#i had to make my thoughts known for once

[swampbestie]

joels newest hermitcraft episode was great for many reasons but. the contrast between "cis straight white man mining content" and scar telling joel and etho to get a room.

#not to mention joel always saying ethos obsessed with him #and ethos response being 'someone needs to put up with you' like LMAO???? #theyre so funny #and both their builds look so fucking good so far #i am enjoying this season so much if you could tell #anyway #hermitcraft season 10 #smallishbeans #ethoslab #i had to make my thoughts known for once #boat boys #semi related im so surprised when anyone calls joel 'beans' #im like wdym......

[nejackdaw]

Nine Five people you'd like to know better

Tagged by @thana-topsy Hi lol 👋 wasn't expecting this (/lh)

[3 Ships]

1) Celann and Charlotte. (holding them in my hands) my babies. I love they

2) I'll honestly just put it out there, Chriscariot. That album rewired my brain. The absolute gay yearning. Did you guys know about the Gospel of Judas. I've been so normal on Tumblr. Not in real life. Not in the slightest. Bible fandom has some fun stuff

3) the Mo/Resa/Dustfinger/Roxanne polycule. I am correct.

[First Ship]

I actually think that's gonna have to be Zuko/Sokka. Except I was unaware of what shipping was at the time because I was young and offline. I did think they should go out tho.

[Last Song]

Funeral Derangements (Ice Nine Kills.) Honestly surprised it wasn't something off the Judas album

[Currently Reading]

Inkheart. Again. Yes I finished the series and turned right around and started it again. I did finish The man Born to be King last night tho. Haven't seen the original JCS but yeah. That Judas and 2012 Arena Tour Judas 🤝

[Last Film]

..... Highlander.... I caught a glimpse of it a while ago and there was this cunty old man. I immediately called Bread over and well. There was not as much of him in the film as we hoped. What did we watch (hello??? Plot??? Please???) That goth guy was having the time of his life tho honestly good for him. What a bizarre experience.

[Currently Craving]

The arrival of the books I ordered. I'm gonna be so real. I am so impatient for them to arrive. Even ignoring the fact that Mortimer (my darling little blue jay plush) is being shipped to God knows where (it's Rhode Island. I feel it in my bones that for some reason another package has been redirected to Rhode Island.) Other than that, uh... draw juice. Would like to draw thing

[Tags]

Gonna tag @argisthebulwark @fabeong @greeneyed-thestral @forpiratereasons and @snake-snack-stede my beloved mutuals 🌹 hi guys :)

#asks #as someone who also has a lil skyrim guy: love to see it #love seeing your art too the style is so nice #anyway uh #yall i am so unwell about judas. can you tell #fucking deranged #i am once again saying if any of you like gothic metal that you should listen to the lord of the lost judas album #like im probably about to while i wait for my books #and MORTIMER #who i SWEAR has GOT to be headed to RHODE ISLAND #if i had two nickels etc etc #theres not much inkheart merch so YES i bought a blue jau plush and named him mo #genius move #the unfortunate curse of liking obscure 2000s book series #(head in my hands) yall i still need to make my celann thoughts coherent so i can share them its kinda killing me #forgot to add #tag game #okay ive stared at this long enough. forget the mortifying ordeal of being known. fuck it we post

[machidielontheway]

me : "[...] to do that one needs to have a good level of internet literacy : how to navigate a computer, knowing how to make a good search, etc"

my mom : "i think it goes further than that, it's on another level, because making a search is easy, you can just input two words, but knowing how to find the right words to get the results you need and not just vague results is quite hard and [...]

me, baring my teeth as no one can see my face in the phone call, keeping my tone even : "yes mom that's what a good search means. so what you said IS included in internet literacy, as i said."

#3615 my life #i never know how to explain this #but it's fucking irritating #like what else did you think i mean by 'savoir faire une bonne recherche' ??? #like i know she has a Thing about being able to speak and be listened to #but she could do with some listening of other herself !! #my patience is extremely thin when i have to listen to someone say something I LITERALLY JUST SAID like it's something else #or like something they thought of themselves. like no bro i just said it you just didn't listen or didn't try to understand #may it happens that sometimes i'm the one who hasn't explained well or fully ? yes ! but after 30 years of this sorry if i'm irritable #i dislike monologues by people who think they're having a conversation when all they want is To Be Right #my mother has qualities and good traits !! #but sadly i can't go past this one cause you can't avoid it #my mother who once said 'it hurts me when people are not making the Right choice / action / decision #i'm annoyed that we see each other this weekend cause it cut my 'last' two weeks in vacation in half #which means that this one is gonna be spent thinking about this weekend dreading and hoping it goes by fast #and the other one will be 'the last one' :/ #i am not known for my capacity of letting go. i wish i had more of it.

[hella1975]

for the first time EVER i have spent actual Big Bucks on jewellery and im so so excited about it. another bisexual win!

#like in the grand scheme of jewellery it is NOT big bucks at all #but for fucking agesssss now ive been moaning bc i like wearing rings AND i have several piercings #but i dont have ANY nice jewellery so im in perpetual green stains and just once i wanted to have actual nice jewellery #that i could wear again and again without feeling grubby #like does anyone else get hyperaware of the TEXTURE of cheap rings? i do it's like i can FEEL the metal getting into my skin #like i get super paranoid and start picturing it getting into my blood and poisoning me... haha... #it's v uncomfortable and i will avoid wearing jewellery altogether as a result despite how much i love wearing jewellery #BUT NO MORE!!! #i bought two rings that were £8 EACH one of which is from a really good brand that's known in the city for being affordable but good qualit #and that one is SUPER chunky and cool but also has the same rock in it that my grandad's ring had #and i have v complicated thoughts about my grandad but i ALWAYS loved his ring and it's weirdly comforting #but like i said. complicated. but in a nice way for once? #and i bought a single set of earrings for £10 which is. so silly to me #like tbf it's SIX earings for a tenner so it's still decent (again the good brand ones so no green ears for me!) #but i have thirds and will wear them as a single set so in my head it works out as £10 for one pair of earrings #if that makes ANY sense #but yeah! my hope is to just gradually build up my Good Quality rings until i have a collection of ones that i can wear daily #and still be comfortable AND hot #and im very much intending to keep this one earring set in for weeks like we're 4lifers now #okay so maybe this was a comfort thing but also a laziness thing lmao im just sick of constantly changing earrings #BUT YEAH!!! £26 ON JEWELLERY IN ONE DAY!!! EVERYONE CLAP THIS IS BIG FOR ME!!! #hella goes to uni

[skrunksthatwunk]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 龍が如く | Ryuu ga Gotoku | Yakuza (Video Games) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Majima Goro & Sagawa Tsukasa Characters: Majima Goro, Sagawa Tsukasa Additional Tags: Genderfluid Majima Goro, Mentioned Saejima Taiga, he's not here though, majima gets dress coded (devastating), Solitary Confinement, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, yeah this one's not pretty sorry guys, Homophobia, Mental Breakdown, thinking about sagawa's sparrow thinking about sagawa's sparrow thinking about sagawa's sparrow th, featuring an oc: majima's shitty unnamed landlord, Abuse, look i don't know how to classify it in particular but it's. Not Good. You Know How It Is With Them, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, in a very traditional sense like. the warnings are no joke, Hurt/Comfort, In The Worst Way Possible, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, ooh yeah forgot those tags exist. need those for sure, THE PLOT CAN ALSO BE DESCRIBED AS FIVE NIGHTS AT MAJIMA'S PLUS BONUS NIGHTS, also majima accidentally almost gives himself a gay earring situation, which. in hindsight is not explained well, basically around that time gay men used to wear an earring on their right ear, to signal that they were gay. majima's is on his left he's just scared, and sagawa is either messing with him or an old fart who doesn't know hip gay things, take your pick, Relationship Study, Canon-Typical Violence

Summary:

"Woaahh, hold up there, Tiger. What's going on here?" Sagawa said. "What?" Sagawa reached for his face. Majima tensed up as Sagawa's hand brushed the taut cord of his eyepatch. He couldn't tell what he was doing until his hot, sweaty fingers pinched his earlobe. "You pierce this yourself?" "Yeah." "God, it looks awful."

or, in short, majima gets dress coded and sent to gay baby jail

HEY I UH. I MADE A FIC IF YOU GUYS WANNA READ IT. NO PRESSURE OBVIOUSLY

#I MEAN YKNOW. IF YOU WANNA #anyway this has made me think about majima getting a job at claire's #me: oh i'll make fic someday because i love to write and also i love gay people. it'll probably be mushy romantic stuff though #I SHOULDA KNOWN. CHARACTER STUDY ASS (vine boom sfx) #anyway majima gets grounded for stepping out of line and doesn't fucking take it well for obvious reasons #featuring Thoughts about sagawa. i hate that guy but he's soooo interesting. fuck's sake #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #majima goro #sagawa tsukasa #tsukasa sagawa #listen i'm tagging him twice and majima only once because i know you sagawa fans will take anything alright. no one makes content for him #why'd i phrase that so mean. sorry lol #yakuza 0 #god if people hate this or hate me for it or whatever i'll actually combust. i'm nervous #it'll probably do mediocrely and just become part of the soup of my content and that's okay. i just need to get over it because i've never #posted my writing online before. i've had it published in like. my high school litmag. but never online and NOT fan works so like. hoo scary #anyway if you like the way i write stuff here then maybe you'll like this. especially if you like my darker and/or more analytical content #which is less common than my goofs and gaffs but i still like it

[goldensunset]

as an underclassman early morning classes and boring classes were what i detested and feared most of all. now it’s difficult classes and evening classes. my evening class last semester actively made me want to become the joker with how disruptive it was to my schedule. i sure would have never wanted to switch into a 9am yawnnnn history lecture class but at this point that sounds like a dream compared to all the tons of active work outside of class with every single professor trying to scare us to death on the first day. i would rather wake up early every day than suffer the hell that i’m currently slated for. last semester brutalized me so badly it’s not even funny i can’t do the same workload again yet worse i need a relative mental break. i do not have that dog in me. i will be going to my advisor screaming and crying tomorrow asking her to make some changes

#like i will take almost anything i can get into at this point #if it fits into my schedule contributes to my actual credit requirements and does not actively make me upset #sounds perfect #and like i am a night owl. it is known i am a night owl #but i can suffer the pain of waking up early for the greater good #i cannot suffer the pain of multiple classes at once in which the professor acts like we don’t have other work to do #like genuinely the workload hasn’t even started yet this semester we’ve had one day of each class so far #and i am like already in absolute dread and depression. just from how they’re making me feel right off the bat #i need out #i need to fix this i thought it would be ok back in november but i don’t know if the pain of last semester really sunk in until afterwards #during winter break i was like oh yay break :] #now that i’m back at school i’m like Huh. so there’s something i never actually recovered from i guess #like now that i’m here i’m like you’re telling me .. i have to do it again. even worse. #and like i was off for 3.5 weeks. but now i understand no amount of time would have ever been enough to prepare me for this #i don’t care if it means i have more work later i’m ahead on credits #this course i wanna drop isn’t strictly required anyway so like. #why kill myself. especially now of all times #sounds like a problem for a future me who isn’t having a mental episode #peach rambles

[robinsnest2111]

augh the absolute need to be held and pet and showered with love and gentle praise is so STRONG tonight 😭

#just 3 hours ago i thought about how far i've come with being able to accept praise about me and my work etc. #just a couple years ago i physically recoiled and felt some dreadful emotion whenever someone praised me #because it felt so foreign and wrong. like i was deceiving them. because nothing about me could ever be worthy of praise!!!! #but just a couple days ago my nervous energy manager who's very quick to reprimand praised some of my qualities #and it didn't make me physically cringe/recoil like it would have in the past #and idk. just. thinking.about the possibility of letting myself be praised. recognising there are qualities about me being worthy of it #what a mindfuck. and now i'm thinking about it. #some praise. some tenderness. some softness. for me. i'm allowed to have that. it's okay for me to want that #the pain of not really getting it regularly. no hugs no cuddles no kissies no 'well done's.......... augh #i've not known softness for years and once I've had a glimpse and allowed myself to enjoy it... now the CRAVING is torturing me #because i don't get this anymore. the situation i live in doesn't allow for any of it in necessary amounts #i'm so starved for affection and positive attention it's sickening. idk how i've survived for this long honestly #holding out for a brighter future surrounded by more open kindness and softness and affection...

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

bestie is coming home on 1st im having thoughts

#obviously i missed her and would love to see her but seeing her brings so many complicated feelings and i hate it #i realised somewhere in the middle of a metro surrounded by a crowd that my bestfriend loves her boyfriend more than she loves me #i saw them flirt and hug and ive known her since we were 11 okay i had never seen her be so happy and calm and peaceful and CONTENT #and it made me feel yuck disgusting gross that i could never give her anything like this in years of our friendship so ofc she loves him #more than me #i used to be annoyed at her telling me about him what he did down to evey detail but there's one i can remember really well #how she was upset with him and he got angry too very angry so she thought he was breaking up with her and she started sobbing so #uncontrollably on the phone itself because she couldn't lose him and so he at like 11 pm?? he left his pg and showed up at her house told #her to come down just to give her a hug and then they went to have ice cream to make her feel better #and i just. #obviously she loves him more ivy you don't even talk to her unless she talks to you you talk once in like 2 months #she has made me realise so many things about love 😭 #i think i get it love means showing up being there when the person you love needs you no matter what #like i get it's not always possible real life problems but #like he did have real life problems going out so late getting an auto not even being sure if she would come down cause she has very strict #parents #he was willing to put in all that effort just cause she was sad and that's why she loves him more than me it makes sense #but this is why i feel so scared im not even 2% of the person he is i always feel she is going to realise im an asshole and leave me #but we talk so less it wouldn't even affect me realistically #but then i would have lost all my childhood friends everyone who knew me when i was happy better than present atleast #i would have lost all friends period since i don't have any irl friends 😭 #this is why i feel conflicted 😭😭😭

[itspileofgoodthings]

it’s been exactly one year of me making @thelonelybrilliance scream laugh

#My FAVORITE #not that I never made her laugh before but when we met in person it was just different #unlocked a part of me I didn’t know how to share #the thing about me and Emma is that I’ve known her for 7 years and we’ve been friends for 6 #But we were very restrained and almost formal for those first 5 years. and I never really talked about myself because what was there to say #and also I just loved listening to Emma’s stories and being one of her friends #but then we met and it was like all that restraint and formality (which I love) melted and we were best friends #who make each other scream laugh #and I LOVED our more formal days where we talked about serious things about once a week and just kept in touch and supported each other #through the various stages of our lives #but it was so deeply surprising and healing to me to suddenly realize that all the pieces were in place for me to just be really honest #and really vulnerable and really funny (turns out) all at once #anyway I mostly try to keep my thoughts on this in Emma’s inbox and dm’s bc that’s where they belong #and I know it’s kind of strange to be speaking on it publicly #for me and other people. But I wanted to reflect a little bit here #Because the New York trip was a year ago and I can’t talk about what it really meant to many people #anyway like I loved Emma so much before I met her and we had so many great and fun fandom conversations #but there absolutely was reserve and restraint and just this context. Until suddenly we didn’t need it anymore! #I am (it turns out) the most slow burn person of all time!

[ghavialis]

I love you poems that need buckets of context I love you art as a genuine expression I love you art that comes with an explanation I love you imperfect lovers felix gonzález-torres I love you songs that aren't made to be famous I love you stories with no moral I love you amateurs I love you first drafts that never get finished because it was about the idea and not the quality I love you pouring yourself into something even as you know it won't be understood I love you genius lyric interviews

#once after a lot of block I posted a poem onto a poetry feedback forum and somebody misinterpreted my reference to the stained glass by a #well known artist in my local church (that was to me. an obvious one. but made no sense to anyone else) as me talking about growing up with #television and social media and it changed the whole tone of the poem. and for a while after that I stopped writing poetry altogether #and I'd read my poems aloud and pretend I was in first year English class studying them and trying to see what I would make of it #and then I read about adrienne rich and how she regretted the diamond cutters #and I wrote a poem about that about poetry that comes out wrong #and the thought that she would hate leaving cert english the way the poems she didn't want published were dissected so neatly #I love you kiss from a rose by seal #and then the other day another one about the nightmare I had the night before my house burned down and the relief I felt that the scene of #the nightmare was gone and the guilt because I was happy about a fire and the secret moment when I went back into the kitchen and ate a #lindt lindor and how the inside was still melted #and that's not even half of the explanation because what about how the nightmare was about how my sister hurt me and how she's the one who #set the fire and how I wasn't relieved she got out and how food is a currency in my house and how eating was always something secret and #shameful and how it was the night before Valentine's Day and I was worried I'd have to cancel on my girlfriend and how I think I wouldn't #have survived if the house hadn't burned down because I couldn't be in the kitchen without reliving the nightmare #how do I fit that in a poem #I love doing really long tags it's awful

[mars-ipan]

i’m having a moment of boiling rage over the way my obvious neurodivergence has been handled by my doctors and attempted therapists

#marzivents #thought one vent post was enough. it is not i am angry #like. ok i’ve known i had /something/ for as long as i can remember #i remember talking with my mom as a kid about whether i should go to therapy #(i for some reason thought it was a thing for older people? idk why) #my main suspect has changed over the years. from social anxiety to gad to depression to adhd to maybe autism? #but that’s not the important part #the important part is that it’s something. and i’ve literally always known this #but every time i try to bring it up. oh you’re fine. oh you’re okay #even my favorite therapist dodged it! she did however acknowledge that yes i was exhibiting Real Symptom but she avoided drawing conclusions #which. honestly fine she can’t technically diagnose me #but it is so frustrating #especially when i compare it to my brother’s experience #my brother was diagnosed with autism at 2. 2!!! #he’s faced a fair bit of ableism from classmates and teachers and i am not going to glorify that #but he’s also always had access to accommodations and he doesn’t need to justify needing anything #i mean it’s to the point where he feels babied. he wants to have his autonomy respected #once again. i’m not glorifying ableism. it genuinely sucks that he’s going through that/has gone through that #but god at least he has a word to call it! he never had to question why some things were hard for him and others were incredibly easy #he never had to question whether he was making all of it up #he never needed a reason to need help. if he needed it that was it. there were no extra questions #i never got that. and i’m not envious of him. but i am a little angry at the fact that i never got that #i doubt myself all the damn time. i hesitate to say that i’m probably not nt #if i’m struggling suddenly it becomes ‘what happened’ and not ‘what’s bothering you’ #instead of ‘we’ll work on it’s i got ‘try to fix it’s #i’m so sick of constantly having to justify it. feeling the need to apologize every time i ask for help #it’s maddening. it drives me crazy #god. i gotta get that fucking diagnosis i’m gonna die at 30 from sheer frustration #i know this about me. i know it. will people please fucking listen #sigh. curse of being afab

[arienai]

One of my favorite yuri related things is actually this Japanese article I found once that was like. Directed at younger himejoshi. So I put it through google translate because I was curious and it had a bunch of tips like "if you have a friend who is also a yuri fan... maybe you can go see a movie about girls together! But REMEMBER. Be sure to let her know in advance if you want to be 😳 more than friends 😳" and I genuinely thought it was so funny and cute that it was like "WARNING: we know manga likes to string things along but you cannot do that in real life you need to make your intentions known" LMAO

#my posts #yuri