#i am SO confused at people deciding Loki has no moral ground over anyone because even in the show he doesn't force his opinion on others | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cobaltarchivist · 5 years

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Sarcasm, Genre Savyness, and a Maxed Out Bluff Stat

I heard the chaos before I saw it. I was visiting Germany for a bit of studying abroad and happened to be in the wrong place when it started. Yelling and screaming coming from the grand building I was in front of. Yelling and screaming from what could very easily be assumed to be a fairly high-brow event usually meant that something, or someone, was actively encouraging it. I began to make my way towards the entrance to try and glimpse what was going on when a massive crowd surged through it. I was shoved to the side of the entrance as bodies poured out. I grabbed onto one of the pillars ringing the entrance and climbed up onto the base so I wouldn’t be trampled.

Eventually, the crowds began to thin, but as I was about to get down a tall man with sleek, black hair, a rich green suit, and a cane with a glowing blue stone embedded into the tip strode out. I decided that a quiet decent would be better. This guy was obviously the source of the problem, but what the problem was, I had no idea. I snuck quietly around him, hoping to get the jump on him and knock him to the ground. Then his suit and cane began to shimmer and change. More gold was added to his suit, a horned helmet, also gold appeared on his head, and the cane elongated into a spear, still with the stone set into its head.

Glow stick of destiny? Check.

The crowd in front of him suddenly began to quiet and still themselves. Then the man in front of me slammed the butt of the spear into the ground and shouted: “KNEEL!”

Egomaniacal windbag? Double check.

He began the classic windbag speech. I didn’t really care to listen. Instead, I acted without thinking and swiped the spear from his hands in a moment of laxness. He looked around in confusion for a few moments, then turned to face me, pointing the spear at him. One look at his face and I knew that I was dead. The only thing I could do at this point was postpone my demise. So I postponed away.

“Nice stick. Mind if I borrow it?”

“Did... you... just...?”

“Yes, I did just. However I am fairly certain that everyone here is fairly well acquainted with the fact that I Stole your glow stick of destiny, can we move on from that?” The surprise that had entered the “man” before me quickly left. Crap.

“You dull creature, did you really think you could use a power you know nothing about against me?” Crap, he was right. No other choice than to use those years of customer service to my advantage. I grinned and prepared to bluff my way to hell and back.

“Hey, I do a lot of things without having any clue how they work. Lots of people do. In fact, quite a few politicians have made careers out of it.”

There were a few chuckles from the crowd. That was good, I needed any sort of moral support I could get at this point. Then I looked back at the guy I was bluffing. His calm demeanor hadn’t changed. My mind was struck with a sudden revelation. There was no way this guy was human. Crap, what was I doing? I was going to try and avoid death at the hands of an ultra-powerful being by using snark and obscene amounts of bluffing? Was I NUTS!?

“You act in jest, yet you have no idea what powers are at play.” Crap. He hadn’t even been fazed. I was dead. I was so dead. I had one last gambit I could try, but if it didn’t work I was dead.

“You’re Loki, aren’t you?” Wow. That actually worked. I could tell from his face that I had hit the nail on the head, “Brother of Thor?”

“How did you...?”

“The accent moron,” Why did I say that, “Thor’s crashing into New Mexico was all over the news, and they were kind enough to include several audio clips of him speaking. That combined with the grandiose getup, the fact that everyone can obviously understand you even though I’m pretty sure not all of them speak English, as well as the illusions. Those were all the clues I needed.” He scoffed and the confusion left again. The mantra of ‘I am so dead’ began playing through my head at light speed.

“So you figured out my identity. Congratulations. Your short, meaningless existence has been brightened by a speck of success. However, you seem to have encountered a problem. You are attempting to threaten me using a weapon you cannot hope to wield.” crapcrapcrap, “Return it to me and I may consider not ending that existence prematurely.”

“You assume quite a bit for someone who knows so little.” WHAT WAS I DOING!?

He grinned “Oh?”

“Yeah. It’s a magic spear of doom, right? Probably shoots lasers or something similar from the tip. It almost certainly has some other powers as well that are more useful outside of battle, and based on the personality you have shown I would guess those would be related to mind control.” Wow, either I was really lucky or all that time wiki trawling was finally paying off, “The lasers are probably fired with just a bit of focus right?” Wow, another nail in the board, “Did I miss anything?”

Loki’s mouth open and shut several times. Then it stayed shut and his face began to redden. He started stalking towards me, murder in his eyes. My facade must have begun to crack because a murderous grin spread across his face. However, a metallic clang quickly turned his forward motion into downward motion, causing him to faceplant into the cobbled street. Behind the maniac was standing someone who anyone would recognize even if they had been living under a rock for their entire lives. A man my father idolized, Captain America.

“Nice job son. You alright after that?”

“No.” I promptly collapsed

The next hour passed in a haze. I was interrogated, separated from the pointy stick with incredible powers, and given a bit to drink from some paramedics. I think Iron Man showed up at one point, but I was barely still conscious and couldn’t register anything more than the fact that I was still alive. Clarity began to return as I was loaded into a jet with Captain America, Iron Man, and Loki, wrapped in obscene amounts of bonds. The bonds only made me feel slightly better. The ride mostly passed in silence, but after a few minutes, Loki spoke.

“You’re just a regular human. You had no Idea how to use my staff. You played me.”

My next comment probably turned that nailed up board into the lid of a coffin, but at this point, I didn’t really care anymore.

“Like the cheap kazoo you are.”

#marvel #story #snark #fanfic #bluff

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beauregardlionett · 5 years

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lionness-s twenty-gay-teen reads & recommendations

-- i know that i don’t often talk about the books that i read on this blog, but i felt like i should share some of the incredible queer literature i read this year just in case anyone was looking for a good read! these are all books i’ve read and enjoyed immensely, so i hope that someone else might find as much joy as i did through these novels. happy new year!!

more happy than not by adam silvera

this book fucked me up and i loved every damn second of it. the novel features lgbtqa+, slice of life, and mild sci-fi themes as well as a little bit of violence for anyone who might be sensitive to that last one. i don’t want to say too much on this novel in case i spoil anything, but the gist of it is that there’s a company that was founded to erase/alter memories to make people happier and our main character has to deal with the repercussions of a world in which this possibility exists. personally i thought i knew exactly what was going on in this novel until halfway through when a window got involved and then i had no idea how it was going to end and i loved it

they both die at the end by adam silvera

this book was incredible and i did not want to put it down or have it end. taking place in less than 24 hours, Mateo and Rufus are two teenagers who get the Death Cast call telling them that they’re going to die today. through an app meant for people like them, they find each other and spend their last day alive helping each other through everything thrown at them and making as many memories as possible. featuring themes of lgbtqa+, slice of life, and just enough action to make things heart-racing-edge-of-your-seat interesting, this novel was surprisingly heart-warming despite the title giving the ending away. the story of two kids dying way before they should and helping each other become the person they always wanted to be, this book is definitely worth your time.

the inexplicable logic of my life by benjamin alire-saenz

from the author of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, this books was just as wonderful in my opinion. we follow Sal through his senior year of high school and all the everyday and not-so-everyday trials that come with it. he faces the crisis of writing a college essay that describes who he is as a person when Sal doesn’t even know who he is. but of course, throughout the course of this crazy year, Sal realizes that he has his friends and family to rely on to help him figure out that he’s exactly who he is supposed to be. with themes of lgbtqa+, slice of life, and mild violence, drug use, and other possibly triggering themes, it’s a mundane journey of self-discovery through loss and friendship with a very confused and angry teenager. this book actually brought me to tears at one point, which i NEVER do, so personally i highly recommend this book.

at the edge of the universe by shaun david hutchinson

first of all: i don’t know why i haven’t seen more people talking about this book. it’s fucking incredible. featuring slice of life, lgbtqa+, and slight fantasy themes, i absolutely chewed through this book and couldn’t wait to reach the end to know how everything connected. essentially, Ozzie’s boyfriend Tommy vanishes and he’s the only one to remember that Tommy ever existed in the first place. alongside that, Ozzie has to deal with his slowly crumbling family, finishing high school, figuring out where he wants to go to college and what he wants to do with his life, his friends going in their own directions, and a kid named Calvin who seems intent on making Ozzie’s life that much more complicated. to top it all off, the universe is shrinking.

the ship of the dead by rick riordan

quick note: this book is number three in a series entitled Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard and links up with the Percy Jackson universe, so do not start with this book. frankly because the whole Magnus series is actually worth a read! the overall gist of it though, is homeless teenager Magnus Chase dies and finds himself living in the Norse afterlife as a waiting soldier for Ragnarok, or the end of times. his friends go along with him on his journeys to try and put a stop to Loki’s plans of ending the world as they travel throughout the Nine Realms. this series is wonderfully diverse and the perfect combination of witty and grounding that it feels genuine. honestly, i was stunned by the diversity, the lgbtqa+ themes, the mythology, everything! just to give a brief peek, there’s a genderfluid character (who does not utilize they/them but switches between he/him and she/her), a Muslim character, a deaf character, a character who was homeless for a long time, and so much more it’s actually crazy. TOTALLY worth your time.

the six of crows (duology) by leigh bardugo

now i know i’ve seen this duology featured around the site, but if you haven’t read this, you HAVE to check it out. with themes of lgbtqa+, crime, fantasy, magic, and more, it’s a thrilling and beautiful written story of teenage criminals who are exactly that: criminals. there is no redemption story, no moral villian; it’s just crime for the sake of crime. it sounds weird to say, but it’s refreshing to read about criminals that are motivated by the money and nothing else. led by Kaz - a young crime lord with a dark history - a handful of teenagers attempt to breech a legendary, impenetrable prison because they’re offered a large sum of money to do so. dark, thrilling, and witty, this duology is totally worth your time if you love immoral characters.

the raven cycle series by maggie stiefvater

if you’re a book based blog, chances are you’ve seen this series talked about in abundance. the author actually HAS a blog on this site, and she’s quite wonderful at giving advice and posting updates. if you happen to be unfamiliar with the series, it features themes of magic, lgbtqa+, slice of life, and adventure while following the quest of five high school kids on their quest to reawaken a dead Welsh king. taking place in Henrietta, Virginia, this series is an extraordinary read in my opinion that utilizes beautiful language, snarky characters, and a nice dose of reality for anyone looking to go on a great adventure but still feel grounded.

the foxhole court (all for the game series) by nora sakavic

personally, this was my favorite book i read this year. i read it in less than five hours over the course of two days and almost cried when i realized i would have to wait for the other two books to arrive. i heard about it from this site, and i’m so glad i decided to read it, because i fell in love with the story and the problematic, dysfunctional characters before i was even done the first chapter. following the story of Neil Josten through his crazy, dangerous life, the story is realistic but full of thrill and mystery and suspense and Exy. with themes of crime/gangs, lgbtqa+, college, and sports, i absolute flew through this novel and am looking forward to finishing the series.

#books #aftg #tfc #the foxhole court #all for the game #six of crows #soc #magnus chase #mcatgoa #trc #the raven cycle #they both die at the end #more happy than not #at the edge of the universe #ateotu #the inexplicable logic of my life #tiloml #aaddtsotu

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