#i dont get much stressed now

[arom-antix]

I bring to thee some quick late night Viktuuri sketches because I think we could all use some fluff

#some viktuuri for the soul! #my blorbos are always in my mind even if im not creating for them in that moment #they never leave <3 #their eepy leepiness is a reflection of moi and i love their eepy leepiness for them i hope theyre getting some great naps #just some calm and quiet #love that for them #also this isnt the first time i draw in like two months what are you talking about? #the last art i posted totally wasnt from the 14th of march shhhhh the date on the post is definitely wrong source trust me #no but like i have been so dead for months #dont expect to see much art from me before july when my break starts and i can stop being stressed out of my mind #now i can be one of those tortured artist types except i havent done any art to communicate how sad i am #tbh im just tired i just wanna sleep #am i gonna? youre funny of course not but now i can at least pretend my awake time was vaguely productive #yuri on ice #yuri on ice fanart #fanart #art #arom antix art #arom antix #viktor nikiforov #kastuki yuuri #viktuuri

[coolsvilleprincess]

Today's warm up, the lads. Tomorrow??? Who really is to say.

#my art #scooby doo #scooby doo fanart #fred jones #shaggy rogers #If you recognize their outfit inspo NO YOU DONT #Picked my colours weird this time but I NEEDED to draw Fred it was a need I fear #If drawing Shaggy and Scooby's comically large sandwiches was a crime then I'd be behind bars they're just very fun to think about #I like to think they're waiting for the girls so they can go solve some fun summer mysteries together #Sick and twisted that they all only ever have one default outfit per incarnation cause I think they should get to dress up more often #but I also wouldn't wish too much stress on the poor animators so I suppose fanart will have to do for now #I have a sketch for a proper summer illustration somewhere too maybe I'll finish that soon it depends

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[moeblob]

Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.

#my characters #i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw #noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors #at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes ! #and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck #guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing #and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act #like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask #cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff #and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on #but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like #YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute! #and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away #and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too! #and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally #then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION! #so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him #if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not #an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind #and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta #anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet #rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye #i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious #so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

#WHAT AM I DOING!!!! #i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch #too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun #no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point #trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this #WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!! #there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time #my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me #my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job #i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time #i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again #and WHAT DO I WANT! #THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY! #I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!! #anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed #delete later #i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious) #versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected) #i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want #ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you #i miss that i want that back #whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go

[bananonbinary]

Once More With Feeling (buffy the vampire slayer) pisses me off so much because Wish I Could Stay is a fucking bop and it gets stuck in my head all the time but unfortunately i vehemently disagree philosophically with everything in it

which is sort of the problem with btvs as a whole tbh, a very well made, very compelling show that is nonetheless wrong in so many irritating ways i dont even know where to start bitching about it

#fan wank / #giles voice: oooh youre so depressed clearly the problem is me giving you too much support #ripping away someone's support system and forcing them into high stress situations is obviously good trauma treatment for DYING #and dont even get me STARTED on the magic addiction plotline #or FUCK everything to do with anya and xander #btvs is definitely one of those shows that i fully understand love-hating #like damn great characters great world now give them to me because you did a bad job #its not even that its poorly written! it's not! #but the THEMES. the PHILOSOPHIES. they are BAD. #(not all of them. but a lot of them.)

[linkvcr]

goooood afternoon skysword nation

#i just spent waaaay too much money on prints. heh. yeah 😏 #little gift for myself bc i hate uni so much [< dangerous thinking path] #honestly just glad im getting cool skysword prints. FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #and an oot one. YAYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYAYAY #aaaand peace and love and joy forever #i also fulfilled my teenage dream of owning slime. it will be mine tomorrow and imm literally so excited abt it i cant think abt it too muc #uhmmm what else #OH i feel a bit less stressed abt uni but. still a lot to do u know how it is #sorry rambling so much but u know me. the yapping yapper #hope u guys are good!!! it is SO the afternoon but if i dont sleep soon i might explode #okay love u guys bye for now mwah #txt

[florenceisfalling]

the woes are upon me and i know there are bigger priorities in the world atm but if anybody wants to just toss a coin to their little loser and add a character name with it i'll make you some of my geometric ms paint art like this 👍 no pressure

#commissions #i just dont have a car for the trip i am supposed to make to see my fiancee #because kia completely and utterly fucked me over #some of my meds are in that car too which i will probably be able to get but i am having OTHER stress induced medical problems as a result #i cannot reschedule the trip #so im possibly going to have to spend 6x as much money for flights that take literally the same amount of time #and i literally dont know how much money is currently in my bank account because since my mom died my bank kinda fucked me over too #i also have to worry about getting new glasses because mine are so outdated i really cannot see for shit #im scheduling this instead of posting it because my circumstances might change between now and later tomorrow #but plane tickets are getting pricier by the day so i cant wait forever

[bunnihearted]

lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it

#idk it's just all too much to deal w #i have sm pains and physical discomforts. money issues. stress bc my avpd is making school very hard for me to finish #i have suicidal thoughts and really bad anxiety every single day. i've basically begged the mental health care system for help for 7 months #like i've kept contacting them and asking them but they havent done anything at all for me. i dont even get to see anyone and talk #i just dont know what to do or how to handle it #im so stressed abt the future. i have to finish school but then choose smth so i can go to school/get a degree & get a job #im holding my mom down and back and i need to find a way to kove out from her and support myself #i have no friends to meet or hangout with and destress with etc etc and im really feeling the lack of it #idk the list just goes on and on and on #nothing is working and idk how to fix it. but also i know that me and only me have to find a way bc there is no help #i struggle bc of my avpd and mental health but there is no treatment for me to get. they just dont wanna give me *any* help at all #im just so frustrated. and every day is the same. everyday is full of some physical pain anxiety stress worries suicidal thoughts etc etc #i cant break free idk how!!!! my life is so fkn boring and pathetic and miserable #i never get to relax bc all of a sudden last year i got extremely noise sensitive. and it's never quiet anywhere in this city #anyway yeah i could just keep going. and like now im feeling anxious bc my tooth is aching :(( #it -everything- never stops or lets up or relents. and it makes me wanna die even more. #so... idk im just incapable of being hopeful abt anything and that's really killing me idk

[gumy-shark]

<- god's wettest most pathetic most stressed most anxious beast btw

#i have a flight in 2 days and i hate airports they stress me out so much too many people *vine boom* #i lost my driver's license last month so i'm gonna have to get through the tsa without legal photo ID *vine boom* #the flight takes off at 7am meaning im gonna have to wake up at like 4 to get there *vine boom* #it also means i need to stay the night tomorrow with some family friends i barely know *vine boom* #so i need to do laundry and email teachers and shit Tonight *vine boom* #my ride busted a tire and got stranded in the middle of nowhere so now i have to worry abt his safety and also find a new ride *vine boom* #AND I'VE GOT A FUCKING LAB DUE TOMORROW #so now im just doing homework and daily tasks and whatnot walking around all chill like i dont feel like the most stressed being alive #conclusion: oh shit the Creature is back

[opens-up-4-nobody]

#i ask this as a mccoy hater lol. i mean. i get his whole deal #but it makes me upset when he is being like kinda racist toward spock. i mean its the sorta haha played for laughs #good natured sorta racism but like. i mean thats how it reads to me. but idk i watched star trek #tos when i was a more black/white thinker so maybe i wouldnt hate him so much if #i watched for the 1st time now? but i kinda doubt it bc im a hater ass bitch. and if u r mean to spock its jail for 1 million years #me as a teen: fundimentally i dont understand how ppl can ship bones with spock or kirk 😭 not in like a malicious way #more in a: we obviously do not perceive this character in the same way sorta way #but i dont like when ppl r constantly like sarcastic and abrasive? i dont kno how to react or what to do so it stresses me tf out lol #so its obviously a me problem #star trek #tos #leonard mccoy #poll #polls

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the desire to do comms vs my inability to remember that i got a message FIGHT-

#its like 'oh a message! i will respond later' #and then later never comes cause i have no damn object permanence Or working memory #then its like... what do i even say #'hi sorry i ghosted your simple question for two days i forgot you messaged me' AGH #or especially lately #i mean to do things and then i get a New piece of distressing information about the way my life is going #which then consumes my thoughts and leaves no room for anything else #ahaha thanks! ill claw my eyes out now!! wow!!! FUCK! #trying to keep up the things i enjoy is. so tough rn #but ill flounder w/o em so! hard work that i am mostly failing at but i Keep Trying #yes i wanna do comms. yes i wanna draw. yes i wanna talk to people. can i? mmmmm...... #can't wait for this chapter in my life to be over. goddamn. #ive been in a perpetual state of intense stress since early childhood #but my fucking duck things lately have been taking the cake #absolutely unprompted #oh no this is turning into a vent post Look Away #well my mother called again last night and was all 'im getting you a car' #and uh. i started physically shaking while profusely thanking her (lying through me teeth) #GIRL!!! I DONT NEED A CAR THATS TOO MUCH RN!!! #she's always mentioning how the collective We are tight on money #and that rn i need to focus on making decisions and getting a job ill hold for like. a month #and then she slams this down outta left field??? thats so much extra stress i dont need right now??? #now i gotta worry about parking and maintaining it and gas money i dont have And And And- #i cant exactly tell her Dont Fucking Do That bc then she'll blow up in my face and call me inconsiderate & ungrateful again #me and my stepdad dont have the fucking TIME to get one! and then she was like 'oh i can always come down to help' #please dont. do not do that. i cant deal with you in person right now that sounds hellish #anyway. case in point #cant even think about messages and stuff i Want to think about bc all this bullshit is taking up my entire mind #metaphorically slamming my face into a brick wall till theres nothing left. aaaghhahsbkjadadj #its too much its Too Much everything is so much and its too much and can i be let be for two fuckin seconds please

[duckdotcom]

literally can I just lay down in a hole and fall asleep until I return to the earth as mulch

#i've genuinely liked my job up to this point #but they fucking promoted me and now it's really stressful #i just want to do basic data entry or something i dont want to manage people!!! #i dont want to be responsible for anyone except me! #im hoping it will get easier bc i dont want to get cold feet and just leave again #ive done that too many times and i hate job hunting #but im at panic attack levels of workplace stress rn??? i keep making stupid simple mistakes that i have to clean up and it sucks so much #google how to work at stanley parable button pushing company

[sleepyseals]

[Image Description: A digital painting depicting Feldspar standing to the right of a campfire, facing away from the viewer and upwards. They are holding an arm outstretched above them and the other gesticulates as if they were telling a story. Several fireflies surround them and their shadow falls to their right. Wreathed in the smoke of the campfire is a scene of their campsite in Dark Bramble. Three large twisting brambles, the anglerfish fossil’s teeth, and three pine trees are suspended upside down, stretching downwards toward Feldspar and the campfire. A plume of stylized curling smoke stretches across the top of the scene from Feldspar’s ship in the top right corner. The ship is sparking with electrical failure. End Image Description.]

my piece for the @travelers-encore-zine !!!  I think this came out a bit more conceptual than I wanted but I still like it!

Thank you to the mods for making this happen, putting everything together and being an amazing support team!!! Thank you to my fellow contributors for being so lovely and making such amazing things and sharing this project with me, I'm really happy I got to be a part of it!!

#I'm so late to posting this omg sorry!! I got stressed abt writing the caption bc its hard getting the words out of my brain sometimes #but its already been a few days since the zine came out I can't believe it #expect some sort of process video or post for this maybe!! as soon as I figure out how I want to do that haha #idk I put a lot of work into this that I don't want to leave unseen but I don't know how I would even go about formatting smth like that #I dont know how to feel abt this piece lol I definitely got very tired of looking at it by the end but I think I'm still happy with it #there's so much going on for me atm but I'm happy! I'm so happy I have things to be passionate about #crazy how life is messy as ever but so much more manageable when you have something you care a lot about #videos game. <3 <3 <3 #I’m interested to hear people’s thoughts on what this means like symbolically ::] #both lonely and claustrophobic #Stories are the basis of so much in game but give feldspar room to breathe god damn it #I have to go to class and stop rambling in the tags now #outer wilds #feldspar #dark bramble #my art #outer wilds spoilers #ow spoilers #how did i forget spoiler tags... smh my head XD

[suffarustuffaru]

ok but im getting emo over heinkel again so im gonna talk about him again because yeah hes yet another sad character in a sea of sad characters and i love rezero for that but like he is a character consistently characterized by one loss after the other. it's a rollercoaster and its going straight fucking down and he is so miserable and absolutely alone and its both his fault and not his fault at all. but the way it starts is - its all out of his control. the more you think about the trajectory of his life the sadder it gets.

imagine you are heinkel and your parents are the sword saint and the sword demon and you come from a long line of knights and sword saints so thats almost definitely where youre headed, right? thats whats expected of you. you are nineteen years old and youre a knight in the royal guard, which was expected of you, and you have a wife and a beautiful baby boy, which was also expected of you, but at least you have so much joy and love for the latter while the former is just another chain on the astrea family line of people who are stuck to knighthood whether they like it or not. but your family is also just another chain because youre nineteen and your mother is still the sword saint and youre playing with fate here because either youre going to be the sword saint or your son will be.

your wife, the only equal you have, falls asleep one day and never wakes up. you are twenty-one years old and a single parent and then you are twenty-three years old and your son's fate is so much bigger than youll ever be. having the worlds love means that your love pales in comparison, doesnt it? everyone knows about your comatose wife because you keep searching so much for a cure that its just another thing to gossip about. every year that passes by she just continues to look the same as she did when she was awake and alive and loved you. (you dont know it yet but your son is going to reach the same age as her, because you dont find a cure for another sixteen years and you know that she wont love you anymore because who does? theres no one left because your son doesnt count.)

and everyone knows about you because of your family. because yeah, youre a good swordsman, but youre not liked by anyone in the knights. youre not a friend and youre certainly not a sword saint or sword demon. your son mind controls someone because he loves you so much that he would do anything for you and looks up to you like youre some hero, but youre just a wreck whos scrambling to keep what little you have. youre twenty-four and you lose your mom because you were too scared to go on the mission you were assigned on, because youre a coward and youre in over your head and you know, because everyone knows, that you dont measure up. you could never be prepared for this. in a long line of people who have to carry the weight of the world, you crumble easily. your mom goes on that mission and dies and your son becomes the sword saint like this was always going to happen. this is what being loved by the world means. you just killed your mom because you just couldnt suck it up and die on that mission instead. on top of that, your dad says that your five-year-old god of a son killed your mom. its just you and your son and the two of you both killed your mom but youre the worlds biggest laughing stock and your son is the up and coming hero and monster. but you still love your son. you really do.

right?

#rezero #heinkel astrea #i have. many feelings on him always. no i do not condone his abuse and i never will. but he is such a fascinating character #and this is not even getting into like. post-reinhard being five years old. cries. there is so much happening my god. the tragedy of it all #i swear theresia and wilhelm act like they dont even like heinkel fr sometimes too i swear aldfjldfjl theres just implications behind that #relationship too. and implications to heinkel and reinhards Everything with what little we've seen of them. like little kid reinhard truste #his dad SO MUCH heinkel was very loving in the beginning. it hurts how badly it turns out later alsdlfj bc you just Know that reinhard is #internalizing this like. my dad used to love me and now he doesnt anymore and its all my fault. #BUT HE STILL DOES LOVE REINHARD DEEP DOWN BC WHY ELSE WOULD HE HAVE SCHULT AS A REPLACEMENT. GOD. GOD. #arc 5 spoilers #i always like. theorize that heinkel used to be someone who tried to follow the rules to the T. try his best. try to be a good perfect #knight. a bit of a people pleaser. WHICH IS LIKE REINHARD RIGHT and it explains why heinkel is so bitter and jaded and angry now. god. i #hate it here. the astreas make me sooo crazy #like heinkel really does seem like a guy whos just trying to be a goody two shoes in like the once upon a time from lugunica ss but he fail #miserably bc hes too Emotional and also going through a lot of stress aljsdlfj

[no-light-left-on]

hi I am still not normal about how we never get much of an epilogue for Emily and Corvo in the second game we are told how the rule turned out and that Emily is the beloved empress now but nothing beyond that and I get that the entire game is very much built on that I get that the first game we have close relationship with Emily and become fond of the staff that work with the Loyalists so we feel alone because we do not quite see eye to eye with our allies and all we have left is this little innocent child that sees Corvo as someone who can do no wrong in this world which is strongly contrasted with the second game where Emily (or Corvo) has few trusted allies that they can actually rely on and it feels like a group of almost-friends working to dismantle the conspiracy but at the very end of it all Emily is all alone, even her return to the Tower is so much more grim, her taking down Delilah, the entirety of Dunwall- it all feels so incredibly and thoroughly isolating, she is all Alone now, and maybe that's why it bothers me so much to see the story end so abrupty.

it would've been so, so poetic if both the first and the second game ended with Corvo and Emily embracing

#li.txt #dh #sorry Im not okay about this I just #ahhh idk I cant quite explain it #but playing as Emily feels so much more lonely than corvo in the first game #she talks about saving corvo so much and we dont even get a hug #one thing that keeps coming to mind is silent hill 3 where heather goes through So So Much after her father is murdered #and when the final boss is beat she drops to her knees and breaks down #and I think Emily deserves a similar epilogue #the final release of all the stress and fear and anger #her freeing corvo and suddenly it clicks delilah is gone and her witches are gone and all the sigils drawn over the tower begin to fade #and it all hits her at once and she finally gets to cry it all out #because shes okay and meagan is okay and sokolov is okay and her father is okay and karnaca is okay #except they are not. because they all nearly died so many times and her father was trapped in stone and she had to see so much #she had to fight and survive all while unsure if it will lead to anything #all while she was worried for the people she loves because if she fails it means the few people she still has left will be gone too #she had to watch her mother die a second time and then hear the voice of her vengeful aunt for weeks taunting and mocking #(and she was her only family at the time and they could have been a family too. but that is too much to consider now) #i dunno. i just think she deserved a bit more there. just that one last hug from corvo before the game ends