#i argue that gay people just make better content and have better taste than straight people

[merpiko]

thinking about how one of my irls said i got the benefits of being gay without being gay

#im more into media with queer themes/relationships than straight media #but im straight. women kisser exclusively #i argue that gay people just make better content and have better taste than straight people #in most cases

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Why do you think Tomarry would work? I see a lot of people hating on it and the only response I ever see is that they come from similar backgrounds or people just like enemies to lovers. Also which horcrux do you think Harry would go best with (including Voldemort)

So, this is probably a more complicated question than you intended, but that’s because I live in bizarre head canon lands that few ever dare venture towards.

With that, let’s get started.

But What Do You Really Ship, Muffin?

First, it probably bears saying that I’m not really a Tomarry shipper. I know, I’ve written more than one Tomarry story, so if that’s not Tomarry what is? Well, remember that those Tomarry pairing tags are a filthy lie. October I committed the grievous sin of breaking up the Tomarry and throwing Tom at Harry’s mother. Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus is barely a Harry Potter fic in any capacity, and while the ship is the driving force of the fic, it’s also this nebulous, distant, thing that really shows up only in strange side stories where I try to make people laugh. When Harry Met Tom is probably the closest that I take seriously, but I also intentionally subvert all your typical Tomarry tropes for my own enjoyment. 

The only Tomarry story I’d say I’ve ever actually written is “The Burning Taste of Fire Whisky”. It’s a very popular story, sadly perhaps my most popular on Ao3, but I actually loathe it entirely. 

A lot of the time I feel like I just happen to have a Tomarry shirt on and then I suddenly became a subject matter expert. If you want the Tomarry opinions from real Tomarry people, I’m probably not the best person to ask. In fact, if you want really any standard answer about Harry Potter anything, I’m not the best person to ask.

Now, I’m not just saying this to be a hipster but to sort of give some background for why I’m going to give the answer I’m going to give and why it’s going to be 100% different from everyone else’s and yes, sometimes, I do think I came from Mars.

Will the Real Tomarry Please Stand Up?

So with that, the bottom line is: taking canon as JKR intended, completely at face value, Tomarry doesn’t work at all. This is because JKR fully intends a very flat, one-dimensional, and frankly quite boring Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle’s evil, Tom Riddle was born evil, Tom Riddle was evil in the womb because of rape. He is completely and utterly irredeemable and understands nothing of love.

Well, that sort of sinks the ship right out of the harbor, doesn’t it? A Tom Riddle incapable of love is one incapable of growth, especially in a romantic focused story. If you try to write it you just get weird sociopathic whump porn where Tom probably whips Harry in a closet somewhere.

Added onto this we get that, despite what she put down on paper, Harry is supposed to be a straight man. That aside, he’s also a righteous man whose understanding of things like love and friendship mean he’d never sully himself with gross Tom Riddle. Ew, what are you people thinking?

Well, what if we take canon just mostly as JKR intended? What if we just look at the characters the way she actually wrote them versus what she was trying to do? Still no dice.

Tom might now be capable of love, be a far more engaging character who can go somewhere, and be pulled out of a pit of rage and despair by someone but that someone ain’t Harry.

First, while I firmly believe Harry is gay (gay, not bisexual, compare his descriptions of Cho/Ginny to Tom Riddle/Sirius Balck/Cedric Diggory/Charlie Weasley, that boy pants after Tom Riddle and Cho’s kiss is “wet”) he’s also a much worse person and much dumber character than JKR intended. It’s really the first that damns the pairing.

I have a whole giant post on how Harry’s a little yikes but the long and short of it is that while Harry thinks he understands friendship and love he’s also someone who will cut out his friends at a moment’s notice if he feels remotely slighted, uses and sacrifices them for his own ends, gleefully uses unforgiveable curses when given the opportunity, and is the kind of guy who would cut someone up in the bathroom, leave them to bleed to death, and only really feel bad about it when it seems he might get in trouble for it.

This Harry ending up even with a Tom who could potentially be redeemed would more likely lead to, well, weird psychopathic whump porn where Harry tortures Tom in his basement to make him pay for all the horrible things he’s done while Harry claims he’s the most moral person ever because his mother loved him.

So, yeah, no Tomarry for you.

But Wait, Didn’t You Say You Believed in Tomarry?

What I believe in are archetypes.

Remove what Harry’s supposed to be, remove what I think he actually is (one maladjusted, violent, dude with a whole lot of anger issues), let’s make Harry what perhaps JKR didn’t even know she wanted: one of those rare fundamentally good heroes who warps an entire story with the strength of their inner nobility.

Harry Potter is meant to be a story about love and friendship. Now, it’s not actually, and we sort of end with Harry being Jesus and none of us are sure why. Except that he apparently forgives Dumbledore and Snape for brainwashing him to be a kamikaze agent. They’re the bravest men he knows. But let’s pretend it actually is a story about love and friendship.

To me, the strongest story of love we could possibly have had in this world is the redemption of Tom Riddle. Here is a man who was supposed to have been irredeemable since birth, he has done many horrific and unforgiveable things, grew up in extreme hardship in a society that spits on everything he ever was, and is mired in bitterness, despair, and rage. Beneath all that, Tom Riddle has given up hope in the world and is now content to burn it down himself.

Harry, through the nobility of his spirit and integrity of his character, somehow managing to redeem Tom Riddle is not only a fascinating story but a very good one at its core. The fact that they are tied together by destiny as well as tragedy, that Harry houses a shard of Tom’s soul (and I do so love horcruxes), only makes it more so.

This is the kind of story that carries epics, and that is why I gravitate towards it.

Now, do I change Harry up to do so? Good god, yes. I wouldn’t say any Harry Potter I have written is anything close to the Harry we know from canon. Some are closer than others, but they always in some way deviate. That said, from what I’ve seen almost nobody writes the actual Harry we remember from canon, so this is a very standard practice I can get away with, without too many people calling foul.

Ultimately ending in tragedy or in the full redemption of Tom: either works with these base characterizations and the world is your oyster.

What About All Those Other Arguments?

I’m not going to get into this too much except that I wouldn’t argue Tomarry works for the reasons you list. At all.

On the similar backgrounds, the fact is Harry and Tom don’t have similar backgrounds, JKR just says they do because she likes that trope (and so do many of the readers).

Harry and Tom have dark hair, they both came from abusive homes, but that’s where the similarities start and end. Upon entering the wizarding world Harry is treated very very very differently from Tom Riddle.

Harry, grows up in this weird sort of pseudo poverty where he dresses in rags because the Dursley’s hate him but he never actually has to worry about money. When he gets to the wizarding world he can afford everything he wants. He can buy a new wand, he can buy new supplies, he can buy all the candy off the trolly cart. Money’s not an object to Harry, is barely even a concept.

Tom Riddle is presumably on scholarship and money is everything to him. He buys a new wand but likely all his clothes and books are second hand. He can’t buy whatever candy he wants, probably can’t afford gifts for his peers, Tom is very aware of the haves and have nots.

Harry similarly never has to worry about a career. He never gets that far, fearing for his life so much, but the fact is that Harry has enough money that he doesn’t actually need to work. More, who would turn down the great Harry Potter? He wants to be an auror, is afraid he might not qualify, but it’s not really desperate.

Tom Riddle is to the world an impoverished muggle born. He tries for the Defense position and is turned down mostly because Dumbledore threw shade. Dumbledore tries to make it seem like Tom desperately wanted to work in this weird shop in London’s magical back alley, but probably that was the only position Tom could get (everything Dumbledore ever says, especially in those pensieve lessons, must be taken with a large grain of salt). Everything else goes to friends, family, and purebloods.

Adding to this, Harry has this glowing reputation. Now, Harry might not like it, he might want to be just Harry but the fact is that everyone has heard of him and most people worship the ground he walks on. Doors are open to him everywhere. His first introduction to the wizarding world is from a man who loves him and gushes about Harry as a baby.

Tom Riddle is someone with a muggle last name, who comes from a muggle orphanage, in other words he is nobody from nowhere. (For reasons I won’t get into here I find it very doubtful Tom ever revealed he was the heir of Slytherin until he became Voldemort and let Tom Riddle fade into obscurity). His first introduction to the wizarding world is some asshole lighting all his stuff on fire because the matron talked shit about him.

Harry wants to stay at Hogwarts because the Dursleys are abusive. Yes, this is terrible, but Tom wants to stay because Nazis are bombing London and Dippet says, “So sorry, Tom, no exceptions. Enjoy those luffas!” Harry’s concerns are never treated with the same disdain.

To make a long story short, they do not have similar backgrounds, at all. To say they do is utterly laughable and not much better than saying “they both have dark hair, they have so much in common!”

They both came from abusive homes, yes, but even the nature of those homes were very different and when they went to Hogwarts they were worlds apart.

... So much for not getting into it, eh?

As for Enemies to Lovers, well, it’s a trope and people enjoy it but it’s not my jam. I could go into why, but I think I’ve said enough.

Which Horcrux Do You Think Harry Would Go Best With?

We see so little of the individual horcruxes I’m not sure I can really take a stab at this. I sort of just make up their personalities as it suits me every time I write them.

With that I suppose I’m partial to the one in Harry’s head? Given that he has a front row seat to Harry, has seen Voldemort’s tragic demise, I think he’s in the best position to end up with Harry in a meaningful manner.

Especially as, if you think about it, he could represent the very last of Tom Riddle’s humanity. The single shard of humanity that remained in him until the bitter end.

#ask #anon #tom riddle #harry potter #headcanons #tomarry #archetypes #redemption #enemies to lovers

[deafmatteo]

hi hi so first i really love your writing, it’s so comforting and lovely, and i look forward to every little bit of it!

and idk if you’ve already answered something like this but i was wondering about your thoughts on skam france season 5?

hello, thank u! 🖤🖤🖤

and i have talked a bit about skam france s5 when i was watching it live but im more than happy to talk about it again & put all of my thoughts into one post JFJSJD.

let me just put a disclaimer here for abuse, both personal & what was shown in the season. also adding a read more because this got LONG, i am so sorry. i talk a lot </3 (ignore the spelling errors, i literally woke up and saw this anon and jumped out of bed to answer dflkgjkdlg)

also! i talk about deafness as a disability in this but that’s my own personal experience & what was written into the season. we know arthur sees it as a disability because he was raised in a hearing society as a hearing person. not all D/deaf people believe this!! this isn’t universal.

first things first, i just wanted to let people know these feelings come from a very personal place. i lost my hearing similarly to arthur — i was beaten as a young child and as the years have gone on and i’ve grown, my hearing has gotten worse. i was hard of hearing with mild to moderate hearing loss in both ears and now i call myself deaf because i have severe hearing loss in my left ear & i am completely deaf in my right ear. (don’t worry about being apologetic or anything! i’m very open about how i lost my hearing because although it’s sad & traumatic, it’s talking about how trauma and disabilities are often more intertwined than people realize. you don’t ever see a disabled person thriving in their natural environment. you see traumatized disabled people learning how to survive.)

i don’t have problems with how arthur lost his hearing. i think it’s a very important story to tell & it’s one that does occur — even if people don’t recognize it. it added to the fear and isolation he felt during his season because he was suddenly extremely disconnected from his peers and the people he called his best friends.

i also absolutely ADORE noee and camille. having a Deaf* woman who was as sassy and blunt and straight-forward as she was is a good thing. people often talk about how D/deaf individuals can come across as rude or unattentive or too blunt and it can be true but when people often talk about it, they do it in a rude/offensive manner! noee did it in a manner that wasn’t stereotypical and felt real. she also had the distain towards hearing people because they continually traumatized & belittled her and they showed that in a way that you knew was justified. she had been hurt by these people and she knew what arthur was experiencing, hence why she was so warm around him. having a Deaf love interest who wasn’t a hearing-people pleaser or someone who needed approval from hearing people was so good because it helped add layers of her own identity that the audience may not even realize exists.

camille as well. having a hard of hearing gay (queer? i can’t remember what he labelled himself as) person on screen without fetishism or trauma porn was refreshing. that doesn’t happen and seeing it was?? amazing. he was able to have fun, be himself, etc. also him acting as a connector between noee and arthur is a reality as well. he exists inbetween both of their worlds and while it’s clear that he is comfortable and okay with it, it’s a reality that often stems into feelings of anger and hurt. (as shown in arthur!) it’s good to see a hard of hearing person who doesn’t feel ostracized from the Deaf community & or the hearing community. he’s just vibing!

the isolation that arthur felt. the lonelines, the pain, the fear—all of it is a reality of the situation he was in. even with his friends attempting to support him in the ways they knew how, he still felt alone. having noee and camille there was such a good!! good thing!!! to have. the way noee criticized his friends, the way ARTHUR eventually yelled at them (especially lucas, like wtf was up his ass), the growth of arthur from clinging onto his fantasy world and accepting himself. i geniunely enjoyed these aspects.

NOW ONTO MY CRITICISMS.

my biggest one is the abuse clip. it was absolutely unnecessary for them to include the audio (and the shadowing) of arthur’s violent abuse. i understand they needed to potray his dad’s behaviours but there were many other ways to go about it that doesn’t re-traumatize people. i rarely rarely get triggered by things due to desensitization & repression and this made me extremely nauseous and it caused me to spiral into memories of my own abuse. yes, i understand the story of arthur’s dad being the villain and contributing to the trauma. no, it did not need to be done in this way.

also the way it was brushed aside & arthur forgave him after the car accident. i know it’s contributing to the cycle of abuse and it will continue after the seasons have passed but i think it should have had more fear, confusion or anger. we could see that arthur hated his father, just by how he constantly attempted to fight back and argue. i understand that it was him acting from a place of survival and trying to mediate to make things calmer but this is his perspective—we could have felt the underlying emotions or seen a brief moment where arthur let his anger take over when he was alone. the abuse was written solely for hearing people. it was trauma porn. it was used as a way to make people feel sorry for arthur and to weaken him. it wasn’t written as integrated into the plot as it should have been and was brought up only to deter the plot away from his cheating. it was one of the things that made it clear the plot was more written for hearing people than for deaf people.

(again, it’s not the actual story i’m criticizing. it’s how they integrated it.)

the second was noee using her voice to essentially beg arthur to love her. using her voice was a moment of vulnerability and fear that they could have either: a. used in a different manner or b. not included at ALL. i am an oral deaf person—i was raised in a hearing environment & i went to speech thrapy for many, many years. i use my voice a lot. however, whenever i am without my hearing aid and i am tired, i don’t often use my voice because i am insecure about my deaf accent.

noee doesn’t use her voice at all. she has talked about how using only sign language gives her power and stregethnes her identity in a way that the hearing world would never be able to. it was a pivotal moment of her own identity and growth and they threw it out the window to tell arthur she loved him. he rejected her so she used her voice, something that reminds her of her trauma and pain, to beg him to love her back.

another is how alexia said that she wasn’t wired to love disabled people. i love alexia as well, except for this alone was enough to hurt my opinion of her. it’s a reality of abled people—they often act like loving a disabled person is more work and view disabled people as less than to avoid seeing them as potential lovers/friends/etc. my main problem is the fact it wasn’t ever properly addressed and they used it as a plot device after she had been nothing but loving and supportive to arthur during the beginning of his journey. she was so, so loving and caring and they could have used to as a way to talk about how relationships and perspective changes rather having her just be straight up ableist.

when arthur first got his hearing aids, he got smaller ones that were less visible to avoid having other people see. this is a big example of internalized ableism and is a very important point but they never touched on it again. i think it would have been more personal and monumental of his growth to have him go back & change the hearing aids he uses to better aid him in his day-to-day rather than aid his desire to be hearing-passing. i just wanted to see continuation of this.

the love triangle. ABSOLUTELY USELESS. i love both alexia and noee as love interests. they are well-developed women who both had vulnerable moments in the season where they talked about their insecurities and were vulnerable and still had arthur reject/use them both. this is more of a fandom criticism but the love triangle was used solely to demonize noee while they continued to put arthur on a pedestal. the season could have gone either/or with them as love interests or not at all. the season was meant to focus on his journey as a now disabled person and the love triangle took up a large portion of that.

(don’t think i’ve forgotten about people calling others fatphobic/biphobic for preferring noee as a love interest)

this isn’t entirely a criticism but a good point to note. i don’t think skam france had a plan in regards to season five when they casted arthur but he should have been played by a hard of hearing person and there should have been foreshadowing in the earlier seasons for this. i think arthur’s actor did a fantastic job with the content he was given but it would have been a bit more personal if played by a truly deaf/hoh person. noee’s actress talked about this! she said how good of an opportunity it was for season five to occur because it’s extremely rare for deaf people to get opportunities and casting designed for them. having a main actress talk about this and still having the main actor being abled is a bit? bad taste. i just think it’s a product of lack of planning, is all.

ALSO THE CAR CRASH????? this isn’t a big criticism, i’m just like HUH? me & arthur really out hear being deaf and getting hit by cars ig. arthur kinnie

*definitions that add as to why i use deaf & Deaf in this piece.*

#skam france #also wlw noee? she’s a wlw idc #connor answers! #tw // abuse

[flyingstar360]

Bittersweet Memories

So, Happy Thanksgiving and I’m really sorry for Alex angst/ooc. There’s a little bit more adult-ish content in it,  and by that, I mean we have boys kissing, mentions of teenage drinking, a few colorful words I may have forgotten to edit out, and mentions of some pretty serious homophobia topics. Also, I’m straight, so I’ve never had to come out or anything, and this is my first time writing openly gay characters. Hopefully, I did okay, and I don’t offend anyone! Any way, it’s a long one, so sorry!

Bittersweet Memories

              Alex twisted his drumsticks between his fingers. Julie and her family weren’t home. She told the boys she was going to go volunteer with her dad and brother, but honestly? Alex’s anxiety post Orpheum had been at an all time high. Between secret meetings with Willie, trying to avoid Caleb and save Willie’s soul, band practice and their growing fan base, and the fact that the holidays were coming up? Alex felt like one of the strings of Luke’s guitar, right before it snapped.

              He knew Thanksgiving had always been Reggie’s favorite holiday. It was the one day his parents didn’t scream all day, because there was just enough distraction and alcohol to keep them from going after each other. He and his brother would play flag football and watch the parade with their cousins.  The delight was practically oozing off him as he and Luke were curled in front of Julie’s laptop, rambling on about the musical acts performing. Ironically, it was a show about hell, or something?

“Dude if musicals had been like this? Yo, I would never have given you a hard time about them.” Luke said to Alex, looking up from his spot on the ground.

              Luke’s relationship with Thanksgiving was a little more complicated than Reggie’s. It wasn’t his favorite, but he didn’t hate it. Plus, now that they were dead, Luke had never been closer to his family. Even though they had no idea Julie was actually helping him leave little clues around for them to know he was there with them.

              “Are you gonna go see your parents today?” He asked Luke.

              “Already done. Julie helped me leave a little message for my mom.” Luke grinned.

               Alex rolled his eyes. “Please tell me it has nothing to do with cranberry jelly.”

              Emily Patterson made the best homemade cranberry sauce Alex had ever eaten. The Thanksgiving he’d spent at the Patterson’s was one of the best meals Alex had ever eaten. But Luke, for some reason, didn’t like the cranberry sauce his mom made. It was one of those fancy ones, with real cranberries and orange in it. To Alex, it smelled and tasted exactly like he always dreamed the holidays would. Sweet, with a hint of spices. But no.Luke wanted processed cranberry jelly. Alex remembered seeing the two of them arguing about it the last Thanksgiving they’d been alive. Luke had run away a few weeks later, and they’d died in July.

              “Julie got me a can of cranberry jelly to leave on the counter. Mom’ll know.”

              Alex hated canned cranberry jelly. All he could think about was the way it had clung to his button down shirt the last Thanksgiving he spent with his parents. He remembered the sounds of the plates crashing, the way the glass pie plate had shattered as it hit the wall and smashed next to his face, and the way his father’s voice spit out the words as he- No, Alex didn’t want to think about it.

              Alex hated Thanksgiving, actually.

              It was two Thanksgivings ago- or two Thanksgivings before he died, instead. His dad’s coworker had come over with his family. Alex didn’t mind. Mr. Marsters’s son was a little older than him. And he was cool. Seth Marsters was a baseball player at the fancy private school in town. He was class president. He was handsome. He liked good music. And he was honestly really nice. Alex never minded spending time with him, and their parents were good enough friends that it happened pretty frequently. The two had ended up in Alex’s room while their dads talked work and their moms finished the dinner and drank wine. Sometimes they’d play Super Mario Kart on Alex’s Nintendo and the TV he had in his room. Other times, the boys just sat around and talked and listened to music.

              “Okay.” Seth had said as he opened the tape deck Alex had in his room. “Don’t laugh, but I made you mix tape with some of the other songs I thought you’d like. I would have burnt you a CD, but Dad wouldn’t let me use the computer, because he was too busy with work.”

              Alex grinned and flopped himself across his blue bedspread as he watched Seth fiddle with the tape deck. Alex didn’t have a lot of friends. His anxiety made it hard to make friends at school. So, the guys in band were his best friends- and so far, the only people who knew he was gay. Luke had actually been the first guy Alex ever kissed- after they’d snuck a bottle of something that had made Alex’s eyes water and throat burn out of Mr. Patterson’s liquor cabinet. Reggie would turn up at the backdoor in the middle of the night sometimes, with cuts or bruises Alex never questioned but would clean up nonetheless. And Bobby would show up at lunch with extra food packed for the guys, and his mom always made sure Alex had something without nuts in it. It was that kind of stuff that made Alex feel normal. And not like a freak. Even though he knew he was different from everyone else.  But besides the guys, he didn’t feel comfortable with almost anyone else. Except Seth.

              “Okay, but I can’t promise not to laugh until I hear what songs you picked.”

Seth grinned back and hit play as he plopped himself next to Alex, resting on his elbows, face to face with Alex. It took everything Alex had not to blush as Seth went on and on about why Nirvana was a better band than Poison. Nodding dumbly, he didn’t even register what was playing- until he heard a familiar voice whose CD was hidden behind his copy of The Hobbit on his bookshelf.

              “I’m sorry, is this Whitney Houston?” Alex sat straight up. Seth was the one blushing now, as he fumbled to skip the song.

              “Yeah, it’s dumb, I just-“

              Alex reached out to stop him. “Dude, I love Whitney Houston. She’s got a killer voice.”

              Seth turned a shade redder than before. Alex had never seen him flustered at all before. Seth was normally the one all put together, and Alex was the anxious mess. It was honestly pretty endearing, and Alex felt the butterflies in his stomach.  “I heard this on the radio and I kind of thought of you instantly.” Seth said quietly. “It just.. well. It makes me think of you every time I hear it, I guess.”

              Alex just kind of blinked for a moment, processing what that could mean, as Seth watched him carefully. But Before Alex could really say anything, Seth leaned in and pressed his lips against Alex’s.

Oh.

OH.

Alex closed his eyes as Seth wrapped his hand around the back of Alex’s head and pulled him in closer. His lips were soft and Alex thought he could taste a hint of Chapstick, and root beer. It was a million times better than the clunky teeth and lips kiss he and Luke had shared. This was like a movie kiss, in Alex’s opinion. The butterflies in his stomach, the way his heart was pounding- suddenly he felt like he really got why the guys in the band were so obsessed with girls  Being able to have moments like this, feel like this, without anyone judging you? Without anyone thinking you’re spreading a deadly disease? It felt almost as good as playing music.

              “And I will always love you-“ Whitney’s long hold of the note drowned out the sound of Alex’s mother’s heels clicking down the hall, but not the screech she let out after pushing his door open and seeing the two boys’ moment.

Alex wouldn’t forget that sound. Or the sound of the front door slamming as his Dad sent Seth and his parents away without even eating.

              “Dad, it’s not his fault.” Alex said as his father stormed back into the dining room where Alex stood next to his mother. As his dad started to yell again, Alex cut him off.  “Dad! It’s not his fault. I-I kissed him back.”

His father froze, eyes wide, face purple. Veins were bulging on his neck. Alex hadn’t meant to say that.

              “I’m gay, Dad.”

He sure as hell hadn’t planned on saying that. He took a deep breath and continued. “Look, I know it’s upsetting, but I’ve known for a while and I didn’t know how to tell you guys. I didn’t want to disappoint you, and-“

              That was when the glass pie plate with his mom’s famous cherry pie hit the wall next to his face. Alex ducked to avoid the plate of cranberry jelly that followed it. His father only stopped hurtling dishes at Alex because his mom stepped in between them and told him to leave the house. He ran out, shirt covered in cranberry goop splatter and cherry pie filling. He must have looked like he’d murdered someone when he’d shown up at Bobby’s house. Bobby’s mom brought him clean clothes and let him spend the night. After that Thanksgiving, Alex noticed Luke’s parents looking at him strangely after church. Reggie’s parents didn’t let him come over anymore, not that he did much anyway. And Seth got accepted to a “boarding school” that Alex had heard whispers about. He never saw him again.

~

             “Alex?” Julie stopped just inside her bedroom, by the door. Alex jumped up from where he was sitting by the window. Somehow, during his trip down memory lane, he’d wandered into her room, absent mindedly tapping on the bongo she had by her window.

              “Ah- Sorry. Boundaries. I know.” He mumbled, putting the bongo back on her windowsill.

Julie shook her head and sat on the edge of her bed, opposite the chair Alex had found himself in.

              “It’s okay. Carlos told me he heard drumming coming from in here and went to distract dad. When I didn’t see you in the studio, I just figured you went to spend Thanksgiving with Willie or checking in on your family or something.”  She looked at him intensely and he shifted uncomfortably. “Are you okay?” She asked quietly and reached her hand out to rest on top of his. It slipped right through him, and he pulled away, embarrassed. Here she was, trying to be a good friend, and he was lying to her and being an anxious wreck again. He started to protest, tell her he was fine, when someone knocked on her door. Ray stuck his head in.

              “Hey, niña.” He smiled at Julie. “Pizza should be ready in about ten minutes.” Julie nodded. “You did some good work today. Thanks for coming to help out.” She smiled back at her dad.

              “You know it’s always been my favorite part of Thanksgiving.” She told him. Alex noticed Reggie and Luke peeking out from behind Ray. “I’ll be down in a minute.” The guys slipped through the door as Ray closed it, both standing awkwardly.

              “We’re sorry, dude.” Luke started. “We kinda both forgot that Thanksgiving isn’t a great day for you.”

              “I got really excited because it’s always been a good day for me. I didn’t mean to brush off your feelings.” Reggie shifted his weight from side to side. “I just really love the parade and I heard there were puppies after it now and puppies are way better than football and-“

              Julie cut Reggie off. “You don’t like Thanksgiving?”

              “You work on Thanksgiving?” Alex countered. He knew he was being a little short, but there was no way he could handle Julie looking at him the way other people did when they found out he was gay.

              “We volunteer at Marsters House every year. We serve dinner and hang out.” She said. “And you’re avoiding the question.” Alex stiffened in his seat when Julie mentioned the word “Marsters”. Luke and Reggie went pale. Julie noticed all of it. “Please don’t tell me the Marsters’s stole music or something from you guys too.” She groaned. “It’s bad enough knowing Carrie’s dad isn’t who I thought he was, if Seth and Cory are liars too, I couldn’t handle it.”

              Alex was pretty sure he was going to throw up. Could ghosts even throw up? He tried to take a few deep breaths. “Julie.” He whispered. “I need you to tell me where this place is.”

              She jumped up. “No. No way. Last time you guys were upset and I told you where something was, you got sucked in by Caleb and I almost lost you to those stamps. No way!”

              “We’re going and you can’t stop us!” Alex raised his voice at Julie. “Wait, what are you doing?”

              Julie was grabbing her sweater. “I’m not letting you go alone. I’ll take you there. But you guys aren’t going alone!” Alex looked over at his bandmates.

              “Okay.” He said.

              “Dad?! I just realized I left my phone at Marsters’ House, I’m gonna go grab it!”

~

              It sounded like the aftermath of Thanksgiving dinner from just outside the building. There was yelling at football games and possibly video games. There were lots of people inside- most of them around his age. But the man who opened the door was decidedly not his age. But it was absolutely Seth.

              “I’m so sorry to bother you, but I think I may have left my phone in the kitchen?” Julie lied without a blip in her demeanor. Alex was both impressed and terrified. Looking over at Luke, Alex would be willing to guess Luke felt the same way. As they went inside, Alex knew he wouldn’t be going to the kitchen. Instead, he turned down the hall, and followed adult Seth into an office. On Seth’s desk was a photo of him with another handsome man- blond. Seth had a type.

              “Alexa?” Seth said, as he settled himself down at his desk. “Play Alex’s Mixtape.” Suddenly, Whitney Houston came from the speakers. Alex couldn’t breathe. Someone grabbed his hand. Julie. She squeezed it tight.

              “Thanks Seth! Happy Thanksgiving!” She yelled over her shoulder as she pulled Alex away. Reggie and Luke were waiting outside. He brushed past them for a few yards, pulling his hand free of Julie’s grasp, before having to stop. He crouched on the ground, arms wrapped around his knees, rocking back and forth as sobs ripped from his throat. He felt the rest of the band catch up, wrap their arms around him. He turned his head and sobbed into Luke’s flannel. Reggie rubbed circles on his back. After a few moments, as the sobs subsided, he realized Julie was murmuring something to him.

              “Alex, it’s okay. You’re okay. We love you, and you’re okay.”

He inhaled and wiped his face and looked right at Julie.

              “I’m gay.” She blinked a few times. Gave her head a little shake Looked at Reggie and Luke, who were holding their breath next to him.

              “I- Was-was I not supposed to know that?” She asked.

All three boy’s jaws dropped.

              “You knew?” Alex asked. “How long have you known?”

              Julie shrugged. “Since like, day one? Anyway, you talk so much about Willie too, so I just assumed that-” She stopped suddenly. “Seth. You’re Seth’s Alex. Oh my god.” She stood up and took a few steps back, then started pacing. “There’s no way. None. I don’t understand.” She looked at the guys. “Seth has seen the video my dad made for Edge of Great. How did he just not notice?”

              “I noticed.” A voice came from behind her. Julie whipped around. “Your dad called. Wanted to make sure we found your phone. I told him you had left already, but I figured I’d check to see how far you’d gotten. Didn’t expect you to have company.” Seth stuffed his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

              “Can you see them?” Julie asked.

              Seth shook his head. “No. But I mean, you’re talking to air. And it sure sounds like you’re trying to talk Alex out of an anxiety attack. Lord knows I’d done that a few times.” He got quiet for a minute. Alex stood, and walked slowly until he was face to face with Seth. He had more wrinkles around his eyes than Alex remembered, but of course. He was twenty-five years older. “Is he here?”

              “Tell him I tried to take the blame.” Alex turned towards to Julie. “Please.”

              She nodded. “He says he tried to take the blame. He didn’t want his parents to blame it on you.”

              “I mean, I did kiss him first. Anyway, they were going to send me for conversion therapy no matter what.” Julie winced. Alex looked back and forth between Julie and Seth.

               “What’s that? They sent him to a school. That’s what they told me”

              “No, Alex.” Julie said quietly. “It wasn’t a school.”

              Seth sighed. “Of course, that’s what they told him.” He looked at Julie and the empty space around her. “Um, where…”

              “Oh! Um, A little towards your left, just kind half turn, and he’s right in front of you.”

              Seth shifted and looked at Alex. “It wasn’t a school. It was a group of people who thought that, through a bunch of therapy and medical procedures, they could make me not gay anymore. Clearly, it was not successful, as I am still a flaming homosexual.” Julie giggled at that, and Alex couldn’t help but smile as he saw Seth’s face break into the familiar grin he once knew. His heart ached a little as it faded away. “I was worried they’d sent you to one too. And when I heard you had passed away from a bad hot dog, I worried- well, I was scared that it was a cover-up. That you’d… Anyway.” He trailed off. “I have no idea how you’re here. Or why. But I’m happy. I love Colby. He reminds me of you sometimes. You’d have been great friends. We met at a Whitney Houston Concert in DC when I was in college. He spilled his beer on me during I’ll Always Love You. I said you were sending me a sign.”

              Alex blinked back tears. “It was the best kiss of my life.”

              Julie smiled. “He said it was the best kiss of his life.” Luke pouted and crossed his arms as Julie’s eyes got wide.

              “It is a long story.” Alex laughed, as he wiped away some tears.

              “Want a ride home?” Seth asked Julie. “Something tells me you’ve got a lot going on.” Julie nodded.

~

Later that night, there was a knock at the studio door. Alex did not expect to see Julie, in her pajamas and with a blanket and pillow outside the studio.

              “Hey! Are you okay?”

              Julie nodded. “We’re watching a movie.” She held up a copy of The Bodyguard on DVD. “I knew my mom had a copy somewhere.”

              As they snuggled on the couch, Julie’s back against Luke’s chest, her legs draped over Alex’s lap, Reggie sitting on the ground in front of them, holding Julie’s hand and leaning against Alex’s legs, he realized something.

              Maybe Thanksgiving wasn’t so bad after all.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #Alex #alex jatp #I am the cruise ship of willex #even though I gave him an OC in this #i love my dead gay son #I love my emotional support ghost band #fanfiction #Julie and the Phantoms Fanfiction #Thanksgiving

[finderskeepersff]

31. Part 5

Getting out of the Range Rover and Ehtan drove off with Celine, I came to the Clover Club, the police can’t stop me going here right. It’s late night and it’s busy so I can just sit here and wait it out, also I know I am being followed by more people than just the police. Walking towards the bar and it’s weird, it’s like Raphael knew I was coming “come on over here” he waved me over to his VIP area. He has a lot of bitches here but I guess he can keep me company, some guys moved out of the way so I could sit down “welcome back, what do you want to drink? On me” it doesn’t cost him anything “erm just anything, I am not fussed. I actually wanted to ask, you have a worker. He is called Samuel, how do you know him?” Raphael shrugged “he came to me and say he can do some work, he is good at killing. He kill someone in one shot, good man” the woman placed a glass in front of me, it was a shot of something “is that it? Fill the glass more” I pointed out “you say that but ain’t he old for all of this?” he looks it “but he only there when I need him, you know how it is. Cassius, next week. I am going France. Come with me, it’s all on me” rubbing my hands together “probably, I don’t know where I will be. I have a lot of shit going on right now” the woman bought my glass back but filled this time “that is what I wanted, thank you” I came here because it is so public that what can they do, I am being followed and I know it. Ethan doesn’t know so I was like you go and I stay here, I am here and I can see them from here. These niggas think I am scared, getting up from my seat. Downing the contents of the glass and walking off “be back” I said to Raphael “I am being followed so call for back up” I said to Raphael before walking off.

Leaning against the bar “what would you like to drink?” the bar staff asked “two bottles of Corona, Raphael will pay for it” watching the guy walk off to get my drinks “Cassius” I have not heard his voice, it’s deep actually. He was a child when I did what I did “Pete” looking to the side of me “you got some balls to be out here on your own” he assumes I am alone, I have people here too. I had to laugh “you don’t know me at all” the guy came back with the drinks “bought you a drink, it’s a reunion for us both right?” grabbing the bottle “I should throw this bottle on your head nigga” turning to Pete “you’re just like your dad, stupid. I don’t know how he became what he was because he is stupid, you think I give a fuck about the Latinos? Ok they get in the way but do I care? You found me, good. Now what?” he hates me “my revenge for my dad, you killed my dad” licking my lips shaking my head “I did, and? Your dad showed me love, I even met you, I even met yous sister and mom. I ate at your house. I made your dad vulnerable and then just like that. I take his business and I create an empire, you think I would let you come and just kill me. Now if you wanted to kill me you would wait. Get a little more knowledge on how I would do this, you” I pointed at him “you’re in deep, you made a mistake when you came for me. A big one” drinking from the Corona bottle “I have been watching you. I have been following you, I seen your new home, your new girl. I was on the same flight as her. I know where she is staying, you do anything to me then my boys will do something to her friends and her, she fine. I think I would like to taste her before you know. You two both argue a lot, couldn’t pick her up could you?” he laughed “I offered her a ride but she was so busy telling me she is pregnant and engaged, I didn’t care. Maybe you should take care of her before I do. Checkmate” Pete walked off, I had the urge to attack him but what use would that be “you playing with fire Pete, it’s me that funds your mom and your family. How else does your mum’ pretty mouth eat. Women are women, but I have always known where you was and it’s been me that funds your family. Ask your mom” placing my bottle at the bar. Pete ran at me and grabbed me by the neck, I had to laugh “go and ask your mom, I fucked your mom in your dad’ bed. Ask her, you better start calling me dad” two big men came behind him and pulled Pete back “it’s ok” I said laughing.

He is playing with my life, I have been playing him his whole life and he think he is one step ahead of me. I fucked his mom so he better fucking watch his little ass “I am being followed from both ends, you fucking take the boys and you remain outside Mia’ apartment Ethan, you tell the boys there to be outside that door. Pete and I just met, he has been following me” I said down the phone, hailing a cab down “Cassius, the fuck are you doing alone then!?” Ethan shouted “because I am the problem, they are following me. The Latinos won’t do shit because the police are around me but then again the police wouldn’t mind me dead, just go there and you protect them. I am going to a hotel” opening the cab door “take me to the Park Hyatt, New York. thanks” closing the cab door “Cassius you are playing with your life, seriously. Why didn’t you say? You fucking stayed quiet!?” Ethan shouted “what is it?” Myles is with him “Cassius has been getting followed, he didn’t say he just said drop me off at Clover and leave him. He is now in a cab being followed and he is telling us to go to his girl. Pete has spoken to him?” they are so dramatic “Cassius? Hey!?” Myles said down the phone “not you, look I am taking the fire from you guys. I am going to a hotel and I will be there” they are so emotional “Cassius no, you need to be with us! Nobody cares if you die but we do. You can’t go to no hotel! They will get to you in your sleep, nigga fucking stop being stupid. Please, just come here” disconnecting the call, I have told Ethan what to do so he has no choice in that.

I know I shouldn’t have said to Pete about his mom but I did, I did have sex with his mom. She was never happy anyways so there is that, he will be even more angry that I wasn’t going to show that Sofia means a lot to me, I can’t. I am playing with fire but least I am out of the way, I mean a hotel is never the best because they will still come to get me and make up some lie that they are with me. There is always a way to get here but I ain’t come to sleep, I came here to be out of the way. If I am thinking logically, the Latinos won’t care for Pete. He just needs people, if I think about it Raphael knows people so he could actually know them. Pete is on his own, he is using my money. I bought him up with my money and this is what he wants to do, looking up at the ceiling. I just need to buy them out, when I mean them I mean the Latinos. My phone started ringing, I was hoping it was Sofia but no, it’s Raphael. There is so much going on right now “hello” answering the call “what happened there?” he asked “just some trouble, do you have any connections to the Latinos in the area? I mean your people may do” it would be good “I do, I mean not me but Samuel he does. He has family, well it’s his wife family are in that, I can help?” this is not good “you tell Samuel, meet me at Park Hyatt now. I want the Latinos on my side. I have never had issues with them but that dickhead Pete is trying to make it an issue” the Latinos don’t bother anyone, I have had no issues and if they wanted to kill me they would.

My eyes shot open gripping my gun in my hand, I must have fallen asleep. Getting up from the bed with my gun in hand, I am still half asleep hitting into the wall as I turned the corner. Looking through the door viewer, I sighed out seeing Samuel, he knocked on the door again. Placing the gun behind me as I unlocked the door, dragging the door open “come in” he slowly walked into the room, closing the door and locking the door “it’s late” he said walking into my hotel room, I sighed out “business is business as you know, I mean you get more rest than us regular workers” placing my gun on the table “sit down” I gestured “Raphael told me some things, I am aware” he sat down “of what exactly?” sitting down on the edge of the bed “they want you dead, you’re not a liked man at all. I get why, I mean you’re a young boy. You did what you had too to get yours, which creates enemies. I remember your name” he pointed at me “I was like you, just didn’t kill the boss to get what I want. But I have heard, and they had made it clear. There is a bounty on your head, were you aware?” I shrugged “who doesn’t want me, I don’t get how I am walking still” rubbing my face “you have a good team, the people in your circle are good. They ride for you Cassius, loyalty is key. People are scared of you that is why but I am aware of the bounty on your head” Samuel pointed at me “it better be a high number that bounty” I mumbled “and I can’t help, I mean that is too close to home for me. I told Raphael and he said for me to come here and tell you personally, I think you can do this alone” nodding my head.

A bounty on my head, makes me wonder if it’s the streets or the police that want me dead now “you said about Grace Bundy, I am here now. I want to know how you know her? If you trying to use my past against me, I don’t care. That is my past” I had to laugh “in this situation I would care but I don’t, maybe when I care enough. I will tell you” I have other things to think about “if you die, I would like to know before you do” he got a point “I just know her, I erm saw your face. Not to sound gay, I am not that. But I saw your face, every feature is just Sofia. Your reaction to hearing Grace’ name just confirmed it. You look like your daughter” Samuel stared at me like I swore at him “I don’t have a daughter, yes I know Grace” he pointed at me “I mean you do, you have a clone of you” I sniggered “I don’t” he said straight up “it’s ok, you didn’t want to know her but she wanted you. It’s not my business but it hurts when Grace told Sofia you ain’t want her, look I don’t care. That is on you but you’re missing out on an angel” Samuel shook his head in confusion, he put his head down still shaking his head, he is awfully quiet “but anyways, thank you for coming. I guess you can go now” I don’t need him here “Grace did have a baby, I know that. She had a daughter, we split. I wasn’t with her then” I don’t care for his story right now, I can’t think because of him talking.

I sighed out “what ever are you on about?” I said in annoyance “Grace and I met, she came here from Barbados. I fell for her, you have seen her. We dated for years, she was and is beautiful still. She was always not there at times, a little crazy but island girls are just that. She assumed I cheated, she went crazy on me and she told me that she cheated on me. And she started hitting me, and then told me she was pregnant but it didn’t add up because I was away then so I was like no. The girl was born, I know it was a girl. I went to see her, she was white, very white baby and she had nothing of me. She was a baby, even at the hospital Grace acted crazy, she got out of bed telling me she hated me because I cheated but I didn’t, I was doing my thing like you. She told me she cheated on me, she told me the time and place and it got to my head. I am not proud of it but I snapped and I pushed her and she fell on the floor and I got arrested, so yeah. I stayed away, she was bad for me. I still think about her, actually come to think of it. I did years after, I saw her, in the mall. I was with my new chick and there was a little girl with her. Grace attacked me again, and was saying some wild things. He left us, men ain’t shit. She had it in her mind I cheated, I never did. But she kind of did have a crazy side. I just stayed away” he shrugged “but yeah, I admit I loved her. I ain’t had anyone better than her either” he laughed, he seems like he is still in love “I think Grace lied to you, I think she lied to you to get back at you. If you paid more attention to the little girl you saw, you would see your clone, I don’t know you my nigga but I saw you and I saw her. I ain’t saying she look like a dude because she don’t, she is beautiful. Aight, you see her and you tell me this ain’t yours, I want you to tell me it ain’t” grabbing my phone from the side, Samuel didn’t say anything but stayed quiet.

Walking over to Samuel “I would be shocked if you don’t think it” placing my phone in front of him, I love the picture Olivia took of Sofia on the day I proposed to her she looks way happy. Samuel just stared “can I hold your phone?” he said as he took my phone from me anyways “oh my lord” he said under his breath, placing his hand over his mouth “I can’t” he held my phone out to me “I say the same thing when I see her” taking my phone and it started ringing, it’s weird that she is calling me so late and now. I mean she took her time to call anyways, answering the call “hello?” I ain’t about to be all cute with her, she took her time “where are you?” She asked “out, why?” sitting down on the edge of the bed “why are you out? I thought you would be back, I am sorry. Just please come back, I have a headache” she has an headache “don’t worry about it, I’ll see you in the morning. Go to sleep and stay indoors” her stubborn ass would do some dumb shit like go out “I won’t, I love you” she still sounds moody “love you too” disconnecting the call, Samuel looks like someone just stole all of his money “I didn’t know, my heart hurts” looking up at Samuel “don’t have a heartattack, we don’t have the time for that here so if you want too, you can go” I have been trying to get him to go “are you with her?” he asked “she is having my baby, Pete mentioned her. I have boys out there watching, I am here alone because of it but it’s cool” I shrugged “can I see the picture again?” I am really just wanting to move and go, unlocking my phone “here” placing my phone on the bed, Samuel got up “her name is Sofia?” he is so busy on this “Sofia Bundy, that is her. Grace hates me because I am a bad guy like you” Samuel picked my phone up “besides the eyes, she look just my momma, oh my god. Why didn’t I know. Can I have this picture? I am not a bad guy, if I knew. I knew this was my seed, I would take care of her. She is pregnant by you?” he asked “yeah, look family reunion needs to end. I got shit to do. People to save, and mine” getting up from the bed “I will help you, if I can see Sofia. I have to see her, she is beautiful. I have four sons. I never had a daughter” taking my phone from him “now you want to help? Sofia wants me to leave this life” placing my phone in my pocket “maybe when you’re dead, why you think I am still doing it” don’t I know it “I need to see my child be born, just to see it first. I need too. I need to kill Pete, myself. If you can control the Latinos. That would be good” pointing at him, I need that actually.

“Come with me, forget a cab” Samuel said “please” he is being nice now “I need to contact a few people, I can get this dealt with. Get them to turn on Pete, I can do this. Just need to drive there first. I just parked around the block. So I am friends with the heads, Latinos mind their business but when they need too they will. And you know that, how long have we all worked as one, but this bounty on your head. You know we don’t set those things on the streets, this is higher than us. Maybe the FBI, maybe they sick of you” I am just walking on thin ice, like I am really judging everything I see “I want you to go back, I mean back to Sofia. Best place to be, I take you there” I mean has he heard Sofia’ mouth “I mean good idea but I am going to kill Pete, Sofia is ok. He was near Sofia so he must die, he was in Atlanta too. You get Latinos on my side, I kill Pete then we will see which motherfucker want to fuck with me!” I would like to see, Samuel gave me a disapproving look “you need to settle down” is the only thing he said to me. Seeing a car abruptly stop and I ain’t stupid “split!” I shouted pushing Samuel as I turned back around the corner and ran, looking behind me as I ran seeing Samuel just behind me. The car sped up, ducking down as the person fired shots after shots, I jerked forward feeling a bullet pierce my skin on my leg. Ducking behind a car that was on the street at this time of night, Samuel hid also behind the car out of breath. Grabbing my gun, hearing the car reversing “you got a gun?” I asked him, I don’t want to play this game in New York, there is cameras everywhere “you bleeding on your leg” the car stopped, the car is just there. Cocking my gun back, hearing out for movement. This is only a handgun so I don’t have much at all, closing my eyes hoping to god I can do this in one go. Looking around the corner of the car and I just took it, aiming for the masked guy in the back seat with the gun, I took the shot aiming for his head. His head moved and his body went limp over the edge of the car window as the car sped off “that was impressive” Samuel said, licking my lips just thinking. They was preoccupied by something “let’s go, your leg is bleeding. I know a guy, he can stitch you up” hearing the sirens “let’s go” I limped a little moving towards the car “we need to get you to your people, you need your people around you. Until I can contact the people I can” dragging my leg, better if I do this.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfiction

[jemandrr]

Thoughts on the NSFW Purge

So, like, I’m nobody and my thoughts are unorganized, but hey, it’s my opinion time.

First of all, I don’t consider the concept of sexuality to be inherently corrosive, including for minors.  I can’t personally draw a line that defines what age someone is suddenly ready to explore their sexuality.  It’s probably a futile endeavor, to be honest, and there’s always drawbacks to any way you could handle it: If the parent controls it, then they could groom their child, oversight of any kind really could facilitate forced out-ing, etc. (Though, sex is not the only kind of abuse that can be harmfully ideologically groomed for by an adult who can control what media their child has access to...).  And no matter what, kids find porn.  It’s basically an open secret.  Adults’ job is not to enable it, is all.  When I was 11, like half the dudes in my grade talked about it at some time or another. 

It’s a complicated subject and it isn’t tumblr’s job to navigate that, as the laws are what dictate that.  I didn’t go into that to say there was an easy answer.  It’s just relevant.  For someone whose value system considers keeping porn out of the hands of kids to be of paramount moral importance in order to keep the chaste purity of the generation that will guide the future, or something like that (i suspect they don’t actually think that far ahead, reacting simply to the negative stimuli rather than any particular consequence), then I can see why they’d consider this a move worth making moralistically.  I don’t believe in that consequence, and I don’t consider porn (or porn-adjacent content, given the restrictions) to be a negative stimulus, so that tells you a bit about how I weigh the situation.

And on that, I want to note that economics are not on my mind.  Verizon will act on money.  That’s not something I’m equipped to argue with.  I don’t care or know, and I have no idea if they’re financially in the right.  But plenty of people agree with the move, or are only bothered by the side effects and juxtaposed inactions (Which isn’t to say that I disagree with these latter two points, nor that there aren’t people who use them to support beliefs similar to mine).  I may infinitely begrudge Verizon, but my quarrel is with those people, who are moralistically opposed to me.  Verizon has no beliefs, so there’s no point arguing with them on that axis.

So there’s a couple points that I want to add/complicate on top of the more popularly discussed narratives, which I’ll do in whatever order.

The first of which is the relatively underwhelming presentation of most tumblr blogs.  Blogs aren’t designed to shower you in content; as each element is curated, there’s generally more focus on individual posts than on other sites that allow nsfw.  On the creator side, that means posts are longer, images and videos are better supported, and both of these things tend to be expressed in preview without needing to open the post separately.  That’s a totally different user experience that also influences content creation/curation.  Other websites have different primary goals, which is why migration is both difficult and imperfect.  This general concept also applies to things like tags (which are used for a variety of things on tumblr.  The existence, implementation, AND COMMUNITY TREATMENT of tags on other sites are all different).  

These types of implementation details can change the tone of things a lot.  It can be a lot more personal, connecting you with a person and allowing you to see other things they’re interested in, or how they communicate with people.  Plenty of blogs with porn on them aren’t just porn blogs.  

There’s also massive interconnectedness due to reblogging.  And it’s not the same as having a video in your playlist that you saw in someone else’s, or retweeting.  There’s context and captions and the choices people make to add to, remove, or replace them.  It serves as an extremely easy way to find yourself in similarly-curated content, it gives you a better sense of how active a post is than a view count.  Its also harder to be a purely passive commenter.  It’s easier and more beneficial to like/reblog things you enjoy and incidentally create a porn side-blog if you already have an account, than it is to have a half-decent pornhub or twitter account.  In that way, you get more vectors of exploration and more curated content.  Sure, you might retweet all the porn you like, but it’s really not going to be the same for a user to navigate (though the vector of exploration aspect is there, sure).

Also, images and short clips just seem to flow through tumblr a lot more smoothly than the alternatives.  There’s also something to say about the centralization of videos and stuff.  If pornhub is working, then there’s one video, and you go there.  On Tumblr, you don’t *go* anywhere unless you want to.  

Next, Curation of sex content is super important.  I’ve yet to find twitter or pornhub accounts that approach it quite the same way, though I admit I haven’t looked too hard.  Anyways, tumblr porn blogs are generally suited to an individual’s taste (or an aspect of it).  This is actually super important.  As a byproduct, you can often avoid overexposure to the branches of even niche fetishes or focuses that you’re not into.  There’s a lot of often subtle variation in taste and extremism that is absolutely huge when navigating this.  Not just for sheer ease-of-fap-ness, but also in learning about what you’re into, what your limits are (and what they might be in real life, often different from what you’re capable of getting of to the idea of), etc.  Further, any minority or people into something niche (and harmless) has something to gain when it comes to representation and stuff.  I’ve found it very difficult to really find good content along specific lines on other platforms.  (Though I’ve already outed myself as a deviant, I ain’t giving examples).  And when I do, it tends to be super mixed in styles and extents.  

Now, in both of the above categories, I touched on exploration (both the ability to do it, and the enabling of a range of things to explore that can be meaningfully different).  And that’s, like, super super important and adjacent to the ultimate point I intended to come to.

And that’s (indirectly) because allowing pure porn to mix with casual subjects in the same platform makes a massive difference.  That’s the crux of it, to me.  The idea that you go to some sites for porn and some sites for memes and that there’s no point in intersection is what gets me the most.  That’s certainly a sustainable way of doing things, and most people probably get by in that manner.

But it absolutely affects peoples’ behavior on that platform in a unique manner.  Like...say what you will, but a forum where people can just argue while nudes are being posted along the same thread is fundamentally a different experience and you can totally expect that the topic and way the conversation goes will be influenced by that.  It’s a different type of being open, that influences behavior and interpersonal communication.  Talking to someone who knows what you’re into, even if you’re anonymous, is unique.  It’s a vector of understanding.

And this type of unique environment can be huge for communities centered around a sexual orientation.  Which is where my life comes in.  I’ve been on places that mixed politics, cute things, funny things, and gay sex for...a long time.  Longer than I was even aware I was gay.  (Not because I knew what being gay was and I was in denial, but because there was such a lack of narrative around homosexuality that even when I came across things that were explicitly gay, it never crossed my mind.  I also didn’t think of my life in straight terms either, really.  Though I had crushes, and urges, and looked at things, it took a long time for me to actually consciously realize that there was this part of my identity that..existed.)

I have no idea how long it would have taken me to realize, let alone explore, my identity without that kind of place.  It really helped a lot with learning how to process and express my sexuality and what that did and didn’t mean about the rest of my life.  I got to know a lot of people, learn a lot of things, hear about a lot of life experiences, good, bad, unverifiable.  Major influences, and I won’t pretend that often times these major influences were enabled because i was a horny teen with a crush or who had a particular interest in someone’s taste.  (Oh gods, I still hate the fact that I can now say teen entirely as a retrospective)

To some extent, what I know about boundaries and self control and respect and consent is because of overpursuing people (aka being a creep) and being shut down.  Part of the reason I prefer to be compassionate than cynical is because of interactions and stories that crop up because sex and sexuality often lead to very earnest conversations about the darker side of life.  I had and have no way to verify that other guys weren’t just, y’know, being overdramatic or ‘attention-seeking’ but it was conversations like that that made me realize i didn’t want to be the kind of person who overlooked these things if they were true.  And it was there I decided that even people who just want attention probably need it.  You see different sides of people in that kind of community.  I’m not saying anything in this paragraph is the only conclusion to the same situation, just that I question what opinions I would have without these experiences.  I regret that I have so little memory of a lot of these things that I know shaped me.

Exploring your sexuality is huge on its own, but the other opportunities to explore yourself that are opened up by being in a place where you can freely express and explore your sexuality.  That’s big too.  

And the place I had a majority of those kind of experiences, at some point years ago, got a separate channel to put nsfw.  And that just...was a fundamental change in the community.  Especially when old people left and new people came who hadn’t been socialized in the old ways.  It’s hard to succinctly describe, which is why I’ve simply said it’s unique so many times above, but things change a lot when you just put the nsfw elsewhere, even if you contact the same people between the nsfw and non-nsfw areas.  Not just in obvious ways, or even ways that really have a visible cause and effect.  But I’ve seen the shift a few times and I do believe it to be profound.

That’s the reason that I, someone who has never put anything visually sexually explicit on my blog, utterly protest against this change, and why after the change goes through, I’ll let my queue run, and I won’t just leave, but I fully expect and intend to gradually migrate off.  And I hope there’s some platform out there to catch me by the time it’s tapered off to nothing.

#tumblr #purge #sfw #opinion

[gainhope-blog1]

do velvet n yang!

the ships sail far cap'n / a. / @hoardofheroes

who hogs the duvetmaybe yang bc velvet doesn’t need a duvet she has yang to be spooned by !!

who texts/rings to check how their day is goingyang, just bc velvet is introverted by nature so texting just to ask about their day doesn’t occur to her, but yang’s thoughtful and sweet, and velvet gradually picks up the habit

who’s the most creative when it comes to giftsvelvet!! she tends to think hard and long about what she can do to make this gift really special for yang. she’s poor, so the gifts are usually handmade, like a bracelet ( it’s got dust compartments in it, so it’s Practical too!! ) or a small film collection of their memories 

who gets up first in the morningvelvet, not bc she’s a morning person but bc she’s used to waking up early to make breakfast for her siblings back at home. plus, she likes to take pictures of yang’s sleeping face,,

who suggests new things in bed(  : i get the feeling they’re both pretty creative when it comes to the bedroom. velvet suggests stuff like ropes and blindfolds more, while yang suggests wearing some fun things and toys 

who cries at moviesn e i t h e r . yang is STRONGER than this and velvet is more like.…… dead inside watching sad stuff

who gives unprompted massagesyang yang yang!! she’s really good with her hands and she has this nice control of strength that gets rid of the knots but feels super relaxing at the same time

who fusses over the other when they’re sickvelvet….. she goes into Caretaker Mode and she knows yang tends to slip into that role too around her friends so just let her do all the work for once!!! she’ll make you a nice soup and brush your hair and put on anything you want to watch. this is Your day and she’ll spoil you

who gets jealous easiestvelvet. girl is really insecure about herself so she gets really touchy and initiates more bc she doesn’t know how to say ‘ pay attention to me. ’

who has the most embarrassing taste in musicYANG ON THE OCCASION. velvet is all soft indie music and doesn’t know what eminem is

who collects something unusualvelvet, who takes anything and everything home for pictures when art calls for it. yang spotted a giraffe head in velvet’s room at one point

who takes the longest to get readyi feel like velvet by a small margin, just bc she has long Long hair she needs to comb through while yang’s curls are natural and she wakes up b e a u t i f u l every morning

who is the most tidy and organisedi’ll go with yang on this one bc velves gets into The Zone and she goes MANIC with photos and yang has to pick her up into her arms and kiss her calm

who gets most excited about the holidaysboth of them do!! it’s a wonderful time to visit and spend time with family, and they’re both very family-oriented. they’ll have their own lovely date half of the day and then maybe have a family gathering together

who is the big spoon/little spoonvelvet little spoon yang big spoon !! yang likes nestling her face into her bunny ears

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sportsyang. velvet isn’t competitive at all and she’s content watching yang slaughter ppl in video games ( and yang gets a kiss on the cheek whenever she wins so that’s even better motive to win right (; )

who starts the most argumentso o f i don’t think they argue much if at all. it’s more like concerned discussions where velvet isnt being communicative ( or forgetting to take care of herself ) and yang expresses her worries or frustrations. yang is really good at approaching the matter maturely, so velvet doesn’t slip into her shell when they talk

who suggests that they buy a petyang, who is a pet owner and suggests it to velvet who’s never had the opportunity to care for one !!

what couple traditions they haveat the end of each week they go on a date to a new place they haven’t went to before, bc velvet used to avoid large public areas or exploring in general, but yang makes her feel safe and she always enjoys discovering new experiences

what tv shows they watch togethertbh they put anything on when they cuddle but the tv tends to open to a rwby style animal discovery channel

what other couple they hang out withany pairs from team rwby or cfvy bc they’re all GAY !

how they spend time together as a couplethey always fall into this habit of cuddling no matter where they are. parks? cuddle. home? ofc couch cuddles. battlefield? cuddle while checking for injuries after they kill the grimm.

who made the first moveY A N G. girl’s a GO GETTER and flirted her way into velvet’s heart

who brings flowers homethey both do,, yang with straight up bouquets and velvet picking pretty flowers she sees

who is the best cookoh…. this is a hard one. they’re both really good at taking care of people so i feel like they’re both just amazing chefs and ppl Die to be invited to their dinners

#hoardofheroes #( meme ) ɪᴛ's ᴀʟsᴏ ᴀ ɢᴜɴ. #the more i write about these two the more i love them renee ;__;

[musicprincess655]

“He’s hiding something.”

“Totally hiding something.”

“It’s my unending hatred of you both,” Jun told his sisters. “Now can you both fuck off?”

“Aww, Jun-chan!”

“You know we’ve just both missed you.”

And the thing was, he had missed them too. Jun loved his sisters, of course he did. But he was clearly studying right now, and he wanted to be left alone.

His oldest sister gasped.

“You didn’t meet a boy, did you?” Jun was completely sure he hadn’t changed expressions, but Mika knew his reaction anyway, because she always did. “You totally did!”

“He did?” Satomi asked, delighted. Jun had always been closer to her, probably because Mika was just so much older than him, already leaving the house by the time he was old enough to get close to her. “Jun, who do you think you are? You’re supposed to tell your loving big sister these things!”

“First of all, I’ve met a lot of people. Kind of comes with the territory of being in a new city,” Jun said. If he could just stay calm, they would – maybe – leave him alone, and he wasn’t studying for nothing. “Second of all, I don’t owe you my life story. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“What’s his name?” Mika asked.

“Is he hot?” Satomi continued. “Tell me I raised you with enough taste to pick a hot one.”

Jun dropped his head onto his textbook. They really weren’t going to back off, were they?

“His name is Yuuki Tetsuya,” Jun sighed. “He’s model hot. He plays baseball.”

“He doesn’t look like some meathead jock, does he?” Mika asked doubtfully, but Satomi waved her off.

“No, baseball players are usually more lean muscles, and have you ever seen their asses?” she gushed. “They’re always tight from all the sprints. You could bounce a coin off them.”

“So if we’re done objectifying people…?” Jun trailed off, but without much hope either of them would get the hint.

“How did you meet?”

“Have you confessed yet?”

“What’s he look like?”

“Let me talk!” he growled. They both stopped talking at once, looking at him expectantly. “We’re not dating. I haven’t confessed anything. I’m not even sure he likes guys.” At the twin unimpressed looks he got for that, he grudgingly continued, “it’s an affront to men everywhere if he’s not at least bi.”

“But what’s he look like?” Mika insisted. “I’m not ready to trust Satomi’s word that he’s not some meathead jock that doesn’t deserve you.”

“Hang on, I have a picture,” Jun said, scrolling through his phone.

The last time they’d hung out before Jun left for winter break, Yuuki had pulled him into a one armed hug and snapped a picture of both of them, half hidden in their scarves from the winter cold that had blown in. Jun had yelled at him for it, but he’d also insisted on being sent the picture.

He looked away from his screen to see Mika and Satomi staring at him.

“What?”

“You have a selfie with him?” Mika demanded.

“Friends take selfies together,” Jun defended himself. “He’s the one who took this.”

“I can see his arm holding the phone, yeah,” Satomi agreed. “He totally wants to bang you.”

“You don’t even know him!”

“Don’t have to,” Satomi said, tapping Yuuki’s face. “Look at how he looks. How he’s smiling with you.”

“His mouth is hidden in his scarf, how can you even tell?”

“Because I have eyes, and I can see his.”

“He’s a cutie,” Mika said. “Tetsu-san. I approve.”

“Does he go to Seidou as well?” Satomi asked.

“No, he’s human,” Jun told them reluctantly, because every word he spoke was more potential future blackmail material. “He goes to Meiji.”

“Ooo, a smart boy!” Mika squealed. “What’s he study?”

“Classical literature.”

Mika and Satomi groaned, twin tones that were just close enough to be dissonant.

“If you don’t marry him I’m disowning you,” Mika threatened.

“If you don’t marry him I will,” Satomi continued. “He’s perfect. You think he likes women too?”

“I have no idea what he likes,” Jun said. “I haven’t asked.”

“Use context clues!” Mika snapped. “Your brain is for more than taking up space between your ears!”

“Or just confess!” Satomi suggested. “You don’t even go to the same school, you can just cut him out if it goes badly.”

Jun had been content to let them continue the conversation at their own pace, but he was cutting it off right there.

“I’m not going to do that,” he said, sharper than he intended, but also just the right level of harsh. Mika and Satomi shut up immediately. “I like being his friend. If…when, fine, when I confess, I’m going to make sure we can still be friends if he doesn’t feel the same.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t be angry,” Mika offered. “He looks like a decent guy.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure the gay part won’t bother him whether he likes me or not,” Jun said. “The werewolf part might, though.”

Mika and Satomi looked at each other. The silence was uneasy.

“You haven’t told him you’re a werewolf?” Satomi asked, voice uncomfortably small.

“Of course I haven’t told him,” Jun said. “I didn’t want to send him running screaming.”

“He might not,” Mika said. “He might like you for you anyway.”

“Like Takumi did?” Jun regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. “Mika, I…”

“Don’t.” She took a steadying breath. “I know you didn’t mean it to hurt. It still did, though.”

“I’m really sorry,” Jun said, not entirely sure how they’d gone from playing around to fucking up so bad. He knew better than to mention Mika’s fiancé. Former fiancé. Former because she’d hid the truth for years, and only proven why she was right to hide it when she finally told him. “I shouldn’t have said that. Takumi didn’t deserve you if he didn’t want you like you are.”

“Damn straight,” Mika said. She bravely didn’t let her tears fall. “You understand that not everyone hates us, right? There are still some people that are fucks, but it’s 2018. The Shape of Water came out. Monster fucking is mainstream.”

“And what if the monster would rather cuddle?” Jun asked.

“Then the werewolf better realize he’s not a monster and has words to ask to cuddle,” Mika said. “Don’t sit up here all break feeling sorry for yourself. You’re not helping anything.”

“I’m not…” But he kind of was. “I do actually have to study. Give me an hour and I’ll come listen to all your work stories.”

“You’ll like the one about the businessman from a competitor I wrapped around my finger and then broke,” Mika said, accepting the olive branch for what it was. She and Satomi left Jun to his work.

Which wasn’t really much better, if he was honest. He’d been kind of hiding from his sisters, sure, but now that he was focusing in his limited time, the stress settled back in.

Because he had to take exams almost as soon as he went back to school, only a month left after break. And as he was now, there was absolutely no way he was passing practical magic.

His grades in every other subject were almost an insult, after that. Over ninety percent in all of them, and a rare perfect score – seriously, who got a perfect one hundred percent in a university class? – in Takashima’s class since she reset for the second semester.

And none of it would mean anything if he failed practical magic.

He probably wasn’t supposed to take this many books home with him, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He had every theory book that looked even remotely promising. There had to be something, something. He had power inside him, he could feel that. There had to be a way to use it.

He jumped from book to book, skimming through, looking for anything that could be useful. A chapter on lunar cycles and their effect on spellwork caught his eye. He started reading more in depth. He’d had an idea that the lunar cycles, since they had such an effect on his own magic, would possibly offer him a solution, but had so far found nothing.

Because, as it turned out, there wasn’t much people knew about the way to use lunar cycles in combination with practical magic. Sure, it was well documented how they could be figured into theoretical spell setup, but actually incorporating them into practical usage? Jun hadn’t managed to find any sources yet.

This book was more of the same. It knew the lunar cycles had some effect, but no one had apparently seen any reason to find out what that effect actually was. Which meant it was useless to Jun.

He slammed the book shut with a growl and a lot more force than strictly necessary. There had to be some way out of this, he was sure of it. He couldn’t accept that he was fucked.

“Mom?” he called down the hallway, emerging from his room. Mom poked her head out of the kitchen.

“What’s up?” she asked. “You look upset.”

“School is hard,” he said, shrugging it off.

“I’m sure it’s not because you picked a course that’s never been possible for one of us.” Her sarcasm was gentle, but Jun flinched anyway.

“What do you know about how we can use the lunar cycles to use magic?” he asked. Maybe there was some secret werewolf lore that could help him, something they’d kept among themselves and never shared with witches.

“You mean how we shift?” she asked.

“No, I mean…is there any way we can use the lunar cycles to do anything else?” Jun asked. “Literally anything. I can work with anything.”

“Jun.” Jun hated that tone, because he couldn’t argue with it. It wasn’t trying to hurt him. It was trying to help, and somehow, that hurt more. “That’s not how our magic works, and I think you know that.”

“But what if it could?” Jun asked desperately. “Hasn’t anyone ever tried?”

“You’re naïve if you think you’re the first one to try.”

Jun looked down at his feet. She was right. In fact, part of what he’d looked for at first was a source from another werewolf trying to find out how to use their power like a witch. Obviously they wouldn’t have found a solution, but maybe they’d given him a starting point.

He’d had no such luck, though.

“You know there’s nothing wrong with you right now,” Mom said. “You’re not the same as witches, and that’s a good thing. Different kinds of magic are what keep this world running. It would be a pretty boring place if everyone was the same.”

“You know why I’m doing this.”

“So you can play in the big boy sandbox?” she asked sharply. “I’m going to tell you something that your sisters have never believed and you probably won’t either, but I swear to you it’s true. The people who hate you are loud, and they’re powerful, and they take up a lot of space. But they’re not the majority. And once you stop trying to look at them and see anything but what they are, you’ll look somewhere else and you’ll see there are a lot of people who’d rather love you.”

“Easy for you to say,” Jun muttered. “Look what happened to Mika.”

“Heartbreak is part of life,” she said. “It sucks, and it’s horrible, but once she has time to heal, she’ll see this means he wasn’t right for her. And she’ll go out, and she’ll try again, and maybe she’ll get hurt again, but maybe she won’t. And I think we’d both agree that would be worth it.”

“Getting hurt sucks.”

“Yes. But not everyone is going to hurt you. Look how I turned out.”

“Maybe Dad’s just weird,” Jun suggested. “Humans are like that, I hear.”

“They are,” Mom agreed. “I hear you have one of your own now.”

“You told Mom?!” Jun demanded. He could hear both his sisters laughing from the next room.

“Jun,” Mom said, bringing his attention back to her. “I see so much of myself in you. Stop chasing something you can’t have, and look around to see what you can.”

“What if I get hurt?” he asked. “What if he runs screaming?”

“What if he doesn’t?”

#tetsujun #juntetsu #daiya no a #ace of diamond #dna #my writing #magic au #cosa

[galaxyholly]

Let’s talk about labels.

So, with all the “political” discourse around minority groups lately, I’ve noticed something that’s left a sour taste in my mouth every time I hear it. (Or really a lot of things)

Labels.

Every minority group has them. “Gay” vs. “Straight”, “Black” vs. “White”, “disabled” vs. “abled”. 

Usually, labels are used as handy signifiers for a distinguishing trait, such as being homosexual. They’re used to distinguish something from a group, usually as some kind of utility of understanding. And they can be useful! Saying, “I’m gay” rolls of the tongue a lot easier than, “I am an X, and I am sexually attracted to X.”

But lately every time I hear labels like that, I can’t help but wonder if labelling is counter-productive to everything these groups stand for.

Language is powerful, its meanings, usage, and implications can change peoples’ minds like the snap of a forefinger and thumb. Obvious examples are like Cold War propaganda. We still have the majority of Americans assigning everything left of killing the homeless for sport as socialism (That’s a quote from somewhere, lemme know if you guess it.) 

Labelling isn’t an exception to this. There was a study done in recent years that illustrated this power in ways not really studied before. It involved telling a group of kids that they were gifted, and telling another that they didn’t achieve the gifted status. Both groups were taught using the same curriculum and methods, and by the end of the study, the “gifted” group had an IQ difference of 10-15 points. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just labelling these students caused sort of a “placebo” effect on their academic performance/ intelligence. 

[Citation at the bottom]

What does this have to do with minority groups? Well, I think it contributes to their perceived abnormality in our society. Most of these groups just want to be normalized, or treated just as well as the most well off groups and classes of society. Equality.

But the irony of campaigning for equality under a label, is that the label and the group status inherently separates and de-normalizes the group itself. If gay people are equal to straits, why do we even need a name for it? Can’t just saying, “I like X.” do the job? It’s nearly the same amount of effort to express, and it doesn’t involve boxing yourself into a narrow definition, nor does it separate. Does that make sense? You might have heard of this, but its called Heteronormativity and it sucks. As a wlw myself, I get tired of the label.

Maybe a more clear example would do good. If the color of your skin means nothing about who you are, why then do we call people “black”,”white”,”yellow”?

Before anyone tries to tell me that my idea is heading into culture erasure, give me a moment to explain. I do think culture is important, and I am by no means trying to force anyone to let go of any labels, or adopt others. I just want to open conversation as to what could be more helpful than the labels we have.

For instance, what do I think about when hearing the words black vs. white?

As a physicist, I would think of white as being the combination of all wavelengths of light, and black being no light present at all.

As someone indoctrinated into a protestant Christian belief system (I’ll be healing from that one for a while), white reminds me of all the imagery associated with god and angels, and black as associated with satan and demons (red too).

I mean, anyone can attest, it’s just classic symbolism. So what does it do when we assign groups of people those colors as labels. Well, it brings a lot of those connotations with them. Labelling in this way, using a noun as the label makes the label into something inherent in people. Think of the difference between, “I am a black person” vs. “I am a person comes from a unique culture and background.” In the first example, the person is black. It’s read as an inherent quality of someone. In a movement that’s saying that the color of your skin means nothing of who you are, the label of “black” only signifies a difference, which isn’t true. I don’t think POC or “People of Color” helps much either. It still plays into classic imagery, of white being pure, and other being less pure. It still makes the label out to be something that’s inherently part of the person. Which, yes, my skin color is a part of me, but as it means nothing about the content of my personality, so it seems odd to even mention its existence in reference to myself or my life.

This is my suggestion. Since skin pigment has no bearing on a persons life, why not just never mention it? Obviously this doesn’t do justice to the fact that people are severely oppressed due to their skin color. Fighting for rights or talking about culture that stemmed from oppression are the instances where sometimes a label is needed. So why not develop a better language model. Calling someone a “person affected by systemic oppression” doesn’t roll off the tongue, but the connotations are infinitely better. It conveys nothing inherent about the person, and the only separator is easily demonstrated to come from others, which means its not inherent, and not really a separator.

I think this can be applied to so many other groups. The most egregious example I can think of would be the term “transgender.” 

This language, much like racial language is extremely outdated and inaccurate, and as always, created by WASPs (White Anglo Saxon Protestants). The fact that a label exists at all, much like with poc, really irks me.

This is a group of people who are essentially just forced into the incorrect gender/presentation from birth, and many are self and medically-described to have been born in the wrong bodies.

One such sub-group is called “Trans Women.” These people are just women. They were assigned the wrong gender/gender roles/gender presentation at birth due to the archaic ideas of gender in Western society. Science, all accredited medical institutions, and psychology all confirm that “trans women” are just women. It’s the same with the men of the movement.

So, if you haven’t seen the issue yet, let me point it out. If “Trans women are women”, then why on earth do we need so say the “trans” part in the first place? Mathematically speaking, if [trans women = women], then the trans part is equal to zero. It’s a useless term. And yet, it’s everywhere. If you go to the reddit forum r/asktransgender, you literally can’t find a single person referring to a woman as just a woman. There’s this obsessive need to always attach “trans” in front of everything these men and women are associated with.

This isn’t even getting into what “transgender” implies in the first place. Much like POC is to black, transgender is to transsexual. People fighting to get rid of discriminatory and antiquated language with a history of use in disparagement only to replace with another useless label that just has less bad history of use.

“Transgender” is defined as:   denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.

If everything says that these people are who they are, then why does “birth sex” even factor in? The use of this word makes it even worse. These people have to say, “I am transgender.” This is again, making the label inherent to the person’s being. Essentially relegating their whole life to being that person whose internal sense of identity and gender doesn’t align with their “birth sex”. 

How about, “I am a woman”, or “I am a man”, or “I am a nonbinary person.

The label carries around so many connotations. If someone is a woman, then why do they need the classifier, “trans” before her description? What does that confer? Their genitalia? No, some get surgery, and some don’t, so how is that helpful. Also, why do people think they have a right to any information on a person’s genitalia? That’s so weird and creepy. I would argue that these women know more about womanhood, and have a more intimate relationship with it than women without the experience of having a gender incongruence.

It also implies that they are going from one gender to another, hence the “trans” part. Which, is just inaccurate, considering that these people just are who they are from birth. Looking like a man doesn’t make you one, and vice versa. Nor does genitalia. Hopefully I don’t have to explain that one to you. 

So, why not say something like this instead. “I am a woman and I have a gender incongruence.” Gender incongruence is defined as the mismatch an individual feels as a result of the discrepancy experienced between their gender identity and the gender they were assigned at birth (GIRES, 2018, 2018).

First, this definition has nothing inherent about the person. “Having” a gender incongruence isn’t the same as saying, “I’m gender incongruent.” Once the person has fixed this incongruence through medical, social, or presentational means, they no longer have an incongruence, and are just a man/woman/enby.

Like said, if they’re just men and women, why the trans part? It only separates, and since they’re the same, the separator means nothing.

There are intersex women, infertile women, women who were brought up with tons of brothers, not being allowed to be “girly”, who never had a gender incongruence. So don’t try to say that there’s anything that can separate women who’ve had a gender incongruence to those who haven’t. 

I know this was really long, but I hope you got something out of it. Let’s stop labeling everything we see. It’s often inaccurate, and a really poor way of approaching. Let’s use the framework of oppression and culture instead.

If you’re in any of the minorities I talked about and you want to correct me or talk about this post, let me know.

Love, Holly

-xoxo

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/alternative-truths/201005/why-its-dangerous-label-people label theory readup

#labelingisbad nomorelabels equalityforall