#i Immediately started doing Worse!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ah yes! the joys of executive dysfunction and something being Fundamentally Broken In Your Braincase!

#quick vent Look Away Nothing To See Here #i just needed to place my emotions somewhere before i really started to spiral #texts from cherished friends should not cause nausea-level anxiety! and yet! #here i am! running away from the ever-present miasma of guilt and stress! #you know a few months ago i was like 'im going to be better about responding im going to do better' #i Immediately started doing Worse! #i think i stressed myself out too much #pretty much every relationship i have ends up completely deteriorating due to my own insecurities and guilt and fucked up brain <3 #ah yes and how could i forget the Commitment Issues and Emotional Block #mentally i am banging my head into a wall #but its fine Its Fine #i mean its not. its really not. but sometimes it seems like the harder i try the harder i fail #which is something i should be used to by now! #okay so it looks like i Am Indeed spiraling so #i am going to go... list some good things in this world and uhhh #well i dont have the car this weekend so cant go for a drive and some boba. um. #i need to organize my room table Yes that sounds distracting and falsely productive #not gonna tag this with anything actually. #love treating tumblr like my personal diary #ah yes its just me. my personal feelings. and the couple thousand people that follow me. #perhaps i will also buy something online with one of the gift cards i found the other day #buttons from michaels!!! i need buttons! i will go do that! #with the knowledge that i have unopened messages to respond to looming in the back of my mind like a noose! yippee yahoo!!! #gonna... turn of replies/rbs just this once since its just a Vent #i just needed to get it Out yk? not looking for anything other than relieving pressure on my brain #ok it looks like i cant turn of replies for individual posts #just... pretend you didnt see this for both our sakes <3 #look away look away

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo.

Star has a point, idk what the four were ticked off about, there is like 99% chance everyone willingly participated in the trolley problem, based on what we've seen of his behavior thus far it's not like Starlo to be that big of a jerk/drag them by force/yell at them to do it. Ed's words:

he does it because Star asks NICELY

clearly jealous

It genuinely seemed like a fun time/fun roleplay, especially since every day is the same. Like, the five are supposed to be a rowdy and adventures bunch, what exactly did Starlo do wrong, I'm genuinely confused and curious. Except taking a big liking in Clover (his posse should know that this is a big moment for him, according to Blackjack they've known each other since high school and had the same liking for westerns. So they were basically a nerd gang.) Starlo was kind, patient and considerate towards Clover the whole time, even warned Mooch about them not being bandits, taught Clover gun safety, wanted to bring his posse along for a fun time, thanked Ace for telling him about getting Clover a new hat...

Sure, at first he only liked Clover for being a human, but as Ceroba says, that changed and he grew to genuinely care about them, plus I can't help but think Star saw himself in Clover and that's part of the reason he was so proud of them all the time even when they messed up (I'll talk more about this at some point)

What exactly made Ace want to leave the gang? He even said how he doesn't mind "getting run over by the fake train"

he's so nice. says sorry for forgetting the safety goggles even when he was scatterbrained due to his excitement. I love him so much

The only real "faults" (I'll call them temporary faults) I saw in Star during the Wild East section was that he was even more enthusiastic and more proud than usual. But how couldn't he be when he met a member of the species that he has admired for so long because they have real cowboys and sheriffs on the surface (who are seen as brave heroes who deliver justice, while Star canonically feels like a nobody farmer). His posse should have realized Clover wouldn't be there forever and just let their boss enjoy himself with his "deputy who'd have to leave sooner or later anyway"(or be more patient with him/ask him why he feels this strongly towards Clover/if there's a deeper reason for that). His friends including Ceroba just turn their back on him so quickly instead. The moment he's gotten the chance to feel valued for once and put himself first and not have to take care of this whole town and everyone in it and live his dream of meeting a real human, suddenly "his personality is damaged?"

Star's literally built this whole town, organised everything, he worries about everyone, Ceroba (plus was the one to give her emotional strength before and after Clover's sacrifice), Kanako, the monsters, his family, struggles with feelings of worthlessness yet never wipes that smile off his face, always does his best to be hopeful and optimistic and make others laugh, gave his posse a nap time so they don't become exhausted, gave Ceroba a free home, didn't act upon his feelings towards her and was a 110% supportive, caring friend instead. THAT'S who he is. He's the papa bear of this friend group, the glue holding everyone together.

He was just *really* excited. Y'all know he's insecure and just wishes to escape who he is and yet y'all blame him for liking Clover so much. Yeah, the four are very clearly jealous. But why won't the four of you control your feelings for a while? As mentioned, Clover WILL HAVE TO LEAVE EVENTUALLY. They won't be Star's "deputy" forever (the kid who's just as into westerns as he is, who values justice just as much, who also values doing the right thing. Someone he clearly felt understood in the presence of, whom he loved; just look at the way he talks about Clove during Showdown). Star seems genuinely confused of what he did wrong poor guy just wanted to live his fantasy for once and feel important:

Even at the beginning Moray's like "oh no Martlet is upset" Mooch replies "don't be a buzzkill nothing exciting ever happens around here" and Ray's like "Yeah you've got a point"

If you all agreed to have a little fun with a human who will very soon leave forever why is Starlo's enthusiasm such a big problem? If the posse weren't into this after all (unless they were simply too jealous which could have been solved with a honest talk and a little patience) why are you doing this "rowdy" job with Star in the first place? Do you want your boring routine day to day life so much back? Or just for Clover to leave (which they will soon enough)? You, western enthusiasts, literally met a real human, A HUMAN FROM WESTERNS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PASSIONATELY INTO (clearly not as passionate as Star but passionate ENOUGH to understand where he's coming from).

... okay.

#Like idk if I'm being biased because Star is my favorite character but I kinda just started thinking more and more about this and... yeesh. #Felt like a BIT of an overreaction to blame Starlo this much #No wonder he cracked #and unlike with Ceroba we actually see him do his very best to “fix” what he did “wrong” #i feel so much sympathy for this guy man #WAY more than for Ceroba #sorry fox lady #uty #undertale yellow #starlo uty #uty starlo #like dude literally had to come crawling on his hands and knees for them to forgive him #what “loyal” “supportive” friends they all are #sobbing for star #poor poor man #meanwhile everyone forgave ceroba for much much MUCH worse #she didn't need to burst into tears and beg for forgiveness even though she SHOULD have #everyone forgives her immediately on the spot + she gets a hug from clover #I'm sorry Starlo #like how was he “selfish” and “reckless” #he did something for himself for the 1st time in his life #y'all are reckless too btw #you put yourself first ONCE and they call you selfish #Star had the right to be mad at them for attacking Clover for no reason other than jealousy #wdym he's throwing you around for human business you literally wanted this #he watched the tapes more than 50 times bc that's how much he hates himself #and yet he's still been doing EVERYTHING in his power to be there for EVERYBODY

[bruisedboys]

hypothetically what would you guys say if I started writing for bruce wayne …. specifically battinson!bruce wayne ……. 🤔😁😁😁

#new hyperfixation alert ‼️‼️‼️ #its so funny how whenever I start fixating on a character I immediately run to tumblr and it probably makes the obsession worse 😭 #do I care? no <3

[babyfairy]

it takes about 5 seconds of thinking about my personal life before i start to cry now i think that’s really cool and good. fun too

#said literally 3 words earlier to my mom and started to cry so i stopped immediately like i’m so tired dude. #i don’t want to think about any of it anymore. i wish i could just go on autopilot. i’m so mentally checked out #from everything and everyone. i feel like i’ve given up on almost everything i enjoy doing #i just work go home watch tv sleep and then repeat it all over and over. i can’t be still. i can’t live in the moment anymore really even #because that means i have to be present and absorb what’s actually going on around me. all the change #i feel like i’m fading into the background more and more every day #i don’t even care either it’s just kind of like …? good lol #the more i fight my grief the worse it gets #if i can outrun it until my time here is up then that’s fine. i’m sure i won’t but. lol #anyway if you read all this i’m fine i just don’t really like being alive it’s whack imo nothing brings me joy long term #it’s all fleeting. mostly i just feel blank and disconnected #and that’s it. and tired lol

[dennisboobs]

do you guys ever sit and remember that dennis takes a mental health day is an episode that exists

#ada speaks #i think i could probably recite the entire one sided phone conversation he has with daisy by heart and i havent seen the ep in months #i don't know how to explain it but #from what little ive read of ross' writing it feels like. when you click onto a fanfic and you feel immediate deep trust of the author #like it just clicks #the cookbook characterization specifically. is like. #i would put my life in your hands #and im sure we will get more eps by him and i really hope that continues because i think its been a very long time since the shows had #writers that i feel Get the characters in a way that feels effortless rather than. overcompensating. #like you can smell that writer's signature no matter how hard they try to cover it up with jokes and subversions #which isnt always a bad thing and im sure if we do get more maloney eps i'll pick up on his writers quirks too #but it doesn't feel like he's trying to copy anyone/pull from old eps it feels like he has a good grasp on things which makes it feel fresh #i find that long running shows hit a point where episodes start to feel less cohesive and more like. segmented short films #but if you have a really good group of writers and they find their groove its like. yeah. ok. #i think season 3 is a good study because marder and rosell's influence is all over the entire season #later seasons you can literally just. Feel which eps they worked on because its got a completely different vibe from the rest of the season #16 still suffers from that segmentation but #i think all the first time sunny writers (and nina's first solo ep) were all absolutely fuckin bangers and they've got a good team in there #anyway. characterization of dennis flipflops a lot. but the rest of the gang arguably gets it worse at times #i think megan's dee is the absolute worst aside from conor galvin's #and i understand wanting to write her as a girlfailure who is just. horrible. but. #ok. comparing self help book dee to ross' cookbook dee. i dont even have to say anything do i. #she's like. The Woman. in the self help book. and i fucking could not stand it. ross' dee is so perfect though #and his frank. MAN. #EVERYONE FUCKING RUINS FRANK. #i think marder and rosell's frank is a lot of fun because hes clearly based on marder's dad and acts believably #a lot of writers struggle to capture his. frank-ness. #he's sort of suffered from like. bland pervy senile old man writing for a long time #and ross brought back him actually being a competent businessman #IM OUT OF TAGS IM SHUTTING UP

[suffarustuffaru]

ok but reinhard x julius would simultaneously be the most hilarious yet tragic pairing of all time. reinhard thinks they met when he was fourteen and julius was sixteen and like yes they did, but julius vividly remembers being ten years old and learning about reinhard and julius was like METAPHORICALLY FROTHING AT THE MOUTH BC REINHARD?? MOST POWERFUL MAN ALIVE?? ILL NEVER MEASURE UP TO HIS LEVEL.... meanwhile reinhards like hahah julius is such a good friend of mine, im so lucky to have him haha we met when we became knights when i was fourteen haha. reinhard sees him as an equal while julius is vividly aware of the Distance between them while joshua is VIVIDLY AWARE OF THE DISTANCE BETWEEN HIM AND JULIUS AND LOATHES JULIUS FOR IT. joshua loathes reinhard too so its like this big giant envy triangle from joshua to julius to reinhard and julius doesnt know about joshua and reinhard doesnt know about julius OR joshua and reinhards so head empty hes like haha julius and joshua are so nice haha. meanwhile joshuas CLENCHING HIS FISTS AND FIGHTING BACK INTENSE RAGE BY GASLIGHTING HIMSELF. hes like haha i love my brother i love my brother i love him so much haha EVEN IF HE HAS HIS HIMBO OVERPOWERED PERFECT BOYFRIEND WHO CAN KILL ANY OF US WITH JUST ONE TOUCH WHILE ALSO PERFECTLY COOKING ANY MEAL IN EXISTENCE....

meanwhile heinkel takes a five extra shots every day on top of the usual bc reinhard and julius clock in at work every day and make lovey dovey eyes at each other EVERYWHERE. joshua and heinkel are going INSANE while julius has a bad case of ace gay person who doesnt know if they wanna Be their crush or if they wanna Be With their crush and Am I Even Having Romantic Feelings? and then theres the crisis of. oh god im not allowed to have this anyway. i have to marry a girl and have kids like a good noble knight. meanwhile reinhard has no idea about any of this, partly bc hes dead inside partly bc of Too Many Powers partly bc of neurodivergence partly bc of also probably being ace partly bc of having to continue the sword saint line.

until one day he has skin to skin contact with julius and is like haha oh whats all these emotions haha? are you okay julius? :,DD and julius promptly decides to NEVER HAVE SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT WITH REINHARD AGAIN. meanwhile felix is pulling his hair out watching all of this unfold. heinkel and joshua have joined forces and are HATING EVERY INCH OF THIS DEVELOPMENT bc they WILL be homophobic only bc its REINHARD AND JULIUS. subaru gets involved in the family drama and julius personally thanks him for clowning on julius’s crush’s dad, who is also julius’s boss. and then reinhard forgets julius even though reinhard was like the MOST LIKELY PERSON to remember julius. and then reinhard’s great great great x100 grandfather vibe checks julius into oblivion. 

and thats the end of reinhard x julius a tragicomedy in several, several parts. 

#reinhard van astrea #julius juukulius #clowns. both of them. #joshua juukulius #heinkel astrea #i have way too many feelings on reinhard x julius. funniest and saddest couple alive. they dont even know theyre a couple but they act like #it. #i stand by my ace spectrum reinhard and julius headcanons. #ALSO WITH ANY JULIUS X ANOTHER GUY PAIRING. REID GOING HAH youre gay. IS GONNA BE TRUE. #EVEN WORSE IF ITS WITH REIDS LITERAL DESCENDANT.... #the hilarity of heinkel being at work and then suddenly reinhard and julius get caught holding hands (soooo scandalous) and he'll be RAGING #WHAT DO YOU MEAN REINHARD HAS A CRUSH ON THE F I N E S T OF KNIGHTS. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. hes immediately homophobic purely bc its #reinhard and the other most famous knight. #joshua is like one of those anime little siblings thats going INSANE bc their older sibling now has a partner #hes gonna be like NII SAMA CHOSE REINHARD OF ALL PEOPLE??? THAT PRETENTIOUS FUCKING PRICK???? #THE LITERAL SWORD SAINT???? URGHGHGHGHGH. #maybe i should start a tag just for my rambling... #arc 5-6 spoilers... #rezero #and its like.... julius and reinhard can relate to having Expectations to follow... family expectations. societal expectations. the pressur #to be refined and perfect and good. #and the importance of Your Name.... #the importance of upholding family legacy.... #and theyve both known loss from a young age thats for sure. #and they both cast large shadows on others... especially their own family. #they had to mature too quick...... #and. of course. julius being the tender age of ten and meeting reinhard CHANGED HIS LIFE.

[jirachibaby]

i just want to draw, this is getting ridiculous

yes it is counter intuitive to draw myself complaining, when drawing is presumably the source of said pain. but it's surprisingly cathartic.

#i started drawing again recently bc my hand hurt anyway #so how much worse could it get #the answer will not surprise you! #also my other wrist also hurts #presumably from using the mouse and typing? not sure #either way it's bullshit and i want a refund #for those wondering yes i have rested #a lot #yes i've worn braces and seen doctors and gotten tests done #nothing has worked and it's been almost 3 goddamn years #the answer is probably something like #'rest for 1-2 months straight with no exertion and then immediately go into PT for another few months to recover before doing anything else #but without a guarantee that would work i can't exactly do that #also i dont have access to PT anyway #im rambling i'll stop #sketch #sketch art

[heavenlydreamangelflyhigh]

moms getting competitive w her eating disorder again

#she keeps mimicking how ive been living and now that ive been sliding back and restricting again due to stress #she's been body checking around me more talking about how much she works out how 'toned' she looks #and dishing up smaller portions than me only eating half and then saying 'oh i'm so full...marie #if you can't finish yours just throw the rest out...' #she had her friend over yesterday and the poor woman made the mistake of confiding in my mother and i about her ed #and i gave her some advice for recovery & let her know that anorexia is hard to tackle esp when you're taking care of someone else at the #same time but its doable..and she was asking about what i do when i relapse #and obv i didnt go into detail so as not to like. give any ideas. but it was nice to have someone Nice to relate to on that front #immediately my mom jumps in with 'oh i restrict too! thats what i do! i go days without eating and count my calories. #marie doesnt work out like i do because their therapist said not to..but i work out so i can stay toned and confident.' like no you dont #it hurts me that shes doing this shit to herself but i know shes doing it in front of me to feel superior because she Always Has #its CYCLICAL with her. as soon as my gf left the mask came back off and she was right back to the mama i know #using MY CLOTHES to body check using MY MIRROR infront of me i feel insane. #like i told her i feel disgusting because i gained two pounds and im at 114 now and she immediately started talking about her weight and #that we need to stop buying 'junk food' #MOMM....OH MY GOOOD... #whatever whatever . i'll get over it in a few mins im just pissy in general and i feel like i live with a 15 yr old sometimes. #ed ment #i will say it uswd to be worse when she wasnt in therapy n shit but hhghhthtnf even my dad who is Never Home has picked up pn it and has #started checking her and telling her to keep it between yhem bc i dont. i canr handle that rn dude

[original-missif]

Hey I've been going through your NFHCC AU tag and I absolutely need to know when Eliot decided to tell Nate and Sophie hes a triplet. Like, did they run into them on a job and are they confused? Or did it just randomly come out one day?

Oh man, I can't believe I have an actual answer for this rather than just speculation. Thank you for asking ^u^

This is a bit of a spoiler for The Hitter Job, Extended Edition, but Nate and Sophie aren't actually the first ones to discover Eliot's blood relations. It's Hardison!

After discovering that Eliot Spencer has only existed for just under 2 years, Hardison, in innocent curiosity, digs in and discovers Eliot's real last name is Stone, and he has two brothers. He doesn't immediately go to Nate with the information, because the deeper Hardison goes the more information he gets and the picture this new information keeps getting worse. Only when Hardison feels comfortable and able to tell Nate about Eliot and his secret brothers and last name (amoung other more upsetting info) does he actually do so.

So for a while only Hardison and Nate are aware of Eliot's brothers and father, and they keep it that way. Nate is, of course, hurt that he didn't know this about one of his kids (it's a similar emotion to when he met Archie) but Eliot is almost 18 and Nate knows how easy it would be to loose the trust Eliot has in him, so he says nothing about it. I don't think it's until a job almost a year later, when the Stone triplets are all 18, does the Leverage team accidentally cross paths with both the Librarians and the Cebu trio.

It's a mess lol, but the mess ends with Eliot, Alex, and Jake all reuniting after 3 years of being apart, and the Leverage team and Librarians (as well as Kai and Ernesto) finally meeting their respective triplet's brothers and friends and guardians.

So while Nate finds out about Eliot's brothers before Sophie, and while Sophie isn't exactly happy Nate kept it from her, Sophie Devereaux (and Parker as well) is absolutely the one who understands why Eliot changed his name and never told her or Nate about his brothers. And while both Nate and Sophie aren't glad they find out by accident and not because Eliot chose to tell them, they understand why he didn't, and most likely never would have had the crossover not happened.

#the crossover event is one of the worst days of eliot's life #because it's everything he was forced to leave behind and stay away from #and he's only been able to get updates on his brothers recently when he starts therapy with col. baird #and for jake and alex he totally dropped off the map so they're not happy but are happy and it's a lot of emotions they weren't ready for #it's also the most confusing day ever for parker cassandra and zeke and kai because there's 3 of them?????? #parker and zeke watched US (2019) or have met doppelgangers and aren't totally convinced one of those options isn't whats really going on #when sophie learns jacob is an art prodigy she's so happy #finally another art nerd to talk about art with. and he's so polite and such a gentleman #and thats how jacob stone outshines eliot spencer in terms of ways sophie can talk to teenagers #kai learns that eliot and the team are all criminals and has to fight every urge she has to call the cops on them or arrest them herself #all because ernesto said they were obviously very close to alex's brother and they didn't see them doing anything illegal #cassandra and hardison and zeke immediately click because science and technology nerds #and jake gives eliot the BIGGEST LOOK because zeke was bad enough before but now eliot has introduced him to other criminals #and worse still is that zeke has heard of parker and is 100% for teaming up with the criminals to do crime #i feel like ernesto is in that awkward between teen and adult stage so he just hangs back to watch out for kai and alex #who is trying very hard not to freak out and not punch eliot directly in the face #nate ford's home for criminal children au #leverage teens au #almost paradise #the librarians #ckane triplets #stone triplets #ask #takemyhand-bitch #reply

[fionnaskyborn]

pros of learning how to play fighting game:

undergoing a learning experience, trying out something entirely different from anything i have previously played

i get to look at a little guy do cool things on my screen :)

cons of learning how to play fighting game:

i am clumsy as all hell with the inputs

the order in which you press and/or hold buttons to create inputs is less like trying to get a sequence of movements right and more like playing a rhythm game (down then while not letting go of down press forward then let go of down and THEN press an attack button on the other side of the keyboard). i suck at rhythm games. hell world

sometimes, the damn things just... won't register? at all? you do a half circle to forward input and the game says "half circle forward? oh, sorry, that's ensenga :)" or, worse, "too slow, that's a regular heavy slash move :)". brother. why must you do me like this.

the area between the knuckles of my ring and little finger hurts like a motherfucker (though this has hurt in various areas since at least this morning, but i'm willing to bet that practicing quarter and half circle inputs for at least an hour did not make the situation any better)

#swear to god learning to play guilty gear is the ultimate test of will #but i am very determined not to drop it despite all of my frustration #it's not like i haven't dropped games in the past - i find it incredibly difficult to play ultrakill because despite the fact that i grew up #on shooters (from rtcw onward) i suck ass at ultrakill (though it's not like i was much good at any shooter that required quick reaction #time at first - it took me a good long while to get good at overwatch) and whenever i boot it up my mind immediately starts telling me that #all i can do in ultrakill‚ The Game That Revolves Around Being Fast And Stylish And Fun‚ is suck at it #which - you guessed it - means i rarely get the will to play it because i know i'll just end up neither having fun or getting better #and it's become very difficult for me to derive joy from trying to complete any videogame but that's a whole different story #and there's no way in hell i'm starting five because once i start five i'll finish playing five and holy shit i really need to start #visiting my therapist again don't i #too bad! :) #at any rate i'm not giving up on guilty gear anytime soon! it's frustrating but i know i'll start having loads of fun once i've mastered the #basics #also don't ask why i'm playing on a keyboard. controller's worse. this is entirely unfamiliar and weird and i don't have the muscle memory #for it but i will someday!! i will!!! #logs #Black Blank blah-blah-blah #< will be using this tag for any post in which i end up complaining about my life‚ feel free to blacklist it anytime

[thewips]

love how the minute i try to record some mc to show off my mc skills immediately go ADIOS

#starts recording and immediately i hv never played worse in my life #bro really said do not perceive me lol

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hour 14 of taking a break from art for the sake of my tendons: i am Wailing and Keening and Scratching Forlornly At My Tablet

#i dont know if im strong enough but i Need to be strong enough #cant continue doodling if ya wrist doesnt work #clenching my fists and chanting 'this is necessary this is necessary' #ive been going way too hard lately. unfortunately #curse this mortal body and its stupid bullshit mechanics that dont even work half the time #gonna cope by eating overly spicy soup and crochet #well no. i cant crochet. ten minutes of that hurts worse than scribbling for eight gay hours #to put it quite simply - but with feeling: FUCK! #absolutely unprompted #howling and sobbing and baying etc etc #i was gonna finish that commission tonight. then i was gonna start on something else i promised Days ago. #maybe get some doodles done for asks. #work on vines part 2. #but it oof ouch too much :/ #what the hell am i supposed to do now #fold laundry? clean my room? read? WRITE? ha dont make me laugh #i havent written in 2 months and im not about to start now #(said immediately before screaming into a pillow) #maybe ill like... go through my replies for once... see if people are trying to talk to me... #see if im brave enough to Directly Interact outside of asks...

[leona-florianova]

Some wild drama happening at my old art high school... New headmaster kicked out three teachers because they liked satirical post on instagram, which made very deserved fun of her. 

She brought it up to police because she thinks liking such posts is participating and enabling bullying and that it paints the school in bad light..  

Meanwhile she is bullying the whole student body along with the teachers/professors..makes Insane rules and  does weird monologues, straight up Umbridge behaviour.. The fact that she hates art and artists and before becoming the headmaster she taught czech... like I remember how she used to berate n ridicule anyone who made even the smallest mistakes...how she made homophobic coments (at liberal left leaning school where at least half of the students are some type of queer)... AND just few hours ago I learned that she got the position she shouldnt have gotten in the first place, because her relative works at the office of our local county representative....while also her, the relative and the county representative are all  KDU-ČSL...Christian and Democratic Union – Czechoslovak People's Party..a centrist conservative party that manages to swing from left to right and right to left depending on need, but always keeps its traditional values - sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia etc. etc... which is just f*cking abysmal.. 

I am no longer a student at the school.. havent been for years.. but damn as an alumni I feel so fragging bad for everyone who has to deal with her and her regime now... 

#i have seen a news report on this whole issue and the moment i have seen her and hear her talk i got goosebumps and felt immediately horribl #apparenly one of the first rules that got everyone so angry was #that she made a rule where nobody can leave the school during free hours #which is nuts because sometimes there are like three hours between classes #and in total that makes about #10 hours of being locked in that old building #oh you want to go buy food from nearby tesco? tough luck #if that happened during my time id go even more nuts and would do worse than draw some silly satirical art #like how bad can you do if most of the students and teachers just fear you #and then she frags up by not being able to handle some satire?? #insane #at ART SCHOOL #people are fortunately starting to ask like.. why.. was the satire made in first place #also like :DD the instagram posts werent even violent or anything... just calling out her bullshit #or on another instagram somebody photoshopped her head on umbridge monologues #insane insane #i dont have enough facts buts its piling up #and now there is a petition to help the teachers who liked the posts #and maybe to stop her from being a headmaster #ssud #šuřka #čumblr

[zhoufeis]

i'd like to remind everyone that i will unfollow everyone instantly who dares to put moonlight mystique on my dash. instantly. as the self-appointed leader of the yuemi-tianqi fanclub, there is no way in hell i will ever, at all, even in the slightest accept this casting or the changes they made to their story. or this show in general. it does not exist. this is war.

#mischa for ts #about me #to be deleted #i still cannot decide which of the two casted leads is worse #but when it was revealed they'd make this story #i do remember #i immediately said: no one can play yuemi like luo qiuyun; but especially not bai lu. #and then they cast her #and don't get me started on HIM like WHERE IS THE POWERFUL SASS VIBE THAT CAN EASILY TURN DANGEROUSLY EVIL???? #LIU XUEYI IS AN UNRIVALED ACTOR AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM FOR NOT CASTING HIM #anyway i hate everything and i will FIGHT

[pallases]

ourgejjg

#i am feeling so ill rn for no reason and i need to shower and wash my hair so bad but i can tell if i do it rn it’ll make the #lightheadedness ten times worse and there is a nonzero chance i will just pass out in there 😭 #best guess is bc my period started today and yeah the first two days suck but they’re not usually This bad #personal #also this is the last thing i need rn it’s tech week and all rehearsals lately have been going/are going to go till 10 pm and i have no tim #to do all my assignments and my probability prof assigned a lab today that’s due TMRW AT MIDNIGHT? <- we usually get a class period btwn #it being assigned and the deadline and he’s not even giving us until the next class period to do it now like why is it due at midnight #instead of noon the next day… also i have not one but two exams immediately following this weekend and i really want to see my family for #easter but that sounds like such a bad idea im so unproductive at home and i’ll be busier than usual when i go home on top of that bc easte #and one of the exams is circuits for which exams are worth 90% of our grade and im averaging a 74% at the moment which is NOT #promising and. AAAAA #also have an exam this thursday which imnot nearly as worried abt but still. and i have to meet w someone abt a scholarship tmrw during my #free period so i Still can’t work on that stupid lab due tmrw night like. this sucks okay ‼️ #the engineering chronicles #the music chronicles #i know it was only a matter of time before musical started stressing me out but 😭 please give me back the joys of saturday’s rehearsal… #oh also there’s ANOTHER probability lab due day after easter and same day as circuits exam and the prof is the same so he knows full well #what he’s doing like. why are you not giving us the usual period in btwn for these anymore fuck you <3 #OH ALSO soldering qualification i need to do for like 3 hours wednesday the night before my thursday exam. nearly forgot abt that one i hat #it hereeee #soldering i could reschedule tho which i might do. but ive already pushed it back once so im like :/ do i really wanna do that #idk. still feel sick as fuck and still need to do physics prelab tonight 😭 it shouldn’t take long but i really don’t want to get up and #stare at my computer even more ifeel so awful rn #ANYWAY. sorry that was oversharing even for me i am just 😐 you know.

[danielnelsen]

there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn

#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon #although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great #whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time #kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’ #or at least triggers that i can plan around #the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one #the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni #and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis? #but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal #i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months #so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically) #so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point #obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again #i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time #BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT #‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately #personal #but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12 #so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’ #and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes #wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health #and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder #so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test #i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing #might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained