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starry-eyedblog · 4 months

Note

Could you do one with either Simon and/or Price teach soap how to properly pleasure fem reader?

uhm yes the fuck i can, that's so hot please i need to be put in my cage to calm down(@~@)

warnings/tags: johnny x fem reader, simon x johnny x price, smut, degradation, dub con, oral (eating out), hair pulling, bad sex?? lol

johnny is someone who has all the right intentions; eager to please, sexually playful and always down for most things. he has the right idea, but no proper training.

that's where his superiors come in though, happy to help their sergeant learn and grow as a man. johnny had complained, well more like whinged to simon one drunken night about how about he'd never had a lass come around his cock and how no women let him eat them out for more than 5 minutes. he just didn't know what he was doing wrong!

simon had told price over a drink one late night, how they ought to show johnny the ropes and the captain agreed. so here they all were now, in a cheap hotel with you as the willing subject. you had recently met johnny on a night out and exchanged numbers, eager for a hook up. you didn't expect your first time with the cocky scot to be with two other men though.

you hesitantly agreed upon getting a glimpse of said two men, both standing tall and proud. it left you wondering if it was going to turn into a foursome but then the man in the ghost balaclava told you they were only there to make the experience more enjoyable. it didn't do much to calm you.

as of now though, you were laying on your back mostly bare, save for the pretty bra you picked out for tonight when you first got the text from johnny, who currently had his head between your thighs, licking and nibbling at what he thought was your clit.

spoiler alert, it wasn't.

you heard the bearded man speak up, tutting loudly before sauntering over to the two of you. he yanked johnny back by the hair, looking down at him and you felt your cunt drip at the display. "c'mon boy, you can do better than that eh? seriously, she's not making a peep." he grumbled, and johnny eagerly nodded.

"sorry cap," he ushered out before whining as his face was shoved back into your cunt, price keeping his head down.

"less talk, put that tongue to better use." he ordered, watching johnny intently. you continued to watch on, propped up on your elbows as johnny hooked his arms around your thighs. you let out a soft sigh as you felt johnny finally latch onto your clit. it was starting to feel good, enjoyable even.

"old man had to show me once too, it's alright johnny." simon utters out from the corner of the bed, his beady eyes watching johnny moan into your pussy.

"there you go son, that's it drag your tongue down 'er cunt. just like that." price groans, guiding johnny's head down until his tongue is sinking into your hole.

you whimper and whine as johnny finally finds all the correct spots for you. your hips buck several times, and your cunt gushes around his thick tongue. just as you're about to come, legs twitching and hands grabbing at the sheets, his warm mouth is pulled off of you.

a soft cry leaves you, your eyes fluttering open as you pout up at the scot who's face is drenched in your juices. "leave 'er wanting more, begging for your cock." price lectures his sergeant, combing his hand through his mohawk before condescendingly patting his face to urge him to get up.

johnny scrambles up onto his knees, grabbing a condom that he rips open and pulls down over his leaking cock. he looks down at you, grinning manically almost. before he can slip his cock inside, his hips are grabbed and held in place from the back by simon who looms over him at the edge of the bed. thick fingers bite into tough skin and muscle that has the scot groaning in pain.

price silently stalks around the corner of the bed, standing in johnny's line of vision with a cigar in his hand, ready to be lit. "ask before you slide into her. manners johnny, you seriously can't be this pussydrunk already." price tsks disappointedly, "fuckin' pathetic." he adds under his breath.

"ca-can i fuck ye now? please, need tae feel ye hen." johnny pants, looking back down at you and you nod softly. "yes yes please, put it in johnny." you whimper gently, watching as simon's hands guide johnny inside before pulling away so they can watch their sergeant and figure out why he's so bad.

as price lights his cigar, taking a deep inhale of the heavy smoke, simon comes to join him, heavy arms crossed over his chest. "you weren't as bad as him son, christ." the older huffs and simon dryly chuckles, watching the way johnny pistons his cock in and out of your cunt.

it's almost painful to watch, how bored and disinterested you look underneath johnny. he's mindless like a dog, only chasing his own pleasure with the way he pants and groans from how good you feel wrapped around him. he does lean down to suck and bite at your neck though, almost drooling into the crook of your shoulder when his body becomes overwhelmed with the pleasure he's receiving.

it isn't long until he's pulled off of you with a rough hand, his cock sliding out from the tight wet heat of your cunt. he whines and scrambles, desperate to get back in but simon is having none of it. he holds him back, forcing him to stay put on his knees.

"it's no wonder no one's came around your prick, boy." price tuts, exhaling a big cloud of smoke that dances and swirls up into the air. you follow it with your eyes, unable to stop your mind racing about just how weird this whole situation.

"you're fuckin her like a mindless dog. not doing anythin' to make the experience more enjoyable for her." he lectures, watching the way johnny's face flushes in humiliation, how the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"simon here is gonna guide your hips, so that you can focus on actually doing more than thinking with your cock. you'd like that, right sweetheart?" price asks you, the first time he's even spoken to you all night and you preen at his attention, he is very attractive.

you nod softly, "uhm, yes sir." you answer with a shy smile, glancing up at him and he chuckles. "that's a good girl. don't worry, we're gonna teach johnny here in no time, make this feel better for you." he states, patting your head for a moment before taking another drag from his cigar.

then, you feel the tip of soap's cock pressing at your cunt. you look up, seeing simon emerging from behind johnny with his gloved hands tightly wrapped around johnny's hips and guiding him inside of you. a soft gasp leaves you as he sinks in much slower than before, the pace is a lot more pleasant this time and you can actually feel the full length and weight of him inside of you now.

"now, bring a thumb down to her clit and gently circle it. can you do that for me son?" price orders, still standing to the side of the bed with his cigar. johnny nods his head, doing as his captain asks. as he lifts his hand, you gently tug it to your mouth and suck on his thumb, getting it covered in spit.

he watches with dazed eyes, cock throbbing inside of you as simon continues to work his hips. you then pull his hand out and guide it down to between your thighs, right above your clit so he can't miss it. johnny slowly circles the nub, watching the way your eyes flutter shut and as your tight pussy clenches around him deliciously. now he gets it, god it feels so much better like this.

johnny is a good dog, can follow orders perfectly and that is exactly what he does. as price continues to teach him tips and tricks to better his game, he slowly gets more and more control of his hips, proving he can do it on him own without simon helping him.

and finally, he makes you cum. it's one of the best orgasms you have experienced before, back arching and toes curling, cunt milking johnny for all he's worth. it's so good, it makes you forget about how weird this whole set up started off as.

@bjornthebearguy

@iciclesses

@mothymunson

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viviennevermillion · 10 months

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hello!! i'm absolutely in love with your writing and your posts!! (they're so inspiring seriously)

anyway- i was wondering if i could request Blade with a chronically ill s/o? no specific illness required! just the reader generally being under the weather a lot and exhausted, and how he reacts & takes care of them :)

thank you!! have a lovely day/night <3

With a chronically ill s/o

✧ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ: thank you so much for the request! i feel this bc i've just been diagnosed with two of 'em chronic illnesses (GERD and cough variant asthma) this year and it's been wearing me down before i figured out how to properly manage it. i hope you like this request! also you said i'm converting you to sampo so i'm adding him to this post.

if any readers would like to be on my star rail taglist, feel free to notify me (+ for which characters you want to be tagged). if i find you're on my dni, i will block instead.

✧ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: i'll be there — gabriella bee

✧ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: blade, sampo

✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: none

Blade is a very patient and attentive boyfriend. He already thinks existence is a pain so he does whatever he can to make sure you feel better and comfortable. When you have a particularly bad day he'll definitely stay with you if you want him to.

When he first learns of your illness, he makes sure to do enough research to understand it. Kafka found him sitting at a desk with a stack of books about your condition to make sure he's prepared for anything. She'd lean against the door frame with a smile on her face, watching him for a moment before making herself known. "That's so sweet of you", she chuckles and Blade turns his head. "Mind your own business."

Kafka definitely snitches and tells you about how much effort he put into understanding you and your condition

He makes sure to talk with you about it as well. He asks you what symptoms you have, how they feel for you and what you found helps you when you feel under the weather.

Literally asks Elio to predict what your condition will be like in the coming days. If it's a day where your illness flares up particularly bad, he makes sure to get all the items that help you and medications you need in advance.

He does not tell you that he does this; you just think the Stellaron Hunters are very medically prepared.

If Elio predicts that you'll have a particularly good day, Blade makes sure to take you out on a date. Maybe a picnic in nature or a nice dinner somewhere where there isn't a chance of someone trying to arrest him.

He listens to what you say you need at the moment. If you need space and rest, he will happily oblige but if you feel better with his comfort, he'll lay down next to you and wraps an arm around you from behind, snuggling close to you.

Blade has a satisfied smile on his face when he finds you in a peaceful sleep despite your symptoms or pain. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, careful not to wake you. He feels you snuggle closer to him in your sleep and it makes his heart flutter to find a smile on your face.

If he feels like you might need to eat or might be hungry when you wake up, he pays someone to bring you a nice (and suitable) meal to your doorstep. When you wake up, he asks you how you are feeling and tells you that he hopes you had a nice rest while nuzzling your cheek. "I got you lunch", he says softly and exactly in that moment the door to your room opens and you get your meal.

He assists you with whatever tasks may fall on your plate if you're ready to accept his help. He makes sure the other Stellaron Hunters go easy on you and don't give you any tasks that you feel you might not be able to handle on days where your illness flares up.

If you sent him a text message saying you're not feeling well and need his comfort at the moment, he'd literally drop everything to be by your side.

Blade has lived for a long time and he has seen quite a few cases of chronic illness so he's fairly adapt at being there for you. He's worried about you sometimes but he also knows you're living with chronic illness every day, so you know best what helps you and he trusts that you will take good care of things and reach out to him when you need him.

If you need a distraction, he'll be happy to read to you or play a board game with you or take a walk etc.; whatever you feel up to in the moment!

Sampo is super worried about you at first when you tell him you have a chronic illness because he's super inexperienced with the topic and has no idea what to do whatsoever. So he asks you what that means for you and what exactly your illness is, but there's definitely unrest in his voice.

With time, he fusses over you less and learns to correct some of the worst case scenarios in his head when you told him about it. Sometimes you need to bonk him with a "Sampo, I'm not dying" reminder but he's getting there.

Of course he could look up your condition in books and inform himself about it properly like Blade, but this idea does not occur to him. Instead, if you tell him that you're feeling under the weather, he just like,,,, gets everything, just to be sure. He reassures you that with Natasha around, you'll be in good hands and he promises to her not to try and scam her anymore so long as she takes good care of his love.

You text him that you're not feeling well and that your illness is flaring up and two hours later Sampo enters your home with four comically large bags. "Hey love, I'm home", he calls out to you, "I didn't know what you needed, so I got everything to be sure."

And he really did get everything. You rummage through the bags and raise an eyebrow at him like: "Sampo, what in the name of the Aeons is all this stuff?" There's 3 additional blankets, a hot water bottle, several over-the-counter medications, a couple of prescription meds that Sampo swears he "actually had a prescription for, don't worry about where I got them", healing crystals which he knows are "probably a scam, but there's no harm in trying and they compliment your eyes"; herbs, soup and medical equipment.

A lot of it has actually 0 to do with your condition but he wasn't 100% sure, so he just brought it. You may not need a humidifier, but you own one now.

The highlight is when he says "hold up, there's one more thing", exits your place and comes back a minute later with an entire echocardiac machine. You might not even have a heart condition. "Sampo...what- did you steal that?", you raise an eyebrow. "I found it and thought it might be useful, so I borrowed it", he says and kisses you to distract you from the topic.

Needless to say from that day on you only send him out with a shopping list and tell him to only explicitly get what you told him you need.

If you ever have any heart symptoms he's like "See? This is why we have the echo machine." "Did you learn literally anything?", you shake your head and sigh.

Sampo may not be the most adapt at handling your chronic illness, but he's got the spirit and Natasha is willing to explain things to him as well.

Regardless of how you're feeling, Sampo always manages to make you smile at the end of the day.

When you need rest he's more than happy to cuddle you and spoil you. He'd wrap you in a blanket and repeatedly kisses your temple, whispering to you that he loves you. "Don't worry", he speaks softly and kisses your forehead, "Sampo Koski will always be here for you. I'm sure you'll feel better soon. At least you don't have a Stellaron in your body." "What's a Stellaron?" "Don't worry about it."

Overall, he's confused but he's very dedicated.

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail fluff #honkai star rail blade #hsr x reader #honkai star rail headcanons #blade x you #blade x reader #hsr blade #blade #sampo koski #sampo x you #sampo #sampo koski x reader #sampo x reader #blade headcanons #sampo headcanons

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writingquestionsanswered · 5 months

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Fan-Fiction: Warning the Reader About Content

Anonymous asked: Hi, I'm writing a fic that deals with a pretty excruciating topic, I don't want to do it too explicitly, but not superficially either. The suffering of the protagonist could cause upset readers, so what do you suggest I do to warn them without spoilers and without discouraging reading? (Because as already said it's not too graphic, so I wouldn't want to warn too excessively.) Also, how can I write something angsty and still be believable? I don't want it to be overly melodramatic but I don't want it to be superficial either

[Ask edited for length.]

If you're writing fan-fiction and are posting it to a fiction sharing site like AO3, there are tagging protocols in place for story content, so you would need to look at what's required or typical for users of the site.

If you're posting it to a site like tumblr, you will want to do some research on how content warnings and tags are handled on that site specifically. For example, on tumblr, if the character is going to experience domestic abuse, you would at the very least use the hashtag trigger warning for domestic abuse, which you will see me use (among others) in this post because of the content we're discussing.

Depending on what you're posting and where, you may also choose to do an author's note to give the reader additional warning. Again, using domestic abuse as an example, you could do something like, "Author's note: while the protagonist in this story does experience domestic abuse, it is not explicit and most of it occurs off the page." This gives the reader an idea of what to expect on top of the relevant trigger warnings/content warnings and appropriate tagging.

As far as how to properly portray the situation with the right amount of angst but without melodrama, it's a good idea to do some research on the situation you're trying to portray. It's very helpful if you can find a guide to portraying a character with that experience, and even more helpful if you can find firsthand experiences via interviews, blog posts, etc. where people discuss their feelings during and after the experience. You may also wish to use a sensitivity reader who can vet your portrayal and make sure it isn't inauthentic or harmful

I hope that helps!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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#tw domestic abuse #tw suffering #tw angst #writing tips #wqaadvice

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brainworms-all-night-long · 3 months

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I bring forth the promissed Tails angst headcanons!!! cuz god forbid I go to sleep on time and stay asleep. Most of these (all of them actually I think) are stolen or derived from works of other people over the time I've spent in this fandom, so y'all are more than welcome to add your own!!

This one got way longer than anticipated

× Not in any particular order, but my favorite one is gotta be that those two brown foxes always seen bulling Tails are his older siblings. "Oh but they don't even look similar!!" Shh Tails has leucism, which brings its own share of problems and an extra mutation to get ostracized for. Buuut the crux of this headcannon is that irl fox family structures work like that. Unlike wolves who playfight with no real harm meant, fox kits engage in lethal baby fights, usually ganging up on the weaker and smaller ones of the litter, while the parents continue doing their best taking care of the ones that remain.

× While the topic of not so great family is up, Tails got his gambling habits from his dad. Before he ended up abandoned in the woods, that was the only way he heard was a "quick and easy" way to make money. And back in the day when Sonic was struggling to make the change, Tails offered to help in any way he could. (This is more wholesome than angst but remember!! Gambling is the ultimate evil of the world!!!) That is to say, speedrunning getting banned from every casino he visited (this is cannon actually)

× Besides many other not exactly ideal horrible things his parents done to him, one of the smaller ones was that they refused to read him bedtime stories. Absolutely fucking not. So he ignored the jealousy he felt towards his siblings and learned to read on his own very, very early on. He also cried the first time Sonic offhandedly offered to read him a story book.

× Tails is really good at hide and seek, specifically the hide part. He had to learn to be good at it if he wanted to avoid another bruise or broken bone. He doesn't really enjoy the role of seeker either, bro still hasn't found his parents (could've worded that more seriously but I'm in a silly goofy mood) as such he also doesn't like the game.

× And he feels the same about Tag. Not a big fan of being chased down for the sole purpose of than being faced with sudden physical contact. I'd say it gets better with time as most of his insecurities do, but he refuses the play as he ages up, he has no time for that!! He's a responsible adult now!! (He's 11)

× He's also really good at swimming cuz he had to learn how to swim, if he didn't want to get drowned multiple times over.

× He likes it best when he's sleeping on an elevated surface since thats where he felt the safest. Because no one would think to look for an animal who's most adapted to dig a burrow up between tree branches.

× Also one is really big fan of Tails' namesakes subconsciously twirling together into one when he's uncomfortable around someone. Even years later when he no longer feels any insecurity about them or his capability to defend himself, he kept the habit.

× Tails' fur coat is really thick and shiny now that he can properly take care of it. It hides a lot of scars and the visible ones are usually assumed to be from work accidents. Most of them are much older than his ability to tinker freely however.

× Now I bring to the table something sillier; Forever short king Tails. Listen I love older/adult Tails taller than Sonic as much as the other guy, mainly cuz I Understand that frustration of your younger siblings growing taller than you, but for today's angst purposes, he had (has) really poor nutrition and extremely stressful environment, which stunted his growth, so he shall be short forever.

× Tying into Tails not getting to eat as often when he was a literal toddler; while I generally don't feel the need to have explanations or extensive backstories for likes, dislikes and phobias of a character, someone said that when Tails was a tiny guy and starving, he learned that chewing on mint leaves helped satiate the hunger just a bit so mint remained as his comfort food and I hadn't been the same since

× And at last, way back when, all alone in a tiny cave he found and took refuge in from time to time, especially the days he felt not so well, he was almost sure he'd die of sickness once. Tails was no stranger to getting sick or wondering if hed make it through another day, but with this one he genuinely felt like he was dying. Since then, he has fully accepted that any night could be his last. For a kid not even in the double digits, he is pretty lax about the idea of suddenly facing death for good. Sonic is not a big fan of that.

#sonic the hedgehog #a low budge jumpscare to those that though tails exlusive angst is over >:)#these have been sitting in my head for a while and I at long last yelled them out into the void #*gently pats Tails' head* this little guy can fit so much trauma and worrysome habbits into him #love him sm #miles tails prower #tails the fox #sonic headcanons #silly brainworms

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faithshouseofchaos · 4 months

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Secret identity

Miss Americana and the heartbreak Prince — Prince Carlos sainz x reader part 5

Tag list still open

Tagged— @ashy-kit @alwayzbeenale @astraeaworld @67-angelofthelordme-67 @bblouifford @bbtoni @badassturtle13 @barcelonaloverf1life @cmleitora @crashingwavesofeuphoria @charlesf1leclerc @eugene-emt-roe @faithm120701 @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @ironcowboycopnickel @ironmaiden1313 @hollie911 @hrts4scarr @lightdragonrayne @lollypop90907 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @ladymarvel27 @natailiatulls07 @norrisleclercf1 @moss-on-tmblr @purplephantomwolf @vivwritesfics @vellicora @venusisnothere

Chapter five you learn just how much of a slob Carlos really is

As the weeks of Carlos' stay progressed his true self started to show a little more.

It started to be evident that he was messy, somewhat disorganized and lazy. It was almost comical how messy he was in so many ways.

You couldn't help but find it endearing in a way…

His bed was always undone, his clothes were always scattered and his half-drink cups were everywhere.

He didn't seem to mind his mess and his attitude was always carefree.

You tried to point out that he needed to clean more often and he'd always just laugh at your "mothering" him.

“Carlos we need to talk” you Said walking into his room.

"Yeah? What's up?" He replied from his bed that lay in complete disarray

"Your room is a disaster" you replied not even bothering to sit down instead just pointing at the piles of clothes that had been accumulated all over his room.

"So?" He replied with a light smirk looking at you as he laid there unbothered by the mess he was buried in

"Your room is dirty" you repeated

"I don't mind. In fact I quite like it this way" he confidently replied

“Ok but it really needs to get cleaned up so please take your dirty clothes to the laundry room and take the cups back to the kitchen” you said you felt like a mom with a teenage boy but in reality it was a messy grown man

"Alright alright, geez Mom" he replied jokingly and with a light hearted tone

He got up from his bed and began to pick up his clothes. As he walked out of his room he looked at you with a smirk on his face

"Happy?" He asked playfully

"No, I'm not happy. Do your chores properly" you playfully scolded him

He chuckled and went on to pick up the cups from the room.

It truly felt like a mother-sons relationship at times. But it was also oddly endearing in a way.

Carlos was reluctant to do any chores. This was something you had always complained about but he never took your scolding seriously.

You'd find him lounging around the house often in his bed as he would play on his phone or watch tv.

It was getting tiring to always be stuck with the chores as he took advantage of your willingness to do tasks.

The two of you continued your routine of you getting him to clean up after himself while he put up a playful fight. He even jokingly called you mom multiple times because of the way you scolded him

It was obvious he was taking advantage of your kindness. But as you saw him, laying on his bed and using you to do what he didn't want to do, you couldn't help but notice you found him rather cute…

“Ok pretty boy today is the day you learn how to wash your own laundry” you said standing in the door way

"Come on. I've never done laundry before. Please just do it for me" he replied with a pouty face

It was kind of cute but also annoying because you knew he was capable of doing the simplest task.

It was clear that he was just being lazy and taking advantage of you.

“Nope your 29 years old your learning to do your own laundry so let’s go”

"Can we do it together?" He asked with a sweet smile

"No. You don't need help doing simple chores. You're perfectly capable of doing this on your own" you replied playfully

"Please" he gave another pouty face and looked at you almost like a child would to get his mother to do things for him

“Alright I’ll show you how to do it once then that’s it”

"I'll take what I can get thank you mom," he replied sarcastically

You took him to the washer and showed him how to sort his clothing and what the different settings on the washer meant.

At the end of the lesson he asked if you'd help him fold the clothes as he needed help.

You agreed hesitantly as you didn't really want to help him any further but the pleading look he gave you made it really hard to say no…

You both sat together and began to fold the clothes in silence.

Carlos always seemed to enjoy your close proximity to him. He especially enjoyed the moment when you accidentally brushed up against him as you were showing him how to fold his shirts.

Although, you both stayed silent, you couldn't help but notice your hands brushed against each other a few times as the laundry task went on.

After you guys finished folding the clothes and putting them away you could tell that Carlos felt a sense of pride for completing such a simple task

"It really isn't that bad after all. Thanks for showing me how to do this" he said

"No problem. Just next time don't wait till you have to be forced to do a simple task" you replied

"Ok, ok I won't" he replied back with a light chuckle

"You promise?" You asked jokingly

"I promise" he replied

It was hard to tell if he was genuinely willing to keep this promise. But for now you gave him the benefit of the doubt and believed him to be a changed man.

After this it was obvious that he had truly changed a little. He was more willing to help you out around the house. He also started to put his dishes in the dishwasher instead of leaving them in the sink.

You also didn't have to remind him to clean his room anymore. He simply just did it himself. This was a huge improvement compared to before.

As the weeks went by Carlos gradually changed more and more he started to act more mature and independent.

It was almost uncanny how much he had changed after only a few weeks.

You couldn't help but find the changes in his personality endearing and attractive in some way.

He went from being completely reliant on you for most things to doing the majority of chores himself without being told.

He was no longer messy and lazy as he began to take responsibility for himself. He seemed to have taken to heart your previous complaints.

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vintagegoodytwoshoes · 8 months

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Being an artist was overrated. Or at least that’s what he thought now that he had been reprogrammed. Before, he had been one of the brightest shining stars of the city’s street art scene. But that was before he got caught tagging a wall of Mr Gunderson’s shoe store.

Mr Gunderson was tired of this kind of element in the town. Messy hair, torn up jeans, cropped shirts. It was disrespectful and now here was a so-called artist disrespecting his property. He wouldn’t stand for it.

When the artist awoke in Mr Gunderson’s shoe store, he wanted to scream, but found himself gagged. In front of him, the traditional man laughed. His hair was lacquered just so, his face clean shaven. His clothes neatly pressed. A thick pair of hornrimmed glasses sat on his face.

“The problem with boys like you is that nobody raised them right,” he said to the artist. “But you’re my son now and I expect you to behave properly.”

The artist scoffed at this ludicrous statement but when Mr Gunderson stepped aside, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and was shocked.

Mr Gunderson had drastically changed the artist’s appearance while he was unconscious. He had shaved the man’s prized beard, cut his hair to a well lacquered cut like his own, and put him in a starched short sleeve shirt, a well knotted tie, highwaisted slacks, white socks, and shined loafers. He looked like a goody two shoes.

“I know you don’t feel like this is your real life,” Mr Gunderson said as he reached into a drawer. “But you will.”

He pulled out a pair of hornrimmed glasses much like his own and approached the artist, slipping them on the now conformist man. At first, the artist wondered how these vintage glasses would make this feel more real, but then the artist stopped wondering.

Lights from within the glasses assailed his senses and he could feel his mind reeling. His memories of learning how to do graffiti came to forefront before being snuffed out.

He had never been an artist. No, he was Gilbert Gunderson, heir to the Gunderson Shoe Store and he had devoted his life to carrying on his father’s traditions. While other boys his age had rebelled, Gilbert has always wanted to be just like his dad: the same hair, the same conformist outfits, the same thick glasses, the same line of work.

And so Gilbert was untied and approached his position at the shoe shine station at his father’s store. He had served in this role for years, seriously shining the shoes of his father’s customers during the day and shining his father’s shoes at night. He didn’t need to be an artist, shoe shining was his art. And he was the best.

#vintage #vintage men #becomevintage #vintagemen #traditional masculinity #1950s aesthetic

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eddiesguitarskills · 1 year

Text

When We Were Young

Older Ex Eddie Munson x Reader

Other parts 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Intro : 5 years have past since you packed up and left behind Hawkins. Well not all of it, as the people you met there are still a huge part of your life. But it’s been 5 years since you had set a foot in the small town, 5 years since you left him. And now after all that time you were back.

Warning: angst, language, mentions of suicide, miscarriages, self harm, mental health. Arguments. Mentions of break ups. Female identity reader.

Bold parts are flashbacks

Word count: 4.5k

A/n: please only read if you are in a good place, I wouldn’t want this story to trigger or hurt anyone. Let me know if you wanna be tagged in the next part

Not prove read.

The phone rang and rang, the sound being drowned out by the tantrum of a toddler who didn’t want to go to bed. Her father couldn’t hear the phone as all he could focus on was trying not to shout at the little girl despite how frustrated he was. However, the phone kept ringing. Nancy was the first to notice the vibration of the item in the living room, “st-“, she looked over to her husband who was snuggling to get the PJs on their daughter. She chuckled at the little girl’s determination, Steve often said she got her stubbornness from Nancy. She walked into the living room and picked up the phone. “Hello Harrington residents-“ she was cut off “very formal paps”. Nancy smiled knowing exactly who this was, even without the nickname she would know who it was. Who else with a British accent would be calling their house?

“Y/n! We’ve missed you, you haven’t called in a couple of days, how are you?” You chuckle at the end of the line, “do you miss me that much?”. Truth be told it was weird for the Harrington household not to hear from you. Your daily calls were part of the family routine. Nancy knew that’s why her daughter’s temper had been so bad at the moment, she missed her aunt. “Well I wouldn’t say loads but..” Nancy joked, but then her thoughts started to consume her “Are you okay? Seriously though? nothing has happened?”.

You turned the faucet to pour the bath, tears only helping to fill it more -

It was hard not to think about it any time it was mentioned, no matter how many techniques you had learned to deal with the trauma. You knew what she was asking, she usually knew better, not to ask since the only people you ever talked about it to were your therapist and Steve your best friend. But Nancy couldn't help it when she was this worried. Her nails before looking beautiful red and long were now becoming chipped from her biting, a habit she thought she had got rid of in high school. The thought of you being hurt sent her back to then, and the anxiety she felt that night. She felt so uncomfortable, twitching in her skin waiting for you to reply.

You sighed on the other end “no Nancy” it felt weird for both to hear you use her real name, it had been a while since you hadn't called her paps. It used to be an occasional nickname you used for her, but when she got head editor at Hawkins post it only felt right for her to be permanently called that. “I'm okay, I promise. I have good news actually”. The anxieties began to wash from Nancy’s body, she exhaled not realise she was holding her breath. “Steve is going to kill me that you found out first, especially since it's kind of his fault I have good news. But you know Jeremy right? Jeremy slacks, well he was talking to the staff at school saying that they need a new drama teacher. And if they had any recommendations so Steve mentioned me. It’s the perfect job for me, I couldn't say no. So I'm moving back, I'm finally gonna be able to see Rosie grow up properly”.

The anxiety crept back but she didn't want you to know, so she put on the act she used when interviewing people when she was uncomfortable with them. She acted cool. “What? Rosie's gonna be so happy. When do you move back?”. You smile on the other end not realising anything was wrong. “Three weeks” Nancy hmmed to show she was listening. Knowing that Nancy was not the quiet type unless she was overthinking. You knew she was worried about the practicality of this, she was always a worrier. “Don't worry I'll have somewhere to live, my parents are gonna help me to find a house. Hopefully they don't try to move me in next door to them” you laughed, your aunt calls you from the other room. “Sorry paps I've gotta go but I’ll see you soon. Like really soon” the phone hangs up.

Once Nancy puts the phone back on the receiver she storms upstairs in search of her husband. The sound of their daughter had disappeared now, showing that she must be asleep. Nancy didn't even notice all she could think of was the call she just received. She walks into her room to find Steve, in his boxer about to go shower. His face beamed when he saw his beautiful wife, that was until he saw the distress that was written all over her face. “What's wrong?” he walked over to her, hoping to embrace her to hopefully take some of her burdens. He reached out to in gulf her into a hug, she pushed him away. “What were you thinking!?”. Steve was very confused, he racked his brain, did he do something wrong? He knew he must have to upset her this much. He didn't know what he did but if apologising made her feel better he would in a heartbeat. “I'm sorry”. Nancy crossed her arms “do you even know what you're sorry for?”

His plan to accept guilt didn't work out as well as he hoped. He looked to the floor in search of something to say before he could even muster out a word Nancy was speaking again. “I get you to miss her but she hasn't been able to set foot here since she left. What's different now?” The pieces of the puzzle were now all together. “Nancy she's ready, I know she is”. Nancy tries not to shout to wake her daughter but Steve’s carefree attitude was pissing her off. “How do you know that? We have to meet her in the city when she visits because of the triggers, YOU say it will cause by her being here”. Steve raises his voice “I know her better than anyone. She’s ready”. Nancy frowns, Steve, noticing, sighs and sits on the edge of the bed, running his hands through his hair. “I'm sorry... I just can't do it anymore. every day I'm waiting for the phone to ring so I can know she's okay. So I can know she hasn't hurt-” , he chokes as a lump forms in his throat.

Nancy makes her way over to him, getting on her knees him front of him. Holding his hands running circles over his palms to let him know she's there for him. “ I thought time would help it go away, but it doesn't. It's like no matter how happy I am, I can't get rid of the thought, the what if. I hate that the only way I can know she is okay is a call at night. There are so many hours in the day Anything could happen. What if something happened again and I'm not there this time? I can't stand it. I know it's selfish, but her life is here it always has been, it's just been waiting for her to come back and claim it. She's told me she thought about coming back loads I was usually hesitant thinking there were just words but a few days ago when we talked, she sounded so sure. I guess I got excited so I decided to give her a reason to come back. I'm sorry”. Nancy kissed the back of his hands “it's okay, you should have told me”. He nodded, tears rolling down his face, that he didn't realise were there. His wife brought her sleeve to his face wiping the tears “you should have told me everything, I'm your wife, your fears are my fears.” Steve smiles at his wife, kissing her head. “Thank you”. She smiled back “ I am happy she's coming back too. I'm just worried” a laugh falls from her lips “Rosie's gonna think Christmas came early” Steve copied her laugh.

Three long weeks later, you were all the group could talk about you. Except when he was around. The him that was currently stood in his bar talking to his staff about the tasks that needed to be done before he left, not aware that his world was about to be turned upside down again. “Also the band gets in at 8, make sure everything is safe and set up for them. And please no alcohol this time, they are underage I don’t want to get in trouble with the chief again”. The staff nod to show they are listening. “Just give me five minutes Sarah and I’ll give you the handover stuff”.

He walks into the back into a stock cupboard that has a small desk with paper and pens filling every surface, a bar stool and a phone hung poorly on the wall. He sits on the chair and starts to dial a number, picking at the holes in his jeans and waiting for someone to answer. “Hello?” Eddie smiles hearing one of his favourite voices “hi dusty bun” he laughs a little. “Eddie, how's work?” Dustin’s sounded warm upon hearing his friend's voice.

Eddie chuckles “why do you assume I wanna talk about work?”. Dustin laughs “that’s the only thing you talk about other than dnd”. Eddie rubs his hands over his face “god am I that dull?”. For the younger boy this could be further from the truth, Eddie was one of the coolest people Dustin had ever met. However, because of how well Dustin knew Eddie, he knew he would mock him for the compliment so he went with sarcasm. Something he had mastered from Eddie. “You’re the dullest person I’ve ever met. It’s exhausting being friends with you”. Eddie chuckled “I can’t be the dullest, you know Mike”. A dramatic gasp comes from the phone. Every day Eddie could see more of himself in Dustin and it worried him, not that he would ever say, but he hoped he would only get his humour and the rest from Steve. Dustin deserves the best in life and being another Edward Munson wouldn’t give him that. “I’ll tell him”, Eddie nods even though Dustin can’t see him “please do”.

He loved to annoy Mike, pretending he was the bane of his existence but he loved him, he loved all of his mismatched little group just some more than others. The only way he knew to show love was through teasing, maybe that was because of who his parents were. Even though most of his life he was brought up by his uncle who showed him, love, by being there but he also never knew the best way to show it. Maybe that was the Munson way. There was only one time he thought he knew what it meant to love conventionally but that was before everything.

You wait outside his trailer, minutes feel like an eternity, waiting, hoping, praying you would feel his warm embrace…

“I’ll tell him tonight” Eddie expects a laugh or joke, something but all he gets is silence. He worries that the signal has gone, “hello” he keeps repeating hoping this will somehow help the phone reconnect. “Fucking piece of shit” the phone slams back into its holder. There’s a tap on the office door “yeah”, Sarah walks in and sits on her boss's lap. She kisses along his jawline “What’s up Eds? ” he glares and moves her off of him. No one was allowed to call him that, the exceptions being, his uncle, Dustin once and you. The name was now a trigger to him and the slight mention made him tense. A word that used to sound sweet, was now venom to him. Any mention of that word caused him to relive things he would rather keep buried forever.

He is careful not to slam the door to announce his arrival. The more time he can practice what he needs to say the better. Mutters coming from him that would be hard to hear unless you were close. Flowers clutched tightly around his fist. The walk to your door was shorter than he had hoped…

She pouts hating to upset her boss/part-time lover “Eddie, baby I’m sorry” he doesn’t react, just saying anything to get rid of her. “best start on stock and things before they get here”. She crouches down so she can rub his legs. Hoping she could help relieve his stress. His eyes roll back the higher her hands roam, a small moan falls from his mouth. She smiles loving the feeling of being needed. The moment is interrupted by the harsh siren on the wall. Eddie raises from his seat making the girl’s hands fall from him “time to get back to work”. The girl stands up looking defeated, “have a good evening off Mr Munson” she leaves his office.

He Inhales and exhales hoping to get rid of any stupid thoughts that were still spiralling around his head. After doing this for a few seconds he picks up the phone, and before he even puts it to his ear he can hear the rambles of his younger friend. “Wow chill out Dustin”. He worries something bad had happened to the boy since they last spoke minutes earlier. “So you’re coming tonight?” Dustin’s voice came out a lot harsher than he meant as the fear took over his body. “Am I not welcome?” Eddie said confidently despite fearing the rejection of the closest person in his life. If he didn’t want him around who would, he thought.

Dustin stutters “of course you are, I just thought you couldn’t come”. Eddie smiled in relief “turns out when you’re own boss you can do whatever you want”. The phone falls silent for a moment, “shit not again!”. Eddie worries the signal has gone again, he taps the phone on the table hoping it will work. He raises it to his ear. “You there?”. Nothing.

He’s about to hang up when he hears breathing on the other end of the line. “You sure you wanna come tonight?”. This is the weirdest Eddie had ever seen Dustin act, there was no way he wouldn’t go now as he had to make sure his friend was okay. “Yes even if the Harrington’s have got something corny planned… see you at 7”. Dustin softly smiles “see you then”

Not realising Eddie had hung up the phone he continues to speak “Eddie she’s gonna be there so if you don’t wanna come you don’t have to” he waits for a response anything, but there was nothing. He looks down at the phone only to realise he was talking to himself. There was now no way to warn Eddie of what he was walking into.

You had only been back in town for an hour. At that time you had only briefly seen your parents when they picked you up from the airport. Despite Steve’s grumble about wanting to see you first, as you saw your parents a month ago and in his words “it was his right as your best friend to welcome you back”. He still got his way, as despite your knowledge you were dropped off not at your parent's house, not your new house, but the Harrington’s. Being the charmer he always was of course he convinced them to drop you at his house. Not that you were complaining, as soon as you entered the house you leapt into his arms, his arms felt so welcoming, like home. Something you hadn’t felt in a long time.

Steve knocked for the fourth time on the door, but there was still no answer. He knew it was rude to just invite himself in, but surely you wouldn’t mind since you had told him where the spare key was. Plus he hadn’t heard from you since you left the weepy voicemail an hour ago. He hated that he wasn’t home sooner to hear it. As the worry was eating him up and the key was in his hand he knew it was his right to welcome himself in. Repeating your name loudly but softly to not scare you, despite the fear he felt. He looked around the living room, the kitchen, and the dining room. Nothing. He started to make his way upstairs to look. While walking up the stairs he saw the light shine through under the bathroom door. A horrible sickly dread entered his body. He don’t know what came over him but he knew he had to get into that bathroom now…

Tears started to fall from both of the old friend's eyes. You had missed each other so much, more than you had realised. You suddenly felt a small force on your leg, break away from the hug, to see your goddaughter, Rosie. Rubbing your eyes before greeting the child. Then you reached down to her level and beamed at the precious girl in front of you. Trying to hold back tears that were seconds away from pouring again. She had grown so much since the last time you had met, her curls now long enough to be put into pigtails. “Hi Angel”, tears started to flow from the small girl’s eyes. She had missed you so much. You wiped the tears with your thumb from the little girl's eyes, “I’m sorry I was gone for so long”. Rosie sniffles “meanie”. You nod “I know I’m a sorry princess. You’ll never have to miss me again, I will always be here”. The girl pouted, she was happy at the thought of always having you around. But she was scared it wasn’t real unless. She stuck out her tiny pinky “prinky promise” she pronounced as well as she could. You smile. a tear escapes from your eye. You held both of your fingers together “pinky promise”.

After a tear felt welcoming from the final Harrington, Nancy. You were sat in the living room, Rosie’s head resting on your leg. She had tired herself out from sobbing before. Not that you could blame her all the crying made you tired too. You couldn't help the warm feeling in your heart from looking at your family, your home. Steve came in with a herbal tea, he placed it on the table in front of you, and took a seat in the armchair across from you, “thanks”.

You expected Nancy to come out as well and join so all of you so you could catch up. From the sounds of banging and frustrated sighs anyone could tell she was in the kitchen. Which was a huge surprise to you. You hadn’t been in Hawkins for a long time, but Nancy was Never, a cook. Not that she hadn’t tried, but she already had so many amazing talents, so what did it matter if there was one thing she couldn’t do? She was still perfection in your, Rosie’s and Steve’s eyes.

You leaned the upper half of your body towards your best friend, careful to not unsettle the small girl underneath you. Whispering loud enough so he can hear “what is Nancy doing in the kitchen? Isn’t it your best friend's duty to make sure I’m not poisoned on my first day back” you joked. “She’s not that bad”. You raised an eyebrow at Steve. “I swear she better, she doesn’t burn as many things as she used to”. You both chuckle “reassuring. But She doesn’t need to cook just because I’m back, I’m not classy I would happily have a KFC”. Steve's mouth watered at the thought of his favourite takeout that he had been trying to cut down on, scared of getting a “dad bod”. He would say it wasn’t cool for someone his age to have one. “Well she thought it would be nice, especially with everyone coming over”. Your mascara-stained eyes went wide. “Have you seen me?” signalling down to the tracksuit you had on for travelling, “I look a mess, I can’t see people like this”. You had never been one to worry about looks but messy raccoon's eyes and a tracksuit didn’t seem fitting for a welcome-back dinner.

After raiding Nancy’s closet for something that would fit, you came across a simple floral dress. Nothing spectacular but it was pretty. It was clear from the tag that Nancy had never worn it, but she insisted she didn't mind as she has received it for Christmas last year and it wasn't her style. She knew it would look beautiful on you. However, Nancy was always one of your biggest cheerleaders so if she was telling the truth or not you'd never know. You had also cleaned your face and put on mascara and Lipgloss you had in your bag. Feeling too bad to borrow more things from Nancy.

The couple were struggling to get the girl to bed before everyone came. Rosie has a serious case of Fomo. “I will only go to bed if auntie y/n takes me”. You would have done anything she said so you were more than happy to follow her orders. However, her parents knowing all too well knew her tricks. They knew she would make it so you couldn't leave her, showing you her puppy dog eyes, which even her parents weren't completely immune to. Meaning you were either going to have to stay in her room with her or take her to the party downstairs. So they thought it was best they did it, which made you sad, you would have honestly preferred to be stuck with the girl all night. Not that you didn't want to see your friends you were just nervous and you felt more comfortable around a 3-year-old, who you know wouldn't ask questions. Wouldn't judge. Wouldn't be scared you were gonna hurt yourself again. She would just be happy to be around her Aunt, probably talking your ear off about my little pony( her new fixation).

You sat in the living room again twiddling your thumbs, hating that could hear the sobs of Rosie upstairs asking for you. You wanted to go upstairs, hearing someone needing you so much was making your heart break but you knew you had to respect her parent's wishes, especially since they were the people you trusted most.

Bang. You jumped not expecting to be pulled away from your thoughts by a knock on the door. You hoped Steve would come down and answer it. You felt sick with butterflies. There was a knock again. You knew it was stupid to be scared to see old friends, but you could never help but feel awkward around them. When in the few times you had seen them since leaving, they all had the same glint in their eyes towards you. Fear. Maybe seeing you more now, showing that you had finally started to have your life ok track would stop that. You were being ridiculous, you knew they only worried because they cared, and it would be fine.

Upon hearing another knock, you held onto the sofa to get up scared your knees would fail you. You exhaled and put on the biggest smile you could. Waking over to the door. You grabbed the handle pulling it open, ready to welcome your friends. However, on the other side of the door was someone you still hadn't prepared yourself to see. You wanted to pitch yourself to make sure this wasn't a nightmare. ‘Ignore your heartbreaking and just keep smiling’ you told yourself. “Long time no see”. If anyone from far was watching they would have thought from the beam on your face, that you were greeting an old friend. But from Eddie’s face, you could tell it was anything but that. Well, his expression was hard to explain. But from his frozen body, it was clear he was shocked. You kept smiling trying to ignore the awkward interaction playing out. You moved your body to the side “come in”. He did but his facial expressions didn't change, he wouldn’t stop staring at you. “So how have you been?”

Steve came bounding down the stairs upon hearing the door shut, happy to be able to get away from his daughter's trauma. He stopped on the bottom step when he saw the unexpected guest. He wore the same face as Eddie. You looked between the pair, you needed Steve now more than ever so you were glad to see him. “Is she still crying for me?”. He nodded still staring at Eddie. You clear your throat you needed him, now wasn't the time to freeze up. He broke away from his trance, looking to you. “You know you should probably go up and see her”. You knew what he was trying to do but you didn't want to unsettle the girl more just because you were uncomfortable. “Steve I don't wanna make her worse”. His brows came together, how was he supposed to help if you wouldn't listen? “Fine do you mind helping in the kitchen just while Nancy is finishing up?”. You nod, leaving for the kitchen. As soon as you left the room a smile fell from your face. You thought you were over it but meeting those brown eyes brought up memories you wish you could forget.

“God why are you so controlling?”, you turn around to face him astonished by his accusation. “I'm trying to help, if you don't wanna do it fine. I just thought you might need some legal cash when you finally graduate”. He flinched. You knew you shouldn't have mentioned that word, it being a sore spot as this was his second time trying to graduate. You also knew you shouldn't mention the drug dealing, an awkward topic in your relationship as you always knew he was better than that life. You knew how sour his mood was about to become, so you were ready to make an apology when you were cut off. “I get it, you don't think I'm good enough to make it? You wanna stick me in some shitty job, so I'm stuck here forever. While you get to go live your dreams. Do you want me to be your little housewife and have food on the table ready for when you get back from your big successful job?”. How could you trying to help turn out so bad? You were always his biggest believer of him, and this was how he was treating you. You weren't sure if you should even mention the baby at this point.

Steve finally left the bottom step. He hated how sick this situation made him feel, it felt like was he responsible to make you happy, and this way the furthest away from that. However, he also didn't want to make his other friend feel unwelcome. Even if his loyalties were with you, he knew how awkward it can be to see an ex. He placed a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, breaking the man free from his frozen demeanour. “Eddie I didn't expect to see you here. Dustin said you had work”. The long-haired man scoffed “I guess there were things we both didn't know”.

#Spotify #older eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x yn #stranger things imagines #stranger things angst #eddie munson fic #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson x you

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daenerysies · 3 months

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To consider one character more interesting than another is not sexism. Yes, Aegon has done nothing to prove that he is worthy of the throne - no one disputes that. This does not prevent the greens from supporting him in any way, because - you know, these are imaginary characters, not real elections of the future ruler. It's not about "she's a woman" or "she's unworthy of the tone" - it's just that she's not interesting to everyone as a character. If Rhaenyra were a more interesting character for me, I would support her. No one cares who is worthy and who is unworthy, you just choose a character that you like and support him. The blacks take it all too seriously, really.

another green stan finding something to complain about, i see? what a shocker. you’re coming up with excuses that i’ve heard a million times before. nothing about my posts mentions anything to do with finding a character more interesting. nothing about my posts mentions anything about worthiness besides saying that aegon isn’t (which he HIMSELF agrees with, as you all like to butt in with). so why are you here, in my inbox, taking it so seriously? aegon isn’t real. he’s not going to smite you for not telling yet another team black member that he’s the most interesting character ever. ‘it’s never that serious’ until you can’t leave someone alone who tagged their post properly. if i wanted to deal with aegon’s questionable fanbase i wouldn’t have put the anti tag in front of anything green related.

i could not give less of a fuck if you think aegon is a more enjoyable character, or if you find team green to be the pinnacle of fiction. it’s all subjective at the end of the day. i didn’t just call the other anon (unless you’re the same, you’re delusion is making me think so) sexist (and actually, the only thing i called sexist was the talking point, so why are your panties in such a twist?) for no reason. this is a song of ice and fire, a book series that deals with very real, very serious topics that happened throughout history. rape isn’t something to make light about. gendered violence isn’t something to make light about. that og talking point is sexist, whether you want to admit it or not. one doesn’t just go around pointing out every single minuscule negative detail about a woman and turn around to praise a man for the exact same reasons and come out not being referred to in a way that they deserve.

if you view aegon as more interesting, good for you! once again, i don’t care. stop anonymously going after people for points that you’re pulling out of your ass to be mad about. really weird that THAT was the comparison needed to make all greens get up in arms. yet they still can’t properly debate over it because they continuously fall into the ‘what about- *insert an entirely different topic*.’ it’s honestly such a shame, really. i kind of enjoy telling you guys to find a hobby.

anons are off until you and your entourage of weirdos learn how to behave like normal people with basic media literacy skills.

#protecting my peace bc oh boy #do y’all love to find just about anything under the son to be pissy about #go love on your ‘fav’ characters to someone who gives a fuck #anti team green #anti team green stans #anti aegon ii targaryen #anti aegon ii stans #it’s always the same dumb bitches telling each other ‘exactlyyyyyy’

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downywrites · 9 months

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I still haven't learned how to tag properly :')

"N-now, now. We don't need to be so h-hasty, do we?"

Heizou took a step back, eyes flicking back and forth to the walls surrounding him. The shadows blocking the only way out chuckled, each in their own unique way. The detective cursed his lack of foresight: he knew reinforcements were to come, especially in one of this specific band of treasure hoarders' bases.

He hadn't, however, expected them to be here as quickly as they were. The anemo user had been doing fine taking down the waves of thieves, before the sound of footsteps forced him to take flight. It was just his luck, then, that the hoarders had so many dead ends in their base.

His face paled as they drew near, blocking out what little torchlight there was to see their (probably triumphant) faces. Holding his fists up in a fighting stance, he narrowed his eyes at them. "Seriously, guys. I was just assigned to check your stuff, nothing more! Why don't we settle this with a little slap on the wrist and I'll make my way out!" The redhead chuckled nervously as they backed him further into the wall behind him. Icy cold stone grazed his back. "Ah!- C-come on, wait a minute. Let's talk this ou-"

In the darkness, someone's hand grabbed his wrist. "Stop talking." Instinctually, his other hand came up to punch at the attacker. However, in the almost pitch darkness, his fist found air. His heart beat like a jackhammer as the grip on his arm tightened. "Boys, get him. Don't let this one escape."

If the situation as a whole did not set him off already, the obvious threat made his adrenaline spike. "N-No!" He swung again, eyes widening in the darkness as his other wrist was caught. Pulling at his arms and kicking at the men's legs, he felt a few of his strikes hit the target. A grunt of pain made him grin a panicked smile. "Ow, he got me!"

Another laugh from the first hoarder made his hair stand on end. "Too bad we already got him. Knock out the shrewd little thing. We've got a special tip from someone about this one. And besides, I think it'll be fun to mess with him after all that arresting he's been doing." A pressure on his neck made him gasp and kick out again frantically. 'No, no, no, no!' Even as he struggled, though, he knew it was fruitless. He had no advantage in this situation, especially with him being pinned in such a way. The pressure increased. The sensation of incoming unconsciousness soon followed. With the last of his strength, the anemo user sent out a weak blast of air from a kick, hoping that someone-anyone- would notice his absence.

The leader of the group grinned as he went limp in his hold. "You know what to do, right?" The others made their assent known. "Tie him up to the interrogation rack. You know the intel, right? I think he'll be more than ready to talk."

–

Heizou awoke to the sound of..nothing. Odd. The area that he lived in was noisy. So why..?

"Ah, look who's awake. Took you long enough."

A hand, certainly not one of his fellow detectives, scratched under his chin condescendingly. Eyes snapping open in both surprise and fear, Heizou tugged at his arms. The rough texture scratching at his skin made him wince. "What-?" It took a few moments of blearily looking around at his very unfriendly surroundings, however, for him to realize what had happened before he lost consciousness.

Glancing at all the people standing around him, he chuckled nervously. "Ah, I guess I have an audience." The treasure hoarder's hand moved to his cheek, a spot of prickling warmth he wanted to pull away from. "That you do. Now, I've heard that you've stuck a lot of our men in the slammer. Tell us where they are and how to get them out.. and you run free." He left the unspoken threat out of his words. "So, little prodigy..are you going to be a good pal and tell us, nice and easy? Or are we going to have to give you a little more 'hospitality' here?"

Heizou hesitated, eyes flickering to meet his for a split second. He stopped, turning away from him. It could have been mistaken for shyness. Moments later, the chortle he let out rang within the warehouse. Shoulders shook in the dumbfounded silence. "...really? You think threatening me with pain's going to help your case?" A crooked grin spread across his face as he looked back over to the shocked man. His eyes glittered with mischief. "Oh, do go on. Anything you say against me could be and will be used against you in court."

The leader rolled his eyes. "Oh, great. This again. Anything new? Every government official and their mother says this stuff to us."

"But never under pressure," Heizou replied. "Nobody I know would be gutsy enough to do this. And the only reason I'm doing it is because I know you can't do anything to me."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Because if you hurt me.. I wouldn't tell you a thing. There is nothing you can do to rattle me. Nothing has been able to shake me, even during the most rigorous training underneath my higher-ups." Confidence oozed from his voice as he spoke. "What could you possibly do that they haven't already trained me for?"

From his spread-eagle position, Heizou was in no way able to escape (or even anticipate) the soft, sudden sensation from behind him. A single finger, teasing and testing the waters, barely grazed at one of his exposed ribs. Eyes widening, he squeaked at the touch.

He turned away from them to hide his blush, but there was no way they hadn't noticed one, if not both, of the telltale reactions. 'Please tell me they're not going to do something outside of my training regimen. Please, please tell me they're not.' The person behind him chuckled. "I think you were right about that intel, boss. The kid detective's a wee bit ticklish." Blood rushed away from his cheeks, before returning with a passion. "H-hey! First of all, not a kid. Second of all, d-don't even think about it! I-I'm not that ti-er.." His voice gave out mid sentence. "Ti-tickl.." He hoped to any archon listening that they didn't notice his failure to deliver.

It seemed that they were not listening.

"Aww, the kid's so ticklish he can't even say it! And he's so flustered that he didn't even pick up on the fact that one of his lil detectives ratted him out." Heizou's mind snapped back into focus. 'Wha- somebody gave them intel..? But who would-' The stream of thought he had was readily silenced by another light whisper over his ribs. He bit back a whimpery laugh, eyes scrunching closed. The leather creaked as he tugged on his wrists again reflexively. 'Damn it, I can't focus when these people are around me! I need to get the info to headquarters before something else gets through. But first..'

"W-what did they say about me? That I would be here at this time?"

Wine-colored hair got into his face as he whipped around to find the person who spoke in the darker areas of the room. A small reflection, most likely a coin from the size of the blip, shifted in the general area. "Oh, no, no. All they said is that you'd be too hard to crack the normal way." They moved closer, revealing a smirking face and a wiry, thin frame that reminded him of an old, ragged cat he saw on the streets a few days ago. "Oh, and that you're a little tick-lish." The space in between the two syllables was drawn out with another flip of his coin. Surely, this man was up to no good.

A small shiver went up his spine as the person behind him followed the edge of his rib. "Gh! Cut it out!" The person smiled, ruffling in his coat for something. The dark shade of the vesture gave him no idea of where his body began and where his clothing ended. If Heizou was in any state to do so, he'd taunt him with that idea. Whoever was behind him was not making that action an option, though. He wasn't sure if the person would speed up or move. Any show of weakness could mean his 'demise', of sorts. "Ah, there it is~" He pulled out an artifact, red and white with a gleaming shimmer in the thin lighting. Shifting it around so the light bounced off of it, he made eye contact with the steadily more nervous detective. "Oh, don't look at me like that. It's not going to hurt you." The man moved closer. "Unless you're nervous that you'll let something slip when we're tickling you?"

Heizou had nowhere to go. Eyes wide and worried, the anemo user tugged at his hands again as he neared him. He shook his head. "D-don't you dare. Don't you dare!"

Slowly, almost painfully, the feather grazed the underside of his chin. His mouth wobbled a bit, tugging at a small smile. For the second time, he squeezed his eyes shut to avoid the looks he was bound to get. "E-he!" His 'attacker' chuckled, a sharp, almost acrid sound in the near silence around him. "Aww, look at him! Such a big, dignified detective, but he can't even keep himself from giggling at a stranger's touch!" The murmurs of assent around him only made the light touch worse. Heizou tried tucking his chin. A gloved hand grabbed him gently by the jaw. A warning. "Ngh-hehe!"

"That's the spirit, kid. Look, I don't think anyone here wants to rough you up too bad. We ain't that mean, we know you prefer sweet-talking. Nevertheless, even the sweetest talker knows at least a little info we need.." Heizou squirmed around weakly, protesting through his choked laughter. "Noho, cohome ohon! Thahat's nohot fahair!"

"Not fair? I think we're being pretty nice by giving you all this time to get used to us tickling you. Unless you want us to go faster?" He shook his head no, but the treasure hoarder ignored it with a knowing smile. "Oh, of course I will! Anything for such a cute little detective." The tease in his voice made him whine through his protesting. "N-NoHo! Ihi dihihidn't sahahay thahat!" Fingers dragged across his jaw, stopping the insistent spark of ticklish energy in favor of teasing at the sensitive skin. With the last little bit of self restraint, Heizou stopped himself from giggling too giddily at the gentle touch. If he showed he actually didn't mind this too much…

Unfortunately, it seemed like one of the sharper-eyed criminals noticed his relatively carefree behavior. "You know, for all of that protesting, you don't seem to be pulling away from Boss' hands. Do you..like this?" His eyes, already scrunched from his forced smile, scrunched closed again in a weak effort to ignore the tease that set his stomach aflutter. "Nahaha! Ihihi dohoho nohohot!" Even as he spoke, their boss' hand trailed over his sweet spot with little knowledge of where he was touching, grazing his nails over his trembling jawline and scratching ever-so-lightly behind his ears. He leaned in with a small smile. "I don't think lying will help you right now, detective. Anyone with a sense could see that someone who is as strong as you could definitely have struggled more than you have." His retort came out strangled and desperate. "Nohohot soho! Ihihi knohohow behehetter thahan toho trihihiy!"

Almost without warning, the hands that traced up his ribs before found his ribs again, scribbling in the divots with pinpricks of blunt pressure. The sensation ripped through his body like a shock of cold water, forcing a gaspy squeal out of his throat. Whoever was behind him found that amusing, a soft cloying chuckle ringing in his ears from their mirth. "Ohh, how cute. He squeals, darling! I wish we could 'interrogate' him forever!" Unable to escape the tickles, he squirmed against his bonds with a renewed sense of desperation. The woman behind him (he guessed it was a woman), however, gave him no way to relieve himself of the sensations. Her honeysuckle voice dripped with the sweetest honey as she teased him in more ways than one.

"Do you think this cute little detective's sweet spots are on his chin and jawline? Because his cute little giggles were to die for then~" He shuddered at how spot on she was. "Oh, I think that was a yes." And, before he had any way to refute that, her nails scraped lines over his upper ribs, slipping underneath his clothing to tickle the soft, covered skin with a little giggle. "Eee! Nohoho mohohore, plehehease! Nohoho mohohore!" Heizou couldn't believe his own words. 'Begging? Because of…this? How low can I go?'

If the people around him thought the same, they didn't say anything about it. A few of them muttered little comments to each other, setting his nerves on edge. 'What are they saying about me? Ugh, this is worse than I thought. I need to get out, and fast!' The treasure hoarder in front of him finally spoke again. "So, Shikanoin-san…will you talk?" The woman behind him slowed her touch to a tortuous slide of nails against his ribs, moving upwards to his exposed underarms. He tugged at his arms uselessly, before shaking his head. "Ihihi wohohon't gihive ihihin toho thihis!"

"Ahh. That won't do. Darling?" The woman spoke with an excited lilt to her voice. "Yes, dear?"

"I think we'll need to wreck him. As you expected."

The words sent a shiver down his spine. Small flashes of anemo flickered around him, lashing in desperation at the lady behind him. If she paid it any attention, Heizou didn't know. "N-no, dohon't!" Her nails dragged burning lines to the edge of his underarms. A raspy chuckle from the man in front of him and another hand making contact with his trembling bicep. Biting back a whine and turning away from the two of them as well as he could, he flushed deeply at the embarrassing pre-emptive giggles that spilled from his unwilling mouth.

He couldn't stop himself from squealing when her hands finally scribbled in his underarms. The shocks of ticklish energy made him buck and squirm like he was actually in pain. "AHA! NAHAHaH- PlEhEAHASE!" As if spurred on by his pleading, the nails focused more on the spot that made his arms tug on his restraints. "Nuh uh, no mercy for you until you give us the location. We have all day, little cutie~ oh, and we have tools, too! Isn't that fun?" Wound up and sensitive from all her teasing, the ticklish haze he was in did not do his usual eloquence justice. Instead of snarking back like he intended, all that came out was garbled, breathy laughter. "Seriously, hun. Can we keep him? His blushy little face and his sweet little laugh is something I'd wanna hear every day!"

Through teary eyes, he saw the outline of the leader circle behind him as well. Underneath all of the teasing, fluttering sensations, a burst of panic seized him. It must have shown in some way, because the man soothed him with a pat to his shoulder. "Don't worry, kid. I'm not going to hurt you." That gave him little comfort. His hands, rough but very, very careful, skirted down his ribs to squeeze at his sides. He smiled at the squeaky, pleading laughter that Heizou couldn't tamp down well enough. Alternating between scribbles and insistent kneading at the firm muscles there made the poor detective babble out nonsense. The female treasure hoarder cooed at the sweet reactions he made. "Oh, detective~ What's wrong? Speak up, sweetie. I can't understand you."

"EeE! PlEHe- aha! Naha! IhiIEE!" The detective threw his head back, trashing about in his bonds as well as he could muster. Unable to beg for mercy or speak in a coherent way from the fuzzy haze of overstimulation and embarrassment, he did his best to squirm away from their curious fingers. Fingers shifted from his underarms to rub slow circles in the hollows in a weak calming gesture. Teary-eyed, his laughter calmed down enough for him to beg properly within a few minutes. "Plehehease, noho! Mehehercy, mehercy! Ihihi cahaHAn't tahaHake thihihis!"

The treasure hoarder hummed, as if he was lost in thought. "Hmm…how about no? Luhu, get me the blindfold and the tools. Don't let him see them." Luhu, whoever that was, made a noise of affirmation. Another shot of adrenaline filled his senses. Of course, nothing came of his struggling and small flickers of fearful (but mostly desperate) anemo. Without his vision on his hip, it was nigh impossible to channel his flow of energy. It didn't help that he couldn't move enough to generate enough energy to begin with.

As the footsteps behind him got louder and quicker, and as the sound of a table being settled behind him came and went, he sagged in the bonds with defeat. If he was any lesser of a detective, he would have accepted his fate with a tone of fear-tinged despair. Fortunately (and this was the only thing he found fortunate about this) he was strong enough to keep his chin up.

After the noises subsided, the silence in the room made the already existing butterflies in his stomach take to even more perilous flight. He clenched his fists together, tightening his grip until his nails dug deep lines into his palms. "So, are you going to talk to me now, detective?" Heizou shook his head weakly. "I-I won't." He squared his jaw and tucked his chin in to protect himself. A hand, gentle on his heated skin, tilted his head back up. "Nuh uh. Keep your head up so we can hear your pretty little giggles. I want to hear you babble through your laughter, cutie." Whining softly at the sweet lilt of her voice, the detective did his best to ignore the butterflies that took flight in his stomach. A slow, burning line of sensation sparked in the edge of his jawline as her hand moved. The other treasure hoarder grinned at the silent sign of submission.

Eyes the color of sand darted about nervously as his footsteps neared his restrained form once more. "A-ah?!" His hand explored his ribs again, grazing against the raised ribs with much less finesse. Even though his inexperience with such actions was obvious, the poor anemo user was too wound up to take much more than what the two of them were dishing out. So, as a soft brush scraped against his bicep, the couple weren't surprised at the subsequent gasp and violent jerk from the bound man.

"No- plehehease dohohon't!"

"Aww, begging again? Already? Maybe you're more wound up than we thought you'd be."

His breath hissed between his teeth as he bit down. Copper bloomed in his mouth. He didn't mind it. Thrashing about as the bristles sent sparks up and down his arm, a small, garbled plea escaped through his defenses. If the interrogators noticed the way he had bit through his skin, they didn't say a word. Continuing to tease with the softest of touches, their hands and tool sent more shivers down his spine than he thought was possible. He was a strong detective, and yet…

The ticklish energy spread through his body, leaving him defenseless, weak.

He hated it. And yet, when the brush danced from the edge of his arm and teased the back of his ears…he couldn't do anything but whimper through his light laughter. "His face is so cute…look at him, darling!" Tucking his chin into his chest to protect himself was the only option that went through his head. A hand darted out to tug his head up again. "Hmm. I thought you'd behave after all that begging. Guess I was wrong."

The treasure hoarder's hands dug into his sides without warning, forcing a bark of startled laughter from him. "There we go. No more of your little misbehaviors, or we'll make this worse for you." His cheeks reddened at the way his voice failed him. "A-AHahA! IhIHi- ehe!" The woman's brush sent tingles down his spine as it scraped against the back of his neck. His hair raised at the soft, almost nonexistent touch. "Ple-EhEASE!"

At the first coherent word they had been able to rip from his unwilling throat, the two of them leaned in to listen. The gesture was almost condescending, a mockery of the way they thought of him before. Heizou didn't have the energy to worry about it.

"I-ihi'll tahalk."

#downywrites #lee!heizou #genshin impact tickling #genshin tickle #my writing #my fics

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maochira · 1 year

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After reading Noa, Chris and Lavinho as father figures I can only imagine them giving the reader "the talk", just because they saw him talking very closely to a teammate or a friend. Chris is 100% the kind of father figure who says "you're at an age where your hormones are crazy, you need to understand a lot of things" and Lavinho wouldn't be ashamed to give the talk to the reader, making it clear that it's totally normal at his age. BUT NOA WOULD BE SO EMBARRASSED, HE KNOWS TALK IS NECESSARY BUT SHY TO TALK.

I LITERALLY CAN NOT STOP GIGGLING ABOUT THIS. IT'S SO TRUE. Omg that just really makes me want to write more for these headcanons and make them like a series,,, so request some stuff in asks!!!

The headcanons mentioned: Noa, Chris and Lavinho becoming your father figure

Series masterlist

Tags: gn!reader, sexual themes mentioned but nothing explicit, the headcanons linked above are good to know for context but not needed (basically reader has neglecting parents or no father figure in their life, so Noa/Chris/Lavinho decided to be their father figure), reader is a teenager

Giving "the talk" (headcanons)

Noel Noa

-he's so unsure about what you know already and what you don't know yet, but he really wants you to be educated so nothing bad happens. Like, he's pretty sure you learned about it in school but he wants to be double sure. Also, he thinks it's better for him to explain because then you can ask him questions if you have any

-also, he doesn't trust your biological parent(s) to educate you properly, so like many other things about you, he makes it his job to take care of

-Noa is definitely the type of guy to write notes on his hand or arm to look at so he can really make sure he won't forget anything

-he keeps telling himself "today I'll talk to them about it" then he gets too nervous about it and doesn't. It takes him at least 3 weeks until he finally drops the "I think there's something I need to talk about with you"

-he does it during one of those car rides in the rain after soccer practice. But he stops in some parking lot to talk to you about it

-and it ends up being easier for Noa than he expected. To his surprise, you were fairly well educated already, but there were still things you didn't know yet. So giving you "the talk" was a good decision

Chris Prince

-unlike Noa, he didn't put any thought into it before. I mean, he didn't get the chance to. Him giving you "the talk" happened very much out of nowhere for Chris, because you were the one who asked him about it

-he's a bit surprised, but also happy and proud that you trust him enough to ask him about something like this

-he's serious throughout the entire talk, making sure you understand everything properly

-he would repeat over and over how important consent for everyone involved is and how it's okay to say no and stop, even throughout "the act"

-when the conversation is coming to an end, he tries to make everything more lighthearted by saying some jokes but he would also be serious at the same time, making sure you know you can ask him any questions at any time

Lavinho

-not embarrassed or nervous at all, although he does think about how to address it to you for a couple days

-is very open and doesn't mind talking to you about this, it's a normal thing after all. And hey, you're very much like father and kid so he has to be the one to educate you, because no one else will do it well if he doesn't

-I feel like usually, even during serious conversations with you, he tends to goof around a lot to make you laugh every now and then, but this time he doesn't

-okay that was a lie he would definitely drop a random deez nuts joke in the middle of it and then continue talking as seriously as before, as if the joke never happened. If you continue laughing, he would tease you with "Uhmmm what's so funny??? This is serious" and then laugh along with you for a bit, before returning to a serious tone again

-he would mainly talk about how a lot can happen emotion-wise during puberty, not just related to "the talk", and that everything is completely normal

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tavyliasin · 4 months

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BG3 FicFeb NSFW - Day 3

I'll be honest with you darlings I had every intention of making this one spicy but then feelings happened? Still, it was fun to write, and an interesting scenario I might re-use at a later date. Shortfic below the cut (still NSFW) with some CW/Tags for angst, hurt/comfort, scars, wounds, mention of character trauma, but I promise it is mostly on the fluffy comforting side~

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Day 3 - Body Worship

It had been far too long since Tav had found an opportunity to bathe properly. Not just scrubbing off with a damp cloth, or dunking into a freezing lake, a proper warm bath. Of course, taking advantage of having access to a brothel’s finer rooms whilst investigating a disappearance was something she took very seriously. She had to be completely certain she wouldn’t miss a vital clue amongst the perfumed soaps and soft towels. Who knew when the last piece of information they needed might be at the bottom of a wine bottle, or lurking in the bowl of fresh fruit…

“Well, that is certainly better than a murky pond.” Astarion echoed her thoughts as he sank into the water beside her. “Gods that feels good.”

“We should take up the role of investigators more often.” Tav chuckled, reaching for the silver bowl that held a fresh sponge and some soaps. “Here, let me, for once.”

“You don’t need to-”

“I want to.” She left little room for further complaint, taking his hand in her own and delicately sponging away the dirt that seemed to cling to his nails.

“I am not about to break, you know.” He watched her with an eyebrow raised as she continued to be far more gentle than he felt he deserved.

“I know.” If anything, Tav slowed slightly, taking a moment to caress his fingers reverently. “But the world has been rough enough with you lately. Is there anything wrong with a little tenderness instead?”

“Yes- No. Maybe.” He wasn’t even sure what he was trying to say as she brought his hand to her lips and kissed each fingertip in turn. “You…Well…” He sighed, giving in to her care instead for now.

“Relax, Astarion, please.” She trailed a line of kisses up his forearm to his elbow, her fingers gently brushing the faint lines of decades old scars and far fresher bruises marking his pale form. “You know, you really are beautiful.”

“I know.” He replied, out of reflex. “Sorry, old habits… I suppose truly I have no idea if I am or not, other than the parts of myself I can see clearly. Even the water doesn’t hold my reflection any more.”

“Then let me be your mirror.” She smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair that threatened to fall forwards into his eye. “Now, where was I?”

Tav began to wash his other hand and arm, with the same reverence she had used before, but this time giving voice to the thoughts that floated through her mind as she did.

“Here, your fingers. I could comment on how skilled they are, how you can make me feel, but what I admire most is how they always find a solution. You’ve picked locks, disarmed traps-”

“You can do that just as well as I, my love.” He protested, though just as quickly his arguments met their rebuttal.

“Maybe, but you were the one who unlocked my heart.” Tav laughed at the absurdity of her own statement. “It’s cheesier than an entire dairy, I know, but it’s true. I spent my whole life just going from one fling to the next, living each day like it might be my last. Living like that…well you just don’t think of a future. Or who you might spend it with. It was better to just enjoy what I could when I could. Besides, attachments could be exploited.”

“And you see a future now? With tadpoles in our brains, and the threat of an actual mindflayer Elder Brain looming quite literally over our heads?” Despite his words, his expression was soft in the low light of the room.

“I see one worth fighting for.” She leaned forwards and stole a kiss, but only for a moment, pulling back to leave him wanting more.

“Such a tease, my love.”

“I learned from the best~” She put on the hint of a flirtatious tone to match his voice. “Anyway… Here. This part next.”

“A scar, darling? Really?” He almost pulled his arm back, like her touch burned the mark deeper into his skin.

“This was not long after we met. I remember worrying that you might lose too much blood if the wound were just a fraction to the left.” Tav dipped the sponge in the warm bathwater again and carefully cleaned the area, rinsing off the soap when she was done. “But that’s not what I think most when I look at it, or any of the other marks that battle has left upon you.”

“Enlighten me, what is it that you see in such a blemish?” Astarion frowned, struggling to see what she meant.

“Endurance. A fight that didn’t end you. A strength that goes beyond what you can lift in your arms.” She sat back a moment, the myriad of scars across her own body clearer to see as she gestured to them. “Something we share, our will to live, and to be more than the world tried to make of us.”

“Well…I suppose…” He sighed, looking closer at Tav’s form now. Subtle muscles and soft curves, the map of old wounds telling as many stories as his own, and not one of them diminished her beauty in his eyes. “There is some charm to them, maybe.”

She continued to cleanse the sweat and marks of the long days from his body with tender care, her praise like a balm to the bruises on his soul. She almost paused when it was time to move around to his back. “Is it alright if I…?”

“There is nobody I trust more to resist the urge to put a dagger between my ribs.” He mimicked the motion playfully with empty hands as he spoke. “Oh no need to be so serious, my darling, the point is that I trust you. Completely.”

The vampire shifted, turning his back to her. The view was always a painful one - he was free, but the marks remained, the knowledge of the pain in their making broke her heart if she let those thoughts back in. “Even this,” she began carefully, “has never once diminished your worth.”

Tension rose in his shoulders, even as she tried to massage it away. “A poem of subjugation is all that is, a beautiful lie that promised power.”

“And yet you are more powerful than ever, you didn’t let the lie consume you. How about this instead.” She put the sponge aside, and began carefully tracing her own pattern across his back as if overwriting the scars his past had left. “I’ll write my own verse for you, let it erase the old one.”

“What is it exactly that you’re writing?” A hint of worry tinted the curiosity in his voice as it dropped a little quieter than it had been before.

She leaned forward and whispered close in his ear. “My wedding vows.”

#bg3ficfeb #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion x tav #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 #fanfic #a tav's guide #hurt/comfort #body worship #angst #scars #a vow beneath the scars #overwriting the past with something beautiful

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jitterbugjive · 3 months

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I hate that people can easily find the stupid and shitty things I said and did over 5 years ago and jump to the conclusion that that's who I am, and there's no easy way for anyone to see all the efforts I've been making since then to NOT be that person. It's hard to find all my apologies and explanations because I didn't tag them all properly. I've tried time and time again to explain that I was mimicking the behavior bad adults gave me when I was growing up and that no one really called me out on that behavior until it was too late. I've tried to explain that since then I've been going through extensive therapy to separate bad learned behavior from who I want to actually be. There's so much more to this whole story than what one small chunk of the internet is making it out to be. People who actually know me know that this has been eating me up constantly and that I am always living in fear of losing everything to this drama.

especially since some of that info takes quotes out of context, jumps to conclusions that aren't true, or flat out lies about what certain artworks are depicting or meaning to convey (Like claiming a grown ass adult is a child even tho I have proof the character looks totally different as an adult than as a child, or claiming that a shock piece meant to make people reel back in horror was a fetish when it was not at all that)

It takes clips of things without the full picture and puts words in my mouth.

Here's a little something about how I used to talk about sore subjects: I would make a controversial sounding statement, but then I would explain myself in a way that would show the statement wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. A lot of the time they just take that bad statement and paste it for the world to see, without giving any of that context of me explaining why I said that and why it's not what it sounds like.

I wish people were smart enough to spot cherry picking when they see it, but they just aren't. They'll see one sentence, and someone saying "look they're supporting this bad thing" and that's all they need to think that's what it is. People aren't smart enough to really ask questions and try to understand a situation, all they want is face value to tell them how to think and feel.

People aren't going to bother to listen to me because I'm "the bad guy" and I'll "say anything to cover my ass".

Listen, if I was really that horrible of a person, don't you think there would be more evidence out there that is very clear and blunt and not just making assumptions on what a thing means?

I'm never gonna sit here and say what I said and did wasn't wrong, it was, but it was not done because I was trying to be a terrible person or prey on anyone. It was because I was insanely misguided by someone who groomed me for 5 years since childhood and then abused me for another 3 in a really toxic relationship. And then I never got HELP for it, I never got therapy to cope with it, I never even realized until way later that 'holy shit this person was 7 years older than me and was taking advantage of me the whole time'. Like I knew they were abusive but adults being friends with children was so normalized in my head, and throughout my life many adults or older kids exposed me to things I shouldn't have been and it skewed in my head what was appropriate behavior or not. Or what was okay to draw or not. And a lot of my opinions were formed around this adult who convinced me things like loli/shota were fine as long as they were strictly made up, and he fed me a lot of nonsense about what does and doesn't make a predator to cover his own ass. I was seriously fucked up almost beyond repair for a long time.

I have a warning on my blog now that minors shouldn't be following me, I make it a point to not ever work with minors on projects or talk to a minor in any capacity beyond a fan to artist relationship. I understand now that it is my responsibility as a NSFW artist that I simply cannot have minors as friends. And being much older now I don't even want minors as friends anyway. When I was in my early 20s the age gap didn't feel as bad but I'm definitely feeling it now and I just don't want to deal with minors any more.

I'm not a danger to anyone, I'm not spewing apologetics for horrible people, I've been doing my best to be a much better and more informed person

And I have no easy way to prove any of it in a way that will matter

I'm only talking about this now because once again I was kicked out of something because someone found that old info and that was all it took. No one cares about my side of things.

And I don't know if this will ever go away

I don't know if I'll ever find any amount of comfortable success because I can't get rid of this shit and on the internet it doesn't matter how long ago you did something or how much you've changed, you did it and therefor you're bad forever.

I hate this shit so much.

#vent #drama #sorry #apology

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superlarva · 9 months

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I'm only asking this on anon, because I have to message people from my main account/blog which is confusing when I do most of my reblogging from my side blogs. So for the purposes of this message, I am @clonethirstingisreal

And I want to apologize for reblogging all of the chapters of your Rex being a dad to Echo and Fives story, because I'm sure you're going to be inundated with notifications and you might not even be on here very much...so please don't feel the need to respond to my reblogs, I just want to make sure they live on my blog and that my followers get to see them, because I think everyone should read them!!! I love this story so much!!

So anyway, yeah...thanks for writing it! And I'm pretty sure you said you would be writing at least one more chapter, so I look forward to that!

I just didn't want to stress you out with a bunch of notifications.

OMG, hi @clonethirstingisreal (I hope you can see this, for some reason it won't let me tag you properly)

First of all, you have nothing to apologize for, friend! I love receiving notifications--hearts, reblogs, and comments are all much appreciated. I cannot express the amount of joy that I feel after coming home from a long day of work and seeing that someone has been enjoying and engaging with something I have written, so, thank you very much! <3

Second, I only started seriously posting things on tumblr this summer and I am still learning tumblr etiquette and features, so if I'm being honest, I have been a little scared/nervous to respond to people all the time. With that being said, I do read everyone's comments and reblogs (as I said before, they make me very happy). Perhaps as I get more comfortable here I will respond more. :)

Third, I'm delighted that you are enjoying Raising Dominoes! I currently have nine (I think) unposted finished chapters and more on the way, so don't worry, there's plenty more to come. Some things to look forward to are first days of school, trips to the library, Echo coming home, celebrations, a side of angst, all the good stuff. I've been trying to post every Sunday night, but sometimes I have events or work that get in the way.

Okay, now on to some responses to some of your comments/questions! :)

I'm happy that the little Bad Batch cameo brought you in! We'll see more of them once the boy's are in school!

Hehe, I'm glad you like the hospital parking lot scene. I wrote that one from experience. I feel I have done my duty if I was able to give someone the feels!

I LOVED writing the shopping trip chapter. I'm glad people have been reacting well to teen Hardcase, I was afraid people weren't going to like my choice of ages for the characters.

Speaking of ages, I could have sworn you (I think it was you?) had mentioned something about doing the math to see how old Rex would have been when the twins were born and I can't find it now, but anyway, you were right, ~16-17. I might go into that a little later, so I don't want to spoil anything for now!

Ahh, okay, that was long, sorry!

TL;DR: Feel free to reblog as much as you want! It makes me so happy to hear your thoughts!

#raising dominoes

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halfagone · 1 year

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...I have such complicated feelings about the Anger Management ship. This isn't to say that I don't like the ship (I do, I actually adore it) but I happen to be very nit-picky about the execution and dynamics that I'm always super hesitant to read new fics with these two as the main pairing.

(If you plan on reblogging this, please do not put the crossover fandoms or the ship name in the tags. This is a rambling essay, not a purposefully antagonistic vent about other people's writing style or preferences. I KNOW not everyone likes or dislikes the same things that I do, and just as they are due their own opinion, so am I.)

To be completely transparent, I don't think Jazz would like Red Hood. Oh, I think she'd absolutely adore Jason, but I don't think she would like Red Hood. I honestly believe that if she found out Jason was Red Hood sometime later into their relationship, she would want to take a step back and think things through. This isn't to say that she would break up with him because of it, or hate him suddenly now that the truth is out, but it's one thing to find out your boyfriend is secretly an anti-hero vigilante, and it's another thing to find out your boyfriend is secretly a crime-lord who beheaded EIGHT PEOPLE and stuffed their severed heads into DUFFEL BAGS to send a message to Batman. It's one thing to find out your boyfriend doesn't get along with his family, and it's a whole other thing to learn your boyfriend beat his adopted brother brutally and PAINTED THE WALLS WITH HIS BLOOD without ever meeting him first and based on information he hadn't even found out firsthand but was given to him by a woman that was purposefully stoking the flames of his anger and hatred to make things easier for her son.

She knows Jason a little more personally now, so she's aware of the layers to his character and history so she has a better understanding of what his motivations might/could be, but that doesn't lessen how HUGE of a shift in perspective this could be for her. It'd be worse if Jason hasn't expressed any regret for what he did to Tim, especially considering Red Hood supposedly protects kids but went along and beat Tim so viciously anyways. You can't even use the excuse that Tim is a 'child soldier', when Jason is just as willing and ready to use that same excuse when he gripes about how terribly Bruce treated him or Bruce's supposed lack of grief and regret over losing Jason. It doesn't mean what he went through was any less terrible, but it does make him a hypocrite.

I feel like they would have to steadily overcome this obstacle, and I do honestly believe that Jazz would implore him to get therapy to help him, and if he didn't agree, she would be seriously concerned about their relationship. Seeing as Jason has also inherited Bruce's miscommunication (or general lack of communication) and poor coping mechanisms.

Of course a lot of this could be outright avoided or fixed in the background, but I don't find that it happens a lot? Or, if it does, it's never properly explained? I can understand if it's a short fic and all that background plot points can't be properly addressed in the short amount of time, but when it's a longer fic I always feel like it's a missed opportunity NOT to have and/or show more growth in Jason as he learns what a civilian relationship (hell, a healthy relationship in general) is actually LIKE after losing so much of his life to his need for revenge.

Which kind of leads up to my next point... I'm very nit-picky when Jazz is shown to be super BAMF and always ready to throw down. Jazz has always been badass to me, but I always felt like her type of strength always relied more on her intelligence, sharp wit, and most of all her compassion. She's a good shot, and she's always willing to step in physically if she feels like it's necessary, but violence has never been her first choice. She wants to be a psychologist/psychiatrist - for her to constantly be willing to roll up her sleeves and punch someone out is not conductive to a working and trusting relationship between a doctor and their patient. Or between most people, in general.

(Another thing! I feel like Jazz would believe that people deserve second chances. While she might agree that someone like the Joker might be beyond saving (something she might agree to with great hesitancy and reluctance), she wants to believe so badly that people can change for the better. This could be caused and/or linked to her childhood, and how her parents never spent time on her and Danny but she was desperate to fix their family. Which could be the reason she got into psychology in the first place. For her to admit that some people can never change, would be like Jazz admitting that she wasted the early formative years of life trying to fix a broken home all for nothing. This, however, would cause more contention between her and the Red Hood. Can you tell I don't think they'd get along?)

However, this sort of personality and behavior is very reminiscent of someone else. That person of course being Danny himself. Danny is the one that's often throwing himself into fights and roughing it up before thinking twice. When he grows up, he might learn to rein it back in and think things through more, but I find it strange that the exact opposite it applied to Jazz's character when she has already succeeded with a balance of careful forethought and affirmative action. I like when there are differences between their characters, I like how they differentiate and balance each other out. I like how it shows their opposing thought processes and principles.

This does lead me to my next point... Liminal!Jazz is very hit and miss for me. Giving her ghostly qualities not only takes away some of the things that make her unique to Danny (it sucks too because I adore how Jazz is so sympathetic and tries so hard to understand what Danny is struggling through, it really shows how supportive Jazz is and has always tried her best to be). It particularly irks me when it's explained that this is caused by ectocontamination when Danny supposedly never had those same ectocontamination effects BEFORE his Accident? When he was similarly contaminated for all of his life as well. Technically speaking, their parents should be contaminated too in order to make the reasoning consistent. But most of all it... and I hate to say this, but I feel like it cheapens Danny's tragic death. Danny went through SO MUCH and suffered excruciating pain and now whenever he looks in the mirror he will never see the same human kid he'd once been, while Jazz didn't have to suffer the same thing or even CLOSE TO IT and still got those same physical characteristics. ESPECIALLY when the reasoning feels hollow. And even I hate how I can't get into the concept because I've seen the headcanon utilized in some pretty inventive ways! Nonetheless it still bothers me and I see it so much that I find that I have to outright avoid so many fics to get away from it. The premise of the fic itself might interest me but the concept bothers me THAT MUCH that I just can't.

And a lot of this is connected to how Jazz is so often characterized or shown in conjunction to Danny. De-Aged!Danny fics where Jazz takes care of him are really cute- god knows I love a good baby!Danny story- but I feel like these fic concepts don't give Jazz the opportunity to shine on her own. When I heard people complained about where Danny was in Elizabehta_Beilschmidt's Friendly neighborhood vigilante (and yes I know what her @ is, but I am PURPOSEFULLY not tagging her), I was honestly SHOCKED. I loved that Danny wasn't really around. That might sound harsh, but I came for a Jazz/Jason fic where these two were the main characters. And who we, naturally, should spend the most time with.

Most of all, Jazz's whole personality and life should not be based on babysitting/caring for her little brother. Especially in a lot of these fics when Danny is an adult of his own. Danny has been shown to take care of himself even at fourteen, if he's eighteen or even in his twenties, that shouldn't have suddenly changed. Jazz should not have been forced to take care of her younger sibling to begin with, for her to be forced or feel obligated to continue and spend more of her life unnecessarily worrying and fussing over her brother is not fair to her. I hate to separate them, but their lives take them in different directions and it's not healthy or fair for them to curb their wants and dreams to satisfy their desire (and perhaps even codependency) to stick together. It's both adorable and heartbreaking in kid!Danny fics to see how she continues to hold strong and try to do her best for him, but she already spent so much of her life doing that. Let her have time for herself and her interests and her cute boyfriend GODDAMMIT!

So yeah. I have Complicated TM feelings about Anger Management. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

#halfagone rambles #don't take this personally if you disagree #you do you my friend

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