#i have leveled up in skill SO HARD

[unacctmango]

Have a lil hylian sidon wip as a treat <3

#sidon #prince sidon #totk #loz #tears of the kingdom #link #sidlink #hylian sidon #hylian #art #wip #this is such a major improvement from my design like 5 years ago #i have leveled up in skill SO HARD

[tibli]

people really act like johndirk murdered their entire family or smth

#homestuck #john egbert #dirk strider #johndirk #dirkjohn #obvs its fine if you dont like it personally #but the amount of VITRIOL i've seen for a ship that is basically harmless is soooooo fucking funny #like oh you're mad? you're mad that the windy boy and the weeaboo boy are holding hands?? that they're kissing??? #that they're having the most homoerotically-charged prank wars known to man??? skill issue tbh #also meat!john needs to come back from the dead and make out sloppy style w ult!dirk. and then kick his ass for being a shithead #tbh tho i prefer like. mostly ignoring hs2 as a whole and choosing to think abt post canon just being like #everyone on earth c finally dealing with all their various emotional issues #and i think dirk and john could actually work rlly well together once their got past their own bullshit #john has a hard time like. understanding people's feelings on anything deeper than surface-level and tends to avoid uncomfortable situation #whereas dirk feels things so strongly and deeply but has problems expressing it in healthy/acceptable ways #john is 'free' to the point that he has unintentionally cut ties w his friends #while trying to deal with the trauma of losing his dad #whereas dirk is grounded but obsessed with keeping everything under control. because control makes things safe #and he had very little safety growing up under the condesce #ok im rambling on what was meant to be a funny post so i'll cut it off there

[puppyeared]

#UAUHGG im havung oc thoughts. plaguing myBRAIN. i can feel my heartrate spiking holy shit #ok so. i rly wanna touch up presto and shuffles story without scaring myself out of it by overthinking it. esp the implications of #them having animal features and what they would eat. as well as worldbuilding character dynamics setting background characters ugghh. #constantly have to tell myself its just for fun. basically theyre rival magicians who keep their identities secret and fuck it up in #the funniest way possible LMAO. they rent the same apartment and the landlady accidentally gives it to both of them without them knowing #so they end up walking in on each other out of costume and have this weird tension around not revealing each others identities despite thei #borderline malicious rivalry. blackmail may or may not be involved i havent decided yet #they DO consider backing out of tenancy but they decide not to so they can make sure they dont reveal each others identities #thats the idea but its really abstract bc i dont have a direction or writing in mind. they just rattle in my head like spare change #other stuff i have rn is. they both consider each other a copycat and they have the same skill level of magic #but they have different styles and techniques theyre just too focused on outperforming each other to notice #presto likes to make people laugh so they probably include gags and impossible feats. shuffle is more elegant and focuses on #smooth movements and dangerous stunts. i want to make that reflect in their costumes but its hard bc stage magician costumes tend to stick #to suits and capes.. so idk. then maybe side characters like the landlady and other tenants but i havent given em much thought orz #i really should practice with concepts because i have a bad habit of making everything similar to the first try so its frustrating #and i suck at writing characters. but im doing this for fun so im trying not to get hung up on whether its generic or not #yapping #stares at the floor. maybe i should make a carrd for my ocs #oc talk #presto #shuffle

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought. #i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper #thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times #like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks. #nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she #was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled #a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where #you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder? #but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what #then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student. #everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have #and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my #leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but #i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying #my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound #by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting #better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that #and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path. #one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do #what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it. #maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for. #unrelated

[coquelicoq]

i've gotten so used to my daily practice of reading french aloud that now when i have to read something boring in english for work i default to reading it aloud. which takes way longer and also i feel like i retain even less information than i would otherwise, somehow. the upside is that my oral reading cadence in english, even of dense scientific articles, is rather excellent nowadays. i could read scientific articles out loud for a living, if that was a thing people needed me to do. which they do not, because screenreaders are a thing. maybe i could read crusty PDFs out loud for a living? but anyway all this is to say shoutout to my man alexandre dumas and also my other man victor hugo for training me to read run-on sentences in my second language. after that, dry journal articles in my first language are easy peasy.

#this practice is giving me some insights that are relevant to my actual job though #i mean we already knew this but. try reading your sentences out loud. can someone understand them without seeing them? #if not...your sentence may be too complex and may need to be broken up into multiple sentences. #my clients have to write complicated shit in a readable manner and one of my coworkers had this whole #initiative for a while just trying to get them to write shorter sentences. but they completely ignored him lol #reading out loud also helps you catch typos. i caught so many in this published journal article just now (embarrassing for them) #i probably would have caught most of them if i had read it silently but you never know #it's really interesting to me that i think this skill of parsing syntax on the fly to modulate sentence-level prosody in french #seems to transfer to english. i mean that i've been practicing reading french aloud and it seems to have made me better at #reading english aloud too even though french and english have different syntax and punctuation conventions. #so that's convenient #french #syntax #prosody #my posts #i cannot believe i STARTED this daily practice with the count of fucking monte-cristo. way to start on hard mode. jesus #and then followed it up with les misérables of all things. am i a masochist?? #don't answer that.

[apricote]

why does fame decay SO FAST like bro you don't do anything fame related for ONE DAY and you're already a nobody

#this is HARD!!!!!!! #i'm trying to get fen to be famous by doing little things before his gen begins and whenever he gets close to becoming a one star celebrity #next day he's lost all that progress #i know you can get it up fast by painting and selling them but it's not just his thing #or doing music but that's also not his thing #or writing books but it's just no jis thing #his thing is cooking and looking cute!!!!!! #he likes fitness and wellness #but you don't get famous doing that lol #can you get famous leading yoga classes???? maybe he will start giving them bc he's already level 6 i think #he gains skills so FAST bc the top notch toddler/infant trait is incredibly op #he's already mastered his cooking skill lmao #which is a bit boring i shouldn't have made him cook as a teen #but i haven't made him cook that much tbh??? #sammy does the cooking in the house #fenbjust helps occasionally #ANYWAY getting sidetracked #i wonder if there's a mod that slows down the fame decaying or if you can do it with mcc #because it's ridiculous #💬

[micamicster]

I find the sibling dynamics in the untamed genuinely fascinating because like jiang cheng has all the flaws of a youngest sibling but he ALSO has to fulfill the roles and responsibilities of an oldest sibling (his family’s heir and leader of his clan) which results in a man who sucks so bad and fails so much 🥰 i love him

#he’s SUCH a good dude and he’s trying SO hard and he’s just set up to fail on every level #like youngest siblings have no conflict resolution skills because it’s their older siblings role to be the bigger person and fix things #but his literal societal role is suddenly conflict resolver #(my little sister has great conflict resolution skills because i raised her right! but she did not use them until college lol) #they have no gravitas or authority his whole demeanor is perpetually 5 years old yelling ‘wait for meeee!’ #as he runs after people #but now he has to get all these adults to listen to him and respect him #it’s his job to provide for and protect everyone in his family and clan #but his closest family members still think he’s 13 and stupid and it would never even occur to them to ask him for help #how are you supposed to be taken seriously when the guy standing next to you is 2 seconds from giving you a noogie at all times! #also like… it sounds insane but there’s no way he thought that trying to kill wwx would mean wwx would be dead. not at all #youngest kids grow up kinda thinking their older siblings can take anything they can dish out? #like I know that jiang cheng could stab wwx through the heart and still expect him to stand up and make fun of him for being bad at stabbing #it’s dumb but it’s true! #sorry i haven’t even finished the drama but i see him. i see the truth #the untamed #thank u

[anxiously-awaiting]

whatever weird depressive state ive been in is CANCELLED the halloween event with bedi in it has started and i can indulge in my favorite past time: making the numbers go up

#i enjoy making him hit stupid fucking hard with his np <3 #and i've ALMOST got him to 104 and i THINK i have enough servant coins to unlock him to 106 #n i have all my summon tickets from the start of the month form the shop so im gonna do some pulls on the uhh #banner that he's in later on just to be safe <3 #i didnt realize servant coins were like. important for leveling. so i accidentally spent some on his append skill ages agowoopsies #but anyway numbers going up <333 and the new mystic code to draw laz in <333

[bitchfitch]

i just got done with my third chiro appointment, and like. I've noticed a significant improvement in terms of how much pain I'm in but I'm also noticing i can't like. stay sitting up. I can sit, which isn't always the case, but the muscles in my back are so loosey goosey/ not responding/ spasming that I keep curling forward until my head is almost pressed to the bed in front of me while I'm sitting cross legged. Don't know what that's about but it's affecting productivity something awful.

#like #i have shockingly good muscle tone considering how little i can move so this isnt a strength issue. #Ish. Like. the thing with eds is that if you have it severe enough your muscles have to pick up the slack for your ligaments #which results in you building way more muscle than you would expect #I cant lift more than 25lbs in like a bag or something without dislocating my elbows/shoulders #but i can bench 180~ and barbell squat my own weight #its just a matter of not pulling on anything #Tbh i think this is just the level of Nonsense that happens when my muscles arnt constantly tense. #my ligament structure isnt sturdy enough to work without that extra reinforcement #Anyways ive needed a back brace since i was 12 but insurance wont pay for it and like fuck am i able to shell out the 20k myself. #Ive looked into corsets but my proportions are so weird that id need a custom pattern #which is Pricey to get from a reputable company. like 2-3k which is better than 20. but still out of reach. #Im not confident enough in my drafting ability to make one myself. #seeing ms.banner. a real and skilled seamstress who knows what shes doing. lay herself out with a bad corset pattern is kinda #a good sign that maybe i an idiot whos sewing experience is stuffed animals and quilts. should not fuck around with my spinal health #I think id be more comfortable doing it myself if there were more mens corset patterns and more examples of how non #lingerie mens corsets are like. meant to work #i dont exactly need bust support. and most women's corsets dont have the shoulder support mens do. and thats like. #the area im most scared about fucking up bc its already a nightmare #tbh when i get the sg shop open im putting all the profits into a savings account and just working hard to get the budget to pay #for a proper corset.

[taffingspy]

Nabor has that kind of office that's "cosy" aka you keep bumping your hips on the furniture corners

#spy's talky things #Spy's wips #my partner advised me some time ago to at least bring up updates to project friends here so #script done 3d environments are getting there #most environments aren't getting this level of care to them it's just his office is Important and i can use this for other stuff later #i have a list of characters to do quick designs for #idk man this past year or two ive learnt im a chronic planner #like i actually can't do good stuff unless i plan hard #but planning is also a hard thing to do cri #also the topology on these pieces of furniture are bad but im proud of myself for getting them done as fast as i have! #3d skills are getting Better #wip project: friends

[daisychainsandbowties]

no but actually speaking of lilith being just absolutely unaware of her gaming skills, i’m obsessed with the idea of Cam sitting Lilith down at her computer with idk bloodborne or smth

Lilith: 😐 so you just want to watch?

Cam: *trying not to have a whole entire brain haemorrhage over that phrasing*

Cam: 😳 yep, pretty much

#and then the obligatory ‘cam watching lilith’s hands on the keyboard instead of the screen’ #no but fr i think lilith would be great at video games #she has that necessary temperment of aggressive but intelligent #also the exercises she did as a kid to try make herself better at writing #basically trying to level-grind out of dysgraphia #ends up the perfect soulsborne machine #also lilith realising this or having it pointed out to her #& proposing gaming nights with ava because post-canon the halo doesn’t fill in the fine-motor skills like it used to #so ava has to re-learn the hand movements for bartending & writing gets hard (where before it was just not knowing how now it’s also that #but mechanically) #so lil figures it might not help but it couldn’t hurt #researching the best gamea for hand movement & getting the synapses to fire in the helpful ways #i’m gonna tag this #fic: ligaments #so i can find it again

[anothermonikan]

Tired of oldest child syndrome, tired of being known as the experiment child, this sucks

#The way my parents expect me to know how to do everything without being taught l. #The way my slightly younger sister tells me it's not that hard because she wasn't as heavily sheltered and monitored as me #And thus has more life skills than me #You're allowed out till 10PM and Mother would pick you up. I was shouted at for not being home by 6 #I wasn't allowed to cook for myself until 2 years ago. It feels like you've been able to forever #I was never taken seriously by my parents so I never ask or tell them anything. You rant at them 5 times a day and they care #We should not be expected to have the exact same level of skills and competency yet we are. #Younger and only children can interact but don't be annoying about it #'But aren't you glad your parents are parenting better now??' of course I am. That doesn't invalidate how I feel #Also IK my parents aren't and never were bad or the worst. Like. They were fine. But I was raised differently from my younger sister #And I feel as though my skill development is stunted compared to other people my age and younger partly because of it #It's also partly because I focused too much on being 'The Good Kid' and thus never challenged what my parents wanted of me #While my younger sisters definitely do lmao #DK where this one came from but here lmao #Ventish I guess #Vent #Older sibling #Android.txt

[mcalhenwrites]

Seriously, I wish I knew what I was doing wrong with my writing, tho, bc if I want to be a career author, why can't I get anyone to engage with what I share for free? Isn't that a sign of being EXTEMELY BAD AT THIS?! (And yeah, lots of my followers aren't active, some might be bots that slipped through, and people miss things on their dashes, but most of the time, I get notifs for reblogging other people's writing from the couple of hundred who must still be active out of nearly 1k. Whatever I post? Not wanted.) And please don't "write for yourself" at me if you see this, bc I've been writing for over 30 years and couldn't name anyone else I am doing it for. Even with gift fics, I don't write anything I don't want to. Edit: Also like... it's hard to express these feelings and not go, "ugh, shut up shut up" to myself, but... I can't really keep going on like this (with the nonstop only-ever-experience-failure* part), I just can't. *Some people never do anything but fail, we try and try and try and maybe maybe maybe it'd help to be believed that when we can't swim on our own, we drown Another edit: I just... I want to be good enough, and I want to be happy, and I want time and spoons to write, and I want to stop waking up scared bc things keep getting worse and I can't save myself.

#I want to give up and never do and that's great for the handful of people who still want something to do with whatever the fuck it is I do #I thought about a year ago I was finally at the level of skill to maybe try to share again #but the truth is... I'm not sure I'll ever be good enough #if you have a hard time and struggle for this long how can you NOT question yourself????? #heck even stuff I reblog doesn't get much traction through me... like I'm some kind of taint on other writers #but even then the biggest taint is what I make and I might as well give up only I NEVER DO LIKE THE IDIOT I AM #and yeah my saying this isn't going to change anything #getting better doesn't change anything having confidence doesn't even change anything #I actually found out people are more hostile when you suddenly have confidence when they prefer when you didn't... #I'm trying not to lock all my writing up again but the urge to delete it or private it is so strong again #I don't think my writing is all that bad and some people see something in it but I need support and boosting or I'm just gonna wither #and at this point I'm going to die with my stories covered in dust and that feels like the only thing I deserve #and hell enough people openly agree with that sentiment that it's about all I know

[astranauticus]

i have an exam tomorrow but i know my brain won't know rest until i post this. anyway i just looked up the lyrics to 超度我/set me free by floruitshow and i just. have to inflict this song onto other people it is so robits

(real quick one thing i will say is please listen to the song, i once described floruitshow as 'the perfect combination of classically trained and a little bit insane' and this song is 100% that vibe. like i cant promise you'll like it but i can promise that it probably won't sound like anything else you've heard before)

Also I'll only be translating the verses because the chorus is literally lines straight from the Diamond Sutra and explaining those is above my paygrade

(Verse 1)

来不及 There's no time left 最后一句想你来不及让你知道 No time left to say to you my last 'I miss you' 再也回不去 We can't ever return 那个有彩虹出现的下午 to that afternoon when the rainbow appeared 再也感受不到你温度 I won't ever feel your warmth again 如果你留我在梦里 If you left me in my dreams 我会放弃呼吸 I can give up my breath 请 超度我 Please, set me free

VR-LA during/after MR-SN's death?? reflecting on all the things he never got to say, all the things they never got to do because they never got enough time together, 'i can give up my breath' all that time VR-LA spent alone on that empty ship fighting the thoughts of leaving it all behind.. (yells)

(Verse 2)

对不起 I'm sorry 不经意就在你的影子里活下去 It's so easy to live on in your shadow 我不在意 But I don't mind 不过是白日梦里一瞬息 It's nothing but a moment in a daydream 为何还起念动心 Why does my heart still stir? 怪你名字太熟悉 It's all because your name is too familiar 当我是一花一叶一春木 if I pretend I were a flower, a leaf, a spring sapling 可否回到世界之初 Can I return to the beginning of it all? 请 超度我 Please, set me free

Y'all wanna talk about how VR-LA's still not over MR-SN. or how he spends s2-s3 haunted by his old crew ('live on in your shadow' owwww). 'a moment in a daydream' VR-LA seeing MR-SN in overclock... being stuck in the horrible horrible headspace of the Zuggtemoy curse and finding comfort in this snippet of the captain he can barely remember.. 'your name is too familiar' i mean just look at the wish speech! he says it better than i ever could, it's getting the old crew's names from maxim that really sets VR-LA off on this whole journey to find them because even after the everything just their names is enough for him to remember how much he loved and still loves them!! augh

(Outro)

我的执念 万千千千 My obsessions, hundreds and thousands 放不下地 放不下天 I can't let go of the earth, I can't let go of the sky 我把红线折折剪剪 I cut and fold at the red strings 落入凡间镜重圆 I fall to the mortal realm to seek reunion

Again, y'all wanna talk about how VR-LA's still not over MR-SN. but also the last two lines as being MR-SN's POV, the 'red strings' being a reference to the red strings of fate (strings that tie lovers/soulmates together... aaa), MR-SN (or well, Mystra, I guess) literally defying fate so that they can meet again. 镜重圆 here is likely referring to 破镜重圆, a phrase that directly translates to "mending a broken mirror" and basically refers to couples (generally romantic) reconciling/reuniting after a breakup/some kind of separation which... i mean yeah thats literally just 3.7 huh. MR-SN coming back from the dead to give VR-LA closure and catharsis. anyway i'm gonna go lie on the floor now

#rolling with difficulty #rwd starship #vr la rwd #im so. jahsfksjhdfkjh #my ears are kinda bad (read: auditory processing issues) so like.. for a lot of cpop songs with more poetic? fancy? lyrics #i tend to like just add them to my playlist even if i dont actually know what the lyrics are #esp since i listen to a lot of gufeng/'historical style' cpop because i like that genre's sound but the lyrics are EXTRA incomprehensible #so basically i had this song in my playlist for like.. about a year but i was never 100% on what the lyrics are #so yeah i looked up the lyrics today and uh. felt like i got hit by a train #funnily enough i now have a floruitshow song for all my robit favs! WHY DO THEY MAKE SUCH GOOD ROBIT MUSIC #set me free = VR-LA; him = MR-SN; how can i make you stay = maxim #considering im already making an animatic for him (and made a little animation snippet for how can i make you stay) its honestly like.. #kinda.. tempting to just round out the trinity. like if i can make one animatic how hard can 2 more be? (famous last words) #also because like with the september patreon reward im even more convinced that how can i make you stay is just the maxim song of all time #its just that the diamod sutra chorus on this one kinda. complicates matters #and also because i saw an INCREDIBLE genshin animatic of this song on bilibili once and it HAUNTS me #i dont play genshin anymore i dont even like xiao it's just one of those things were like #the artistic merit on display is so impressive i have to respect the project on skill level alone #its *so good* like i cant fuckin. not even surpass i cant get anywhere *near* that. what the fuck?? #intellectually i know thats not how art works but. hnnnGGG #its that animatic and noir (the other one)'s stultifer cantus mv thats like #on a tier list of all the animatics ive seen in my life theyre on the 'lose your fuckin mind beautiful' tier #Spotify

[thursdayg1rl]

killing myself in front of the houses of parliament to change their life tragectories forever. and then maybe they will consider trying to make life easier for people in abusive situations

#why is everything so hard to DO #just registered to vote idk if i did it right #bc i searched up my name in her emails bc my school said we need to stay on top of all of it this year #and saw one asking me to register to vote and it said reply by the 19th but obviously she didnt tell me so i might just not get to vote idk #and didnt want to sign up for a postal vote bc of course they have to post the application to you and then she would be like why are you #trying to vote who do you think you are youre not allowed to be a person outside of what i allow etc etc #so ig when the time comes itll have to be in person #and you need id for that #and of course i dont have a driving licence bc im not allowed to learn how to drive so WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO #at least i can access my passport but there could be people whose parents/spouses hide their documents.. #like dp you see what i mean . everythning is a trap #also im getting so much anxiety about not knowing how to drive #bc she'll never let me learn under her roof so wtf am i supposed to do like genuinely #ill just have to go about life not knowing this basic skill #at least my brother knows how to from pakistan so he can just do the tests #i dont even KNOW #theres just so many things like that which make my skin crawl #like the fact that my bank account is linked to her phone and this address so thats a level of control she has over me like for years #and this is my address for everything official basically #and i have no idea how id even start changing it when i do leave #think the only option left is to kms maybe then ill be free

[dravidious]

(⁠ᵔ⁠ᴥ⁠ᵔ⁠)

Okay so I recorded a video of me getting a no-hit run on Fantoccio, but unfortunately my computer is weak, and the video has approximately 2.3 frames per second. Enjoy if you can

#asks #i already had to turn all the graphics settings down just to get it to run smoothly #and it ran smooth while i was playing it! #but my computer couldn't handle both running the game and recording the screen #anyway just kinda wanted to show off #if i had a nickel for every time i got attached to a hard challenge in a demo i'd have 3 nickels #there's something so pure about demos you know? #no exp no items no currency no progression #just raw gameplay #that's more of an “individual level” thing than a demo thing #but demos bring that experience to games that would otherwise be consumed by distractions like equipment or exp #specifically monster hunter #in games like monster hunter the answer to a difficult challenge is “get better gear” #people like to say “your character doesn't level up in monster hunter your SKILLS do” #but that becomes more literal than they intended when you realize that stronger armor gives you better skills and stats #your character absolutely levels up in monster hunter but by equipment instead of exp #but in a demo? there's no equipment no materials no super-powerful consumable items #there's just a vampire elder dragon and the butterknife they gave you to fight with #this probably doesn't apply to Billie Bust Up tho it's just a music-platformer #definitely buying it when it comes out