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#i know exactly what you're going through
marvus-xoloto · 2 years
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I don’t know if you’re taking requests but I just had my sister cut my long hair despite my gut telling me not to and I hate it and I feel so ugly , my hair is my comfort and was wondering if I could get a comfort fic with Mallek reassuring reader they’re not because I’m having a hard time convincing myself, I’ve been crying for like 2 hours now
i am always taking requests! It just takes me a while to write them sometimes lol ;-;
so sorry to hear about your hair <3 I hope this helps even a little bit! also sorry it took so long to post lol. i used this prompt as a warm up and forgot to post it
___
It was bound to happen sooner or later on Alternia: absolute disaster.
You like to think you'd made you peace with the idea. Brutality? Well, all trolls are bastards, you're used to it. Violence? It's just foreplay on Alternia, and these funky little ant people want you so bad it makes them look stupid. They better start calling you cordyceps 'cause you got these bitches going to lengths once they've got you on the brain. And drone strikes? All you have to say to that is: you've befriended worse. Murder clowns; weeaboos and gamers; a verified nice guy, even. Drones got nothing on a heated gamer moment.
So what gets you in the end... it's the overconfidence, surely. Your sudden courage; you think it happens with an "oops" or an "uh-oh."
The important part is: it happens at all.
Because here's the thing they don't tell you about Alternia: even you- with your pal-ietal lobe, your cerebell-chum, your god damn penchant for being just the friendliest little guy- are alone with me, myself, and I at the end of the night. All you've got is that dude in the mirror who only talks back when you're at your most sleep deprived.
And that dude in the mirror has one fucked up 'do.
Fuck.
___
The solution is obvious: you've fucked youself over with Occam's razor, may as well use it. Who else do you know has fucked up hair?
Well, all of your troll friends. Tagora especially comes to mind. But who else has intentionally fucked hair?
Mallek lets you into his hive without a word about your impending flop era.
It might be thanks to the hood drawn up over your head; thank god for Mallek's hoodie.
"What's up?" he asks. You're still learning to read him; his smirk never quite reaches his eyes, but then again, neither do any of his other expressions. "If you're planning on robbing the hood, I'd appreciate if you didn't display my sign." He flops down on his sofa, grabbing another slice of pizza and handing you the blue plastic plate as if your hands aren't shoved anxiously in your hoodie pocket. "Or at least rob something really cool and subversive. You know, flushed affirmation day is coming up-" it isn't, "-and I've always wanted a Namaaq original."
His desperate attempt to act like everything is cool means so much; you almost believe it, with his smudged eyeliner and his dichotomous face.
"Already stole everything I wanted," you say, sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch, pressing your fingers to his chest. It's a small comfort; his heart beats so slow where yours is beating in a near frantic state.
"Just the one? You know I've got about five more?"
"Hearts?"
He smirks again, but this time his eyes join the party with a little tilt-o-whirl and the light that comes with it. "Hoodies." He takes a bit of his pizza, chewing through a smile.
He gestures at you with his half-eaten slice. "So what's the deal tonight? Breaking and entering? Defamation of property?"
"Defamation of person, maybe," you say. And with a thrill of anxiety, you pull the hood down.
"Damn," he says. He chews down the crust. "You look fucked up."
Well, he didn't have to say it. Damn gamers and their blunt demeanors. Tears sting at your eyes; maybe this was a mistake.
Mallek looks suddenly very distressed, running his hand through his own hair and eyes wide. "Fuck, I didn't mean it like that." He's panicking now, which at least is endearing enough that you can momentarily shove aside your upset. He looks around wildly, before handing you another slice of pizza. Another blue plastic plate. His white flag, his peace offering.
"Help," you say, in a tiny, mousey voice. Because it's the only thing you can say without falling to pieces.
___
It takes some manoevering, three more slices of pizza, and a few paragraphs of skipped exposition before you're sat in Mallek's gamer chair, with Mallek's hands in your hair, and Mallek's razor buzzing away behind you.
It's terrifying; hasn't your look suffered enough?
"You're going to get my hair stuck in all the noo- crevices," you catch yourself just in time.
"Yeah, well I've got a fan."
"Human hair is finer than troll hair."
"Heh. Got a leafblower, too."
"Do you really?"
"Yeah." You turn around in his chair to really look at him, give him a hard left face to the face. "Really," he repeats emphatically. "How do you think I got around before I saved up enough allowance for a hoverboard?" He jerks his horns to one of several piles of junk that litter his hive. You wouldn't have seen it if he hadn't pointed it out; a leafblower connected to both a skateboard AND a flamethrower. That is indeed Alternia's stupidest- and, possibly, deadliest- private transportation.
You're shocked. "Does it work?"
He scoffs. "Does it work? Do you feel any hair in those crevices?" He kicks at the seat; several meals worth of crumbs rain down.
You do, regretfully, find yourself suddenly aware of tiny bits of your cut hair in your own crevices. You wonder if he'll let you take a shower, or if he's going to try to prove a point with that leafblower.
"Your deflecting," he says, grabbing you by the top of your head and straightening you out. He clicks on the razor and you must visabley tense, because his hand on your head goes suddenly tender. "What's the big deal? I've been cutting my own hair for sweeps."
"What if I look stupid?"
"Do I look stupid to you?" He fluffs up his hair with his off hand, looking like the world's sexiest cockatiel.
There's silence between you. Mallek's face is so transparently pleading with you: please laugh, please feel better.
"It's just..." you trail off, fiddling with the hem of your stolen hoodie. "I've always been a person with hair that was a certain length, and-"
Mallek interrupts you with a swipe of his razor against your scalp.
"Hey!" your hand jumps to the clean shaven spot; it's fuzzy like a kiwi.
"You'll learn," he says, pitching his voice low, "to be the person with this length hair." He pulls the last lock out of your face before shaving it, kissing you on your now exposed scalp. "Or this length hair," he tickles you on the jaw with the lock of hair he just shaved off. "You're gonna look so punk, babe."
And so it goes. He doesn't shave your whole head; just a small part of the side.
"Did I ever show you my first shave?" he asks, wiping down his blade once he's finished.
He doesn't wait for your answer, shoving his palmhusk in front of you. The picture is of preteen Mallek, complete with lime-green soda tab necklace and striped arm bands and shaggy, wavy hair with a shaved patch right at the side, all right angles.
"Wow," you can't help but laugh, "I always knew you were a square." You trace the perfect, ridiculous edges of his hairline on his palmhusk screen, and he hits the lock button.
You're forced into eye contact with your own reflection.
It's not bad- the haircut is very troll, with wild bits sticking up at odd angles- but, well...
You turn in your chair.
"So, matching tattoos next?" He offers.
It's not you, not really...
But you smirk the same way he does: all mouth. Your mouth. On his.
You think you can find a way to be this person, right now. You'll grow into it, and if not? The hair will grow into you, eventually.
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sovonight · 4 days
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why is so much of sewing just tracing and cutting and tracing again q_q i see why people get projectors and use adobe illustrator now
#drawing up a design that i can easily pattern from my sloper: 😊#actually having to make the pattern by tracing and cutting ad infinitum: 😰#piecing together printer paper to get a big enough sheet of paper and doing this ten million times: 🥲😭#not to mention the IRONING.... prewashing the fabric and having to iron 8 yards of fabric???? excuse me????#and then distorting it as i iron bc it has a slight stretch and i got so tired i stopped being careful 2 yards in#and the way that you're supposed to press every seam... excuse me... am i just supposed to have my iron heated and on standby at all times#AND THE STEAM??? i just got stay tape the other day and thought it'd be a neat alternative to stay stitching#BUT IT NEEDS STEAM TO ACTIVATE (which okay makes sense) BUT long story short i'm too afraid to use the steam function#on my iron because none of us are sure if water should go back into a tank that's been in disuse for 30+ years#so instead i get this water spray pen and delicately spray down the length of each piece of stay tape#before i cover it with a piece of gauze and iron it. and then i have to iron it extra so all the water actually evaporates#oh and the spray pen holds as much water as half a pen so i have to walk to the kitchen every 10 sprays to refill it#and i have to do this for every curved edge on my pattern pieces#i mean the alternative is just stay stitching but then i would have to calibrate my settings for a single layer of fabric instead of double#which means i have to switch my needle out more and i'm still new enough that sometimes i install a needles wrong despite going through#all the same exact motions that i usually would. i'm LITERALLY suffering out here. anyway can't wait to sew or whatever#oh and did i mention i went to a sewing meetup recently? yeah...#everyone there bought like $30-$100/yard fabric and i was there awkwardly knowing i only buy like $12/yard fabric#honestly though i have the opposite problem people usually joke about. i find it So hard to find fabric i actually like#it needs to be the right fiber + right color + right pattern/texture + right weight + i have to know exactly what i'm going to make with it
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bylertruther · 1 year
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the crazy thing abt will and mike is that we mostly learn will is gay because other people tell us he is, but we learn that mike is gay (despite him telling us he's not, begging us to pls see tht he's not gay) because literally everything that he does is so fucking gay. because in him trying to not be gay he is just being so unbelievably extra fucking gay without realizing. like. el is literally his red herring idc i'll say it stone me if u must but the truth must be said !!!!
#why is he always so crazy to save and protect will and even just to figure out if he's okay#but if el is missing he's like damn... tht sucks... but stays his ass at home. calls on his radio but thts it.#he doesn't Go Insane and put himself n everyone he loves in danger jus to find her. he knows she's out there. he SAW her. and yet!!#and when he fucks up with her he needs someone (lucas and will) to hold his hand n guide him through it (which NEVER fucking works#bc they don't know her how mike SHOULD know her as her bf but i digress) but when he fucks up with will HE LITERALLY DOES EXACTLY WHAT#OTHER CHARACTERS ARE TELLING HIM HE NEEDS TO DO FOR EL (LUCAS) OR EXACTLY WHAT OTHER CHARACTERS ARE TELLING EL THAT HE'LL DO FOR HER (MAX)#EL IS LITERALLY CRYING BEGGING PLEADING SAYING YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE ME WHY CAN'T YOU SAY IT YOU THINK I'M A MONSTER#AND HE'S LIKE 😰🤐😶🫥 BUT WILL CONFESSES UNDER HER NAME AND THEN /PROMPTS HIM/ TO SAY WHATEVER HE NEEDED TO SAY#AND SUDDENLY /THATS/ WHEN HE CAN SAY I LOVE YOU?!!? FOR THE FIRST FUCKING TIME?????#AND THEN AFTERWARD WHEN THEY'RE NOT TALKING HE JUST BRUSHES IT OFF????????????#YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT'S NOT A GAY MAN? YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT'S NOT A HOMOSEXUAL?#meanwhile will has always just been will. the Biggest hint we got was s4 him moving his foot away. but other than that it was always subtle#ppl calling him slurs. bc everything else they PURPOSELY made it so tht it could be either he's just Not There Yet or Could Be gay#but mike is just so. he's fucking gay bro how else can i say it like 😭#mine#mike
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solradguy · 8 months
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Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.
it self selects for people who actually play the game. it’s canon that he’ll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear they’d get the underlining messages
While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.
The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.
#asks#Unfortunately I was an asshole on the internet once (not a vicious transphobe just a basic internet asshole)#I know exactly how these people function because I was there once...#When you don't take the person you're arguing with seriously it's very easy to laugh at every single thing they do#Which is what these guys are doing. It doesn't matter how well thought out the counter argument is. They don't care and they won't care#All you can hope for is that they're young and they grow out of it (I did)#I feel bad for them because I think about what led to me being like that decades ago. Are they going through the same thing?#I was like that because I was in a hopeless situation and hated myself and hated everyone else#People arguing back just proved my point that everything sucked and my hate was justified#It's an awful feedback loop. People being kind to me felt disingenuous. Why should they be kind? I hated them. They had no reason to be nic#I had to get to a point where I was willing to help myself crawl out of that pit before I let anyone else even get near me emotionally#I still remember the day when I realized I was being a fucked up little shit to everyone lol#Early June 2011. It was sunny with no clouds and there was a cool breeze. I was listening to In This Moment and I realized#'What the hell am I doing? Do I want to be like this forever? Get your shit together man'#It was a slow process from there but I did get out of it. Slowly. Very slowly.#There's a lot I did that I regret and can't ever apologize for because it was so long ago and the names and faces are gone now#Apologizing at this point would be selfish and only for my benefit anyway. I can only hope that what I did didn't hurt people permanently#Anyway. I've never talked about this on here before because it's the kinda shit that gets put on callout posts out of context#So. I am laying my naked soul bare and raw for the sake of underlining my original point: Internet trolls don't care
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hajihiko · 1 year
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I think the best part about sdr2 is that basically all of the ships make sense. Most people fit well with most people. They're all perfect for each other
Perfect timing I was just having polyam emotions
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recitedemise · 3 months
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𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗲𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗱. This, beyond being a testament to his softer heart, his rather sizable well of care, is a consequence of his time shared with Mystra. Being a worshipper, a follower and lover both to the mother of magic, Gale is far more familiar with giving than receiving. A tremendous deal more. Beyond those illusions of love, Mystra granted him nothing, and whenever she was troubled, even sour or short, it was Gale, doting Gale, who would smooth it out. In truth, short of the stars, he had offered her everything. His whole life to boot. Still, living for some years prioritizing Mystra, Gale's grown notably reluctant to ask for help. It's why, when strapped with the netherese orb, newly blighted and rotting to death, he'd sooner clamored in his tower than look to friends. He's loathed to show his folly, of course, and is far from a fan of stirring worry, but with Mystra, any ask he'd made was resolutely shunned, and from his lover, his deity, that left its mark. Gale--a giver, a man that wants to hope but doesn't dare to--is not a man to ask for anything. If ever he does, the ask is comically small, and even then, he expects to be denied almost immediately. Consequently, an eager kindness leaves him floored. Gale can read displeasure. (See: Mystra.) Gale's trained to soothe it, too. Yet, when confronted with the novelty of that same generosity, your resident Gale of Waterdeep is like a fish out of water.
#HEADCANON.#This hit home because I know too intimately what Gale went through.#God. It sucks. Gale is so attuned to Mystra and her periods of distance and#her cold demeanor.#He just learned to go right into tell me what I can do to make it better mode.#I think Gale isn't really the best at reading or catching social cues#but he's very aware when someone is upset.#He had to learn because god forbid he failed to recognize something and receive less warmth from Mystra#(she isn't exactly warm to begin with.)#she was just largely neglectful of Gale and Gale was convinced it was love#he showed so much of it and so much warmth and...kinda felt being chosen by her#was enough of an expression of love on Mystra's part (it isn't!).#Gale also only asking for help from YOU because he knows you deserve to know#because hiding it would be a danger to others around him.#Like Gale truly asked for no ones hand before the nautiloid incident. he had to be quite literally#torn from his life and freefall into another disaster before even asking for help#a small ask too. This man is like hey can I have your UTTERLY useless necklace so I don't die? i'm so sorry i'm such an inconvenience#fuck. Gale. Gale...baby....#Literally you go 'children shouldn't die' (arabella) and he's all you're such a decent person...i trust you#???? honestly. need i say more.#anyway idk if ill write much today beyond this. im DROWNING in work and i have to prep for an event tomorrow#so you can just frown with me about gale#Me writing about Mystra: wow theyre a lot like my abuser. 🥲🥲🥲🥲hauew..a..
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This is a rarity for me, but thinking about tuggoffelees in the context of Misto being this immortal *something* who's been around for literally thousands of years, flitting from place to place (a wanderer, if you will), leaving cats behind - both willingly and unwillingly - getting to a point with Tugger where it’s a reluctance to leave him, even though he knows someday he must. 
And it’s the bittersweet feeling of the horrifying ideal of knowing and being *known*, being relieved that someone does even as he dissuades him from doing so, and paying the price that comes along with that (both in his case, and knowing that, eventually, he’s going to break Tugger’s heart and he...doesn’t want to do that).
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royalreef · 7 months
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(( Merfolk are hypersocial macropredators. This shouldn't be new information to anyone on my blog, but the sheer extent of merfolk sociability cannot be overstated. Their social nature is the entire reason they were able to become and specialize into macropredatory niches in the way that they have. Their close relatives, the leviathans, are an excellent example of what merfolk might have become if they didn't have their intense communal proclivities — being much more typical, expected examples of a secondarily aquatic large marine predator akin to marine reptiles of the past and whales of the present. Without their social bindings, merfolk might have entirely lost their hands for flippers, would lack their heightened connection to sound and language, and certainly wouldn't have shaped the ecosystems and the world they inhabit in the same way.
For this, merfolk relationships are complicated. They started as a way of forming a simple hunting group and handling life in large colonies, but as merfolk specialized further, so too did their relationships. More and more they focused on interpersonal politics and the complications of maintaining a large social group that was constantly evolving and shifting, which fostered the growth of their intelligence and sapience, which then led back even moreso into needing the ability to maintain and keep up with their relationships.
A merfolk in isolation is not a merfolk at all. While the exactness of this thought varies across their different cultures, it still holds true for all of them. On a literal level, merfolk can and do die of loneliness, their social needs as much of a requirement to them as the need for food or water. If you were to isolate a merfolk, to the point where they could not hear nor see anyone else, then they would endure a brutal one or two weeks, and then die. Every other need can be met, they can be otherwise entirely healthy, but without anyone else around, they cannot live.
On the more metaphorical level, a merfolk cannot exist solely on their own. Most merfolk cultures accept that the individual does not exist, and that there has to be some outside dialogue with other merfolk in order for them to even be alive. The self and identity are inherently plural to them, a multifaceted soul which exists in the bodies and lives of merfolk in a group, and which can't be broken down. Maintaining relationships and fostering them is as essential as feeding yourself, or feeding someone else.
For all of this, merfolk require much higher amounts of social interaction and connection. This is not to say that introverted merfolk do not exist, but they would be introverted by the measure of their fellow merfolk, and not by what humans might judge them to be. Much like how even the most introverted human could not endure the life of a solitary snake or spider, an introverted merfolk could not endure the life of an introverted human. Similarly, even an extroverted human could not compare against an extroverted merfolk.
Likewise, not every social interaction is the same to merfolk, and they maintain different emotional connections with different people, fulfilling a wider assortment of social needs. In fact, it is easiest to think of merfolk social structure as being like one large, interwoven, piece of lace, where each individual merfolk is represented by a single knot. They are all tied together into larger pieces, repeating patterns, all working together to create a singular, complex web of all the ways every merfolk is connected to every other merfolk.
For this, merfolk have different names for each different pattern, each different part at different scales and sizes. All are important, even if some are closer and tied nearer to the individual merfolk in question, and require greater maintenance to keep healthy.
These patterns and connections are, by far, what is most important to a merfolk. While merfolk are fully capable of experiencing platonic, familial, romantic, and sexual connections, it should be stated that this is not what the relationship hierarchy is based off of. They might be a part of that connection, but the connection itself and the place it occupies within the hierarchy is of far greater importance to a merfolk, to the extent that all else pales before it. Any point and connection within this web might be platonic, or familial, or romantic, but even a romantic connection to a merfolk might mean nothing against a platonic or familial connection if the latter outranks the former on their hierarchy of relationships.
Hence, from the smallest unit to the largest, this is (approximately) what the merfolk hierarchy of relationships looks like:
Yuu'itv + Ul’kiha
This can be thought of as the singular knot, as the individual merfolk themselves. This is what is most familiar to landfolk, as it typically does not refer to any more than one merfolk.
To the merfolk themselves, however, this is more theoretical and functional than a real part of their relationship hierarchy to be maintained. This is the building block of identity, the pieces which make up one true self, but pieces which are not as concerning or deserving of as much time as the selfhood itself.
The exception, as you might have noticed, is the inclusion of ul'kiha at this rung. Ul'kiha (in the common-technical language) is loosely translated as the water that runs through someone's gills, but in the plural. Less literally, it refers to a shared breath, a breathing as one. A shared body, in less flowery terms. Soulmates, in the easiest localization.
In short, an ul'kiha is another merfolk and individual who is so close to another merfolk that they are thought of as one person. A plural-becoming-singular, if you might. Other merfolk will treat two ul'kiha as the same person, talk to them as the same person, view their relationships to them as one person. It represents the tightest, closest bond any merfolk can have.
For this, ul'kiha are rare. Most merfolk will never take an ul'kiha in their lives, and for those that do, taking more than one is next to unheard of. Ul'kiha is, likewise, the only instance where a rung in the relationship hierarchy is solely romantic, and the only true crossover between the relationship hierarchy and humanity's views on relationships. While half of ul'kiha will refuse to take any other romantic partner, this is not comparable to marriage either, as the intensity of this connection could be thought of as codependent in a way that's natural for merfolk but doesn't occur in human relationships. While ul'kiha can split up, if one ul'kiha dies and the other doesn't, the living partner is expected to never take another ul'kiha again, and quite often the loss is enough to kill them too.
Miivt'ia
These are the first few knots the initial knot is tied to, and the first true rung on the relationship hierarchy.
In a sense, the miivt'ia is a merfolk's inner circle. These are the people who they are closest to in their lives, who they have a unique and potent bond with. A miivt'ia, likewise, is a group which is exclusive to itself, and all the members of a miivt'ia will feel the same way about each other, and count themselves in each other's miivt'ia.
The closest example we might have to what a miivt'ia is would be the concept of a friend polycule. None of the members inside a miivt'ia are exclusively platonic, familial, romantic, nor sexual with each other, but they have a tight and exclusive bond which is solely shared amongst each other. In fact, each member of the miivt'ia might feel differently about every other member of the miivt'ia and have their own, unique dynamic with every other member, but all are united in the closeness given by being members of the miivt'ia.
Miivt'ia are often formed right as a merfolk is first growing up. Family members can be included in the miivt'ia, but not always, and those included are almost always siblings, cousins, or others who are similarly close in age. Childhood friendships that begin to deepen often become a part of the miivt'ia, as are the most serious of relationships. However, miivt'ia can also be created outside of these formative years, and there are many miivt'ia that essentially act like guilds or a "family" business, being closer than mere coworkers but sharing the same job.
Miivt'ia are the people with whom a merfolk has near-constant contact with. They are expected to live together, and often will share the same job, or similar jobs. All of their personal belongings are considered as belonging to the miivt'ia over any individual, and legally the miivt'ia is the individual upon which laws apply to. A merfolk without a miivt'ia is effectively homeless, and spiritually merfolk consider the miivt'ia to be the soul. Merfolk that go through the Coral Festival (Habp'll pl'qe ane'jhe Oikahj) will go through it together with their miivt'ia. Any children the miivt'ia has or adopts is considered the child of everyone else in the miivt'ia, the members all acting as parents and considering themselves equally as responsible in the care for that child. Miivt'ia are not only expected to be constantly in contact with each other and to participate in everything together, but they are expected to care equally about every other member of the miivt'ia and to feel each other's emotions as one.
For all of this, merfolk are highly loyal to their miivt'ia and will defend the members of their miivt'ia with their life. Any threat to any other member of the miivt'ia is considered a direct threat to all other members and to the individual merfolk's lives, and the loss of any member of the miivt'ia is mourned by all others to the highest degree.
There is a lot of responsibility placed upon those included in the miivt'ia, but the miivt'ia also has an emotional closeness and intimacy that isn't shared by any other merfolk in the relationship hierarchy (except the ul'kiha, see above). Being too overtly close and intimate with a merfolk can be seen as not respecting the miivt'ia and be seen as a threat to the security of the miivt'ia. Likewise, if someone wishes to join a miivt'ia, they will often endure a "courting" phase with all the members of the miivt'ia, where they attempt to forge connections equally as close to and intimate with every other member.
Dhe'jny'p usae
If the miivt'ia was the smallest initial pattern any relationship can have in the larger weave, then the dhe'jny'p usae is the actual shape of that pattern, when something becomes not just an oval, but a petal on a flower.
Dhe'jny'p usae, in common-technical language, is closest translated to "drift family". Humans might recognize the dhe'jny'p usae as being something similar to friends. They are not as close as the miivt'ia, but they might represent the next nearest thing, being a close emotional connection with associated responsibilities. The dhe'jny'p usae would be the closest other miivt'ia to the existing miivt'ia, acting as neighbors or close-knit family. If the miivt'ia had children, then they would be expected to provide care and look after those children alongside their own, and would cycle wider, communal responsibilities with the miivt'ia. Miivt'ia and members of the miivt'ia would hang out with and spend a lot of time with their dhe'jny'p usae, and this forms the base of wider merfolk sociability.
While the dhe'jny'p usae would be excluded from the private, domestic matters of the miivt'ia, they might still be gone to for emotional reassurance, or to simply have someone to talk to. Dhe'jny'p usae are expected to help in providing food for each other, and will switch out communal duties that require a layer of intimacy with each other, and legally are considered very similar entities. While they wouldn't share all personal belongings like the miivt'ia, they might share what counts for money, and be responsible for dividing it up among themselves. Dhe'jny'p usae, likewise, might live together in larger communal houses and share chores among themselves, but this might be considered closer to the individual members of a household, and its not as intensely expected for them to live together as the miivt'ia.
Dhe'jny'p usae are likewise the most common place to find what we might think of as typical merfolk romantic relationships. Dhe'jny'p usae more easily come and go, leaving and entering a merfolk's life, not solely remaining there for life like the miivt'ia, and for that, it's not uncommon for merfolk to have romantic and sexual relationships with their dhe'jny'p usae.
Faa'nek hus'llu
If the dhe'jny'p usae were the equivalent to people living in the same house, the faa'nek hus'llu is closer to the neighbors. These are acquaintances, support-friends, those that they are close to, though they maintain a degree of separation. If the dhe'jny'p usae was a flower, then this is the daisy chain, the interlocking patterns which form a distinct function.
More than anything else, the faa'nek hus'llu can be thought of as the connective tissue. They bridge the gap between the intensely bound and closely connected dhe'jny'p usae and miivt'ia, and the wider social community of merfolk. They do not bear the brunt of the emotional responsibility and are free to come and go in any merfolk's life as they please, but there is still a degree of familiarity here, a sense of belonging. While dhe'jny'p usae might live in the same communal house, faa'nek hus'llu live in the same town, neighborhood, community. The responsibilities they bear are far more physical, often serving as shifting turns for communal guard or repair duties, ensuring that everyone gets their turn taking care of everyone else.
The downside is that faa'nek hus'llu enjoy far less emotional connection and intimacy. What is shared and offered is far more obvious and physical, and far less detailed than that which other, closer relationships would receive. They might know someone is tired, and they might know someone is in grief after losing a member of their miivt'ia, but they wouldn't be able to navigate the emotional complexity beneath that. Trying to do so can be seen as a threat, either to your own dhe'jny'p usae and miivt'ia, or to theirs, demanding familiarity which has not been earned nor received.
A'antiu Muur'l
This is the far end of any merfolk's immediate social connections. The a'antiu muur'l is not merely the knot, nor the petal, nor the flower, nor the daisy chain, but the sides of the lace itself, the largest part that fits together with all others.
This is the community as a whole. It is a town, a city, a city-block, more of a legal entity than a social one but a social one nonetheless. The a'antiu muur'l is far more location-based than the other rungs on the relationship hierarchy, and merfolk only truly change their a'antiu muur'l with a change of physical location. The a'antiu muur'l is the community from which community names are given, and the a'antiu muur'l is to the commonfolk what a royal lineage is to a royal.
The a'antiu muur'l in common-technical best translates to "song family", and to a merfolk, this is because it is intended to include everyone that a single merfolk might hear at any given time. They are strangers to the individual merfolk, sure, but they are all singing together and speaking at the same time, and working to build the same song together to flesh out life and the place in which they live, so there is a degree of emotional connection. It is abstracted emotional connection, yes, but it is emotional connection all the same.
Merfolk might even include physical landmarks as part of their a'antiu muur'l, such as in the case of their singing buildings, or for a particularly endearing local landmark. This can include a large reef, or mountain, or entire mountain range, but so too can it include the one weird shady area where all the kids hang out that the adults don't want them near.
Ghray Uw'ghta Faahl
In common-technical language, the ghray uw'ghta faahl means "all-body". It is far more theoretical than the others, being spoken of to promote a sense of universal connection, but is not something that's quite so easily envisioned in turn.
In essence, the ghray uw'ghta faahl refers to all merfolk. All of their connections, each a'antiu muur'l, each faa'nek hus'llu, each dhe'jny'p usae, each miivt'ia, and each yuu'itv. Each and every merfolk is included, down through time, because each and every merfolk has had an emotional connection, and thus each and every merfolk fits into the ghray uw'ghta faahl.
Thus, the responsibilities here are far more abstracted, and far more represent the responsibilities all merfolk have to each other. This includes their hospitality culture, yes, but far moreso it includes a sense a dignity and a need to recognize that each merfolk has someone else and belongs somewhere within the ghray uw'ghta faahl. It's a source of recognition, and of community, and of understanding.
How much it actually fulfills that role, as ever, varies, but the thought and theory and gesture is still there, all the same.
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spaceratprodigy · 4 months
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one of my favorite things abt how faith reacts to max in fallbrook arc is her being directly faced with her own hypocrisy
#I am a faith apologist but also she's whack fr#like girl you haven't been honest about yourself or your past either 💅#she's very evasive when she's the topic of conversation#not that she outright lies but she avoids questions or answers as vaguely as possible#just because she kinda learned early in Edgewater the consequences of her trying to be truthful about her life#and how unglamorously people react#figured adopting the mysterious persona and isolating herself was her only option#because phineas was the only person she could talk to the only person who understood to some extent what she was going through#and to add to it..#her own history with violence and anger#and even tho she became a very numb quiet distant persom because of her own past#halcyon got it's hands on her and cut her deeply and awakened a certain fire in her for better or for worse#excluding how often she has to defend herself for a variety of reasons and how it makes her feel..#punching nelson (twice) + shooting hortense between the eyes + shooting tilda in the knee..#girl you're not exactly a great role model at having control over your violent tendencies either 💅#but there's something so raw abt her and max just.. knowing those feelings intimately.. and not wanting it for the other..#defending each other.. seeing the good in each other.. /knowing/ the good in each other..#understanding how messy and complicated they are and then understanding why and just ough bringing out the best in each other#reaching a point where they can breathe and heal and not be in such a spiraling pain anymore they can just be loved and be themselves#unapologetically. caged no longer. being harmed no longer. by others or by themselves. and taking it out on others no longer#anyway#what I'm saying is..#the call is coming from inside the house..#yes he had an entire revenge scheme and lied abt his intentions.. but like.. he's also holding a mirror up to her face#SORRY I just love thinking abt how complicated cap faith is lmao she's a very broken soul who is trying her best in an unfortunate situatio#the way she handles her own traumas and griefs just isn't pretty and that's a whole other can of worms she's constantly faced with#rambling#faith and max
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brokenhardies · 4 months
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Two Birds AU Aesthetic
"Two birds on a wire/One tries to fly away/And the other/Watches him close from that wire/She says she wants to as well/But she is a liar"
Taglist
@darth-caillic​ @sterling-writes​ @wonderguards​ @reirvival​ @arrthurpendragon​ @foxesandmagic @eddysocs @superspookyjanelle (want to be added or removed? send an ask or a dm!)
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willowser · 11 months
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Wait, you deactivated?!! I thought u got suspended?☠️☠️💀 , I was really like damnnnnnnnnn😭😭😭😭😭😭. WELCOME back tho💖💖💖💖💖💖💯💯💫💫💫💫💥💥
yeah, i actually privated ! and — i don't know how to explain why to yall without 1) oversharing, 2) being super long-winded, and 3) sounding like a crybaby LOL but the long-short of it is: i was getting a decent amount of negative feedback the last few weeks and a final comment kind of launched me into this weird episode where i was sort of forced to face this hurt that i had been avoiding for a few years, and then i felt really uncomfortable and embarrassed and nakey, so i didn't want anyone to look at me LOL but i'm on the mend now, so thank you ! 🩷✨️
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gorillawithautism · 5 months
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i hate google but also
google docs convenient for sharing online
and i'm really not smart when it comes to tech so alternatives are hard to understand
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blujayonthewing · 3 months
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well I just spent an hour digging through my own dnd notes and social media and also almost cried because I mentioned, in passing, something justin had said about one of his NPCs and he, completely lightheartedly, was like '?? I don't remember that at all. [I mean I'm not making it up?] I think you might be making it up 😏'
#me-- instantly stressed and near tears: I know you're joking and it's not even important but. that isn't funny. to me.#I really wish there was a term for 'gaslighting but they're not doing it on purpose'#this is distinct from simply 'being wrong' because 'that's definitely not what happened 🤨' is a key part of it#the other person trying to convince me that I'm wrong and I must be crazy-- not for manipulation purposes but because THEY forgot#and are MUCH more confident in the possibility that I'm completely full of shit than that they maybe can't remember exactly#this is an extraordinarily specific thing that nonetheless happens to me ASTONISHINGLY OFTEN.#I mean clearly often enough that I'm now hair-trigger sensitive upset about it#AND TO CLARIFY QUICKLY-- that's not what justin even did (this time) but 'well I don't remember that' is still...#OKAY WELL I DO. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER BELIEVE ME.#trembling and crying searching for Receipts while explaining to my husband that it's not even that I don't think he believes me (this time)#I just. I just. I just. I'm not fucking crazy. I know you don't think I'm crazy. but I still feel like I Have to prove it.#my mom sending a package to the wrong address and then saying-- confidently and irritably-- 'you never GAVE me a unit number'#when I can scroll back up through texts to where I sent her our new address when we moved and it was complete and correct#my friend during our big stupid fight saying 'no one actually AGREED to that [dnd] plan except you and justin 😒'#going back into my audio recording to that conversation where everyone BUT him agreed#including his fucking pick-me 'yeah jay's being shitty right now' brother whose character said 'this sounds like a good plan' verbatim#like. I KNOW it's not just 'my memory vs theirs and we both assume we're right'#because SO OFTEN when this happens I have FUCKING RECEIPTS. that I'M NOT WRONG OR CRAZY.#no one ever wants to entertain the notion that I might know what I'm talking about.#I can't stress enough that I'm not mad at justin right now he was very much 'no I believe you! it's weird that I don't remember though'#which is fair! honestly! but I'm a LITTLE. sensitive. of the fact that everyone always ALWAYS automatically assumes I'm incorrect#and very often in a way that's a mark against my competence or character.#'well *I* couldn't *possibly* have gotten the address wrong so YOU must have fucked it up'#you know. it's like that. it's like that a lot.#maybe this only happens to me so much because I happen to be cursed with remembering things better than most people#or maybe I'm uniquely viewed as incompetent. who can say.#about me
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punkstylerecovery · 6 months
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I got up the guts to talk to one of my sisters the other day and tell her I thought my dad had been abusive over the years. This was in connection to a conversation we were having about him putting me down for being disabled, which she had brushed off as a joke.
I thought maybe this was an opportunity to talk more in depth about my issues with him, some of which I knew she shared. I was fucking scared, for a lot of reasons, but I didn't expect her to straight up deny him ever being anything close to abusive and shut down the conversation.
What the fuck are you supposed to do with that? I thought she'd question it, sure, then I could bring up examples, but to just deny it and shut it down? I don't know what to do with that.
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majimassqueaktoy · 1 year
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I found that segment of the game so frustrating lol
The scene where Majima and Makoto are walking to the takoyaki cart? But that's the beauty of it! It is frustrating and it hurts to watch Makoto to trip and fall but it's so important that the game and Majima let her walk on her own two feet- even if they're wobbly.
Like Majima understanding that she'd been jostled and grabbed and lead around- by him and by others, and how frustrating that is, because he does understand- it might not be exactly the same but being out of control of your body and life is something he knows well. So the game making the player slow down, you can't run, you can't speed it up- you've gotta let Makoto find her own way because Majima understands that's what she needs in the moment and Ough just really brilliant use of gameplay imo!
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very important announcement: new @birdchildsnest fic!!!
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