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#i had a tag for these kinds of things uhhh
mildmayfoxe · 25 days
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WORLDS GREATEST con artist / cheapskate / stud / boozer / dancer / brat / space cadet / bs'er / hypochondriac / nut / burden / losing gambler / playmate / animal / party-goer
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cerealmonster15 · 7 months
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I’m acting on a whim and posting some unfinished(?) fanfic stuff I wrote like a year ago. Part of my many branches of caterella aus that has vague reference to one of my rsa ocs (dañarte)… but with a cater/idia main plot with jamil/azul happening in he background. My blurbs ended in a bit of a sad spot BUT it was always the intention in my mind that there would be happy resolutions 🙏 these were just little things I wrote for my friend and me bc it was an au we talked about…
Context: idia and cater are bonding, but only online over magicam, and idia is kinda catfishing cater (though not maliciously). when i was trying to name my original rsa oc (char) and looking at names, eppa was one of my initial possible choices. It was maybe my friend who had the idea initially of idia having a fake, RSA princely identity that cater gets to know over magicam?
Eventually I picked char for my actual guy, and dañarte became his cousin via me making typos and more discord sillies lol, but prince eppa became a pseudonym for idia and created another branch for the story. I’ve talked a bit about the dañarte lore and some of that comes into play here. Char I guess would too but I don’t think he got mentioned anywhere lol sorry buddy. But ya idia is pretending to be a prince at rsa named eppa who “secretly likes video games” or whatever I think lol. Idia likes his bond with cater but can’t even begin to think of how cater would react if he found out idia was lying to him.
Anyway. This is more cater/idia (and board game boys friendship) focused than anything (lots of idia pov pining lol) and idk if anyone would wanna read it but I’m putting it here to record keep anyway. No ao3 Bc It’s very unedited and unfinished and just kinda blurb writing lol
But it’s the only time if technically written for caydia. And I do like it. It’s just embarrassing bc I get embarrassed with my oc things and my love for romance drama but i guess I’ve been exposing more of it lately lol… shout out to anyone who recognizes the fic I’m referencing that I DID post lol.
Anyway. Copy pasted from my Google docs:
Idia’s computer pinged as a message appeared on screen.
C.Dia - eppa, are u awake?
Idia looked at the clock, startled. It was 3AM… Idia was still up because he was grinding a new event in one of his many, many, many games, but what the heck was Cater Diamond doing up at this hour? Had he just gotten back from a party?
PrinceEppa: ya, why r u tho? It’s crazy late lol
C.Dia: lol ikr
C.Dia: i just cant sleep rn >.<
PrinceEppa: how come?
C.Dia: i got into a fight w/my bf again…
Idia sighed at his computer. Right… Cater’d started dating that prettyboy from RSA.
PrinceEppa: 0~0 thats like the third time this month…
C.Dia: ya ik ;-;
Idia fiddled with the strings on his hoodie. He didn’t really know if his heart could take hearing Cater talk about another guy, but the thought of Cater laying around sad and alone made him ache just as bad… But what was he supposed to say in times like these? Idia didn’t know anything about comforting someone about relationships! He barely talked to people in general!
Thankfully, Cater kept going and spared Idia the anguish of trying to figure out what to do next.
C.Dia: are u going to bed rn?
PrinceEppa: no lol ill be up for a while longer.
C.Dia: royalty keeps busy at all hours huh?
Idia tensed at the mention of his lies.
PrinceEppa: something like that. Balancing the princely duties and the princely gamer sessions is tough work 😌
C.Dia: LOL. never change eppa <3
His face grew warm, a bittersweet swelling filling his chest.
C.Dia: can u chat with me a lil longer then?
C.Dia: tell me about ur day or ur games or w/e? I kinda just want a distraction, i dont really wanna be alone rn
C.Dia: if ur not busy anyway >.< it’s oki if you wanna focus on ur gamer mode lololol
Idia paused for a moment, before moving his mouse and closing out of his game. The rest of the event grind could wait.
PrinceEppa: im never too busy for you, cay.
C.Dia: thx <3
Sometimes, even for the prince of otakus, there were more important things than gaming…
But only when those things were really, really, really special.
*
“I heard Cater and that RSA boyfriend of his broke up.” Azul spoke after several minutes of silently moving chess pieces around the board.
Idia frowned. “Don’t try and use that as a distraction from the game just because I’m winning.”
Azul kept his face neutral so as not to betray any bluff he might have. “Perish the thought. I just thought his sweet prince eppa would be interested in such information.”
“SHH!” Idia hissed. “Not so loud! Besides, I-I already know. He told me…”
Azul raised an eyebrow. “He told you, or he told Eppa?”
Idia focused on the chess piece he moved. “Same thing.”
Azul sighed as he took his own piece and contemplated his next move. “Hardly. Honestly, how can you ever expect to move your relationship forward if you don’t unmask yourself? All this bonding will be for nothing if you don’t use it to the full extent!”
Idia rolled his eyes. “I don’t wanna hear it from you of all people. How long have you been saying you’re gonna ask Jamil out?”
It was Azul’s turn to shush Idia, face reddening. “How is that even relevant?!”
Idia grinned. “Cuz you keep going on and on to me about how I should be more confident with Cater, but you won’t even take the plunge with Jamil! Hypocrisy much?”
“I’m simply waiting for the right time. I would be a fool if I didn’t stick with my patient strategy of getting him to warm up to me before striking! Move too early, and I’ll undo all my progress…”
Idia sighed, thinking back to all the hours he’d spent DMing Cater under a fake name. They’d gotten quite close, but as far as Cater knew, Idia was still that vague acquaintance in the back of his classes.
If he messed up by telling him his identity at the wrong moment, or didn’t phrase it right…
“Lost progress… that’s exactly what I’m afraid of…”
*
“Idia!” Cater’s cheerful voice called out as he approached the lecture hall desks. “You’re in person again today; that’s three for three this week!” He spoke with a smile as he slid into the seat next to Idia.
Idia jumped at the sudden appearance of his classmate. “O-oh, uh, yeah…”
“Oh, B-T-W, did you hear that Azul and Jamil were on a date Friday night?” Cater said in a half-whisper, leaning close to Idia’s ear.
“Uhh…” Idia didn’t really know how to answer that. Sure, he knew Azul had some overly complicated date-but-not-a-date plan to get Jamil to hang out with him, and then ask him out for real, but how did Cater hear about…?
“I was hangin’ out with the pop music club on Friday when Ruggie texted Kalim that he was serving their table! Isn’t that just crazy?”
Ah. Kalim and Ruggie. That explained it all.
“I mean, I always wondered if those two had something goin’ on, y’know? Like, they had that ‘will they, wont they, playing hard to get’ kind of vibe. Super cute, if you ask me.”
Idia wasn’t really sure that ‘cute’ was a good way to describe anything those two were involved in, but he simply nodded his head along to Cater’s blathering, as he discreetly pulled his phone out of his pocket and switched to his Prince Eppa magicam account, reading the messages from that morning.
PrinceEppa: howre u feeling?
C.Dia: like total trash lol…..
C.Dia: ik he was a jerk but like i miss him, yknow??
C.Dia: or maybe i just miss having someone there. And its almost valentines day lol. Shit timing amirite?
PrinceEppa: that really does suck… im sorry, cater.
C.Dia: thanks, it’s oki tho. Better to get it overwith lol
C.Dia: i really dont wanna get out of bed or go to class…
PrinceEppa: mood
PrinceEppa: u really should tho. Ik it’s hard but itll feel worse if u stay there all alone
C.Dia: urk. Idk if i have the energy to be around people today
PrinceEppa: tbh i get that… i dont rlly wanna go face people either today…
PrinceEppa: how about we try it together?
C.Dia: i wish u went to my school so we really could go to class together <3
C.Dia: but oki. I'll try, for you :)
PrinceEppa: :)
If Cater really was feeling as bad as he felt, he was pretty good at hiding it with that blinding smile and bubbly laughter.
Sure, Idia’s first instinct would be to immediately enable anyone that wanted to spend the day hiding in bed, but… The thought of Cater lying alone in the dark with his thoughts just made Idia sad.
And, if he did that, Idia wouldn’t get to see him in class today…
“Oooh, do you think Azul and Jamil are gonna go out again on Valentine’s day?”
That depends on what Jamil answered on Azul’s questionnaire, Idia thought to himself. He was sure he’d get a full report from Azul later that day at their next club meeting.
Cater sighed. “Another Valentine’s day, and Cay-Cay’s single yet again!” He smiled, but Idia felt that his eyes weren’t lit as bright as they normally were as he spoke. “But, I’m sure some of the boys at Heartslabyul will be hangin’ around like always. It’s never lonely when you live with friends!” He turned to face Idia again. “What about you, Idia? Any steamy plans for Valentine’s day?”
“U-uh…” Idia started fiddling with his hair. It was now or never. ‘A-Actually, Cater… M-my dorm, Ignihyde, we’re h-hosting a movie night that night… Y’know, ‘cause a lot of us don’t really have plans for Valentine’s day and don’t wanna be sulking alone…” He swallowed a lump in his throat and took a deep breath. “...Y-you can come join, i-if you want…?”
Cater blinked a few times, a look of surprise on his face, before breaking into a smile and giving Idia’s arm a small squeeze of a hug. “OMG, movie night at Ignihyde?! I hear you guys have like, the sickest setup! That sounds great; count me in!”
Idia breathed a sigh of relief as the professor began class.
A few seconds in, his phone quietly vibrated as a single message came through. Idia glanced at it from down in his jacket pocket.
C.Dia: a rlly sweet guy in my class just invited me to hang out w/him and his dormmates on valentines day
C.Dia: u were right about getting out of bed. i think ill be okay today ^.^
***
“Hey, Idia…” Cater put his phone down, magicam abandoned where he’d paused on a video of a turtle swimming around an aquarium. “We’ve gotten a bit closer lately, huh?”
Idia paused the game he had up on his tablet. “H-huh? Oh, uh, y-yeah…”
“So, uh,” Cater played with a strand of his hair. “Do you mind if I talk to you about something a little… personal?”
Idia froze. Abort mission, find an escape route, he was not a high enough level for this kind of topic yet! Maybe Eppa was, but Idia!?
And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to just say no when Cater was looking at him with those soft green eyes.
“S-sure…”
“Thanks! Y’know, you’re really sweet, and like, such a good listener…”
Idia hoped the redness of his face was hidden behind the flames of his hair that flickered in every direction.
“And I’ve just been feeling so… confused lately, about where my heart’s at. My feelings feel like they’re being pulled in so many different directions!”
Idia could feel his heart hammering in his chest.
Cater sighed, laying his head down on the table. “My ex asked me on a date today. He wants me to give him another chance.”
The burning sensation from Idia’s insides made a 180 as he felt his blood go cold. This was the last thing he wanted to hear his normie crush come and tell him without warning…
“And the craziest part? I said I’d think about it.”
Oh god.
“I know that’s like, totally insane after everything that happened, but… I dunno, seeing him around now that he goes to school here just has my head all scrambled!” He picked his head up from the table, opened his phone again, and gave the turtle video a like before standing back up suddenly. “Gosh, sorry, I don’t know why I just came over here and dumped that on you, Idia. I guess I just find you so easy to talk to, I get a little carried away!” He said with a nervous laugh.
Lucky Idia.
“But, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure things out for myself. It’ll be A-okay!” Cater gave an unconvincing thumbs up before turning to leave.
Super lucky.
*
“Azul, today might actually be the worst day of my life.” Idia said as he dragged himself into the clubroom and plopped down in the seat across from Azul in their usual spot.
“...Hm? Oh, hello, Idia.” Azul looked up from his phone. “I believe you said the same thing when you came in here to lament about Cater getting together with his… boyfriend, a while back.” Azul seemed tense at the very concept of Danarte. He hadn’t exactly been a fan of the guy since he transferred to not just NRC, but into Scarabia specifically, where he’d made a point to hover around Kalim and Jamil as much as possible.
“I mean, it’s basically the same level of despair. Cater just told me Danarte not only asked him out, but that he’s considering it!” Idia dropped his head facedown onto the table in sorrow. “Like, how could I lose to the same guy twice!? Ugh, honestly, there’s no one as pathetic as me. I am having the WORST time, and NO ONE could possibly understand the agony I’m in right now!”
Azul chuckled, his tone solemn and hollow. “I’ll do you one better. Jamil broke up with me today.”
Wait, what?
Idia’s head shot up as he squinted at Azul, who was gazing sadly at his phone again. “Huh!? Wh- Huh!? What happened?”
Azul sighed. “We had another fight- and I mean, you know how we are. We have our differences, our disagreements, and the two of us can be a bit… stubborn at times. But we always figure it out! We were doing so well… At least, I thought we were.” Azul rested his chin in his hands. “But I suppose Jamil didn’t feel that way. He said he’d had enough of the relationship. Enough of me.”
Azul bowed his head to stare down at the table.
Idia wondered if he was trying not to cry. He looked out the window, both out of respect, and also because it felt kind of awkward to stare at his friend who was clearly just barely holding it together after getting dumped.
After a few seconds of awkward silence, when it was clear neither of them wanted to discuss their woes anymore, Idia spoke. “Uh, wanna play the VR headset boardgames today? Now’s kinda the perfect time to… Escape reality, right?”
Azul lifted his gaze to Idia. “...You just want to make me use the virtual dice again because you know I can’t use my perfected dice strategy on them, don’t you?” He straightened his posture, standing up to get the headsets. “I’ll have you know I won’t let your silly game of virtual chance best me today!”
Oh thank god that worked. Idia didn’t think either of them could handle any more emotions for the day, so he stood up and followed Azul with a grin. “Hehe, we’ll see about that, Azul.”
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eyes1nthewoods · 11 months
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watched nimona. it was ok.
#(i'm very mean in the tags sorry :()#i havent seen the comic so my criticism is purely of the movie.#idk just kind of a mid kids movie. balister is very cute i liked him.#nimona......i want to like her but idk. i think her backstory should've had more attention put towards it. more hints about it#instead of the really abrupt scene near the end that explains everything. that was stupid.#(honestly better yet don't show anything have a big heartfelt outburst where she half explains what happens#(gross crying optional but preferred)#and leaves the rest to the audiences imagination. maybe a scene with voiceover that doesn't quite reveal everything)#the setting is pretty cool. story didn't make much sense to me.#''the wall is there to protect us against monsters!!'' but there's literally only one monster and it's nimona.#which could have been ok if the movie had been...better written i guess??#like do the guards just sit around doing nothing. is it a police state?? i mean obviously they're cops but. they don't do anything.#they aren't even shown to be especially bad or anything just incredibly incompetent#uhhh the romance is cute. it's nice. i wish it was more fraught and bitter.#the passage of time isn't clear it seems like it happens over the course of like a day???#balister learning to accept nimona was clumsy and rushed#the message of the film is nice. would be better if the movie was good.#i think the movie could've been longer and it would've fixed most of these things#i REALLY liked the animation though. the eyes being permanantly dilated was ehhh but forgivable on account of balister being very cute.
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calcescarp · 2 years
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sorry i'm gonna do more anime posting later because i haven't watched inuyasha in a decade and i'm gonna come back later to scream about all the things i forgot or misremembered
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ghosts-lot · 18 days
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i just lived through the scariest moment of my life i feel like im going to go completely bald from the stress in the next hour or so
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twinktosterone · 3 months
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doing kind of okay at this pretending to know italian thing
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neverendingford · 3 months
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.
#tag talk#just realized the intense depression and associated anger issues and intrusive violent thoughts are prolly related to the Lamictal I starte#I was like “I don't think I need this don't think it'll help but I'll try it for science” because I'll try anything once#and uhhh. I went to go to bed and realized there was a bowl with food tucked into my bed covers.#laundry all over is one thing. that's kind of normal. but food in my bed is massive warning bells so I was like uh oh that's real depressio#so anyway i messaged my dr like hey I think these meds are making me feel so fucking lethargic and despondent and also I want to kill peopl#because I would just stop taking them but I'm willing to see what she thinks.#also my current psychiatrist is really great and I like her a lot idk if I already talked about her but she's really cool.#the first one I got was an absolute dick and was passive aggressive towards me and also straight up lied in her notes about me?#said that I had said I'm not sexually active and like. bitch where did I ever say that ever that's literally untrue and you wrote it down.#like. I don't think medical professionals are supposed to lie about you actually that's kind of a big problem#also she was like “I'm not seeing adhd here at all” and wanted to do a full on adhd diagnosis before trying any meds for it#whereas my new person was just like “oh you don't have to talk about being adhd it's pretty obvious to me” and I was like kissing you kissi#ng you kissing you kissing you kissing y#but yeah. I don't think I want to keep taking these meds and I think I'm just gonna take the meds I have to today not the short term ones#some days I just don't need my adhd meds or I would rather feel my normal relatively unproductive self.#still gonna take the ssri and estrogen obvs cause those need to keep up levels in my body and also duh I wanna keep my E levels up#but the others nah my body is super sensitive to meds (or any substances tbh) so I need a break from them today I feel really unbalanced#I did have my gf deadass ask me “should I be worried?” when I mentioned the violent intrusive thoughts and I was like no no no no it's fine#because like. I've never genuinely hurt someone fully impulsively like that. it's all thoughts it's all in the head#I'm not gonna kidnap and murder and dissect anyone it's just theoretical situations my brain likes to fuck me up with.#but it does kinda suck to have people around you inherently mistrust you because of how your brain works.#my brother told me a while back that he locks his door at night because he's worried about me and you do know how fucking hurtful that is?#the person you trust enough to move out and move in with is afraid of you enough to lock their door at night.#not like that would stop me if I genuinely did try to hurt him obviously. interior door locks are a joke.#but like... that someone would hear you talk about intrusive thoughts and genuinely think you capable of them to some extent.#idk that hurts a lot.#I wish I weren't like this.
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catboykilljoy97 · 7 months
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Look. I'll be honest. I didn't start feeling weird about aging until I hit my mid-20s and people around me started being like "don't feel insecure about your age! Getting older doesn't make you a gross boring old hag like everyone else says it does!"
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spidersunday · 9 months
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me when i cant mass delete my twitter posts so everyone knows how chronically online i am
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myster-tea · 2 years
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I’m working on what would be Caedes’s statement to The Magnus Institute about him slowly going crazy from that god damn butchering job-
#basically he was Just Some Guy then he got a job with this Other Guy and the Other Guy (Jayson) told Caedes that “’lol just chop this shit#up idc we grind it almost all up anyways-‘ so Caedes got that job then one day BOOM a whole fuckin human leg is there to chop up and hes all#like ‘AYE BOSS THERES A FUCKIN THIGH ON MY COUNTER WHAT TF’ and Jayson is like “oh that’s not human you silly billy 🤪 that’s obviously part#of a pig or somethin I don’t know damn shit about animals- I mean what I’m sooooo educated on animals omg wow I’m smart big brain wooo’#so now Caedes is very “’THATS SUSPICIOUS- THATS WEIRD-‘#and he finds out that literally all the fuckin meat in this town is a mix of human and animal- it being about %70 human so eeewwww#ew cannibalism that sure isn’t good-#or something along those lines then he gets desensitized to it and kind of like how in The Killing Floor they said you can’t be there for to#long because you’ll go crazy? kind of the same thing here!- that sure is great!- /sarc#but that’s the basic thing-#and it would be Caedes coming in and writing the statement around the time John starts working there- I think-#about when the Jane Prentice arc is about to happen he records Caedes’s statement and after is like ‘uhhh well it’s obviously just#hallucinations or something this place never even exsisted I looked into it! it’s a fake statement made to creep people out’ then finds out#people went missing and were seen around Caedes last#and he was leading them to the butcher shop- but it was never an official business so that’s why it had no records or somethin#wooo rambling in the tags fun
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normansnt · 4 months
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Almost got you, bitch
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(Hazbin Adam x fallen angel!Male reader)
No warnings I think perhaps cursing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You were a fallen angel.
You questioned heavens doings after finding out about the extermination, and of course heaven didn't like that.
When you fell, your best friend, Adam, was the most pissed off. Granted he was the one who told you about it one night when he was drunk and you had to get him home but he didn't know you were gonna make such a fuss about it.
You were in heaven, everything was fine you had your friends there, no one important to you fell before you, and most importantly you had him there, your best friend. Why would you care about those misfits in hell??
All though he shouldn't have been surprised, even though you put on a hard shell and make very similar jokes than himself you are a kind soul, a very kind one at that always helping others. But still, you fell, you are not here with him anymore. That sucked.
*flashback*
Heaven was a pretty new invention and adam and eve were trying to settle, for that god sent an angel, you.
When you knocked on the door adam went to open it.
"Who the fuck is here this early?" Was the first sentence he ever spoke to you.
Now you aint gonna take shit from nobody.
"Im the fuck who is here get you asses moving cuz we're going to heaven" you said with an equally annoyed tone.
Thats when Adam knew he liked you. And with the same amount of sass to each other the two of you became fast friends.
"I Almost got you, bitch" yelled Adam. You guys were playing flying tag cuz he just got his wings and they were completely new to him.
"You wish, fucker" you answer with a shit eating smirk. You were the one to teach him how to fight, the one who helped him through his divorce withe eve, you were his best friend.
*end flashback*
"...Shit" adam called seraphim, an idea occurred to him, how about they move up the next extermination, that way he has a reason to get down there sooner and bring you back, also slather some demons.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you woke up in hell, the first thing you saw was someone trying to cut out your organs.
"WAAHH...MOTHERFUC-- WHAT THE HECK R U DOING??" You jumped up and started yelling at the demon.
"Calm down pretty boy, the cannibals pay good money for fresh organs like yours."
"Well guess what jackass I dont give tiny rats ass how good those fuckers pay you my organs aint for sale" and with that sentence you quickly kicked him in the nuts and when he fell to the ground brocke his neck. Yeah...you were kind but god help people who mess with you...literally.
"Well shit, never had to fight without wings."
"...Interesting, and here I thought I would have to come to your rescue in exchange for your soul." Came a...static voice from behind you.
"Uhhh...thank you?? I guess, but there will be no taking my soul." You looked at the grinning man in a red suit.
"Such a shame, you'd be my first fallen angel"
"...Ok, listen can I help you with something ooooorr??"
"Not particularly I just wanted your soul, but alas that ship has sailed, however since you just fell I assume you have no where to stay" his grin stretched a bit as he said that.
"Well, you assume correctly but Im not gonna agree to any deal you have to offer just for a place to stay"
"Well, well, you are smart one even though angles can be so gullible, but no there is no deal the only thing you'd have to do is perhaps act nice"
"I can do that." you answered finally smiling at the strange man.
"They are coming" you whispered to yourself. After you arrived in hell, Alastor offered you a place in the hazbin hotel and you were happy to take it. This was over 7 months ago, in that time you grew close to everyone who was there, they were your found family and now you will protect them even if its against you first family.
Today was the day of the extermination, the day you'd have to fight heaven, the day you's have yo fight Adam. Even though you never admitted to yourself you had deeper feelings for him than friendship, but since he literally went around fucking bitches that kind of lowered your hopes.
The fight was raging on. Since you were the one who literally trained these exorcists they were no match for you. However Alastor was supposed to take on Adam, and that worried you. You knew how powerful Alastor is supposed to be but you have seen Adam's powers first hand.
Just as you suspected Alastor couldn't take on Adam. So Charlie had to take over which made you even more worried. You climbed up and saw Adam hitting Charlie into the hazbin hotel sign.
"NO" you yelled
Adam turned towards you with a smile that said he was ready to kill, that disappeared however when he saw that it was you.
"(Y/N)...."
He looked at you for a moment when someone punched him out of no where.
"Oh shit" you said while looking at Adam flying away and than back at who punched him. Lucifer.
"Lucy?" U asked baffled. You met him when he was still in heaven. Personally you loved his creative ideas while the making of earth so you guys would talk a lot. You also found it highly unfair when he fell and considered going after him, but Adam held you back.
"...Who--? SHIT (Y/N)? Omg why tf are you down here??" He asked half pissed half happy to see you.
"Well a little this, a little that, you know, also I fucking fell so." You replied while hugging him.
"How many of you fuckers do I have to beat before I can take (Y/N) home with me" said Adam very pissed after crawling out from the window he was punched into.
"What?" You asked
"I'm the only one that matters, you messed with my daughter and now Im gonna fuck you" said Lucifer proudly smirking. Everyone went silent while you were trying to hold back your laughter.
"Khmm...its fuck you up, dad" corrected Charlie
"Wait what did I say?" Asked Lucifer confused.
After this a kind of...fight started between Lucifer and Adam. Well, only adam was fighting Lucifer was mostly changing forms.
It was quite funny to watch.
At the end Lucifer won over Adam and he wanted to kill him, but your body moved on its own and you threw yourself at Adam.
Charlie also told his dad to stop.
You stood up from Adams body.
"Take your angel army, and go home" you told him in a soft tone.
He painfully stood up and looked at you with sadness...and something you couldn't quite place.
"(Y/N)..." come with me, please. Is what he wanted to say, but he knew you are still mad at him and that your answer will be no. Or he just didn't want to seem vulnerable in-front of demons.
"I Almost got you, bitch"
Your lips twitched upwards a little bit.
"You wish, fucker"
And with that the angel army and adam flew up to heaven.
When adam arrived in heaven, something downed on him.
"Fuuuuuuckkk..IM GAY-"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is he an (at best) mid white man who thinks he is the shit?
Yes.
Is he a fucking loser though and a lil bitch
Also yes.
BUT YK WHAT.
HE IS FUNNY AF I LOVE HIM AND HIS SONGS R FUCKING AWSOME.
HOPE MY FELLOW ADAM ENJOYERS LIKED IT THOUGH😎
I hope you enjoyed your reading ladies gentleman and others, good afternoon good evening and good night🦖🧡
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cerealmonster15 · 2 years
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MORE!!! [1] [2] [4]
twst stardew au tag -> twst farming sim au, bc we respect harvest moon in this house
ft protag caycay adventures + chenya jumpscares in the mines
also some stuff i found in discord w/my friend as i was comin up with hypothetical ~cutscenes and mechanics~ lol
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ellemaru · 5 months
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"I Like Your Bike"
Biker!Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem Reader
Summary: On your way back to the hotel with friends, a shiny black motorcycle that belongs to a mysterious serviceman catches your attention.
Word Count: 1,289 Cw | Mentions of alcohol and intoxication
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A/N: The character is implied to be black, but you can imagine them however you like !
Drunken laughter mingled with the sounds of other chatter on the bustling street as you walked with your 2 girlfriends and talked with each other, recapping your first day in Manchester, England, and the first out of many stops on the two-month-long trip in Europe. Your heels had become uncomfortable long ago, making you ever so grateful that you had been smart enough to think to bring a pair of flats along as you indulged in Manchester’s nightlife. The group had barhopped and chatted with strangers all night, getting the full Manchester experience as everyone explored the city and took in the views.
As the group neared their hotel, something shiny appeared in the corner of your eye, causing you to slow down your walking speed, the swinging heels in your hand slowing down as your strides did. Your brown eyes narrowed slightly as you tried to make out what the thing was, struggling due to the fact that it was night and you were nearsighted. As you tapped your friend’s shoulder and began to walk toward the unknown object, your eyes adjusted slightly, realizing it was a motorcycle, one of the nice, slick, black ones.
You mindlessly began to run your hand along the smooth and shiny exterior of the motorcycle until a voice popped you out of the trance.
“Mate, you can’t just touch random people's bikes,” 
When you looked up, you were met with a brick wall in the form of a man. He stood around 6’3 and was obviously jacked based on the way his compression shirt hugged his pectoral muscles and biceps. His bright hazel eyes practically had you hooked already, was it the alcohol, or were they that pretty? No one knows, but you did know that this guy was HOT.
“Uhhh, I um,” you giggled and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear before remembering that 
You are NOT Debby Ryan and you are NOT on Radio Rebel
You forgot to lay the lace down again by your ear when you installed your wig earlier
The man cocked an eyebrow as he looked down at you, the action slightly concealed by the black balaclava he wore that had a skull print on it, an interesting choice considering the heat.
“Are you not hot in that mask?”
“Did you not notice your friends aren’t here anymore?” he replied with a teasing tone. 
When you turn around, you see that your friends have indeed left you with the mysterious man and continued on to their hotel.
“Lass, I think you need some better friends,” he let out a quick chuckle, like…the personification of haha.
“Your laugh is funny,” you giggle as you lean in closer to him, looking at the metal tags that hang around his neck. 
“Simon Riley,” you read his name slowly as you looked up, tilting your head to the side slightly, wondering if it was actually his name or if he was wearing a deceased relative's dog tags. He nodded as he looked back down at the smaller woman. They sat in silence for several awkward moments before you decided to break the silence.
“I like your bike,”
“Thanks,” annnnd it was back to silence again
“You don’t talk much,”
“Not much to talk about with a random drunk lass I’ve met,”
“Fair point…What kind of bike is that?” that question was all you needed to get Simon’s attention.
That one question led to a whole conversation as he explained the ins and outs of his bike which was apparently a Yamaha R1 but other than that, he was fluent in yapping. The only thing you were focused on was his deep voice, thick British accent, and the way his compression shirt hugged all the right places on his torso. It seemed he didn’t even notice that you were looking at him with hearts in your eyes, mainly due to the fact that you had drunk way too much earlier. 
“Wanna go for a ride?” he asked you as he leaned against his bike.
The first thing that ran through your mind was “What kind of ride”.
“Huh?”
“I asked do you want to ride my motorcycle with me, like, do you want to be my backpack?” he asked again, giving his signature, stereotypical haha laugh.
“Oh uhh sure! I mean um that sounds like fun or whatever,” when you caught yourself seeming too eager, you changed up the way you phrased your sentence quickly.
When he turned around to give you a jacket and a helmet, he patted his pockets like he always does when he’s missing something before groaning from annoyance and pinching the bridge of his nose with his gloved hand.
“Well, I unfortunately don’t have an extra jacket or helmet on me right now so it seems we won’t be doing any riding today, but we could always do it another time I guess, dunno,” he mumbled the last part, “How long will you be here in Manchester?” he inquired, wondering how much time he would have before you would leave the city and the country
“I think we’re going to be here for at least another week,” you shrug as you see him frantically pull out his phone, almost dropping it once before he hands it to you, the contact screen open. Once you two exchange numbers, silence falls upon the two of you again.
“I could walk you back to your hotel if you would like, I don’t like the idea of you walking alone at night, especially as a tourist. Plus my mom would kill me if she found out I didn’t offer,” he laughs as he holds out his arm towards you.
“That would be nice,” you smile as you hook your arm in his, your brown skin contrasting with his pale one. He quickly unhooks his arm to place his leather jacket over your shoulders before linking arms again and heading on your way to the hotel. During the walk back, the two of you got to know each other, learning about interests and current status in life along with cracking jokes and just breaking the ice. It was about a 15-minute walk back to the hotel and once the two of you got back, you sighed, a little sad that your time together was already over for the day.
“We’re here. Thank you for walking me back to my hotel again, it was really sweet of you to do this because you really didn’t have to,”
“Of course, what kind of man would I be if I didn’t offer?” he snapped a flower from a nearby plant and handed it to you, “a pretty flower for the pretty lass,” he winked as you took it.
“Ugh, you Brits are such charmers, I’m quite sad to say that it worked too,” you both laughed for a few moments as he unlinked your arms.
“You free tomorrow at 19:00?”
“I’m so glad I understand military time, and yes I am,”
“Alright lass, I’ll be here in the lobby then, make sure you’re on time,” he gently takes your hand in his gloved one and kisses it through his balaclava. He gives one more wink before he turns on the heels of his combat boots and strides confidently out of the hotel. You stood there, absolutely shocked at what occurred before you realized you still had on his leather jacket. You ran outside to find him and tell him he had forgotten his jacket, but by that time, he had already disappeared into the cool Summer night. At least that meant you were guaranteed to see him tomorrow because there was no way he would just forget the nice leather jacket.
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piastree · 5 months
Text
Take a Chance with Me | OP81
oscar piastri x reader (fc: huh yunjin)
— Part 1
Next Part
Summary : Y/n's mistakenly takes someone's drink at a party. Despite the initial embarrassment, they engage in light chit-chat and discover a sense of familiarity. Oscar introduces himself, and they exchange greetings, marking the beginning of a new chapter in their story.
Notes: hiii! this is my first writing, if there are any grammatical errors or some other mistakes i wanna apologize in advance. I hope you like it and have fun while reading this<3 lemme know if you like it thankyouuuu
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Y/n chuckled when she remembered how embrassed it was when she took the wrong glass and sipped it like nothing was wrong. But she could feel the confused look from someone beside her. "I'm thinking you might have grabbed mine by mistake." She glanced to her side, wondering if the words she had just heard were indeed meant for her.
"Huh?" She finally turned to fully face that man. He chuckled at her puzzled expression, but eventually, with a raised eyebrow, he pointed to the glass she was holding. "Oh my goodness! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to take your drink." Her eyes widened in shock, and her heart raced as embarrassment flooded over her. He held back his laughter. "No worries. I can take another one," as he said, he cracked a grin like a friendly cat. His eyes squinted playfully, giving off a vibe that was both laid-back and amused. "Let me grab you another one." "No need for that, I-" Ignoring him, she sauntered away to fetch a new drink, intending to replace the one she had mistakenly taken from him earlier. It didn't take long for y/n to return. Once she returned, they engaged in light chit-chat, chatting about who invited them to the party. It wasn't until later that she realized the guy she'd been talking to looked kind of familiar. "So, which friend brought you here tonight?" she asked. "Oh, just through some mates, racing circles and all. What about you?" "Just here with a friend. By the way, you seem oddly familiar. Have we met before?" "I get that a lot. Maybe you've seen me on the street or something."
She just laughed, shrugged it off, and took another sip of her drink. At the same time, he shot her a cheeky smile, sneaking a few glances while she checked out the scene around her. After a bit, he decided to break the ice, "I'm Oscar, by the way."
"I'm y/n. Nice to meet you, Oscar."
With a cheerful smile, they exchanged a warm handshake. It marked the beginning of a new chapter in their story.
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oscarpiastri
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, mclaren and 365,288 others
oscarpiastri Wowee… that was a cool weekend 🧡
view all 3,637 comments
user just calm down bro, it's your first season💀
user our starboy!! so proud🧡🧡
user what an incredible talent boyyy!
yourusername such a fake rookie
oscarpiastri i like to keep things low-key🤭
yourusername can't wait for another surprise then
user lmaooo
user your pace and overtakes are 1000/10 🔥👏🏻
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, yourbff and 1,288 others
yourusername camera crumbs
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yourbff MYY GIRLLLL<3
user cutiesssss
oscarpiastri those flowers have nothing compared to u
yourusername lol you're making the flowers jealous, i'll let the garden know it needs an upgrade😂
user what oscar is doing here????
user did i miss something??
user OSCAR?!!?????? FLIRTING TO A GIRL???
yourusername chill guys he likes to joke around😂😂
user new wag alert!!
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yourusername added a story
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bring it home, boy!
yourbff uhhh i can smell something fishy yourusername care to elaborate, sherlock?
user wow??? what is this now??
landonorris where is the cheer for me??? i thought we were friends yourusername lol we are! yourusername goodluck lando! i'd love to see both of you on the podium<3
yourusername
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tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, yourbff and 14,555 others
yourusername P2 and P3, boys!! Enjoy your moments. What a day to remember 🧡
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user CUTEE OUTFIT Y/N!!
user and now lando also here? who's she
user wow oscar put earmuffs on her??
user at this point i won't believe if they're just friends
landonorris oh now i'm your friend?? cool thanks
oscarpiastri stop overacting💀
yourusername should i post a whole photo dedication for you?😉
landonorris i'm not looking for trouble
user what is that mean landooo?? bcoz someone must be jealous?😂
user look at how oscar defending her lol
oscarpiastri you owe me a drawing of a four-leaf clover on my helmet
yourusername stay tuned for some top-notch artistry<3
user oscar indirectly said that y/n was his lucky charm!!
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"Can't you stay for one more night?" Oscar asked. He walks over to y/n who is arranging her luggage a little hurriedly.
Y/n smiled before saying, "work can't wait. But I promise I'll come another day."
"Okay, i'll counting the days until you return."
She laughs, then stands up and pulls Oscar into her arms. "You're doing a good job. Keep going!"
"I'll miss you." He hugs her tighter, as if he's not willing to let her go.
"Me too."
They fall into a moment of silence, soaking in each other's warmth before having to go back to being apart for a period of time they don't know how long.
She never expect the party that night to lead her into a complicated situation, where she has to love someone who is out of her reach. Remembering how stupid she was that night for not recognizing Oscar right away when his face looked so familiar, and how Oscar didn't say anything until she finally realized.
"Oh! I have something for you."
She opens her bag and takes something out. A bracelet with a four-leaf clover. "I don't have the skill to draw, and I wouldn't risk making your helmet look ugly."
Oscar takes the bracelet and immediately puts it on. "I can't agree more. But it's more than enough," he replies mischievously while laughing. He is so happy to see the bracelet now neatly wrapped around his wrist. "Thank you."
"Your lucky charm when I'm not around."
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, yourbff and 16,581 others
yourusername life lately😴
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user syntax error babe my brain stopped working when i saw u 
user i just can’t get enough of this hair omg
user me too! so gorgeous😭
yourbff red y/n is too legendary
comment liked by oscarpiastri
yourusername is this genuinely a compliment or a subtle jab?
yourbff lmaoo babe😭
oscarpiastri wish u were here
yourusername me too</3
user oh you are not with oscar rn :(
user man is so clingy what should i DO
user was it a chat with oscar?? bcoz YES SHE IS ON FIREEE
oscarpiastri
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liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 221,681 others
oscarpiastri A second reason to smile 😁🏆
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mclaren what a weekend!
user this man’s gonna be world champion one day🙌
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user i refuse to believe you’re a rookie man
yourusername me too
user y/n camping on oscar's comment section
yourusername my driver of the day!❤️
oscarpiastri ❤️
user what's with the red heart???
user is it the soft launch? OMGGG
yourusername also congrats to lando!! proud of both of you🔥👏
landonorris thankyou, y/n! btw come to the race, someone is missing you
user man is so wHIPPED
yourusername p.s hope oscar recovered well after lying on the floor
comment liked by oscarpiastri
yourusername added a story
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someone is smiling ear to ear @/oscarpiastri
yourbff lmaooo he looks so happy yourbff he's completely in love with you yourusername grateful is an understatement<3
landonorris his eyes speak love lol yourusername shut upp lando landonorris glad both of you finally opened up about your feelings yourusername thankyou 2 u❤️
user his emotions are written all over his face
oscarpiastri
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liked by yourusername, logansargent, landonorris and 540,188 others
oscarpiastri thanks for mistakenly grabbing my drink. Grateful for every twist of fate that brought you into my life🍻❤️
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user spill the tea we want to know more about the storyy!!
user my oscar and yn cutie<3
user hope for your happiness, oscar and y/n!❤️
landonorris how long did it take you, mate?
yourusername felt like forever
oscarpiastri you have no idea
yourusername but it was worth the wait
user awww y/n🥺
oscarpiastri ❤️
yourusername thankyou for never telling me you are oscar piastri the mclaren driver of formula 1😒
user NOOOO SHE MUST BE SO CLUELESS
logansargent he is the worst
oscarpiastri u know i didn't mean to keep it a secret, babe
user THEY ARE SO CUTEEEE
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, georgerussell63 and 85,128 others
yourusername love you always, Oz! May the four-leaf clovers always on us🍀❤️
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oscarpiastri love you too, always🍀❤️
comment liked by yourusername
thankyou for reading! don't hesitate to give me a feedback❤️
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wolfiesmoon · 5 months
Text
My princess
baji x fem!reader
another one for my baji girlies😘😘😘😘😘😘
do not be fooled by the title by the way this is not what it seems😈 @riabriyn one tag for uuuu
Also warning there's a few swear words!
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"So, where is he?" your friend asked, glancing at her watch. You had finally promised your friends that they'd get to meet your new boyfriend. They complain that he's all you've been talking about lately and you can't really blame them since that's the truth.
You're just really happy that you have a boyfriend like the rest of them, is all.
"He should arrive right about now." You smiled happily. You can't wait to see him already.
You heard the sound of a motorcycle in the distance and your smile widened, knowing he was about to arrive. Oh, you'll show him off so hard. All your friends are gonna be so jealous.
When he stopped in front of you and your friends, you ran up to him and hugged him before he could even step off the bike. "I missed you, babe!"
"You literally saw me yesterday." He sounded annoyed but he hugged you back.
You looked back at your friends as Baji got off the bike, eyebrow raising at their shocked expressions.
"That's... your boyfriend?" One of them asked cautiously. You nodded slowly.
"Girl, you should have told us your boyfriend is uhhh... a delinquent." Your friend picked her words carefully, too afraid to upset your mystery of a boyfriend.
"But I told you about him..." Baji was looking in between all of you, trying to understand your collective confusion.
"You told us that he's your little princess and that he brings you flowers and takes you to cat cafés. I think all of us collectively imagined something different."
"All these things still hold true, though. Can't he be a delinquent but also super sweet?" You shrugged. You didn't lie a single time when you said those things.
"You call me your what now?" Baji placed a hand on your shoulder, still in disbelief.
"I call you my little princess!" You smiled warmly at him, turning around and hugging him once more. Despite his shock, he hugged you back again.
"Why the fuck would you call me that? Couldn't you have picked something better?" Your friends just watched the two of you, not sure what to do.
You pouted. "But little princess fits you so well..."
"What exactly screams little princess about me to you?" He asked. Your friends asked the same question internally.
"You're so cute and sweet and you have the prettiest hair. All princess qualities."
Ok, now your friends just think you're delusional. And so does Baji, a little bit. Though he loves you regardless.
"Listen, can't you just call me something better?"
"Hmmmm... how about 'my little meow meow'?" You offered after thinking for a few seconds.
"I asked for something better." Baji sighed.
Normally it wasn't his thing to back off from anything really, but he had a feeling you would come up with something even more embarrasing if he kept pushing. You kind of remind him of his mom back when he was younger. She kept insisting to call him the most embarrasing nicknames, even in front of his friends.
Those nicknames are a secret he'll make Mikey take to the grave.
"Whatever, just call me your princess or something. I don't give a shit anymore." He huffed.
He watched your face light up and you thanked him excitedly, to which he just clicked his tongue in return.
Your friends noted that his cheeks are a little red. What an odd pair the two of you are.
.
.
𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅Bonus fic (You thought it was over? Think again😈😈😈)
"Aaah, you look so cute, I could just squish your cheeks!" Baji had to slap your hand away because you were actually going to do it.
He let you play with his hair since you kept asking to and now he has a baby pink bow tied into a ponytail on his head.
"Awww, you're no fun." You placed your hands back down, pouting playfully.
He happened to glance at the clock, realising that he was supposed to be having a first division meeting very soon. The way you played with his hair relaxed him so much that he lost track of time.
He shot upright, making you flinch slightly.
"Where are you going?" you asked, worried you upset him.
"Shit. I have a meeting." he hissed behind clenched teeth. Well, you suppose you can't blame him. Though you did want to play with his hair for way longer.
He quickly left, hopping onto his motorcycle and driving off to the meeting location. One thing he would never do is be late to his own meeting.
Luckily, he arrived a bit before everyone else did, with only Chifuyu waiting for him there. "Oh, Baji-san, I- What's that?" Chifuyu pointed at the pretty pink bow.
Oh, he completely forgot about that. Normally he would be embarrased because of something like this, but strangely, the bow you put in his hair filled him with a sense of pride. Like a sign that he's really yours.
Before Baji could explain the bow, everyone from the first division stopped in front of the meeting place on their bikes.
"Let's begin." Baji sat down on the edge of the fountain across from the other gang members.
All of the gang members gathered were visibly holding back laughter, some even let a few giggles slip.
This irked Baji to no end.
"You guys got a problem with my girlfriend's sense of style? Laugh at me, I fucking dare you." Everyone's expressions instantly straightened at Baji's scary face.
Chifuyu let out a little "ohhh..." since he figured out that you were the one who gave him that bow.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. So yesterday..." as he talked about the reason they're even having this meeting, he was filled with a sense of pride.
That pretty pink bow is proof that he has a beautiful girlfriend and he isn't afraid to show her off.
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atticrissfinch · 7 months
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Series: The Rogue Who Coaxed You | (joel miller x fem!reader) (18+)
Part 2: The Business Trip
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pairing: boss!joel miller x fem!secretary!reader summary: joel makes you arrange his business trip where he will be accompanied by his wife. you’re pouty about it, and joel reminds you of your place. warnings/tags:  [18+ MINORS DNI] mean!joel, very brief joel x ofc action, joel STILL respects you approximately 0% (maybe even less than that in this one jfc), age gap (no specifics), infidelity, hella power imbalance/dynamics, daddy!kink, also hella degradation and humiliation kink, semi-public sex, joel and reader suck at being quiet, unprotected PIV, creampie, use of slut, whore, etc extra disclaimer: we are going to be HEAVY on the infidelity in this series, folks. it’s basically its own character. it’s frequently referenced by the characters, very in-your-face, and will be used as a kink in this series. So if that bothers you, you may want to skip this one ❤️ word count: ~3K | ao3 a/n: there is humiliation kink in this one like WOAH so uhhh just be aware of that lmao joel is so fucking mean. But if you like that kind of thing……here u go lmao. Was too lazy for a moodboard on this one so maybe later lol Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Kofi
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The first email in your inbox when you come in this morning is from Joel. 
Subject: Business Trip 
We discussed this earlier, but I’m outlining my expectations below just so we are clear on them. 
First class. Not business class. Straight through flight if at all possible. 
Four or five-star accommodations only. Please ensure the room has a large jacuzzi and a balcony with a nice view on a higher floor. 
Book a couples massage and a couples spa treatment at the hotel for one of the evenings. Can split between evenings if absolutely necessary. 
Reservations for two for dinner each night—sophisticated places, please. I do not want to be stuck at Applebee’s on a Friday night. 
One of the nights should be Bertelli’s. If they give you any grief about times, drop my name. Marco has me on the VIP list. 
Don’t disappoint me, please. 
JM
It is a little insulting. Because you had gone over all of this. Yesterday, in fact. Where he watched you handwrite notes about everything he said. 
You shake it off and double-check your notes just to humor him. All perfect, as you’d expected. Even if your pen bled through the paper from pressing down too hard in a few particular spots. 
You do your level best to not let it get to you, him deciding to bring his little wife along with him to Los Angeles. Emphasizing the “couples” amenities. The jacuzzi. The balcony on a “higher floor”, knowing exactly what he planned on doing on it. It made your skin itch. 
He’d taken you with him once, right at the beginning of your affair, on a short two-day trip to Denver. He’d left you in the hotel for most of it. Made you order room service to the suite for all three meals and then fucked you before passing out for the night. 
There were no couples spa treatments. No dinners at Michelin-star restaurants. Just hotel burgers, an orgasm or two, and then a scolding at the end of it for over-ordering on room service. 
Joel, the very picture of extravagance, berating you for spending his “hard-earned cash” on “too much food” when you would otherwise starve. He’d fucked your throat until you cried in the back of his Escalade on the way home from the airport as punishment. He then kicked you out at the doors of the high rise where Miller Enterprises comprises two sprawling floors and told you to get an Uber home on your own dime. Said he’d spent enough money on you, and he wasn’t going to have Douglas waste more gas. 
All while you knew a Tiffany’s box was shoved into his carry-on. For her. 
But maybe things would be different now. Maybe you’ve earned enough of his trust, his favor, that he might treat you more luxuriously if you went away together. 
Around eleven, you gather your courage and knock on his door. He invites you in, and you shut the door behind you, locking the door and shutting the blinds for good measure. 
“Did something confuse you already?” His glasses are perched on his nose as he looks up at you from whatever document he’s examining. 
Your eyes drift to the floor and you scratch the back of your calf with the toe of your shoe. “No…” You mutter, leaning against the wall to the right of his desk. 
“Then why are you in here wasting my time?” He drawls, returning his focus to the page in front of him. 
You swallow your nerves, drawing yourself taller and steeling yourself before propositioning, “Take me instead.”
That reels his attention back in. He sets the paper down on his desk and drops his glasses unceremoniously on top of it with an amused expression. “Take you instead of who, sweetheart?”
“Instead of her.”
Joel leans back in his chair and folds his hands onto his stomach. “Instead of Claire, you mean? You’re asking me to take you on this business trip instead of my wife?”
“Yes.”
Joel barks out a laugh. “You’re a secretary. And a forgettable one at that. What could you possibly do to benefit me on a business trip? I don’t recall you being particularly helpful on the last one.”
A shred of embarrassment trickles through you as you assess his expression, mocking and unapologetic. Your fingers twiddle absentmindedly as you offer, “I could be naked in bed for you all day. Wet and waiting for you after every meeting.”
Joel sighs and beckons you toward him. You rush to his side and he takes your hand in his, patting the back of it placatingly. He looks up at you with what seems like pity in his eyes. “Baby, you aren’t worth even a fraction of the thread count of the sheets in the places I stay. You’re a…” Joel thinks for a moment, then continues, “You’re a motel hooker. If you set foot in a five-star hotel, they’d have to follow you around with a fuckin’ mop to clean the marble floors from the cocktail of sperm dripping outta you everywhere you go.”
Your bottom lip quivers, while your pussy sends a gentle, rolling pulse between your legs at his callous insult. 
“I mean, we didn’t even stay somewhere that nice last time and I still slipped the maids a couple hundred dollars extra just to refresh the room after we left. Who knows how many dicks you took in there while I was gone.”
You sniffle as you feel the threat of tears burning in your nose. “I didn’t…”
Joel’s brows draw together as he gives a gentle nod. “Ok, baby. I’m sure you didn’t,” He placates, clearly not convinced. “You wanna come sit on daddy’s cock? That make you stop whinin’?”
You scrunch your eyebrows and snatch your hand back from him, crossing your arms across your chest petulantly. You know you’re acting like a snot, but Joel is in rare form today, and it wouldn’t be fun if you didn’t push back. If you always immediately bit what he dangled in front of you. “No, I don’t.”
Joel just shrugs and settles back in his chair. “Okay then,” he says, raising his hands slightly and making a show of shooing you toward the door. “Get out and go do what I asked you to do.”
You stay put stubbornly, meeting his eyes with a glare. It takes approximately five seconds for you to second-guess yourself. “Ok, wait…”
Joel rolls his eyes, scooting his chair out a little further from his desk. “Make up your goddamn mind. You’re gonna go out there and do what I say regardless. So you can either do it with or without my come leaking into your panties. Take your pick. I don't got all day.” 
You grumble a little, and then mumble more audibly, “You know I’m gonna say yes.”
Joel gives you a slow nod. “Yes I do. And I gotta admit, it’s a little goddamn annoyin’ when you act all Sophie’s Choice about it, when we both know there’s barely a single thought behind those eyes that doesn’t revolve around my cock at any given moment.”
You feel your pussy throb again at his words and you inch closer toward him. “What the hell is Sophie’s Choice?”
Joel smirks up at you and holds a hand out for you to take. “Case in point. Now come remind me why I keep you around.”
You whimper and take his hand, allowing him to pull you up onto his chair until you’re straddling him with your skirt rucked up your hips, thankful that you decided to forego tights today. He works his cock out of his slacks, such a familiar and welcome sight to you at this point, and both your mouth and pussy flood at the same time. 
You slide your panties to the side as you hover over his cock, already hard from the way you’ve been taking the disparaging words he’s been dishing out. 
Joel snaps the crotch of your panties. “Don’t know why you fuckin’ bother with these anymore. You know you’re gonna take my cock more often than not,” Joel remarks, gliding a warm hand around the back of your thigh and gripping around it, using it to position you where you already have it ingrained in your brain to go.
You smirk to yourself as you stare up at the ceiling, feeling the tip of his cock teasing your entrance. “Didn’t think you would want me soiling your precious office chairs with the evidence of you cheating on that precious wife of—” Your words are cut off with a sharp gasp as Joel slams you down onto his cock in one thrust, burying himself all the way inside you until you are seated flush to his lap with your head thrown back and your mouth agape in alarmed pleasure. 
When you try to rise, his unyielding grip on your shoulder prevents your movement. Your head flops back down to meet his gaze, his lips parted slightly and his eyes looking down at you with an up-tilted head. You wiggle in his lap, but he continues to hold you steady. 
“Daddy–” You protest, but he cuts you off again. 
“You got a big fuckin’ mouth for a worthless cunt who can’t even suck or fuck her way to California with me.”
“Daddy, I—”
Joel’s face goes gravely serious, teetering on pissed off. He shoves two fingers into your mouth, pressing down on your tongue to shut you up. 
“Let me make somethin’ real clear to you. Cause I know you, and I know what rattles around in that goldfish fuckin’ brain ‘a yours.” Joel wets his lips and holds your jaw just this side painful, ignoring your wince as he continues, “If I find that you’ve sabotaged even a single element of this trip, I’ll have you scrubbin’ every toilet in this building and takin’ your piss breaks in the alley behind the dumpster. Understood?” He punctuates his words with a rough jolt of your head in his bruising grip, then slides his fingers from your mouth to allow you to answer. 
“Yes, daddy,” You whimper. 
“Good,” Joel states, dropping his hold on your face and placing both hands on your hips. “Now shut up and take this cock.”
You sigh in relief as he finally grants you the freedom to move, and you lift yourself up until the tip of his cock is stretching you open before dropping yourself down again and setting a brisk, deep pace. 
The two of you have never been super great at keeping quiet. You certainly try, but noises always escape you before you can catch them. You’re reasonably sure the entire office knows about the two of you, but no one is stupid enough to say anything about the CEO fucking his secretary under his wife’s nose. 
You breathe out a “Fuck daddy,” as his cock hits deep inside of you so fucking perfectly, like it always does. 
Joel growls as he bucks his hips into you as you drive down onto him. “Braindead fuckin’ whore. All you know is eat, sleep, and dick, ain’t it?”
You whine as your head falls onto his shoulder, your pussy clenching around him as the degradation fuels your desire. 
Joel grabs you by the hair when you don’t verbally respond. “Huh? Ain’t it?”
“Yes, daddy,” You squeak out.  
He tightens his grasp on your hair as he pushes in further, fucking up into you with what almost feels like disgust. “Ain’t that all you fuckin’ know? Ain’t it all you’re good for?”
“Yes, daddy!” You sob, always mortified by how hard his mistreatment gets you off as your cunt squeezes him and you feel your orgasm spiraling inside you. 
“Lucky your pussy’s so goddamn tight or you’d’ve been out on your ass a long fuckin’ time ago, huh?”
“Yes, daddy,” You moan again, your breath going shallower as the fatigue of riding him chases after you. You begin rolling your hips back and forth, using his cock to massage your g spot as he keeps rutting up into you. 
“People in this office probably think you’re a gold-digging little homewrecker, don’t they? But what they don’t know is you give it up so easy, I don’t even slip a measly dollar into your little thong when I’m done. Barely have a penny to your fuckin’ name and you’re still creamin’ on this cock for free. Nothin’ to goddamn show for it. No business trip, no diamonds, no fancy house. Just wide open legs, gettin’ run through like a McDonald’s drive-thru.” 
You moan into his neck as his rhythmic thrusts force your insides apart, opening around him every time without a moment’s hesitation. The humiliation has you shaking on his cock, tears slipping free down your cheeks as you bury your face in his neck. 
“And you can whine and complain about bein’ the other woman all you want, but I know you like this shit. You like bein’ my little dick ornament, nothin’ more. Don’t you, baby?” 
You whimper into his neck, but nod helplessly, clamping your pussy around him. Your hand finds your clit to push yourself over the edge, rocking your hips harder on his thick length as you gasp and moan into his skin. 
At your increased intensity, Joel starts to groan out his own release, holding you down into his lap as he unloads inside your pussy, your walls twitching around him. “Fuck yeah, baby. Take all that come. ’S the only gift you’ll ever get from me. Better cherish it.” 
Those words have heat and pleasure bursting from your core at last, spilling out through your limbs and leaving you breathless and boneless in his lap as you piece your brain back together to some semblance of cohesive thought. 
Joel melts back into his cushy chair, petting down your spread thighs and squeezing them periodically as he catches his breath. You wince as you lift off of him and tug your panties back into place to prevent any of Joel’s come from dripping where you don’t want it—which is anywhere but your panties to remind you where he’s been today. 
You wrangle Joel back into his pants for him and settle into his lap, sliding your hands to clasp around the back of his neck. Your thumb caresses his jawline softly as his lethargic stare studies you in his post-orgasmic haze. 
You release an exaggerated sigh, attempting to garner as much sympathy as you can as you beg, “Please don’t make me do all this.”
Joel offers you a half-smile. “I’m sorry? Don’t make you do your job? I mean, we have plenty of spare banker boxes. Feel free to clean out your desk whenever.”
You run your fingers through his dampened curls. “Then who would service you at work like I do?”
A small laugh bubbles out of him, and he reaches up to cup your face. “Oh, baby. That’s so cute.” He gravitates toward you, nuzzling his nose against yours and pressing a featherlight kiss to your pout. He breathes the rest of his reply over your lips, imbuing his tone with all the affection that his actual words lack. “You are effortlessly replaceable. I have no shortage of willing participants who would get on their knees and shut the fuck up far better than you do. Please don’t kid yourself.”
He says it as if he’s doing you a favor. Like he’s giving you genuine advice. It simultaneously feels like a fist around your stomach and a warm mouth on your clit. Like punishment and reward. Your eyelashes ghost the apples of your cheeks as you nod in understanding. 
“Yes, daddy. I’m sorry.”
You ignore the side-eyes from your coworkers as you mill back to your desk, smoothing your skirt as you take your seat. Wetness pools in your panties as you get comfortable, just like you’d anticipated. Ten minutes later, you get another email ping from Joel. 
Subject: Re: Business Trip
Please arrange transport to and lodging in Santa Barbara on Friday evening through Sunday night, straight from Los Angeles after dinner. Somewhere luxurious. Vineyard tour, wine tasting, the works. The Mrs deserves my full attention for a little longer. I’ve been gone too much lately. 
JM
You text him on the Thursday night of his trip, just a simple inquiry about how things are going. 
Your phone buzzes twenty minutes later with a text that just says, “Exquisite,” accompanied by a video attachment. 
A bubbly jacuzzi bathtub, Claire very evidently in between Joel’s legs and up to her shoulders in suds. Joel kisses wetly down her neck, his tongue visibly working in tandem with his lips as he heatedly stares down the camera he has extended in front of them. Claire hums in contentment, biting her lip with a moan until she spies the camera on her. She bursts into giggles, bringing a foamy hand up to shield her face.
“Baby! Turn it off!”
“What?! I’m just—”
The video cuts off in the middle of Joel’s laughter-infused response. 
And you know it’s fucked up. You know it’s so fucking wrong. But you bury your fingers inside yourself and hit play again. And again. And again. Until the humiliation burns its way through your abdomen and drips off your fingertips with your orgasm. 
You don’t text him again. 
When Joel walks into work the Monday after his trip, there’s a glow to his skin, to his face. He greets his staff with a broad smile and pats to shoulders and backs, looking very well-rested and energized in a way he normally wouldn’t. When he gets to you he taps twice on the side of your desk to get your attention and gestures with his head for you to follow him. You reach for your notepad, but he mutters, “Won’t need that,” with a telling look, and waltzes in the direction of his office without another word.
As you stand to scurry after him, you hear one of your coworkers quip to another under her breath, “Can’t leave daddy waiting, can she?”
Your cheeks burn at their quiet snickers. But they’re right. You don’t leave him waiting. That’s one thing you’re good for.
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