#guess what i've been reading recently

[lesbokyoko]

嫌だ

嫌だ

嫌だ!!!!!!

#satoko houjou #houjou satoko #higurashi #higurashi no naku koro ni #higurashi when they cry #art stuffs #guess what i've been reading recently #tatarigoroshi hit really close to home for me #i love you satoko my little baby #wanted to try something different with this one #used colors i'm not as comfortable with #and pseudo-cell shading

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[icewindandboringhorror]

recent lounging babey images

#he's so floppy recently and I hope it's just the heat. I think wamr weather makes everyone floppy and loungy #a beauntifulle boye... #cats #STILL working on posting some drafts. finishing new poll adventure.. other things... It's just hard with the weather and other things going #on. I've had a few more doctors appointments and other things to do recently that have to be done in a time limit #so I hvae to use my extremely limited energy working on that instead of doing the things I'd really rather do. :T #Main focuses though are keeping up better with doing and posting costumes + sculptures as main creative things. at least finishing the #main poll adventure story. Reworking the game I kind of abandoned for a few years. keeping up with game videos and a few other side things. #Especially the game though. I've been in a really worldbuildy mood recently. I just wish that was easier to manifest into something. I've #now put the worldbuilding slideshow reading video on pause for a while because it's SOOO long to do #and I think I should prioritize making games and stuff instead. but still other things. IT's just kind of like.. I have a whole world and #everything very built and planned out but now.. what do I do with it? what's the best way to share that? factual slideshows just going over #the information like a dictionary? make it into a game? write short stories? do art attached to the world? etc. etc. ?? There are so many #potential avenues I end up kind of flip flopping between them a lot because none really seem more beneficial than the others and they all #seem equally enjoyable and also equally hard so. It's like?? I guess just do what the hell ever and hope I made the right choice in terms o #cost benefit and reward for my time lol. ANYWAY.. Also why I'm in my 'trying to make friends' era still because I think having other creat #ive friends can help you find direction like.. people will meet each other and then go 'hey lol just for fun lets start a project together! #and then like 5 years later it's genuinely become something. etc. having other people to help weed out ideas and start small creative teams #together and etc. I feel is a very beneficial part of networking or whatever but also I have the social capacity of a stale bread roll and #am also inherently unrelatable to seemingly a majority of people due to my hermit wizard swag (detachment from general society and hyper #focus on fantasy worlds in my head gjhghj) so trying to meet people as a grown adult with social issues is Very easy and fun (it is not) #even very basic things like my core communication style is so incompatible with a lot of people it's like.. hhhh... People in this modern #age have GOT to stop being afraid of phone calls and/or text that is longer than 6 paragraphs. Work with me here. I WANT to talk to you. bu #I do not know what your emojis mean and it's physically impossible for me to type less than 85 sentences. please.. hhjgjgb #AAANYWAY!! I am working on things when I can given the circumstances (SUMMER).. hopefully some costume pictures and stuff soon. :'3 #I've not forgotten about my art and etc. - as usual I just am bad at social media and also functioning if it's above 65F lol

[zincbot]

ngl i love the naruto fic trend of 'kakashi goes back in time and has to try to fix everything'

#it's so common but also 90% of those fics i've read have been SUPER good #i've seen so many different slight variations on this too #naruto #i really enjoy a hokage-era kakashi because he's the most put together and likely to actually fuck shit up and not worry as much about being #like. suspicious. #an early naruto kakashi might have more time being lost in his memories when surrounded by everyone he lost #i've seen ones where kakashi goes back alone. where he and obito both go. where some of the kids go with him #read one that killed me recently where a post-series hokage kakashi switches places entirely with his younger self #(though what his younger self is experiencing in the future is told entierly through him suddenly remembering things that never happened #as if they were long ago #and witnessing this altering of time and memory. kakashi in the past elects to not tell his team anything about the future #even when minato asks him directly #he takes it as torture and doesn't break. #i read one once where kakashi went back to his child body but the sharingan came with him #i've read one where in his attempt to fix things he gets himself kidnapped in rin's stead and becomes host to sanbi #i've never seen this trend be as common in any fandom as it is with naruto #i guess cause kakashi's past is a series of horrible events that. wouldn't you like the chance to fix them

[cowcowwow]

Hey y'all. So, you guys might have noticed that I've been kinda inactive/not responding to messages quickly. I wanted to apologize, but also warn that this might not get better soon?

The main reasons I haven't been responding is because either, my wrists are hurting so bad that I can't type for long (or my other chronic pain is acting up), I'm so tired that I can't think of interacting, I'm helping out my family, or I'm having a bad episode(?) (Not entirely what's going on on those days, to be real)

I'm sorry, but I do have a happier note!! I want to say, thank you all so much if you have messaged me, interacted with me, reblogged from me, anything, recently. It makes these days so much lighter, makes me so much happier, even if I can't respond.

And to my friends who message me frequently: thank you. I love you all so, so much. I really really want to reply soon hopefully, but in the meantime know that you guys are so sweet, so fun, so awesome, and I love you 💙💙

(And to my friends who I haven't talked with in a bit, love you guys too <333)

#I've been in a bit of a sad rut because the doctors keep saying they can't help me #meanwhile the pain is getting worse #and it scares me. the idea that I might not get better... #but at the very least #my dad has been trying so hard to help #and recently got me wrist braces which are a LIFESAVER #so I actually might be able to type or draw more soon?? we'll see #but yeah. we're gonna keep moving forward #my dad says he's confident that we'll find something to help me #so we're going to do just that :) #I promise #usually I don't like apologizing for not responding because I think it's incredibly fine and valid and okay if someone doesn't respond to me #but I guess I just wanted to let y'all know what's going on? #wanted to be understood methinks #fgdvdbb sorry if this was. a bit of a downer #thank you though. if you've read this far :) <3333 #love you all #also also #love you so much Owl and Strawber :] 💙💙💖💕 thank you guys for messaging me <333 #cow talks #tw vent #kinda #vent

[sysig]

Your Weekly TV Guide

On Monday you can expect:

2:30 PM: Star Control II - Helix

And Tuesday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Wednesday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Thursday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Friday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Saturday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix +4:20 PM Bonus!: Helix!DAX

Sunday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)

#Weekly TV Guide #I forgot again lol #Not like it's hard to guess what to expect lol #Last week's warning of this week being identical? I have only a repeat announcement to give you lol ♥ #I Completely lost my mind about Max and Dex recently on top of ZEX - and you can see DAX's bonus there on Saturday as well lol #The next Helix reread is going to be absolutely wild <3 <3 #I actually have gone in and picked out specific scenes to go over already and hghghglgjsadgds <3 <3 #I've always had a strong reaction to Helix but this is like a whole other level ♥♪♫ #Reading new is starting to wind down in real time but I'm still not done Quite yet hehe #Inspiration still coming at me as well of course! That usually doesn't settle until Well after I'm done reading hehehe <3 #Hhhhh I'm just so ♥ #I'm gonna have to take a proper word count on my liveblog notes lol #Normally I wouldn't make liveblog notes while reading but I haven't been able to read in my hammock so since it's there ♪ #I'm honestly really glad for that I've been so enjoying writing down my thoughts and looking at them after taking a bit of time to digest #I think the last time I looked I found something like 700+ instances of ''<3'' so if that's any indication lol

[running-in-the-dark]

a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)

#the reason I'm thinking about that right now: I wish I had never read that having a crease on your earlobe means you're more likely to have #heart disease. #scared me so much that I read a whole paper about it #but it's been years now so I don't remember the details #just that that's a thing apparently #and guess what my brain does with that information? oh yeah of course I have to obsessively look at the ears of everyone now! does that #do anything helpful? nope! just makes me very very anxious :) #it's just like when I was a kid and I got nightmares about scurvy every time I didn't eat a potato for a week. #like. wow I could be so smart and everything if my brain wasn't constantly focused on random bullshit that is completely irrelevant 😭 #also this thing specifically: I've always been weirdly fascinated by ears and this made that a million times worse and also very scary. #like ooh that's a nice ear :) oh no death exists and this person is going to die and #yeah it sucks. #specifically choosing not to mention any names in this context because my god this shit is on my mind all the time already I really don't #need to say it where anyone can see #it's embarrassing enough #though anyone who has looked at my blog in the past month already knows who I'm talking about. #like. I really shouldn't allow myself to like anyone over the age of like. idk 45. #it's so unbelievably exhausting. #but annnyway I'm totally normal and fine :) #oh yeah I also have creases on my earlobes lol so that definitely added to the scariness (and THEN my mother randomly mentioned recently #that EVERYONE on her side of the family had/has heart disease. bitch WHAT the fuck. anyway so yeah guess we know what's gonna kill me #haha isn't that fun :) ) #ALSO the fact that my memory is very very bad means that I remember absolutely none of the details about shit like this. so it could very #well be completely irrelevant and harmless but i wouldn't remember that part. #and I think even if I found out more it wouldn't help. it's been an obsession for so long. I've never had one go away that I've had for #this long. so. guess I'm just fucked. #personal

[savrenim]

gods nov 5th is the gift that keeps giving

#I recently have been dragged into I guess sort of the boku no hero academia fandom in the funniest of ways #which is to say I read a crossover fic went 'huh that's good' and decided to read more fic while also deciding to never watch the show #which I've only done for one fandom before and tbh it might legit be a more fun fanfiction reading experience than the normal one #it is WILD trying to reverse-engineer what is simply well-accepted fan theory and what is actual canon #I've definitely gotten a few guesses wrong but the osmosis process is really fun #(esp bc if you want to be a good detective you have to check dates; even people writing very carefully close to canon #might have written a fic before canon came out) #BUT ANYWAYS I guess I read BNHA fic now it's actually pretty good #probably bc there are multiple characters that fit my standard..... not even 'blorbo' preferences #my 'you have a backstory and/or situation that means fanfic written about you is most likely going to hit the spot' preferences #1 defs being Eraserhead bc let's be real 'I am a very tired gruff teacher working two jobs at once who does not get any sleep and has #against my own will adopted all of you why is this happening to me I'm so tired' is The Most Relatable #Hawks bc Crafted Into A Weapon From Childhood is The Weapons Feels^TM #and then Dabi bc that was the crossover that I read that was fun ok it was a silly jjk crossover of 'what if Gojo is reincarnated as Dabi' #that just transferred all my 'HELLO FAVORITE CHARACTER' emotions onto Dabi who then I go and look up and has also the sort of backstory #that makes him fave character material #SO here I am sitting here just generally happy with all of this watching my annual Nov 5th meme compilation #and LO AND BEHOLD there is strong arm 'trending during the us election: destiel/ BNHA' meme #and I'm going 'what the fuuuuuuuck my new favorite fandom aLSO TRENDED IN THE NOV 5TH CHAOS????' #so obviously I had to look up why #WELL THE WHY WAS DABI BACKSTORY REVEAL #anyways my housemate had to check on me as to why I was screaming and it turns out that indeed nov 5th #is the gift that keeps on giving #if you have read this far down in my tags I feel like you now know uncomfortably personal things about me #esp if you know enough about BNHA to understand all of that #so if you have any fic recs About My Favs I'm taking them I esp enjoy canon retellings bc it's REALLY fun to try to figure out #which bits of those are actually canon

[tetrameryxx]

It's been my dream since I was 8 reading wolf comics on deviantart to make my own webcomic. I would love to do it someday when I have more time. And tbh probably the right meds. ☺️

#ive been feeling so 🥹 about the fact that i've had such shit luck with doctors #but whatever I guess I don't need meds maybe I'm perfectly neurotypical #anyways i've been reading a lot of Internet Animal Comics recently and it's getting me into a 'what iffie' kinda mood #thinkies

[datastate]

it's a little funny when people post clips like "THIS IS GAY AS FUCK" with the implication that anyone, regardless of experience, would recognize these characters being gay as fuck. but for me, who only manages to get into something new every blue moon, and has no context... to be honest these just sound like two guys. there isn't even tension beneath their exchange. they could be talking about the weather as coworkers. when are we going to return to gay shit like "i was devastated. robbed of the one man i ever loved, i needed to find a new reason to live.

#I'm teasing. though sometimes i still don't understand how people read things as gay even once i have the context #but oh well #jestersvaguely #ykza tag #honestly i don't know why miné's been on the mind. i guess i have just been thinking abt how i would incorporate him into y4 if he was #forced to live. esp since the most recent cutscene I've seen was w daigo [sadly presses my hand against the window] what happened to you...

[gideonisms]

grits teeth this anxiety is just an excuse to treat myself better that's all this is telling me. It's just the sign to go on more walks and make myself my favorite tea and read more. Things that WILL feel good and luxurious so help me

#going to win at self care something that is normal to want and possible to achieve #knowing for a fact i'm never anxious about the thing i think i am and i'll figure out 2 years from now what this was about #but still having random intrusive thoughts and judging myself for everything i've ever done is like. #guess i will just stew in this! until unspecified date my brain decides things are better. rolls eyes this shit again #>:/ #things that should feel fine do not feel fine i can't tell if they're really not or if i'm just having feelings at random #love to be the sherlock holmes of my own fucking life trying to figure out what's going on when the causes for this in the past have been #everything from actually horrible job to didn't read enough to too much noise in the morning to actual depression to not enough interaction #to too much interaction #like? give me a clue here #am i upset about insert event this fall or am i sad i got a b on a recent paper. hello?? #side note this is so funny i put more personal details into this recent paper bc the professor said we should #got a worse grade than my sterile infodumps. back to infodumping it is! experiment concluded #it was also 30 minutes late maybe that's why #she also just skipped grading a presentation i did? like just. wasn't on there #idk man i might just take the b for the class trying to decide if i care enough to email to be like #you have skipped. assignments

[drundertalescum]

Hi! Just wanted to say that I stumbled upon your old old fic recs where you gave a few warm words about my (equally old) UT fics, and it gave me enough inspiration to update a fic started five years ago, haha. You're awesome and thank you for that :'D

thats so awesome! I'm glad to hear it! :D

#let me know which fic! #i have a guess based on whats updated recently that i had a subscription on #but it would be so awkward if i was like ''a yes here's the fic'' #and it's someone else's #but this is so nice to hear! #i've been so bad about reading lately #i've had fics on my immediate TO READ list for like 4 years now #but i was just thinking about revisiting some old favorites to get a momentum going #so this may be a good place to start

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

.

#i am between books right now #dont have one currently on the go because I finished MB and then read Rabbits on vacation #and even though I'm slow as balls when it comes to reading i feel lost lol #I'm packing my lunch kit and realized. i dont have any current books on the kindle i have rn #and no physical book in my bag #i guess I need to go look at my book shelf but i dont know what to grab next #i guess i have book one of the dreamer trilogy that i haven't touched her yet #kee speaks #I'm kinda struggling this morning fam #i lost a friend recently (not lost as in died but lost as in there was a falling out and i kinda had to chose sides) #and before the falling out they had been so excited for me to watch str/ang/er thi/ngs 4 since i watched it late #and they absolutely loved Eddie #which at the time the pics they were showing me of him were absolutely terrible and I got creeper vibes off of him so i was like okaay dude #but now after watching the entire season i do love him but don't feel like i can talk to that friend anymore and it sucks #it's been a long time since ive lost a friend #most of the time for me it's just that we stopped talking as often and it just peters out #but this was a lot more sudden. tbf they haven't explicitly cut me off yet but after how they treated a mutual friend #and some other knit picks that I've discovered other friends have had with him i just dont really want to chat with him anymore #he's the one that rewrote one of my cathartic character death fics and then posted it without my permission #and apparently he's done pretty much the same thing for everyone else who walked away after this fall out #he told two others that he'd adopt their characters and 'treat them right' since we all wrote somewhat dark stuff #so he kinda killed all three of our desires to write or share our writing with him #plus there was a lot of religious guilt tripping he did a couple years ago that triggered the hell out of me #idk. it sucks cause i had a really long haul of chatting about media with him and we'd throw fic ideas back and forth and write AU's togeth #but there were also shitty things he did that i can't get over #knowing he likes Eddie so much and me getting into the vibe and liking Eddie too amidst all this just amplifies the emotions i guess #idk. whatever. I guess if anyone wants to ramble about Eddie with me my DM's or ask box are open 😂

[gokupowers]

People who are alcoholics can have stable normal lesbian relationships wtf

yes....I am aware? r u purposefully missing the point ???? here's a fun quote for u

In certain young people today like these two from my writing workshop, I notice what I find increasingly troubling: a cold-blooded grasping, a hunger to take and take and take, but never give; a massive sense of entitlement; an inability to show gratitude; an ease with dishonesty and pretension and selfishness that is couched in the language of self-care; an expectation always to be helped and rewarded no matter whether deserving or not; language that is slick and sleek but with little emotional intelligence; an astonishing level of self-absorption; an unrealistic expectation of puritanism from others; an over-inflated sense of ability, or of talent where there is any at all; an inability to apologize, truly and fully, without justifications; a passionate performance of virtue that is well executed in the public space of Twitter but not in the intimate space of friendship...

The assumption of good faith is dead. What matters is not goodness but the appearance of goodness. We are no longer human beings. We are now angels jostling to out-angel one another. God help us. It is obscene.

Read a book plz !

#ask #why do i keep getting purposefully dense anons like ...??? this is the second time this week #i was talking about how she has like..a lot of psychological issues? and how no one ever deals w her addiction or her trauma or her #capacity for harm ??? #???? #such weirdo behavior recently #online discourse is so strange like im gonna turn off anons cuz its so counterproductive #u should read it is obscene by adichie maybe u will like. learn something #so weird to care about semantics to this degree like....erm get off ur phone seriously...? #I've been mostly deleting weird anons and posts or trying to be constructive when i get them bc i think responding to negativity with #negativity is useless on both ends but its starting to get weird and redunant... #also why would u think that im saying anything close to what im being accused of here omfg im literally talking about how her addiction #would . obviously play a role in her relationships (her first date with kanaya was when she showed up drunk!) ????? #???? like i guess im not used to chronically online takes bc im so ????? confused by this insane purposeful misreading to give me the least #amount of credit possible. like. r u just looking to read into anything and make urself mad ????? if u want stress relief go like dox a #neo nazi or something . or like. go outside #im gonna delete this one too just cuz i dont wanna deal w weirdo continuum

[lewsvnc]

😸.

#rant/vent ahead ig #this talk about lewis and sexualisation has reeeeally just confirmed im absolutely a lesbian #it's made me realise that i am genuinely repulsed by the idea of having sex with a man #like. not just like oh i don't want to have sex with a man. but genuinely repulsed by it #my attraction to lewis is no exception #this is also related to my thoughts on reader inserts like i said before at some point #like. theres nothing objectively wrong with them (i guess?) but it makes me just. ugh #any time they come up on my for you section and i read a part of them i get soooo overwhelmed it's so uncomfortable #and anyway i only follow like 30 people on here and i try to keep away from blogs that are well... weird abt lewis #especially the ones that depict him as extremely masculine #bc that just. isn't him #my physical attraction to lewis is about 0.000001% of what i love abt him #and recently all i've been seeing is stuff abt his physical appearance including well... sexualisation #anyways idk where im going with this. this isn't directed at anyone and it's my own problem (/srs) but #being a lesbian in this fandom is uncomfortable #but then again lewis is a man lmao #and again it's not anyone's problem #ok lol im done #ig i'll tag this as #ana stuff

[payasitas]

took 30pts of psychic damage today in visiting my old online stomping grounds

#escritos #i've held onto this vague memory of what i was like when i was younger but i didn't know just how relevant the parallels would be #it's been *looks at scrawled ink smudges on my arm* 14yrs??? #it feels like it's easiest to project the more memorable and defining moments into the past 5yrs though...as if they're a lot more recent #rinse and repeat #possibly because i go through these periods where it's reaaally hard to feel like a person and i wind up back at act 1 scene 1 #in the familiarity of going through something big in my life and needing to figure out how to come back from it (stronger + insightful etc) #despite how much more refined and evolved i know i am now #it's a little embarrassing albeit endearing to actually read back on all of my younger unfiltered thoughts though #bittersweet in knowing where i was and where i've gone #i can't really do much about what's happened inbetween the years of thinking i was suffering #in contrast with the realized distinction of *knowing* i really have suffered since then #but even now i can make up for it by viewing that person as an extension of myself and taking care of them #even if i can't go back in time and make things right for whatever moments of the past were too unbearable to them #i'm just so willing to offer myself a patience i didn't even know i could extend inwards while shedding remnants of shame #i guess it's some like...ouroboros of self-love? lol