#i created this environment but god

[lollytea]

The Blight family are so interesting IN THEORY. In execution they are....😬

#i dont mean that like. theyre flawed characters #i LOVE flawed characters. nothing i love more than seeing some messy toxic bitches do messy toxic bitch things #i love the exploration of unhealthy family dynamics #i love the trope of a rich shiny perfect family who are secretly fucked up and miserable #i love the kind of characters that environment creates #whether it be gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing assholes #or people who are desperately trying to be good. or to break away from the role theyve been forced into #or people who are in a little more of a grey area. people who have a good side and a shitty side #its all fun and interesting #the problem with the blights is their characterization is just so....clunky. sloppy. not very good #alador amity and the twins all suffer from inconsistent writing #alador is a complex case to delve into. and you dont wanna listen to me dissecting him #so ill just say that he could have been handled better #ironically Odalia is the most consistently written character of them all #shes very surface level evil. shes not very interesting #I enjoy Odalia. I think she's funny in just how unapologetically shitty she is #and her VA gives such an entertaining performance #but she is like. Hollow. There is nothing going on with her other than abusive mom and capitalist #but by god at least she knows what shes about

[edoro]

it’s so funny when i see people talking about Hunter’s like, latent genetic big brother instincts he inherited from Caleb, and how he must be sooo good at nurturing and caring for younger kids because of Caleb

and meanwhile we literally see how The Kid Caleb Cared For turned out, and he’s an extremely emotionally unstable abusive genocidal monster who never got over his codependent obsession with Caleb and has spent the last 300 years using forbidden necromancy to try and play Happy Families with a series of disposable Caleb-clones

like i think Caleb did the best that a kid in that position could possibly be expected to do when responsible for raising a younger sibling with no help or support that way and i don’t blame Caleb for wanting to get the fuck away from Gravesfield asap at all or think that like, any mistakes Caleb might have made raising Philip mean that Philip’s actions as an adult aren’t his own responsibility

but like... you don’t... act that way if you have a stable, functional, safe upbringing. lmao.

#like i'm sorry it's just so. #caleb was not a good parent. caleb was a desperate lost kid barely scraping by #and he and philip both suffered for it #philip is Fucked Up in a way that's very much 'oh my god SO much childhood trauma' #caleb was in a no-win situation and did his best and i don't think he was intentionally abusive or hurt philip on purpose #or MEANT to create or foster an unhealthy dynamic between them #but i also don't think that philip just like. 'went crazy' one day out of the blue for absolutely no reason. #i think he was reacting to you know. his upbringing and environment and the relationship he and caleb created between each other. #and anyway somehow hunter genuinely probably is the most mentally healthy wittebane #but oh boy does he not get it from -caleb- of all people #caleb wittebane #philip wittebane #the owl house

[minorfamilysupremacy]

said it once, saying it again outside of tags: the person you are when you're being abused is not truly reflective of who you are. in an abusive situation, you are in constant survival mode. you are behaving in ways that you think a) are going to please the abuser and b) are going to keep you from being hit, berated, or otherwise punished. you do not get to be who you really are because that is legitimately dangerous. it creates a vulnerability you cannot afford. you need to act with your self-preservation instincts in mind first and foremost, and self-preservation often conflicts with authenticity and honesty. so when you're looking at those texts, judging build for being such a thoughtless, hateful person, try to understand what it's like mentally to have your back to the wall for months or years on end.

#'well i wouldn't do -- ' is that so? is that REALLY so? #people who haven't been abused love to talk a big game about how they're better or smarter or wouldn't act like that #you don't KNOW until you are in a perpetually unsafe environment how you will react #chances are it's not flattering #when confronted with constant trauma the brain does not function in the ways you think or wish it would #it will fundamentally alter everything about you #to expect someone who is in constant danger to react with nothing but kindness and generosity is unrealistic and unfair #what many of you are doing is creating the need for a perfect victim #your long-suffering cinderella who never lost hope #you want a shining cipher of a person to believe in and not a messy complex honest human being who reacts in ways you may not like #god help any of you if you ever face a hundredth of the amount of shit you throw at build on the daily #build jakapan

[bennidraws]

To Euthanize Your Heart - Rosio & Lucis backstory, part 1 (ao3 link)

hello darlings, may i interest you in my ocs,, yet again 🤲

i'm so sure this thing is completely unreadable on the phone app 😭 i love how functioning tumblr is haha, so bless ao3

anyway, would they truly be ocs if they didn't go through childhood trauma. and this is only the Beginning✨

it's important to point out that this story doesn't really have a good ending. and in the same breath, all the parts that will follow will touch on pretty serious topics (rape attempt, domestic abuse), so please be safe 🙏

#rosio #lucis #bg3 tav #my art #like 3 people in total will care and yet this was so much fun to create wtf #ocs truly are the key to the most self indulgent creativity #also can i just say how pretty the colors are from afar and clustered like this damnn #anyway i care my stupid boys too much. they will be such awful people shaped by this fucked up environment #and then they'll make god awful straight up EVIL decisions. and then spend 20 years trying to redeem them #they cant be normal #btw if you read this know that i love you and am making out with you virtually through my monitor

[reamed]

litrally how am I supposed to live if every job I have either ends up draining/depressing me or makes my pain intolerable

#txt #literally how #like why do I miss my old wfh job #even tho it didn’t pay me shit #it allowed me to make my own hours and create mt own environment #n like I’m employed at a gr8 place rn #atleast for my department #but oohhhh my god the social and physical part of it are killing me #like I think I’m too young to have. a job like this idk how to explain it 😭 #either way I hate working !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ragingdumpsterfire]

Welcome to Fort Solis 🚫

#I really enjoyed this game #it has its plot issues but my god it was beautiful and really fun #they created a truly beautiful environment and I loved walking around and lookOmg at everything #plus the ambient sound was creepy af #just a great ambience #fort solis #virtual photography #gaming #gameblr

[prolibytherium]

I have spent much of my life at war with various rodents

#I'm not sure any mutuals who followed over from my previous life remember the 'bastard the mouse' saga which was a particularly #painful time of my life where I was fighting a losing battle against a group of mice that I liked to pretend was one particularly wily mous #Caught one with my bare hands and I felt like a god #Anyway this apartment building has a mouse population too and you'd think that having had beloved pet rats since the original mouse saga #would make me more sympathetic but if anything the firsthand perspective of how much these things piss and shit has made it worse for me #Like I respect that they are just little animals eking out a living in the perfect controlled environments we humans create #Unfortunately they have crossed me

[blatantlyhidden]

.

#tw csa #why is it that nobody cares about you as a csa survivor once you're an adult #it feels like everybody just wants you to deal with it on your own #at least that has been my experience #not even when your trauma is untreated #but by god don't you dare bother anybody with it #nobody wants to hear about bc it's uncomfortable #and therefore it's creating this environment of “don't you dare say something!!!” which is exactly what i was taught as a child #it makes me furious #like hello i didn't pick this #pls don't feel pressured to respond or anything i just need to vent #i'm sorry for the oversharing #i am going insane #venting

[tfemdwt]

some of u genuinely do not understand how rpf works

#like in the most lighthearted way possible. oh my god. #creator boundaries are a VERY new thing in this space. and while they serve a good reminder of “hey dont be weird to ccs faces” the creators #are not and never will be a part of the rpf circle #this is not to say “oh be up in ccs faces about ships!!!” because thats weird. and i HAVE seen it done in this fandom. #but creators do not dictate what content is created in private and they should not be seeking it out #as much as i love drm and i appreciate his participation in fandom it has definitely created an environment that makes people think talking+ #explicitly with creators about this kind of thing is okay if the creator says theyre ok with shipping. #and again this isnt to say you cant make jokes or tag people who are okay with it in ship art #but ive seen people tell drm hes LYING when he says hes not dating george or speculate to his face and thats. #not good! #speculate all u want i literally do not give a shit about truthing but keep it away from the creators.

[oldmemoria]

No matter what Miguel’s fate is in btsv just rest assured he gets the happiest ending possible in my warrior cats x spiderverse AU

Since it still follows the events of atsv but it’s a little different because it’s adjusted to the warriors universe I can just

lay it out here

he (Reclusestar) ends up retiring from being leader of SpiderClan and goes to live in a cozy cottage outside of the forest his clan used to reside in with a lesbian couple that takes in cats to foster them to later be adopted. He’s a permanent resident (along with Jess, Peter, Xina, and Mayday, who’s now a young adult cat), meaning he gets to help cats, young and old, adjust to house cat life and generally have a better living situation than before (most of them either being dropped of from owners who can’t take care of them or former street cats)

and yes, that means he gets to help out and play with plenty of kits. All of the kits love him. He basically adopts every kitten that crosses the door. He does cry when they get adopted but he knows that he’ll either get to see them around the city/neighborhood (he’s allowed to wander) or that they’ll remember him as a good father/mentor figure and take his teaching to heart.

he also gets to wear a cute little red and blue bandanna because why not.

the humans end up naming him muffin… yk… if you care.

#If the directors kill him off in the actual movie I will lose my mind #Spiderxpawz Warriors x Spiderverse AU #<- Just gonna make a new tag for it why not I need to post about it more honestly #atsv #across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara #cat miguel #btsv #beyond the spiderverse #spiderverse au #He did actually grow up in a cat shelter but that environment was um #Less than ideal #And then he joined something close to BloodClan in the actual books #Supposed to be a stand in for alchemax #So that’s also less than ideal #And then cat god sends him on a journey to create spiderclan and kills his daughter #Because fuck this guy I guess #Can you tell I’ve been thinking of this cat AU backstory for a while now I feel like I need to find a way to get it all out #But I lose motivation quickly so who knows #Some day #maybe #warriors au

[bookshelfdreams]

friendly reminder that

"I love everything about you."

#GOD #this obliterated me. hit me like a distracted driver in a semitrailer hits the end of a traffic jam #its perfect <3 #as beautiful as a well-executed 'i love you' can be it's also a bit generic #can be said to anyone; you can love people for any reason and without really knowing them #(in fact not really knowing them can b prerequisite to the sentiment lol) #you can love the idea or the concept of someone #& i'm not saying it's always or even usually like that; just pointing out that someone who is used to putting on a performance for others #wouldn't be likely to interpret it as anything than a general statement of affection that comes with some conditions. would he. #& anyway ed seems to have a casual relationship w the word love. 'i love you' doesn't have to b a big deal #this though. this is 'i KNOW you. your best your worst and everything inbetween #and i love all of it' #which is just so. #okay first of all the perfect way for stede to express that sentiment; of course he would say that #of course he who constantly tries to create for others the sort of environment he never had #constantly tries to supply the things no one ever gave him #(because he never wants anyone to feel like he did; lonely misunderstood unloved) #of course he would fucking say that #but also just. hhhhrrrrrrrrrgghgggggghhhhhhhhh. you know. #our flag means death #ofmd trailer

[shredsandpatches]

probably shouldn't be reading about Doctor Faustus and religious trauma at 1 am but here's some good quotes: the top one is from top from Mark James Richard Scott, "'That’s hard': Christopher Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus and the Trauma of Reprobation" (Early Theatre 23.2, 9-20) and the bottom one is from David Bevington's intro to the play in the Norton Anthology of Renaissance Drama.

#doctor faustus #hot faust summer #i studied the play with bevington as a spiritually struggling 22-year-old #his empathetic approach to it was really meaningful to me #the scott article basically argues #marlowe's play seems to be set in a calvinist universe but from the perspective that that sucks #and that maybe some people just being left out of salvation makes sense from the perspective of god #but makes no sense at all on the ground #so the other point is that the play offered people an opportunity to sort of confront their own doubts in a safe environment #marlowe's faustus doesn't really do much that's all that bad in terms of his interactions with the world #it's entirely about his lack of faith #he doesn't have it because he was never given the capacity for it #(contends this piece anyway) #like he's absolutely an arrogant shit with a juvenile sense of humor but #his desire for power is much more expansive than the things he actually does with it when he has it #he does not create the level of collateral damage that goethe's does #and the feeling of 'what if my emptiness and lack of faith is a sign that god has rejected me before i was even born' is sheer horror #and one i have experienced #anyway i get you johann buddy

[prophecydungeon]

unsurprisingly i am absolutely fucking enthralled by tucker going back to chorus to fix that particular paradox. this season did tucker right in so many ways, i'm sure people have done words about that better than i could, but specifically the way that it was tucker who had to go here was such a good choice.

i think, of all things, what really made it hit for me is when wash is rallying everyone over the radio and says "we can still do this!", and then tucker is the one that we hear say "no, you can't" in place of locus. all of this happens, tucker lets himself lose his friends, and then faces off against felix of all people -- and then felix and genkins are his audience (unwilling, uncomprehending, or otherwise) for a really fantastic character moment that honestly even without the horrid sting of 16 would have been great. sucks to lose, but it had to happen. that's war. not everyone makes it back.

and then genkins starts talking to tucker, and two things happen: genkins starts goading tucker, and tucker says out loud "[time won't crumble], because donut has a plan, and i'm sticking to it," and felix replies "wait, what?"

thing 1: genkins hits squarely on what might be lurking at the corners of tucker's mind. fuck it, what if i do kill felix? just this once? couldn't hurt, could it? and in all the ways that genkins has fucked with people and subsequently with time, this is one of my favorites. tucker feels so strongly about chorus. it's evident in what he says next! he knows that this is an instrumental part of who he is and who he's become, and he also knows that felix was the catalyst for so much pain -- not just his own, but his friends' and the rest of the planet's, too. i think tucker struggling with leadership is a great character choice for him and that 16 did it in literally the worst way possible, but 17 really, really soothed that sting with this.

i know that these are all moments that whatsherface had "scouted" for them as being important, and i can only assume that the crew's divide-and-conquer strategy involved them choosing who goes where when, so i love the idea that tucker chose this for himself. yes, i'm going to go back to the worst moment of my life. yes, i'm going to go face the person who hurt all my friends. yes, i'm going to listen to all of this bullshit that just hurt me more in the end. and i'm going to let it happen because it needs to happen, and because it made me into who i am now.

thing 2: to preface this, 11 is one of my favorite seasons of this show. i could write Big Words about why i love it so much. to pare all that down a bit, one of my favorite things about 11 is how much it works on a re-watch, when you Know about felix and locus and can go back to pick at the seams. this loop back to chorus did a great job of pulling back that curtain for us just a little further; as things shift within acceptable bounds of the paradox it's felix, this time, who takes advantage of the fray to shoot donut, and his dramatics feel both just right for the moment and incredibly transparent.

felix also, in this shift within acceptable bounds, repeatedly harps on what the fuck is wrong with cece/dos.0 because that's not part of his and locus's plan -- in 11 he's got, i think, two moments where he reacts to cece/dos.0 with genuine surprise, but i love the way it's played up here. he and locus choreographed everything ahead of time and when genkins fucks with that, the ripples really hit. felix's "wait, what?" after tucker goes off about donut's plan to seemingly-thin-air is, obviously, just flat-out confusing, but imo there's also real concern there: if tucker and donut, split apart like this, have some kind of plan, then there is something that he and locus did not account for in their choreography. (there's another essay to be written about felix, contrary to fanon, not actually being very impulsive, but rather extremely good at rolling with the punches; locus is way more impulsive than he is.)

anyways this was like a five-minute segment of the entire season and i am probably never going to shut up about it

#and not 2 get personal on a post about hit webseries red vs blue but tucker really Hit for me this season #lowkey been having my own tucker chorus arc these past few months and you know what? stepping up is hard as fuck. #good leaders make it seem effortless when they create a good environment and you don't know how hard that is until you're on the other side #lots to unpack in 17 but good god when the roast beast (Moment™) hits #rvb17 tag #maybe i WILL write big words about rvb11 someday but right now i really just feel the urge to just unhinge my jaw and scream #red vs blue

[pallases]

oh boy

#sophomore year of hs i miss you… #sorry im oooking thru old wp smb chapters rn (was on my ipad trying to figure out what to draw to get used to the program and was like oh #redrawing old digital art that i made on my computer way then sounds like a good place to start and that’s where i have most of it stored) #*way back then #and wound up reading old comments and threads and. god i really had so much love in my heart for those people. SO so much. i miss them and #miss who i was with them and i miss having that connection w Anyone online or irl i miss having people to just completely goof off with and #create stories with and i miss having the time to do those things. and i talked abt band so much i miss how much i genuinely adored it #college marching band just isn’t the same environment #i especially miss two people in particular and knowing whatever i revealed abt myself they would just love me all the more for it and vice #versa. and so on and so forth. :/ #personal

[doctorwhoisadhd]

btw please always read my opinions re: public school as the opinions of a music educator aka The One Subject Area Where Teachers Would Just Simply Not Grade Anything Ever If Not For The School Administration

#NOT kidding at our conferences the professional development sessions OFTEN are like: #Btw Heres a way u can make this an Assignment if admin wont get off ur ass #(often with some annoyance that administrations make us grade things) #its also so funny because every single assignment is like. Nothing. yea theres playing tests in bands SOMETIMES but like. #1) there is an entire contingent of band people who are actively AGAINST the playing tests. (and thats not even all band ppl who dont do em #and 2) 95% of the time the assignments are just. NOTHING. (partially bc MOST music classrooms are elementary school.) #you know what we did for grades in high school band??? all u had to do was 1) be at the concert 2) there was a SELF EVALUATION FORM #that u filled out urself and the band director would just enter it into the gradebook verbatim no matter what. #(actually i think once he called someone out during class for giving himself an 18/50 like an idiot. but other than that) #basically what im saying is. i can forget how traumatic the american public school system can be bc im busy doing Not That #ari opinion hour #teaching tag #bc my subject area is 1) i will do anything to get out of grading things 2) no exams 3) biggest concern is how to get kids to STAY IN MUSIC #(aka creating an environment that is safe for everyone and safe to fail in. and also constantly teaching kids how to work together) #aaaand 4) please god please please pblease give me money please pleplease administration please bleaes please dont cut my program pleaseple

[amethysttribble]

That I’ve already made 1 post being annoyed with the Spy x Family fandom and I could easy make 2 more, is really quite telling

#it’s just everything I hate so much in one fandom: #over abundance of fluff for the sake of fluff (gag) and uninformed attempted at political takes (also gag) #the first one would be- #1) oh my god I didn’t realize how aro I saw Loid and Yor’s relationship until the UwU fluffy ship people got involved #THEIR DEVELOPMENT IS NO WHERE NEAR THAT. IF IT EVER WILL BE #they RESPECT each other and work TOGETHER to create a nice family environment despite their nontypical family and they aren’t in ‘love’ yet #and you really want to strip that all away to go ‘uwu Loid is soooo in love with her as soon as chapter 10’ fuck off #2) (and this one’s the kicker) Are you really pondering the moral difference between the actions #of two people who #are use violent means in order to maintain geopolitical peace so that war doesn’t break out??? #and the fucker who hijacked a bus of KINDERGARTNERS to make his political protest??? #MAYBE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HOW WE SEE THESE CHARACTERS IS THAT LOID AND YOR DONT KILL CHILDREN!! #you know whose daughter is also dead fuckwit? The Handler. YOU DONT SEE HER TRAUMATIZONG SIX YEAR OLDS #I mean are you even /thinking/ at point? #also #no actually Loid and Yor would not ‘destroy the city for Anya’ #they flat out wouldn’t #Loid is a character who cares a LOT about the bigger picture here and specifically about /not making kids cry/ #he would never hurt other children; even for Anya’s sake #never #but ESPECIALLY not out of revenge #and the city take is especially in bad taste considering his background #are we even like reading the same manga? #OR have your reality divorced stupid fluffy headcanons rotted your brain? #I know the answer #my god #anyway I hope the Silm friends got a good laugh out of ready my salt for another fandom #NOT tagging this shit #don't mind me #tribble post