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wewerebornsextuplets · 4 days

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recently i realized i havent given... any context, really, on kiru's family outside of her being yana's cousin, which is honestly a little shocking because i think about it a LOT and it provides a lot of context for why she presents herself the way she does, both in terms of physical appearance and in terms of actions/character as a whole. i also need to explain the nature of her relationship with yana, so this will be the tell-all on kiru's upbringing, as well as some elaboration on her general disposition! you know the drill! this one ended up being much longer than some of my other long winded posts, which is a little scary. but under the cut we go!

BEFORE I START i do want to disclaim: for the sake of canon compliance, assume anything i say about kiru's parents [particularly her mother] and grandparents' attitudes doesn't apply to yanagida's upbringing or family. as much as i love headcanons and speculating about background characters [theres a reason s1e9 is my favorite episode], i also want kiru's lore to be taken somewhat independently from those headcanons/interpretations if so desired :-)

In order to make things a little less confusing [mostly for myself, because im very scatterbrained], i have a little family tree graphic. thing. mostly to keep track of names + relations and all that! ill be referring to kiru's parents by name for that same reason. but uhhh tada 🎉

OKAY BUT FOR REAL. the actual timeline is like this: kiru's childhood was pretty normal to start. her mother [mayumi] was a bit strict, but it wasn't anything too crazy, though she did prefer spending time with her dad [kentaro] during this time. this was all upended around the time she was eight, though, when her family had to move into her grandparents' home after her dad fell ill. kentaro, a lifelong smoker, had developed lung cancer, and the costly nature of treatments for his condition meant that they could no longer afford to life in their old house. in addition, kentaro's condition meant that mayumi had to essentially take over as his caretaker at home during this time, leaving kiru's grandparents as the ones to raise her.

i imagine this side of her family had a decent amount of social power within the community [this may just be a thing in my town, but you know those families where it feels like theyre kind of everywhere, like the school staff, the local politicians, etc.? theyre like that], which led to her grandparents being quite strict, if not authoritarian to a degree, with a particular emphasis on what behaviors were considered "acceptable". as such, while kiru was greatly encouraged in her academic endeavors, there was near equal pressure on how she presented herself outside of her studies. while the physical aspect of "dress neatly and maintain good hygiene" was part of this presentation, it also included a HEAVY emphasis on her emotional regulation. It reached a point where she began to suppress nearly any strong emotions she had, because she felt that there was never a Right time to feel or express them.

^ it was kind of like this. not really any forceful or outright Mean enforcement of this ideal, but definitely a conditioning that was strong enough to impact kiru, especially at such a young age. past this i think they would be fairly normal as far as grandparents go, just not quite as nurturing.

even in the present day, kiru's calm demeanor is only really maintained because of her belief that sharing her feelings would disgust or embarrass the people around her. growing up, strong expression of any emotion was childish and unsightly, and she still conducts herself with this in mind; its not something she feels about others, but she doesnt extend the grace she gives others in this regard to herself.

BUT back to the timeline. after moving in with her grandparents, kiru got a bit closer to yanagida, who would often visit their home, since yknow. same city and all. during this time kiru was pretty lonely, since kentaro's illness meant she had to spend less time with him, and as a result her and yana spent much of that time together instead. yana particularly enjoyed kiru's knowledge of english, since kentaro primarily spoke bonin standard english in the home + taught kiru the language. in turn, kiru appreciated that yana didnt see her through the same lens of "respectable young girl" that everyone else in the family seemed to have picked up since moving, and they were able to meet each other on more of an equal level of just being friends.

this pattern continued up until kiru was 10, when kentaro passed away. aside from the obvious, this was a particularly stressful time for kiru and mayumi, since kentaro wanted to be buried in Chichijima + have his funeral procession held there. as a result, kiru spent about a month of that summer away from home, on the island with her father's side of the family. away from the eagle eye of her mother, she tried to make the most of the time, but found herself too distraught to enjoy any of it to the fullest. she was too ill-equipped to tell her relatives there how she was really feeling, so they mostly carried on with the impression that a young kiru was being "strong" in the face of kentaro's death and was taking it well, even though it was quite far from the truth. upon her return to mainland japan to start her new school year, most of her family carried on with the impression that all had returned to normal. that is, except for yanagida.

obviously, only being about thirteen at the time of kentaro's death and not really having a strong understanding of the expectations kiru was under at home [not to mention having the emotional intelligence typical of a boy his age-- that is to say, not much], he didn't really understand Why her behavior had changed so much since moving in with her grandparents, or why her demeanor had taken a near 180 in that time. but he didn't really need to understand the why to know that Something was wrong, even before kentaro had passed.

what he wasnt expecting, though, was her breaking down sobbing the second he asked her how she was doing after she got back from chichijima. since yana was Also a kid, and had never put on the same pressure that the rest of the family put on on her, kiru felt a bit safer talking to him with the confidence that he wouldnt berate her for feeling that way or be disappointed in her. he consoled her about as well as he could [or as well as any 13 year old boy could] and assured her she could come to him if she was ever feeling down, but instead she assured him she would be fine.

after this event, yana started worrying about her quite a bit, but he wasnt really sure how to go about Expressing this concern [either to her or anyone else], so he just kind of let it sit there. as time went on, and kiru started to return to a more cheery persona, he let go of that worry for the most part and they returned to their old routine fun for the time being.

yanagida wasnt the only person whose relationship with kiru changed after kentaro's death, though. mayumi, who was wholly unequipped to handle the intense grief that kentaro's passing brought her, was wracked with a mixture of guilt, anger, and resentment; she regretted having ever met and married him, now knowing the pain it would come to cause her, and she even began to regret kiru's birth. its a feeling she was deeply ashamed of. she loved her daughter, but every time she looked at kiru, every time she heard her name, mayumi was acutely aware of the fact that kentaro was no longer there to share these memories, that he wasn't going to be there to see her grow any further. ashamed as she was of this feeling, it never fully went away, even if she made efforts to ignore it. the gap left between them was never fully mended, and though kiru couldn't place it at the time she definitely got the sense that mayumi didn't really want her around. as a result, kiru began to spend a bit more time around her grandparents, whom she had grown closer to since they were the ones raising her for the past couple of years.

as junior high rolled around for kiru, and as yanagida was going into high school, the distance between them grew as well; yanagida was beginning to exercise more independence from his family and spend more time with friends, and kiru was doing the same. they still made time for one another, though, walking home together once in a while when yanagida wasn't in the mood for hanging out with his friends. most of the time, though, they just stuck to their new groups. it was a small period of respite and was actually pretty chill for kiru, all things considered

once it came time for kiru to start testing into different high schools, mayumi became a bit more involved with her daughter's life. more specifically, she became more involved in how kiru presents herself; if youre a daughter [or former daughter] youre probably familiar with the specific underhanded flavor of body shaming she experienced. kiru and yanagida also lost contact during this time, as yanagida was preparing to enter college and they were both too busy to keep up with one another too well. he was definitely a little concerned with all these changes regarding her appearance, though

now, to this point, i want to say that mayumi was NOT being intentionally malicious or even aware of her harm during this time. during her youth, mayumi was ridiculed and ostracized for a more unkempt appearance that came as a result of an intense focus on her academic endeavors and matters other than her looks. not wanting to see her daughter endure the same thing, she tried to encourage kiru to put more care into her appearance. even so, her tactless expression of this concern ended up hurting kiru more than anything else.

high school came and went, with kiru attending St. Hanagaoka's, a prestigious all-girls school in the city. nothing particularly bad happened during this time, but kiru regards this time in her life rather poorly, because she spent most of it trying to Appear a certain way, rather than living how she actually wanted to live. its during this time that kiru became more acutely aware of much of her desires and identity; as femininity began to feel more like a prison, she found herself looking at the boys her age a bit differently. she had a boyfriend or two during her time at school, sure, but she never really felt that it was any different from having a friend. slowly, she realized the feelings she thought were admiration, or crushes on boys, were really just a sense of longing; she longed to dress like them, to be able to cut her hair short like them, even to pursue love with girls the way that they did. though she was still quite confident that she was a woman, she knew she wasn't the kind of woman her family wanted her to be.

as such, when she finally got into college, kirumi cut contact with her mother and grandparents almost completely. her first year of college was a year of rebellion and experimentation; primarily with her appearance. at first she'd wondered if her discomfort for feminine clothing was the result of the KIND of femininity she was portraying, but quickly realized this wasnt the case. so the kirumi futch era was only about a semester long. after this, she started to present as more masculine, and this is around the time when she starts getting more concerned with fitness in terms of strength; she didn't manage to get built like yuko miyamoto just by standing around, after all! its during this time that kiru also began to make actual friends, though her problems with connecting to others emotionally made this a rather difficult endeavor when it came to maintaining those relationships.

during her second year of college, her grandparents both passed, roughly six months from one another, due to old age. while she had mixed feelings on the matter due to her strained relationship with them, she still attended both funerals. at the latter of the two, her and mayumi got into a bit of a fight because of a comment mayumi made about kiru "destroying" herself. this ended up pushing kiru, out of pure spite, to shave her head the second she got back on campus.

it ended up being a mistake.

not one without a silver lining, though! this drastic change in appearance ended up catching the eye of one of her acquaintances, who was a close friend of her roommate. you might know her as keiko :-)

during this time, keiko was just starting her transition, and was still getting a feel for the big city. the two initially bonded over a shared love of terrible movies [as one of kiru's biggest hobbies is watching shitty movies to laugh at them], and kiru gave keiko many of her old clothes + some tips for hair and makeup now that she no longer needed them. but over time, they became quite close. in particular, they bonded over the fact that they experienced pretty strong discomfort towards gender roles and expectations in their upbringing; while keiko's family was much more loving and supportive than kiru's, she still felt an intense obligation to be seen as ""man enough"", mainly to her peers, having been bullied quite intensely during her high school years for her transness.

i could probably write a whole separate post about kiru and keiko's relationship [not any time soon though. jesus.], but the long and short of it is that they became a couple during their third year together at college :-) this is also the year that kiru secured her job at the butcher's shop in akatsuka, having been a bit of a floater before then.

after graduating with her bachelor's, kiru began to attend a veterinary school in pursuit of a doctorate in the field. they lived separately, but visited one another's apartments about as frequently as could be managed.

one summer, when school was out and she was less busy, kiru began volunteering at a local animal shelter, wherein she met and fell in love with a little cat named kabosu. after adopting her that autumn, on one particularly busy night, kabosu broke out of the apartment, and... hey, i've told this part of the story before!

past that, uh... not really a lot to say! i have a whole storyline thought out about kiru and yanagida getting back into contact + how that intertwines with some other family drama on kiru's side of things, but thats an idea that i want to dedicate a different post to since i have. a LOOOOOT of thoughts on that whole arc. ill do that eventually but again, definitely not anytime soon. if i make another post like this too soon i think my brain will explode

BUT YEAH! if you managed to read this far, thank you!! i put a LOT of thought and consideration into kiru's background; i didnt want it to be like. senselessly edgy. since this IS a gag anime in the end. even still i am a sucker for complicated family dynamics so i tried my best to strike a good balance there

#larry time #ocs #kiru #long post #<- i dont usually use that tag but this ones a doozy.#i have a lot more thoughts about the nature of mayumi and kiru's relationship #as well as her relationship to her grandparents #i wouldnt say theyre particularly heinous or intentionally evil or anything like that because um. theyre people.#but i still wanted to show how like... misguided attempts/good intentions from an ill-equipped parent can still be really harmful #and that mixed with grief is especially damaging #but i dont know if i worded it well here and this post is already so long #so those thoughts will just stay in my mind.#anyways im starting to get scared of posting this so im just gonna throw it into the ether and hope for the best GOODBYEEEEE

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forsythefucker · 10 months

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Operation: SWEETHEART!! - An Aphmau Dating Simulator

hello everyone!! so following my recent post i wanted to do i guess an official announcement for the project ive been working on....APHMAU DATING SIM!!! I just wanna talk about what it will be and stuff

So this is my second time ever making any sort of video game and its also a one man project so its NOT gonna be super good but...im trying my best LOL. The game will be taking place in the Mystreet universe! No specific time frame but generally around mystreet s1? Its kind of an AU where certain things are canon and certain things arent, also the characters act a little different since theyre all kind of following my personal interpretations of everyone. The game is kinda like 70% genuine 30% irony, so expect lots of humour

quick disclaimer: the game will include some mentions/depictions of death (out of humour, just silly game-overs and such) (no gore tho!!). things are still subject to change since im very VERY early in development so the final game will include a warning list just so everyone is aware of what theyre getting into! but there wont be anything super explicit besides swearing/light sexual humour

if i had to guess when this game will come out, i wanna say sometime around mid-late september? Again its a one-man project and i have other things going on so it may take a while but! progress is going pretty steady! so definitely pretty soon!

the dateable characters include: Aphmau, Aaron, Katelyn, Kawaii-chan, Lucinda, Laurence, Garroth, Travis, Zane, and Dante (pretty much all of the main characters)

this game is mainly just a passion project for me to learn some code and have an excuse to draw tons of aphmau fanart, so again, i apologize in advance if the game is kinda bad...just...let me live

i'll try to post updates/sneak peaks occassionally just to keep u guys hyped but we'll see

anyway i just wanted to talk a bit abt the game!! since some ppl were shocked lol. peace out !!!!

#aphmau #aphmau mystreet #mystreet #aphblr #please be patient with me guys #how do i even tag this #also can people comment on this idk i still dont really know how to use tumblr #if u can comment leave any questions u have!!#if not. um. sorry

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p0rchc0ll4ps3 · 1 month

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if judit has 1 fan, that 1 fan is me

(harry's telling her some kind of stupid joke and judit's trying really hard not to laugh)

#my art #disco elysium #harry du bois #judit minot #harry x judit #was inspired to draw this image coz there was NOTHING in their ship tag #its really fun and cute to think about. so i figured why not manifest it #this is just a doodle so it's kinda sloppy #still dont have a good grasp on what they wear in elysium #but i do think they wear hats #jean dressed harry here btw. harry was gonna go out on his date looking like a fucking clown. russet blazer purple shirt green pants etc #harry asked kim hey do i look ok and kim was like yeah! you look like yourself #but then jean caught harry b4 he went to meet judit and jean was like harry no. none of this works #bc a fun little fact is that um. in my fics jean is good with fashion #also judit gothISH. i like to think shes counterculture and juuuust a little bit alt #kinda basing her 20s on my moms! going to rock concerts and shit. being part of the counterculture #judits 37 now i think #some kinda 1910s 1930s dress. idk #still need to figure out the fashions #bg is a picture i took #ALSO JUDIT TALL. SHES FUCKING SIX ONE. SHES JEANS HEIGHT #do you know how obsessed with that i am????#also dw about harrys ropeburn scar.#also judit did her hair a little. curled it. normally its just flat choppy

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quesadillayuri · 4 months

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Propius saltat et bracchiae circum Roier’s collum involvit. “Ego sum laetissimus, formosulus,” he murmurit, osculari eius genae. Roier trahit eum prope, tadant eorum moti in dicio tam ponet eius mani in Cellbit coxarum supra. “Tu estne laetus? Homosexualis et laetus, catulus?” Cellbit iacit eius caput ridere et Roier torquent eos. “Homosexualis et laetus, formosulus.

quid??? quid est??? estne translationis de @atthebell's put to mind of all that i wanna be in lingua latina? ita! verum est!

in all srs, i've not really been in a super creative mood lately, and there's been a lot of issues with my own writing process. i decided to do a bit of translation for fun and to ease into writing again! hope that this satisfies the needs of the one other person in the qsmp fandom looking to read fanfic in latin!

#one other person is probably a stretch #me along in my party room fr #anyways !! this was a super fun translation to do!! bell uses a lot of words i dont usually get to use and it was really fun figuring out #how to work around my own limitations within the language #grammar might not be 100%. or like 80% but i think its a passing attempt .#vocab is my strong suit unfortunately :'( i know lots of words but can't really fit them all together #um #okay tag time #qsmp #spiderbit #roier #cellbit #qsmp fanfic #spiderbit fanfic #my fanfic #qsmp translations #qsmp translated

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socksandbuttons · 8 months

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when i made an underrem 'height' chart BUT theyre like smallified versions SO I CAN DRAW THEM BETTER AND CONSISTANTLY THUS NOT A VERY USEFUL CHART.

#like i can tell u how tall dream is vs asgore undyne is slightly shorter than dream #alphys and nightmare are around the shortest (not including the children)#muffet is JUST slgihtly taller than them. TSIURIS HEIGHT IS AN ENIGMA SOMETIMES WE'LL GET TO HER LATER #gaster???????? MY AVERAGE MAN??? good LUCK me #grillby has yet to even be in this au by the way hes not EVEN HERE i dont what to do with him yet so #(more designwise i mean. i dont need a story for him in this i have ENOUGH)#mettaton is like... maybe average sized i dont KNOW hes short than dream and undyne taller than muffet and MMM #WE DONT HAVE NUMBERS BTW U JUST HAVE TO G U ES S #its just cause im bad with heights so. i need a comparison to understand Tallness #anyway um i dont what brought this up i think i was thinking of something else #i really should share undyne or something cause i love her casual outfit cause HELLO beautiful lady THAR SHE BE #alyphs has every right to crush on her are U KIDDING #muffet is so proud of that woman (but also impressed how oblivious she can be about the swooning ladies)#underrem #goes in the tag because im just typing things now

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filurig · 1 year

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gay people

#oc stuff #pareidolia tag #oc: arvo #oc: folke #put the queer flag instead of unlabeled bcs tbh i dont really like how unlabeled has. become a label LOL #also the flag that got popularized relatively recently... i have um suspicions about where it comes from #suspicions that makes me see the horrors #SO arvo is specifically queer in the sense that he doesnt know what a sexuality is #he isnt straight though that much is for sure (see.......... uh. their Thing)#neither of them know or label themselves like this bcs its the 1910s and they live in rural sweden but its wat u could say they are

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sleepygaymerdisease · 2 months

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funniest thing in my art class was presenting my sculpture and hearing the critiques while internally thinking like "um youre misgendering this object here by using he/him... you see it's actually based off of a shadow that uses she/they pronouns" like god i felt so stupid i couldnt say anyhting

#like what was i supposed to do. explain my oc lore to my class? no thanks LOL.#i dont think sil would be like. Against he/him pronouns but i think that insisting she's a guy for not being particularly feminine would #piss them off. and anyway idk it just rlly made me think about shallow perceptions of gender and how that relates to the art scene.#if that makes any sense. like how stereotypically feminine does an abstracted featureless androgynous figure have to present itself #for the pronouns/gender to not be assumed like that? it says a lot that we bring these notions of gender and slap them onto artist's work s #swiftly without a second thought. i wouldnt expect ppl to know but at the same time like... huh! idk! didnt really think about the idea of #like. sculptures needing pronouns listed?? i guess?? does anyone get what im saying here 😭 i feel like i dont have the right words #in my head rn like does this make any sense?? whateverrr just some thoughts i guess #anis gaymer moments #oc tag #<- i guess. since this whole thing is about sil after all lol. um would anyone like to ask me questions about sil that would be awesome

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prestonmonterey · 3 months

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i refuse to

color theory

>:(

#marble draws #felt like doin somethin silly #i have so many hugo doodles i stg #showed my art teacher my vat7k folder and she went #:OOO #anyway #have a really banger piece i think #but im holdin that one hostage for a bit #s a secret for now sooooo #shhhhhh #anyway get excited or something bc ill prolly post about my varian cosplay on tuesday #...not sure. how. exactly #bc i sure as hell am not gonna post my face on this hellsite #..no im not gonna tag this one properly #its a secret for all my silly moots #heres your super secretive secret of the day #since youre readin all the tags #um #i turned in an assignment late on accident and i dont know how it happened #like i for sure submitted it already #but the teachers prolly gonna ignore any reasoning i have and fail me anyway :\#aww and it was summative work too :(#idk what shes gonna do #like #that was the rough draft i already got 100 on the final blueprint #ok ill shut up now

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monotone-artist · 2 months

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just a few foster puppy pictures out of the hmm. 500 that i have

[id: nine photographs of various brown, floppy-eared puppies. first: top view where puppy is sitting down and looking up at the camera. second: sitting with his tongue out. third: laying down on her side with her head on my leg, looking straight at the camera.

fourth: laying down on her belly. fifth: sitting and leaning against me, his head quite close to the camera, which he's looking at. sixth: one puppy lays down while another rests her chin on his back.

seventh: an extremely close-up view of a puppy's face. eighth: a puppy, who notably has one blue eye, looks through the glass door. ninth: puppy stands on her hind legs, front paws on the glass door, looking inside. end id]

#monotonepost #piranhapuppies #<- gonna be tagging any pics i post of them as that #dogs #couple of the pics r a lot older than others.#and possibly 500 is a bit dramatic i dont actually remember how many i have. but i have a LOT regardless #realized i never rlly posted any of them though...#we don't have any of them anymore. they're either gotten given to other fosters or adopted #unfortunately half of them did get sick with parvo. a couple were ones we'd given to another foster #the last 3 we had left we had to give to a parvo house #they've been pulling through tho they're doing ok!#if u dont know about parvo it's a really nasty (literally) disease. fatal if u dont get them help within 24ish hours #um. on a more brighter note that pup in the 2nd to last pic? he actually ended up keeping that blue eye #which is weird cause neither of his parents have blue eyes. the pups ARE mutts tho so shrug #of course the brattiest one had to be the prettiest one <3 very pretty brown brindling pattern too. like a calico cat #i say brattiest he's actually a sweetheart. just very excitable #goddd i miss these guys so much...#was really tempted to keep one of them for a bit there but im just not a very energetic person so i figured it was best i didnt.#does mean im forever gonna be wondering about what-ifs though.#ALSO to note: these were some of the few nice pictures i got. most of them were blurry cause they were never still sdfjkhdsfj

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anxietywithasideofexplosions · 7 months

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HEY TUMBLR TELL ME ABOUT YOUR SPECIAL INTEREST! I DONT CARE IF YOU REBLOG THIS AND DO IT (in tags or not), OR MAKE A POST AND TAG ME IN IT! TELL ME ABOUT SHOWS, BOOKS, MOVIES, COMICS, OCS, A N Y T H I N G! I WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR SPECIAL INTERESTS!

#i dont really know how to tag this so um #add tags once you reblog?#or just ignore me #special interest #tumblr #uhhh #okay im gonna stop now #see if anyone replies to this #brainrotting to the void

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pansyfemme · 8 months

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like. my #1 advice for getting into niche genres like twee is to just. for the love of god do not just search ‘twee’ on apple music or spotify. you will not find what you’re looking for, i promise

#from my experience if there is actual twee at all its mixed in with other indie pop #or its just. straight up not twee at all #there are good playlists im sure but theyre made by l #small users and with the good and the bad playlists mixed together you’re better off doing your research on sites and social media tags #devoted to the genre and then building your own library #like i know thats annoying but also you may find someone on there with a decent playlist if you really want #but the other thing. is some of even the more well known bands arent on all streaming platforms so you will have to learn how to surf the #internet to find stuff in different places #but yeah 👍 playlists can be good but it’s best to find them through someone rather than just searching on spotify #bc just looking at some of the top ones. un #*um #yeahhh i dont try to be like ‘thats not REAL indie’ but its pretty abysmal

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aranarumei · 8 months

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day negative fourteen.

hiii everyone. i've been really thinking about it lately so here is a sort of. fun(?) prelude for the sasamiya dating sim au.

In the end, everything is built with a switch. You have two choices. On and off. That’s all there is to it.

I don’t get it. Could you explain that a little more?

You’re talking about binary code, right?

…Hana-san, you’re quite strange.

Shirahama’s hands pause on the buttons of his controller. First, he yawns—it’s quite late, and this is probably going to be the last bit of progress he makes in this game. Hana’s sprite is staring back at him. She’s usually ducking her head or fidgeting, the glare of her glasses obscuring her eyes, but right now she has her hands folded politely in front of her, shoulders set straight.

It’s a pretty sight. Shirahama’s been trying to get into Hana’s route for a while—there’s a lot of characters he was interested in learning more about, but after he’d gone through a tumultuous relationship with the secret daughter of a prime minister, he’d wanted to pick a character that seemed a little more mundane. She’s the shy and nerdy type of character who’s beautiful once her glasses are removed, which Shirahama would be fairly ambivalent about were it not for the fact that whoever did the art for the game had gone all out on the expressiveness of her eyes. When he’d first seen her sprite switch from a dull, downcast look into eyes that glowed and glittered in purple tones, it was like magic. He’d avoided everyone else in the game since then.

As for how to respond…

Calling her strange is definitely the wrong play. Shirahama’s not that stupid. The correct answer is probably to say the line about binary code. Hana’s pretty good with computers, and in the last time they’d chatted, she’d showed him something she’d programmed. He’s about to select the second option when he finds himself hesitating.

It’s just that… the second option sounds so confident. What if it’s faking out people who try to sound smart without knowing anything? Shirahama honestly doesn’t get what Hana’s talking about, and if he wasn’t playing a game, he’d probably just ask. Didn’t people like it when you asked about things they liked? What was wrong with that?

I don’t get it. Could you explain that a little more?

Oh… you don’t get it.

Hana’s sprite reverts into her gloomy self.

It’s just… I thought someone would finally get me, you know? But it’s still really nice of you to ask… it’s just something about coding or whatever. It probably won’t make that much sense to you. I’m sorry, ˹Shirahama˼.

His eyes are stinging. Maybe sleep deprivation is the reason for Shirahama’s stupid choices.

Making sure to not save his progress, he exits out of the game, turns the lights off in his room, and flops down on his bed. If he replays that section of the game tomorrow, he’ll just pick the right answer. That’s the entire point of dating sims. Picking the right answer. Being the right person. No room for anything else.

His gaze drifts to the vague shadow where he knows his bag is. There’s a copy of Boys Life Romance! tucked deep in the bottom, separated from its original game cover. For such a peppy title with such a garish looking cover, some of the routes are pretty depressing.

It’s also a game that’s way harder than the one he just quit out of. If he’d tried to assume what Hanzawa-senpai meant to say whenever he drifted into a strange monologue, he’d get dropped from his route immediately. Now that was a character like a real magic trick—every once in a while, he’d say things so perceptively it felt like he was piercing Shirahama through the screen. His favorite route, though, had probably been Kagiura—sweet, jealous, and possessive, but never in a way that felt troubling. Really good at basketball, too. That was probably what Shirahama liked best in any character in a dating sim. Passion. Interest. One thing, and now you had a character with a life outside being romanced but also the kind of intensity that could turn you head over heels in an instant.

Miyano had said he’d never really played visual novels before, but he had talked about reading BL manga, yesterday. He’d also been blushing like crazy. It was kind of cute, seeing him get so worked up. To spare his embarrassment, it would probably be best to hand it off to him some time before he left to catch the train, or something. Find a secluded enough stairwell and recommend it in a way that didn’t come off as too awkward… well, it would be a little awkward. But Miyano was the kind of person that you wanted to talk to even if it felt a little strange.

He’d probably like it, anyways. Shirahama kind of wonders if his ears will turn red when he finds out just what kind of visual novel Shirahama’s lending him.

That image in mind, he drifts off to sleep.

Maybe it's nerves, but he dreams of nothing and wakes up with enough time to play the correct option on Hana’s route.

Yes! If we treat ‘on’ as ‘one’ and ‘off’ as ‘zero’, we get binary code. And when we read certain patterns of ones and zeroes, we can make larger numbers and letters… and everything cascades into more complex code until we get to what a modern-day programmer uses. It’s amazing that something so versatile is born out of something so simple, don’t you think? I’m so glad I can talk about this with you, ˹Shirahama˼!

Hana’s eyes are sparkling. Shirahama heads to school with some extra cheer in his steps.

—

Two weeks later, Miyano Yoshikazu wakes up in a bed he doesn’t know. It’s a good thing he’s in the nurse’s office, because he feels immediately, deeply sick.

He’s not the only one.

#my writing #harusono #sasaki to miyano #shirahama kyouji #kiri.txt #shiramiya #sure. gotta tag it that #also i really dont know what to name dating sim titles my bad #how does shirahama feel about that last bit i wrote there u ask?#um well to get the answer youd have to look at some unhinged tags i left on a poll. LOL #dating sim au

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pinkopalina · 2 months

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as a huge batjokes shipper i want batman and joker to hate each other in the sense they dont really hate each other, they just have really different goals and see their own version of potential in the other and right now hate is the best word for their situationship. they both love the other for what they could be but neither of them wants to be what the other one wants, and that's equally as frustrating as it is necessary for them to keep existing in their current roles. they're deadlocked and that fate surrounding each other is kind of the point -- we both have to be like this, the opposite of what the other wants, for us to keep existing at all, and for giving me that gift i both love and hate you. it's an agreement. i think the hate that's there now is born from an intense underlying love.

i think batman "hates" joker for being so amazing and smart and cunning, for being able to create grand gestures and schemes, to pull people together under his charisma and make them all believe in something, for being as extraordinary as he is but batman hates that he uses it to hurt people. he hates that joker can't channel his energy into doing something good for the world, that he hurts himself and others just because he wants to be batman's greatest enemy. i think batman wants to help joker but also hates him at this point for joker exhausting him, constantly getting hurt both emotionally and physically by him, joker never trying to improve his situation, throwing away other people's lives, showing batman he loves him by lashing out and hurting him. batman hates joker because he loves his rogues, he wants to help them, and he knows they can do better. he wants to live in a gotham that doesn't need batman but he still needs to be needed, because when there's no batman, what is bruce going to be? without joker, he will continue being batman, but it's an empty crusade. some of my favorite interactions between harvey and bruce are the ones where harvey thanks bruce for "always being there for me, never giving up on me, my very best friend." even with someone like harvey, bruce can still hold onto that hope for his rogues, never give up on them, keep going for them, even if it puts them through the cycle one more time.

i think joker hates batman in the most toxic way possible, but it's still love. i just think he's selfish and doesn't want batman to think about anyone else but him, the same way he operates for batman, but if he must think about other people then joker will make it as amazing as possible! i think he hates batman for wasting his time on ordinary people, people who are so boring that batman claims he has to protect and serve and love them but joker thinks it's all surface-level. batman won't kill joker but he'll leave room for people dying in his crusade. it's a choice he allows, and even if joker knows that's a morally fucked up way to put someone in a box, he doesn't care. batman is the type of person to train himself mentally and physically for decades and dress up in a half-silly-half-menacing costume so that everyone can have an idea about him. batman himself is not normal, and joker knows that and loves that! why is he wasting his time trying to save people that use him, abuse him, don't want him to be the best he can be? i think joker's motivations for loving batman and lashing out as if he hates him lie somewhere in between extreme admiration -- like i truly believe in your cause and that you're the right person to do it, but i'm so angry at you for wasting your time on other people and i'm so hurt and jealous that you choose them over me, just so you can be a hypocrite and let them die if i want them to anyways -- and anger at his hypocrisy -- like it's easy for joker to dedicate himself to chaos and just being in batman's life by putting batman in situations that force him to be a better and better hero, but how can batman sit there and choose and pick what morals he'll uphold and who gets to live and who gets to die?

i want to be your greatest enemy because you are the greatest hero ever, and the only way you and i can keep being the best at what we do is if we do it together, because of what we both believe in.

#does this make sense. they love each other because theyre perfect for each other #but in order to create that perfection they have to do things that build resentment #and in order to ebb that resentment they have to be in constant flux. back and forth. ebb and flow. good and evil. chaos and order.#obsession and indifference.... the two themes i think we miss out on the most bc it hurts when indifference is the opposite of love #and obviously these two cannot be indifferent toward the otther #but when they have plots that do they really fucking hurt!#like when lex luthor comes into the picture and helps joker and joker starts to make batman a little jealous #like okay maybe i dont need you to obsess over maybe any strong ideals can overtake me if u lnow what i mean #and then suddenly batmans gotta prove how well he knows joker and has to be on top of him at all times #um anyways i hope these kind of! made sense!!!!!!!!! djhdkjghijsdfhksdfh #like ideally i think joker just wishes he had batman all to himself but knows he has to share #and hes such a jealous baby that he makes it hard for batman bc of it #and batman is like yes joker jesus fucking christ i love you too but you have to let me have friends #and u have to stop killing people #and jokers like why are you friends with murderers and liars and thieves but IM BAD?#and batmans like bc i actually love everyone and want to help you all and that includes u #and jokers like jo fuck you hypocrtie hahaha see at least in my loneliness i have no laurels to rest on #and bruce is like i may struggle with my morals often but that is only because im always figuring out the best way to keep helping everyone #and if i lose sight of that ill go blind and be like you and then u wont have me anymore #lol sometimes funny tag convos get the dynamic better than the meaty posts #long post #anyways sorry i just havee 2937973957273 thoughts about them and so does everyone and i wanna throw my hat in

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