#happy cena month

[diningwiththeasquiths]

Well that was fun and moving to witness. And I guess the wink into the camera alone (for all the people watching at home) was worth staying up from 2 to 5 AM on a work night. 😂❤

Cena was super sweet and funny, as usual, and I'm happy I decided to watch this live for once. It was a very special night and I'm glad I became a fan of him in time to celebrate this milestone with him (and with y'all). 😌

Nighty night peeps! 😘

#john cena #monday night raw #happy cena month #what a special human being 😊

[takerfoxx]

I'm so fucking confused what did the Rock do

It's a very long and complicated tale, but the short version, the Rock recently joined the board of directors for TKO (WWE's parent company) and SEEMINGLY (as we don't know the full behind the scenes story just yet) used his clout to push himself into the Wrestlemania main event, challenging his sort of cousin Roman Reigns for the WWE Universal Championship and pushing aside Cody Rhodes, the guy that was supposed to be Roman's challenger, and thereby sabotaging a two-year story that everyone was invested in right when it was about to see it's conclusion. And people are pissed about it.

That's the short version. Here is the loooooonnnnnggggg version.

WWE has been plagued by a number of issues over the years (not the least being that it's been run by an actual rapist for the last four decades), but the two relevant issues is a tendency to rely on past their prime stars of yesterday at the expense of building new stars for today, and when they do want to build a new star, they have a bad habit of shoving their chosen golden boy down everyone's throat to everyone else's detriment in a nakedly inauthentic manner until the fans get sick of them (see: Ultimate Warrior, John Cena, and, most recently, Roman Reigns, who will become important later). Needless to say, they've had a lot of trouble getting the crowd behind what is known as the White Meat Babyface, or primary good guy.

The Rock started off as the latter, being introduced as Rocky Maivia, who was a wholesome good boy who was just so happy to be here. People saw through it and booed the fuck out of him. In rare case of the WWE actually listening and responding, they turned Rocky heel and let him vent his frustrations at the fans, which let everyone know that, holy shit, this guy is actually insanely charismatic and probably the best trash talker in the business! Thus, the Rock was born.

However, while he certainly earned his accolades during his heyday, his returns since haven't been so universally admired (see previous note about the WWE pushing the stars of yesterday). One instance about ten years ago involves him main eventing Wrestlemania against John Cena over CM Punk, who was the reigning WWE Champion at the time, and was quite annoyed. Okay, the Rock vs. John Cena could be excused on account of being that much of a dream match, but then they had CM Punk end his year long title run to the Rock so he and Cena could main event again, this time with the title on the line. This was one of the many issues that reportedly led to CM Punk walking out a few months later.

Now, let's move away from the Rock for a bit and talk about Roman Reigns, who was another example of the WWE ramming their chosen golden boy down everyone's throat. Like the Rock, he is part of the venerated Anoa'i Family, who are practically wrestling royalty with how many superstars they've produced (though they're not actually related by blood, but that doesn't matter, as those who marry or are adopted in are still considered full members of the clan).

Roman began as part of the massively popular trio known as the Shield, alongside Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose. And during their two year run, the Shield were kind of incredibly awesome. Three badasses closer than brothers just wrecking a path of destruction against all those who stood in their way, a perfect combination of violence and genuine comradery...right until Seth Rollins betrayed the group and they all became single stars.

Now, despite the WWE having high hopes for all three, Roman was clearly the anointed heir, despite being the least experienced of the three. Unfortunately, they went about this by making him essentially a John Cena clone. Smelling another corporate babyface about to be shoved down their throats, the fans turned on him and turned on him HARD, making him the most loathed face in wrestling for years despite always being treated by the company as a beloved hero. Finally, the decision was made to turn Roman Reigns heel, unleashing his dark side and turning him into the Tribal Chief, a sadistic and manipulative monster who's held an iron grip on the title for literally years. Needless to say, it has been a massive improvement, and he is now quite awesome (though people are sick of how long he's been champion, but that's neither here nor there).

Anyway, heel Roman has been champion for basically forever at this point, and it's been a question of who will eventually be the one to dethrone him, because whoever it is automatically becomes the biggest star in the business. And given what an accomplishment that is, there really can be no place it can happen other than the main event of Wrestlemania.

Enter Cody Rhodes.

Like Roman and the Rock, Cody also comes from a prestigious wrestling family. Cody is the son of the late, great Dusty Rhodes, the American Dream. And this pedigree has weighed heavily on him, both in and out of storyline.

Now, unlike his plain-looking and tubby father, Cody looks like he was grown in a lab to become the perfect WWE wrestler. Movie star looks, an absolutely ripped body, and physical charisma for days. Despite this, his first WWE run didn't go how he wanted. While he saw a fair amount of success, he never seemed to break out of the midcard and was eventually saddled with the loathed Stardust gimmick, which he absolutely hated, and after realizing that things weren't going to change, he decided to bet on himself and leave the WWE to prove everyone wrong.

This ended up working beyond anyone's wildest dreams.

To say that Cody was successful post WWE would be a gross understatement. Rebranding himself as the American Nightmare, Cody became the opposite of everything his father was, dressing in snappy suits and carrying himself in an arrogant, sadistic manner. He worked for a number of places, from TNA to Ring of Honor to New Japan, and saw massive success, winning multiple titles across multiple promotions and building himself as a force to be reckoned with. He was also the impetus for the historically significant All In event, in which a number of wrestlers from a number of different promotions banded together to put on the first non-WWE show to have over ten thousand people in attendance in over twenty years, which eventually led to the creation of AEW, which Cody was an intrinsic part of as well. Needless to say, Cody was cooking.

Unfortunately, his own way of doing things didn't mesh well with the AEW audience, and they turned on him pretty hard after a year or two. Eventually he left to return to the WWE, and a lot of people questioned if he was making a mistake, given how he was treated the last time.

However, his gamble had paid off. His worth had been proved, and now WWE was all in (pun intended) on Cody Rhodes. In contrast to the volatile AEW crowd, the WWE fans welcomed the prodigal son back with open arms. And surprising all cynics (including myself), this love continued strong even after the novelty of Cody Rhodes back wore off, probably bolstered by how carefully his storylines were plotted, some truly killer performances in the ring, and the respect garner by him being an absolutely fucking champ and wrestling Seth Rollins in a Hell in a Cell match despite having a horribly torn pec.

Finally, the WWE had a White Meat babyface that the fans universally accepted and wanted to see more of, and they were going to capitalize. He won the Royal Rumble to rapturous applause and entered in a program with Roman Reigns to challenge him for his title at Wrestlemania. And unlike other challengers, he actually seemed like a credible threat. Much was made about how his father had also challenged for the same title but could never capture it, so he wanted to do what his father couldn't and finish the story. People were behind Cody all the way, and the time seemed right for Roman to finally fall and a new top star to be crowned.

And then Cody lost. Roman cheated, and Cody lost.

Needless to say, people were pissed. However, others said that maybe this was leading to a rematch at the following year's Wrestlemania, making his eventual victory all the sweeter. Certainly, WWE still seemed behind Cody, as he spent the next year in several high profile feuds that kept him looking strong, including going over Brock Lesnar of all people. And again, the fans remained behind him, when in past cases they would have turned on the guy by now. Believe me, this hadn't happened in a very long time.

But not all was well. There were rumbles that the Rock might be queuing up for a return one of these days, possibly to finally face Roman Reigns in another dream match to settle who the true Tribal Chief of the Anoa's family. People had been wanting that match for years, but for it to happen now, upsetting Cody's chance to finally finish his story? Well, that was the worst possible time. However, these rumors seemed to be nothing more than that. Just rumors.

And then CM Punk came back.

Now, Punk is a whole can of worms all in himself, and could easily fill a full post of his own. But the important thing is that he and Cody are very much dark reflections of each other, especially in how both were screwed over by WWE during their first runs, left under dark circumstances, and returned to the fans' adoration. And they both coveted that Wrestlemania main event.

In fact, during an awesome promo battle between the two, Punk specifically pointed out that he intended to do to Cody what the Rock had done to him ten years ago: be that bigger star who came back after not being around for a long time and take that Wrestlemania main event away. And sure enough, during the Royal Rumble, the final two in the ring were CM Punk and Cody Rhodes.

And Cody won. The first man in years to win back to back Rumbles. He singled out Roman Reigns as his target, cementing their Wrestlemania rematch. As for Punk, he had a main event of his own, as he was apparently scheduled to face Seth Rollins for the World Heavyweight Title at night 1 of Wrestlemania. It seemed that both of the prodigal sons were getting their wish!

And then CM Punk got hurt really bad and had to pull out of Wrestlemania.

Well, that sucks, but it shouldn't upset plans too badly. Seth could just wrestle someone else, and Cody's two year story could proceed like everyone wanted.

Well, we all know what happened next.

Yup. It happened. The Rock, likely with the backing of his new position on the TKO's board, had pushed himself into Cody's spot, while Cody (as it appears) will be replacing Punk to take on Seth Rollins instead. A two year story, flushed down the drain. Punk's words had turned out to be prophetic.

And while the fans were cheering in that video, once the buzz had worn off and people realized what had happened, that's when things got nasty. Over the last few days, people have turned on the Rock and turned on him HARD. Rocky sucks chants fill WWE events, #wewantcody trends for days, videos of the Rock get booed, and (unfortunately) even members of his family have gotten caught in the crossfire. People are NOT happy about this direction. Cody is their guy, and right when his story was going to be completed, right when Roman was going to be dethroned by the guy that everyone wanted to see beat him, this happens.

Plus, since then reports have been swirling that this decision was made by the TKO board, not WWE, with the Rock specifically pushing for it to "Save Wrestlemania." Which hasn't exactly warmed people to the idea.

Which is really funny, because the last time Roman Reigns and the Rock shared a ring together, it was in the middle of Roman's disastrous babyface run where the fans hated him, especially in Philadelphia, a city noted for its rebellious fans, and the WWE sent the Rock out to help Roman in hopes of changing their minds.

It didn't work.

And where is Wrestlemania this year? Oh right, Philadelphia.

This is going to be...interesting, to say the least.

#wwe #cody rhodes #the rock #roman reigns #cm punk #wrestlemania

[gadriezmannsgirl]

heyy, can i request one when the reader met gavi's family for the first time and they were a little rude/suspicious about her, because they know that there are girls who just want gavi's money and fame. but then, they meet a second time and they're really nice and just fluff?

It's been a little while since I wrote for my babyboy, Pablito🥹 so here's a little something. Sorry for the delay, anon! Life's been busy these past days

Warnings: Mentions of injuries, I'm not doing a reference to Pablo's knee injury because it's not a cute little prompt😭 Páez Gavira family being overprotective of their small baby🥹 Gavi overprotecting reader, angsty at some point but other than that, it's fluff

Book Covers -P.G6

Summary: First meetings aren't always the best ones

As soon as the door closed you let yourself fall to the floor

"They don't like me" You said hiding your face into your hands

"What? ¿Qué estás diciendo?" (What are you talking about?) Your boyfriend of five months, Pablo shook his head "They like you"

"They don't!" You cried softly "Your mom was looking like she was ready for me to have a mistake so she can call me out for it, Aurora was rude most of the times, it was your dad the one who was lightly accepting of me" You exclaimed looking up at him with teary eyes "I really wanted for them to like me" You whisper softly

"Amor, they like you. Créeme" (Trust me) Pablo fell on the floor with you and pulled you into him. "They always are a bit insecure about who I let into my life but once they see how good you are with, to and for me they'll get around" Pablo kissed your forehead brushing your hair away from your face

"What if they don't?" You whisper "I really wanted to like your family since mine loves you more than they love me"

"They will" Pablo said with confidence "I know it, like I said they just need time, preciosa" He kissed your cheek several times making you smile softly "That's the smile I love so much" You smiled looking into his brown warm eyes "And even if they don't like you, I do. You're my girlfriend and I love you"

"You're not helping me, amor" You laugh softly

"I'm just saying, nothing and no one will stop me from being with you. I love you, you're my girlfriend and that's all that matters for me"

You looked at him for a few minutes before kissing him softly "I love you" You say making him smile, you kiss him once again "I'm gonna take a shower"

"Funny thing... so was I"

"Yes, Pablo. You can shower with me" You say and he yelped in happiness running to meet up with you to the stairs

"El último en llegar hace la cena" (The one who comes last will do dinner) He said running past you but not before giving your bum a slap

"¡Pablo Martín!" You squealed before running behind him to return the slap, both of you laughing

*** One Month Later ***

"Fuck!" You yelled with tears in your eyes. The one match you miss going to, it's the match where your boyfriend was injured.

You had just gotten out of a final exam, when you decided to see the match statistics, only to see the words "Gavi comes out of the pitch injured, Fermín is subbed in"

It was minute 68, so you decided to go to Montjuic and see him. You picked your car up and drove to the stadium.

Guards already knew who you were so they let you in, you tried your best to not run towards the dressing rooms but it was impossible. You knocked on the door and heard a groan before a small "come in" came through

"Cariño" You almost cried watching your boyfriend laid on a bed as medics worked in his ankle

"Hola mi amor" He smiled softly as you walked to be next to him and hugged him softly, his hands around your waist, yours around his shoulders, his head buried in between your breasts and your lips on top of his brown sweaty hair.

His hold on you tightened when the doctors applied pression on it as they put a bandage on him

"How is it?" You ask after a few minutes

"He has a sprain, it's not severe but it does need a time off to heal properly"

"How much?" Gavi asked

"About three to four weeks" The doctors said "Do your best to just rest, avoid activities that can cause pain, swelling or discomfort. Use an Ice pack for about 15 to 20 minutes and repeat every two to three hours while you're awake, it helps a lot and also compress the ankle with a bandage, tightly but not enough to hinder circulation" They smile lightly "If the pain's too much you can also take some ibuprofen or acetaminophen"

"Thank you so much" you said as he smiles softly at you

"Let me get you some crutches, you'll have to walk with those for a while and then you're able to go" He said leaving you and Gavi alone

"You didn't have to come all this way, amor"

"Stop talking nonsense" You shook your head "Of course I have to" You said grabbing his hand "My boyfriend's injured how could I not come to see him?" he smiled softly "You heard the doctor" You said for you two, he nods “I... Do you need help at home once you get out of here?” You wonder “I could help you? Or, maybe you can.. I don’t know-”  

"That would be lovely" You smile softly as he accepts he needs help. You brush the hair that's stick to his forehead thanks to his sweat "But I don't want to be a bother"

"If it was me the one injured, would you think I'm a bother?" He quickly shook his head

"I wouldn't"

"Well, I don't think that either" You kissed his dirty cheek "It's time for you to rest, amor"

"What did I do to deserve you?" You blush smiling, he mirrors your smile, his hand going to the side of your face and pulling you into him for a kiss.

"Come on, guapo. It's time to go home and rest"

°°° °°°

"My family is coming to see me" You stopped in your tracks and looked at Pablo

"That's nice to hear, amor"

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable" He said before taking a spoonfull of soup

"I can't do anything if they don't like me, sadly" You sighed "But I'm here for you, because I care about you and I love you" You said "and unless you don't want me here, I won't leave you" You looked at him only to see him smiling down at you "What?" You ask laughing

He shakes his head "I'm just way to lucky to have you"

His parents and sister may not like you but for you it only matters that he did. And he does like you a lot.

You blushed at his comment "Come on, soup's getting cold"

"Won't you eat with me?"

"I have to clean this up first"

"Leave it and come eat with me, please" He pouted ever so lightly but you fell for it

Without saying anything, you grabbed a bowl and served yourself some soup and as you were about to sit the bell ringed

"Where you waiting for someone?" you ask Pablo while he shakes his head. You open the door to reveal the Páez Gavira family "Hi!"

"Hello" Pablo's dad said with a small smile "Is Gavi here?" You nod opening the door to let them inside

"¿Qué tal están ustedes?" (How are you?) You ask

"We're good, thanks" Aurora says with a small smile "Where's my brother?"

"How's he?" Belén asks

"He's doing good, he's eating right now" You didn't even got to finish the sentence when they were already on their way leaving you with Pablo.

"How are you, dear?" He asks and you nod softly

"I'm doing well, sir. Thank you" He nods smiling "Do you want me to help with the luggage?"

"I have it handled, hija. Thank you tho" You nod watching the man walk to the stairs

"¿Por qué esto está tan sucio?" (why is this so dirty?) You cursed lightly and walked to the kitchen watching how Belén judged the counter

"I just finished making lunch, I was about to clean it up"

"And why didn't you?"

"Because I was going to eat first?" She made a sound before leaving the kitchen, Aurora behind her. You sighed softly, grabbing your bowl of soup and throwing it away

"Amor"

"I'm not hungry" You said before starting to clean up

"Pablo, hijo. You better not be sleeping in the second floor!"

"I'm not, mamá. We are sleeping in this guest room"

"That's great! I'll be sleeping with you today to check if you need anything"

"But Y/N's-" Gavi went to speak but you cut him off

"It's okay" You say "I can sleep in the guest room that's upstairs"

"I already settled Aurora's thing there" Pablo said as you nod

"I'll sleep on the couch then, it's fine" You laughed softly

It wasn't fine. You slept only with a small blanket covering your cold body. You had no pillow since most of them were taken by Gavi to elevate his foot, Belén refused to take one away from him and you nodded agreeing with her.

But your back and your neck weren't pleased.

"How are you, mi vida?" You nod at Gavi's question with a small smile

"How about you?"

"I'm asking for you, Y/N"

"I'm fine, amor" You kiss his lips softly trying to forget about the pain on your back, you undo the bandage before pressing the ice pack to him "20 minutes" You started the chronometer "I'll do breakfast, call me if anything, okay?" You say as he nods

You started making some tortillas and coffee, when Belén came into the kitchen

"Buenos dias" She said with a smile

"Buen dia" You replied to her softly "Coffee's done, I'm doing some tortillas, Pablito is in the couch with the ice pack"

"Yes, I just saw that" She replied "He told me you were here" You nod not knowing what to say "We're sorry" She said as you stop what you were doing

"Pardon?"

"We weren't treating you in the best way and we're sorry about that" She said and you look at her

"It's okay, miss"

"No, it isn't" She cut you off "We're just so worried about who comes into his life, he seems like a though guy but he's so shy and sentimental. We don't want anyone, mostly girls, coming up to him, only to use him for fame and money and then leaving him alone and suffering. We're always nervous and suspicious about who he hangs out with. But you're not like that and I'm sorry if we made you have a tough time. We judged you before we even got to know you completely"

You nod smiling "I understand, miss. But I love Pablo for who he is, not for what he has. He's it for me, at his highest and at his lowest, I'll always be here for him"

"And he for you, I'm sure of that" She smiles "I'm sorry" you shake your head

"No worries, miss"

"It's Belén, miss makes me feel old" You laugh softly "Can I hug you?" You nod and she embraces you in a tight hug "Do you need some help?" You shake your head

"I often make Gavi wash the dishes but I'll do that after this is done"

"Nonsense. I'm helping you with it right now!"

"I'm happy to see my two girls getting along" Pablo said

"Stick your mind in that ice pack, Gavira and stop being nosey!" You reply

"¡Te quiero!" You smile looking over at him

"What do you want?"

"Can you please put some ketchup on mine?"

"Where's the please?" Belén asked

"Please?" you laugh softly

"Only because you're guapo and injured"

"If I get baby treatment from you while being injured, then I'll need to be injured all the time"

"Can you stop speaking nonsense?" Belén asked "I'm sure Y/N babies you all the time"

"Yes, she does but I want more! Can you blame me? I love her!"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela

#gadriezmannsgirl is writing #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi #gavi #gavi x reader #pablo gavi blurb #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi imagine #gavi blurb #gavi icons #gavi imagine #pablo gavi one shot #gavi one shot #fc barcelona

[hyperfixated-archivist]

Here’s some crack fics I wrote a month ago that haunt my restless dreams. Behold.

———

The archive is on fire

this bothers nobody.

the tape recorder is on, rolling like proud Mary. 

”Martin came into work today, fucking hate that man. Wish he would die. I’m such a good boss”

the door opens, and in comes Martin Crackhorn. “Sup you sexy snake, want some leaf juice?” “Fuck off you bastard, I’m reading about the mentally Ill.”

martin blushes. 

Tim bursts through the wall like the kill aid man, dressed head to dog in mr bonzo merch. And lingerie, but no one cares about that—there are more pressing matters. 

“I solved the arg mother fuckers, here’s my girlfriend.” Alice hand drier walked in on the ceiling, because trans people don’t like physics or any of its motives. “Wassup bitches, gimme a twenty.” 

“Why?” Sasha asks, crawling out from her desk chewing a table. “Because I’m so sexy that’s why.” 

They all nod in agreement. 

“Welp,” Elias says, notifying to everyone that he was still there with a slap of his 200 hundred year old knees. “I’m getting another divorce today, can’t stick around.” 

“Leave my dad alone!” Martin and Tim say, glaring at each other before Martin stabs Tim in the elbow. “They! That was new!!” 

Jon sighs. “I wish mr spider had just eaten me instead of billy wheeler.” 

“Womp womp” says nikola, taking his ear and chewing it like Tabasco. 

“I hate this life.” Gerry says, “make out with me,” says the sexy yellow door. 

“No thanks, I’m a book, we will never work.” Micheal runs away crying. 

“what did you just say to my grandson?” Gertrude has risen from the dead. “I think you’re confused gramma.” “No, I’m Gertrude.”

Eric is in the corner putting his eyes back in, but they’re backwards and he is horrified by the sight of his own Brian.

”marry me Juliet,” says Martin to his emotionally constipated boss. “No! I’m busy.” He picks up the binoculars and looks at Tim who is sat two feet from him on Alice’s lap. 

“Omg that’s so gay.” Alice is weeping openly now. 

Peter walks in, the room goes misty. 

“There you are, my prized little problem.” 

“Dad!” Elias gets a weird look, but no one follows up on it because Tim is missing both his girlfriend and his knees. 

Peter dips out after punching Jon in the emotions.

”I can see it all.” Jon gets punched by Daisy, who immediately smooches bassira on the forehead before jumping into the coffin. 

“Well,” “shit,” Berlin and Hoop are pale and normal looking, pay no attention to the zippers on their necks.

”it’s time to d-d-d-duel!” Mary has been skinned. Everyone ignores her. As they should. 

“Well,” Martin wants to say he didn’t see this coming, but he did. “I’m going to marry you.” 

“Oh word?” Jon and Martin have a wedding in spring. It is delightful, no one dies, and the priest is just happy to be free from the meaty clutch. 

Jared hopworth is the flower girl. It does not end well. 

The eyepocolypse is avoided, but Daisy still does because it’s what she deserves. 

Elias gets killed by jurgen lightener, who immediately dies of Ligma. 

All is well, except for Tim. He is suffering. 

Click.

———

Heavy metal blasts from her mouth.

”wassup twot, where’s the cheese?” Mary sighed. “We ‘ave non.” “Bullshit, give me the cheese before I ceaseless watcher you.” 

Mary visibly tenses. She pulls out an uno reverse. 

Gertrude eats it.

”Dearly beloved, get wrecked.” Gertrude does a backflip.

”I want your lungs.” “No, that’s gay.” 

The crusty dusty old bitches fight. Gertrude wins, the absolute girlboss.

Micheal comes out from Gerry’s room, no one ask why. 

“Oh no!” Gertrude’s eyebrows run away. “The consequences of my actions!” 

“I’m going to kill you.” 

“Nuh uh.” 

.

.

.

a gunshot rings out. 

Gerry is an orphan, Mary is still alive, Micheal is single, and Gertrude is secretly John Cena, hence why the eye couldn’t see her.

”if you don’t like my killer attitude—“

Eric bursts in. “You’re cheating on me?!” 

“What? No?” Gertrude is a confused old lady. 

“Not you— her.” “Oh, yes. She’s a lying scumbag.” 

Eric gets the rusty shears, but trips and dies. Not on the shears, but from embarrassment and testicular blueness. 

“Gerry wants to die.” No one knows who said it, but it’s very true. 

So he does.

momstermf enermguy. Bag for lumgs.

”I want to marry you so that we can divorce.” “Alright Elias, calm your saggy tits.” 

No one is happy, and Micheal is still a door. 

“Don’t @ me.” Gertrude is dead now, and all is at peace.

———

Martin was hungy. Tim owned a pet gorldfish. 

Can I make it anymore obvious?

”Martini, you absolute gay barnacle, have you seen my fish Charles-Jevil—“

Marin is choking on the fish. Greedy bastard.

Jon is crying in disappointment and also because of his severe and chronic lack of parents. 

Sasha is dead. No one knows why.

Tim has a gun, and breaks through a wall just to walk back in through the front door.

Will wood is blasting from every device, electronic and not. 

It’s just Red Moon. Again, and again. 

Elias walks in, hears will wood, and because he is a homophobe he immediately dies. 

Agnes would have come, but she was on a date with her boyfriend because they deserve happiness and they get it. 

Tim has been c4’d by Martin. The audience cheers, then weeps until the archive is flooded.

”My paper-work!” “Jon you fucking neek, no one cares about the fucking boxes you foolish bitch!!”

Jon is having a panic attack, and the water has eaten his shoes.

Tim has forgotten his anger, and since he is a ghost, he can get his pet fish back from Hades, Orpheus style. 

Spoiler, he looked back. She died.

#tma #the magnus archives #crack post #crack fic #jon sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #not sasha #alice dyer #gertrude robinson #Mary Keay #gerry keay #eric delano #agnes montague #elias bouchard #peter lukas #i am ashamed #i am cringe but i am free #nikola orsinov

[madstronaut]

prepareth thineselves for another doozy of a ramblecommentating

obligatory alphalist link:

the pining. THE MOTHERFUCKING PINING IN THIS STORY is enough to power a standard size nuclear plant imo and madstronaut is here to do her civic duty as a staunch supporter of the environment and fighting fossil fuels, yes, truly the main reason i read smutty/yearny fic-

Reading: Christian Woman by @kneelingshadowsalome

“You don’t know how it even happened, but you became friends with a foreign man visiting your city.” 

this is basically reverse tinder iykyk

“You feel warm and safe with him, lost inside a soft bubble you quickly create in the corner table of a cellar cafe.”

 this very aptly desscribes how this story makes me feel. i cried the first time i read it through fully; just made me feel so many emotions 🥹🥹🥹

Perhaps it’s the dimly lit environment or perhaps it’s just him, but you have one of the deepest conversations ever with this mysterious man.

i hope everyone experiences the happy accident of a spontaneous deep conversation with a stranger - feels like God/the universe just gifting you a random act of kindness

“Well… I don’t do twerking, but yes, nuns are allowed to dance.” girl you about to do a lot more than that very soon 

You can see he hasn’t skipped a leg day either, and immediately chastise yourself for checking out his butt in the coffee queue.

*when God sings with his creations, will not König's ass be part of the choir*

You know it’s an attempt to make you forgive his choice of career when he reveals to you that his best mission was when he saved thirty women from sex trafficking. And it does make your heart crack open a little.

just speaking personally quite a heady experience to have someone attempt to better themselves for you but way too easy for this dynamic go from sexy/flattering to emotionally off-kilter - how does the phrase go? with great pus-power comes great responsibility

Actually, you catch him looking at your breasts, scanning your body and cherishing the tender spot between your collarbones more times than you can count. They’re quick, stolen moments, so harmless that you choose to stay quiet.

🥰🥺🥰🥺

He listens to your every word with a softening glow in his eyes, a shimmer that spreads across the table and makes you feel warm all over. fucking LOVE THIS LINE

König always softens in your presence... You always tense up in his. 

Your face is flushed, and you blame it on the overcrowded cafe. You feel both safe and in danger with him, and it must be the virgin inside you talking.

this is such a great description of how a good ole crush feels - “you feel both safe and in danger with him”

 It’s bubbly and lively and colourful, just like your friend; it’s the opposite of König, the special operations soldier who’s dark, intriguing, and intimate, just like the dimly lit cellar cafe you meet him in secret.

total sidenote but since I was just recently there - you wanna talk bright bubbly cafe next to dim cellar cafe - bedford cheese shop next to irving farm coffeeshop on irving place off union square in nyc fits these descriptions exactly lol

"Soldiers are crazy. I once dated this peacekeeper,” your friend continues in her usual chirpy way.

why did the following description make me think of john cena peacemaker, who does indeed own a fleshlight in the show 😂😂😂

And at times, hearing about all the things your friend has gone through, being an onlooker to all that heartbreak and pining and loss, has managed to strengthe your resolve. a whole moooooood

“No, seriously. We’re talking about fistfights and broken bones. Dating apps would explode. People would get killed.”

we all need a friend like this 😂

 If anything, you’re scared of men, and you loathe the dating world. You’re put off by shallow commitments and one-night stands and getting ghosted and God knows what else.

omg it me????

You always told your friend that Jesus Christ is the most stable man you’ve ever met, and you will stick with him.

recalling all those worship songs nicknamed “Jesus is my boyfriend” songs in youth group growing up😂😂😂😂

“Stable? Excuse me, but didn’t he start a riot or something at the temple? Are we talking about the same dude who lead an uprising against the Romans? Hung out with whores, raised corpses from the dead, fucked around and found out until someone nailed him at the cross? Stable my ass!”

I want to banghang out with this Jesus tbh amigoingtohellfortypingthatmaybesavemeJesus😉

Your friend's enthusiastic grin turns into an uneasy, pitying smile when she realises how deep into this man you actually are. 

i knew she was a goner when she started talking about his hands

If you're chosen by God, your friend is chosen by the Devil, that's for sure. like i said WE ALL NEED A FRIEND LIKE THIS 😂

There’s no chaos and no guns and no tall men with big dicks, no Austrian war criminals trying to seduce you and then discard you after their deployment ends. 

There’s only a man with a kind smile, warm eyes, and a nice, husky laugh. Some good coffee with distant notes of chocolate and perfectly civil conversations about European philosophers and the crisis of modern thought. 

WHY NOT BOTH?

Sturdy walls support you; they have held you for centuries, and the crucifix above you has given hope to so many people before you. The ever-safe embrace of your faith envelops you, and you can always trust that you are loved, even when you’re flawed and incomplete. 

Even with indecent thoughts, you can pray for mercy and ask for forgiveness. Even if you have impure urges towards your Austrian mercenary, you can still pray for him... It’s the least you can do to repay the kindness he has given you.

i appreciate how fleshed out our nun reader is <3 i found myself in a weird limbo of wanting her to remain true to herself while still navigating her faith (as someone also on a post(idk tbh?)-faith journey i find her spiritual self-wrestling very relatable and familiar)

You don’t want to draw the Lord’s attention to you while your hand travels down beneath the sheets, your thoughts wandering to a certain god-like soldier with eyes like burning ice.

probs goin to hell for this (but im on tumblr so im already here??? lmao) but S i r if u invented the whole concept u can at least watch and give me pointers/tips

And that’s ok - physical touch like that is ok. Holding hands is not.

truly the absolute dirtiest sluttiest thing you can do fr fr let me say it once again with my whole chest 👏HOLDING👏HANDS👏IS👏FOR👏 SLUTSSSSSS👏 (it's me, the slut, im the slut)

It finds you in silence, envelops your tiny palm completely, squeezes you softly and emanates so much heat that a cord of fire shoots across your arm and straight into your heart. 

i remember my first innocent hand holdings/cheek kisses and they felt EXACTLY like this, reading this felt like salome went digging into my brainfolds and pulled the sensations out and put them in writing 🤯

The only thing you ever craved for was another slice of cake. omg nun reader your innocence is adorable all the better when watching it break

“I’m sure you’ll find some other girl to… hold hands with,” you say, hating how bitter and self-pitying you sound. holy self-sabotage, batman - NUNREADER DONT DO THISSSSS

“I’m sorry too,” he laments, but the corner of his mouth curves slightly up. “So sorry you wouldn’t even believe…”  excuse me while i mop myself off the floor; melted right off my chair

You wonder if he’d pay you a visit if you told him where you sleep. You wonder if your single bed would creak if he tried to make love to you on it... You wonder if you could muffle your cries when you clenched with him inside you. If he’d groan too loudly when he reached his peak…

nun reader can i interest you in an alternate, similarly unpaid career trajectory of…*drumroll* SMUTTY FIC WRITING???? pls i will send u an ao3 invite and comment on every 5th syllable of your stories and be your 2nd-biggest personal hypebae (first one being her own bff who would be over the moon ofc)

The back door is always open too because some of the nuns are smokers.

im deeefinitely picturing nun!aubrey plaza from the little hours below

“Of course not. I will pray for you every day,” you smile with a good amount of affection. It has the same effect as saying something like “I want to blow you right here on this street” because your Austrian giant gets visibly excited. spit my fuckin tea out at this, fucking hilarious

the giant soldier who now carries a piece of your heart with him. You wonder if he even knows he owns it. 🥺🥺🥺reminds me of old crushes/lovers who broke my heart. did u know how much you held when you had a piece of it? steadfastly not thinking of the ones i broke too🤪

The morning prayers and mass are a chore and bring you no comfort, and the usual dawn bliss is gone.

i have often heard it said both in a spiritual and practical context that when your peace leaves a place, you should pay attention and leave with it and it’s still a very relevant and wise piece of advice imho

But at the same time, you know it must’ve been the Lord who brought you together. There must be a reason for God to make you two meet, you refuse to think it’s only because He wishes to tempt you. There must be a bigger plan; the connection, as sinful and carnal as it is, has to serve some higher purpose. 

tw for churchish talk so pls skip if its not your cup of tea but without getting into all the fucked up stuff that is the monstrosity of evangelical churchianity, personally speaking one of the earliest places (and most constant sources) i learned about self-worth and compassion and love and extending it to myself and others was through people of faith (i know this might be ironic/offensive to some because believe me i have also been there in being traumatized/antagonized by ppl of faith as well but trying my best to hold all our different experiences and perspectives in hand to be able to see listen and understand the good the bad and grey and everything in between in a nuanced way, anyway story of my life); i wish i could offer similar encouragement i heard to nunreader - omg, can we instead focus on the verses/stuff in bible like Christ coming to set us free, not keep us chained to laws, God is love, loving God and others are apparently the two most important things in the faith and everything else rests on these two, also there is a shitttttton of smut in the bible coughsong of songs, the book no one ever preaches aboutcough and also i dont think the supposed inventor of sex hates sex, anyway ending my shittylittle fauxsermon/rant here but end of tw, back to the fic~

And you wonder if you’re going mad, because your most sinful thought is that you actually see God in him. i know reader is deep in the cups of churchthought but this is honestly one of the most beautiful things ive read; i want to (and imho i do) ‘see God’ - see something divine, beautiful wondrous heavenly full of love and joy and peace and gentleness and kindness and all that other stuff from that galatians bit i dont recall now- in the people I love too

You decide to hold on to this thought: that you were meant to meet so that you could come to know God through each other. cough once again trawling through some old memories resurfacing from my churchish days but apparently one of the meanings of the original hebrew word for to know in the bible also meant to have sex with, i am 1000% serious👀👀👀

You wear your everyday clothes to the café, and König says nothing about your sudden moral choice, only gives you another longing, enamored once-over.

recalling an old convo with a guyfriend when we were discussing/joking about modesty and clothing and i joked that the ultimate level was a nun habit/outfit - in complete seriousness though he turned to me and said to a man in lust/love, the right woman has nothing she could wear that wouldn’t tempt him - including a nun outfit - and ive never forgotten what he said lol. I joked about ankles sticking out and then of course we dove into a deep discussion on the existential nature of feet fetishes. in hindsight, apologies to anyone nearby we may have traumatized/offended that june afternoon in washington square park

You hate it that the bright, playful air of your meetings is gone, and your heart is tearing itself apart in your chest because the only thing you wanted was to spread joy into his world. Even the Lord seems disappointed in you being so cold-hearted, and you can’t bear to see His sadness and suffering in König’s eyes.

all he has to do is sneak inside your heart and take the place that belongs to God. You don’t even feel the difference as he makes himself at home. 

Well, actually, you do... It’s like your Christ’s love and mercy have finally come to flesh and blood before you. They're materialized in the man sitting opposite of you, bouncing his knee excitedly and grinning like the most innocent little devil on Earth. 

peak yearning right here. also i think salome captures thoughtprocess of nunreader so well in her eventually assauging her Intense Catholic Guilt™️ by basically equating König to Jesus/God, the only man nuns are allowed to simp for (if anyone is offended by the near-constant blasphemous shit in this post - tbh my whole blog - pls say a prayer for me lol)

“I–I can’t just escape from the window.” my SISTER in CHRIST, you just gave away your whole escape plan LMAO

But everything feels so right that it can’t be a sin – if it is, it just so happens to be the most natural, most divine thing to do too.

nunreader i am cheering you on with little party hats and confetti bombs in spirit-

Everything’s so tight and earthly; everything’s so… there. Visible... Touchable.

very into how nunreader is feeling herself here. yes my queen get ready to fucking get ittttttt

And König has seen you without makeup all this time, so what on earth has possessed you to lament the fact that you don’t own a single case of lipstick? You’d kill for a few sweeps of mascara, too, just to bat your lashes at a silly man.

i am restraining the urge to dive into the screen into this story with my makeup kit to Give Reader A Mini-Makeover (i fucking LOVE those scenes in stories/shows/movies and also for me makeup is art and the canvas is my face/body and i enjoy perfecting my art on the daily- totally forget over the pandemic how much i enjoyed putting on makeup before going to work)

“Here, kitty, kitty…” why is this extremely goofy and sexy at the same time? peak König vibes tbh

Whenever you’re with your sisters, the feeling is pure, pristine love, not a surge of complex emotions and thrill like it is with König.

why not both, my sister, why not both? something something love is a many splendored thing - shakespeare probably

You walk the streets with a flower in one hand and his palm in the other. this is the cutest fucking thing ive ever read so far i am biting my pillow to shreds~ also König handfeeding strawberries to sis at the restaurant?? someone call 911 for public indecency???? hot damn and you were worried bout HOLDING HANDS???

He's nervous, too... Your cruel soldier is nervous, and kind, and shy because he's pressed against you. every girls dream 🥰🥰🥰

instantly getting hard from a first kiss does feel very könig-coded, do not @ me

You hear whistles and whoos in the distance, some men yelling, “Let’s go!” and “Get a room” while they pass by. not me also joining in-

The world revolves like it always has, as you choose a crucified man over the one who’s flesh and blood and holds you through your pain. not me getting together a petition.org straight to Jesus to cut our sister some slack-

“The world tests us in many ways... But Lord never tests us. He only loves us.”

on this note i remember being briefly fascinated by nuns/priests as a young madstronaut - mostly fascinated by these women living sans men in such a male-dominated world/space and foregoing sex/marriage (anyway little did i know of religious patriarchy and such then) but knowing what i know now, that under all the collars and habits and wimples are still regular people/human beings - i wonder how many IRL Christian Women fics are being lived out right now somewhere 👀coughBEFREEMYSISTERScough 

He just now crossed your mind when you remember how he used to smell: of salty seabreeze mixed with intoxicating musk, the scent of excitement and safety all in one.

smellsandbells are my bread butter and jam! research has also shown the sense of smell is strongly linked with memory too and i can attest to this

The tallest man you’ve ever seen steps out from the dark in full combat gear, and while you can’t see his face because it’s covered with a draping black hood, you recognize it’s him simply from the way he moves. 

do not resist dear sister, no one can when COD men deck themselves out in full gear, its simply not physically spiritually mentally emotionally chemically possible, cold scientific fact, biblical gospel, incontrovertible truth, in this annotated research paper i will-

You must look like a frightened deer because König mistakes your horrified look as sweet, simple concern.

“Don’t worry... They have it much worse, I assure you,” he says with his usual grin – you can hear it from the way he says it that he’s smiling. okay König fucking would say something like this lmao READ THE ROOM SIR but also sister has it d o w n  b a d if shes able to recognize him just by the way he moves and “hear him smiling” iykyk

So when he asks you if there are any motels or a bed & breakfast nearby, you say you know just the place. sir i see right through your schemes and i am giving my 100% certified stamp of approval tbh i wouldn’t have even put it past him in this fic if he stabbed himself in a nonlethal area so sister can see some skin without ICG in teh way (Intense Catholic Guilt™️)

You suppose this is what your friend calls a happy trail... 

And it does make you very happy. 

you and me both sister, you and me both

“Pay no mind to that,” he says thickly and completely without shame. “ pay no mind? my brother in christ you are giving free handouts (trying not to let my brain rot away thinking of double entendres here)

“I wrote to you, Braut Christi... Many times. Never sent the letters… They’re still in my room, at the base.” sir sir if i can guess at the contents of some (most?) of these letters…may I ALSO interest you in an alternate albeit unpaid career trajectory of smutty fic writing-

You wonder if hearts can find each other, even through a distance, and if you’ve felt the urge to go to the flower he gave you at the same time König has gotten the desire to write another letter to you. It’s bittersweet, like this whole thing between you two, the mystery that both brings you together and rips you apart. 

damn this is peak writing right here. this rivals published writing ive read, all my standing ovations, slow claps, and hats off to you salome~ i go through tons and tons of fic in hopes to read sentences like these and stories like yours ❤️❤️❤️honestly their whole exchange with sis kneeling by him as he falls asleep is peak yearning/tenderness 

also nunreader’s “why exactly does König like me so much, is it because of any other possible reason other than myself” is peak relatability - once again restraining myself from grabbing reader through the screen and giving them white-board scrawled peptalks breaking down why they are amazing and worthy

He must be getting better if he’s behaving like this... The man’s insufferable enough when he’s uninjured, but now that he’s getting pampered, he’s somehow even worse. 😂😂😂 sis finally gettin the memo

Your only summer dress resides at your parent’s house as a relic from the past, a token from your life before sisterhood. this is true, i recall reading that once someone enters the convent/monastery they basically get given one nun/priest outfit and like maybe a backup one when the main one gets washed? my new yorker fashionloving ass could never

 “No, I’m not. I’m just some woman you bumped into in the street.”

“That’s exactly what an angel would say.”

😂😂😂

You sigh: it’s useless with König, hopeless, like trying to wrestle with God. No matter what you say or do, he always turns it against you in the sweetest possible way. as someone with the near-useless superpower of getting weird inside baseball bible/sunday school/youth group jokes/references however vague in modern lit/culture when they appear i appreciate the “wrestle with God” reference, peak research vibes

also the last line here really smacks of the nicer interpretation of what the abbess told sis: “God doesn’t test us, he loves us” <3

 There’s nothing sexual about it, so why not?

she says “aint nothin sexual bout lyin in a bed, the primary location where people usually have sex, with an almost nude man who is horny/erect 95% of the time he is around you, alone, in what i can only describe as a an ideal small town honeymoon suite while it is moodily raining outside” my sister in christ, do you recall lying (yes even to yourself) is a s i n

also i have never been catholic but hot damn i was also blushing and did think König is fucking s h a m e l e s s reading about him feeling up sis STILL IN HER HABIT 😂

He’s ever so grateful for his saving angel, who he gets to cuddle “as a reward”. You don’t quite know if it's a reward for you or him.

once again my sister in christ w h y n o t b o t h (also im deliriously pleased i can use sister in christ with multi-layered meanings here)

“Perhaps we’ll stay there... Forget all this,” he chatters lazily, clearly in the same sweet bubble as you. ive always found it so sweet and vulnerable and tender hearing bfs/guys muse and daydream about a future together 🥰🥰 just hits different when boys do it, and openly too

 the last of your armour, your pride and shame and vows, drift away like they were made of nothing but simple steam. 

But there’s nothing to hold on to but him, so you anchor yourself in the dark hunger of his eyes.

That’s all the reply you get: a pleased, filthy stare of someone who’s about to wreck you up.

“Come here,” he says while you’re already locked in an inseparable embrace.

*chefs kiss* these lines are perfection

You start to cry in full, not even knowing why. You just know you’ve wanted this for ages. This connection, this ecstasy, this mutual presence and fulfilment, this sense of belonging to someone. 

*nodding along sagely* yes cathartic cries are the best cries

your pussy wakes up after recovering from the initial shock… For some reason, it is vital for you not to let the old receptionist know that a humble sister of Christ is getting licked to ruin in his establishment. 

HAHAHA SALOME OMFG ABSOLUTELY SCREECHED READING THIS

You’re going through several stages of ego death and bliss; you’re going through a crisis of faith and multiple rebirths while König is having a field day with your pussy. Honestly completely normal reaction imho

All thoughts of What if he doesn’t enjoy it evaporate when you see the demanding erection between his legs, pointing at you so viciously that you feel pity for the fabric of his pants.

fics that have genital personification have a special place in my heart. also i did not expect to write such a sentence today or in my life but here i am, thank you tumblr

You’re not wearing any bra; you stopped wearing them years ago as useless and immoral. ok hold up one moment why are bras immoral lol girl unless you are small enough to join the free the nip movement without penalities a good support system is vital!!!

“You naughty girl…” he says thickly.

tbh in context of entire fic König calling sis a naughty girl is probably the hottest thing he’s said…sir where did u get all this rizz

“Want to see what I got?”

…forget what I said about the rizz, this is the fucking goofiest follow-up he could say 😂😂😂 salome has König vibes down pat

You’re mesmerized to see him already tensing from the chest up, the tendons on his neck becoming visible as he grits his teeth together. 🥰🥰🥰 an absolute vision

It's riddled with chants of Put it in and Forget about the bloody plastic because even with your zero experience you know it wouldn't feel as good as skin *me, reading, also joining in the chant*

The room must be smelling like a sex cave by now. protip: make sure the smell is gone if you have guests coming over

It makes you smile; him being so happy with simple things such as good food and some kinky sex, a nice cuddle and a nap to top it off. giggling at nunreader thinking humping is kinky UGH WHY ARE YOU SO SWEET AND ADORABLE i just want to take you on a shopping and makeup spree and introduce you to things like bubble tea, dry shampoo, glossier merch, weekend farmer's markets at union square, the hot barista/server at veselka's-

“This is what I call liking someone so much it hurts.” 🥺🥺🥺 couldnt seduce a woman if he tried my ass

König learns your body language; he knows it like a native speaker by the end of the week. EAT YOUR HEART OUT DUOLINGO (please dont kill me i'll fix my streak i promise)

König only smiles on the bed while you treat him; it’s like his master plan finally worked. I FUCKIN CALLED IT

“I would never hurt you….and no one ever will.” their whole conversation here is one of my favorite scenes in the whole story.

Without mentioning König or what you’ve been up to lately, you simply tell her you’ve decided to move on with your life. yes, i am one of those plebs who clap when the plane lands, but for dramatic turning points in fanfic

You receive lots of well wishes, hugs, even tears when you tell others you’re leaving. Embarrassed that you almost got rid of your robes and sneaked out to another secret lover’s meeting without even saying farewell, you meet everyone with full presence until you find yourself crying too. 

i love a fic that has lore and a bit of worldbuilding so well-built that you want to look around corners and peek into windows and doorways about what else there is - i found myself wondering about sister’s relationships here with the other nuns - but also loved that last phrase of reader finally feeling whole, “meeting everyone with full presence” after feeling so fractured and divided the first half of the story 👏👏👏we love a good full circle fic 👏👏👏

No wonder men die younger – you’d have to tie this specimen to a sturdy lamp post if you wanted him to stay put... i too think this everytime i see some dumb bullshit, mostly on @drunkpeopledoingthings

“Well, you’ve seen me,” you extend your hands to your sides, knowing you’ve already lost. “You can go back now.” there's something just very delicious watching someone fight a losing battle

desire pools, brims, until you feel like you can’t breathe anymore. loooooooove this phrasing

This must be one of the craziest things you’ve done in your life says reader, of having sex for the first time, a near universal experience

To you, he’s all men in one, the sheer mass of him making your thighs tremble from want. 🥰🥰🥰reader in love is so poetic <3

also yes squeaky beds are my kink, ty for including salome 🥰🥰🥰

also sis describing her pussy “hugging” dick has got to be the fluffiest smut ive ever read🥰🥰🥰

Ten times more powerful than the most blissful experiences with your God, you want to come here for worship again and again, to have his body entangled with yours. ah yes to know König is to know God indeed 😏😏😏😏😏

When done, he sinks half his weight on you, thoroughly spent, and you feel fulfilled, some deep-seated joy taking hold of everything that once was hollow. Curiously, all shame is absent. 🥹🥹🥹 i love this line so much. i hope everyone is able to experience this, especially if you like me have had some religious purity culture trauma in your life - there is no shame in love <3

The happiness, the pure joy in his eyes, is heartbreaking. At that moment, you know that all his silly jokes, follies, and babbles about taking you to the mountains and whisking you away have been real. They have been true, honest wishes... There is no lie in him, no jest, no fakeness. Just pure, simple joy from hearing that you finally chose him, too. 🥹🥹🥹

The old man doesn’t even care to look surprised when he sees you clothed in jeans and a simple shirt this time, smiling as you rush upstairs, hand in hand with König. okay but shoutout to this dude, you a real one for being the best unintentional wingman this side of europe

You can’t wait to sleep with him tonight: simply sleep with him, finally, curl up together in safety, do the most basic thing all lovers do. You can’t wait to wake up to a fresh dawn together, lovely, curious, and new. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

You take new vows: promising to yourself to live each day fully and bravely, and never again shut your heart. 

The only thing left of you on your old bed is your black and white robe, and on it, a crucifix and a rose, and a note that says:

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love… But the greatest of these is love.

screaming crying i cant even explain how this fic made me feel, some mixture of joy and heartbreak and catharsis and healing all wrapped up in one as i found so many parallels both with reader and König at times and isn’t that just some of the best things about great stories, when it helps us see and feel and know and love ourselves and others in new ways we couldn’t before?

i wanted to do this absolutely lovely fic justice so ive literally been sprinkling comments on this during re-reads for months; i will close with a fitting - and catholic - quote that i love:

“There is a twilight zone in our hearts that we ourselves cannot see. Even when we know quite a lot about ourselves-our gifts and weaknesses, our ambitions and aspirations, our motives and our drives-large parts of ourselves remain in the shadow of consciousness. This is a very good thing. We will always remain partially hidden to ourselves. Other people, especially those who love us, can often see our twilight zones better than we ourselves can. The way we are seen and understood by others is different from the way we see and understand ourselves. We will never fully know the significance of our presence in the lives of our friends. That's a grace, a grace that calls us not only to humility, but to a deep trust in those who love us. It is the twilight zones of our hearts where true friendships are born.” - quote by Henri Nouwen, catholic priest

#madstrothought #FaFiCoWriMo #fanfiction #call of duty #König #Christian Woman (fic title - to avoid this going into the general tag lol) #kneelingshadowsalome #DanceofTheSevenVeils

[courtneysmovieblog]

Trailer Bowl LVIII

Fine, not all these trailers were from the Super Bowl, but they came out this past month, so might as well take care of all of them:

Immaculate: Nun gets supernaturally pregnant with a demon. Yikes.

Road House (remake): Sorry Jake Gyllenhaal, you're not Patrick Swayze.

Ricky Stanicky: Zac Efron and his buddies hire John Cena to pose as the imaginary friend they made up to get away from their wives and families for the past 20 years. Oh, this better end with one of the friends getting divorced when the jig is up, but knowing it's a Farrelly Brothers movie, I doubt it.

Monkey Man: Dev Patel gets to be a vigilante, and it looks AWESOME.

Despicable Me 4: Gru has a baby now. And we get Will Ferrell as the bad guy.

Tarot: Yup, tarot cards get a horror movie now. Makes sense.

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare: True (albeit very fictionalized) story about British spies fighting Nazis. Hey, one of them is Henry Cavill, I'm game.

A Quiet Place Day One: Prequel where everyone learns that sound=death by aliens. Somehow, it doesn't feel the same. We already KNOW what happened...

Twisters: A sequel? Really? I heard about it, but I still can't really believe it, because it seems so unnecessary.

Wicked: I don't care if it's all green screen and split in half, I'm still excited for this. And Cynthia's "Defying Gravity" riff sounds fine, you're all just mean.

Deadpool and Wolverine: Darn, I was really hoping for "Deadpool and Friends" for the Garfield reference and to rip on Pratt's Garfield. But oh well, it looks like the MCU is going to get skewered nonetheless. Happy day!

#super bowl #trailers #deadpool 3 #prequels #scary movies #remakes #wicked #deadpool and wolverine

[mxsonxmountx]

KA x pregnancy x new born

Word count: 935

Requested: Yes/No

Bold: Kepa

Italics: you

A/N: forgive me if the Spanish isn’t all correct, I used google translate.

also I combined these two together, since it would’ve been easier

 ---

This was a game that you couldn’t miss, the final game of the season. You hadn’t miss one yet and you wasn’t going to miss this one even if you was 9 months pregnant and a few days overdue. You took it very easy regardless, you told your boyfriend if it was too much that you’d go home not like you wanted too but you’d have no choice. Baby shopping with Kepa always made your heart fill so warm and made you literally so happy, he’d do anything and everything for you and his first child. Early stages of the pregnancy you both decorated they nursery in a light lavender colour with white decor, you both decided to find out the sex of the baby and when you found out it was girl you was both over the moon. The contractions started at the 87th minute, you attempted to play it cool and somehow ignore the pain but your best friend Sophia could tell different. “We need to get Kepa off, let me get help” she said to you calmly but you could tell that she was freaking out “Sophia its fine, we have 3 minutes left, we can do this, I’ll be fine. He’ll be up here soon. I can do it” you smiled through the pain trying not give yourself anymore extra worry, Sophia made sure that the area was clear for a quick escape for you to go up the hospital. “Kepa, we need to go, I’m-” before you could even finish you had another sharp pain “por qué nadie me dijo?” (Why didn’t someone tell me?) “I wanted to but y/n wanted you to finish the game” Sophia said to your boyfriend with a slight forgiving smile. “Vamos princesa, íbamos a ser una familia de tres” (lets go princess, were going to be a family of three) and with that Kepa grabbed your hand, Sophia grabbed your bags to take to kepas car.

The drive to the hospital felt like it was forever but it was only 20 minutes, “Kepa please hurry, she’s coming” “Lo estoy intentando, ya casi llegamos, carino. Te amo” (I’m trying, we’re almost there darling. I love you.) When you both got there, your sister was already there waiting to help you out of the car whilst Kepa rushed to get you a chair and to inform the reception that you are in labour. Once you got onto the bed, you had your checks done and you was ready to push. “I don’t think I can do this, it’s too much for me” “puedes hacerlo, creo en ti” (you can do it, I believe in you) and with that you gave your biggest push that you ever give and within minutes your baby girl arrived. She was beautiful, hearing your little girl cried broke Kepa more than you thought it was. “lo hiciste, lo hiciste. Ella está aquí nuestra nina” (you did it, you did it. She’s here, our little girl)

--

Weeks passed you was adjusting to the new mother hood lifestyle and Kepa was already a fantastic father, you had lunch arranged with Sophia and your sister this afternoon and Kepa was desperate to take y/d/n out shopping to get her some new clothes, not like she needed anymore but you would never say no to him when he wanted to buy baby clothes. He sent you pictures after pictures whilst you was both out, it made your heart melt on how you’ve both made such a perfect little girl. When you arrived home you could smell dinner cooking and your favourite candle burning “I’m home darling” “hola mi amor, tengo la cena cocinado, el pequeno está dormido. La noche es nuestra” (hello my love, I’ve got dinner cooking, the little one is asleep. The night is ours) “I’m going to shower quickly my heels are killing me babe” “está bien, la cena estará lista en 20 minutos, carino” (that’s fine, dinner will be ready in 20 minutes darling). You went to your bedroom first to have a look at your daughter sleeping in her Chelsea baby grow which you couldn’t help but melt at, she was so tiny, the baby grow was slightly big for her but it made her look even more cutier than she already looked. After your shower you quickly did your skin care and went back downstairs to your boyfriend, having dinner all plated up in the dining room, candles lit and your favourite glass of wine waiting. “What’s all this for?” “nada, solo lo major para mi nina” (nothing, only the best for my girl) “I love you Kepa” “te amo mucho” (I love you so much). Once you both finished dinner, you were both equally tired and both fighter off the sleep so you called it a night since you had both families coming over in the following day.

--

Your alarm didn’t go off like it normally would, instead you woke up naturally. You gently went into you daughters room to see Kepa sitting in the corner holding your daughter in his hands talking about how you first met, you didn’t want to ruin the moment but you wanted to join them badly. “Good morning darling” “beunos días, le estaba contando a neustra hija cómo conoci a mi princesa” (good morning, I was just telling our daughter how I met my princess) he gently handed her over to you for feeding time and so he can get ready for the day. Still to this day you couldn’t imagine your life without both Kepa and your little girl. 

#Kepa Arrizabalaga #kepa arrizabalaga x reader #kepa arrizabalaga smut #kepa arrizabalaga one shot #kepa arrizabalaga imagine #kepa arrizabalaga x y/n #Mxsonxmountx #kepa arrizabalaga x you #kepa insta au #kepa imagine #kepa arrizabalaga au #kepa fanfic

[scribl1ta]

Fortunata🐚❤️‍🔥

One time I was showing my Scintilla drawing (the right image above, which is from last year and still up on my blog if you want to read more abt it!!) to somebody and she said "she looks like a piece of work"😭😭😭I still like it a lot, but I'm putting it in my list of ideas to revisit now that my style and skills have changed. I ended up referencing so many Jersey shore photos and I really enjoyed pulling those inspirations together with rereading the cena and researching Roman jewelry. I believe Fortunata has an outfit change so even though I love the gold hair net, that didn’t make it into my interpretation although I tried to keep a similar color palette😖 the last thing is this corner of my sketchbook

Thank you sm for reading this far!! I might add more later idk. Happy late pride month <33

#satyricon #my art #ancient rome #fortunata #scintilla

[samijey]

Based on your last answer, do you think even after everything Sami kind of doesn't Associate Jey with the bloodline? Like separate almost, like he knows Jey doesn't want to be there? He legit felt safe enough to approach him alone in a dark corner not even entertaining the fact Jey could attack him.

It's like Roman and Sami both know Jey has one foot out the door, his heart isn't in it, he just needs the right push, hear the right thing. Sami is trying to talk to him, Roman lies, manipulates and apparently now trying to murder him. Jey is torn, I love they didn't drop this. It's still so clear, who knows what would have happened if Solo came down and got his ass back in gear. It's only a matter of time and everyone but Jey knows this.

As a reader and writer Jey is so compelling.

God anon I have so many thoughts about everything you just said... for me, the moment Jey stood up for Sami at the trial, he became... okay this is going to sound corny but bear with me, he became the shining light in Sami's life - Sami had already betrayed Kevin and likely felt so bad about it that he'd temporarily given up hope of ever making amends with his best friend.

After months and months of puting himself through constant physical pain and even worse emotional pain, always walking on eggshells because Roman would constantly test him over and over, and he was never quite sure whether a beat down was just around the corner or not, Sami had visibly had enough at that point.

I believe Paul burying him at the trial and no one saying a word to dispute his claims was the final drop for Sami and he was just about done - this is my interpretation given the fact that he did not present a defense and that when Solo went to spike him, Sami did not struggle and instead looked resigned, as if he was thinking "it was good while it lasted but deep down I knew I'd never find a place to belong." We know that's what Sami's always wanted - either as a heel or as a face, Sami's character always works the angle of wanting respect - the Bloodline provided that for him and it came with the added bonus of companionship and essentially a family that he loved.

No wonder Sami was so happy in the Bloodline for that brief period when things were good - he had respect, he had a place to belong and he had a family??? What an amazing deal!

So when it looked like all of that had crumpled to dust at the trial, that's the moment Jey stops Solo's arm and that's when everything changes and suddenly Sami has another chance and holy shit this guy he worked so hard to befriend loves him to the point of sticking out his neck for him??? For Sami Zayn, the eternal underdog? The conspiracy victim? The guy who got mocked constantly backstage by his peers? The person who had marred Roman's win/loss record with that ugly defeat on Smackdown against KO and Cena? And after he'd promised a victory too? Damn.

Like, anyone in Sami's position would have been absolutely taken with Jey in that moment, that act likely meant everything to Sami and that's a big reason why he can't stop trying to save this man who saved him at a time when he probably felt unwanted and unloved. Jey stepped up and told everyone that Sami was not only loved but also wanted in this family - the fans all putting their ones up was such a beautiful cherry on top of all this 😭😭

So yes, I'd say Sami sees Jey as "separate" from the Bloodline in some way - he very much knows Jey wants out (he can see it all over Jey's face just like we at home do!) and he keeps hoping that talking to Jey will give him the push he needs but clearly it's not working so we know something substantial is going to happen to finally make Jey snap out of it and it will be PAINFUL.

And finally, to your last point about how, as a reader and writer, Jey is so compelling? YES, I FEEL YOU! I mean, just look at the lenghts and lenghts of text I've been writing in these replies, clearly I'm not okay 😭🤧🤧

#sami zayn #jey uso #samijey #might as well tag it i guess #LONG POST #like holy shit #tl;dr: i am dying #i never meant for this to become my life but here we are #carla answers a thing

[msbigredmachine]

Watched Wrestlemania 39. My highlights:

Night 1

1. Right person won the US title match. Not a fan of Cena and probably never will be. Sorry.

2. All the guys in the men’s showcase match went off! Gosh! They all killed it, every one of them.

3. Seth versus Logan was expectedly good. Yes Logan Paul is an ass but that guy is great in the ring. Period.

4. KSI being frogplashed through a table 🤣🤣🤣

5. Outfit of the weekend. I don’t care what none of y’all say.

6. Didn’t really like the six women tag match. I just feel that Damage Ctrl need to split up now. Nothing is going their way.

7. Father and son arguably with the entrances of the weekend. Dom coming from prison and Rey in a low rider with Snoop bumping to two classic songs! 😭

8. This part had me screaming!

9. Dom splashing a drink in Aalyah’s face made me gasp! Excellent heel work by ex condom.

10. Rey winning made all the sense in the world. Months of disrespect ending in the most emphatic way possible. Dominik will be fine.

11. So glad Rhea won. Charlotte Flair is not interesting unless she has the title. The match was entertaining though. Loved it.

12. Lil Uzi Vert playing out the Usos was random, but I like Just Wanna Rock so it wasn’t an issue for me.

13. The Usos in all white is always 🔥🔥🔥. The main event twins!

14.Loved that Kevin and Sami wore matching outfits too. Sami is sooo over it’s crazy.

15. It was all fun and games till the Usos isolated Sami and started teeing off on him. Like fucking assassins. Then Sami kept kicking out and the Usos kept brutalizing him. That shit was uncomfortable.

16. Please rewatch the part where Jey put Sami in the corner and used him for target practice. The slaps, the forearms, the leaping Helluva kick, the trash talk. Jey is soooo HURT. That made me emotional.

17. The near falls were killing me! It got to a point when I stopped commenting and just kept watching because I was mesmerized. I didn’t want to miss a thing by talking.

18. The ending sequence. Cinema. Sami putting Jey away was the icing on the cake. Kevin’s face after the bell rang. The roar of the crowd. My own tears falling. Heartbroken for Jey. Elated for Sami. Unbelievable.

19. Hands down one of the best Mania main events in its 40 year history. Best tag team title match I’ve ever seen. And it did not surprise me at all, because four of the best in the world executed it to perfection.

Night 2

1. Nothing to say about Brock/Omos. Whatever.

2. Night and day between the men’s showcase match 👍🏾 and the women’s showcase match 👎🏾

3. LOOOOL Drew, Gunther and Sheamus beat the SHIT out of each other. Wowwww. The right man won. Gunther has a great aura and needs to hold that shit for a year.

4. That little girl in the middle of Bianca’s troupe lost her mother THAT DAY and still went out and killed her section. She is so so brave and I’m so happy she was still able to get that opportunity. She looked so happy despite her immense loss. My condolences to her and I hope she had the time of her life.

5. I feel bad for Asuka. L after L after L at Mania. But Bianca is a once in a lifetime athlete. Keep that belt on her for as long as possible.

6. I have ZERO sympathy for Shane McMahon. 7 years away from turning SIXTY and your ass still thinks you're 25. LA Knight was LITERALLY there to do this segment with. There are useful nepo babies and useless nepo babies. You can guess where I think Shane belongs.

7. Snoop essentially flying through the air just to hit one elbow drop 😂😂😂

8. Edge and Finn’s video package was TOP tier! And the fact that Russell Crowe was involved is insane!!!

9. Shout out to Finn for continuing the match with his head split open. Holy cow.

10. Great match from Edge and Finn. Really good.

11. The main event felt like a HUGE deal. Fabulous entrances.

12. Immaculate entrance by Cody Rhodes. I had chills. He looked like the star that he is. His jacket was 🔥🔥🔥 The wings on the back made it look so epic.

13. Tears in my eyes when he hugged his family and then gave his belt to Negative One.

14. This was Roman’s first grand entrance as the Tribal Chief. The pianists went off. Loved how the soft piano ended and the BOOM opening of his theme song followed right after. So intimidating.

15. He didn’t change his pants. Just his boots. Boo, Mr Reigns. That doesn’t count.

16. Shout out to Samantha Irvin and her intros. That girl is GOOD.

17. Solo the shooter, terrorizing Cody at every turn. It eventually paid off. That’s why Roman don’t talk to his brothers anymore, lol. They’re not as reliable as their baby brother.

18. ROLLERCOASTER of a match. The ejection of Solo, the near falls! 😭

19. This match would have been five stars for me if it wasn’t for the ref bump. It’s like the 4th match in a row it was happening and it’s a bit repetitive. Let Roman have a no DQ match for once so he can do what he wants.

20. My jaw dropped when the ref counted to three! I honestly thought Cody was winning. I was sooo shocked. Nothing I thought would happen, happened

21. It will be interesting to see what is going to happen next because I have no clue. Will Cody still chase the titles or will it be someone else? How badly will Roman bully the twins now that they are no longer champions?

22. Lmao at Roman using every social media platform to gloat afterwards. He knew this was the reaction he would get and he was loving it.

Overall: Night 1 was much better than Night 2 IMO. Night 1 is probably the best Mania night I’ve ever watched. Practically every match delivered and I was happy.

MVP of the weekend - Dominik Mysterio. He was flawless. Heeled it up to the nines. His match with his father was near perfect. Bright future for that young man

Line of the weekend - “This is what Dominik gave up for those bozos, Dominik deserved what he got tonight at Mania”- Michael Cole spitting 🔥 the entire show.

What did you agree or disagree with?

#roman reigns #wwe #wrestlemania goes hollywood #Wrestlemania #msbigredmachine reviews #Wrestlemania 39

[diningwiththeasquiths]

I looked away from a moment and suddenly his shirt was off lmao. He truly always gives the fans what they want, so generous 😆❤

#john cena #happy cena month #monday night raw

[scp-10000]

Bakugan in Universe RPF

In their universe, the Brawlers are celebrities, though I’m not sure if they’re Markiplire level or John Cena level.  Either way, in universe there is a chance they will have seen what their in universe fandom is up to, so I’ve decided to toss out some thoughts on how they might react to it.

Dan: He only has a twitter to retweet fanart.  The only time he tweeted on it was months after he disappeared to tell EVERYONE he left to give others a chance to climb to the top cause he felt he hogged it for too long.

Shun: There is a phenomenon in MCYTer fandom where whenever a creator mentions something from fandom culture, everyone yells “Scatter” and run away.  This phenomenon also happens in the Bakugan universe.  Shun is well aware of his phenomenon and keeps himself off the internet cause he does not want to scare the fans with his presence.  

Marucho: Despite being the most aro/ace out of a group of people I headcanon as being some flavor of aro/ace Marucho reads E rated fanfics on AO3.  He also plays a game of “How Bad is the State of Sed ED?”.  

Julie and Runo: With their powers combined, they try to use their fan following to do some good in the world.  Those two do regular tree planting/litter cleaning about once a season.  The only stated reason they don’t invite Shun(despite him liking to use his ninja training to clean up litter and plant saplings) is cause they do not want to over people their friendly forest cryptid friend.

Alice: She uses fandom playlists to discover new music.  The fact that at minimum 25% of all the songs on all the playlists are the same few songs does not discourage her.  She also could not predict that Hydranoid would love sea shanties.

She’s also earned the nickname of Battle Baba Yaga in Russia when she and Hydra do go out to wet their fangs with blood.

Baron: Similar to Dan in that he only has Vestle social media to show off cool fan art.  He is different in the fact he goes on Tolkien length gush sprees.

Jake: See Baron.  They also regularly meet to not only battle but show each other cool fanart and gush for hours.  I just want the himbos to be happy and have fun together.

Ace: One time he entered an Ace cosplay contest dressed as he normally would and earned second place.

Mira: There is another phenomenon of I believe parody RPF of political figures.  Mira observed a large amount of those fics after the ousting of the royal family, notably a lot of ones involving her domming the prince.  Those fics also had the odd “degenerate” comment for royal loyalists.

Spectra: After learning about the fics his sister’s in, Spectra decided to see Earth E rated fics.  He learned two things.  1. Humans are far hornier and kinkier a Vestal can even conceive of, and they all have the power to stop the hearts of royal loyalists with their toys.  2. By fanfic standards, he is a disappointing alien, and he needed Heloise and Gus to comfort him for a week.

Fabia: Nethians compose long, Shakespearean poems to express horny desires that take weeks to write.  Fabia has been subjected to too many about her.  Then she sees how humans do it and respects how refreshing it is to not have to pull out a massive dictionary to remember what 1000 old and obscure words mean.  She can just read and then go from there instead of having to stave off brain fuzz after 14 stanzas.

Ren: One time a solderer nervously asked him to sign his helmet cause he heard that’s a thing humans do, and he thought it’d be cool.  Ren signed it, and now that helmet, and now it’s a family heirloom.

Page and Rafe: With their powers combined, they are going to study all 4 branches of the fandom.  Nothing will keep them sane, especially if they decide to write a paper or a book about it.

Guntz: He feels bad about is flesh prison being used for evil, so he patrols the fandom making sure everyone’s safe and having fun.

#bakugan #dan kuso #shun kazami #marucho marukura #julie makimoto #Runo Misaki #alice gehabich #baron latoy #ace grit #mira fermen #spectra phantom #jake #fabia sheen #ren crawler #page #rafe #guntz #holy crap that's a lot of in univers fandom talk #hopefully the people in my universe and fandom will like it

[thelowkeygeek]

Check out the latest LOWKEY GEEK #youtube video! Who Had A Naked JOHN CENA On Their OSCARS Bingo Card? | The Morning After LIVE by LOWKEY GEEK! Good morning and Happy Monday! Hollywood celebrated the movies over the weekend and we celebrated in seeing a naked John Cena present Best Costume Design, a dog clapping and Ryan Gosling stealing the show with the best musical performance of the evening. I'll be recapping the Oscars and also going over the weekend box office along with the recent headlines. Great ways to show support to the channel is by donating during the live stream in the following ways: TTS is ON at $5+ Super Chats & Donations - Get your messages read out loud! Donations: https://ift.tt/9K7NztD Become a friend of the channel for just $1 a month. Join a membership TODAY! 🔔 Consider Subscribing: https://ift.tt/rFZitxL 🎧 Listen on Spotify: https://ift.tt/uV6KmsD 🎧 Listen on iTunes: https://ift.tt/Q7zgFYO ► The gear used on this channel: https://amzn.to/3L79c1Y ► Sign up for Surfshark VPN and get 85% OFF + 2 Free Months: https://bit.ly/3ZLU5Cn ► Get 3 months of UNLIMITED DATA for only $15/mo with Mint Mobile: https://ift.tt/ANtXGTx ► Fever events and experiences: https://ift.tt/jEubtiC ► 80s Tees: 30% OFF with code WINTER30: https://ift.tt/gVvDwal ► Entertainment Earth - 10% OFF In-Stock Items Plus Free Shipping On Orders $40+: https://ee.toys/LOWKEYG Other Great Content ---------------------------------- ► Movie Review & Out of Theater Reactions: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsH8u5sKE6YH2jORSfkqtudOJX2KFFJkK ► The Trailer Park: Trailer Reactions: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsH8u5sKE6YETuoR2B2Y1ulc_TfFKkyGZ ► The MovieTime Podcast: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsH8u5sKE6YFrFx7-xandmlAgLWoUwIhc ► The Talking Talk Podcast: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsH8u5sKE6YG3kXuSkEzu2PGgnjvU70Kc ► Special Events & Travel: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsH8u5sKE6YGUo9x5FHnbideFkmHV_lAM ► Japan WOW Now: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsH8u5sKE6YFX48uPJl5FwipHSTGis9Qy ► LOWKEY GEEK Gaming: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsH8u5sKE6YHHmgt_YpmNFEbOi0d52hic ► One-Shots: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsH8u5sKE6YGDDThqnXOa9FOLYtvAjFNK Follow Us --------------------------------------------------- Twitter: https://twitter.com/the_lowkey_geek Instagram: https://ift.tt/RIreVaL Threads: https://ift.tt/4bSvDRy Follow the Team on Letterboxd ----------------- Blake Wolf: https://ift.tt/C1h5eTL Rene A. Zelada: https://ift.tt/LJepZKk Chapters ----------------- #oscars #oscars2024 #themorningafter #podcast #movienews #morning #morningnews #morningafter #headlines #entertainmentnews #moviereviews #moviereview #boxoffice #weekendboxoffice via YouTube https://youtu.be/RIABZtbziqs

#YouTube #Pop-Culture #Movies #Film #Podcast

[courtneysmovieblog]

Finally watched "Joy Ride" (and "Oppenheimer")

Next month I should have a couple more of this year's Oscar nominees for my mini reviews. Until then:

The Three Musketeers (1993): I don't know if this was the best version, but it had a ton of 90s stars! Chris O'Donnell, Charlie Sheen, Kiefer Sutherland, Rebecca De Mornay, Oliver Platt...and Tim freaking Curry as the bad guy! How can you go wrong?

Father Stu: I tried to watch, but I just couldn't get interested, and not just because Mel Gibson was in it.

Alice, Darling: Anna Kendrick comes to terms with the fact that her boyfriend is abusive. A haunting look at psychologically toxic relationships.

John Wick Chapter 4: I liked these movies better when it was about Keanu Reeves avenging his dog. Now it's just gotten a bit convoluted.

Joy Ride: This was HILARIOUS! I don't care if it didn't do well at the box office, we need a sequel!

Napoleon: I learned more about Napoleon from The Powerpuff Girls in two minutes than I did from Ridley Scott in this boring three-hour piece of crap.

Oppenheimer: While it's not my cup of tea, it certainly was intense and the acting was great. I'm happy that RDJ, Cillian Murphy, and Christopher Nolan got their Oscars.

Damsel: I don't care if everyone else thought it was dumb, I enjoyed it! And not just because it was how Game of Thrones SHOULD have ended.

Spaceman: Adam Sandler gets consoled by a giant space spider (Paul Dano). Actually drearier than it sounds, but it still had some great moments and the visual was dazzling.

Ricky Stanicky: Thanks, I hate it. Although I did get a cheap laugh out of John Cena's karaoke scenes.

#adam sandler #biopics #fairy tale movies #sequels #mini reviews

[thef1nalb0ss]

Faction Rankings: Week of October 30, 2023- November 5, 2023

Only a couple hours late! Pretend it's still Sunday.

10. Meta-Four

Noam got the cup back. Noam had to give Tozawa a Hertiage Cup match to get it back, though, and Oro, Lash, and Jakara all got taken in the haunted house. I'm sure they'll be fine. It's not Hallloween Havoc unless somebody gets taken in the haunted house.

9. Imperium

Hey, would you look at that, Vinci got pinned again. I'm sure Gunther is thrilled about that. Speaking of Gunther's here's a 4-way match this week to determine his next challenger between Ricochet, Miz, Bronson, and Ivar.

8. The Street Profits and Bobby Lashley

While they were backstage, B-Fab approached Bobby and asked for a meeting. That meeting could be about just her, or it could be about both her and Ashante. Since Hit Row disbanded neither of them have been on TV besides one backstage segment where Ashante got attacked by The Bloodline. Either way, it looks like they could be getting at least one new member soon. Bobby also has a match against Carlito this week.

7. The Viking Raiders

Erik is out indefinitely, and Ivar is stepping into the singles scene with his absence. This week, he'll be involved in number one contenders match to the Intercontinental Title, going against Ricochet, Miz, and Bronson.

6. Briggs, Jensen, and Henley

Fallon was supposed to have a match with Tiffany last week, but Tiffany attacked her before the bell rang. That match is now rescheduled for this week, but is also now a qualifying match for a spot in the Iron Survivor Challenge.

5. The Way

A win for DIY, a loss for Candice after Xia knocked her out and the ref ended the match. Hopefully it's just a work and Candice is okay.

4. Damage CTRL

The good news is that Iyo retained. The bad news is that Bayley lost to Bianca on the Smackdown before, and Bayley also did not look too happy after Iyo's match, probably because Kairi returned to help Iyo. Judging by Bayley's expression after the match, she was not the one who called Kairi for help nor did she know she was there. Could this be signaling the end of Iyo in Damage CTRL, or even Damage CTRL as a whole?

3. The Judgement Day

So everybody still has their titles. Dom retained on Tuesday, and Rhea retained on Saturday. However, Damian not only lost his match against Cody, but Sami took the briefcase when Damian tried to cash-in on Seth. Also, trying-really-hard-to-become-a-member JD McDonough lost to Sami on the pre-show.

2. The Bloodline

Roman retained. Solo won against Cena. Jimmy is being Jimmy. Rumor is that Roman is off until Rumble season now, so if that's true this story is going to be rinse and repeat for a couple months. Barely any story progression occurs without Roman around.

I'm really not trying to be a downer and I love The Bloodline story when it seems like it's actually going somewhere, and recently if Roman isn't around it doesn't go anywhere until he comes back.

1. Diamond Mine

Last week:

They won their first main roster match

They won the TLS match against Angel and Humberto

There's rumors of them being moved up from NXT to Raw

So it was a pretty good week for them, altogether.

[dalekofchaos]

Can we have a unique WWE Championship again?

To mark the 1,000 day reign of Roman Reigns as Universal Champion, Triple H came out to reveal and award Roman the new Undisputed WWE Title belt design. When I saw a podium out there (the same one that The Rock used to reveal the original “big logo” belt after retiring Cena’s design) with a title under a cover, I got excited. As did, I imagine, everyone else. “What would it look like?” “How will the new design compare to other titles?” “Is it going to be that new winged eagle belt we all wanted?” And then……..the exact same belt we’ve had since 2014 but just with gold.

There is nothing about the new belt that makes me want to give a crap about it. It reminds me of SummerSlam 2016: the big red Universal copycat title was revealed and the fans were like “This is stupid! It’s the same belt, just red!” and proceeded to rain on the whole match with “Your belt sucks!” and “Heeeeeeeey we want a new belt!” chants.

And if it wasn’t for The Usos coming out, they would’ve likely gotten a similar reaction to that belt from the crowd present. The second Triple H revealed that belt, there was a mixed reaction from the fans. You could very clearly hear many audible boos. People weren’t happy, and I don’t blame them.

That title doesn’t scream “1,000 days as champion”! This belt design, more so than the new World Heavyweight Championship belt, screams “consolation prize”.

The fact of the matter is: if you’re going to make a new championship belt to celebrate the first 1,000 day championship reign in WWE since that of Hulk Hogan, you need to actually make a new belt with a new design. Just last month, WWE archivist Ben Brown did a video on WWE’s YouTube channel going through every WWE title design to present. And every title had something different. Every title was unique. Even on WWE’s social media, they had posts with the different belt designs and trying to get people to participate by asking their favorite design. This title just says, “We don’t care, here ya go”. Which is absolutely sad. Especially from Triple H, who of all people, should respect the championship he himself held 9 times with 4 different designs.

Now, if this is just meant to be a segway or stop-gap title until Cody, okay. If it’s supposed to be a “special title” for Roman in the vein of the Smoking Skull belt for Stone Cold or the Planet’s Champion belt for Daniel Bryan, etc., then fine. We’ll deal with it. But if this is going to be the title Cody Rhodes will wear around his waist after he dethrones Roman at long last, then this ain’t gonna fly.

We get it, WWE and its marketing the belt. This is the belt that WWE likes to give at sports and charity celebrations. We get it. But you can do it without being tacky. You can do it without just trotting the same design out with a different color a la John Cena’s “fruity pebble” phase. You gave us hope of a new belt and this time, let us down. Hopefully, it’s not for much longer.

Reminder, THIS is what a real Undisputed Championship looks like. It's crazy its been 18 years since there's been a good looking WWE championship

Hell even THIS or THIS would look better. Just replace Universal and World Heavyweight with Undisputed

Or hell, this.

#WWE #Roman Reigns #Triple H #WWE Undisputed Universal Championship #WWE Universal Championship #WWE Championship