#i am so depressed today

[yourbrat]

4:21 and I still haven’t done shit today 😭😭😭😭😭

#help #I am so depressed today

[panthermouthh]

And I said, “Hello, Satan

I believe it’s time to go.”

#my art #southern gothic #been too depressed to create anything but I’ve made this today #the little rhyme has been in my head for a few weeks #spilled ink #I guess do people still use that tag for poetry or am I old lol #I’ve been writing in my journal pretty much daily and sometimes spitting out little poems like this #not much energy for art #so I’m not gonna pressure myself to keep it up #I’m just gonna enjoy the fact that I made this #I hope ur all well <33 #the devil #by the way this isn’t meant to be fan art of Robert Johnson #but it’s inspired by him and the stories of musicians who sell their souls to the devil #I am still thinking very hard and have mostly drafted a cornstalk fiddle comic #god knows how long it’ll stay in a notebook haha #my comic #comics

[majubengel]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ Love hurts *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

#madoka magica #puella magi madoka magica #homura akemi #madoka kaname #madoka #madoka fanart #madoka x homura #today is valentine's day in my country and i feel hella depressed lol #so here it is gays suffering just like i am lol

[wetslug]

cycle of i buy produce -> i eat produce -> i go back to store -> everytime i go back price is now 5% higher

#idk how yalls grocery stores are behaving today but i feel like produce costs the most out of everything i buy #like per pound meat is more expensive for sure but per calorie produce is CRAZY #like im rlly bad at getting enough fruit/veg (probably only 20-30% of my diet) because its just so damn expensive #its especially depressing because its half the price back in BC but yet here i am. asscrack of canada #when i go to the farmers market and they selling imported BC fruit for an insane markup.... i want to kick bite scream etc etc

[nowyoursoulisforfeit]

I’m sorry, but on the nights Percy actually goes to sleep, Scanlan goes into his room at some ungodly hour for the sole purpose of whispering cursed things in his ear.

Percy’s just trying to sleep - actually take care of himself for once - and then Scanlan pulls up with, “The ocean is a soup. Accept the truth.”

#today i either have to embrace my depression or become hysterically goofy and ignore all my emotions so i am choosing goofy #critical role #critical role tlovm #the legend of vox machina #vox machina #tlovm #percy de rolo #percival de rolo #percival critical role #critical role percy #percival fredrickstein von musel de rolo iii #percival fredrickstein von musel klossowski de rolo iii #scanlan #scanlan shorthalt #tlovm scanlan #cr scanlan #critical role scanlan

[mielgf]

who was gonna tell me one of the most crushing parts of adulthood is the allusion of freedom, sometimes decisions are made for you and you just have to smile through it and try to be positive while screaming inside bc you thought you were finally old enough to make choices for yourself (not in this economy i’m not!)

#also hi i have not been on tumblr much mostly because Big Life things are occurring #such as uhhhh finishing my degree being forced to move back into my parents’ house going through a period of unemployment getting accepted #into a master’s program having a depressive episode and a whole bunch more! #today i’m leaving my uni house to move back to my hometown and i am… not doing very well #life has been so beautiful for the past two years #being a young adult is so fucking weird #i have a BA and am going to be getting a master’s and i’m about to return to my childhood bedroom.. #wtf is that #talk time

[caffeinatedopossum]

No one:

Me when the plans change:

#i camt fucking do this!! i am autistic !! #please ;-; i can do so much i can function so well in the right environment if you just TELL ME THE PLAN #in advance #i need time to process the new information #genuinely its so upsetting and for what? i thought i was going shopping today and i dont even WANT to go shopping #and yet the change of plans is freaking me out i feel like im gonna cry #and it makes me suddenly so depressed for some reason #idk what to do with myself

[rosenfey]

does anyone else here have several games in their rotation that they play at the same time or is it just me

#ambie.txt #I feel so bad for doing this because I literally don't know anyone else #i always see mutuals and friends focus on one game at a time and my brain considers that as the normal™ behavior #but I often tend to switch between games or play sth different for a day or two and then go back to other things #and idk idk I am always feeling like I'm doing it wrong and I should only play one game at a time #because I would get confused or it would break my immersion or whatev #idk it just feels proper™ to have one main fixation and when I don't have that and have several things to play #I feel like I am doing it wrong and then I get depressed and just. stop doing anything #I know this is a silly problem to have but I just feel like ass today and i have anhedonia and my brain likes to ruin things for me sometime

[the-adventures-of-dave]

I think this summer, in addition to building a new catio, I’m gonna try to get the cats out hiking more. This is just a big vent/ramble under the cut.

The last couple years we haven’t been out as much. A part of it is just mental health making it hard to Do Stuff, but also I’m apprehensive about going hiking on my own with the cats. I’m not really concerned about coyotes or bears or elk, but the prevalence of off leash dogs on trails still makes me afraid for my and the cats’ safety. I can do everything right and responsible with my cats and still have someone’s dog chase or attack us— both have happened before and will again if we go out. It’s just frustrating that other people’s irresponsibility and selfishness keeps me from enjoying time outside with my pet. I can only control myself- I can’t control someone’s “””friendly””” dog that is “good” off leash and *only* chases people for 15ft before going back to its owner. It’s not barking and chasing for 50 ft, so it’s fine right?

All that being said, I think I might try to do what I can to better prepare myself and my cats for encounters like that and actually get out again. I can tell Dave misses hiking and being outside, and my mental health has gotten worse staying indoors all the time.

Cat wise I’m gonna try to train the cats’ recall better this spring, and maybe invest in some shorter leashes to keep them closer by on walks. I was also considering getting a hard-shelled cat backpack and seeing if they’d like cycling. Dogs can’t kill them if we’re on a bike…

#this post is brought to you by: depression and the Instagram post I saw today where someone’s cat got mauled #ughhh this is all so frustrating #I USED to like dogs #I WANT to like dogs! #I like the idea of dogs #I like dog photos #I like my like 3 dogblr mutuals who are actually decent dog owners! #however I am now afraid of dogs #bc SOME people think it’s more important to let their dog run around off leash #than to keep other hikers safe and comfortable #I go to leash only trails. I go to no dog trails. I tell people I’m afraid of dogs when they pass by #what more do they want from me 😭😭 #all I want is for your dog to be walking nicely on a leash when it’s in eyesight #is that really too much to ask #i’ll probably delete this later #I’m just having Big Emotions #aughhh

[tianhai03]

guess who finally decided to watch the castlevania animated series with a friend despite having no knowledge of the games beforehand bc he saw one handsome guy in it (its me)

#ITS SO FUN we watched 4 episodes today and i was. so distracted whenever trevor is on screen LMAOOO #the amount of times ive said 'i like him' today bc trevor did something small or stupid is. ridiculous. #anyway he's so <3333 i like him i cant wait to continue watching when i have time #castlevania #trevor belmont #me whenever i see a guy who is probably depressed and is an alcoholic and is also broke: holy shit can we hold hands #i cant help being the man liker i am </3 #allyart

[whump-queen]

My art of Mizu from Blue Eye Samurai - my current comfort show

art & general taglists:

@whumpshaped  @whumpsday  @emmettverse   @a-whump-sideblog @whump-it-like-its-hot  @wolfeyedwitch @whumper-soot @unorganisedalienrubbish  @hidden-dreamland @whumpedydump @lonesome--hunter @ashh-ed @whump-in-the-closet @oriantthegiant @banditosong @feralwhump @jieunie-23 @whumpasaurus101 @morning-star-whump @whmp @captain-bo-bob-bobby @the-beasts-have-arrived @spooky-scary-vampires @burningkittypoet @veyroswin @painsandconfusion @skittles-the-whumpee @demondamage Art tag: @burntcoffeewhump @suspicious-whumping-egg

#after months of art block I FINALLY DREW SOMETHING!! #send help all I can draw is mizu #blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu #I am OBSESSED with this show I just kinda play it in the background while I exist #i can’t tell you the gender euphoria I get from this mf #my art #akia.png #akias art #sorry for the tag if you didn’t wanna be tagged - im just reallly exxited I finally drew something after being super depressed for months #so i’m going hey look at the little macaroni art I made today :>

[natreads]

I'm in Greece! I'm visiting my grandparents and will spend the next two weeks working on my novel, reading books and doing some work while sitting in their garden or patio

#nat talks #books #bookstagram #did I bring too many books? naturally #am I a little depressed? of course #BUT I'm having a good day today and I think life is all about those little good moments #also realize how lucky I am to be here #they're getting older so idk if I would get another chance to come here #especially since my brother's getting married in the middle of summer next year and so maybe they won't go to greece at all #who knows what will happen after that #because they spend half the year in sweden and the other half in greece #I found really cheap tickets too #gonna try to just live with my emotions even if they're sometimes bad #idk maybe I'll write more about it later #me

[yuukimiyas]

g’mornie!! ໒꒰ྀི ◜ ‧̮ ◝ ꒱ྀིა its another lovely day in april!! i hope you all have the v best day EVER!! <33

#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals! #tw mental health! #hi hi hiii ik i said i was makin my way back here !! & i am!! i just was hit w a lot of personal/emotional stuff these past 2 wks :’< #& i wanna jazz up my theme & do sm more on here !!! but the depression!! ໒꒰ྀི ◞ ‸ก ྀི꒱ა #i got a lot of super sweet askies & i bawled readin them w my bf bc i feel like a shell of a moot :// #i hope you guys aren’t too mad at me !! i do v much miss you all literally ALWAYS ໒꒰ྀིஇ﹏இ`꒱ྀི১ #i go into work today at 1 so i hope i can do stuff on here !! #i MOST DEF have inboxies to stop by!! ૮꒰ྀི ∩៸៸៸∩ ‎꒱ྀིა eep!! overwhelmed!!!! but i forever have sm love for you all!!! #i totes understand those who unfollowed/uninterested in my bloggie :’< but i hope to bring sunshine back to your dashes soon !!

[astriiformes]

The final assignments I need to finish for my science fair mentorship class are a lot of "Reflect on these readings we did about education and connect them to your own experiences in school" type prompts, and unfortunately reflecting on your educational journey when you are a two-time college drop-out who probably failed a class this semester is not a great time.

#like i also got some papers back today that i did very well on but #i just don't feel like a smart person anymore. like my self-esteem is terrible and evidence to the contrary doesn't help much #i'm just feeling sad and depressed and kind of like a fraud for liking academia so much when in practice i am not a great student #and these assignments are making me feel particularly stupid :/

[mihrsuri]

I keep trying to write an update and then being embarrassed about it and feeling like I’m trauma dumping on people by updating and I just..I know it’s on me to manage my crap, I know. I am trying (not very well but I’m trying) and it’s just…I don’t know. I don’t even know.

#please know i have thought about hospital but hospital would #genuinely make it worse (like I cannot even tell you how much worse) #i think I’m legitimately just…having a trauma reaction on top #of a jewish trauma spike #and dentists and having to move (I may have cleaned till I shook today also my arm #does not look great #i feel like i don’t actually verbally have the words #(i have tried not engaging i have tried engaging they both feel awful) #(hashem i don’t know would you even embrace me would you…) #(it’s not a meds thing (I take meds for mdd and I know what that looks like and this isn’t it) #(it’s hard to explain the difference between CPTSD and like a panic attack or a depression) #(except that I feel like I’m so so tainted and not in my body or if I’m in my body I’m in my body somewhere else #abuse cw #i didn’t ask for this cptsd and no tshirt was offered #this will disappear probably #UGH #(i am seeing my therapist tomorrow i just..i know i need to reach out to) #(to like my current landlords and ask if I could just pay for a cleaning service to come in) #(i know i need to be like ‘unfortunately my CPTSD is Fucking Terrible Right Now and I need) #(just a bit of grace apologies) #(i do not want my parents to know i do not want that) #(aside from the fact that I am already a burden to them anyway) #a stupid flop of a person i am crying thinking about how i had plans for kids and a wife and travel and…I’m nothing #(everyone else is something I’m not I don’t deserve grace lbr) #it keeps running through my head how many people i thought loved me want me dead #and it’s like I can fake it so well #(i don’t know I may be like sending words to people) #to run through the steps of not being alone #i’m truly sorry i am always not taking accountability and playing the victim and clinging to people #to get reassurance i don’t deserve that its a good person it isn’t it isn’t a person

[pfaerie]

is it too insane to ask someone to say something nice to me

#feeling quite low today! #i am trying to not be so depressed but christ