#i am still very emotional though

[kastillia]

i’ll save you again and again, however many times it takes

#sissel #yomiel #ghost trick #alright so maybe i'm not completely over this game #and maybe that quote is directed at someone else #but maybe it makes me more emotional to think of it this way instead #:^) #a guy in one of my discord servers was streaming this game #it reminded me how i had completely forgotten like everything about it lmao #i am still very emotional though #my art #obligatory reminder to: #please play ghost trick

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ough i wanna draw so bad but my arms are virtually Unusable... too much lifting and hauling... in other news i felt True and Intense Pining today for the soft, delightful, tiny pig beanie baby in a diner gift shop. she was a wonderful pink with a lovely purple nose...

#and make no mistake the strong emotion i felt was indeed pining. longing. Yearning. #gazed lovingly at her for a solid ten seconds in the checkout line #i will think of her often and fondly #leaving the diner without her Hurt Me. but i cant afford a new friend rn </3 #still i am sitting by the bright window and playing rain sounds while looking outside in anguish #alas... we were two ships passing in the night.... #absolutely unprompted #ough but really though i have to rest like. my entire arms on my desk #even just typing is making me take minecraft damage #Still I Am Going To Attempt Writing Because Now That The Work Is Done I Am Very Bored #maybe ill write some human au! i have Scene Ideas for it! #or ill continue to workshop lights out #probably work on act three... i cant decide which direction to go in with it #it'll end up in the same place for act four But. the road there... which turn will i make them take.... #depends on how mean im feeling. theres the kind version. the distressed version. and the anguish version #knowing Me i will probably choose the anguish version as the au's canon!

[flufflecat]

Got to stolen century in my relisten and started tearing up at work because of magnus carving the duck. Just me in the back room, crying over the dish sink for normal reasons.

#the adventure zone #taz balance #taz #it gets me every time #I was anticipating that scene all shift #and wanted to leave before I got to it bc I knew I would start crying and didn't want to cry at work ahfkahfkka #unfortunately I had to stay an hour and a half late bc yayyy labor day #I also started tearing up at merle with the church of fungston. for some reason. #merle has never really made me that emotional before but I guess now in my old age I'm more struck by his love of life #i understand you better now merle. as a twenty-something I really see the appeal in being able to love life despite the hardships #(this is a joke. I am almost 24 and do not think I'm old) #(I do find merles brand of optimism very good nowadays though. I also have a zest for life and a need to complain about things) #I managed to not cry at the lup and Barry duet though which I am quite proud of #probably bc I spent like half an hour watching lup animatics last night and got my tears out then #I'm having a normal time #normal as hell #most people probably cry over podcasts at their grocery store job #I think that's a standard experience #especially when those podcasts are from 7 years ago and you're still not over them #standard #fluffle talks

[sakura-code]

So my brain has come up with an evil, evil AU idea for Rain Code because it’s spooky month, and I am prepare for the mob that is no doubt going to come after me after I shared it.

So what if Yuma had died in the sub explosion, and was ‘revived’ as a Homunculus by Makoto?☺️😈

#master detective archives: rain code #rain code #master detective archives spoilers #rain code spoilers #master detective archives chapter five spoilers #master detective archives: rain code spoilers #rain code au #yuma kokohead #no I am not guaranteeing that I will post by the time spooky month is over due to classes and IRL stuff and flu season taking up my time #though I like to try since the series might be short #just a series of one-shots I plan to do #but yes I am very evil for this idea #might be dark mainly in terms of emotions and angst that will guarantee to come #still brainstorming by the way to make the AU work #ask away if you are curious #Homunculus Yuma AU

[irregularbillcipher]

watched the musical demon show (don't wanna name it so this post isn't in the tags) at the behest of an IRL friend and i can already tell this is going to be a piece of media where i absolutely cannot stop thinking about it, not because i really love the show as-is, but because it has so many individual components i really like and find incredibly fun or compelling, and i'm so frustrated that it doesn't come together for me

i think the main thing i can say about it as a show, setting aside some of the insensitive choices that were made that i really don't feel qualified to tackle or talk about, is that the entire thing sort of gives off this vibe of someone really excited to show you every single oc they made in high school and college and i very genuinely mean that in both the best and worst ways possible

there are some good hooks for season two though so i will absolutely give them that

#the vibe is just like... they are just soooo excited to get all their ideas out that it becomes... messy and badly paced #like there are so many moments that are cool or fun or emotional in a vaccuum but they don't connect fully y'know #because this arc or character was JUST introduced so there isn't proper build up. everything moves too quick #and it's frustrating because you can TELL that the people making this show love their ideas and characters #and i more than get thta! i am also someone with a lotta ocs i love to blab about #but i think they have been working with them so long that they #a. assume we are already just as attached to them as they are without always doing that work #b. assume we've seen all the supplemental material which. i have not #and i don't think that a professional show is the type of thing where there should be a barrier of entry that involves like #podcasts and comics and twitter threads and IC instagram posts about characters to do that emotional/lore legwork y'know #i love lore and supplemental stuff obviously but this should still be like #a satisfying experience for me a person who saw the pilot however many years ago and then has not interacted with the show or fandom since #idk man stuff felt rushed and messy and i wish i liked it more #it needed more slow moments i think. the two scenes where the group all drinks together (minus one awful joke in the bar scene) are like #the best in the show to me becase i actually believe these guys are FRIENDS. i wanna see them hang out more! #i wanna see them actually really grow to like each other organically!!! i wanna see them build connections and grow better slowly!!! #songs absolutely slap though. soundtrack is probably gonna be in my spotify unwrapped 2024 #i love me a musical and that inspiration is on its sleeve which i love #also imo the humor isn't great usually. it's very juvenile imo and sometime that works but it often doesn't #(for me at least humor is obviously SUPER subjective) #also tonally they have this 'have your cake and eat it too' issue which bugs me. it's exemplified by the v's (one in particular) #actually i could go on a whole rant about the v's if anyone is interested because god i have some Thoughts #and i think my issues with the v's (namely one v) encapsulates many issues i have with the show #despite all this rambling i actually did enjoy a lot of my time with it. i just don't think it was well-written if that makes sense

[aaronstveit]

hiiii tumblr 💕

#what a week i have had tumblr!!! #you may remember my new dog from last weekend! her name is back to foxy and will remain as such <3 #i have been sick this week and very miserable and i become an emotional mess when i am sick so i have been #EXTREMELY overwhelmed with foxy </3 #BUT !!!! i finally feel better today and i also feel better with my new fuzzy friend!!! #i have figured out what i need in my day to not be completely overwhelmed and i think i will no longer have any meltdowns about her #foxy is doing well and our other dogs are adjusting well to her presence!! i think she and bear will grow to be great friends #she still has her stitches from being spayed but when they come out next week she'll be able to play more & i think they'll both enjoy that #unfortunately i have gotten literally no reading done since she came to live with us so RIP to my readathon but that is okay!! in good news #i HAVE watched almost all of the good place this week bc it's what i watch when i'm sick & even though i'm not sick anymore i'm Invested #okay life update over it's almost foxy's bedtime so i must go!! anyway ily gay people in my phone <3333 #personal post

[pepprs]

i had a scarily bad depression moment (if you catch my drift) at work on thursday during a meeting where the topic of conversation and the things ppl were saying were directly (and slightly intentionally?) contributing to my distress and im past that moment now but i feel so haunted by it. by the thoughts i was having and the fact that i had them and the fact that i was witnessed in that moment but they didn’t know how bad it was. and im also feeling vulnerable to being back in that place again

#purrs #it is kinda amazing the amount of triggering things that happen every day and any one of them knocks the wind out of me but this is like. #4-5 a day at least and then like 5-6 hours of sleep in between another round. it’s not a good way to be in the world. but i am going to say #one positive thing which is that im proud of myself for enduring it and pushing forward even though it’s painful. like i am very strong for #doing that especially when i don’t have the emotional safety / resources i need and technically have never had them and will never have them #it’s important to remember that. and yeah it’s kinda like i shouldn’t have to be strong through all of that but the one positive thing i can #hang onto in this… well no actually 2. 1) i am very strong for surviving right now even though it’s just scraping by 2)one day it might not #be this hard. one day i might feel better. and even though it doesn’t feel like it and i keep having setbacks i am making progress towards #that moment. even thougu im scared to take some leaps im still inching towards the jump and that matters a lot. and other people can see it #even when i can’t. just not the people in that meeting apparently LOL #delete later

[badolmen]

I just realized that Jesse Pinkman’s address in high school was his Aunt’s house. He was already living with her instead of his parents by the time he was in high school. The timeline of her cancer and death is a little fuzzy, but it’s likely he had to care for her while attending school. If that’s the case it’s clear he didn’t ask for accommodations or even use his Aunt’s illness as an excuse for his poor grades (Walt was surprised to hear she had been sick). Combined with his obviously untreated ADHD, it’s no wonder he turned to drug use and failed to ‘apply himself.’

And to think that through all this - taking care of his Aunt, struggling in school - his parents didn’t help; either directly with his Aunt’s illness or indirectly easing his responsibility for her by hiring care givers…

#ra speaks #jesse pinkman #breaking bad #brba #skrungly from my meth lab… #I am feeling shrimp emotions #ALSO also idk how old Jake is supposed to be (I’m guessing middle school?) which would mean Jesse has been absent from most of Jakes life #y’know I used to be in camp ‘Jesse parents are probably good parents and people Jesse just didn’t have support systems elsewhere in his life #to cope with his neurodiversity in a system that didn’t accommodate it for expectations far out of his reach’ #but unless we get some clear revelation tha Jesse was bullshitting about taking care of his aunt while she was sick #his parents really did just. leave that to him. #and the way he accuses his mom of not doing anything for his aunt while she was sick…idk it just feels very real at least to him #*ticks another cell in the ‘jesse pinkman is trans and his parents had him move out to live with his trans aunt #because even though they’re supportive enough to help his transition and respect his pronouns they are still transphobic evangelicals #who can’t fully accept these people in their lives and are looking for excuses to never see them again’

[brainworm-blitz]

happy ace week to all the aces that were actually horrified/devastated to realize they were ace. btw.

I love u.

#asexual #asexual week #aegosexual #demisexual #i am speaking to all under the umbrella im just at work and have to be quick with tags sorry loves #if u got euphoria or validation or happy emotions on ur discovery congrats!!! super glad for u honestly #personally though i legitimately wanted to kms lowkey #like it was so incomprehensibly devastating to me #gritting my teeth and learning to accept myself whether i want to or not #idk it just seems like everyone else was relieved to hear it or something to that effect #it was just the 'first' (read: first one to be recognized) lgbt identity i ever found myself in #and yet even with everyone i see talking about experiences that ive never related more strongly to i still feel very Othered for it #i simply cant share in the joy. or at least im trying very hard to. #idk. im whiny. #brainworm posting

[and-stir-the-stars]

Suggestion for that idea of Michael hiding inside a Fredbear suit: Combine them. Evan is nice. Or he seems nice. At first. There is a slow horrible realization for Michael and the reader that this poor boy isn't okay. Evan finally has his brother's attention, finally has a brother who says he loves him and apologizes and Evan *refuses* to let Michael leave him again. ("The springlocks only hurt for a moment. Then we can friends forever.")

(post to which anon is referring)

OH that is so mean, i LOVE it

just like,, Evan's been isolated and alone for years with nothing but his own pain and fear. Then, finally, someone finds him, someone sees him! Not only that, but this person is his brother; his brother is empathizing with him and treating him kindly after years of Evan believing he wasn't worthy of such a thing, hence Michael's tormenting and Evan's eventual death.

Saying that Evan "isn't okay" to me implies one of two things: 1) that Evan has still been carrying around the emotional trauma that Michael's abuse scarred him with and thus is emotionally "not okay", or 2) like the other animatronics, Evan's spirit has been twisted into something that, if not outright malicious, then doesn't understand the reality around him or the consequences of his own actions and is liable to (accidentally) kill, and is therefore psychologically "not okay."

But either interpretation could easily loop back around to "Evan spent a long time in his very short life being tormented and abused and quite possibly believing he deserved it, and now that he's been shown a single ounce of kindness from someone he loves, he is NOT letting that kindness escape no matter the cost."

#anyway anon THANK YOU for the daydream fuel #currently thinking about the springlocks releasing on Michael (not very quickly or efficiently tho‚ since the mechanisms are old #and rusty and evan's never had very good control over his ''new body'' anyway) #and michael clawing himself out of the suit. he looks at the suit‚ blood dripping‚ and even though the suit #looks as lifeless as ever‚ he can feel that evan is still silently screaming and sobbing for him to come back #mmmmm... horrendously and beautifully painful. #also! anon!! this is my first fnaf ask and i am getting so emotional over it 🥺 #so thank yoooouu #it means more than you know 🥰 #the crying child #evan afton #michael afton #mike afton #fnaf #fnaf 1 #golden freddy

[lokiiied]

the pie chart version™️

this is so funny to me because it is not what i would have expected but at the same time i feel like it’s an authentic perception of me bc its tumblr so all you know of me is weird niche lore and my special interests and ig my general vibe/style of writing lol. thank you for participating.

#to me: i am izzy sun, ed moon, frenchie/roach rising lol

#do you guys know how honoured i am though that izzy got the highest votes like #in my heart and soul i am ed #shout out to the approximate three of you who saw the vision #but izzy is just…so cool and complex and a bitch but a bad bitch and a short king and autistic voice and doesn’t do emotions well and #is always there but not always appreciated and anyways im just flattered by the comparison #(yes it was MY poll and i was only asking you to choose from a handful of characters who i love very much and it was pretty mixed results #but still #that was fun i’ll have to do it again #lolll #ofmd #izzy hands #frenchie ofmd #jim jimenez #roach ofmd

[hella1975]

by pure evil accident taob zuko's current mental state is the exact same as the one ive been stuck in for the past few weeks and that's a bit funny to me. like i started writing this chapter months ago and knew what i was doing with it even longer ago and suddenly ive manifested it into reality. we are both facing the horrors rn

#when the angry character finally learns to acknowledge their rage not as its own problem but as a coping mechanism to the problem #& faces at once the relief of finding the source of all this anger & the horror of realising that the anger itself was never the final boss #and it leaves them in a depressive state where they actually MISS the anger because at least that was active and - in a sense - dignified #whereas this just feels stilted and mopey and like each day is passing and you're losing time doing nothing #but you cant shake it anyway and wow im no longer talking about zuko!!!! we stay embarassing ourselves over taob!!!! #like i realised just now while staring off into space stirring my tea that the reason this particular depressive episode has hit me so hard #(aside the fact it's been a pretty extreme one and my paranoia has rlly flared up to the point ive felt honest to god CRAZY lately haha) #is because it's so DIFFERENT to how i usually respond to feeling like this #like normally my temper gets very quick and i completely isolate and i get mean and sharp #and i convince myself that everyone is out to get me and/or hates me and therefore i must manipulate everyone in my life #and ofc NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE A GOOD RESPONSE. I AM NOT PROUD OF THEM #THEY ARE ALSO NOT NEARLY AS BAD AS HOW I USED TO BE HENCE I KNOW I AM GETTING BETTER #SLOWLY PAINFULLY WITH MY NAILS DIGGING IN THE DIRT BUT I AM GETTING BETTER ALL THE SAME #but STILL despite how awful those things are they're also very external. like i hurt the people around me in order to protect myself #and there's a dignity to that. there's more control there even if ultimately it's a lack of control causing it #like i have some fucked opinions from my upbringing and ik that like im quite a selfish person and it's bc i was raised to truly believe #that hurting others is always optimal over letting myself be seen as weak. like if my options are to hurt someone even someone i love #or let myself be vulnerable then sometimes i STILL will pick the former (it used to be all the time though <3 progress is progress) #and anger has always been sold to me as a very dignified STRONG emotion and it's how you're SUPPOSED to respond to badness #otherwise you're weak and a baby and pathetic etc etc #and just bc you know something is wrong doesnt mean you didnt internalise the fuck out of it anyway #like i will always see anger as the 'dignified' emotion and unlearning it regardless of that has been one of the hardest things ive done #('wow hella your own journey with mental illness is the literal exact same as taob zuko's-' i will hospitalise the both of us) #whereas currently ive just been sad and pathetic and oversharing to anyone who will listen and desperate for someone to look at me #and be like 'you're not okay' and to fix it FOR ME. like im not ANGRY im SAD and im not used to that response #AND GUESS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS THIS CHAPTER BY PURE FUCKING COINCIDENCE?? LITERALLY WHAT #like it's been happening for a few chapters that we're finally moving from anger to sadness on my unofficial healing chart #ever since zuko's outburst with hakoda when zi se had that tantrum #but this is the first time we see Sad Coping Mechanism as a response to a problem instead of Angry Coping Mechanism #taob updates

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

.

#update for my friends here #(and then I gotta go read aristotle lol) #I'm doing ok. I think maybe I've made some friends here. particularly a couple of girls on my hall who have been very kind to me. #wish my emotions would come back and be normal #and by 'normal' I mean not just random crying whenever I try to sit still and think for a few minutes. #there's so much happening. my heart is pulled so many ways. I'm not sure how to resolve any of it. #and I'm aching for resolution. #but I think God is trying to show me how much more I still haven't done or experienced #even though a lot of times I feel like I've lived all of life there is to live and there's nothing left anymore. #I wish I had more trustworthy people in my life who are older than me and can help speak into this experience. #I need to call my parents and siblings back home. I miss them. #I keep questioning my decision to come here. maybe I should've stayed home. #I don't know. maybe it's all an exercise in trust. #I'm still afraid most of the time I think. I wish I could put that fear to death. I wish I could just lean back and trust. #everything just moves so fast. #if any of my post-college (undergrad at least) friends would like to give me tips for slowing down and being intentional with life #and relationships and stuff #during this phase of life--I am extremely open to hearing about them! #love you all <3

[eg515]

how do people in big cities/more accepting countries even handle seeing openly queer people all the time?? the cashier at the store I've just been at is very obviously openly queer and I swear I almost cried. I honestly cannot remember the last time I saw another openly queer person, and it warms my heart and makes me tear up each time it happens

#am i still overly emotional after that ted lasso episode from yesterday? maybe #i still wish for things to be better though #like. i fully understand why i don't see more queer people. #i'm very much in the closet irl #and obviously you can't tell someone's sexuality by looking at them #but still #personal #eg rambles

[bookshelfpassageway]

the kindness of ao3 strangers has me devastated in the best way

#My posts #^he is submitting to the mortifying ordeal of posting fics off anonymous and in general for the first time in YEARS #i am not crossposting/linking it here though lmao I do not have the emotional fortitude for that yet. #But still… maybe it IS worth creating things to share with the world actually. #Maybe strangers CAN be gentle and kind. Or at the very least what I have to offer doesn’t abjectly suck. #It’s not perfect but it’s good enough to be enjoyed #(Also damn that’s what a fandom with a lot of activity looks like huh? WILD…)

[tamagotchikgs]

been trying to figure out just how i am going to explain how wildly my brain has been altered since the last time i saw my therapist && it make me realize all of this has happened in 1 month,,,,,,,,,,, it feels like . eons. eternity . in the best way possible

#normally everything feels so short #my anxiety just speeds me through it before i can even take a second to enjoy or even experience anything. everything is a dusty blur #but ive been ok #i've actually had good times ive mayb even started 2 feel close to a person for the first time in my life #feel safe w them #anxiety cant get me when im in their shield bubble #listening 2 em talk n even just Exist like woag ur the best thing in this whole world #just bbzbzbzbzbbzz #of course there r also the Horrors that do come w it just due 2 my avpd but . it still feels so different #and i like to ignore those because they make me feel like a monster i am not jealous noo i am so normal i am very normal #i am beating my jealousy side with a stick and i Will win #i have never and Will never act on it #if i ignore it they cant b real #also i do know it's illogical whihc helps #honestly though im used 2 it because ill get jealous if like . a stranger is nice to me and then is nice to some1 else. like oh. oh it was #all a rouse u want me dead u hate me #and it's like. homie. pal. that is normal. they're not abandoning u theyre not trying to set u up for humiliation #theyre just living their life #it's kinda weird tho because i will get feelings like that simultaneously with knowing i am Nothing i am a Horrid beast no one deserves to #even have to see #and knwoing i am not allowed to care about people and there is no shot in hell they will be even nice to me #so it;s just . a lot of things swirling constant;ly #painful emotions all around there is no joy #(except for rn. with them. i can b free from my brain)