#growing older so beautiful

[hawleywilby]

#rob james-collier #thomas barrow #da cast #the inheritance #growing older so beautiful #and his eyes #then and now

[jemmo]

i didnt watch unknown as it was airing bc i knew it would consume me so i decided to binge it all today. i was correct. it has consumed me.

#i am so unwell #and the thing is there is no specific moment or ep i can point to or rewatch to get out out of my system #there is something about the all consuming atmosphere of the show that’s so dense and heavy it’s impossible to escape it I don’t know how #and i find it incredible how they managed to established that atmosphere and built it so well and reached these peaks of emotion that you’d #think would break all that tension but it just returns 10-fold #like this is how you do storytelling this is how you plot a 12 episode drama #bc you get the peak in ep 6 that is the crux of the story getting revealed but you’re only halfway #there’s still so much story to go and they show all of it #they show that this is a thing that takes time and thought and it perfectly demonstrates how stuck in his ways wei qian is #and i find it incredible how both the actors were able to convey the passing of time and their growing up through their performance you can #really feel how wei yuan matures and how what’s perceived as this childish crush or obsession never leaves bc it was never that it was #always more serious and concrete but in his maturity he can show that #and there’s something so crushing about watching wei qian i swear i choked up so many times watching this show bc they both got to me so bad #but wei qian’s story and his outlook on life is so universal and so true to that older brother role that so many people have #i am rambling so bad i just wanna like… exist in the vibe of this show forever #bc the heaviness of it makes you feel the weight lift in the moments of joy it’s beautiful #unknown

[fate-defiant]

Duck hits different when you're no longer thirteen and in the throes of navigating friendships for the very first time and defining yourself by your social ineptitude.

#me at 13: wow duck is so awkward and weird and clumsy. just like me!!!!! #me at 23(older but only marginally wiser): duck is an incredibly emotionally intelligent and kind child- #- and its so sad that she doesn't see the beautiful impact she has on the world around her. #And not as Princess Tutu but as Duck! Literally everyone she meets enjoys her company- #- mainly because its so easy to be open and vulnerable around her! #And she doesn't even see how well liked and aporeciated she is! #(i mean that's partly dross's fault for never letting her develop her relationships with ppl who r past their usefulness to his narrative) #Anyway wow I really shot myself in the leg as a teenager by getting so caught up in my Incompetent Introvert persona. #Really didn't to right by the people around me by not bothering to put effort into my relationships with them! #Gosh it sure would be interesting if me growing up and learning and seeing things differently- #-impacted the way I view a beloved character from a media I consider a sort of a milestone that defined my tastes greatly later on in life! #Wouldn't that be just the darndest thing. Especially if it happened like 10 years later. #Which is duch a pointedly significant number itd sure feel a little on the nose haha! #Me at 50: anyone in this thread chew gum #fate.txt #duck #princess tutu

[thepersonalquotes]

“Kiss me like you don’t need air. Hold me like you can’t let go. Love me like you’d die without me.” - Sarah Doughty

#quotes #words #author quotes # “Keep your face always toward the sunshone- and shadows will fall behind you.” - Walt Whitman “There are so many beautiful reasons to #not 2 in the morning when you’re lonely.” - Unknown “Feelings are just visitors #let them come and go.” - Mooji “It’s become very apparent to me that the older you are the less praise you’re going to get. When you’re 3 #they give you gold stars. When you’re 10 and you score a goal #they take you out for ice-cream. But when you’re 17 and struggling to fit in #no one gives you a hug just for making it through the day. And when you’re 23 and pulling long hours at the office #no one asks if you’re alright. And you start to wonder if you are #if there’s a point to any of it. The answer is yes. Because good work #real good work that shapes your character #doesn’t need to be acknowledged. You grow in the silences #in the reflections #in the inhales and exhales that let you know you’ve made it from one moment to the other.” - Unknown “Kiss me like you don’t need air. Ho #and that I’ll die yelling and laughing.” - Jack Kerouac

[leos-regression-cove]

I think it says a lot about me as a person now that that the easiest way to make me cry as a child (and still now. I didn't think I'd tear up while writing this lmao) was to imply that the majesties and wonders of childhood and imagination are all a dream that inevitably leaves us as we get older that we can only regain in death and that the vivid inner worlds and personalities we give our toys in our early years either feel abandoned, vengeful, or die entirely as we age.

#i would literally have to leave the room for some movies or skip the endings of others because I found them so upsetting #a quick list of properties this post is about: #frosty the snowman‚ the polar express‚ the Carebears movie: the next generation‚ the velveteen rabbit‚ peter pan #the third tinkerbell movie‚ winnie the pooh‚ toy story 3‚ narnia‚ the wizard of oz (books)‚ the miraculous journey of edward tulane #and the songs goodbye yellow brick road‚ hey there delilah‚ and rainbow connection (by my own 9 year old interpretation) #The idea that adults can't access magic and it is something you HAVE to grow out of and this mystification of childhood upset me so much #I'm so glad I can put it into words now that I'm older #there are also probably many other properties that fit this description btw #like the brave little toaster and the raggedy anne musical I think #but after being traumatized by the velveteen rabbit I purposefully avoided most movies about toys #there are a lot of christmas shorts I also skip for that purpose #so anyway I'm putting it down this low for a reason #but I was reminded of this because now I'm using these same tattered toy and attatchment motifs in my own writing #but subverting that original meaning by sewing the toys back together so it becomes about repair and healing AS WELL AS the horrors of time #but also how such things can bring magic to people of all ages #and how love and comfort can still be provided by these inner worlds so many years later #the world is filled with beauty and wonder at any age and turning to cynicism and rejecting that reality is NOT what 'growing up' is about

[suffarustuffaru]

friendly reminder that reinhard is approximately the same age as his parents when they had him

#suffaru post #IM SORRY MAYBE THIS IS A REINHARD BLOG NOW…. #i have an essay due at 11:59 pm but instead i am doing this HAH… #OK BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT RIGHT of course rezero is medieval fantasy and full of death traps so of course u got people having kids younger #but theres another layer here in that like 1. heinkel didnt become sword saint and theresia was growing older so he was basically required #to have a kid earlier than usual im sure. and of course heinkel and louanna got lucky bc they truly loved each other #and then theres like. bc louanna has sleeping beauty syndrome shes eternally stuck at 20 yrs old rn. reinhard is the same age as his #comatose mom. shes been in a coma since he was like two. #and reinhard too is expected to have kids to pass down the sword saint blessing. that shit is a family curse at this rate i swear 😭😭 #reinhard van astrea #heinkel astrea #louanna astrea #ok also i know having kids at like 20 is probs like pretty good for medieval standards and all. but its still like. young. and then as we #all know shit goes sideways in the astrea family very quickly after reinhard is born and heinkel has his descent into madness arc which #recontextualized a bit with the fact that he was a young parent that suddenly lost a whole lot of things. #and there are no therapists in rezero so 😭😭😭😭 #also ok yes i am assuming louanna was either 19 or 20 when she had reinhard… #meanwhile heinkel we know for sure was like 20 yrs old yeah. #re:zero

[alhaithamhabibi]

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖔𝖙𝖙𝖊 𝖆𝖌𝖗𝖎𝖈𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘

ᴍᴇᴇɴᴀ ɴᴏᴛᴇs : i couldn't resist okay- anyway, my baby charlotte needs some recognition so pls accept these small crumbs

𖤝‌ after the incident with roxana's butterflies, charlotte despised the winged creatures even three years later. she's more cautious around them but she will have panic attacks should those red-colored butterflies come too near and she loathes that, seeing it as a weakness. and having a weakness in the agriche household means punishment or death. and she's an agriche, charlotte has to survive to make it here.

𖤝‌ charlotte's preference for weapons is her whips. and yes, she had named them. they were gifts from her father ( surprising, right? ) from his trip after she successfully tortured people in his stead. and she cherishes them. now she thinks the sentiments were useless but don't underestimate the girl and her whips. she can still knock people off their feet and place them under her easily.

𖤝‌ when younger, charlotte was much easier to manipulate out of all her siblings. because her mother spoiled her so much just so she can use her daughter to protect her when danger comes. eventually, charlotte was able to see past her mother's manipulation and break free from it. her father is nothing worth to her and her mother was just using her so isn't it fair if charlotte starts putting herself first?

𖤝‌ charlotte was also compared to roxana by her mother a lot because she was lante favorite daughter and a true agriche. she looked up to her older sister for all her accomplishments but deep down, she also resented her as she couldn't attain roxana achievements as her mother pressured her to. the constant comparison grew worse and after the butterfly incident, her feelings for the blonde went from bad to worse.

𖤝‌ charlotte used to hate her looks. she looked nothing like her father which her mother used to criticize a lot. and she wanted to please her mother a lot so she tried to resemble more of lante in terms of personality. though after charlotte left her mother's mind games behind, she learned to appreciate her emerald green eyes and fiery red hair. she may resemble her mother more here but she's starting to look at herself as just charlotte.

𖤝‌ charlotte holds grudges for a long time added to her anger issues and her prideful nature, it's a really bad mix. but after the house fell, she's learning how to work with her issues and try to be better. she's sixteen, of course, and she's gonna make mistakes and say things she won't be able to properly apologize for. but of there's one thing that makes it up for it, it's her persistence to be better. at least better than her parents.

𖤝‌ after the agriche manor fell, charlotte left the house and decided to become free of her family's wretched name. yes, she grew up as a standard agriche but as she grew older, she learned more about the world around her. and that came with a longing to experience it. and when the time came, charlotte escaped the manor with the money she obtained and jewelry she had 'borrowed' from her mother. she doesn't regret it. after all, her name means free and that's what she will be.

#𓆩 ♱ 𓆪 ( — meena writes ) #the way to protect the female lead's older brother #charlotte agriche #the way to protect the female lead's older brother headcanons #quite proud of this tbh #wish i had more context on her but unfortunately she's not the main character or apart of the main cast #there was so much potential for her honestly #i wouldn't mind being isekaid in her place either seeing as her role doesn't impact the story much and she can escape the house #oh dear here comes another wip #i could lowkey see her looking like the female lead leticia from my husband hides his beauty manhwa #as she grows older tbh #am i the only one?

[popponn]

IT'S LOVE IN MUNDANITY IT'S I LOVE YOU SAID THROUGH THE SMALLEST THINGS IT'S I FIND BEAUTY IN EVERYTHING BECAUSE YOU ENTERED MY LIFE AND SHIFTED ITS AXIS IT'S A BIG WORLD ALTERING OCCURRENCE SPOKEN THROUGH A SINGLE SOMEONE'S VIEW OF THE WORLD IT'S AN I LOVE YOU IT'S

#i am a bit unwell right now #the concept of “love is so so simple and big” in the way it always feel like the world's most beautiful all while being translated in shape #of something as small as “i will help you get this thing even though it's only a step away” i— #i wanna write this soon. i wanna write something like this soon so much #as i grow older i realize how wonderful love and friendship is in the way it is so multifaceted and it's always #has been there. when that multiverse movie said “IT'S LOVE. IT'S A GOOD THING WE ARE NOT ALONE.” #good lord. im a mess (this time in a good way) #babblings #im going to sleep and will probably regret this in the morning but anyway

[heavenlydreamangelflyhigh]

im trying to live day by day and take baby steps and its working but i still get the itch to kill myself every 8 hrs or so. better than every 30 mins.

#it helps if i imagine its an external force telling me to kill myself instead of acknowledging that #my brain is just hardwired to self delete when i feel any minor discomfort after years of chronic suicidality #idk i genuinely do not want to die even if i may cry and scream that i do and i also recognize that its remporary and i wont #live like this forever .a lot of it has to do withiving with my abusers fulltime and having off and on mental health support #i also have a lot of loved ones that would genuinely miss me and be distraught if i were to kick the bucket so that keeps me going #sui ment #i would love to tell my 8 year old self that it gets better and we won't be suicidal when we grow up #but sadly that isn't the case..i'd tell them it gets easier and that we're making strides to feel well and want to live happily #and i think that would give them a sense of relief..i am now four years older than my self prescribed expiration date and i am so proud #of myself. i have experienced beautiful things since i decided to stick around. i am so grateful for every moment i have

[everythingsinred]

what follows is a long, rambly, and possibly sappy thank you note to the best fandom ive ever involved myself in. if you have ever sent me an ask, commented on my fics, or replied to a post i made (or even liked it tbh)--then this post is for you. (and this is most certainly not a good-bye or even close; i just occasionally get into sappy moods)

i want to start working on a career that i like, and my mom’s recommendation was to start a writing blog (she insisted i dont call it that though--to call it a “website” so it sounds more professional when i apply for writing gigs). its not the first time shes given me that advice but i have for some reason always resisted that idea before. “nobody would read it” was always the bottom line. that whole “it has to be perfect to make up for the fact that it’s me” has always been my outlook on anything i produce. its why i feel so poorly whenever i post a new chapter of a fic or any art ever. its why im taking so long on the next batch of ga essays. its why ive never formally submitted any writing ever for publishing. why would anyone read anything i have to write, especially with no dead fandom to prompt them? who would choose me out of all the aspiring writers out there?

for ga it was a bit easier after a bit of breaking through the initial anxiety of sharing bits of myself. its a small fandom. not much content going around. theyd take anything right? even if it was from me! 

but something really weird happened these past few years in the ga fandom. i started writing essays and became more vocal, posting my thoughts, writing a long, dark, fucked up fanfic. i got feedback from people who wanted more from me. theyd ask me my thoughts on things, when id never considered myself an authority on anything or even very interesting to talk to (a lifetime of being the substitute friend will do that to you). ppl sent me asks about questions. they replied to my posts to further discuss things. me! what on earth?

then it got weirder. i posted my weird messed up little fic and now every once in a while ill get a comment from a person that says that my fic is their favorite, not just in the fandom, but ever. EVER. what? a couple of people have told me that they’d read anything i wrote, even if it had nothing to do with gakuen alice.

that they’d read something just because it was me.

this isnt a rant or a vent. something has changed in my self esteem in the past few years because today, when my mom told me i should start a “writing website” and post weekly writing, it actually sounded like a decent idea. no part of her advice was different than it had ever been, but i was. i could for the first time imagine starting a blog (website) and picture someone actually liking what they found there. and that’s bc of the ga fandom and bc of the writing ive done it for it and SPECIFICALLY the writing ive actually had the guts to share. 

none of it has been perfect. im lazy when it comes to self-editing and when i finish writing a chapter im eager to just throw it out there instead of rereading it once, let alone twice. a lot of it has been imperfect, but you guys still read it. you enjoyed it, even. “it has to be perfect to make up for the fact that it’s me” has never been a problem for you. for whatever reason, quite a few of you like me, like my writing, like my ideas and thoughts. a couple of years ago i wouldnt have been able to fathom that, not even in my wildest dreams. 

im proud of myself for taking those first steps a couple years back, for posting those first couple posts and letting myself get involved in the fandom for a manga ive loved for half my life. im proud because if i hadnt done that, then maybe my self esteem wouldnt have developed like this. maybe i wouldnt have been able to picture a career in publishing as clearly as i can now. i obviously still have issues as far as my self esteem is concerned. i second-guess myself. i talk down to myself. i put off rereading bc i dont want to hate what i create. but you guys have helped me like my writing and helped me see that other people can like it too.

i am beyond grateful for that. i dont get a lot of traction or feedback like i would if i were in a larger fandom, but i dont mind. the feedback that i do get is of such good quality and has meant so much to me that it has potentially changed my life. i just needed you all to know that. that the people who have sent me asks, both on and off anon, requesting my thoughts on any topic; the people who leave comments on ffn and ao3, giving support ranging from long paragraphs to a brief sentence; the people who dm me or message me to share their thoughts on my work; the people who commented on my natsumikan essays telling me that ive helped them see something from a different perspective--you all have helped me see that there’s value in the things i create. 

i just want to say thank you. it has meant so much to me so far to be able to feel so confident in my writing. i really didnt even notice the change until today. how bizarre is it that something so important can change without you even noticing? i look forward to sharing more with you, from more fics to the mikan essay (which still has to be perfect, just maybe not as perfect as it wouldve had to be a few years ago lol). 

don’t be nervous that this a good-bye. it is not. it’s strange because whenever i’ve said anything like this (sent a message of adoration to a person i love, for example), people think it’s a bad sign. that i’m saying good-bye, or that it’s somehow a sign of something unsaid. i understand. this kind of nonsense sappiness (like all that stuff i wrote up there ^) is usually saved for the ffn bio when someone is leaving the site, for the good-bye post when someone decides to leave a fandom. “you’ve all meant so much to me and i’m leaving now.” that’s because usually people save all the important things for the end. you only say how you’ve felt when you say farewell. i don’t think life should be that way. i’m not saying good-bye, i’m saying i love you. i think people should say that more. i want people to feel good about themselves for what they’ve done, however small, to make my life--and undoubtedly the lives of others--a little brighter. and you have. you should know and i don’t intend to keep it to myself until i say good-bye (whenever or even if that happens). 

tldr; i love you gakuen alice fandom <3 youre not dead because dead things cant give life the way you have.

#me and the gakuen alice fandom: a love story for the ages #my beautiful messiah. #if i ever come across as confident #especially in my older posts #that is incidental. i am always nervous to press post. this fandom has helped me grow so much yall have no idea #ga #gakuen alice #little anya things #this is partially a musing on my conversation w my mother abt the website #but also partially a response to every post on the ga tag complaining abt the dead fandom #i feel like its maybe unfair to judge the fandom based on how few ppl post (when its not even that few--i do track the tag) #when so many ppl love it and are eager to jump in on conversations to talk about it #it may be small but its passionate. passion is the lifeblood of any media that has stuck around in ppls hearts as long as ga has #i dont think that should be understated #my advice as someone who also mourned the 'death' of the fandom: #talk anyway. #youll bring all the ghosts out <3 and theyre for the most part quite friendly #if nobody reads this thats okay. i just needed to say it

[sangre]

my friends make me feel safe btw

#i love my friends they're all the kindest and coolest and smartest and most beautiful #it takes so much work to love growing older but it's getting easier you know #🦍 oog oog

[viridianwritesmagic]

What if…?

What if one day we woke up and in the sky we saw the blue whales fly?

What if instead of clouds we had waves? Instead of stars shells?

Ah a beautiful sight indeed…

…but…

What if it doesn’t make sense? What if no one sees what I see?

What if they don’t feel what I feel when I see such majestic beings existing just above me?

What if they get scared? Would their fear control me? Would their fear consume me?

What if those majestic beings that I once found pleasure in seeing no longer make me feel what I felt? No longer want to make me jump and yell?

What would happen then? Do I just need to go on? I don’t want to.

Anyway, at the end of the day it’s just a what if.

Right?…

-Viridian.

#writing #quotes #poetry #aesthetic #life quotes #literature #original poetry #poem #beautiful #getting older #growing #fear #young author #I have no experience in writing actual poetry so please don’t come after me

[thepersonalquotes]

“It’s about who you miss at 2 in the afternoon when you’re busy, not 2 in the morning when you’re lonely.” - Unknown

#quotes #words #author quotes # “Keep your face always toward the sunshone- and shadows will fall behind you.” - Walt Whitman “There are so many beautiful reasons to #not 2 in the morning when you’re lonely.” - Unknown “Feelings are just visitors #let them come and go.” - Mooji “It’s become very apparent to me that the older you are the less praise you’re going to get. When you’re 3 #they give you gold stars. When you’re 10 and you score a goal #they take you out for ice-cream. But when you’re 17 and struggling to fit in #no one gives you a hug just for making it through the day. And when you’re 23 and pulling long hours at the office #no one asks if you’re alright. And you start to wonder if you are #if there’s a point to any of it. The answer is yes. Because good work #real good work that shapes your character #doesn’t need to be acknowledged. You grow in the silences #in the reflections #in the inhales and exhales that let you know you’ve made it from one moment to the other.” - Unknown “Kiss me like you don’t need air. Ho #and that I’ll die yelling and laughing.” - Jack Kerouac

[icanseethefuture333]

I am emotionally in shambles 💔

#my vacation is almost over visiting family #we went to the arcade and love story by taylor swift came on #it reminded me of when i was a little girl and how I'd sing my heart out to this #😭 my nephew was the same age as me when the song was released 💔 #we went on a ferris wheel together and it was really special :') 💖 #i hope this can be a good memory for him #a long time i watched the movie uptown girls and so many parts of that movie has been renacted this year for me #I'm 21 I'll be turning 22 like Molly (Brittany Murphy) #i also feel like I have been going through the growing pains of having to grow up after having a traumatic childhood #i guess it'll be my turn next to have a birthday 🥲 #sighhh... getting older is scary but i can see how it can be beautiful sometimes as well #personal

[kimjiwoong]

how to tell you're getting older: you get ready cause your friend has to buy some stuff and she doesn't wanna do it alone. what does she need to buy? a new vacuum cleaner and half a dozen cups because she has broken at least 3 in the last month.

#getting older (absolutely not derogatory) #sometimes it's just so funny #you find yourself in the same place with the same people but at completely different moments of your life #isn't it beautiful to grow up next to the people you love!! #anyways im srsly getting ready so brb #rose.txt

[emometalhead]

The anger I feel listening to Would've, Could've, Should've is insurmountable. I'm 19, and just view myself as such a kid. Like it's always really weird and gross to me when older people view me as a full adult, because I'm really not! I can't legally drink. My brain isn't fully developed. I'm more mature than I was as a younger teenager, but I'm still missing so much life experience. It kills me that Taylor dealt with so much at my age. She was a kid. I'm glad she is able to look back and acknowledge that her childhood was taken from her and that she was taken advantage of. I hope she's healed from all her teenage self endured.

#I have so many thoughts when listening to songs like WCS/Dear John/ATWTMVTVFTV #I know there's 19 year olds that are more independent and view themselves as full fledged adults but personally that's not my experience #bc of the knowledge passed down through the experiences of people like Taylor I'd be mortified if a 30 year old man was interested in me #19 is a kid #two years ago I had to get permission to go to the bathroom #30 year olds have had so much more time to establish who they are and to grow+develop as a person #for a 30 year old to so willingly take advantage of a young girl is disgusting #we know Taylor has insecurities #everyone does but it's especially intense for teenagers #attention feels great #knowing someone wants you #so for someone older and much more experienced to see that and try to create a relationship... #sorry I just needed to let that rant out #there's much more eloquent and less emotional takes on this but I'm mad and not in the mood to be articulate #anyway the song is beautiful #Taylor is incredible and I love her #I'm sending her hugs. #I'm so glad she's in a better place now with a better support system and understanding #taylor swift #ashley rambles #would've could've should've #midnights