#i litchrally don't like her

[clotpolesonly]

y'all i am straight up not having a good time today

go forth if you're at all interested in my stress meltdown

i'm in the process of attempting to buy the house i've been renting. the owners want to sell it, but no one wants to buy to rent, they all want to buy and reside, which would require kicking us out, so they took it off the market to offer it to us first. the realtor seemed to be of the opinion that we were in a zone for a certain kind of loan that would make it feasible, but we're not apparently, so we're talking to a lender to figure out what types of loan we do qualify for, trying to figure out if this is a feasible course of action.

1) our lease is up in a month so if we don't succeed in buying the house, we will simply be homeless i guess, cuz it's pretty much impossible for us to find another place to live, secure it, and move into it in the space of 30 days. we are working on a time limit and, as of right now, we have no safety net or backup plan.

2) professionals really overestimate how much normies know about their field because i don't understand 80% of what the lender we're talking to says. i can't even formulate questions to ask, that's how little i understand the topic at hand. i need someone to explain this shit to me like i am 5 years old, especially because it's all theoretical and percentages and estimates and nothing actually TANGIBLE or with a concrete fucking number attached to it. can i afford this?? i don't fucking know, i can't tell, and i don't understand the process enough to even know what to ask for clarification on, i'm just completely lost.

3) all of this is being done in my name and with my money, but my big sister (whomst i live with) is the one who usually does the adulty adult stuff. but she's been having an awful fucking time starting a new job, to the point of an absolute meltdown last week, so i was determined to handle this myself. it's my money, it's gonna be my house, i should not be making her make the phone calls for me, that's stupid. i'm a grown ass adult, i should be able to make phone calls.

and i did! the first few, at least. i've made several calls in the last few days, despite hating phone calls, and i talked to professionals about grown up things and filled out paperwork and found necessary documentation and everything. i didn't even procrastinate on any of it!! i was doing so well!!!

then i found out we're not zoned for the loan the realtor said we were. and the lender started talking about a different one with more fees and more terms i didn't understand. and i already felt like i was just the worst person in the family to be having these conversations cuz my auditory processing is not fantastic and my short-term memory and retention are bad and i can't listen and take notes at the same time and i get overwhelmed and shut down easily

aaaand that's exactly what i did 🙃 go figure.

so my sister (whose work stress was significantly alleviated litchrally like 2 hours ago) has now stepped in to take over while i have my own stress meltdown, and that's only making the meltdown worse cuz now i'm MAD at myself. i was determined to do this myself. the mom friend anxiety override kicked in while my sister was so overloaded, and it carried me through the whole week, and now i'm crashing and i'm crying in my office at work and i feel like shit cuz i couldn't handle it like i said i would. i said i wouldn't make her handle this for me, and i failed, and she's having to do it anyway, and i wanna go HOME but i can't cuz i'm at work and i have to cover phones for the receptionist while she's at lunch and i really hope nobody calls until i stop fucking crying alkdfjghakf

#personal post

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Opera you like but don't talk about much?

so! let’s talk about bellini’s la sonnambula.

“savannah you don’t even like bellini that much” lalalalalalalalala can’t hear you i have Opinions.

specifically, let’s talk about lisa.

if you’re not familiar with the story of la sonnambula, it’s basically about this small town village girl named amina who’s in love with a boy named elvino and they’re about to get married and shit. BUT amina is a sleepwalker! and no one in this swiss village circa 1830 knows that sleepwalking is a Thing. so when amina sleepwalks into an older gentleman’s hotel room and elvino discovers her there, he denounces her as a cheating whore and breaks off their engagement, but amina’s honor and engagement are swiftly restored once the whole village sees amina sleepwalking and realizes that That Is A Thing.

it’s an exceptionally stupid plot, but i digress.

so who’s lisa?

WELL, lisa is the owner of the aforementioned hotel and she’s had her eye on elvino for practically forever. in fact, they were even engaged before amina came into the picture and he broke up with her. she flirts with count rodolfo (the aforementioned older gentleman) in his room while she’s making the evening rounds, but runs when amina shows up (not knowing she’s sleepwalking) and drops a handkerchief in the process.

then she goes and finds elvino and is like “uh hey i think your girlfriend is cheating on you” and then elvino has this massive overreaction and yadda yadda yadda he actually decides to marry lisa after breaking up with amina! but then amina’s adoptive mother teresa finds the handkerchief and slut shames lisa in front of the entire village.

and here’s the thing: even with her getting elvino, which caused amina’s life to be temporarily ruined, i feel incredibly bad for her.

first off, she’s a businesswoman in a small town in the 1800s. that was really fuckin hard and she was probably already looked at with some suspicion by the townspeople, especially working in a job that yes, did cater to men traveling alone!

[also, a tangent off this: as i previously mentioned, lisa is in love with elvino, who was engaged to her before he broke up with her and got engaged to amina. but lisa is being chased by a local village dude named alessio, and she is Not Having It With Him. she’s trying to gently fend him off too, which is ALSO very hard in a small town in the 1800s. plus the class differences and how she’ll no longer have her own property if she gets married. get married to someone she doesn’t like AND have to give up ownership of her property? no thank you. and that may also cause some problems for her. she litchrally just wants to live her life and not get treated like a piece of shit.]

but really: is it at all sensible to claim that being in the same room as a man alone means you’ll have sex with him? girl was just doing her job and she flirted with a guy ONE (1) time at work. and it wasn’t even really flirting!

this is the entirety of the “flirting”.

immediately after this, amina shows up and lisa runs away. and i think she does even though the intruder is coming in through the window (and what sort of person would come in through the window?) because she’s probably already on edge. she’s probably afraid of making that one wrong move and having her honor and reputation obliterated, which could also be bad for her business!

and lisa getting elvino isn’t her trying to destroy amina’s reputation! she doesn’t know amina is a sleepwalker!

it’s an on-sing one line-off thing. ten seconds tops. she even leaves the room before singing the line so she doesn’t know!!! so she may benefit from amina being out of the way, yes, but she didn’t know!

also, lisa did not intend to have the entire village see the debacle play out imo. she did know they were outside to welcome the count, but the chorus was already peeping in before lisa returned with elvino so she had no way to tell them all beforehand! they didn’t know either, which makes me think lisa didn’t intend for them to know.

there is this, which some could interpret as lisa saying “uh, fuck you amina”:

but i have a different approach. this is not necessarily her saying what should happen to her; it’s her saying what will happen to her. if it’s true she’s been unfaithful, according to nineteenth-century society, she’ll be hated forever. that’s just how it was. she’ll be a social pariah.

and lisa knows that, and she’s afraid that it’ll happen to her.

and then it does.

see, in act two, elvino decides “well let’s go to my fallback girl and marry her” and lisa is obvs Quite Happy About This.

she doesn’t feel worthy of him. 🥺

so they are just about to enter the church for the wedding when rodolfo shows up to stop them and then teresa shows up. after much back and forth, lisa tries to defend herself:

this is what we call projecting. i cannot stress this enough: she is trying to protect herself.

is it very cash money of her? okay, no. is it understandable? uh, yeah.

and technically, she is correct: she doesn’t know amina is a sleepwalker and amina was the intruder in the previous act and they never interacted, so no, she has never been caught alone in a man’s room.

but as i said, even if she had been caught: she was at work! she was LITCHRALLY at work!!! what is this, a mike pence “never be alone in a room with someone of the ‘opposite’ [there are more than two genders btw] gender even for professional reasons” thing? that’s ridiculous!

and in a way, as we quickly see, lisa was caught: teresa pulls out the handkerchief she found and shames her.

and lisa is ashamed, saying she doesn’t dare to even lift up her head and she cannot defend herself.

and after this, in the libretto, lisa is silenced. she never speaks her own words again. this powerful woman is rendered powerless, humiliated to the point of losing her ability to express her own thoughts in this village now set against her.

and no one comes to defend her. not elvino, her former/current lover. not alessio, the man supposedly head over heels for her. obviously not teresa, who is the one leading the charge against her. not anyone who has ever interacted with her in a professional or personal capacity.

not even count rodolfo, the powerful man who was actually there and could exonerate her, decides to defend her.

it’s not that he can’t defend her, it’s that simply he does not want to. he litchrally says he does not want to share his thoughts.

and then he turns around and immediately pleads amina’s innocence.

he wants to defend her. and that may be possibly because of the implication for him: he took advantage of a poor peasant girl. but for lisa: oh that’s different, surely she was flirting with him, she had power in the situation because it was her business, and so on.

but let’s set that aside for a section because that is conjecture. except for elvino, no one else connects this to him.

but it ties into a larger thing that may or may not affect rodolfo, definitely affects the villagers, and probably affects stage directors to this day: the madonna/whore complex. amina is the pure madonna, lisa is the whore left in the shadows. amina’s innocence must be protected but lisa can fend for herself so surely she’ll be okay, right? wrong.

amina being an ingenue doesn’t make lisa a bad person. lisa is in a precarious position and she is afraid and she is trying her best to stay afloat in a society designed to work against people like her.

she isn’t an angel or a devil. she is a woman trying to live.

thank you for coming to my ted talk!

(had a long conversation about this last night with @carlodivarga-s)

#opera tag #opera #opera asks #asks #la sonnambula #the sleepwalker #bellini #vincenzo bellini #in short: lisa deserves better #and the madonna/whore complex is stupid #opera analysis

[streamsofstardust]

You know what’s messy, with out even the conformation on who the person was for sure, everyone knew when the words “Danny’s Stalker” were said. How tf can you not be embarrassed by that? As a 29 year old women too (like do you not have a job and career?? Damn).

LITCHRALLY

listen i'll be honest, when i met her at AC i was like oh she seems nice and her friends were too so i was like word cool but then literally all she'd talk about were her interactions w danny and how she got his feather earrings and then i learned more about her and all the stalking shit and i was like .... this is .... a lot

like we all have our little daydream moments and fantasize about the guys but i've never personally seen anyone act like this and obviously it's not common bc like you said, people mentioned "danny's stalker" and everyone immediately knew who they were referring to

and some of y'all might not like me saying this but the older fans (and im not saying 29 is old I'm just saying in comparison to a solid majority of us) have a pattern of being the most unhinged. wasn't it an older fan that like snuck in somewhere to see sam?

bottom line is don't act like this. don't go out of your way to stalk the guys. be kind, considerate, respectful, and focus on enjoying the music they give us. some people are very clearly only invested in the band because of their looks and that's an ick to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

#also i just got confirmation that it is in fact her #someone i know saw her there #sooooo do w that what you will

[jlf23tumble]

Hi Jen, may I know what's your UO on Harry's wording "people like me" during her speeches?

I don't think my O is exactly U, and lots of other people have answered this exact same question at this point. In short, he pulled the same phrase out of his ass that he always pulls out of his ass, and, yes, that humblecore shtick works in front of screaming fans who paid to be there, but read the room, non-nepo-baby, it was the wrong sentiment in the wrong space, you are litchrally the person this kind of thing happens to pretty much always.

#i know he still gets some shit for the boyband rooms BUT #i do love the whole him surrounded by nepo babies #and not being one and maybe that's shocking to him?? #i'm sure there's a class element to it that has carried over the last decade #but here's some free advice: hang out with some non-nepo babies #also why is everyone asking this question or is it just one person who has this burning need to know? #what's YOUR uo about it??

[womanlives]

❔ c:

my god your writing and muses are so gorgeous there's just so many i'm going to cap at neverafter at first so i don't write 10 novels but i have more i -

SNOW WHITE & ELODY. spoilers for dimension20's series neverafter to follow. ok, is this one of my fav d20 series? yes. will i roleplay litchrally anyone from it? yes. i would love to explore the dynamic of elody, abandoned by gerard, being approached by these princesses and their plot to 'retake their lives,' in a sense. i think snow white uniquely would be interesting to run up against her in parallels of abandonment, both perceived and actual. bulletpoint plot/thread ideas below:

the initial recruitment as a thread plotline; this could serve as a great opener to introduce our characters to one another, as well as establish a precursor for how it all happened. would love to explore elody's reaction to the first 'story' in which the tpk happened unravelling as well.

battle threads with the faeries, please.

the fallout from meeting gerard & co., especially considering the lore bomb gerard dropped on elody's head before peacing out into the snow with the rest of them. her hair is eevryWHERE ~~

post-neverafter resolutions. what do their lives look like? how did they rewrite their stories? is it everything they end up dreaming about?

YLFA & GERARD. spoilers for dimension20's series neverafter to follow. let's explore the (unwilling) transformation of two people into animals and the long-lasting effects that has on them. bonus points for contrasts of their reactions and/or levels of acceptance. bonus bonus points for the spicy underlying theme of humanity and pieces of themselves slipping away. bulletpoint plot/thread ideas below:

please let them have the classic late-night keeping-watch private chat where they discuss how it felt to die.

ylfa subconsciously encouraging gerard to dissect his marriage because she's got a crush on 'nocchi and asks gerard, a certified Wife Man(tm), relationship advice. and where his went wrong. HEE HEE.

gerard teaches ylfa sword forms. they go horribly wrong.

goes without saying, but post-neverafter resolutions pt2. i'd also love to explore an AU where things DON'T get the happily-ever-after written ending and they're more or less 'doomed' to stay as ''''animals''' forever. i'd love to see how they react to that.

'QT PLAYS DEALER'S CHOICE NEVERAFTER CHARACTER HERE' & GERARD/ELODY. no but literally this is just a free space where if there's someone i haven't listed (pib, nocchi, minor characters, villains, the faeries) that you'd love to see against gerard or elody, i GOTCHU FAM

BONUS ROUND FEAT. SPUR OF THE MOMENT THREAD IDEAS:

meera reed confronts theon greyjoy for the deaths of two innocent boys following her return to winterfell (obviously would fall into the grey space between book & show canon).

an exploration into how rue and wuvvy came to be: their partnership, their devotion, just love em. LOVE EM.

red makes a bargain with drisella, in an almost direct juxtaposition to cinderella and her faerie godmother. [red vc] i aint work for Free

how to con henri out of his immense wealth while also not dying hideously in the process feat. mercy

send ❔ and i’ll list a couple muses that i’d like to throw at yours (feat: plot bunnies) for @ateliaers.

#ateliaers #when i tellst you i gots IDEAS #!!!!! #lmk if any of these strike ur fancy or anything :3c

[munamania]

hiiii abby i didn't read the ask posts you reblogged but if everybody else is sending you asks i wanna be included <3 ummm let me think of a question. OH. tell me where you are on riverdale... what do you think about it, i know you're not on s3 yet (unless i don't know that...) so you HAVE to be sure to Blog about it when you do get there becasue it is literally one of THE great tvseasons of all time i think. anyway literally you have got to catch up on riverdale so you can experience waching it live... time is running out... the end is near... etc. anyway i hope you're well, hope your night is going fine. um i hope your roommates get their shit together and i hope film girl dies. sorry to speak her name, i just hate her <3 i'm still very jealous you got to meet dylan mulvaney but also happy for you but also that should have happened to me but also happy for you... xoxo ily bye goodnight :)

hiii beth i saved this cause i got so sleepy last night <3 but okay so im on s2e20 rn. was really happy to see cheryl and betty hanging out this cooper drama is crazzzy. also last ep oh my god! i was like jaw dropped rip archie was all bloody and beaten and kidnapped... i already brought up how fun s2e18 was at one point i was so so giddy thru that ep lol. i have done such an awful job catching up UGH i was watching a decent pace briefly pre break and then my mom didnt wanna watch w me and life happened and i got SO thrown off. so im just gonna have it on as much as i can over the next few days and then........ watch anyway?? or should i just miss the first week the big return and do everything i can to catch up before next week. i appreciate the vitriol you have for her tbh like it's sooooo nice to have another hater for her out there. reminding me to have a backbone. and she sucked so bad. also god the roommates. i HAVE to get out of here (and thank god i will in just a few months.) litchrally wish you could have been here for dylan i was soo so so unexpectedly like nervous like a little chihuahua shaking and she was so kind and sweet but i was SAUR embarrassed and kinda gross after work. she was lovely though. yeah you shouldve been here fr. anyway love u hope ur having a good night <3

#do sound off on how i should approach rvd. i think i'll talk abt it more when im watching too i love talking <3 and it's so. SO much is #always happening it's so fun #asks

[koalammas]

Lmao horizon forbidden west spoilers ahead don't read if u care, I'm on mobile idk how to add a readmore

I still have horizon unfinished after they killed off my fave for no reason whatsoever. They could have included parallels by making aloy care for varl while he recuperates. He literally did that for her, its been established time and time again that they care for each other and like... there's SO much potential to have him live and still get the emotional shock that his death is supposed to be. There's literally technology from the future, you could have written aloy genuinely threaten tilda until she helps to heal him, you could have used that as a building block for the trust between her and the homebase crew. Have him rest at the base and heal. He does not have to be an active npc, you could literally build tension over whether or not he wakes up. You could still get those same conversations with Zo, the cautious friendship they've built together, aloy missing her chance and getting over it to support her friend, becoming friends with zo herself, for her own sake? You could still have all those deep conversations, and have varl wake up at the end, healed by zenith technology. Instead we get a shocking death and ... a messily written truce that makes litchrally no sense to me. Absolutely botched that one, when you had potential to do it so much better and like. Also you know. You didnt need to kill off a black male character for the shock value.

#that left such a bad taste in my mouth i still havent been able to continue that game /: #which sucks bc up until that point forbidden west has been one of my fave gaming experiences ever. #liinatalk #hzd spoilers #hfw spoilers

[badcountryofficial]

me: wow..........mayhaps i...........have a crush......on this girl.......................

me also: no it’s just cos she’s available and talks to u abt sex and being lonely and u see it as potential even tho y’all would NEVER work out

me: n-no........no i think i have found a Soulmate...........wow.........

#god i'm such a n idiot #i litchrally don't like her #i just want to End This Feeling #IT'S WINTER BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #aparently it's gonna get up to 70 this week and oh my god i'm PUMPED #gimme that sweet sweet heat and the vitamin #i'm strongest in the summer it's gr8 #anyway i'm screaming #she's honest and has Real conversations w me it's nice i like having ppl around like that #talks abt relationships and mental illness and yadda yadda it's nice #anyway #i'm dying

[madamescarlette]

Yeah okay so Olivia’s album hit me like a truck at full-speed it’s fine

#litchrally had to get up the courage to listen to driver's license again because it breaks me like an egg every time! like it destroys me! #i wrote a line recently about how love is two people keeping the faith for each other #but how tragedies come from when one dies or leaves #the other is left playing to that same faith trying to carry it on with no one to see #this entire album of SOUR really did feel like a portrait of someone at seventeen trying to live up to something unachievable #trying to cast yourself in the mold of what you're supposed to be #and the kind of downfall and heartbreak that comes with that! and the way that you try to deal with it #which is an endless ring of questions that revolve around each other and don't really go anywhere #eventually you have to light upon love that doesn't ask that of you. eventually you come back to the ground #and find out that's exactly where you want to be #ANYWAY i love her. das all #musics #olivia rodrigo

[chronicroc]

Being an emo teen is hard work, babes.

#realized today that a couple of scars aren't really fading #tw: self harm #btw #and i should probably work on figuring out how to cover them before summer time #turns out! I'm horrifyingly pale! #concealer my mom gave me because it was too light for her #pretty sure it's called porcelain #is litchrally yellow on my skin #so now the scars look like those gross bruises that are just starting to heal #and have that brownish yellow around them #also i don't know how to apply eyeliner and i'm not allowed to wear dark lipstick #so two problems

[kissinginkitchens]

You Bring Me Home — Chapter One: Flightless Bird, American Mouth

a/n: I've been working on this story for mooonths now and I'm so excited to finally share it with the world! It's heavily inspired by Harry's Behind the Album mini doc, except I changed the setting to Hawai'i because I've personally spent some time there and as they say, write what you know! YBMH takes place in the period between One Direction's hiatus and Harry's first album/tour, but with that being said, this is entirely a work of fiction and some events don't follow the true timeline. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my little story, I hope you love it as much as I do! It will be updated every Friday at 5 PM PST. My inbox is open, so feel free to talk to me once you've finished reading! I'd love to hear from you :) Much love, Mel <3

Pairing: Hawai'i!Harry x Original Character

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 5.5k

May, 2016

Harry watches LAX get smaller through the airplane window and visualizes all of his worries stuck at the terminal gate, their magnitude also diminishing as he takes flight. He sinks lower in his seat and skims through playlists on his phone when a nagging feeling at the back of his mind pulls his attention away from the screen. Looking up from the song choices, he spots a cell phone quickly lowered from his line of vision and a girl with flushed cheeks who quickly averts her gaze. Harry shoots a tight-lipped smile in her direction and goes back to his phone with a sigh. The days when he could roam the streets freely without fear of recognition—or worse, harassment—feel like an entirely different lifetime. He sometimes imagines that he’ll wake up back in his childhood bed as if the past five years had all been a dream, but he never does. In fact, his privacy and anonymity seem to dwindle with each minute of radio play that One Direction receives. It’s a bittersweet pill to swallow, but one he hopes will go down easier with some time in the Hawaiian sun.

His close friend and new manager, Jeff Azoff, had suggested the vacation as soon as the band privately agreed to take a hiatus.

“You’ll go home for a few weeks,” his voice had crackled through the speakers of Harry’s phone. “Visit your mom and Gem, lay low for a while until the smoke blows over,”

Harry mulled it over in his mind, eyes flickering over the rolling landscape outside of the tour bus window.

“Then what?”

“Then you go for a little vacation. The label offered to cover a house in Hawaii so you can start working on the album,”

“Alone?”

Jeff chuckled lightly on the other end before responding. “I mean, if that’s what you want,”

“No,” Harry corrected. “You and Tom should come. Mitch and Bhasker, too,”

“The dream team,”

“And there’ll be a studio there?”

“Yes,” Jeff started, almost hesitant. “But I don’t want you to think about that too much,”

“But you said the label—"

“I also said vacation. Look, Rob said ‘it will all happen in due time,' did he not?”

Harry twisted the rose ring around his finger, tracing over the silver petals and thinking back to his conversation with the CEO of Sony Music, Rob Stringer. Upon the proposal of his debut solo album, Rob had told him that the most important ingredient for a successful debut would be patience. The singer had agreed in the moment, but every day not spent in the studio felt like a test he hadn’t studied hard enough for.

“Yeah.”

“So you take the free vacation,” Jeff suggested. “You go out, live, get some writing material. Maybe mess around with some tunes. And then we come back to L.A. and get to work. But until then, I just want you to focus on taking it easy.”

So take it easy he had. Or at least he had tried to when he was back home in England. Harry quickly grew restless after what felt like the millionth awkward conversation with past friends and acquaintances, all of which eventually led to the topic of One Direction and it’s unexpected hiatus. After one month at home, his mind and journal were full of ideas for songs, things that he wanted to say before he lost his nerve. One night as he tossed and turned in bed, he shot Jeff a text, just two words that would kick off a three month getaway to the Big Island of Hawai'i:

I’m ready.

********

“Sounds great, I'll go put in your order.” Alani offers sweetly, trying not to overdo it with the customer service voice. After waiting on the family at her designated table, she heads back to the kitchen and finds her younger sister, Pua, crouched in the corner taking what appears to be a serious phone call.

“I don’t know, I just saw it!” Her sister cries in a hushed tone. “Where do you think he’s going?”

“Is everything okay?” Alani cuts in with concern.

Pua whispers into the speaker before bringing the phone to her shoulder.

“Harry Styles was just spotted on a plane this morning,”

“Who?”

“The guy from One Direction,” her sister explains with a hint of irritation in her voice. “The band who sings that song you secretly like, ‘Fireproof,'”

Alani vaguely recalls the melody, but she waits expectantly for Pua to elaborate. “And this is news because…”

“Because the band just broke up, so where could he possibly be going?”

"The unemployment office?”

Pua rolls her eyes and returns to her phone call while Alani envelops her in a tight hug.

“I’m just kidding!” Alani apologizes, squeezing tighter despite her sister’s attempts to break free. “I’m sure he’ll be living off of royalty checks until he’s, like, eighty,”

“Get off me, freak!” Pua cries out, finally breaking the embrace.

Alani clutches her chest and pulls out an invisible knife. “Ouch. I’m telling Harry you said that,”

“This is exactly why I don’t tell you things.” the younger sister huffs, storming out of the kitchen through the employee entrance where Alani’s best friend, Maleah, has just arrived.

“Looks like someone forgot to eat their Cheerios today,” she remarks, tying her curls into a high ponytail.

Alani shrugs and leans against the counter. “She’s going through something. Just discovered that boys in pop bands are, in fact, just regular boys.”

“Poor thing,” Maleah frowns. “We all have to learn eventually.”

********

The sky is a blend of cotton candy pink and burnt orange when Alani returns home from the café with a strawberry smoothie in tow. She empties the mailbox and sorts through the various bills and advertisements, but her stomach drops when she sees a familiar return address label. After a quick greeting to her excited dog who waits at the door, Alani bolts up the stairs and quietly shuts the bedroom door behind her. Breathe, she reminds herself before tearing into the envelope and discarding it onto the wooden floor.

Dear Ms. Hale,

We are very grateful to have received your submission to Rolling Stone magazine. However, we regret to inform you—

She doesn’t read the rest, slumping to the floor in defeat. The sixth rejection letter from Rolling Stone lies crumpled at Alani’s feet and she kicks it across the room with a frustrated grunt. She had worked for over two months perfecting her analysis of Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow Taxi and its allusions to the environmental impact of urban development in Hawaii. As part of her initial research, Alani had even traveled to both the Royal Hawaiian hotel in Honolulu, which is the famous Pink Hotel mentioned in the song, and Foster Botanical Garden that Mitchell referred to as “the tree museum.” She was certain that her effort and persistence would result in at least a consideration. The second third time's the charm! Maleah had joked watching Alani submit the piece. Six articles in the span of two years, each one facing the same rejection despite the increased effort Alani had put in over time. The fact that the rejection letter hadn’t changed over the course of the two years brings an incredulous smile to her face, and her stomach turns when she considers that the editors probably hadn’t even read her work, anyway. All that effort, she thinks to herself, all that time, for nothing.

“It will take time,” her favorite professor, Dr. Hudson, had reassured her three months after the Joni Mitchell article was submitted. “Every great writer faced countless rejection until that one piece. Yours will come. Keep your eyes open and your pen ready.”

Alani sighs and lifts herself off the floor, choosing to crawl into her unmade bed instead of slumping onto the hardwood. She hears a soft scratching at the door before her King Charles Spaniel, Freddie, pads into the room.

“Come here, bubs,” Alani whispers. He obeys and burrows into the duvet, giving her temple a gentle lick before nuzzling into the nape of her neck.

“You still love me, right?” she asks, voice cracking. “Even if I’m a failure?”

Freddie sniffs her ear in response.

********

“Right,” Harry says, his tongue peeking from the corner of his mouth as he reads the map. “No, left, sorry,”

“Do you actually know how to read a map?” Jeff teases, correcting the turn.

Harry pouts in response, his brows furrowing. “In my defense, we’re literally in the middle of fucking nowhere,”

“There are worse places to be,” Mitch pipes up from the back seat. “England, for example, where they say things like ‘litchrally’,”

“Very well said, Mitchell,” Jeff Bhasker adds with a fake British accent of his own.

Harry turns to his friends in the back seat with a finger pointed like an agitated mother. “If you lot don’t shut up, I’m gonna lead us to a volcano and push you in,”

“Where are we even going? I forgot,” Tom complains.

“To get food,” his manager responds from the driver’s seat. “I think,”

“Why can’t we just stop there?” Mitch asks pointing to a café pulling up on their right.

Jeff merges into the turning lane quickly without a second thought. “Good enough for me, I’m starving.”

“Sorry, H.” Mitch pats his friend on the shoulder.

Harry scoffs. “You’re the one who wanted poke.”

The Aloha Nui Loa Café is much more spacious than the exterior suggests, yet it still feels cozy. The walls are painted sage green and adorned with various local art pieces, as described by the plaques that accompany them. A skylight fills the center of the room with plenty of warm lighting, leaving the space along the walls in a bit more shade for an intimate feel. In one corner, a hanging disco ball leaves freckles of sparkling light along the walls where the sunlight hits, making the whole image very idyllic in Harry’s mind. As if he couldn’t enjoy the setting more, he hears the beginning of an Otis Redding song that he’s had stuck in his head drift through the restaurant speakers.

“Welcome in!” a voice calls, which pulls him from his survey of the room. His head whips to the source—a girl around his age with wavy, dark hair and honey skin. “For here or to go?”

Harry takes a hesitant step up to the counter. “For here,”

She smiles warmly and pulls some menus from under the counter. “How many in your party?”

“Five.”

“Great, follow me.”

Harry and his friends follow the waitress to the corner of the room under the disco ball and take their seats at the round table.

“My name is Alani,” she introduces herself, setting the menus down. “I’ll be serving you today. Can I get you started with some drinks?”

Harry continues scanning the restaurant while his group orders. His eyes land on the shirt that Alani is wearing, a white tee with the words “Enjoy Health, Eat Your Honey” in blue lettering that surrounds a picture of a cartoon bee.

“Harry,” Jeff says gently, catching his drifting attention.

The singer turns to his manager, who nods to Alani waiting with a pen pressed to her notepad. Harry feels a rush of embarrassment creep across his cheeks and he clears his throat to cover it.

“Just water,” he says, eyes glued to the menu. “Thanks.”

“You got it.” Alani nods, flashing a toothy grin at the rest of the group before turning back to the kitchen. Harry. Her mind repeats, finding a hint of familiarity, though she doesn’t know why.

When Alani arrives at the drink station, she finds her sister staring at her, mouth agape, while Maleah unsuccessfully conceals her laughter.

“What?” she questions, checking herself for any embarrassing stains or smells.

“You were—and he—” Pua stammers. “He was—and then he—”

“That’s Harry Styles,” Maleah translates, her voice hushed as she peers over her friend's shoulder.

Alani turns to steal a glance at the table she just seated, but Pua and Maleah latch onto her and shake their heads frantically.

“Don’t look!” her sister hisses.

Alani smirks, amused at their reactions. “No shit. That’s One Direction?”

Maleah snorts, clasping a hand over her mouth as Pua huffs. “No, dumbass! It’s just Harry. I don’t know who the other guys are,”

“But the blonde guy? That’s not—?”

“No!” Pua and Maleah giggle in unison.

“Okay, geez,” Alani relents. She manages to steal a quick glance at the table over her shoulder, immediately searching for Harry. Her eyes scan over the long, curly hair kept out of his face by a pair of white sunglasses that she had seen on Kurt Cobain once. All of his features are sharp and striking, from his pointed nose and defined jawline to the bright blue eyes. Or maybe they were grey? Alani wonders, trying to remember the exact shade. He doesn’t look anything like the fresh-faced teeny bopper she’d had in mind, the one from a music video her sister had shown her a long time ago. She would have never guessed that the What Makes You Beautiful singer had so much dark ink trailing down his bicep and forearm, though her knowledge of One Direction was very limited.

“What did he order?” Pua questions, her eyes wide.

Alani quickly snaps back to reality and resumes filling the drinks. “A water,”

“Oh my god,” Maleah swoons. “I’m never drinking anything else ever again,”

“I didn’t even know you liked him,” Alani teases with an eyebrow raised.

Maleah sneaks another peek at the table and catches her lower lip between her teeth. “I mean, I didn’t really think so either but look at him. What a fucking dream,”

Harry was objectively handsome, this Alani could admit, but she personally didn’t see the appeal and had a strong feeling that he was just like every other male celebrity. The fact that he hadn’t even bothered to make eye contact with her only served as further proof of what she knew to be true.

“Okay, well, your dreamboat is waiting for his water. So excuse me,” Alani winks, making her way back to the table.

The singer spots Alani returning out of the corner of his eye and the sight of her causes a strange flutter in the pit of his stomach that makes him want to duck for cover. Instead, he pulls his phone from his back pocket and pretends to be occupied with something on the screen.

“Okay,” she greets, setting the drink tray down. “I have a Blue Hawaii, a Mango Mama, two Loco Cocos, and a water,”

The group graciously accepts their drinks with a chorus of “thank you," but the only one under Alani’s scrutiny is Harry. He still doesn’t meet her almond eyes, and though she figured he wouldn’t, she can’t help the inkling of disappointment that washes over her. After taking their meal orders, Alani heads back to the kitchen, checking on her other customers along the way. Harry’s eyes follow her and he observes the way customers light up at her presence, indulging her conversation with laughter. He watches as she lingers by the jukebox in one corner of the room, a detail he had missed in his initial scan, and waits anxiously to see what song she chooses. Baby I’m-a Want You begins softly and Harry feels the corner of his lip curl ever so slightly. Good choice, he thinks.

********

“He’s still here,” Pua muses, peering through the tiny window in the kitchen door. It had been nearly two hours and the five men were still seated around their table cracking jokes and doing a lot of talking with their hands.

Alani doesn’t look up from her bowl of sliced kiwis, offering a hum in response. “And what do you want me to do about that?”

“Nothing,” Pua shoots back. “Don’t bother him,”

“What kind of girls do you think he’s into?” Maleah asks, attempting to peek through the window.

Alani shrugs, bored of the conversation and of thinking about Harry. “I don’t know, but I’ll bet he’s a real sucker for the ones who stalk him while he’s eating,”

“How does he make eating a salad look hot?”

“Can we talk about something else now?” Alani whines, poking holes in a lone kiwi with her fork.

Pua tosses a wet dish rag in her sister’s direction and cheers when it lands in her face. “Go see if he wants more water, he looks thirsty.”

“I already refilled it,” Alani defends. “Twenty minutes ago. I’ve refilled it a hundred times, I’m surprised he hasn’t peed his pants.”

I’m gonna piss myself. Harry thinks, his right leg bouncing to distract himself. He really wasn’t all that thirsty, but he couldn’t stop himself from finishing each glass of water that Alani placed in front of him. He really wasn’t all that thirsty, but he couldn’t stop himself from finishing each glass of water that Alani placed in front of him. Like clockwork, she would return to fill his glass almost as soon as the last drop had been drained, and so what began as a little experiment slowly turned into a bladder hazard. But if the trend was to be trusted, she would be back any minute and he wasn’t going to miss it; afterall, there were only so many ways to casually linger in a small café without making it weird. Unable to bear it any longer, he heads to the restroom and hopes that Alani doesn’t clear their table before he has a chance to see her again.

Harry pads down the back hallway with his eyes cast down at the floor, which proves to be a mistake when he walks directly into another person.

“Sorry!” they both apologize quickly, Harry’s palm taking purchase on the other person’s upper arm.

“I wasn’t paying attention,” he offers, finally meeting the dark, mocha eyes already looking back at him.

Alani presses her lips into a tight smile. “Me either,”

Harry’s heartbeat picks up when he realizes it’s her, and he isn’t aware of how close they’re standing until he detects the faint scent of kiwi on her breath. He takes a step back and rakes a hand through his hair.

“So I guess I’ll just—”

“Yeah, sure.”

Green. Alani notes to herself. His eyes are green.

********

Shortly after Harry returned from the restroom, him and his friends settled their bill and headed out. Alani cleared their table and her eyes nearly fell out of her head when she saw the hefty tip left behind. The word mahalo was also left behind on the receipt, underlined twice, and she wondered if it was his handwriting.

Later that night, she settled into bed with her laptop and hesitantly typed his name into Google. As she expected, countless articles about the split of One Direction emerged, most of them speculating what was next for each member. To her surprise, however, Harry’s name seemed to be mentioned more than his fellow bandmates as various sources labeled him “the next Justin Timberlake” and rising star of the group. Upon further investigation, she learned that the demand for information about the elusive Harry Styles was high, especially concerning any possible solo music. No news had yet been confirmed by Styles himself, nor anyone claiming to represent him, but she still wondered if his presence in Hawaii had anything to do with a possible solo project. Almost as soon as she thought it, Alani dismissed the theory in favor of the idea that he was most likely just taking a vacation. And from the buzz that she saw surrounding the news about One Direction, she couldn’t blame him.

The more Alani read, the more she wanted to know, and something deep down told her that his was a story worth telling. Of course, the only problem was that she had hardly talked to him, and there were only so many things she could say about the fifteen glasses of water he downed. There was no way of knowing if she would ever see him again, either, or if he was merely stopping in Hilo on his way to another island or somewhere else entirely. Alani sighed, thinking back to her most recent rejection from Rolling Stone. She knew that there was no possible way she would ever see or talk to Harry ever again, and even if she did, why would he bare his entire soul to a stranger? Still, she let her mind wander through the possibility.

Dear Ms. Hale, the letter would read, we are very grateful to have received your submission to Rolling Stone magazine and are pleased to inform you that your piece on Harry Styles will be featured in next month’s issue. Additionally, we would be honored to have you on staff, effective immediately.

It was far-fetched, Alani knew this, but she dozed off that night with endless ideas swimming in her head.

********

By the third day after his visit, the only trace of Harry is in Alani’s search history. She would have completely forgotten about him if it weren’t for her sister’s constant reminiscing and multiple attempts to rename the house salad to the “Harry Special.” As a result, a part of Alani’s thoughts periodically linger back to that day and the subsequent hours spent on Google that she’d rationalized as research instead of stalking. Somehow the knowledge that she’ll never see him again only adds fuel to the questions still burning in her mind, but a customer clearing their throat while she sorts menus below the hostess podium interrupts her thoughts.

“Welcome in!” She calls, standing. “What can I—”

She stops in her tracks, unable to believe her eyes. Harry blinks and waits for her to continue.

“What can I get started for you?” Alani tries again, hoping that he hadn’t noticed her shock. Luckily for her, Harry had been too focused on choosing his next words to register her mistake.

“What’s in the Honu smoothie?” he asks, mentally kicking himself for asking such a stupid question when the menu just inches above her head clearly spells it out.

Alani hums, thinking back to the times she had made the smoothie herself. “Kiwis, spinach, mango, avocado, and a hint of lime,”

“I’ll take one of those,” Harry says, reaching for his wallet.

Alani punches in the order with trembling fingers and nods. “For here or to go?”

“To go,”

Disappointment fills her chest. Sure, she hadn’t planned on seeing him ever again, but the fact that she did felt like a sign. If she wanted to take the chance, she’d have to do it fast.

“Anything else?” she asks, weighing her options while he skims the menu.

“No thanks.”

Alani makes the smoothie quickly, head spinning. She had spent most of the night after their initial meeting planning out exactly the type of questions she hoped to ask him and what kind of article she would write. She was used to writing about what she knew—artists and music she’d admired for years— but she figured that starting fresh with someone she hardly knew would be a good challenge. Not to mention that it seemed like just the thing Rolling Stone would jump for. Alani finally works up the courage as she finishes his smoothie, but when she returns to hand it to him and hopefully strike up a conversation, his ear is pressed to his cell phone. She holds out the drink and he graciously accepts, giving her a small nod as a “thank you” and rushing out of the restaurant.

Two days later he returns and is seated at the counter, typing away on his phone. Alani feels both a rush of optimism and annoyance at the universe for dangling his presence so unexpectedly. She starts heading over to him, but Maleah cuts in.

“Trade me?” she proposes, eyes wide.

Alani blinks. “Oh, I would but I—”

“Please,” her best friend pouts. “I’m leaving to see my grandparents in stupid California for two months. Who knows when I’ll get the chance to see him again?”

Alani sighs, but gives in, reluctantly exchanging Harry for the family of four seated by the window. A strange feeling settles into the pit of his stomach when he sees that she heads in the opposite direction after a hushed conversation with another waitress. He doesn’t know why she traded him for a different customer, but he takes the hint.

A week goes by without another sighting of Harry and Alani has permanently taken on the role of greeting hostess in hopes of seeing him again. Her heartbeat temporarily speeds up when she sees a long haired customer approach the door, but her spirits quickly fall when the face doesn’t match his.

Another week brings another disappointing realization that Harry might be gone for good. One rainy morning when the restaurant is quiet and only two customers huddle together in a booth near the back, Alani hunches over the hostess podium and doodles on a stray receipt— a sunflower, a crescent moon, and two hearts. The bell above the door jingles but she doesn’t look up, too absorbed in her scribbles.

“Do you serve coffee?”

The familiar accented voice stops Alani’s pen dead in its tracks. She lifts her eyes first to confirm, and then straightens up when she sees that her ears haven’t deceived her.

“Yes,” she swallows.

“Great. I’ll take it to go,”

She slightly deflates, but Harry thinks he’s reading too much into it.

“Actually,” he corrects anyway, just in case he isn’t. “I think I’ll stay for a while,”

Alani flashes a warm smile and nods in the direction of the counter. “Right this way,”

Harry sheds his windbreaker onto the back of the seat, revealing a black and white Rolling Stones t-shirt that makes Alani’s blood pressure rise. A sign, she thinks.

“What do you want in your coffee?” she questions carefully.

“Nothing,” he responds, shaking out his damp hair gently. “Or actually, uh, butter...if you have some,”

Alani blinks, not sure if she’d heard correctly or if there had been some transatlantic miscommunication.

“Butter?”

“Yeah,”

“Like the—”

“Spread, yeah,” Harry confirms. “It’s weird, I know,”

She lets out a light-hearted laugh and nods. “It’s a...unique request,”

“I thought the same thing at first,” Harry confides. “It’s not bad, actually. But maybe I’ve just been in L.A. for too long.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

She offers a polite smile and heads to the kitchen where the cook and two other waiters talk amongst each other. Alani is grateful that the restaurant is slow this morning because she knows that it means minimal interruptions to her time with Harry. To ensure this, though, she asks one of the other waiters to cover the podium and returns to Harry with his coffee.

“One butter coffee, free of judgement,” the waitress announces, setting it down.

Harry grins softly, stirring the drink with the spoon Alani provided. “You can judge, it’s alright,”

“I just wanna know why,”

The coffee had been part of a fad diet while on tour in order to boost Harry’s energy on stage and stay trim for the hundreds of photo-ops he would be a part of. He doesn’t know how to communicate all of this to Alani, however, not sure how much she knows about that part of him, so he shrugs and tells a simplified version of the truth.

“I read about this trend a while back, it's called bulletproof coffee. Supposed to get your energy up and I needed it for my job,”

“Which is…” Alani trails off, downplaying the knowledge that she had acquired from Google.

“I make music,” is all Harry says and he takes a sip of the drink to avoid elaborating.

“Anything I would have heard?”

He swallows hard and listens to the faint rumbling of thunder outside before replying. “Possibly,”

“Try me,” Alani challenges.

He narrows his eyes and takes another sip of coffee. “Why don’t you tell me something about yourself first?”

“What do you wanna know?”

Everything, Harry responds internally, though he reigns it in. “How you got into waitressing,”

Alani sighs, resting her elbows on the counter across from him. “There’s not much to tell, it’s a family business. What I really wanna do is write,”

“Music?”

“Articles. I’m studying Journalism at UH,”

Harry hums in response, filing the detail away in the back of his mind. “Sounds interesting. You ever publish anything?”

“Not yet,” Alani shakes her head gently, toying with the sleeves of her green University of Hawaii crewneck. “Hopefully soon, though,”

Harry racks his brain for something else to say, but before he can, Alani speaks up again.

“Is it my turn to ask something now?”

He offers a curt nod and stirs his coffee.

“What kind of music do you write?”

Harry chooses to be vague again. “Different stuff. Pop, usually. Been messing with some classic rock, though,”

“Explains the shirt,”

He peers down at the design on his tee and agrees. “Yeah, I guess so,”

“Do you like it?” Alani asks, her eyes begging to make contact with his again. “Writing music, I mean,”

“Yeah,” Harry confirms, tapping his spoon against the rim of the mug. “I really do,”

Alani’s heart pounds. This is her chance, a moment to finally secure her breakthrough piece. She doesn’t know how to approach it, so she opts to dive right in without looking back. The worst he can say is no.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“That’s cheating,” Harry teases lightly. “It's my turn,”

She pouts playfully, but obliges. “Fire away,”

Harry doesn’t know which question to ask first, but when he glances down at the crescent moon inked on her wrist, he decides to start there.

“What’s with the moon tattoo?”

Alani isn’t sure what she expected him to ask and wonders what purpose such a detail could possibly serve him, but she answers anyway.

“Oh, well,” she begins, tracing her index finger over the outline. “It’s kinda the meaning of my full name. It’s Mahealani, Hawaiian for ‘heavenly moon,'”

Fitting, Harry comments to himself. Every detail he learns about her makes him want to learn that much more, from her favorite foods to the last thing she thinks about before falling asleep. Studying her expectant eyes, he suddenly remembers that it’s his turn to respond.

“That’s cool,” is all he says.

Alani doesn’t know what to make of the faraway look in his eye, but she decides to pose her most burning question while he appears to be in good spirits.

“I know this is gonna sound totally out of the blue,” she starts, working past the lump in her throat. “But when you mentioned how you write music, I was just reminded of this assignment I’m working on in my class,”

Harry waits for her to continue, nursing his now lukewarm coffee.

“I’m supposed to write a piece about someone who I don’t know that well,” she continues. “You know, to practice our interviewing skills. And, well, I was just kind of wondering if you might be interested in helping me out—being the subject, I mean,”

Alani had every intention of telling Harry the truth, about how she really planned to submit the article to Rolling Stone in hopes of securing an internship before her college graduation next Spring. But as she started speaking, she quickly realized how it would come off: a complete stranger asking for personal information to submit to a well-known publication. She knew that there was a chance he would shut down and never return, so she lowered the stakes and hoped that this route would be less risky. Was it ethical? Alani hadn’t decided yet, but she would work out the details later. After six failed articles and two years of rejection, she saw a ray of hope and wasn’t going to let it slip away.

Harry ponders her offer for a moment, which confirms that she had recognized him. Normally he would be off-put by such a request, and to a certain extent he is, but there is something sincere in her voice that he trusts deep down. Before he agrees, however, he decides to fish around a bit to test her reaction.

“You know who I am,” he says gently. “Don’t you?”

Alani’s heart drops into the pit of her stomach, not sure what to say next. She hopes with every fiber of her being that she hasn’t upset him, or worse, ruined her chances, so she decides to offer some truth to throw him off her scent.

“My sister recognized you,” she explains. “That day you came in with your friends. I thought they were your bandmates at first,”

This lets Harry know that she isn’t a total stalker, which is comforting, but he wouldn’t have been minded if she were a fan simply engaging in conversation.

“Oh,” he laughs weakly.

“I totally understand if you say no,” Alani offers quickly, trying to smooth things over. “I just thought it was worth a shot. And that it might be more interesting than interviewing our produce guy,”

Harry decides to give her one last scan for any sign of insincerity. He’d always felt that his gut instinct was strong and it hadn’t led him astray thus far.

“An interview?” he clarifies.

“Just one,” Alani promises. “An hour, tops. And you can proofread all of it once I’ve finished, too.”

Harry waits a beat, already knowing his reply, but he wants to see how she will react to his silence. She doesn’t budge, almond eyes set and determined.

“Okay.”

next chapter

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles x oc #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #ybmh #she's here she's here she's here!!!!!

[streamsofstardust]

i don’t think you realize how stupid you sound sometimes . im saying it is weird that you posted about lexi for months and now nothing and all you talk about is your “lil bird.” seems like you use them , get bored , dump them

LMAOOOO

okay let me put this in simple terms since your fraction of a brain cell can't seem to process how it works

i have tons of friends. i love all my friends so so so much. i don't need to post about every single one of them 24/7 to prove that they're my friends. maybe you need the validation? do you need to do that? bc i don't but let me just entertain you for a moment

lexi and i talk litchrally all day every day and have for like what? the entire year we've been friends? we make plans to fly out to see each other all the fucking time. she's literally my ride or die and i love her with my whole entire heart. sparrow literally told me tons of her friends call her that and it's the cutest thing ever so i started doing it too. do you not have nicknames for your friends? well actually i guess you don't need to answer that seeing as it's clear you don't have any because you're such a bitter bitch.

so many of my friends have come from being active on tumblr. i don't need to announce every single person I'm friends with to prove that we're friends. most of the people i talk to on a day to day basis are people i've met on tumblr, i just don't feel the need to publicize every single fucking aspect of my life

tell me how the fuck that makes me sound stupid

#anon bullshit

[ybcpatrick]

i was by @nerdangels thank u amanda i am holding ur hand rn <3333

1- why did you choose your url?

he's my boy. my fucking lad. my DUDE. my little guy. he is me and i am him. i was blessed by the whoevers to have snagged this url

2- any side blogs?

TOO MANY, BRO. i have a wrestling blog, a supernatural blog, a muppets blog, a poetry blog, a nostalgia blog, and an archive for the post!ybc au (which isn't dead, i promise, im so sorry to all the anons in my inbox i love you im just so tired all the ike akskajdskjf)

3- how long have you been on tumblr?

that april fools joke blog from a couple years ago says i joined on february 22nd, 2014. but, i did have another account before this one, so i'll just loosely say mid-2013 for that one

4- do you have a queue tag?

i've tried keeping a queue soooo many times but honestly i am just like. not the sort of person to use one lol. if i'm online you'll know it, if i'm not i'm not

5- why did you start your blog in the first place?

because i needed somewhere to get all the danny phantom stuff out of my system

6- why did you choose your icon/pfp?

bc he's ybcpatrick. i am Also ybcpatrick.

7- why did you choose your header?

oh it's still my halloween theme lmao, haven't had time to make a new one. my headers are just chosen to match my themes, i loooove makin pretty themes

8- what's your post with the most notes?

that GODDAMNED green day post. im too lazy to grab it rn but it's got over 100k notes. if u follow me u have seen it

9- how many mutuals do you have?

y'all are keeping track? ajdjejfjwuri i have lots of friends on here but idk how many

10- how many followers do you have?

1239 at the moment

11- how many people do you follow?

354!

12- have you ever made a shitpost?

babygirl that's all i do that's all i'm here for

13- how often do you use tumblr each day?

i will close tumblr and then by muscle memory i will open it again immediately. hotel california

14- did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

never with an actual person, but anons try to start shit with me REGULARLY. back in the day, some anon tried to accuse me of pretending to be canadian because i made one (1) post about liking the tragically hip. like HELLO?

15- how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

don't guilt people into reblogging shit; furthermore, even if it is important, tacking a "yOu NeEd To" onto your reblog is a surefire way to get everyone else to ignore it out of spite lmfao

16- do you like tag games?

YEAHHH i love them so muuuuch please tag me in anything and everything i don't care if we're mutuals i don't care if it doesn't seem applicable to me please. tag. me. anyways.

17- do you like ask games?

ALSO YEAHHH but i'm terrible at remembering that i reblogged one, so then i'll get distracted and forget to answer them in a timely fashion ajskajdwkndme

18- which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

bro i don't KNOW. possibly some of the fic authors? or some of my bandom mutuals? one of my mutuals (who doesn't have many interests in common with me so idk why she's still here but i think she's super fuckin cool) is probably "tumblr famous" bc like. all her posts get notes?

i think tumblr is great just bc you have NO IDEA who's "famous" and who's not. like, unless ur mutuals with fuckin setheverman or pukicho, it's just a mystery

19- do you have a crush on a mutual?

........i liked her long before we were mutuals and i'll say nothing fucking else thanks

tagging: @sleeping-dead-dying-sleep @greatesthitz @residentjoth @lunathemacron @softnsquishable @ibidflash and litchrally anyone else who wants to!!

#shut up kell #tag games #this was FUN!

[t4tmoreid]

ok vent incoming but yall the family doctor shortage in my province is getting so bad. my family doctor left her clinic in june so i just. don't have one right now and literally nobody is taking new patients, and all the nurse practitioners i've been able to find appointments with aren't qualified to prescribe my adhd meds because they're technically narcotics and therefore a controlled substance and hhhhhhh i litchrally do not know what to do rn, nobody can give me the prescription i need and i can't see an actual doctor until the end of september (and i only managed to get in with her because she's a friend who treated me when i was younger) like i'm so utterly fucked atm i've already been out of meds for weeks i'm seriously about to turn to the streets for the meds i need just so i can fucking live my life 😐😐

#i'm not really going to buy ill*gal drugs but maybe i will no i won't this is a joke no it's not it is #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh god i hate being off my meds #i feel like i'm constantly teetering on the edge of losing my mind but at the same time i'm catatonic #tw substances #i mean i'm talking about prescription meds but jic #/pers

[stantler]

People don't Get It abt Hop...he grew up in his brother's shadow and needed to find his OWN path and dream, I don't see how he could be jealous of Gloria when by the end of the game he's happy to be doing something new and exciting that suits him!

EXACTLY. he litchrally is grateful to her for helping him forge his own path and everything like this is basically his entire character arc but no one reads!!!!!!

[stonerzelda]

Your ask box is titled 'tell me your zelda theories' so thats exactly what im gonna do! I don't think it was just Mipha that wanted to marry Link, I think the love was mutual between them at the time before Link lost his memory.

THE WAY THIS IS DEFINITELY HOW IT WENT DOWN.....................bro even zelda hated Link at first there was no competition (besides that one other zora that asked link to choose between her and Mipha WHICH BTW only sets in stone how Link very likely expressed his feelings towards Mipha if he litchrally went into battle by her side after being asked that...) the boy fully intended to marry Mipha man, pike if Mipha made that armor for him she would’ve had to ask his measurements and in positive he would have known why she’d have asked. 😔 man. Almost makes u think Mipha’s death was part of why Link didn’t make it huh. Maybe it’s possible he just gave up and intended to try to join her in the afterlife. And then he wakes up and remembers her and its like he had one last chance to save princess zelda, since he couldn’t save his own...

#i am the upset #autisticreimu