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azusawrites · 2 years

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A YEAR OF WRITING - 2021 IN REVIEW

Joining in on @ecwrenn's "A Year of Writing" which is a wonderful event that I would like to thank her for organizing! There were a ton of things that happened this year in terms of writing so it will definitely be hard to catch up, haha!

Banner credit goes to @personnedelalune!

WORD COUNT

During this entire year, I've struggled with feeling productive due to a variety of reasons, such as depression and burnout, and it always felt like I was lagging behind on my wips and the things I wanted to work on. So it was really surprising to see that rounded up, I have managed to reach around 300k words of both posted and unposted works!

That felt really wild, haha. Turns out that writing every day even if just a few words did add up little by little! Sure, some of the stuff might not make the editing process, but I'm glad to see there is still a lot of raw material that I can use.

WIPs

The two that I started this year are Mirror Marchen and Nocturnal Animals, which are both dark, urban fantasy (yes, I have a type) and fanfics for the Twisted Wonderland fandom. Mirror Marchen is posted and updated once a month as the novelization process tends to take quite a bit, but it's still the one passion project I want to see completed. It helped me polish my prose quite a bit and reignited my love for fairytale retellings as well. So far it's received positive attention and I'm very grateful for that! It really makes me happy to see others engage with something that brings me so much joy!

Nocturnal Animals is still a wip that I plan to release next year, as I wish to iron out all the kinks and creases, and make sure it's faithful to both the fandom and the VtM lore as much as it can! I told myself once that vampires aren't that fun to write, but it seems that is not the case at all. Dark fiction is surprisingly therapeutic to write and it helped me deal with stress and frustration, for which I am grateful! The modern urban fantasy vibes from this fic are weirdly healing and it contains some of the most beloved scenes I've written yet.

WRITING PROCESS

I started out 2021 with a lot of hesitation and panic in regards to my writing because I had never expected it to be so difficult to express things in a manner that I would be happy with. I'm a perfectionist by nature and an editing demon - I can go months writing and re-writing a thing and still not be satisfied, but lately, I've been trying to kick the habit and focus on the things that I do think I've done well! So, the things that I feel I have achieved this year are-

Better prose. I think it's tighter and flows better, so it makes the text sound more natural as well.

Introspective focus. Getting into a character's head is an extremely rewarding experience and I've loved doing that for characters like Malleus Draconia, who, as long-lived folk, will have a more nuanced and rather different take on things like life and mortality. Getting to express those notions in writing was very rewarding.

Character development. I've always loved making OCs, but never had the inclination to share them with others due to various factors so I've been just working at them little by little and focusing on developing them better. Now that I'm actually writing them too, it really helps with the visualization process since I can see them act out scenes and be influenced by events around them.

Themes. I've become bolder with the subjects that I write about, I think, and more inclined to take risks. And it feels like it paid off since my works are meatier as a result!

Editing more efficiently. Reading especially has helped me realize what sort of narrative I want to emulate for my own stories, so I've become quite ruthless when it comes to taking out and keeping in things that I do enjoy and think would help the story along.

PLANS FOR 2022

For the most part, it's just going on with what I have already started, so more wips will be completed and started, and more concepts explored!

Writing will become an everyday activity as well, owing to the fact that it really helped me pull through from my burnout regarding work and is also managing my depression more or less, haha.

Mirror Marchen will hopefully complete its first arc (Prologue) and starts its second one (The Crimson Tyrant) which will be accompanied by its own introduction and delve more into the worldbuilding and character introspection aspects!

Nocturnal Animals will be continued, and once the first draft will be written and edited, will be posted in weekly batches! It's the one wip that will explore a lot of dark topics and concepts so please look forward to it!

New works that I want to introduce here would be GOETIA, a fic for the Obey Me fandom along with a couple of oneshots pertaining to BNHA and Tokyo Revengers based on a lot of brainstorming and hastily written notes, haha! There's a lot of love and care put into all of these so I'm hoping it will come through as they will be posted!

I'm also planning on venturing into original fiction as well, mostly in the form of an IF horror story that I want to see come to life little by little, along with a YA gaslamp fantasy concept that is becoming maybe a bit too big for me to handle. But oh well, it's fun and that's all that matters!

Thank you to everybody who stuck with me during this year! It's really been such a joy to have you around and I appreciate your company and can't wait to see more of you during the following year! ❤️

#azusachats #ayearofwriting #a year of writing

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yaz-the-spaz · 4 years

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But I want to know your theory. :(

ok ok i guess i’ll spill…i was kinda hesitant to share just cause i’m still not all that solid in my belief in it myself but basically it seems like maybe ziam has made it a tradition to have some kind of couples trip most years (if not every year) in february ever since 2014…

(btw for future reference this ask is a continuation of this ask re ziam both being publicly in vegas earlier this year)

ugh sorry guys! hit enter by accident and posted this wayyyy before i was anywhere near finished lol…this will be updated within the hour (if it doesn’t take me too long to get my thoughts out)

narrator: she did not finish it within the hour.

…

ok so part of the reason i’ve been hesitant to share this is because a good portion of it is VERY speculative and just based on a lot of guesswork and assumptions, but also there’s the fact that it feels like this is something major that more people in the fandom (or at least someone, other than little ass me lol) would have noticed before now and it kind of freaks me out that maybe no one else has?? (unless ofc i just haven’t happened to see any other posts there are about it idk)…

also fyi a lot of what i propose throughout this is heavily based on info from this post just to make sure i remember to site my sources before we get into it lol

alright now onto the actual theory…

SO. all this started with me scrolling through old posts from late 2013/early 2014 and being reminded of the fuckery that was zayn’s bday that year (with the douche canoe crew and everyone pretending like liam was barely there as seemingly some sort of weird over-the-top cover-up)…the same party that seemed kinda like liam’s possible “introduction” to the malik family as more than just zayn’s friend/as his possible significant other. which was also only a month after that suspicious engagement-looking ring first showed up on zayn’s ring finger in december 2013 from bts midnight memories mv footage (and which stayed around as a necklace throughout january 2014 and early febuary 2014 right before the first appearance/debut of the mandala tat in mid feb).

bts midnight memories mv with the ring in view - dec 2013:

(suspicious?) malik family outing/celebration with the ring in view - dec (or possibly late nov?) 2013:

[putting the rest under the cut cause as per usual with me this got insanely long]

liam and aunt zileh at zayn’s bday party - jan 2014:

liam and one of the little cousins at zayn’s bday party - jan 2014:

then sometime in between late jan and early feb 2014 liam went on a trip to barbados with his whole family (and supposedly also sophia lol more on that later*) while zayn was SUPPOSEDLY still home and steadily “posting” pics of himself at home with various members of his family (with the ring on a necklace clearly visible in the pics lol), anddd as some have also pointed out his hair was suspiciously unchanged in these pics despite his claim of getting a haircut BEFORE most of the pics were posted lol

zayn in family pics with the ring on a necklace - late jan/early feb 2014 (sorry i’m not the one who cropped his fam out lol):

but yet we’re supposed to believe zayn - who had just gotten awarded the asian ambassadorship for the VERY FIRST time - mysteriously (and willingly) MISSED the ceremony on feb. 5th with absolutely no explanation. which…we all know how big a deal that was to him from the way he talked about it and how honored he was when he went in 2015…which begs the question if he was really just home not doing much of anything at the time in 2014 why in the world would he just pass/bail on that HUGE HONOR with no explanation??? mayhaps because he was actually already an ocean away with liam and fam in barbados celebrating his engagement (and getting his own “introduction” to the payne family) and literally COULD NOT ATTEND?

anyway so then, we have him getting the mandala tat around feb 18th 2014 - or at least this is the day he debuted it on his old ig, so the date may be a few days off from when he actually got it - but this still would’ve been shortly after they got back from the barbados trip when he debuted this particular tat (aka another solidification of the engagement??)

THEN we get the very first ig ziam likes from the famous and beloved aunt zileh (!!!) in this same month (still feb for reference, but she continues steadily and heavily liking stuff all the way through april when she seems to cool down again). fast forward to the 2014 brits at the end of february where we have the infamous moment with 1) ziam giddy as fucking ever, 2) zayn whispering into and practically mawling liam’s neck in public, 3) liam talking about how it was great to “fill each other in” on what they were up to during their break while zayn’s just steady standing there smiling like a loon and then 4) liam still later being like ‘you don’t wanna know’ when asked what he got up to (and zayn still grinning like a fool)

ziam being gross at brits 2014:

so to sum up so far: 1) one of them possibly proposed around nov/dec 2013 (or that’s my best guess anyway based on the evidence lol), 2) then zayn shows up with a suspiciously-engagement-looking ring in dec 2013, 3) then all the weirdness with liam’s attendance at zayn’s bday party a month later (possibly also liam’s formal intro to the malik family), 4) then liam takes his barbados trip with his fam (and supposedly sophia lol*) just a couple weeks later while “zayn” stays home and posts family pics (but is very likely secretly on the trip with liam lol which is also possibly zayn’s formal intro the payne family and a belated celebration of their engagement), 5) and then we get the beginning of aunt zileh’s likes, 6) the debut of zayn’s mandala tat, 7) and the 2014 brits wildness…all in the space of like 3 months. and most of it happening in FEBRUARY. what a wild fucking journey right?

*side note/fun fact: liam and his fam were posting stuff regularly throughout the duration of the barbados vacay but there were literally zero pics of sophia posted from this trip until like dec 2014 or sometime around then when like ONE random pic suddenly surfaced/was posted and lots of ppl had already speculated that sophia was never there in the first place so once this one pic came up that idea got upgraded to people theorizing that they maybe had some of the fam go back a second time later in the year just to stage take photos to retroactively prove/authenticate the narrative that sophia was there lol

but anyway so back to the actual matter at hand - most of that shit happened in february right? specifically the barbados trip (aka the possible engagement celebration trip)…and when i was talking about all this to a friend we realized ZIAMI WAS ALSO IN FEBRUARY. AND SO WAS THIS YEAR’S VEGAS SHIT. AND THEN. AND THEN. My friend did some research and there was apparently this little known/barely talked about article (or at least barely talked about that i’m aware of) about liam taking a TRIP TO THE MALDIVES IN FEBRUARY 2016… which coincidentally (or not lol considering these shady ass hoes) is also around the same time he got his 4 tattoo (I believe this was the first article, or at least one of the first articles, that mentioned the tat’s debut)

BUT WAIT.

THE INSANE SHIT DOES NOT END THERE FOLKS.

GUESS WHICH MONTH THE CARTIER BRACELET FIRST DEBUTED?

FUCKING FEBRUARY 2016.

specifically on liam’s wrist in preparation for the 2016 brits (photo posted to his brits stylist’s ig on feb 23rd). and he didn’t take it off till like june.

so. quick timeline:

february 2016 - maldives trip and debut of liam’s 4 tattoo (around feb 21st); debut of cartier bracelet via liam (feb 23rd); (there was also that valentine’s day roses pic liam posted feb 14th of this year which was quite interesting considering he and c hadn’t even been officially announced as a “thing” yet…ofc we know it still got retroactively attributed to her anyway but whatever, we all know who it was really for lol 😏)

february 2017 - i don’t have anything on this year, partly cause i stopped paying as close attention due to heavy ramping up of stunts, although if anyone has more concrete info on this period that hints at anything please do hit me up and i will add it in, but anyway just based on a little light research there does appear to be a good period of inactivity from both of them during this time (as in both of them had quite a bit of time in february where they were pretty inactive on sm, not being papped, and essentially mia and would have potentially had time to go on a private trip) - UPDATE: HOLY SHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT THIS BUT THIS IS THE YEAR LIAM SHOWED UP AT THE BRITS WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING 25 ON HIS JACKET AND FUCKED SIMON ALL THE WAY UP BY SWERVING ON HIS UGLY BITCH ASS SPEECH IN FRONT OF GOD AND ENTIRE WORLD (and i think also thanked zayn in his speech if i’m not mixing that up with another year??) - all on feb 23rd to be specific.

february 2018 - ZIAMI OBVIOUSLY (which specifically started feb 22nd, or at least that’s the day i’m counting it as ‘started’ cause it’s the day liam joined zayn in miami, can’t recall the exact day zayn arrived but pretty sure it was only a couple days before that)

february 2019 - zayn starts wearing this distinctive fishhook earring in all his ig pics, which on the surface seems like a pretty small thing, but quite possibly commemorates their famous august 2014 fishing trip (directly after which he also started wearing a fish hook pendant on a necklace back in 2014); this was also another period they were pretty quiet/mia as far as i can recall, although again if anybody has more concrete info from this time that could point to something please let me know, but anyway point being they again would have had a good chunk of time to possibly go on a private trip together

february 2020 - VEGAS BABY

ofc i’m sure you all will notice one year was left out - february 2015 they were on tour with no breaks coming anytime soon so they obviously weren’t able to go on a trip that year. BUT. february 14th 2015 (aka valentine’s day lol) is also the day liam was famously papped with some small shopping bags that looked suspiciously but precisely like the type that usually come from a jewelry store, and then later that same night they had a performance (for otra tour) where we have zayn pictured wearing a new gold bracelet (as in he hadn’t been seen wearing it ever before on tour or anywhere else) - btw the op of this linked post actually marks this day as the debut of the cartier bracelet but there’s a lot of counter speculation that it’s not and given that it doesn’t quite look like the cartier bracelet looked in later pics (it’s more round and more gold than the cartier bracelet which imo looks more angular and more kind of a two-tone/silvery-gold than this vday bracelet) i’m inclined to lean more towards it just being a regular but still very sweet vday-gifted bracelet. but anyway back to more important stuff. now considering this was literally just a little over a month before zayn left - and one of my theories for zayn leaving was that it was possible he felt it was the only way to save his relationship with liam…i mean if they were still giving each other vday presents they were clearly still VERY in love at this point. like that’s not the kind of thing you’d expect from a couple that was on the rocks and on the verge of breaking up and i know a lot of ppl (myself included for a brief minute) speculated that zayn leaving the band meant he maybe left liam too/or things weren’t working out b/t them or whatever, but given this context of the vday gifts just a few weeks before him leaving that doesn’t really line up…what does line up though is him being so in love and so sick of the bs that he might be driven to just be done with it all (as far as the stress of the band and mgmt bs is concerned at least). and ofc liam did say that zayn is the most emotionally impulsive/emotionally driven out of all them so when you think about it it really shouldn’t come as that much of a surprise…

anyway, in conclusion:

it appears quite possible ziam has made it a couples tradition (ever since that first honeymoonish vacay in 2014) to go on some sort of trip/getaway together around the end of every february (or at least do something special together/for each other when they can’t) and in further conclusion I AM NOT OKAY AND WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS REALIZATION OKAY THANKS BYE 😭😭😭😭😭🌈🌈🌈

#asks #anons #ziam #ziam february #ziam engagement #ziam anniversary #ziam theories #ziami #ziam vegas #(btw ziam vegas 2020 was feb 23rd but i didn't wanna ruin the aesthetic of the line by putting it in there so i just added it here lol)#ziam jewelry #ziam bracelets #cartier bracelets #aunt zileh #ziam tattoos #mandala tattoo #zayn's mandala tattoo #liam's 4 tattoo #ziam coincidences #ziam masterposts #zayn leaving #ugh i'm soooo sorry guys i did not anticipate this taking me a full 4 goddamn hours wtf #(i started this at 10:30pm and it is now 2:18am what in the actual hell is my brain whyyyy am i like this)#but anyway i really hope this gets a a good amount of notes for all the work (read: blood; sweat & tears lol) i put into #getting all this together in a coherent way lol #(cause y'all do not wanna see the mess of a convo this spawned from - honestly it is A PIPING HOT MESS lol)#anyway enjoy folks #(good lord what is wrong with me i literally just added a whole nother extra hour of work for myself by deciding to add gifs and pics #and more links...it is now past 3am...i have a PROBLEM)

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quiet-hypnotist · 4 years

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Of Drinks And Dreams

(Just a quick heads-up: This story features a fairly conversational induction scene. And given the nature of that style, please have a content warning. All suggestions that the tist in this story mentions are about feeling pleasure from obedience and being taken into hypnosis. At the end there is the mention of a re-induction trigger, yet that along with all suggestions is framed to fade as the story ends, much like waking from a dream. A dream about what exactly? Well, for that much detail you gotta read it yourself. Enjoy!)

“Hey there. I hope you saved a beer for me.” The friendly call turned some heads, but not more than on any other Friday evening in this place. The small hotel bar wasn’t exactly the place where people would go to find isolation. During the work days that might have meant a bustling bartender and busy waiters all throughout the room. Yet as it so often went the last days of the week flushed only the weary or the troubled through the doors. And whoever didn’t silently cling to their glass eventually let silky dark air outside flush them back out the same way, sending them to bed or back to the grind.

As such the room was already almost deserted, the only one’s who truly took note were the three people who, with beaming faces, turned to face the source of the noise and wave. The two guys sitting across from each other smirked before one of them corrected their glasses for the dramatic effect, donning their best imitation of what might have otherwise been a stern voice: “Get your butt moving and order one then. Ain’t no one saving a drink for the tardy around here.”

“Oh, woe is me! My best friends leave me to just die of thirst.” “Yeah,” the second guy nodded with a smug grin, “and of hunger, too. Don’t think just because you let me copy your notes every week that you’d get even one of these fries from me.” “Oh, guys, c’mon! He was just half an hour late. Why would we possibly have a reason to take that out on him?” The group’s only lady looked no less amused by the exchange than the other two. Though as she shifted in her seat to tug a strand of pink hair behind her ears that expression softened from one of mockery to honest warmth. “Take a seat for now. And here’s your drink.” As he seated himself opposite from her she pushed a filled glass in front of him. “And here I thought I would get to see the day where you finally keep all the good stuff to yourself.” Despite the words he received it with thanks, all the more seeing as both she and the guys still had their own glasses right there. “Already on the second round?” “Don’t be ridiculous,” the first speaker waved it aside, “isn’t it only natural we’d wait for you?” On the other side of the table the smug guy laughed. “Ryan, you do notice how much you’re contradicting yourself, right?” Adjusting his glasses again more out of embarrassment over his act from before than of necessity, Ryan countered: “Not like you or Brielle were any better.” “Oh, I don’t know,” Brielle winked, “I think Jeff here was pretty convincing. Or can you imagine him willingly sharing food with anyone?” “Ah, you have a point.” “Excuse me? What are you implying here?” “Nothing, of course. Could these eyes lie to you?” “Damn, yes, they could.” “Hey now, that’s the privilege of a lady.” “C’mon, Erik, say something to her, will you?” Instead of saying something he took a sip from the offered beer before chuckling. “Nah, I think I’ll let you folks do the talking tonight.” “See, that is why I don’t share my fries with him.”

“Don’t tell me…” Brielle stopped to take a good look at his face. “Did it happen again?” He nodded. For a moment the group fell silent. “Damn, you really have it figured out, huh?” “I wish.” Ryan shook his head in disbelief. “You need to get a grip, man. There’s no way it works like that.” “You’d really think so.” It was always the same reaction. Not like Erik could blame them. Honestly, he himself often enough doubted what was going on. And he was there when it happened. How would they have an easier time believing it?

“Err, sorry to be the party pooper or something.” Jeff scratched his head in hopes of finding the right tone for the occasion: “But could someone maybe give me a quick rundown here? What are you even saying happened? Traffic jam or some such? We… we are talking about why Erik was late, aren’t we?”

Brielle chuckled with that same helpless eye roll as the day Erik had first told her about it. Ryan meanwhile frowned: “You haven’t heard yet?” “That’s why I’m asking, wouldn’t you say?” “Hey, no need to get snarky. Just… oh, who am I kidding, it’s not like I would have that clear an idea myself.”

To assist him Brielle mentioned: “Erik chatted up a girl.”

And fell silent again. As if that would explain anything. Thousands of people chatted up someone. And just as Erik would have expected, Jeff seemed to be of a similar opinion: “Hey man, good for you! You’ve been single long enough! What’s it been since that cutie from the pool party? Six years? Seven?” “Something like that,” Erik forced himself to smile, “but it’s not what you think.”

“Aww, no need to get shy now! We’ve all flirted with a girl before here. Some of us still are.” Jeff winked at Brielle who just let one of her hands disappear under the table. Seconds later he grimaced but at least today he managed to not make a sound despite the pain where she pinched him.

“You’ll never learn, will you?” Erik sighed. “But be that as it may, really, it is not like that. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I had every intention on maybe getting her number. Ask her out on a date, get to know her. You know the drill. But… well, I kinda… talked to her.”

Still wary and with a grumpy glace at the girl besides him Jeff fired back: “That’s usually how flirting with someone new works, Mr. Smartypants. Though hopefully you didn’t only talk to her. Because if that is how you ended up half an hour late I have an idea why you’re making such a long face now.”

Ryan on the other hand nodded, suddenly a lot milder than a few minutes ago: “I feel you there, buddy, believe me. They wanna hear about your hobbies and before you even get into the third arc of Gundams they mysteriously have a prior engagement to get to.” “No, sorry, that might be just your problem there.”

Brielle shut the guys up with a glare that probably would have managed to freeze lava if she tried. Before directing her attention back to Erik, all concern and worry. “What I don’t understand,” she carefully approached the issue, “is why it keeps happening? It would be odd enough if it happened at all, of course, however sometimes life just plays out that way. But every time?” “Tell me about it,” he grimaced. She didn’t seem to press on after seeing his expression. A gap that Jeff more than eagerly used to get a word in himself: “Or better yet, you tell us! Sure you might not exactly play up there with the big movie stars when it comes to sex appeal, but really I can’t see a single reason why you wouldn’t find a date when you actually make an honest effort. So what are you doing that it ends up like this each time?”

It was obvious that their interest was raised to the point where they would never let him off the hook. Especially Jeff, friendly, supportive, nosey Jeff. If Erik didn’t watch his step the guy might just drag him to five blind dates a week until the matter was solved or something. He sure wouldn’t hesitate all for the sake of helping a friend. Though would it really be considered help given the circumstances? So he cleared his throat, taking another sip of liquid courage and tried to express just how it went.

“Really, I’ve been convinced it had to be just a coincidence for the longest time, much like you guys. I mean, it sounds lunatic no matter how you slice it. Chatting up a hot person is enough of a hurdle as it is. But seeing how odd they behave every time… ”

“So what if they tiptoe around you not being their type?”

“Oh, no. No, I doubt you could call it that. Though granted, that’s what anyone would think the first couple times around. So, you know, that’s a fair point to make. But no. It’s not like they feigned interest until a convenient distraction moves the conversation into safer waters. Or like they mysteriously get phone calls that need them to leave and postpone any meetings with me for the indefinite future. Nothing of the sort.”

It had a soothing effect to watch the golden brown alcohol swirl in the glass when he gently moved it while speaking and he found the motion helped the words flowing.

“If anything it is exactly… well, maybe not exactly but still pretty much the opposite. They don’t lose interest. If I had to say it, they get too interested in what I say. Like this girl today. She actually was the one coming up to me this time.”

“Aren’t you just bragging now?” Jeff’s question was swiftly followed by a painful yelp and a death glare that quickly vanished behind Brielle’s gentle encouragement: “Now I would get why you’re sure she wouldn’t just politely avoid you.”

“Right?” He appreciated how she helped him get back on track after the interruption. “I don’t even really remember what she started off with, but within a couple minutes we found ourselves sitting down at a nearby bench with two cheap paper cups in our hands and letting the heat of the coffee inside just warm our fingers. And I want to claim that we had a really eloquent conversation about this or that, but… well, to be honest I just talked. And I guess it was fine because she didn’t do much else. The words just kept flowing as a welcome reason to sit together, spend the time in each other’s company and whatever was said didn’t even matter compared to just keep that moment going.”

Jeff seemed to have some words of his own but no sooner had he opened his mouth when with a careful glance at the pink haired girl next to him he fell silent. Erik barely noticed how dumbfounded he looked with his mouth opening and closing like a carp. In his mind he was back there, on the bench, a flimsy cup of coffee in his fingers instead of cold beer, once more seeing the expression of that young woman.

“She didn’t mind just listening. In fact sometimes she would nod along much as if she were feeling every word she heard. Maybe you already know that sort of fugue when it just feels so right to listen that the only important thing becomes to keep hearing that other person’s voice?” “Mhm,” Brielle murmured, all her attention on him. The guys both leaned back, evidently happy to wait their turn with further words.

“And honestly, had anyone been seeing the two of us sit there it likely wouldn’t have seemed like something out of the ordinary. Just imagine it, taking a stroll in the sun and seeing her there, focused on every word she heard and yet not being aware of a single one of them. Because in that moment it was much better to let the warmth from the cup soak into her. Much easier to simply nod and listen. So very comfy to stop thinking about where the conversation flowed. And how could it not? When even I, the one who kept talking, stopped thinking about the words and focused only on how lovely this person looked?”

He took another sip more to wet his throat than because he was thirsty, but neither of them so much as moved.

“And had such an onlooker continued to take in the scene, can we be sure they had noticed the signs? Would they really have become aware of how that woman’s head started drooping a little more with each nod? Would they have realized the way those shoulders slumped a little more with each breath? Would those eyes have seemed glassy and doll-like even from a distance? Or would all of those things simply happen without anyone noticing at all as the body simply responded to impulses beyond control?”

It was a question he still knew no answer to and at this point he began to wonder if it even mattered at all.

“Memory is such a blurry, foggy thing sometimes but perhaps you remember moments like that, caught somewhere in an unexplored haze between waking and dreaming, between listening and blankly absorbing. And I suppose that must have happened to that girl. Because by the time I noticed she was leaning against me, those eyes fluttering as if dancing on the line between watching and dreaming. Who really knows if she even had the ability left to notice her lips being softly parted, a faint trickle of drool escaping her as she slumped that far.”

Somehow the swirling beer inside his jug became a canvas, conjuring up all the impressions from that time anew. The weight of a person leaning on that arm. The warmth of another body right next to his. The slow, steady rhythm of her breath. The subtle moans as he continued to speak: “She was beautiful like that, no doubt. And as such I dared not to disturb the moment. Whether aware or not, she felt here and now was exactly the right place and exactly the right time to let all worries and cares go. And I cannot put my finger on why, but we both knew that it was perfectly fine because that mind was so good at absorbing the words that continued to flow around it.”

Did the words flow down into the depths between slumbering thoughts like a warm, soothing liquid down a thirsty throat? It was a nice image at the very least. He smiled, appreciating that his friends had fallen still to give him a chance and get it all out.

“Of course, I say that the words don’t matter but that does not mean they were without meaning. It was just that neither of us needed to think about them because conversation took a life of it’s own, flowing on and on in a way we could drift along with. Like when I just began putting into words how attractive she was or how pleasurable it felt to be this close.”

The memory alone stirred up a blissful shiver.

Opposite from him Jeff and Brielle seemed to know exactly what he was talking about, both of them leaning against each other with dopey smiles on their faces and half-closed eyes. Meanwhile Ryan next to him slumped against the wall and seemed close to dozing off. Not like anyone could blame him. It was the middle of the night and by now the three were the only guests left. As the evening progressed it would be a surprise if people didn’t fall asleep.

He considered ushering the group to bed. But… he had never really had someone listen to him about this issue before and to be honest it was cathartic in a way to get it all out.

“Was it maybe the warmth of our drinks that melted one moment into the next? Or maybe the way the wind seemed to carry words and thoughts and anything else away for a while? Whichever it may have been, neither of us noticed how the longer I kept talking, the more pleasurable she found it to listen to me. Which may have been remarkable in hindsight, considering how the more she entrusted that mind to my words the more she began to shiver and moan. It almost seemed like that young woman’s mind felt the sheer sound of my voice with the intensity of soft, intimate touches. And it wasn’t before she was clutching my arm, openly panting in aroused heat that it dawned on me. It had happened again. Somehow it happens all the time. Like there were a pattern in the way I speak that inevitably draws someone in if they are willing to listen and follow the thoughts my voice offers.”

It was nice that his friends restrained their comments to moans under their breath. They clearly had to hold it in a fair bit, the excitement from not talking seemed to nearly overwhelm them as they shuddered and panted the moment he began to speak.

“It is like my words were putting her under a kind of hypnotic spell until all she could think about was whatever I told her. Like she were mesmerized to believe obeying this voice she hears meant pleasure and pleasure meant obedience. She was falling more and more under this spell the longer she kept listening. And kept listening only ever more intently the deeper she fell for me. By the time we realized this she was already so deep that the thought of obeying something I said alone was already sending wave after wave of pulsing arousal through her.”

Goodness, those three really gave it their all to hold back their opinions! They sounded just like that girl had as he wondered if the talk they had was going to turn her into a slave to the sound of his voice.

“In the end, of course, just as Ryan pointed out before, that just isn’t how flirting works. Of course in many ways a good flirt is about honing the art of seduction. Thus I could easily see how someone who enjoys this kind of flirt might get seduced into letting their thoughts fade the more they listen. Or might even get drawn into such a joyful haze that they start to crave doing as they are told when it is a safe time and place for that to happen. But in the end, a fun flirty dream is all it was. Because that is how that works.”

As he watched their faces Erik couldn’t help but wonder if they were already on their own way to dreamland. Ryan looked totally knocked out. Jeff was sprawled all over his seat, his mouth hanging but whatever comment he may have wanted to make long forgotten. And meanwhile Brielle rested on his chest, though her eyes fluttered open every now and again, unfocused and merely vaguely gazing in his direction. While one of her hands rested on a suspicious bulge in Jeff’s pants.

“That’s how it works. And yet, can you imagine why this keeps happening? It’s like this same dream keeps returning every time. During every flirt. As soon as I say something specific. Like, could it be possible that I would only need to say something as unusual as ‘Hibiscus puppets’ for that mind to drop right back into this dream of obedience and mindless submission? If that were so, can you imagine how powerful and intense the pleasure from this dream must be to draw them right back here when they feel it is appropriate and safe?”

The empty jug made a dull sound as it came to rest on the table. From across the room the waiter gave him a warning gesture by pointing at the clock. Sounds didn’t carry across the room as easily, but that wasn’t necessary to realize how late it had gotten. No wonder all three of them fell asleep.

“That woman is on her way home now, and honestly I don’t even know if she remembers the talk we had. That’s the thing about dreams, even if they leave an impression the brain usually remembers exactly as much or as little as it likes. What I do know is that she asked for my number right around the start, so who knows? If she really wants to, perhaps she will chat me up again sometime. After I returned to my senses and found that this weird flow had happened again I certainly did no longer dare ask for hers. Not when there were greater priorities. Like waking her up, for example. Because as comfortable as it may be to rest and dream with a kind voice flowing around those heads, eventually all the dreams will end and dissolve. As each dream gets followed by thoughts and awareness returning. But who am I kidding, of course you would already be so familiar with that. Speaking of which, you three, rise and shine. We gotta get you home safely as well after all. So c’mon, try to hear what I say so the sound can slowly guide you back up and awake!”

“Hmm… What?”

While rubbing the sleep from her eyes Brielle got up first. The guys took longer, but then again maybe they just really needed some shut-eye that bad.

“Sorry, probably bored you to death,” Erik shrugged, “Tell you what, as thanks for listening this round is all on me. Deal?”

“Awesome! Why didn’t you say that first? Feel free to always talk to me about your troubles from now on.” Jeff beamed at the news that he could leave his purse untouched tonight.

“Leech.” Ryan chuckled before turning pale at the sight of his smartphone display. “Shucks, folks, no choice here. I gotta run. Thanks for covering for me tonight. We should do this again sometime. I feel like I missed half of what you said. See you later!” And just like that he was out the door.

“He could at least have taken the time to say some proper goodbyes first if that’s how it was.” Despite her choice of words however Brielle didn’t sound displeased in the slightest. “Are you really gonna just treat us all? It’s perfectly fine for me to…”

“Don’t you worry about that. I was late and on top of that we only talked about my date today. This is the least one can do as thanks.”

“Ah. Maybe you really want to hold your horses then. Because sorry as I am to say after you went through the trouble of explaining it all, but I still feel pretty out of it. Not sure if anything of what we talked about stuck. Even though I finally hoped to understand just how to help you with your problem.”

“Don’t sweat it. Really, you guys were sleeping for most of it anyway. It would have been outstanding if you remembered the conversation in detail despite that.”

Even while responding a buzzing sound distracted him. A mail on his phone. From an unfamiliar number.

“Someone important?” Of course Brielle wouldn’t miss the effect these few digital words had on him. Which given his dumbfounded stare would likely have been hard even for a less attentive person. Like Jeff, who simply grunted: “Probably spam.”

“It’s her. The girl from earlier. She’s asking if this was my number and if so, if I remember what we had to drink during our talk. So that I can treat her to a repeat tomorrow evening at my place.”

“Smooth,” Brielle commented with a smirk, “So you can do it after all. Now I better hope your memory is more reliable than mine. I still can’t recall what that word was you mentioned along the way. Even though I really liked the expression. What was it? Did it have something to do with flowers?”

She was darn cute when she scrunched up her face like that. Without thinking he blurted out: “What? Did you mean ‘Hibiscus puppets’ maybe?”

As if struck by lightning both of them dropped whatever they were doing, eyes fluttering shut as they slumped in their seats. The change was far too dramatic so that even Erik could not have missed it.

“Oh fuck me,” he breathed as his eyes drank in the sight of his two hypnotized friends, “I did it again!” ***

Did you like this story? Then there’s good news! You can consider heading over to my Patreon and pledge, which will keep me writing even more smut for you every week! Yes, for you! Since my patrons even get a chance to have me write their favorite things. So head over there and learn how!

#My writing #hypnosis #conversational hypnosis #trance #obedience #mindlessness #trigger

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lookatthisdork · 7 years

Text

Case Study: Cassandra, Damian, and Tim

I read Batman: Gates of Gotham just now because my library happened to have it and it actually includes Cassandra (!). It might also be the last substantial appearance of Cassandra/Black Bat in the Post-Crisis canon (!!!). Naturally, I have to wax poetic about it with panels and long diatribes concerning batsibling relationships.

Context: Gates of Gotham (GoG) is a five-issue limited series published in May 2011, making it a very late addition to canon before the New 52 launched around September. At least, I’m pretty sure this is a canon story. Scott Snyder got first billing on the cover, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this story was prototyping some of the stuff for the Court of Owls.

But who cares about canonicity when we get Cass, Damian and Tim all interacting in the same book?!

(Quick shout out to renaroo who did a breakdown of Cass and Damian in GoG back in 2016. Go look at it! I’ll be reblogging it before this post as well.)

(TL;DR at the bottom.)

For clarity, our main cast is Dick as Batman, Damian as Robin, Tim as Red Robin, and Cassandra as Black Bat. Stephanie, Jason, and Barbara do not appear; Bruce puts in a very brief cameo at the end.

GoG immediately establishes that Batman and Red Robin are working on an explosives smuggling case together, and within a few pages elaborates Red Robin’s also in close contact with Black Bat. Dick admits he didn’t even know Cassandra was in town until she pops up at home base, which makes sense; Cass at this point in canon operates out of Hong Kong, so Dick has no immediate reason to know what’s she’s up to. Tim, on the other hand, is completely unsurprised; apparently he’s been working the case with Cass before he brought it to Dick’s attention.

So in the very beginning of GoG, we have a three-way team-up that started as Black Bat reaching out to Red Robin, who then contacted Batman. Which, honestly, I think is cool? Cassandra went to Tim first when the smuggling left her territory - I’m already getting warm fuzzies about the implied working relationship.

In the same page as Cassandra’s entrance, we get Damian and this super telling panel:

Now, I’m pretty sure that the way Dick is saying “I’d recommend minding Damian” is implying that this is Cassandra’s first real encounter with the kid. We are seeing history in the making here, folks. Or we would be if Cass hadn’t been reset in the New 52.

Then we get the next page:

Notice all that visual distance between Damian and his siblings in the first panel as well as the way he’s rendered creepily in shadow in the second. It’s a rather isolating composition choice, portraying Damian as the outsider while his siblings are comfortably close together, enjoying a dynamic that existed before he joined the family. No one told Damian to stay back, but no one’s encouraging him to come forward either, so the distance kind of settles in.

I would also like to point out that when one of his siblings does look back towards him, it’s Cassandra, not Dick.

Skipping forward through plot and stuff, we next get Black Bat and Robin watching over the Iceberg Lounge. Whoo, team-up! There’s a lot to parse here.

Robin makes it clear he’s not thrilled with being on the Penguin Protection Detail (makes sense in context) before we get all of this:

Wow, okay, Damian, calm your jets.

Let’s break this down. Damian starts with saying he’s heard about Cass specifically as “Black Bat” and as the one “destined to lead the League of Assassins to glory.” I find it super interesting that Damian focused on Cass’s League connections rather than her career as Batgirl here; is Damian still using the League as a marker of quality and ability like he would have before he was Robin? Or is Damian making an indirect link between himself, the other League kid, and Cass? Could be both...personally I’d say both.

There’s a beat panel of Cass after Damian says that first bit - I included it here because the timing seems intentional. I doubt Cass is super proud of her reputation in the League, so I think the beat is a bit of hesitation, a bit of her wanting to avoid this becoming a proper conversation.

Then we have “I have to admit -- I’m not impressed.” And Cass specifically looks over at Damian rather than ignore him (contrast the beat panel).

The thing where Damian says Cass should stop giving him condescending looks...oh boy. I’m 98% sure Damian is barking up the wrong tree here. Actually, 99.9% sure. He’s reading condescension and hostility where there really isn’t any to be found, and the ensuing defensiveness is causing him to lash out with his own condescending remarks. “I’m not the one Father relegated to Hong Kong. Maybe there’s a reason.” This is both super rude and greatly undersells Cassandra’s skills, but it’s more a reflection on Damian’s own insecurity with his position that this is the insult he throws at a fellow Batsibling.

Cass, for her part, does not engage with the insult. She turns the other cheek, reminding Damian without explicitly reminding him that they’re on a job. That said, her stoic reaction doesn’t necessarily mean that Damian’s dig doesn’t bother her. In fact, I think her next conversation with Tim indicates that it does bother her.

Think about the context - what Cass would have said first - that Tim’s response was “Trust me -- I’ve wanted to kill him more times than I can count.” Granted, Tim is taking his dislike of Damian to it’s logical extreme here, but it sounds like he’s commiserating with a Cass that is more than a little put out by an unwarranted attack on her person.

Which, leads us right into Tim and Cass in this arc. I’ve only read a little bit of Tim, but I’m getting the impression that he’s the type of person that shit-talks about people he or someone else is angry with (eg Damian) in the company of people he trusts (eg Cassandra). Since Cass is kind of pissed at Damian, Tim shit-talks about him on her behalf - like when one sibling has a bad breakup and the other sibling goes off on a “why I never liked that person” rant. Not the best coping mechanism since it can easily turn into nasty gossip (and that’s still your little brother, Tim), but that’s what he’s doing in this panel.

And rather than correct him and dismiss Tim’s own very real frustration OR agree with him and feed into the unhealthy dynamic, Cassandra listens without passing a final judgement. Maybe I’m reading too much into her “hm” here, but I’m translating it as “I see what you mean, thanks for sharing” - not a “yes”, not a “no”. Good older sibling middle-ground, basically.

Right after that, we have Cassandra complimenting Tim’s problem-solving skills.

Which? This is so sweet? “It’s what you do. You’ll figure it out.” “It’s part of your niche. And they all know it.” Cassandra has this easy faith in Tim to figure shit out, and Tim’s not quite grasping how deep her faith goes. I will never get over my positive Cass-Tim relationship, okay? More fanworks need to capitalize on this.

After this there’s some bombs. While Batman deals with his own elsewhere in the city, Robin tries to disarm the bomb in the Iceberg Lounge while Black Bat evacuates.

He doesn’t succeed, which leads to this:

(Middle panel is Batman - ignore that one)

Two things here: 1) Robin does not want to give up, even when it’s very clear that he’s completely out of time. 2) Black Bat gave him as much time as she possibly could (there’s one second on that clock, guys) before picking up her little brother and bodily removing him.

Aftermath:

This might be my favorite scene with these two. Damian is angry, frustrated, and he feels like Black Bat forced him (allowed him) to fail. Meanwhile, Cassandra reminds him that she doesn’t care about failure because what matters is Damian is still alive. Here’s Damian who had a chance to prove himself, apparently blew it, and is now getting huffy with his rescuer. And here’s Cassandra pinning him to the roof, making him listen as she reminds him that he doesn’t have to prove himself, she loves him and just wants him to live.

Cass is best big sis, is all I’m saying.

And when Damian is at a loss, his default MO is to take parting shots at whoever’s around.

And hey, having Dickbats in this last panel, let’s mention a few things about him.

Here’s his thoughts about the whole bomb situation:

“When I was Robin, I always thought I could be as good as Bruce was. But now...I’m standing in the debris of his tower and I can’t help but thing -- he would never have let it get this far.”

(Dick has a problem with holding himself to impossible standards and building Bruce up in his head.)

And Dick’s thoughts on Tim:

“Even as Tim explains what he found, I can’t stop thinking about how much I rely on him. He’s a better Robin that I ever was. He’ll probably end up being a better Batman, too.”

(Dick’s still putting himself down, but at least we get Dick also having a lot of faith in Tim. Lonely Place of Living disagrees with the Tim-Batman assessment, though.)

Next up, Tim-Damian team-up! They both sound super excited about it [/sarcasm].

Yikes.

In defense of Tim, Damian is in full Undeserved Insult Mode here. We start with Tim’s refute of Damian calling Cass useless, then Damian calls her “spineless, naive and fragile”, and finally we have him calling Tim’s “eagerness to trust” a weakness. That’s three insults in as many sentences, two of which were aimed at a shared sister who Tim trusts and admires. Not to mention Cass saved Damian’s butt not very long ago while reassuring him that his “failure” to disarm the bomb was not his fault.

Damian is a kid, yes, but he’s also mature enough to run around Gotham and exercise judgement about how to balance lives as a vigilante. He really should be held accountable for the stuff that comes out of his mouth, and I can’t blame Tim for losing his cool.

That said, Tim is savage as fuck, holy shit.

“Well, deny it all you want -- but I think we both know the only real reason you don’t like her...is that she’s just one more person your father picked over you.”

Tim has a talent for discerning weakness in a person and exploiting the shit out of it to maximum effect. With Damian, this means using well-placed words to emphasize his feelings of insecurity and inadequacy next to his adopted siblings. It’s fucked up and not constructive at all - pointing out flaws like this doesn’t encourage Damian to change. But Tim doesn’t want Damian to change - he wants him to shut up.

Just look at his responses: a simple denial that Cass isn’t useless, a dismissal of Damian’s mistrust, and a piercing comment on his daddy-sibling issues. The first two responses are not necessarily rude - a sign that Tim’s not actively picking a fight - but they’re not invitations to talk or well-meaning corrections. When Damian says rude shit, Tim shuts him down and isn’t afraid to get nasty back. He has no interest in playing the part of the patient older sibling.

(Cue arguments about whether the onus is on Tim to give a damn, Damian to chill the fuck out, or Dick/Cass/Bruce/an actual adult to sit these two down and reach some understanding. Personally, I think these two need a proper adult.)

That said, both Tim and Damian look out for each other while fighting, so their relationship could definitely be worse.

Coming up to the final issue of this miniseries, Cass and Damian work together to deal with a bigger version of the bomb from last time. The plan involves moving the bomb instead of disarming it. Importantly, Cass asks Damian to trust her and he does, without dissent or hesitation. I see progress!

Finally, Cass visits Tim, who was out of the climax due to a concussion. They have a short heart-to-heart thing, during which Tim kind of blames Damian for blowing up the Batboat while Cass defends that “we kind of did that together.” I don’t feel like posting panels of this scene, but it’s nice enough.

TL;DR: GoG features a rocky but promising start to Cassandra and Damian’s relationship before the New 52 erased it. Damian makes a bit of an ass of himself, but Cassandra has sufficient chill that they end this arc on a good note. I would be looking forward to more if not for the Orphan reboot, I will never not be salty about this.

Cassandra and Tim continue to have a strong relationship, trusting each other both professionally and personally. More people should explore this dynamic, and I’m looking forward to catching up on the canon between GoG and early Batgirl (aka where I actually am in my comic reading).

Tim and Damian continue to bring out the worst in each other. Swear to god, someone needs to just shove them in a closet with a counselor or something.

Generally, GoG was a fun read. Cass is mostly in-character, and I’m a sucker for self-contained Gotham stories with no crossovers and no weird magic/alien shenanigans. I’d recommend it.

#batman #meta #character study #comic panel #cassandra cain #damian wayne #tim drake #dick grayson #this got really long #lots of pics #note that damian did not immediately take to cassandra #it's a work in progress #tim and damian have no chill #someone stage an intervention for those two #cass and tim love each other #spread the word #batfam #batfamily

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kittenwritesstuff · 7 years

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The ghost of you

Fandom: Being Human (UK) Pairing: John Mitchell x (ghost)reader Genres: angst, mention of death, fluff Words: 1.870 Summary: Before the war, Mitchell and reader were in love and planning their future together. Soon after John left, reader was informed he died in a battle. They meet again years after - reader is a ghost, Mitchell’s a vampire - requested by Anonymous

Nothing could stop him. No matter how many times you asked, begged and pleaded, Mitchell’s mind was made – he was joining the army and there was nothing you could do about it.

Of course, you were not happy. Your man, the love of your life, was about to, most likely, sacrifice his life and the fact that it was for greater good meant nothing to you. He was yours and yours only and you selfishly wanted him to stay by your side and never leave.

The ring on your finger felt heavier once he left. John proposed the day before his departure but it didn’t ease your mind. “It’s a promise,” he’s said, “that I will come back to you and we will have the life we wanted.”

An envelope you had received the other day was enough of an answer. He was never coming back. You didn’t need to open it to know what information was inside. “We are most sad to inform you that John Mitchell, a soldier of British Army has been reported deceased in a battle.”

These words were enough to break your heart and make you unable to cope with day-to-day life. Yes, you were still attending your job, but you could not bring yourself to enjoy it anymore. Your friends and family offered you support, and you were thankful for that, but it did nothing more than cheer you up only for a brief moment.

Once you were back at home, now only yours, you were reminded that your Mitchell would never share it with you again and all the dreams that you had, of your life with him, were crashed.

We was never coming home.

_______

2008

Annie slides at the top of the table, her legs dangling above the floor. You sit in an armchair, looking out of the window, bored beyond imagination.

“Lord, I’m so happy I’ve met you. I mean, I’m not happy you died but at least I’m not alone in afterlife,” you say half-jokingly and Annie chuckles.

“Yeah, it can be boring. Before I learnt that I actually can go outside the house, I almost died from boredom,” she jests and you let out a short laughter. It’s good to have someone else around.

After you died of pneumonia almost a hundred years ago, you’ve been on your own for most of the time. Sure, from time to time, someone new was appearing nearby but they stuck around for few days, months at best, until they figured out what was keeping them on earth and then – puff, door appeared and through it they went.

You have yet to solve the mystery of your own ‘unsolved business’. During your life as a ghost, you spent quite some time keeping an eye on your family and closest friends, guessing that maybe there was something you didn’t tell or do but it seemed that you were meant to stay as a ghost for, well, forever.

At times, you thought that it was kind of a punishment for wanting to die after you learnt that Mitchell fell during the War. You wished to be dead, to see him once again, and perhaps your wish was granted. Only in some twisted, cruel way.

You don’t know. But you wish you did. It would make your stay as a ghost much more bearable.

“Y/N, you’re doing it again,” Annie remarks gently, looking at you with a mix of worry and fondness. You force a tight smile and stop toying with your engagement ring, turning your eyes at her.

“Sorry. I only want to know what’s keeping me here. For a moment, I thought that maybe my fiancé survived and they mistakenly assumed he was dead because the entire unit fell,” you shrug, with a bitter expression on your face. “But I know it’s not true. I would’ve seen him, he would’ve found a way to let me know.”

“You loved him?” Annie asks, although it sounds more like a statement, like a fact.

You nod.

“I still do. Nothing can change it.”

Annie opens her mouth to reply but her attention is suddenly drawn elsewhere. She furrows her brows in confusion as she stares at something outside, her full lips pursed.

“What’s the matter, love?” you ask, turning your head to see what caused her such a shock.

“They’re invading my house,” she states coldly and for a brief moment you want to burst into laughter at how deadly it sounds.

“Annie, you’re dead. The house is no longer yours.”

“I know, Y/N, but how am I supposed to stay there where two blokes are moving in?”

“Maybe they’re friendly?”

“Ghost-friendly? Nope, I don’t think so.”

“They won’t see you,” you roll your eyes but Annie only grimaces, giving you a stern look.

“But I will see them. I don’t want to look at some sweaty, strange men walking around my house as if they own it-“

“They’re renting, Annie. And calm down, you can scare them away,” you wink at her, prompting a small smile to spread on her face. She exhales and you can see that she’s settled down, a mischievous gleam in her eyes giving away that she’s already plotting something.

“I can help you if you want to get rid of them fast.”

“You’re a great friend, Y/N, thank you!” she exclaims cheerfully, clapping her hands. You smile widely, hoping that a bit of spooking will take your mind off of dwelling on your past.

_____

The following day you are waiting outside Annie’s house for a sign from her. She visited you earlier that day, telling you that as soon as new residents would be out, the two of you would start planning how to scare them away. Your ‘to-go’ list usually includes moving various objects and ‘ooo’-ing at people. Surprisingly, it still works, despite rather common belief that ghost are not real.

Well, you are, you only got used to living alongside people and given that most ordinary folks did not see you, it was quite easy task.

You look up when a squeaking of a window rings and Annie waves at you to come inside. You slide in, promptly taking a seat in an armchair and Annie runs down the stairs with an elated grin on her face.

“They can see me!”

“What?! How?” you frown, straightening your back as Annie collapses on the couch.

“One of them is a vampire and the other is a werewolf. Supernatural beings see each other, right?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“So, I’ve got new friends! I can’t wait till you meet them, they’re so nice!”

“Well, I’m glad it turned out that way,” you give Annie a smile, although there is a bit of sadness, tightening in your stomach. She’s going to leave you behind, now that she’s living with two boys, most likely around her age. You’re an old woman, even if you died at a young age.

Annie keeps rambling about how happy she is and how exciting it will be to have somebody who can see her and interact with her. You’re happy for her, of course you are, but you’re also jealous. Why do all good stuff happen to people around you but not you? You didn’t get to marry the man you love, you didn’t get to even live your life after that. Even as a ghost, you weren’t important to anyone, you haven’t found anyone worth staying with and now Annie, a girl you thought would remain your friend for a longer while, found someone more fitting. By accident, but why do accidents seem to miss you?

“Y/N, you’re going to love them! I’m sure we’ll all be great friends and we can finally talk to more people. Isn’t it wonderful?”

“It is, Annie, but don’t you think I’m too old?”

“Are you joking right now? That vampire guy is like a hundred years old and he’s so funny! All charming and flirty, I think you’ll like him. And George, the werewolf, he’s so kind and sweet.”

“They sound nice, indeed,” you admit and smile with relief as you realize that Annie didn’t mean to cross you out. It’s good to know that she still wants you to be a part of her life.

You hear the front door unlocking and your head jerks in that direction, anticipation filling your body. You didn’t see any of the guys well yesterday so you’re eager to finally meet them.

Heavy footsteps can be heard and in next second a figure comes to a view and you quite literally freeze when your eyes lock with the last person you expected to see.

Mitchell, your Mitchell is standing the room, looking at you as if he can’t believe you’re actually here. You’d say he’s looking as if he saw a ghost but being that you are one…

His jaw drops and you’re rising from your seat, taking a hesitant step towards him.

“John?” you ask, your voice shaking. He gasps when he hears your voice and only nods his head, in one fluid motion sweeping you into his arms.

You sob as you wrap your arms around his neck, nuzzling your face against his, relishing in the sensation of being held by him once again. You’ve missed him, you’ve missed him so much you have a hard time believing that he is really here, that you didn’t make him up.

“You’re a ghost? Y/N, my darling, I’m so sorry…” he whispers, his voice broken, too and when you pull away to look at him, you notice that his cheeks are wet.

You move your hands to cup his face and Mitchell squeezes out a smile.

“I died a year after the war. There weren’t enough medications and I had a pneumonia…”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t come back. My battalion fell and I was approached by a man called Herrick. He was a vampire, he turned me and I… you wouldn’t welcome me as a monster, sweetheart, I couldn’t bring myself to put you in a danger of being with me.”

“You’re a fool, John Mitchell,” you pant, placing a chaste kiss on his lips and Mitchell chuckles.

“A man in love is a fool, indeed.”

“You still-“

“I’m still madly in love with you, silly. Will you have me back?”

“The ring you gave me is still on my finger. Is it enough of an answer?”

“It is, yes,” he says and presses his lips to yours, kissing you passionately and you mold into him, for a moment forgetting about the whole world. You’ve got your second chance, Mitchell’s came back to you and it’s all that matters.

A cough behind you makes you pull away from Mitchell and you reluctantly do so only to be met with Annie’s twinkling eyes.

“Alright, so I am going to be at your place, Y/N and you two have your reunion. Only not too loud, walls are thick here,” she winks at you before disappearing.

“Kids these days,” Mitchell deadpans and you giggle, bringing him to your lips again, keen to use the privacy to its fullest.

You’re not going to let him go easily this time.

#mitchell #mitchell x reader #john mitchell #john mitchell x reader #x reader #reader instert #being human uk #beinghumanfic

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emma-what-son · 7 years

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Emma Watson: I've always said, 'forget the engagement ring, build me a library!'

From Independent.ie March 2017: She's playing "a Disney princess gone rogue", but after the backlash to that photo shoot, actress Emma Watson is walking a carefully plotted line between art and politics. Here, our reporter meets the guarded Beauty and the Beast star.

"Dan brought such a tenderness and dry humour to Beast, which made him all the more relatable," she gushes. He responds with an equally fawning: "Emma's chief motivation was being able to tell the kind of messages that are pertinent across generations. Not just about wearing Belle's yellow dress."

The largely sycophantic back and forth continues with words on Emma's immeasurable kindness and Dan's boundless generosity. There are tales of Steven's "hair-raising" adventures on stilts to achieve Beast's height, and Emma comparing her singing to legendary off-key chanteuse Florence Foster Jenkins, played by Meryl Streep in last year's eponymous biopic. How watching Katharine Hepburn screwball comedies provided huge inspiration for their characters.

Altogether, it's a perfect puff exercise in promotional Hollywood chit-chat orchestrated by Watson's team of rigid representatives.

Before today's audience with the former Harry Potter graduate, journalists had to sign a clause-filled contract. The immovable interview terms demanded no personal questions of any kind; no questions about her background; no mention of La La Land (Watson reportedly turned down Emma Stone's Oscar-winning role). Basically nothing beyond the fairy tale.

There were no such conditions for talking to former Downton Abbey star Stevens.

Now, "no personal questions" is a frequent request delivered by the movie PR folk but usually comes as a verbal, quiet warning not to venture down the path of messy divorce or criminal activity.

A binding contract this inflexible, however, is something else entirely - something I have never encountered before.

'Brand Watson' is a carefully master- minded machine: one which boasts nearly 50million social media followers. Unfortunately for the 26-year-old star, a grey area exists between her unrelenting, admirable crusade for gender equality and her acting career.

In playing Belle in the €150million live-action revamp of the childhood classic, Watson has intentionally blended her politics with her art. The feminist campaigner has become a Disney princess. Which, in promotional discussion, invariably forces her to reveal herself, just a little.

"Innately at the centre of Beauty and the Beast was this heroine who went against the crowd, marched to the beat of her own drum," Watson tells me. "Fearlessly independent-minded, defiant. Nothing around her is affirming her choices. She's incredibly curious and learned and does things her own way. And I connected with her sense of defiance. She's a Disney princess gone rogue.

"I watched a lot of films as a young woman that I felt gave me less choices and constricted me, as opposed to making me feel that the world was limitless and possibilities were endless. And I also knew how important Belle is as a symbol because of how important she was to me as a young girl. She was my idol - my own personal heroine - so I know how important it was to get it right."

Getting Belle right in 2017 is indeed important, lest it jeopardise the work that Watson has done - and the reputation she has built as an intellectual and feminist crusader - previously.

Her public campaign for equality began with an impassioned address in front of the UN in the summer of 2014, heralding the HeForShe campaign, which calls for men to advocate for gender equality. In speaking out, the actor became both a symbol and a target. And her words and actions are now microscopically scrutinised as a result. For example, that same year, her criticism of fellow feminist Beyoncé's music videos for the Lemonade album - which Watson said in an interview exhibited a "very male voyeuristic experience" - was met with overwhelming backlash. Those quotes were resurrected this month when Watson's own shoot for Vanity Fair featured a photo (below) of her with her breasts partly exposed.

In the furore that followed, Watson was forced to defend the photograph. "It just always reveals to me how many misconceptions and what a misunderstanding there is about what feminism is," she said in an interview with news agency Reuters.

"Feminism is about giving women choice. Feminism is not a stick with which to beat other women. It's about freedom; it's about liberation; it's about equality. I really don't know what my t**s have to do with it. It's very confusing." It's left Watson wedged firmly between a rock and a hard place. And today, when I push her on that difficult position (and much to the horror of her stern publicist), she delivers an uncharacteristically human response.

"To be that public about my opinions and feelings, you can't say something like that and not walk the walk. If you're going to do that, well, I have to live by this. And taking a stance on things doesn't make life easier - it definitely makes things more complicated."

She pauses for thought, perhaps sensing a vulnerability to her words that she then attempts to counter. "You know, the battles I fought and I fight make what I do feel much more worthwhile and it gives me much more of a sense of purpose. And I'm glad that I get actively involved. But it's not easy. Ultimately, I follow my heart because that's all I can do."

There's no doubting that Beauty and the Beast is a passion project for Watson. Directed by Bill Condon - the man behind Dreamgirls and Chicago - the lavish epic is a beautiful spectacle, largely modelled on the 1992 classic, the first animation to receive a Best Picture Oscar nomination. Alongside Stevens and a starry cast including Ewan McGregor as Lumière, Emma Thompson as Mrs Potts and Ian McKellen as Cogsworth, Watson shimmers as Belle, the wayward outsider, stifled by her insular village surrounds.

When she stumbles on the Beast's castle where her father, played by Kevin Kline, is imprisoned, she sacrifices herself and takes his place. She soon learns that Beast and his servants are cursed by a spell which can only be broken by true love.

"It's literally your childhood fantasy," Watson explains, in her signature clipped tones. "I watched that film with a sense of wonderment probably a thousand times, much to the annoyance of my parents. And to actually be in that dress, riding Philippe [the horse], to be wandering around that beautiful castle set, it was amazing. I also felt an immense responsibility. While it was me playing the role, there's a huge pressure because Belle - she's an archetype, she's a symbol, she's every girl. If I do my job well, she belongs to everyone, not just to me."

Watson claims that much modernisation was needed to bring the new version up to date. "The original was released in 1992; now it's 2017: things have moved on a lot from then. I think the film would fall flat if they didn't speak to the times we're in now."

Director Bill Condon says Watson (who today is clad in a monochrome bustier and trousers by Carmen March, one of the many ethically sourced outfits worn for the Beauty promotional tour and documented on her new Instagram page, @the_press_tour) was at the heart of Belle's feminist reinvention.

"She was involved in everything having to do with Belle's environment and costumes. She was so meticulous in the meaning of every costume change, about wearing the appropriate boots and about the dress she wears in the village having pockets.

"Also, Belle was as much an inventor as her father, which was hinted at in the animation. Here we have her doing her own calculations. Emma suggested we could do more with her alone in her own specific world, which led to a washing machine in a well. That was all Emma."

Belle's love of literature is something Watson was also keen to play up. And small wonder, since she founded an online feminist book club, Our Shared Shelf, which boasts nearly 175,000 members. "When Belle enters Beast's library, that's not just her dream - that's mine," Watson says. "I love how she swings along on those wheelie ladders, climbing these elevated storeys of books. And, you know, I've always said, stuff the engagement ring! Just build me a really big library."

For both Stevens and Watson, Beauty and the Beast marks an opportunity to finally eclipse their signature roles in Downton and Harry Potter, respectively. Do they relish that thought?

Her publicist's nostrils flare slightly, while Watson shyly squirms in her seat. Stevens, however, gratefully responds.

"It's certainly not a burden," he says. "Downton changed my life and I know [Harry Potter] changed Emma's. The privilege of that and to carry forward with roles like this adds to the canon."

"And Emma?" I ask. She hesitates slightly. It's a perplexing display for a question so tame. "I think that I just feel really lucky. For me, Belle was my childhood heroine; [the film] came out two days after I was born. And then, in my early teens, it was about idolising Hermione. So to be given the chance to play my two childhood idols is probably a very unique and rare experience for an actress.

"And I think," she continues, "I think I came out of this with more confidence, with more skills. And more belief in myself. Because when I came off Potter and decided to go to university, that wasn't a career decision the people I worked with were pleased about. But I kind of… I try to stay true to whatever whisper I'm getting from myself and I hope that will see me through. That's all I can do really. Otherwise, if I don't listen to myself, I'd feel a bit lost in it all."

Difficult to imagine Emma Watson, the twentysomething movie mogul and ambassador for human rights, feeling lost. And given the rigorous conditions attached to today's interview, one could easily question whether these humble claims are just part of the act.

Meeting the star today, however, it seems that, under the shiny veneer and terse brand control, lies a grounded spirit and decent human being trying to do some good. Hopefully, she'll stay the course as a campaigner and not become a total princess.

#interview

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doomedandstoned · 7 years

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Life Disintegrates

A Chat with Goya's Jeff Owens

~Interview and Concert Pics by Leanne Ridgeway~

Before we get to the new tidbits, how are you and how are you digging the new Goya line-up?

Hey! Things are going great. We just got done with a short hiatus from shows to record our new album, and we’re getting back into the swing of things. I started Goya when I was in a different band, because I wanted to do something a little heavier and a lot slower. Nick joined a couple of years later and Sonny joined up last year. The first time I met Nick was actually the first time he came to jam with us. Sonny had filled in at short notice on a tour with us in 2014, and we’re very happy to have him as a mainstay, finally. It’s been a long time coming.

For several releases you’ve worked with Laney Oleniczak in creating album artwork -- all gorgeous collaborations, by the way. Are there other artists whose work you drawn inspiration from?

Yeah, Laney did a great job on the Nothin’ but Dead Stuff 7” and Obelisk. Nothin’ but Dead Stuff is definitely one of my favorite covers of ours.

Hunter Hancock has been instrumental in crafting the imagery of Goya. He painted the cover for 777, and designed one of our earliest and best-selling t-shirts. We enlisted his artistic talent once again to do all of the art and layout for Harvester of Bongloads, which was definitely the right choice.

As far as other artists, there are honestly too many out there to put in a concise list. If I had my druthers, we would have Skinner and Arik Roper doing artwork for us. Maybe one day!

Last October, Goya self-released a battering four-song EP Doomed Planet through your own label, Opoponax Records, along with three other releases -- all in 2016 -- and now the new LP, Harvester of Bongloads, which just released. How much pressure do you put on yourselves to record new music?

We’re always trying to move forward. Usually, by the time we have a release out, we already have three or four new songs we’re working on for the next one. Honestly, this is the first time that hasn’t happened. We literally have zero new material at the moment. There’s still a chance that that will change, though!

All that being said, we don’t really put pressure on ourselves, per se; we just work on new material as it comes. I think we all (“we all” being musicians) probably enjoy working on new music the most, so that’s the main pressure. We just want to keep having fun.

Harvester Of Bongloads by Goya

Do you and the other guys have a disciplined method for writing new material or do new songs grow fluently from a jam session?

I am a songwriter at heart, so usually I have everything pretty fleshed out by the time I bring it to the band. Sometimes I’ll even record demos on my own and send them out. Things do tend to take on a life of their own, of course, when other minds get involved, which is great. I suck at drums, so when I record drums for a demo, there are a lot of things I can’t do. And with the bass, Sonny and I have a similar bass style, but he definitely plays some things differently than I would, so it really helps to create a sound that is nothing like what I would have done on my own. Now that the band is caught up with where I’m at writing for the first time ever, I’m excited to see where things go!

What do you personally consider to be the most insightful moments while writing and recording Harvester of Bongloads, and what is your favorite moment on the album?

To be honest, I think that there is a lot about this record that is the most dumbed-down, primitive version of Goya, so I’m not sure there is a moment that I can consider to be extremely insightful. One thing I can say is that "Omen" took four years to write and it only truly started to come together in the month or two before we hit the studio.

We were still tweaking things on that tune in the studio, in fact. There is a lot of that song that is very different from the way we were playing it a year ago, and it is much better for it. Originally, the bass and drums were doing the exact same thing the guitar is doing in the beginning of the song, and it was super boring. I have some demos of it, and I cringe when I listen to them.

At one point, I talked to Sonny and told him that he should write a more engaging bassline, one that Nick could write a drum part to. Once they got their parts together, it allowed me even more freedom in my part. Then I started to write additional parts that went with some of the stuff they had added to the song.

The lesson there is that a three-piece is best when everyone is doing their own thing that is engaging, but still goes with what the other two are doing. I hesitate to call that insightful, because it’s sort of a, “Well yeah, duh!” statement.

As far as a favorite song, I think we all like “Disease” the most, though I really enjoy the “Fade Away” section of “Omen,” as it’s the only time we’ve done something like that so far.

Back to the Opoponax Records label, for a minute. Would you share the story on why you started our own label? How do you balance the scale in being both the owner of a music business and a musician? Is it easier or more frustrating to be the one in control of the result?

There isn’t much of a story to why I started the label, honestly. It was out of necessity. I wanted 777 to come out on vinyl. I looked into how much it would cost, realized I could afford it at the time, and started Opoponax Records.

Opoponax is a really small operation, so it’s not too difficult to manage. I don’t even think of myself as a business owner, to be honest. I still have a day job, and that is the most difficult thing to balance in the equation. The hardest thing about balancing Opoponax and Goya is worrying that an unruly customer is a Goya fan. I’m sure fellow record label guys will know what I’m talking about when I say that some customers can be rather difficult and demanding. I’m kind of a take-no-shit type of person, but I also want to keep people happy, especially if they’re fans. That being said, when someone is being a real asshole, I’m not going to cave in to their bullshit, and I imagine that makes Goya lose some fans here and there.

There are obviously things that are easier and things that are harder in taking care of a release 100% on my own. Overall, I think it’s easier, as I enjoy retaining control over the art and packaging as it is. We’ve had some stellar-looking releases come out from other labels that I’m very grateful for, but to say that everything has always gone 100% smoothly with them would be a lie. We’re definitely on good terms with every label we have worked with, but there is always some level of compromise when you work with a label. Whether or not the compromise is worth it always comes down to what the label can offer that I can’t do myself.

At this point in the game, I feel that I can do anything the labels we have worked with so far can, but I am hopeful that the next Goya record (whenever that happens) will be with someone who can bring something new to the table.

Opoponax Records also just released their first non-Goya record with the new Toke 12”. Do you plan to expand the label’s distribution roster or was this a one-time thing?

It wasn’t a one-time thing. I have a Grey Gallows release coming out this year, as well (hopefully in April). However, I am very picky about what I will put out, mostly because I can’t afford to do much. I started this label to release Goya records, so I have to make sure that nothing I put out is going to hold up the Goya release schedule. 2017 is already booked solid, in terms of what I’m putting out, and I’ve had to turn down a few people.

I actually just turned down a release today that I would have loved to do, simply because it would have held them up for a long time. Nobody wants their record put out a fucking year from the day they make an agreement!

I’ve wanted to run a record label since I was young, and I’m finally doing it. I hope things continue to go well and I’m able to sustain this for years to come! Perhaps one day, Goya will be on a better label, and I’ll be able to put out only other bands.

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Goya is heading out shortly for an “East Coast Weekend Disaster” tour with Aneurysm, Toke, and several other bands (which us North Eastern people are thrilled about, by the way). What are your touring plans beyond these dates?

We have a West Coast tour this month. Other than that, that’s all we are really able to talk about. We definitely plan on hitting it harder this year than we have before and harder every following year.

What’s been the best show you’ve play so far with Goya?

Psycho Las Vegas, hands down. Crowd response played a huge part in that. There really is nothing like being in a room full of people that are all there to have a good time, and are really enjoying themselves. When the crowd has energy, it’s really easy to feed off of that energy, and it helps our performance a lot. The Vinyl stage at Hard Rock Hotel is a killer venue, as well, and we had people running sound that did a terrific job. We’re so grateful that we were afforded that opportunity. We would be more than happy to do it again any time.

What about the worst, or the strangest, experience you’ve had at one of your own shows?

Hmm, probably a show with Slow Season in Tucson at The Bashful Bandit. That was a few years ago and surely the show would do better now with both bands playing there, but it was a total ghost town, and felt kind of awkward. We really like Slow Season, though, so at least we got to hang out with them and watch them play! Always a pleasure. Get back at us in a few years and we’ll probably have a worse story!

On a personal note, I know you’ve made the choice, somewhat recently, to go sober. Many folks find that a difficult thing to maintain, particularly in the music industry and the "stoner rock" realm. How has this lifestyle change affected your perspective on your music and goals for Goya or Opoponax Records?

It honestly hasn’t affected those things much. Before I quit smoking, I had already decided that we were going to make Harvester our last weed-worship album, but also make it our best one. I have a desire for things to mature. That desire is evident on Obelisk, where there is not a single drug reference. Another thing that has changed is the Opoponax Records weed-a-gram logo. But, again, that is something that I had already wanted to change back when I was still smoking, so it really is all coincidental timing.

I went sober during a bad breakup. I was absolutely crushed and incapacitated for about three days, and it was the first three days I had been sober in a while, so I figured I would just ride it out. I say “sober,” but I really was only smoking weed. I’ve never been a legitimate addict. I just realized that I was always irritable when I couldn’t smoke, mostly because I love smoking so much, so I figured that if I cut it out entirely, I wouldn’t be as irritable. The jury’s still out on that one, to be honest. I think I’m just a pissed off dude, in general.

If funds were no object and Goya had their pick of active bands to play with, where have you always wanted to play and who are the bands you want in the lineup?

Roadburn is probably at the top of that list. Touring that whole area of the world is definitely a goal. There are so many bands it would be great to play with, big and small. High on Fire, Valkyrie, Metallica, Sleep, Ozzy, Baroness, Soundgarden, Iron Maiden, Orchid, and on and on.

How do you think venues, labels, and bands could work better together to get a solid crowd turnout and record/merchandise sales?

As far as labels, just promotion in general. Strong internet presence seems to be the name of the game right now. For bands, I think just doing your best all of the time with everything you do, as though every time you play your instrument, it will be the last time, because one of those times, it definitely will be!

What is the most important thing a newer band should do to get themselves heard?

Put out an album on vinyl, and contact as many blogs as possible with a free digital copy and all of the release info.

Massive thanks, Jeff, for taking a few moments to visit with the Doomed & Stoned readers -- and, of course, to Goya for kicking our eardrums into oblivion! Parting words?

Don’t let people waste your time.

Follow The Band.

Get Their Music.

Goya On Tour

If you’re lucky enough to be where Goya is playing, get your ass to a show!

March 9th – The Flycactcher - Tucson, AZ March 10th – Yucca Taproom - Phoenix, AZ March 11th – Soda Bar - San Diego, CA March 12th – Complex - Glendale, CA March 13th – Elbo Room - San Francisco, CA March 15th – High Water Mark - Portland, OR March 16th – Funhouse - Seattle, WA March 17th – The Shredder - Boise, ID March 18th – Club X - Salt Lake City, UT March 19th – Beauty Bar – Las Vegas, NV March 20th – The Green Room – Flagstaff, AZ

#D&S Interviews #Jeff Owens #Goya #Phoenix #Arizona #Doom #Metal #Opoponax Records #Leanne Ridgeway #Elizabeth Gore #Doomed & Stoned

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healthandfitnessrecipes-blog · 6 years

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GGS Spotlight: Jaya Dixit

https://healthandfitnessrecipes.com/?p=8303

Name: Jaya Dixit Age: 35 Location: Calgary, AB (Treaty 7 Indigenous territory)

What does it mean to you to be part of the GGS Community? I want to be part of a movement — a collective of powerful and change-seeking women who want a better world, and who embrace strength training as a metaphor for so many other things in life and society. Women in this group are truly showing up for one another — with advice, empathy, humor, inspiration, constructive discussion, and solidarity.

Like anyone else, I’ve faced and am still facing my fair share of challenges (injury, weird ideas about body image and training intensity, etc.), but I really see GGS as a brave space for support, evidence-based information and progressive ideas around the infinite number of ways a woman be can “be” in the world.

The more I learn and feel my way through the strength and fitness space (online and in real life), the more I realize the value of this community for normalizing challenges and pushing forward complex conversations. What can’t women achieve when we come together?

How long have you been strength training, and how did you get started? My first steps in to a “real” gym were at age 15. I was becoming more serious about sport (field hockey), and I had a great friend who showed me around the gym, shared great knowledge about basics, and encouraged me to explore that physical edge. Within few years, I was shifting from strictly-for-fun movement into more sports-driven training. Being a student-athlete brought opportunities to train with great CSCSs, and to test my mettle.

Twenty years later, my body and my movement look really different, because, so does my life! A lot of my journey through strength work since then has been a process of un-learning that unrelenting, regimented way of training, and making more space for instinct and fun along the way.

What does your typical workout look like? Right now, my singular focus is to rehabilitate and rebuild my body, eight months after giving birth for the third time. Nothing feels better and more important than taking the opportunity to re-evaluate and improve every foundational motion, right down to (and especially) breathing with integrity to power those movements.

This just involves asking myself a simple question: “What would make me feel awesome today?” Lately that looks like invigorating hill walks, climbing a huge staircase to a fabulous rocky mountain vista (the other kind of “Stairway to Heaven”), or doing some deep water fitness in a warm therapy pool. Six months ago, my typical workout consisted of three 10-minute walks around my neighbourhood. I’m thrilled with where I am at, and excited for where I’m headed!

After so many years of using food and training in ways that did not make me happier, healthier or more in touch with my spirit, I’m finally in this cool mental space where I’m through with chasing a particular body shape or workout. I’m all about chasing the great workout feelings — the movement that gets me there naturally fits where I am at. If and when I take up heavy lifting again, I want all of my fundamentals to be rock solid.

Favorite lifts: Clean and press, goblet squats, chin-ups.

Most memorable PR: Other than birthing three beautiful, healthy humans? I’d have to go with maxing out at 13 proper chin-ups one year at training camp.

Top 5 songs on your training playlist:

Bad Girls, MIA

Rock the Casbah, The Clash

Rebellion, Arcade Fire

Vicarious, Tool

Human After All, Daft Punk

Top 3 things you must have at the gym or in your gym bag: My whole exercise experience is really stripped down. When I’m lifting, I often train in my basement, where just some chalk, water, oxygen and grit do me just fine.

Favorite meal: I love leftover salads. This is a kind of jumbled up meal made by mixing up the better-next-day leftovers, throwing them over some crunchy greens, and drizzling over a fresh dressing that just lifts and enhances every latent flavour to a new level. Bonus points if there is any kind of crispy potato involved.

Favorite way to treat yourself: Late-night baking in the company of a fantastic playlist.

Favorite quote:

“The moment we choose to love, we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. That action is the testimony of love as the practice of freedom.” — bell hooks

Favourite book: Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa.

What inspires and motivates you? Older folks! I absolutely love sharing fitness spaces with seniors. They’re some of the most committed, sustainable movers out there. So many of them show up with the most beautiful balance of serious and fun. They don’t take any of this fitness stuff too seriously, but they are incredible role models to me — people who move for the joy and privilege of moving!

What do you do? I have three sweet little humans, so my primary work is to love, nurture and care for them.

My paid work draws on my education is in political science and sociology, and training in conflict resolution. I work as an advisor to graduate students facing complex or difficult issues that impact their academic success or progress. It is such privilege to meet with and support students from all of the world.

I also keep one toe in the research world, contributing to qualitative (mostly sociological) research about (visual) discourses of health and food, and projects of self-improvement.

What else do you do? Raising three little kids in a town just a stone’s throw from the Rocky Mountains means snatching up every chance to escape to mountain summits, glacial waters, and explore winter wonderlands.

Your next training goal: Increasing the vigor of my movement! I’m loving the exercise I’m doing right now, and I am slowly and steadily working my way toward lifting closer to my threshold in the next year or two. Six months ago, my threshold was just a dozen or two minutes of walking every day. Today, I’m stretching back into a regular yoga practice, treading up ever steeper inclines, and exploring where “what feels good today?” will take me.

For what are you most grateful? The sheer, dumb luck of being born into an amazing family, in a great country.

Of what life accomplishment do you feel most proud? Re-discovering my curiosity. Talking comes naturally to me, but listening — real, soulful, engaged listening — is something I have been cultivating with great intention and purpose in the past few years. I am always striving to be a more patient, empathetic listener, but to take in words and the world without judgment or assumption has brought me a sense of connection to people, with whom I might have otherwise felt completely at odds.

Which three words best describe you? Striving. Empathetic. Optimistic.

How has lifting weights changed your life? We face resistance and challenges, no matter the path we walk. Strength training is a perfect venue to practice coming face to face with all kinds of big stuff: transformation, resistance, power, breath and heart, and (dis)belief. That amazing sensation of transcending an imagined limitation — pushing or pulling something heavier than you believed possible — talk about feeling transformed!

Now that I’ve experience that sensation, I feel that I’ve stepped into this awesome alternate dimension, and suddenly anything feels possible. This whole physical practice is a moving metaphor, and even abstaining from exercise during periods of injury has taught me so much you can learn and grow during seasons of rest and stillness. Some of my greatest lessons in self-love and acceptance have come from necessary breaks from the iron.

Lifting and moving gives me the space and chance to turn every contrived dichotomy inside out, and upside down.

You can push against weight, or you can push into it. You can master something outside of your own body, but struggle against the body itself. It’s such an amazing metaphor for how we can lean in — just enough to keep something in motion, but still assert something powerful.

Kettlebells in particular are amazing to think of as an extension of the body — they aren’t something to work against, but through. When I think of the implement (barbell, dumbbell, etc.) as an extension of my own body moving in space, notions of separateness, division, antagonism, conflict become illusions, and resistance fades into flow.

What’s the coolest “side effect” you’ve experienced from strength training? To move the body against resistance (water, gravity, iron, itself), is to train the mind, heart and body to face resistance in life — and ultimately, to decide how you want to show up in those moments. I’ve encountered dark corners and bright lights within myself, come face to face with demons, traveled to a brighter brain space. Those moments when you go beyond yourself and what you know — so much movement through such a small range of motion.

The most practical application of these awesome side effects was childbirth! Years of strength training gave me the tools to commit to work and rest across contractions (functional interval training!), to keep my mind still, my will strong and my belief in myself absolute.

What do you want to say to other women who might be nervous or hesitant about strength training? Strength training has really facilitated (for me) a mindset and a zone that challenges every bogus stereotype about women and sets the stage for us to create a new narrative of strength, power, grace, integrity, mastery, and individuality. You get to decide how, when, why, what, where and with whom.

Moving your body in the way that best expresses you — your abilities, strengths, passions, moods — is a radical act of self-determination.

It is a way to re-possess your rights: to define your gender, to freedom of movement, and joy, health and strength on your own terms.

The post GGS Spotlight: Jaya Dixit appeared first on Girls Gone Strong.

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marcellemus015-blog · 6 years

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9 Causes You Want More LinkedIn Connections

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Yes, he might use my help. Engagement fee is a beneficial metric to help determine the quality and success of your social media messaging, because it provides an indicator as to how interesting or helpful the message was to your audience. When tele-prospecting efforts are concerned, we work carefully with the gross sales workforce to track outcomes and evaluate appointment-setting success rates with LinkedIn-engaged prospects versus those that will not be engaged on LinkedIn. If they aren't able to do business yet, they're very likely to refer you to someone who's. The metrics I’ve listed are simply the beginning. Tag your Posts. Select three tags which can be most associated to your article content material. Want some ideas for easy methods to format your posts in order that they get extra engagement? I try to limit my articles to 1 subject, even when they might embody two to five suggestions revolving around that subject.

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fitono · 6 years

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10 Tips for Training Clients in Recovery

I’m a trainer who works with dozens of clients who are in recovery. I’m also a recovering alcoholic and addict who, before becoming a trainer, was one of those clients.

Since I’ve been on both sides, I can tell you two things with near-certainty:

At some point in your career, you will work with a client in recovery, if you haven’t already.

You can expect your work with this population to feel different from your work with clients who’ve never been trapped in the abject insanity of addiction.

Here are 10 ways to help these clients get the best results.

1. Abandon the Moderation-or-Bust Approach to Wellness

Addicts like me tend to take an all-or-nothing approach to everything we do. So when we leave behind addictive substances and destructive behaviors, it’s not unheard of for us to go overboard with the good stuff—exercise, healthy eating, even 12-step meetings—especially when we’re first getting sober.

As with any other disadvantaged population, you’ve got to be willing to work with us as we are.

While daily double doses of meetings, combined with two-hour workouts and strict South Beach adherence, isn’t ideal or sustainable, insisting we tone down or moderate our newfound health-focused obsessions may do more harm than good.

Instead, help us keep moving forward for as long as we can.

Then, if we burn out, help us laugh it off while we search for a more sustainable approach to this whole healthy-living thing.

2. Rethink Rewards

“Meet your cardio goal three days this week, and then reward yourself!” might sound motivating to you, but to a recovering client it makes cardio like a B.S. obligation.

Why does that matter? Because when he was still trapped in addiction, life felt like a B.S. obligation, and the reward for tolerating it was the drink, hit, or fix after all the boxes were checked.

In recovery, many of us discover that the satisfaction and pleasures of living well are the greatest reward. The same goes for exercise. Help your client focus on the mental and physical peace and empowerment he feels after a solid strength-training session. Help him notice and appreciate the deep pleasure that only exercise can bring.

Do that, and your client will have an easier time developing a fitness habit for life. (Hell, this isn’t bad advice for any client, recovering or not.)

3. Table the Long-Term Goals

Ever wonder why the recovery slogan “one day at a time” helps people stay sober? It’s because we can’t fathom making difficult, loving, consistent decisions for a week, never mind for the rest of our lives. So we focus on what we need to do today. We’ll worry about tomorrow when it gets here.

Trainers, of course, make our living by helping clients achieve long-term goals like weight loss or increased strength. But neither goal can be met today. Since today is the only time frame a client in recovery feels she can manage, help her focus on the goals she can meet before bedtime.

The long-term payoffs will accumulate the way everything else does: one day at a time.

4. Remind Her What She’s Capable Of

Maintaining an exercise habit can be harder than showing up for work after a Vegas weekend, especially for a client who’s juggling all the trappings of an engaged, sober life. Odds are, she can handle 30 minutes a day of training, but she may need your help to feel like that’s true.

When she starts to doubt herself, remind her how hardcore she is: Not only did she survive a life-threatening addiction, she managed to pull herself out of it! She’s a living testament to the power of determination.

And now, on top of staying sober, she’s hitting the gym every day and cooking more meals at home? How awesome can one human be?

5. If He’s Open to a Daily Habit, Support It

When an addict breaks with a destructive daily pattern, there tends to be a huge hole in the fabric of his days. Meetings, therapy, and fellowship with others in recovery all help, but may not fill the hole completely. Many of us find exercise to be the perfect daily supplement to the work we do on our hearts and heads.

That’s hard for some trainers to accept. They’re used to clients who might be overwhelmed or scared away by the thought of training every day.

But if your recovering client wants to do it, be her cheerleader. Her full, sober life is bound to get in the way at some point, and she’ll likely end up doing three to five workouts a week anyway.

When that happens, again, help her laugh it off and keep going.

6. Spell Out Your Terms, and Stick to Them

You should always discuss your cancellation policy with a new client, along with any other terms you have. That goes double for a client in recovery.

Why?

Well, hold onto your seat, but we addicts are not always the most reliable grapes on the vine.

I recommend selling sessions in packages to encourage commitment, and being crystal clear about your strict cancellation policy. (Mine is 24 hours, no exceptions.) I use language in my welcome packet that anticipates no-shows and deals with them before they happen:

“Missed sessions or sessions cancelled with less than 24 hours’ notice are forfeited by the client, and will not be refunded or rescheduled. This policy is enforced 100 percent of the time, and should not be taken personally. Thank you for understanding.”

7. Be Honest

Addiction is a crash course in how to hide, lie, and manipulate. Because we’re so good at it ourselves, folks in recovery can sniff out B.S. from 100 yards away. Your client will know if you’re making promises that are too good to be true, and it will erode the trust she needs to maintain her half of the trainer-client relationship.

So instead of promising extreme weight loss, for example, talk up the sensual benefits of regular exercise—greater comfort, deeper sleep, more energy.

8. Share Your Experience, Strength, and Hope

As trainers, we sometimes shy away from revealing stories about ourselves that show our flaws. But for an addict in recovery, there’s no more powerful teaching tool than listening to someone who’s been low talk about how he brought himself back up.

If you’ve overcome your own battles—with obesity, depression, self-sabotage—don’t hesitate to open up to your client about it.

Don’t embellish (see #7), and don’t equate your disappointing semester abroad with her year in prison. But do open up about your struggles and how you overcame them. It’ll help her feel more connected to you, and inspired by you, than she might otherwise.

9. Recognize Your Own Limitations

As you get closer, your client may confide in you, and look to you for guidance, about issues beyond fitness—a relationship, a mental-health issue, or even a relapse. While you may feel honored, don’t feel you need to have all the answers.

Encourage her to reach out to her other support people, like a recovery sponsor or therapist.

10. Understand that Different Addictions Are Not Equally Destructive

Many addicts who put down the bottle, pipe, or pill turn around and pick up a doughnut, cigarette, or scratch ticket. While the latter three may be less dangerous than the crutches they replaced, they’re still not doing the addict any favors.

But this isn’t true of all addiction swaps. Getting hooked on recovery or fitness may not seem like a good idea, but the benefits are likely to far outweigh any potential problems.

If a client in recovery hires you because he wants to dive into the deep end, it’s not your job to temper his fire. Teach him the safest ways to get the best results.

Final Thoughts

I’ve done my best to share advice that I believe will apply to most people in recovery, no matter the substance they’re recovering from. In my experience, sober alcoholics and addicts tend to have a lot in common. But as with any population, you have to work with each client as an individual with unique strengths and weaknesses, using your best judgment when there’s no clear answer or path forward.

When in doubt, ask how you can be more supportive. You won’t meet many addicts who don’t appreciate the thought.

Review it again: Download and print our 10-point checklist for quick reference the next time you’re training clients in recovery (click the image below to download)

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