#i am not Doing Trans Wrong . there is no wrong to be trans imo

[kafkaguy]

havin a gender crisis at the train station lol #epic

#reading some lesbian comics and marvelling at the butch experience.......... and then also going into Brain Explode Mode bcos #of how similar it is to the transmasc experience #understanding why so many trans dudes are like 'oh what im just butch or a very masculine woman' #and butches are like 'oh what if im a trans guy' #THE VENN DIAGRAMS BRO. INTERSECTIONS AND CONNECTIONS AND SHARED EXPERIENCES #we are FRIENDS but also its making me feel all . What If She Pronouns. What If More Nonbinary Than I Thought... #cos the thing IS as a bisexual i do feel like my sexuality and gender identity are so intertwined its sometimes annoying #so i cannot think of it as like Ah Yes I Like Men Therefore Im a Homosexual #its a like. i like EVERYONE therefore i am EVERYTHING cos ALL my attraction feels Gay with a capital G #im gay for women im gay for men im gay for everything in between and outside #but i dont see my attraction to women as attraction to the opposite gender cos i dont see women as Opposite or necessarily separate #and vice versa i dont see my attraction to guys as . excuse the outdated language - 'same sex attraction' #because i dont necessarily see myself as A Man . yknow? #the binary is fucked identity is everchanging and ever molding and i am just a little wavelength of light floating through space #THEREFORE. idk where i was going with this #i just think that queerness and humanity are so much more complicated than any of us realise #and sometimes it is so frustrating and tiring seeing other people like me and wjth the same experiences as me #being so conservative and so assuming and trying to generalise something so personal #i am not Doing Trans Wrong . there is no wrong to be trans imo #and i also think we need to be kinder to detransitioned people + transmasc lesbians / transfem gays + nonbinary bisexuals ok thanks bye

[homophyte]

okay this has been bugging me for a few days so im outsourcing to tumblr to see if anyone here has talked about it/is talking about it even though the book is a few years old. is there a consensus on morgan from bernardine evaristo’s girl woman other? ive been reading it for a class and it just screamed borderline transphobic character written by a well meaning cis author who has “concerns”. idk is there some 5d chess im missing? am i reading it too literally? whats the deal with it

#myposts #text of kin #girl woman other #doesnt rlly help that like no reviews ive seen really talk about it in depth beyond 'oh yeah and trans rep' #i wanna know whats going on there. #and like dont get me wrong the book is fine--very liberal and kinda annoying for that--but fine #just....i think it generally has the sense its doing things better than it is #the abusive relationship in dominiques chapter...fuckin. everything about yazz?? #i struggle to see some of these stories as groundbreaking when theyre like playing into highly established shit in order to do so yk #the same w morgans chapter imo. really had to go to 'ive always hated pink and dolls!' #rather than. anything else #i guess it stands out the MOST with morgan just bc its so off base and so typical and so typically borderline transphobic that i can #immediately see and roll my eyes at it--same w dominiques chapter ig #just seems like....ticking off boxes on 'the right way' to do certain portrayals and then posing the most boring questions imaginable #about them so when i see such effusive praise for it i go kinda ???? like am I wrong??? maybe im crazy and it is done well #idk i suspect its so highly praised because its so liberal-friendly which is exactly why its so boring to me #i dont hate it. its fine. but like....just fine. i cant muster much enthusiasm #and what the FUCK. with morgan! thats my ultimate question here whats the deal whats the consensus

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

Very sick generally of people trying constantly to frame trans men and trans women as being groups with competing interests and no overlapping experiences.

#No I am not going to relate to every aspect of a trans woman's experence #I'm not going to relate to every aspect of other trans men's experiences either #but the people who hate her hate me #the laws that are designed to hurt her hurt me #and I have no interest in benefitting at her expense or being raised up where she isn't regardless #like so many people's understanding in feminism imo relies on viewing men and women as inherently in opposition to each other #and the existence of trans people presents a problem to them #So their solution is just to decide which ones of us are women who need help and which ones of us are men to be treated with scorn #terfs go the wrong way on it meanwhile your average cis ally seems to be doing the same shit #with the mild bonus of not misgendering us while they're at it

[snekdood]

ppl follow black creators expecting them to give them the perfect correct takes on black issues and then sees their favorite black creators disagreeing and go BWWUUUHHH?? as if they didn’t realize they’re all individual ppl with different experiences and viewpoints ._.

#'w-'well all of these black creators i follow dont agree on this issue!!!' #'how am i supposed to know whats the correctes most goodest take now????' #idk maybe follow ppl for their content and bc you like them for who they are instead of leeching off of other ppls viewpoints #so you never have to have a critical thought or original opinion in your fuckin life #what are you so scared of? being wrong sometimes? grow up and face ppl when you're wrong. #sometimes theres shit you can only learn about by being wrong. you have to be open to the idea that you aren't always going to know #The Correct Take #and sometimes the only way to know that is to be wrong in an actual conversation and be corrected. #not sit there and pray your favorite creators make a video about it 🙄 #generally: the correct take is whatever does the least harm and benefits everyone as much as possible. #at least thats imo #stop following x minority to get x takes about their specific x issues #and maybe follow them for more than whatever they can tell you about how they feel about being x minority and all things surrounding that #like DO YOU EVEN KNOW THEIR FAVORITE TV SHOW? DO YOU EVEN KNOW ANY OF THEIR OPINIONS OUTSIDE OF THE ONES #THEY HAVE ON THEIR MINORITY STATUS? jfc #it just seems kinda dehumanizing. #id hate if someone was following me JUST to hear my atkes on trans shit. like tell me you dont care about me as a person w/o saying it lol #the reason i bring up black creators specifically is bc i feel like it happens more to them and it looks specificvally worse #as someone on the outside- ik i cant speak for them all- but how it looks to me is people treat balck creators (and poc creators in general #tbh) way less personabley and way more distant and professional with them. as if they're only there for the info and then just to leave #its weird #you dont wanna stick around and get to know them at all..? in any capacity.....? #idk

[txttletale]

I'm curious about your thoughts on tme as a coherent category in real life.

For example I'm afab however since going on T I am not infrequently read and treated as a Trans woman.

Other than in online spaces, I face many of the same material risks Trans woman do. People can and do meet me with transmisogynistic violence. It affects my ability to go in certain spaces safely, it affects employment opportunities, all of that. I can't really change how people choose to interpret me, other than to change my appearance and behavior entirely (which imo seems wrong to ask anyone to do, same way telling a trans woman that she could avoid violence if she just hid who she is)

So what I was curious about is how that fits into the concept of being exempt from transmisogyny?

i feel like im going to become the joker from the movie joker. if you are being mistaken for a different type of person and experiencing violence because of that, do you think that perhaps, it stands to reason, that this violence is in fact aimed at that type of person?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for ditching my best friend because of her political views?

🧠🧠🧠 so I can find it later.

My best friend of nearly 10 years has, imo, gone completely off the deep end politically. She went from an educated CNA with 4 years at the same job to being unable to hold down a job and being blacklisted from EVERY hospital and medical center in the city for forcing her patients to pray with her and spouting political and pseudoscience. This last year, she had 7 jobs, which is unreal for her.

In 2016, she fell down the Qanon rabbit hole. Over the last 6 ish years, she has started abusing trans people online, she harassed people at Pride this year, and actually believes all of the qanon stuff.

I just can't handle it. She's become hateful, paranoid. She doesn't even shop at grocery stores anymore because they are "run by liberal scum." She only shops Amazon and fast food. She bought a gun, and she answers the door with it. Even if she knows a friend is coming over, she's afraid of black people now. She's afraid of poor people, too. I just don't get it. She watches the news all day, every day. Like it's an addiction to see global suffering 24/7.

I'm not kidding. I think there's something going wrong upstairs. I tried to reach out, gently, around August about a possible mental health issue, since she's struggled with a few issues in the past. She just started in on how NASA pushed the moon further from Earth and that gave us all depression. I tried for months to help her. But nothing has worked and now she is talking about how all liberals should die and is getting those horrible "hang biden" stickers on her car, and I just blocked her. I blocked her number, blocked her on all social media, and blocked her email address. I ghosted her.

She was my best friend, and I think I might be TA because I didn't stick it out and try more to bring her back. But I also think she's past that point, if she comes around it has to be on her own. In the mean time, I want nothing to do with her. But I miss her. We had such an amazing friendship that's gone downhill so fast. I think I hurt her, but I'm worried for my own mental health. See how I'm on the fence? Ugh.

Aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[ftmtftm]

Leaving aside the fact that this was apparently sent to a number of trans women, some of whom wouldn't have any reason to be primed to recognize bait because they're not involved in this discourse, there were also a number of people openly defending this ask and trivializing trans women's feelings when it comes the sexual objectification they experience regularly from both outside and, in this case, within the queer community.

In fact I've even seen many of the women targeted recognize that the ask is clearly bait, with their disappointment and anger being aimed instead at the transmascs who went out of their way to claim there was nothing wrong with it and trans women were overreacting, without the cover of anonimity (so clearly they stand by this idea).

In the same way I am not a fan of people who say trans men need to shut up about transandrophobia and get forcibly impregnated (I'm still reeling from that one, honestly. It was vile), I'm also not a fan of people who say trans women need to shut up and fuck people who clearly don't respect them.

And this does happen a lot, to both trans men and trans women.

I want to make it very clear - as I've said in every ask response: I feel for those people, especially the people who are distanced from this conversation who have been caught in the crossfire. Especially when there have been a lot of conversations going on lately about the ways trans women are sexualized, especially within our own communities. It's been happening in tandem with the conversation on the sexualization of butches for awhile now. Those are good conversations to have.

That's why the bait is so obvious to me though. It's very clearly preying on those current conversations and escalating them further to cause an even bigger divide.

And let's be clear - those women, especially the ones who are completely distanced from this conversation and have been harassed for no other reason than this anon decided to include them in their campaign - are absolutely victims here because that's how this kind of bait operates.

Victimize as many people as possible while pointing a finger - directly or indirectly - at a group you want to pit the victims against and cause massive issues and infighting as a result. It's textbook. It creates a scenario where there are people justifiably upset for being victimized while priming their upset in a direction away from the actual person doing the victimizing - creating two sets of victims that are now arguing with each other while the victimizer gets off scott free.

That's especially easy with the anonymous feature.

I don't think anyone is wrong for being upset about being sexually harassed. I think people are wrong for taking the sexual harassment at face value, especially those who are closer to these conversations who should - imo - know way better.

#asks #anon #transandrophobia #transmisogyny

[silenthillmutual]

daniil dankovsky is bipolar. i know what you're thinking, 'harker you already say he's autistic and trans now what? bipolar? he can only be one of these things.' oh but you'd be wrong. and i am not just saying this because i have bipolar disorder myself or even because he's a 'mad scientist' (i think how much he is an actual 'mad scientist' is debatable but that's another topic) but like. his classic route is so much of a mixed episode. his emotions are outlandish and intense. there's a grandiosity to everything he does. regardless of the affect presented to us through voice acting. like his dialogue options, things people would never normally say, are mania. his lack of sleep and the fact that he can keep going despite constantly being under seige. and then of course the depression aspect of a mixed episode is so plain and clear towards the end of his two weeks.

imo this really fits in with his relationship to the stamatin twins, because what are andrey and peter if not the two poles? andrey's go-around-shirtless-in-a-plague mania and peter's refuse-to-do-anything-that-might-save-you depression. this is why daniil fits in the middle. this is why they recognize him as being One Of Them. and as much as having others recognize themselves in you is massively validating, you can also destroy each other. you can make each other worse. with the toxic codependency of intimately understanding each others' extremes.

#harker.txt

[montypng]

new follower here, love your art so much it's filled with so much character! I saw your tag on the lovely ghoul art; so, thought I'd send an ask: I'd love to hear your thoughts on danger days! Any things at all, feel free to ramble if you want! I always love hearing others hcs/opinions/etc on the series!

HELLO this ask has been sitting in my inbox since january sorry..its mostly bc i have sooo many things 2 talk about and i wasnt sure what i wanted 2 say in this answer but whatever im just gonna ramble SO!!! U get a bunch of random hcs and maybe thematic analysis yippee!! and thank u soo much for the kind words :]

imo all the kjs have some form of body focused repetitive behavior because this is my world and i do what i want.. poison and ghoul have dermatillomania (compulsive skin picking), and kobra and jet have trich (hair pulling) maybe. I think constantly being on the run + adrenaline highs and lows would lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms for all of them and desert living leads 2 pretty shit skin (poison+kobra have at least had bad acne for sure) which is conducive to skin picking..i think the venom siblings and ghoul are bat city runaways too so the withdrawal from bli pills (+shakes and sweats) contributed to them developing bfrbs.

ghoul also gets really bad shakes and jitters from withdrawal, so when it gets so bad that they can’t work on their explosives he blasts mad gear as loud as it can from its speakers and lets himself scream all the frustration out.

also ghoul definitely has hearing loss from bomb detonation in too close proximity. tell me it would know abt proper hearing protection safety protocols with a straight face its impossible.

kobra was born w microform cleft lip, which means he has a little deformity/groove in his upper lip kind of similar to a snake’s . also he broke his nose at some point and it healed wrong so crooked nosebridge↴

both jet and kobra are prone to migraines bc of eye strain and sensitivity (jet is nearly fully blind in his right eye and both kobras eyes are extremely sensitive to light, hence the sunglasses).

sometimes when the migraines are too much they both lie down in the trans am seats together at night and close their eyes and breathe in the dark

prior to jets eye injury they were the teams best marksman, and im not sure yet how greatly that changes after they lose depth perception, but one thing i like to believe is that jet is also a great sniper (stereoscopic vision due to retinal disparity is also only effective up til about 30 meters too so he wouldnt need to rely on binocular vision for that), so maybe they focuse on that skill post-injury. how i picture their scar ↴

this is so long already but 1 last thing more in a thematic analysis vein: i need ppls opinions on the girl and her story PLEASE. she has so little agency in the canon narrative but . Where r the girlposters around here i need to hear others thoughts on her guilt complex from the fab 4s sacrifice and her running away from her own role as the protagonist of a story she never wanted 2 be part of and her blowing up the city that killed her family and whether or not that alleviated her neuroses and brought catharsis or not and her characterisation as a literal bomb and destructive force even though shes just a kid and ughhh. Linking this girl post i made a while ago w an anne carson quote that makes me crazy ANYWAYS. Talk 2 me about her. Im begging.

#asks #rainerhammond #danger days #ttlotfk #killjoys #party poison #fun ghoul #jet star #kobra kid #the girl #the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #my art #Im gna maintag this bc i need ppls opinions on the girl im living in a drought #ALSO dude ur tags on my posts r always so nice i appreciate them so much #STAY COOL!!!

[emma-radfemcanu]

Like don't get me wrong, I hate the Conservatives and it will be a cold day in hell before I ever vote for them, but omg the amount of outrage over Rishi Sunak saying 'a man is a man and a woman is a woman. it's common sense'

I am very cynical about the motives of politicians like Miriam Cates and Kemi Badenoch- they are no friend to women at all but nonetheless I'm kind of glad that at least someone is saying it? The Tories are doing terribly in the polls atm and since Labour cannot sort themselves out, they're hoping it'll be a vote winner- it won't make much of a difference imo because rightly or wrongly most people have more pressing problems (housing, cost of living, education, healthcare etc etc)

But seriously after yesterday's speech I've seen so many people going on about how unsafe the UK is for trans people, the usual suicide stats, multiple celebrities expressing support for their poor oppressed trans friends, and so on- I even saw one person saying that if a trans person is attacked and killed then Sunak should be arrested and charged 🙄 all because he said something that literally everyone knows to be true, but people are seriously acting like he said 'I want to round up all trans people in the UK and murder them as brutally as possible'

Seriously these people need to get a fucking grip, I'm so tired of their manipulative bullshit

[communistkenobi]

sorry for sending this and getting involed while everyone else is being a dick about it. please dont think i agree with them.

but i do want to say that like. the genital preference thing is just like, a preference. like some people prefer to have sex in certain ways and thats not always possible with a given person's anatomy. i dont think its like a moral issue to say like for example "i like eating pussy but i prefer not to suck a dick" because those are two different things? and it doesnt necessarily come from transphobia either, i think theres more nuance than that.

there are plenty of reasons that someone might prefer a given set of genital traits (idk how to phrase that) like some people vastly prefer sucking a dick and thats great and fine and someone without that wouldnt be able to satisfy them in the ways they want to

like it will ofc get transphobic if there are assumptions about a persons anatomy based on whether theyre trans. like "i wouldnt have sex with a trans woman bc i dont like dicks" IS transphobic. but the statment "i dont want to have sex with a person with a dick" is just, a preference. the transphobia, i think, comes from the given assumptions about what trans bodies look like, both before and after surgery, thats where the political and social implications of genital preference come in. well that and the set of sex acts that people assume are possible with any given genitals.

wrt the sex acts thing like i, a pre bottom surgery trans guy, can have piv sex using my dick, which people would not think given the political and social implications of having a vagina. i think at a certain point blanket statements dont cover it and you would be Much better off confining it to specific sex acts and discussing with a person beforehand.

ftr i dont think cis people use the term genital preference acceptably and we should absolutely take that phrase away from them. but that doesnt make the term itself transphobic imo

I guess I’m just not willing to give this line of argument a lot of credit given how deeply this conversation is entrenched in (especially transmisogynistic) transphobia. I do not think it is possible to fully extricate yourself from cis-heteronormative ideas about bodies when talking about genitals in general.

And to be clear, I agree with you in the sense that I think moralising all aspects of sexual desire can lead to really bad conclusions - my stance on this issue is not predicated on the fact that I think all sexual desire and sexual expression is indicative of some underlying moral principle (ie the notion that BDSM or kinky sex means you love abusing people, or that engaging in group sex means you’re needy and self-centred, etc), because I don’t believe that and I think that can quickly lead to reactionary ideas about sex. But I am unwilling to cede rhetorical ground to “it’s just a preference” not because I think it’s impossible to prefer certain styles of sex over others - or even certain genitals over others - without attaching grand moral values to those preferences, but because of how deeply violent and malicious these ideas are so often expressed in the world. There is a dedicated slur for trans women that is premised on the fact that they have “the wrong” set of genitals, and by “pretending” otherwise (ie by being women) they are “tricking” men into finding them attractive or having sex with them. Because genitals are synonymous with gender by societal standards, because their presence and absence within gendered spaces are so deeply policed, because trans people having the genitals we have is itself seen as a criminal act (“concealing” our “true nature” for “nefarious” purposes) as well as evidence of the fraudulence of our humanity, I am extremely reluctant to entertain casual conversations that conclude with “well it’s just a preference.” Like, okay, maybe it is! But when I see that articulated in ways that frame some genitals as universally “repulsive” or disgusting, both of which are aesthetic assessments with very loaded (even if unintentional) moral judgements, transphobia alarm bells start going off in my head. Trans people are existentially dislocated from public spaces because our genitals determine access to basic necessities like bathrooms, changing rooms, dressing rooms, and the like - we do not belong because we are trying to enter gendered spaces with the “wrong” genitals attached to our bodies. Because access to public spaces is gendered, and because that gendering process is mediated through your genitals, it’s not just our identity being called into question but our ability to be human beings in public space. Our genitals are the site of metaphysical societal anguish over the nature of gender itself. Those are some pretty high stakes!

If someone prefers some sets of genitals over others, that is not an automatic comprehensive condemnation of their moral character vis a vis trans issues - it is, however, if the way they articulate that preference is indistinguishable from transphobic rhetoric, and if you step two paces in any direction you will encounter crowds of people doing just that.

#asks #even old new york was once new amsterdam #transmisogyny tw #transphobia tw

[hms-no-fun]

Are They Might Be Giants anti-communist? or just like Liberal?

i'm absolutely the wrong person to ask this question. unlike basically every trans woman i know i never really got into TMBG, so my knowledge is entirely based on infodumps from them. luckily one of my best friends has an encyclopedic knowledge of their work and made me listen to basically every single TMBG album over the course of a couple road trips (an experience i greatly enjoyed) with tons of commentary. most of which i haven't retained, but so. approximate knowledge here.

most recently this friend described johns flansburgh & linnell as having settled as "new york libs," but in the way you'd describe a well-meaning aunt or grandmother who's typically on the right side of history even if she doesn't always say the right things. again, huge asterisk here, i literally am just going on vibes based on a friend's special interest lore dumps, i do not read TMBG posts or keep up with their doings.

i do feel pretty confident in saying they're resolutely not anti-communist. i mean, The Communists Have The Music doesn't exactly strike me as a pro-capitalist anthem? whatever can be said of them today (again, not an expert), their first live show was at a Sandanista rally in support of Nicaraguan Revolution, and they've explored far-left themes/figures/events in their music since the beginning. they seem to be of the gen x disposition against making broad sweeping statements about the politics of their art or making that side of things the audience's business, which maybe contributes to the confusion? but this does not an anti-communist make imo

#sarahposts #tmbg #they might be giants #communism

[a-dragons-journal]

A handful of things I just want to say and forgive me if it sounds like I’m vagueposting anyone in specific I’ve just seen these things said in a number of places by a number of different people today and I honestly cannot find a good singular post to respond to with all of them in one place:

1) If your response to people not liking “kinning for fun” is “stop policing how other people understand their identity,” you have fundamentally misunderstood the problem. The entire problem is that it’s NOT their identity, and they’re explicitly stating that. Policing how other people understand their identity would be telling them that if they have more than [x] number of kintypes they’re not serious about it, or if they “don’t take it seriously enough” they’re not ~really~ ‘kin, not “hey if you’re explicitly saying you don’t actually identify as the thing in any way, why are you using the word that means you identify as the thing in some way”. (And don’t get me wrong - the former definitely exists, but it’s not what the KFF argument is about. That’s a separate argument entirely (and it is shitty and gatekeepy to arbitrarily decide that someone who is telling you they actually do identify as something actually doesn’t do it seriously enough for you) and I am a little tired of people conflating the two, honestly.)

2) “people find out they’re otherkin through roleplay a lot, so “kinning for fun” in that sense is okay and valid” - the former statement is true, but it doesn’t actually support the latter imo. Roleplay is great, and people absolutely explore identity using it a lot - but that doesn’t mean it’s the same thing as identity. Someone playing a character of a different gender in D&D might be a step in them figuring out they’re trans, and it may even be a sign that they’re trans, but it doesn’t inherently make them trans and it would be kind of insulting (and just. objectively incorrect) to call it “transing”, y’feel?

3) One of the biggest differences between, like, queer exclusionism and syscourse versus this whole thing (since I keep seeing this comparison occasionally), even ignoring the whole “nowhere is anyone telling KFF they’re wrong about their own experiences, just that the actual word they’re using is Not It” aspect, is that exclusionism is driving people out of spaces and communities they’ve historically been a part of. As far as I am aware, and please correct me if I am wrong here, otherkinity has always and exclusively been about being your kintype - people who just relate to a thing have, as far as I have ever seen in all my reading, never been a part of it. It’s not people suddenly being shoved out of a community they’ve historically been a part of, it’s outsiders trying to shoehorn themselves into words that were never meant to describe their experiences and getting mad when they’re told “hey, that’s not what that actually means.” (At risk of a controversial comparison here, it’s not m-spec lesbians suddenly being pushed out of the word “lesbian” because they don’t fit an increasingly narrowing label even though they were historically a part of it, it’s white people trying to insist that they’re “smudging” and that the spirits they’re interacting with are their “totem animals” even when they’re being repeatedly told by Native people that no, you have misunderstood what those words mean, stop misusing them that way, please use these other words that actually mean what you are describing instead. Obviously with a little less weight courtesy of the history tied in with cultural appropriation, but like - you get my point.)

There has to be a point at which a community is allowed to go “hey, you’re not allowed to try and force the word we created to describe a specific phenomenon to include a hundred other things that have very little in common with that specific phenomenon, or it becomes impossible for us to actually talk about our own experiences clearly because suddenly words mean borderline nothing.” I am all about inclusion, but words have to mean something or why do we have them at all? There are at this point literally dozens of other words for the things “kinning for fun” is supposed to mean - there are not other words for actually being nonhuman, which is the entire reason we created these words to begin with. If you want an umbrella term to cover all these things, that’s what “alterhuman” is for - we seriously do not need to be trying to force “otherkin” to be the umbrella term “alterhuman” was always supposed to be.

#kin for fun #rani talks

[rivetgoth]

I really dont think people have any empathy for detransitioners as a reaction to how they’re used by anti-trans crowds. To the point even “allies” downplay (trans people) or parentalize (transphobes) their medical, social, and personal struggles. There’s just no good platform for us to talk with each other without us biting at each others heels. What you said is totally right I’m just tired and ranting lol. Thank you for your post

it really, really sucks (and I have seen with my own eyes) that the politicization of “detransitioning” as an action and “detransitioner” as an identity has led to the snowball effect of trans spaces, at least online (thankfully haven’t seen quite the same response around trans people I know irl, but I don’t want to imply that the behavior of large online trans spaces are inconsequential), sort of beginning to hold this suspicion or even disdain towards actual detransitioners. I feel like at least weekly I see someone on one of the big trans subreddits mention being scared of talking to detransitioners or otherwise triggered by hearing about detransitioners or reading their stories or anything. Or I just see “detransitioner” be used broadly and conflated with the transphobic grifters heading the detrans movement. I really don’t like that.

I think part of where my sadness about this comes from, other than the obvious stuff that I kinda wish didn’t have to be said, like the fact that I am friends with detransitioned people who are lovely, that we know objectively from studies done on this topic that the majority of detransitioners do so for external reasons such as social rejection, lack of access, safety concerns, etc, the fact that many people who detransition do not identify as cis, or the fact that many detransitioners are gonna have many overlapping material experiences as us when it comes to the interpersonal and on occasion even systemic mistreatment of gender and sex nonconforming individuals… is just the fact that I personally have learned a TON from detransitioners myself, and I’ve found their insights into gender and sex to be extremely helpful in conceptualizing my own identity and how it pertains to my body and my transition. It was a detransitioner who first turned me on to the reconceptualization of medical transition as a form of body modification and the question of trans rights being one within a larger conversation of bodily autonomy. I think their experience as someone who exercised their autonomy to change their body and ultimately came to the decision it wasn’t right for them gave them a lot of personal wisdom about these intricacies.

I am sympathetic to some extent that many of the trans people who express frustration towards detransitioners are doing so because they’re tired of the identity being used as ammo to further regressive anti-autonomy laws, but I’m kind of admittedly equally sympathetic to non-transphobic detransitioners who harbor frustration towards aspects of the modern trans community (such as the pervasive rhetoric I really strongly dislike but see quite often that claims “anyone who questions if they’re trans is probably trans,” which IMO does the opposite of uplift questioning people’s right to, well, QUESTION, even if they realize they’re ultimately not actually trans, and does erase the very healthy experience of questioning if transition is right for you and being wrong, as well as the reality of detransitioners existing at all) or at the larger system (such as how little informed consent doctors often actually know about HRT before prescribing it—many such cases), even if both of these frustrations are mis-aimed. This is a literally life or death topic within broader global politics for some and I get tension is high. I want to explicitly make clear I’m talking pretty complex intracommunity relations so I can avoid characterizing the trans community as like overtly hostile or irrational. That’s obviously not true.

But idk? I guess just speaking within/as a member of the trans community I wish there was more space for detransitioners to speak and I wish that detransitioners weren’t seen as a source of like… fear. Tbh I understand that it’s partly a reaction to the politicization of the identity and the way it’s weaponized against trans people, but I do kind of get the sense, and this is a more grave accusation but I think I’m right to say it, that some trans people are just… scared of seeing detransitioned people because they don’t want that to be them, and they’re scared to face their own internal fear of regret or being wrong, and in turn are harboring some level of fear and disgust at the idea of being a gender/sex nonconforming person. I think some members of the trans community have internalized this fear of regret to the point that they see detransitioned and other sex nonconforming individuals as almost caricatures of themselves or “worst case scenarios.” It reminds me of how extremely cruel certain trans people can be to non-passing trans people or gender nonconforming trans people or intersex people. I think there is a fear of transition “failing” that, while understandable as a personal/internal fear when you’re battling dysphoria and taking such a huge step and doing something so potentially socially and politically loaded, kinda sucks when it’s projected out onto others. Very reminiscent of the annoying ass trans people who claim that “second hand dysphoria” (seeing a trans person who doesn’t pass or does something you wouldn’t, usually something pertaining to stereotypes associated with their AGAB ex. a trans man who wears pink, and becoming dysphoric over it) is a thing.

I guess I just feel like sex and gender nonconformity as well as the exercising of one’s bodily autonomy—even to an end that ultimately one regrets—are all good things, and I feel like we can all learn from each other and all should be aligning with each other and building community with each other, including facing and having open minded and empathetic discourse around the idea of regretting one’s choices when we do act on them… Having support systems in place for those who need it is crucial to allowing people autonomy to begin with, similarly to how I believe drugs should be decriminalized but with that should come an overhaul in how we treat those struggling with addiction (including an overhaul of the legal system), sex work should be decriminalized but with that should come tangible material and system-wide support not just for sex workers but within the entire labor industry. With autonomy comes the risk of regret. I’m very pro-regret, I’m pro-the right to do things you’ll regret, and I am very anti-criminalization for the sake of trying to save people from regret or protect people from themselves. It’s the same reason I feel a lot of solidarity with cis people who undergo extreme body modification, whether or not it’s to an end that they’re satisfied with, as long as they aren’t propagating anti-autonomy rhetoric, and it’s interconnected with the same reason I’m pro-drug and pro-choice and pro-sex work.

[samtallchester]

To my moots, followers and friends. I know you follow me for my content or whatever other reason. And I know you must have noticed the sudden number of posts based on Portuguese elections and are probably gonna skip this post. If you're still reading this, thank you.

Portugal clearly isn't the only one heading this way. You may have heard of Vox [Spanish far right party] as well and maybe other countries. Sure there are wars raging. There is a lot going on and you'll probably think "what does it even matter?" Because many people do, because true, we are [thankfully] not going through any of that. But what I want to bring to attention is important at least to me. And I wanted to share with everyone. Because oppression still matters.

25th April marks the year my grandparents – minus my ugly ass paternal grandpa (an oppressor working for the dictator), as well as my grandparents' parents were freed from the dark clutches of the reign of terror known as the New State.

50 years later, it's happening again. AD won and Chega wants a coalition. If he doesn't achieve so, and Montenegro continues with his original plan of leading a minority government, Ventura [CHEGA] claims to shoot down any bills he may want to pass – which is petty imo. But you know politics is politics.

Eventually, AD is gonna have to go. Minority governments don't last. So Portugal may be stuck with Chega at some point in the next 5 years. My home will no longer be a democracy but will be a fascist reign of terror once again because no doubt. Estado Novo [The New State] will be back, if Ventura really brings it back. Censorships. Health care will totally change. Immigrants will be forced to go back to their home countries. Romi people will likely be dislodged. Abortion laws will change. Trans people will not be allowed to be who they are.

All because young people like us let themselves fool themselves into believing that André Ventura is right. Maybe because their romi neighbor made them mad last week so they voted Chega, whatever petty reason. Or PSD messed them up, I don't care.

They haven't learned. Surely their grandparents told them stories about how worthless living was under Salazar. Or some might have even died because people like my paternal grandpa hunted them down for being anti-fascist. And yet, you still vote for the same man who thinks women are beneath him. Who made a fuss over BE's leader wearing bright red lipstick and shamed her [Marisa Matias] for it.

I am disappointed in my nation. We are welcoming those people into our arms, not even caring where we are voting and God I feel disgusted that people these days are so stupid that they vote another party out of revenge? So what? There's like 10 parties. You could have picked another.

We are disappointing our ancestors and Mario Soares. The MFA [Movimento das Forças Armadas], every single person who fought 48 years of oppression and censorship.

Maybe I got some facts wrong – because i am not perfect and i am trying to merely educate myself. The future is uncertain. That is for sure. Because genuinely, I am ashamed to believe this country really lost its sense. Our ancestors deserved better.

#chega #anti chega #anti andré ventura #andré ventura #legislativas 2024 #portugal #politics #2024 elections #trans #lgbtq #carnation revolution #carnation for portugal #25 de abril #mfa #movimento das forças armadas #fascism #dictatorship #censorship #chega dni #be #bloco de esquerda #partido socialista #Luís montenegro #aliança democrática #ad #cds-pp #psd #oppression

[baeddelations]

I think this part of my loathing of seeing this article passed around "i am tw, iam staying in the closet" bc it is a diary entry that was explicitly not supposed to be advice or a rubric. She origanilly aays its just 1 narrative to take in then when it gets past around she says hey this was me venting i didnt intend for anyone to read this.

I think this is the major interest in this piece. A view into the interiority of a tw whos been closeted for 20 yrs and her personal xp growin up then being a closeted tw in a University WGS dept. Some ppl might call this a fetishistic interest in the interiority of this tw, oh how they love poking around in the frankenstein monsters guts, poking his brain to see what horrid mismatched limb will jump.

I think the main reason @autolenaphilia interacted with this is bc this article was passed around by a bunch of transmisogynist who are adpting and pulling together the transmisogyny of jeniffer and her recounting of cismanhating that exists in primarily cisfeminist spaces and by extension radical and queer spaces. Jennifer does not bring up cafab transness or transmasculinity once in this article yet it is cited as inspiration for truther framework.

I do think the way that jennifer talks about not wanting to acquiesce is kinda built on a faulty conjecture which is that if she transitioned she would be able to talk about femininity in these spaces... at one point she says this probably wouldnt be true(mb just for her) but then goes back to the original argumentation on many occasions. This argumentation taken to conlusion posits that it is easier to discourse or even exist in those spaces as a tw than as a cis man that u will be more include and less ridiculed. At the time of this article she had never actually tried out this proposition, so she never got to see how this prop is at least in all the copius amounts of personal and anecdotal xp i have false. But this prop is useful for ppl who want push tw have it easier and that men are reviled for being men. Enter prager xcuse me truthers.

I also hate internalized oppression framework, imo it is an idpol tool used to shift blame from the brainwashed oppressed to som aspirational that oppressive ideology comes naturally to. Is she promoting transmisogynistic ideas? Yah, shes not bad for this but it is why its useful to truthers, and part of why it hurts to read as a tw.

@autogyne-redacted i do think its hard to see point 1, 2, and 5 of y shes not trnsn nd say these arent related to passibility. Repercussion are often contingent with passablity. Movin towards phys transn being dysphoria inducing is connected with what expectations of feminity u hav and how u line up with them(i also xp this). And the gap thing is imo her wishing she could be passable w ease and recognizing she cant so settling and saying its not worth it to try.

I think lena is apply a broader scope of trans xp to jennifers xp i dnt think this is even necessarily harmful and i dnt think shes even saying jen is wrong for it shes saying her words are easy to coopt that they are capering to these tmras which they are however unitentionally. U could also take things ive said in the past and warp them into tmra shit. I fortunately didnt write these things in a medium article. She is handling in other ways and this is wut conv therapy wants... thats what it seems they go for a lot again doesnt mean jen is bad nd lena doest say shes wrong for this. The only thing lena says is she doesnt want this for herself thats not restricting jens autonomy. And that the article and responses made her sick. They made me feel bad too. This isnt necessarily a moral judgement. It could be but idk.

All this is a dissection. I hate it. I wish her vent diary post wasnt being aired, analyzed, and discoursed. Im doing it right now ffs! It makes me want to leave the internet. I hope ppl stop talkn bout it...but they wont bc the corpse of this diary can be a useful weapon against tw so itll keep gettn used.