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extremelyblackandwhite · 3 years

Text

scrubs.

pairing: doctor!sebastian stan x biomedical scientist!reader

warnings: none

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The coffee cup was laying neatly on his desk by the computer screen with surgeon-like precision. After years and years of studying, being an intern, and serving crazy, late or early rotas, Sebastian had got used to being the resident doctor. His routine, although unpredictable, had some sort of shape and one of the things he enjoyed doing was having his cup of coffee while looking at his first patient’s record before he could come in. Of course, like in every single job, there were unpredictable factors and for him it always seemed to be lack of test results in his record files.

- Hey ... - he called out for one of the nurses who was passing by. She stopped by his door, poking her head in. - Where are the blood culture results from this patient?

- The laboratory sent the samples back up. You’ll have to order a blood culture again.

- Fucking hell ... - he mumbled to himself, throwing the file onto the table.

Of course, Sebastian never got to fully take his coffee. If he did, it normally meant she was on holiday. The biggest unpredictability of the job wasn’t the patients or the constant urgencies, no, the biggest unpredictability in his job was a woman. Not just every woman, no, a biomedical scientist in the microbiology department which always seemed to deny his tests or contest every medical opinion he had.

He sighed as he pressed the lift’s button to the laboratory floor. There was always an unseen line between the doctors, nurses and assistants on the upper floors and the laboratory staff on the lower floor. Doctors barely showed up in the laboratory yet again not all doctors had a biomedical scientist after them. Actually, no other doctor had a war with a biomedical scientist, just him. Lucky him.

- Stan, put a lab coat on. - speaking of the devil. - Did they not tech you health and safety in med school?

- It’s Dr. Stan. - he grudgingly grabbed the lab coat she has extended over to him, stopping him from getting any further into her department. She was right about that, but he wasn’t gonna give her that. - It’s 8 AM, are you already hiding from your responsibilities?

- Where are my blood culture results, Y/N? I have a patient coming in 50 minutes and I can’t tell them what’s wrong with them.

- That’s not my problem. - she turned around but he followed her still. - Will you please leave? I have work to do.

- Oh really? Considering you haven’t given me the results, I’d think you just slack off the whole day here. - he sighed. - C’mon, Y/N.

- I’m sorry, Dr. Stan but maybe you should instruct your nurses in what correct blood culture bottle to send the blood samples. If you suspected anaerobic bacteremia why did you sent it in an aerobic bottle? They’re dead, I cannot plate dead bacteria. Now if you please, I have work to do.

- Did they or did you just lose the sample again?

- Unlike you, Dr. Stan I do my job correctly. Now if you don’t mind, I have requests from Doctors who know what they’re doing.

Sebastian grumbled, taking the lab coat on tossing it onto the hook. Y/N grinned to herself as she returned to her microscope, mentally celebrating the fact she had once again managed to upset Dr. Stan. It wasn’t that he was a bad doctor, he wasn’t, he was just too lenient with his staff while Y/N was razor sharp focused on getting work done so whenever a sample came in bad state, unlike other department senior scientists, she’d just deny them and go do tests on good samples. That particular mindset resonated with her superiors but Dr. Stan enjoyed coming downstairs to give her an earful as if she could do something. Well, she could do something, she could go upstairs and train the staff herself but she wasn’t paid for that and it seriously was not her job to do so.

- Dr. Stan, again? - Miriam, one of the scientists who had started around the same time as her and had experienced as many of their fights as there had been, sat by her side. - You two seriously need to fuck.

- Miriam! - she widened her eyes, looking around to see if someone had heard them. - Why don’t you say it louder?

- Listen when me and cute butt from haematology we’re feuding, we fucked it out during the Christmas party and look at us now ... - she smirked taking the necklace with her engagement ring from under her laboratory coat. - Besides, he is a doctor.

- He’s too old. - she returned to inspecting the Gram slide under her microscope, but Miriam had other plans, turning off the light in her microscope.

- He’s in his 30s. That’s a baby in doctor years besides you two are making everyone miserable.

- I will make you miserable if you don’t start analysing the new samples.

Telling a patient he needed to give blood samples again sounded easy enough. After all, Sebastian had had a whole communication module during med school and almost ten years worth of experience yet nothing compared to listening to a patient yell at him before he even had lunch. Surely with the amount of times, Y/N had done this to him he would be used to it now but not when all he’d have was coffee. With a scowl on his face, he walked into the cafeteria. Damned Y/N, damned Y/N and her petty fighting.

- Seb! - Dr. Mackie set his tray on his table. They’d done their residency together and he had even been present when he and Y/N had their first encounter and fight. - Word is you’ve already had your first fight with Y/N. What’d you do now?

- I didn’t do anything. Blood came in the wrong bottle and she didn’t even try doing the test.

- You’re whining, Stan.

- Anyway, I’m glad you’re here. I have this patient, keeps complaining that he has an infection but there’s no markers.

- Hey man, I specialised in tropical diseases. Probability is, it’s not that. Why don’t you ask Y/N? She’s a microbiologist and you love to go over to see her.

- Really, Mackie?

- You can ask someone else but you and Y/N like each other so much. Maybe she’ll give you a kiss if you get it right.

- Thanks for nothing, Mackie.

- Hey, maybe if you and her start dating, the upstairs and the downstairs people will finally have a peace alliance.

Back to the microbiology laboratory it was. He couldn’t even remember what the two of them had started bickering about, but he knew it was around the time she had first started at the hospital. It wasn’t that she wasn’t smart, god no, Sebastian knew she was smart and completely capable and probably the reason why she had become a senior scientist quite fast; however, she was extremely argumentative and whenever she had to assist in one of his cases, they always ended up arguing. To be honest, she did look quite adorable whenever she was fuming at him, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose and pointing aggressively at the results.

- STAN! LAB COAT! - he was taken from his thought by the same woman throwing a laboratory coat on him. - I will report you to the board if you keep walking into my lab without a lab coat on.

- I need your help.

- Okay. - she opened one of the various drawers in the laboratory, taking three bottles and placing it on the table in front of her. - It’s very simple. Yellow for paediatric, red for anaerobic and green for aerobic. Paediatric means child, anaerobic means no air, and aerobic means air.

- Seriously, Y/N? I know what it means.

- Do you? - she cocked an eyebrow at him. - Don’t worry, we got the samples right these time. I have someone working overnight so you’ll have your precious results. Besides, it is probably negative. Looking at the sheet doesn’t really scream bacteremia. It might just be a localised infection which has the potential to become bacteremia. Unless it’s an AMR case, it’s probably no fuss.

- Great. It’s not that I need help with though.

- Can’t you do your own job, Dr. Stan?

- 40 year old male, complaining of infection like symptoms but no markers. - he handed her the file which she skimmed through.

- Did you check for CRP? White blood cell count?

- White blood cell count is slightly high but not in a way which would really indicate an infection. Know of anything like that?

- I can run some tests but I don’t really know. - she shrugged. - Have you asked Dr. Mackie? Patient been in any tropical locations?

- He told me to ask you.

- Aw so even he knows that you suck at being a doctor?

- You know what, Y/N? You would be cute if you weren’t so argumentative.

- Don’t try to butter me up, Dr. Stan. I will ask around my colleagues, see if anyone has any idea before dinner time and then I’ll let you know.

- Are you asking me for dinner?

- Yes, because having dinner in the green light cafetaria with you is totally my idea of romance. I mean, why not take me here now in this table?

- Now, Miss Y/L/N, that’s is against health and safety protocols. You should know.

- Do they not teach you sarcasm in med school?

- We’ll talk about it during our dinner date.

- It is not a dinner date, I’m just giving you data.

- It’s a date. I’m telling everyone.

- Don’t you dare!

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan/y/n #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan au #doctor!sebastian stan

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artist-issues · 3 years

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@snowybookworm

I’ve seen the logic behind both schools of thought: that Old Steve could only have sat back and allowed events like Bucky’s torture to unfold (thereby being super out of character) OR that he created an alternate timeline where he stayed in character by solving all sorts of problems while living out his happily ever after. And I’m not going to go into that, I’m not going to swing one way or the other. But suffice to say, I don’t think that the portrayal of time travel rules in Endgame supports the idea that Old Steve could only return to prime 2023 via the same portal he left from, because if that were true, how do you explain the Avengers’ big push to get the Infinity Gauntlet into Scott’s van in the final battle? If the only way they could be returned to the timeline they were snatched from was with the same portal, tossing them into the van, a DIFFERENT portal, would’ve been reality-suicide for our heroes.

But I’m not here to argue about what Steve Rogers did when we DIDN’T get to watch his actions. I’m here to argue about what we DO know for sure based on what we WERE given to watch. I’m here to prove that if you think it’s not like Steve Rogers to leave Bucky in the present to live his days out with Peggy, you’ve missed his whole character arc. You’re one of those people who doesn’t see that he HAS a character arc. Captain America has DEPTH. He has LAYERS to who he is. It’s not just “do the right thing,” as close as that may sound to the truth.

He is not the same exact guy Bucky had to lead out of back-alley fights in the 40s. He might have all of the same excellent qualities that we know and love, the BEST qualities, but we’re not at the same point in his story. He’s learned and he’s grown and Peggy Carter is symbolic of him moving on.

Now, that may sound oxymoronic to you, “because he literALLY TIME TRAVELED TO THE PAST to be with the lady he missed out on! HOW IS THAT MOVING ON?!” you ask. Because you’re missing it. Let’s rewind and look at Steve Rogers and his character development, shall we?

In Captain America: The First Avenger, Steve Rogers goes from a guy with everything to prove, who is so willing to take on the world and all it’s evil that it doesn’t matter if he’s 90lbs of asthmatic shortness, he’ll fight bullies and stand up for what’s right! And he’ll do it ALONE if he has to! That’s important, the word “alone.” He’s so committed to that identity that Bucky Barnes, his best friend and brother figure, keeps having to remind Steve that through all of life’s challenges, he’s not alone, that he’s got someone with him “til’ the end of the line.” And Steve believes it: Bucky will be there for him when he needs dragging out of the gutter and cleaning up, when he has nobody else and nothing else. But Steve knows, or thinks he knows, (AND YOU AND I DO TOO, if we pay attention to the actual movie instead of our fill-in-the-blanks headcanons) that however LOYAL AND TRUE Bucky is to him, he doesn’t believe Steve can win. Bucky doesn’t believe in Steve. Now hold your offense: it’s okay that Bucky didn’t believe in Steve. Have you seen Skinny Steve? He’s an amazing moral giant, but physically he’s not going to live past middle-aged. Bucky believed Skinny Steve was righteous, and a hero, and would never give up, but Bucky was resigned to having to help that righteous hero or watch him die eventually because all that gold was locked up in the wrong-sized package. Sebastian Stan has hinted at what the films portray subtly; that Bucky’s is more cynical than his friend Steve from the get-go. He’s always poised and worried that he’s about to watch his hero Steve get killed standing up to the darkness of the world—not WIN against it. Bucky was ready to help Steve out of fights, but—and here’s BUCKY’S character development in that first film—he’s not ready to follow Steve into fights until after Azzano, when Steve finally has the physical capabilities to back up what Bucky has always known was there on the inside: the will to fight the darkness of the world and win. That’s when he realizes, “he’s the little guy from Brooklyn, too dumb to run away from a fight—and now someone’s actually gone and juiced him up with the means to literally take on the jaws of death.” All that heroism and goodness Bucky’s always seen in Steve has gone from being what might get him killed to something that Steve can actually use to do the right thing, however dangerous. And Bucky chooses to keep his promise and follow Steve back into battle after enduring torture, because he is with him til the end of the line. But initially, cynical yet loyal Bucky Barnes didn’t believe his best friend could win.

Steve sees this about Bucky. He knows how Bucky sees him. In the Erskine Enlistment Scene, this line from Steve is so telling: “Look, I know you don’t think I can do this...” and Bucky responds after Steve’s ‘men-laying-down-their-lives’ speech with “right...cause you got nothing to prove.” sarcastically. Steve knows that Bucky loves him and is there for him, but he sees that Bucky doesn’t believe in him. And they’re still friends. They’re still brothers and everything we know them to be, because the word that defines their relationship is “LOYAL.” But you know who did believe in Steve?

Peggy Carter.

She takes notice of Steve’s heart of gold while he’s still skinny, and asthmatic, and everything that Bucky has seen since they were kids. But where Bucky sees a heart of gold about to be snuffed out by harsh circumstances, PEGGY sees something else. She sees something else because she has a similar hopeful outlook on life, a kindred spirit with Steve’s forever-the-fighter character. Peggy Carter, a woman in the 40s, has had to fight and fight and take one step forward for every three steps she’s been pushed back. She’s had to prove herself over and over, every moment of her career, when nobody (except her brother Michael) believed in her. That’s their conversation in the cab. That’s the crux of why they love each other. Peggy has always noticed Steve as never giving up, but until he talks to her in the car on the way to get Super Soldiered, she might have assumed that he was just trying to prove himself for HIMSELF. Then he explains that he doesn’t have anything against running away, and his philosophy about bullies. And she relates to him. She sees that heart of gold and she wants to STOKE it, not just protect it. She knows what it is to want someone to not only acknowledge her potential, but BELIEVE in it. That’s why she has a picture of Skinny Steve on her desk and not a newspaper clipping of Captain America; she loves Steve Rogers for what is inside, for his moral character, and for their kindred fighter spirits. You can see that through her urging him to not settle for being a dancing monkey. “You were meant for more than this, you know.” “If it could only work once, he would be glad it was you.”

And Steve Rogers recognizes that Peggy Carter believes in him. Here’s how. When Bucky and Steve argue at the World Fair before Bucky’s deployment, Bucky leaves with a sort of “I give up,” so-done, snarky “don’t do anything stupid until I get back” attitude. We know and love it. But that’s important. Steve is about to go lie on his enlistment and try to go to war. He’s about to do this risky thing. And Bucky leaves it like “even though I’m against it, I know I can’t stop you, so please just be careful.” When Peggy is faced with a more extreme, but still similar situation where Steve is about to jump headfirst into a risky thing, that’s not her attitude. “I can do more than that.” “Get back here! We’re taking you ALL the way in!” She’s not going to follow him, and she’s not going to shrug and say “fine, go get yourself killed.” She’s not even going to say, like Bucky might’ve, “if you’re dying, I’m dying with you.” JEEZ, the last thing she says to him before he gets on a plane that becomes his tomb is “GO GET ‘IM.” When he says to her “this is my choice” before he ‘dies’ she accepts it, but she still makes that appointment for the dance- almost like a sad, sweet little ‘if you can get out of this, I’ll still be waiting.’ But whenever he goes into danger, throughout that film, she’s going to HELP him. Because she believes in him. She really believes he can do this. She has faith. That’s the word that describes Peggy and Steve’s relationship. “FAITH.”

Bucky = Loyalty.

Peggy = Faith.

And how does Steve grow in this movie? He learned from both Bucky and Peggy: “I don’t have to fight alone.” Whether it’s because he’s scrawny and everybody else would run away from a fight they can’t win, or because he’s an icon and the world’s first super-soldier-miracle, he’s always had this loneliness complex. He lifts the weight of the world because he knows that if you can, you should. But Peggy says to him “you won’t be alone.” It’s a quote important enough for him to experience it in a flashback the first time we see him in The Avengers.

In The Avengers, Steve has to share the spotlight with a whole other cast of heroes, PLUS the writers had to show us what it would be like for a 1940s superhero to lose 70 years of time and wake up with nobody left of his old life, so his growth is smaller. It’s setting up for more growth later. But still, there’s that quote. “You won’t be alone.” And now here he is. Alone. In the 21st century. Worse than a skinny kid nobody believes in, now he’s a cultural phenomenon in a world where everyone looks up to him but nobody believes in him, really, not directly. Whether it’s how well he can stand up against gods and iron men, what makes him special, or why cops should listen to him in the heat of interplanetary battle—in this bold new world he’s woken up in, Steve is on a lonelier pedestal than ever. He’s quickly disillusioned with the government that used to give him order and structure when it loses the Tesseract, which it was making weapons of mass destruction out of, then tries to nuke an island full of innocent people to win one battle. But Steve finally realizes, toward the end of the film, that just because SHIELD and the larger world are new and different and don’t know who he really is, that doesn’t mean he’s alone. When the other Avengers join him in going to take on Loki in their own way, and when Tony, in particular, proves that he’ll sacrifice himself for the greater good, Steve remembers his lesson from Peggy. He’s still not alone.

But being surrounded by other misfits, even ones who are willing to sacrifice everything for the greater good like he is, isn’t the same as being surrounded by people who know Steve Rogers, the punch-drunk kid from Brooklyn. He’s looking for purpose at the end of the Avengers. What do we see the other characters doing? Thor’s off to deal with the family drama that defines a lot of his character arcs in his movies. Tony is seen embracing the whole “work with others” thing by starting construction on Avengers Tower. Bruce is going with Tony, proving that he’s learning to trust himself with the Hulk like Tony suggested, and Nat hands him the bag, meaning she trusts him too. Clint is reunited with her and getting in a car with the SHIELD logo stamped on it, and where is Steve? What’s his foreshadowing/cap to the movie character arc? Is he getting in the SHIELD car, too? No. He’s on a motorcycle. Alone. Driving off to Lord-knows-where. He’s the only Avenger that drives off alone—but before he went, he shook Tony’s hand. That send-off says he’s willing to be on this team, with these other fighters and misfits...but he’s still lonely. Nobody really knows him yet. He’s not alone in fighting, but he doesn’t know what he wants or where he’s going.

In Captain America: The Winter Soldier Steve’s character development is centered around solidifying what parts of him need to change now that he’s “The Man Out of Time” and what parts of him stay true. The whole film is about trust. And yes, that trust is best driven him when Steve is literally willing to die rather than give up on Bucky, the man literally beating him to death. Because loyalty. But don’t miss the scene with Peggy, however brief. Their conversation has nuances, especially in light of Endgame. There’s a lot going on in the scene that shows how in love he is with her, but the part that’s most important is just his reaction when she relapses and realizes that he’s alive all over again. The last thing Old Peggy says is “it’s been so long.” And she repeats it, for emphasis. And he points out the dance. Because remember, there’s this theme that she would have waited for him. That’s their relationship: faith. But she didn’t know he was alive, and how could she? It’s been so long. She’s not smiling. She’s crying when she realizes he’s still alive. Because they missed all that time they would have had together. And his face is the perfect micro expression of grief. To me, it doesn’t read “I’m so sad because I missed out on Peggy,” though I’m sure there’s some of that in there. To me it reads more like Steve always reads because he thinks of others first: “I’m so sad because Peggy had to mourn me and our relationship for so long.” I mean, look, it’s 70 years later and she’s devastated that he’s alive but they weren’t together. (You can be devastated about your lost love AND accepting of your life and other children without him, it doesn’t have to be one or the other, but more on that another time.) Steve never moves on from Peggy because that’s not the kind of guy he is. It’s not nothing to say she was the love of his life. And he wanted to go back to her not just for himself, but for her. Because he’d seen the future where she was still heartbroken that he missed their dance, and I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s literally RIGHT THERE in probably the best-written Marvel Film, Winter Soldier.

In a film that’s all about how what he thought was good and right is literally crumbling or growing Hydra tentacles around him, there are two things he doesn’t let go of. The first is Bucky. Bucky is an assassin now who any other hero would have put down. Heck, STEVE would have mournfully put down any other threat to the greater good, for the sake of Doing What’s Right. But there’s two (2) exceptions to that rule, and the first is Bucky. Loyalty. He won’t kill or even fight his best friend. And the second thing he won’t let go of, thematically, is Peggy. It’s how we go from “I’m alone in the future” in the Avengers to, “and if I’m the only one, so be it. But I’m willing to bet I’m not.” Peggy founded SHIELD. Steve didn’t have to take time out of the very carefully synchronized and tense mission to stop Project: Insight to make that announcement. He could have assumed everyone was HYDRA and got to work. But he stopped, he made a FAITH-BASED decision to let HYDRA know they were there and shoutout to any good people in the building because the movie was about trust. And Peggy showed Steve how to have faith and trust in people because she extended it to him. He puts so many eggs in the Big Risk basket during this movie based on trusting others even though Nick Fury’s crucial words were “Don’t Trust Anyone.” That’s the part of Steve that won’t get corroded away by the new world he’s come out of the ice into. And he shows it by loyalty to Bucky, brainwashed warts and all, and belief in people, which Peggy taught him. There’s a lot that could also be said about Sam and Natasha, too, but more on them later.

The main thing, in CA:TWS and Avengers, to remember about Steve’s character arc is that while he’s learning to hold on to IDEALS like belief in people and defending freedom and innocent people from bullies like HYDRA and Loki, how does he express those ideals? The only way he knows how. By fighting. By finding a mission to complete or a cause to serve and going for it. How else? He doesn’t know how to do anything else. “I guess I just like to know who I’m fighting.” Sam asks, “You thinking about getting out?” And hid knee-jerk reaction is “no.” Then, “I don’t know.” AND WHY DOESN’T HE KNOW? Because he doesn’t know what makes him happy. Seriously! What makes him happy?? People who know him. He won’t go on a date because he has “no shared life experience”. He has no fun plans Saturday because his “barbershop quartet are dead.” Hes straight up politely walking away, kind-celebrity-style, from a potential new friend in Sam until Sam starts talking about being a veteran. He tries to relate to others through fights because that seems to be the only thing left. People see Steve as Captain America, leader of the Avengers, Fighter for Freedom, in the future. Nobody sees the kid from Brooklyn anymore. And he doesn’t know who he is without a war.

Bringing us to Avengers: Age of Ultron. This one’s character development is so obvious it feels like they’re beating you over the head with it Hulk-style if you just take half a second to focus on Steve’s scenes. It starts with how he views the Maximoff twins—he can relate to their lab-rats-of-justice ideals, but nobody else shares that sympathy, as seen in the conversation with Maria Hill by the elevator. Then there’s the scene at the party. No, not the one where he reminds Bruce that he waited too long for Peggy, although HELLO HE’S STILL IN LOVE WITH PEGGY. But I’m talking about Steve and Sam’s conversation. Sam mentions home. In the middle of a party, Steve is asking about Bucky, his one remaining person who knows him, and reminiscing about Peggy, the other person who knew him. Home is in the people who know you. Steve wants that to be the Avengers. He wants them to be the people who get who he is, and I think they come close. Nat, Sam, and Tony especially. But Tony never separates who Steve is from this idea of him handed down from Howard Stark, and Steve is made aware of that over and over. Plus Tony doesn’t trust Steve; the team keeps clashing over trust issues in this film. And Tony even says, in the pivotal argument with Steve over the lumber pile, “isn’t this why we fight? So we can END the fight? So we can go HOME?” Steve can’t go home because Steve feels he has no home. He’s made The Fight his home. And he defaults right back to it in this argument: “every time someone tries to stop a war before it starts, innocent people die.” So, again, he’s not ALONE anymore, in the sense that others will fight with him. But he’s still stuck on FIGHTING. And nobody really knows him. At the end of the film he says, almost reluctantly, “I’m home” and proceeds to go in and try to train new Avengers. Sam comes flying in among them—that’s a subtle reason why Steve is willing to make the Avengers/the Fight his new home. The one guy who might actually know him and represent who he is when he’s not behind the shield is missing, and Sam was supposed to be looking for him. Sam is with the Avengers, NOT looking for him.

But all of that is wrecked in Captain America: Civil War. Peggy, the love of his life, dies. Bucky, the friend he’d all but given up on finding, reappears and is in trouble. Without Peggy, there’s only one person left who knows who Steve really is, and with all that Bucky means to him, Steve isn’t going to give him up. It just so happens that that goal of remaining loyal to Bucky is synonymous with hanging on to his ideals: combatting the Sokovia Accords with a little moral kick in the seat from posthumous Peggy. I’m not going to go into why his actions about the Accords were in-character in this film. But it should be obvious from everything I’ve written, anyway. And remember, his faith is in people. Peggy taught him that, as we’ve established.

The main point of character development in this film for Steve is that he’s realized that he can’t give up who Steve Rogers is to be who everyone thinks Captain America is. When the rest of the world says that the Avengers should be little better than Government weapons and operate out of fear, Steve remembers that he’s the kid from Brooklyn who will fight for what’s right, shield or no shield. And Bucky symbolizes that aspect of who he really is, because Bucky knows him in a way that no remaining living character does. So when Steve is fighting Tony to keep Bucky safe, it’s not devoid of their conflict over ideals, either. Stave drops the shield but promises to still be there for Tony if he needs him. He’s not going to be everyone’s Captain America. He’s going to stay the good man Erskine gave a chance to, the good man Peggy believed in, and the good man only Bucky is alive to remember.

Now we get to Infinity War. And here there’s so much going on with so many characters that for Steve, it’s just important to realize that, although he’s finally hit a rhythm in this post-ice life as Steve Rogers, Fighter from Brooklyn, HOW is he hitting that rhythm? Settling down in Wakanda to hang with Bucky and the goats? Leaving the justice and peacekeeping to Tony Stark and the law-abiding heroes? No. He’s still fighting. And not just in response to Thanos—we’re shown hints and evidences that Cap and his Secret Avengers have been doing some behind-the-scenes peacekeeping. So why isn’t Steve finding peace with Bucky? Ask yourself that. He had time. He had anonymity, in Wakanda. He’d given up the Captain America mantle. They could’ve been roomies in that little hut, like when they were kids, right?

Wrong. But why?

It’s not because the Russos didn’t think of it. It’s not because of lazy writing. It’s because of Bucky.

Bucky is still Steve’s friend and Steve is still loyal to him. They don’t mean any less to each other than they did in 1945. But Bucky is not Bucky anymore. If you believe that Sebastian Stan did a good job playing Bucky, you have to remember that Sebastian Stan played him as if he would “never go back to being that guy you see in The First Avenger.” Bucky has evolved. He’s part Winter Soldier, now. Does he still know Steve better than anyone? Yes. But that is corrupted by the fact that Bucky was programmed to see Steve, the country Steve represented, and all of Steve’s ideals of freedom as targets to be destroyed for 90 years. That changes things. Steve is always going to do what is best for Bucky, because that’s the kind of friend he is. It was the kind of friend he was in 1945 when he rescued Bucky from Azzano, it’s the kind of friend he was when he wouldn’t fight him aboard Project: Insight, it’s the kind of friend he was when he gave up the Avengers and the shield for Bucky...and it’s the kind of friend he was when he left Bucky in the present.

In Avengers: Endgame Steve Rogers has experienced what it’s like to fight and lose again. He’s lost everything. He’s lost Peggy, and now Bucky, too. He’s lost everything and everyone that ever symbolized home...except, perhaps, Natasha. His friend who knows what it’s like to give up everything for ideals and fight to prove yourself. His friend who can’t stop fighting, either. But he loses her, too. Before he does, though, what does Steve say? In that first conversation before everything sets into motion? He says that maybe the fight doesn’t need to be fought by them. He says they need to get a life. But Nat says “you first.”

Who knows him the closest at this point? Nat. So who’s the best-qualified to point out where he’s at, character-development-wise? Nat. He sees his flaw. Steve Rogers sees that he can’t figure out who he is, without someone who knows him helping him. He sees that he defaults to finding a cause, a mission, a fight. Heck, the posters of him say “one last mission.” Not “one last sacrifice (of everything for Bucky).” One last MISSION, because that’s the only thing Steve knows how to do when he has nothing else.

“But he DID have something else! He had BUCKY! And his new family with the Avengers!”

Now we get to the part people don’t understand. They think, “how could Steve just leave everybody, especially Bucky, to fend for themselves?”

You didn’t see all that character development, especially in the first film where the differences between what Bucky means to Steve and what Peggy means to Steve are established.

Bucky is not the streetsmart protective charming brother figure he was in TFA. But listen. He’s not the broken Winter Soldier anymore either. Not in a way that needs Steve’s help. He’s not on the run. He’s got his memory back. He’s pardoned. He’s got Sam. Don’t you see, Bucky’s biggest problem is Steve’s, at this point? They MIRROR each other. Steve can’t figure out who he is if he isn’t fighting for everyone else because he’s been fighting for so long. And Bucky can’t figure out who he is with his friend, his brother figure, doing that and him. Because if Steve is fighting, Bucky will always be there to have his back. But fighting isn’t what Bucky needed anymore. It’s not what he wanted. Fighting is what Bucky is tired of.

And Steve Rogers can’t not be where the fight is.

Because without a fight, who is he?

Peggy Carter knows.

Steve Rogers left Bucky because Bucky needed him to leave. They needed to be friends from afar. And Steve left Bucky because Peggy Carter was home. Being with the woman who knew who he really was, as Steve “Kid From Brooklyn” Rogers, was the right move for his character because it shows that he’s finally ready to stop fighting. Stop being Captain America, lonely hero, man out of time. He’s ready to go and figure out who he is apart from all of that, with someone who really knows him. Could he have done that with Bucky? I don’t know. Seems to me, from what we’ve seen, that Bucky represented passively understanding Steve while Peggy, at the point they were separated, represented understanding Steve and moving him forward.

Bucky was “I’m with you ‘til the end of the line.”

Peggy is “I had faith.”

Bucky was the guy to have Steve’s back in the fight. Peggy was the woman to show him he was meant for more. She represents his potential. She represents his ability to move on, see who he is when he’s doing more than following orders or standing up for honor or proving himself. It would have been out of character for him to stay in the present because new fights would have arisen, and he never would’ve put down the shield. He would’ve fought until someone killed him. And guess what? Bucky would’ve been right behind him, dragging himself into a fight when what he really needs is to step away from Steve and the baggage of his past for a bit. Not completely, but enough.

But this way? With Peggy? We get to see the guy who was always lonely and always learning how to be less alone actually do it. If you miss how significant that is, and you miss how much sense it makes, you don’t understand Steve Rogers at all.

#snowybookworm #I could’ve said less better #but here we are #avengers #steve rogers is an asshole #steve rogers #captain america #captain rogers #steggy #anti-stucky #captain America endgame #avengers:Endgame endgame #mcu #marvel #Marvel Cinematic Universe

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justsome-di · 4 years

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This was posted on the second tier of my patreon last week! At the moment, I post a bit of Good Omens fics, but I also post original stories. By becoming a patron, you can access all of my writing content. Some works are posted here and on my AO3 a week after they’re up on Patreon, but there are still a good chunk that are exclusive to patrons!

It was a dreary day that made a person hide away in her room with her best friend, pressing a puff to her cheeks lackadaisically as she sat at her vanity.

I was that person. It was my vanity, my best friend, and it was my puff I was pressing to my own cheeks in the aforementioned lackadaisical fashion.

It was a day that was dreary not because of the weather—I find no weather dreary because the weather is only doing its best and can’t always be expected to be sunny and warm. Sometimes the weather needs breaks—like people. We can’t always wear smiles. Sometimes we have to sit in our rooms and mope for a bit as I was doing. A little rain never hurt anyone. Except for maybe that Noah fellow in the Bible. Or, I suppose, all of the people who weren’t Noah. But I’m neither Noah nor the people who weren’t Noah at that specific point in time, and the rain had never wronged me. What had wronged me was my parent’s insistence that I marry.

I’d been very fed up with hearing my father say You’re not going to stay young forever. Pretty women need a good man, and women like you especially need a good man. But I’d always put on a brave face for my parents and nodded along as they listed men that they thought could work for me. I had met a few. I didn’t like any of them. They were too serious for my tastes, and they didn’t understand me. I needed someone who could listen to my gossip and read the same fashion magazines that I studied night and day. But many men don’t read fashion magazines, and that’s all fine and dandy in the end. They would just have to be able to listen to me talk about my studies and carry my bags as I shopped for what the magazines had told me to buy. A good woman, in my opinion, is always in need of a good man who will carry her bags. It’s symbolic or what have you. A smarter person would be able to explain it, but I still carry my firm belief that a man should be supportive in his wife’s shopping.

“I really don’t want to meet this gentleman today,” I said. I didn’t want to meet him any day. “I’m not feeling adventurous enough. I wish I could just be his pen pal for a little bit before we rush into dinner and marriage.”

“No matter what, Mr. Kingsley can’t be the worst,” Stella said, though she said it with a grimace. “Just remember that egg Agatha was briefly engaged to in May. He was a nightmare. I don’t think a man worse than that could exist. Remember how he told her uncle how often he had been sent to bed without supper while away at school? What was it that he would do? Put thumbtacks on the teachers’ chairs and pour milk into inkwells so the rooms would smell sour without anyone being able to tell where it was coming from? He was awful. She deserved so much better, the poor thing. I’ve told her over and over, though, that she needs to take a break from relationships and fill her time with education or something of the sort. Just to build her independence. Women have a lot to learn.”

Stella sat on my armchair. Occasionally, she caught a glance of herself in my mirror and maybe pressed a hand to a flyaway hair sticking up from her bob cut or ran the tip of her finger along her lipstick. She wasn’t always so vain (as I had sometimes been called every time I looked at myself passing by a mirror or particularly reflective window). She usually had her nose shoved in books or had her hands in paint. But she had taken a special interest in her makeup and hair ever since returning to America a few months ago. I had taught her everything I had learned over the years. I passed down old pencils and paints and helped trim up her hair. She was still the woman I had grown up with. Just prettier. Not that she wasn’t pretty before. She was just able to draw attention to the features I had begged her to draw attention to forever—her dainty nose and lips, her almond-shaped eyes. I was glad she had gotten over her silly idea that makeup didn’t do anything to make a woman feel better.

Stella and I were as similar as two peas in different pods.

She was as smart and cultured as anyone could ever get. Over the summer, she had gone to Paris to study art. In her letters, she told me how she spent her mornings in museums, her afternoons in cafés chatting with people of similar intelligence, and her evenings painting under the instruction of a young, French bohemian man. It sounded fairly boring to me, but she wrote such beautiful letters and occasionally included little sketches on cardstock. She told me about the people she met—all fancy writers that she insisted I read as soon as possible. I bought all of the books she told me about, but they only served to fill my bookshelf that had remained empty since my childhood. They looked beautiful, and I encouraged Stella to recommend me more while she was abroad.

Meanwhile, I had accompanied my father to work every day over the summer, going to his office and watching him write down numbers and tell people Yes, I think we can make that work or No, there’s no room in our budget. We cut that department by 40% last quarter, don’t you remember? I ought to fire you for nearly doing so stupid. The executives and I will discuss it in our board meeting with the president and CEO or something businessy of that sort. To be honest, I never really listened all that closely. I mostly stared at his pencil sharpener, dreaming about eating the lunch my mother and I would have made that morning that always sat next to my father’s desk. I would wonder if the bread was getting too hard or if I would enjoy the fruit after it had set outside the icebox for so long. My father could have been saying anything. I didn’t even know his position. He had told me that I should watch him at the family business so that one day I would be prepared to watch my future husband take over. He said that whenever I asked my husband for money—as I did with my father and as my mother did with him, too—I should know where that money comes from. I would write Stella pages and pages of rambling letters before dinner every day. At night, I would have to find any party to go to just shake off the grimy feeling the business had left on me.

My mother would occasionally listen to my retellings of the drama of the workplace, and she nodded with the utmost sympathy and petted my hair. She would say something in her high, mousey voice that would do little to comfort me. Her talk was always about how we had to do what’s best for our men. Even if that meant watching them do boring work. Stella was really the one who would do well to make me feel better in her letters. She was grounded, and she always knew what to say. She would recommend me even more books to empower my female spirit. They weren’t as attractive as the prettier ones she talked about. The titles themselves put me to sleep and the authors were usually dead, but I took her word that they were very good. I just couldn’t have old books in my possession.

Before I go any further with this story, I don’t want you thinking that Stella is any sort of drag. I’ll have you know that she knows a good time when she sees one. While in Paris—the city of art and love and such romantic stuff—she took good advantage of the alcohol. The Good Samaritans such as myself hadn’t had a drop of alcohol in America since the prohibition. Stella missed it sorely and drank the finest wine she could get her hands on while abroad. I had imagined that her Bohemian lover had whisked her away to his little apartment every night after a bottle and shown her what men from the city had to offer. She didn’t really say it to me, but I understood the twinkle in her eyes and the blush on her cheeks when she talked about him. She was going to go back to Paris and take me with her to meet her artist. I was thrilled to meet him and see what kind of influence he had on my Stella.

Stella had her whole life planned ahead of her. She would marry an intelligent artist, they would have little artist children, and she could spend all her time reading the novels she loved so much and painting because her children would be little, wonderfully well-behaved creatures that would obey every word their fair parents would tell them. When she got tired of painting, she would turn to writing essays about—what does she call it? Feminism? She could write essay upon essay about that. She would have a lovely cook in her home and a delightful maid that never snatched an earring or couple of coins when no one was around. I once had a maid who took one of my favorite bracelets, and I had the hardest time asking for it back. I eventually told my father, and she was fired the next day.

I hadn’t the foggiest clue what my future would be like.

“What do you think he’s like?” I asked.

“Mr. Kingsley?”

“Of course.”

“I think he’ll be nice,” Stella said.

She shrugged. A sign of indifference. She looked away as well, and I wondered if she was hiding something that was ruffling her feathers.

“Nice?” I asked

“Nice enough. I can imagine the man your parents would find for you. He’s probably the same type of egg as your father.”

She was doing her best to avoid my eyes, and she frowned so heavily. I pushed on with the conversation anyways.

“That’s what I’m worried about. Maybe I don’t want to marry a paternal-imitating egg. Maybe I’d like to be with a poet.”

“A poet?”

“Or someone like that. Someone not involved in business. Maybe a film actor would suit me better?”

Stella almost laughed. “How are you going to meet a film actor? Your family isn’t that important.”

“I could become an actress.”

“You?”

“I think I could make a career in the movies. Be a sweetheart. You know, like Mary Pickford.”

“Really?”

“Yes. It’s not as though they talk much. I wouldn’t have any lines to learn.”

Stella hummed. She was amused by my plan, I could tell, but she didn’t realize that I was being absolutely serious. I had dabbled in theatre in school—as she very well knew—and had gotten the role of one of the maids in Hamlet. And theatre, I’ve heard, is much more challenging than films. If I was an astounding maid, then I would be phenomenal in films. As I had just said to Stella, film actors have no lines. No one would ever know what my voice sounded like.

“Think of how little we know about how good these actors are at delivering lines. I have it on good authority that that Chaplin fellow has an English accent,” I said. “Can you believe that? An English accent!”

“Most people from England, I believe, have English accents. And I’m not sure if an accent dictates how well someone is at acting.”

Stella wasn’t keeping up. Of course, the accent didn’t mean anything to his acting. It was the fact that we didn’t know he had an accent. If we couldn’t even place something so big as his country of origin then how would we know if he was any good at monologues? It was as if she didn’t want to have this conversation.

“As I was saying,” I said, putting my nose in the air. “I think I would make a fine film actress. All I would have to do is make those poses and move my mouth a bit. Mary Pickford is so glamorous, wouldn’t you say? And Douglas Fairbanks.”

“Of course.”

“I could be glamorous. I could go to those parties and premieres. I’m just as pretty as the rest of them.”

“You really want to be known as just pretty? Darling, you wouldn’t have a voice. You’d just be a face. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

“It’s more than just being a pretty face on screen. I’d have to be in the public. I’d have to play tennis!”

“Tennis?”

“Yes! Haven’t you seen those pictures of Charles Chaplin and Douglas Fairbanks playing tennis? All movie stars must do it.”

“I’m not sure where your mind goes sometimes.”

“Stella keep up! This is important. This is my future.”

I felt bad for the dear. She had such a one-track mind. It made conversations with her so hard at times.

“Do you think Mr. Kingsley plays tennis?” I asked. “It would be delightful if he did.”

Stella didn’t answer. Her face had taken on a somber look—the same look my mother had when she had told me that my pet fish had to go to the country to soothe his nerves. I never saw him again. My mother told me that he had found a better life, and he would be healthier with his new family. I always suspected that he had really died.

I worried about Stella’s face. She pressed her lips together in a thin line and drew her eyebrows together. She looked nervous to speak. The conversation wasn’t about tennis or movies anymore.

“Can I be frank?” Stella asked.

“You can be anything you want to be.”

I was ashamed that my voice wasn’t stronger, but, you see, I’m not a fan of serious conversations. My parents always avoided them, and I never learned how to cope when presented with one.

“It doesn’t matter if he plays tennis or not,” Stella began. “I don’t think you want to meet any man for dinner that your father chooses for you. It doesn’t matter if Mr. Kingsley is exactly like you, your relationship isn’t going to work because it’s forced. And furthermore, I don’t think it’s right for your father to do this. You should be able to find a man on your own. I have no doubt that your father has your best interest in heart, but for God’s sake, it’s 1927. We’re free.”

I smiled as well as I could. For Stella’s sake. I think she relied on my happy demeanor a lot.

“This is how things are,” I said, trying to sound casual. “My parents are depending on this.”

“I’m being serious,” she snapped. “It’s not right for you to marry whoever they want while other girls are going out, voting, getting jobs, and driving! You still haven’t learned to drive even though you promised me you would!”

“That’s different!” My voice was rising, and I suppose it sounded a bit like my mother’s. “Driving is scary! I’m not sure how you do it. I can’t sit behind a hunk of metal and not hit anyone—”

“Because your parents have told you that you shouldn’t drive. I told you I would teach you.”

“I don’t have to drive to embrace these womanly rights you’re always on about.”

“Maybe not, but it’s more than driving. You freeze in any situation. Driving would teach you how to take control. To take yourself to where you need—want—to go with no one else able to stop you. To feel yourself leave behind your home for just a little bit.” Stella looked at her lap for a moment and took a deep breath. When she spoke again, her voice was calm again. “You at least need to stand up to your parents. You need to tell them that you’re going to find someone for yourself.”

I didn’t want to fight. I hated fights. I believed I was allergic to them and had been meaning to talk to a doctor about it.

I crossed the room to sit on the ottoman in front of her chair. My mother had picked out all the furniture in the room. I sat forward a little bit. I could feel my dress riding up my thigh as it caught on the ottoman. The first time I had come out of my room in a short dress, my parents had thrown a fit. They said that showing knees didn’t get a woman respect. My mother even called me a harlot, and I was offended when I looked it up in the dictionary later that evening. I was also surprised (and a little impressed) that my mother knew such a big word. Stella would have been proud of me if she had seen me lifting my chin and telling them It’s fashionable, and I’m not going to caught dead in something that looks like it’s from the War. She would have clapped and told me that the suffragettes had a similar attitude over lunch. Instead, she embraced me when she saw me that same day and said We’re liberated—knees and all. While she wasn’t the most up-to-date on fashion, her bare knees were the first I saw. I never told her what my parents thought about it.

“It’s not that easy,” I said to Stella. I couldn’t be angry. It wasn’t an emotion I was very keen on. “I have a responsibility. You can meet French artists and paint sunsets. You have a brother who’s taking care of the family. I’m all my parents have, and I have to do this for them.”

“You don’t owe anyone anything.”

“I do. I owe my parents a son-in-law and an heir, and I owe Mr. Kingsley dinner in an hour.”

My chest felt tight. I grabbed my necklace that hung so low that it almost rested in my lap. I would have to change into jewelry more conservative before I left. But before then, I would roll the pearls closest to my chest between my fingers. My mother would have told me that ladies didn’t fidget like she always did when I played with jewelry. Ladies are statues, she would tell me. I always asked her about our relationship with pigeons when I saw them gather on grey stone in the city, and she would only answer Just do your best to be polite to them.

“Think about who are you,” Stella said. “Because I don’t think you know who that is.”

“I know who I am.”

“Yeah? Then who are you?”

It wasn’t a fair question. No one would know how to answer that. I knew who I was as well as anyone else. Stella wouldn’t go up to a random person on the streets and ask them as sternly as she asked me without getting an odd look or a business card.

“You used to tell me that doing whatever your parents wanted infuriated you. What happened to that girl?”

She grew up.

I wasn’t a little girl anymore, kicking rocks because my parents made me go to a stuffy dinner while Stella was never forced to meet her parents’ drab friends. I was an adult, and I was realizing that a lot more compromises had to be made. The more I learned about the world, the more I realized how much I was missing out on.

“If you want to be Mrs. Kingsley or Mrs. Whoever-Your-Parents-Find, then I won’t hold you back. You know I’d support you in whatever you choose to do. But I’m scared for you. Don’t convince yourself that you want this. I know you have a brain in there somewhere.” She smiled a little. “You can use it to think for yourself.”

“I don’t use it for much else, I suppose.”

“Exactly.”

“I’m not sure about this. I don’t want to disappoint my parents. Or Mr. Kingsley. He’s done nothing wrong.”

“Would you rather disappoint yourself? Make a life with a man you hardly know and have his children and spend your days with a stranger? You can go to dinner with him tonight, or I can take you out. It’ll be just the two of us. We haven’t had dinner together in a while, have we? I still haven’t told you about my last letter from Victor.”

Victor was her Bohemian artist. She was crazy for him, and they had found each other on their own.

“Let me think about this. It’s making my head ache.”

I looked to my vanity only to avoid Stella’s eyes. I had my makeup sitting out, ready to touch up what was already on my face. My hairbrush was next to the powders and lipsticks for when I had to pull out tangles before I left. I even had my outfit hanging on my wardrobe door. It was the only outfit my mother had approved of. It was the longest skirt I owned, and the blouse with the highest neck. It was such a bland color. Light blue. Close to grey like an old woman’s hair. I was fond of black dresses and bright blouses. I should have thrown it out a year ago. My mother was making me wear my lowest heels, as well, and I had wanted to vomit over how old I looked. I looked as old as the women that gave me dirty looks when I went into town. I looked as old as my mother. I could have been going to church in that outfit, for Christ’s sake! No respectable girl of my age should have been forced into that.

I took great care to read about the newest fashions and trends from everywhere—England, France, Japan, etc. I had cut off my hair at 17 when I realized (way too late I confess) that long hair in up-dos had been out of fashion for quite some time. I transformed overnight. I looked like Edna Purviance. I had thought about getting on a train to Hollywood to show a movie director or modeling agency that I had the look. I had the short waves even if they were a bit crooked. My jaw and neck were exposed, and I felt scandalous and exposed. My mother almost fainted.

I discovered makeup the same year. I learned how to hold my hand steady to apply eyelashes and how to draw a cupid’s bow on my lips that Clara Bow herself would be jealous of. I propped up magazines next to my mirror and yanked at my eyebrows with tweezers until they looked similar to what I was seeing. I found a shade of blush that didn’t make me look like I had an odd infection but instead had spent a decent amount of time laughing and being happy. I painted thin lines around my eyes and dabbed a modest amount of eyeshadow on my lids. Stella and I had helped each other find powders that would make us look paler but not like corpses. I practiced my pout in the mirror and experimented with holding my head at different angles.

Later, after I was away from the judgment of school teachers, I had begged my father for money for a new wardrobe. I gave a whole speech about he should want a trendy daughter. I’ve already told you their reaction to seeing me in my first short dress.

Stella looked at her wristwatch in resignation.

“I should be leaving.”

She stood. I grabbed her hand.

“Give me a little time,” I told her. “I’d like to write Mr. Kingsley a letter for when he comes. I can’t turn a man down to his face. I also need to touch up my face and hair. I can’t be seen like this in public. Let’s go to that little café around the corner, and then, I think, there’s a movie playing this evening. We can make it if we hurry.”

I tried not to think about how furious my parents would be, and I tried not paying attention to the tightening of my stomach that killed my appetite and interest in films. I put my faith in Stella and prayed that Victor had a brother.

#Original Work #original writing

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hunter934 · 5 years

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RISA WATANABE - 20± SWEET INTERVIEW

The gap between her 20-year-old self she once imagined of and her 20-year-old self in reality makes her feel disappointed. More or less, everyone feels the same way. So, the future will change depends on whether she rejects it or sees it as an aspiration.

***

She has been already mature since she was a teenager. Quiet, and less talk. Therefore, our first impression towards her was “humble”. However, the more we watch her activity, the more we understand that she is “action before words” type of person, who keeps her determination inside and transfers it into action. Moreover, as the years pass by, and she is getting more experiences, her speech and conduct become more visible, like she already broke the shell that kept her invisible until now. And there Risa Watanabe is… longing for further growth when she approached 20.

- Risa-san, what is big turning point during 20 years of your life? One thing apart from becoming member of Keyakizaka46…

Risa: Hmm… there are many things, but maybe joining volleyball club in the middle school. In my middle school, we’d have to join at least one club, that’s why I started playing volleyball, but instead of being taught the volleyball techniques, we had been taught the importance of human relationship and manners, mostly we had been taught about things we’re supposed to know in our life. That kind of thought, still remains in my heart even now.

- So, you had been mentally trained, and been taught the important things you’re supposed to know as human, is that correct? For some reason, do you think yourself as hate-to-lose person?

Risa: Hmm, maybe I don’t have any thought like “I don’t want to lose to other”. But perhaps I should say that I don’t want to lose to myself.

- It’s really great to have that kind of thought in such young age. Because, usually teenagers and people in early 20s tend to blame another person and society.

Risa: I never really thought about that, I don’t have any clue why people think that way… whenever I can’t do something, I think that it’s my own fault. So it’s really frustrating if there’s something I can’t do.

- That logic is really to the point. Perhaps it’s kind of exaggeration if I say that that kind of thought is sort of philosophical or aesthetic, but what is exactly thing that shape the present Risa Watanabe? Is there any person or culture that influence you?

Risa: Eee, I wonder… (thinking for a while) Hmm, maybe I haven’t met that kind of existence yet. I haven’t found something that makes me able to say “This is the one!”, even though I try to think about it. Maybe I already did, but I myself haven’t realized it yet…

- Is there any influence from your friends?

Risa: Ah, it is (laugh). I have one bestie, if we have free time, I will meet and talk to her, we will hang out together, she is very important to me. I met her for the first time in the mid-school volleyball club, we were not really close back then. But, we attended the same high school… we went to school together, we got closer, and we became best friends. She is really reliable, she can notice something that I even can’t, like “Ah, so there is that kind of perspective!”, I always discover something new every time we meet, she always makes me realize something. That’s why, even though we are of the same age, I really admire her as human.

- I think having best friend that you can admire means a lot to you that can’t even be described in words. Actually, fellow member Nagahama-san said, “I really admire Risa who never lost a sight of anything at any moment”. By the way, what kind of person is Nagahama-san, that is of the same age as you, in your perspective?

Risa: I really admire Neru too. Among Keyaki’s members, she is always busy especially with her job outside Keyaki, however she always pays attention to people around her, she always notices even the small changes. I think Neru is strong.

- Nagahama-san really wanted to become 20 immediately since she was a teenager, she even said “I’m finally 20” on her birthday . The moment you turned into 20, what did you think? What did you feel?

Risa: On my birthday? What did I do again...? However, I also want to become 25 immediately, just like Neru wanted to become 20 (laugh). I never thought “I want to become teenager forever”, so I didn’t consider turning into 20 as something special. It only feels “Ah, I’m another year older”.

- I see, by the way, why do you want to become 25 immediately?

Risa: Because I want to become a real adult. 20yo person is already an adult from society perspective, but I think we’re not really adult… Everyone often says that when we’re elementary or mid-school students, 20yo person looks very mature, but when I turned into 20 myself, I’m still a child, nothing changes. That’s why I want to see myself as real adult immediately.

- I will ask you something about that. How is your image of ideal adult woman? Or, what kind of woman do you consider as adult?

Risa: Hmm… people who enjoying their life. People who doing their job well, and taking a break as well, I really admire adults that have some time to spare. But, if we can live our life to the fullest everyday, I think it will be so much fun, so at first maybe I will start from cherishing every single day.

- Why do you portray 25yo women as lively people who live their life to the fullest?

Risa: Because I imagine people in that age start to prepare how to face life in their 30s, so I think they are more mature than 20yo me. I want to immediately start that kind of preparation too.

- Meanwhile, Nagahama-san said “I want to become 40 immediately” (laugh). Is it because both of you experienced working together with wonderful adults?

Risa: Ah, it might be correct. Araki Yuko-san who always helps me in modelling job is also 25, so maybe she became one of my indicators.

- I see. Okay, with that kind of perspective, how is your ideal “adult love” and “adult date”?

Risa: Adult love…? Maybe I got too much influence from drama, but when I watch “Chuugakusei Nikki”, I think the relationship between the protagonist Hijiri-chan’s ex-fiance and his boss played by Yoshida Yo-san is very interesting. I always laugh every time I watch it. A man that is always being abused by his reliable senior, that kind of composition somehow makes me think, “Ah this is adult love”. But it’s not like I want to abuse someone (laugh). However, if there is love relationship between boss and subordinate in the same company, somehow it sounds interesting. Though it seems so complicated if it really happens in the real life…

- That’s right (laugh). However, Yoshida Yo-san is certainly a wonderful person, both as an actress and adult woman.

Risa: I really like her. She is not only beautiful, but also cool. How should I put it… my image of “a complete adult woman” is someone like Yoshida Yo-san.

- So, she is sort of your ideal image. Okay, let’s talk about real life, what kind of adult do you want to be in the future? Use your imagination, and imagine how you see yourself in 2-3 years.

Risa: Okay… I want to work. Then, what kind of work I want to do… basically I want to do kind of works where I can move my body.

- In short… you want to do active works, is that correct?

Risa: I want to work while searching for a hobby, and then devoting myself into it… I want to try that kind of life too. For example, I want to attend cooking class, and meet something that somehow I can be enthusiastic about. There are adults who are always enthusiastic about their hobbies no matter how old they are, I think they are so wonderful, I want to be that kind of adult too in the future.

- I think it’s really a wonderful guideline. Okay, let’s back to the topic, is there something you want to do when you’re still 20? For example, something big like “climbing Mt. Fuji” is okay, or something more familiar is also okay.

Risa: When I’m still 20… I want to challenge myself by doing something I want to do while fully enjoying the pleasure of this age. When we were doing photoshoot just now, I could see Mt. Fuji, and suddenly I want to climb it, so I think climbing Mt.Fuji is not a bad idea.

- Ah, I see! Today, I didn’t realize at all that we could see Mt.Fuji from this neighborhood, it was a random example though.

Risa: I could see it! That’s why it caught my eyes (laugh).

- However, you became able to clearly say what you think year after year. In our interview before, you also said “I want to do radio job”, then you got chance to fill the position of “School of Lock” personality as Hirate Yurina-san’s pinch hitter. What on earth is this change of mind?

Risa: Up until now, even though I want to do this, I want to do that, I don’t say what I think very much. Though I think “action before words” is way cooler (laugh). However, I finally realized in this past year that saying what I think would be a benefit. I feel that it might be better to say what I think particularly in this work. So, I think maybe it’s okay to say what I want to someone around me even it’s only a little bit. From now on, I hope I can be more greedy like that, even though it’s only little by little.

Using words “only a little bit”, “little by little” is indeed reflecting her humble personality. Meanwhile, from this one phrase “greedy”, it can be perceived that her sense of responsibility and confidence that were born from standing at the front row in 2 consecutive singles, are certainly being her flesh and blood now. And her desire to immediately become an adult perhaps is the embodiment of her thought that wants to have stronger mental and more capacity to carry the group… maybe we are reading her mind little too much. However, we cannot help but to feel her high potential and room for growth from her every single word, once again it is the reality. Anyway, it cannot be denied that we should pay attention to the evolution of Risa Watanabe in the future.

===================================

*sorry for my bad English

#keyakizaka46 #watanabe risa #欅坂46 #渡邉理佐 #english #translation

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jalilaloui · 3 years

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60 Funniest One-Liners That Will Leave Your Friends Laughing

BECOME THE SITCOM HERO YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE.

We've all experienced that awkward moment of silence. It happens even during a gathering of old friends. there is a lull within the conversation, and no-one knows quite what to mention . you would like to save lots of everybody from the awkwardness, but your mind may be a blank. you do not want to blurt something silly, because that just makes the instant all the more awful and cringe-worthy.

But if you had a game-plan—a foolproof joke, a one-liner, say, that would suck all the strain out of the room—why, you would be a hero! you would be the Chevy Chase circa late-'70s of your social circle, the one who might be counted on to mention the right thing at the right time to form everybody feel a touch less uncomfortable and silly. If only you had planned and had a couple of one-liners in your back pocket, ready for whenever you needed them… Relax, we have got your back. Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion. Commit them to memory, and you will have your friends laughing so hard they will not even remember why the conversation had lagged within the first place.

1- "I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus, a slice of lemon. And an attempt of tequila." 2- "I do not have a beer gut. I even have a protective covering for my rock hard abs."

3- "I read recipes an equivalent way I read fantasy . i buy to the top and that i think, 'Well, that's not getting to happen.'" 4- "Money talks. But all mine ever says is goodbye." 5- "Knowledge is knowing a tomato may be a fruit. Wisdom isn't putting it during a salad ." 6- "Life's sort of a bird. It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." 7- "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they are doing yoga a day . That's a touch of a stretch." 8- "I do not have a girlfriend. But i do know a woman that might get mad if she heard me say that." 9- "A computer once beat me at chess. But it had been no match on behalf of me at kickboxing." 10- "I have tons of growing up to try to to . i noticed that the opposite day inside my fort." 11- "Give a person a fish and you feed him for each day . But teach a person to fish, and you saved yourself a fish, haven't you?" 12- "We have enough youth. How a few Fountain of Smart?" 13- "A clear conscience is typically the sign of a nasty memory." 14- "My therapist says I even have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see that ." 15- My first experience with culture shock? Probably once I peed on an electrical fence." 16- "Worrying works! quite 90 percent of the items I worry about never happen." 17- "I do not have an attitude problem. you've got a perception problem." 18- "Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a cheerful Meal!" 19- "The easiest time to feature insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast." 20- "You don't need a parachute to travel skydiving. you would like a parachute to travel skydiving twice." 21- "Letting go of a beloved are often hard. But sometimes, it is the only thanks to survive a hiking catastrophe." 22- "A positive attitude might not solve all of your problems. But it'll annoy enough people to form it well worth the effort." 23- "Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back." 24- "Build a person a fireplace , and he'll be warm for each day . Set a person ablaze , and he'll be warm for the remainder of his life." 25- "Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil." 26- "Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is usually soap? i prefer to fill mine with mustard, just to show people a lesson in trust." 27- "I wont to be indecisive. Now I'm unsure ." 28- "Women shouldn't have children after 35. 35 children are enough.

29- "Going to church doesn't cause you to a Christian any longer than standing during a garage causes you to a car."

30- "It's never an honest idea to stay both feet firmly on the bottom . you will have trouble putting on your pants.

31- "Change is inevitable—except from a slot machine ."

32- "Why does someone believe you once you say there are four billion stars but checks once you say the paint is wet?" 33- I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it." "What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a 34-"southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time…' A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this'"

35- "The last item i would like to try to to is hurt you. But it's still on the list." 36- "There are three sorts of people: those that can count and people who can't." 37- "I am not a vegetarian because i like animals. i'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." 38- "At every party there are two sorts of people: those that want to travel home and people who don't. the difficulty is, they're usually married to every other." 39- "If Walmart is lowering prices a day , why isn't anything within the store free yet?" 40- "The easiest job within the world has got to be coroner. what is the worst thing that would happen? If everything goes wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse." 41- "I have all the cash I'll ever need—if I die by 3:00 p.m. this afternoon." 42- "A TV can insult your intelligence. But nothing rubs it in sort of a computer." 43- "When tempted to fight fire with fire, always remember… the hearth department usually uses water." 44- "You are such an honest friend that, if we were on a sinking ship together and there was just one life vest , I'd miss you such a lot and mention you fondly to everybody who asked." 45- "The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." 46- "This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder." Some cause happiness wherever they are going . Others whenever they are going ." 47- "It's not the autumn that kills you. it is the sudden stop at the top ." 48- "Feeling pretty pleased with myself. The puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months." 49- "Just burned 2,000 calories. that is the last time I leave brownies within the oven while I nap." 50- "My boss goes to fireside the worker with the worst posture. I even have a hunch, it'd be me." 51- "Don't trust atoms, they create up everything. Did you hear about the guy who got hit within the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it had been a beverage . 52- "I was hooked in to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around." 53- "When I lose the TV controller, it is often hidden in some remote destination." 54- "Most people are shocked once they determine how bad i'm as an electrician." 55- "My first job was working in an fruit juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate." 56- "My mathematics teacher called me average. How mean!"

57- "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they open their mouths."

58- "The problem isn't that obesity runs in your family. the matter is not any one runs in your family."

59- "Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil."

60- "Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but checks when you say the paint is wet?"

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milliondollarintent · 4 years

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A MILLION DOLLAR INTENT

One million dollars is a great benchmark for an aspiring entrepreneur to work forward to, it is generally speaking an achievable goal, considering selling 1000 USD worth of a product to 1000 customers. The moment you put a plan and numbers on paper the illusive sum is no longer that illusive.

And well, it is one of my aspiring benchmarks as well. I am not yet there and I am not yet anywhere near, but since its a new year and new decade of 2020 I came up with an idea to document my journey to catching this unicorn.

I would consider myself as a second generation since I do not really start from a pure zero, but if we keep in mind the generation of business, then I would say I am rather a first generation actually. I am coming from Eastern Europe, which implies that I am not coming from an wealthy background, i consider myself as a crazy workaholic hardworking middle class.

My father and his family are coming from a rural village, while my mother is coming from provincial port city. I have a good international education and speak fluently 4 language. My parents did not really manage to create a sustainable business, but they invested heavily in showing the wider world to their children, hence the ambition to overachieve and give back.

I hope these occasional thoughts will be giving a good solid self motivation practice, but also opens up a dialogue for what is done well, what is done wrong, and where the things can be improved. Therefore any comments are much appreciated.

Money is just a tool and the millions can materialise in different ways and forms, so i have decided to save those aspiring millions in variety of goals and purposes, and i will explain each and one of them one by one, but it is an initial list for consideration:

Million in charity and donations

Million in real estate

Million in liquid cash

Million in stock investment portfolio

Million in business revenues

Million in merchandise stock

Million in profit

Million in art collection

Million in gold bars

Million in wine bottles

Million in cars

Million in boats

Million in real estate

I currently own some real estate, four locations to be precise, their evaluation is not overly high due to their eastern european locations, and we will discuss deeper their value and a future potential in a more detailed blogpost. But none the less they are very unique locations with some good history. It is a solid foundation already, and I hope to continue growing real estate portfolio in a near future, and we will discuss more some elaborated ideas and opinions on how to approach this topic.

Million in liquid cash

Cash is the king. I visited Singapore few times a while ago and was very surprised to learn more about this incredible country, most in particular that every second person there is an asset millionaire and every third person is a liquid millionaire. Sounds too good to be true, but liquid million cash is amazing feeling, a freedom to purchase all necessary or excessive whenever there is an opportunity is an incredible privilege, so we will definitely aim high here. A definite goal.

Million in stock investment portfolio

It is definitely a cool thing to be a part of an international company, grow with it together, and be the part of international markets, diversify your money and put some savings to a good use, already and 2019 we were reading about some serious recession and bubble burst. The beginning of 2020 definitely proves it to be the case, and it seams like a lot of discounted stocks will be out there towards the summer, I think the markets will continue to slow down, there for it is a perfect time to enter into some new niches for the long term investment approach. Let’s try to discuss the bulls and the bears here.

Million in business revenues

I am working on a manufacturing business project, I wont go into the details of my primary full time job and business, but shortly I love manufacturing, I love production. I consider production, real estate and cashflow the pillars of success, therefore everything starts with some sort of production from zero to one. I started and failed and started again in manufacturing many times, and i do feel alive when a final product appears and packed. It feels incredibly good, i am definitely pursuing this goal and my full time commitment in developing my business, which implies selling those manufactured goods also, hence the ambition to grow business to at least a million in annual revenue.

Million in merchandise stock

I am sometimes confused in this aspect of business as some sources and partners tell me not to overstock as this is a mistake, other sources tell me stock is good, because stock is money, and running out of stock is a headache to efficiently fill in the shelves not to loose on demand. My product is essentially evergreen, without an expiry date, so as long as warehousing storage is not an issue I would not mind stocking up my merchandise as a manufacturing/sales buffer. This is true for the scale and for the depth and diversified product line, so I would definitely stock up. Yes it is a money on the shelves, but when customers come, there is something to show 1000USD price tag x 1000 customers and we achieved the ultimate goal, remember that.

Million in profit

As an aspiring creative businessman I would definitely enjoy coming up with a bestseller, and optimising my business structure in the way that it becomes profitable and brings growth and prosperity to my endeavours so that is definitely are good point to focus on. Obviously all my expansion plans and reinvesting strategies into the business will lower the annual profits, but as long as there are revenues and if the stars shine on me, that is definitely a good thing to achieve once in a while.

Million in art collection

Our brain is most active while trying to make sense looking at a sublime contemporary abstract art work. I am personally a big fan of art and an avid art galleries and museums visitor, as well as I make it a habit to travel to Venice every 2 years for the Venice Biennale to grow culturally. It stimulates, inspires, teaches, opens new horizons, raises levels of taste and sophistication. Beware of artists, they are friendly with all layers of society. They think abstractly, they foresee events and future, they predict avant-garde trends. Most of my friends are artists, designers, musicians as well as art gallery managers. So having a solid blue chip art collection to decorate the walls in your house, your office and your environment, to surround yourself with beauty, as well as to retain some value for the future generations is an incredible endeavour. And I will definitely touch more of this topic of collecting art.

Million in gold bars

Another long term investment for the future generations that showcases wealth and stability is a pure gold. Few years back the good old Switzerland with its old school banks behind closed doors decided to start bullishly expand there real solid physical gold portfolio to avoid and preview any world order changes within the next 10 years. I am monitoring this trend very closely and was right, I wanted to by my first 100 g gold bar 3-4 years back and it was at a price of around 3500 USD, today in early 2020 we see a price of 5000 USD which is a 40+% growth in only few years, and this active price spike started happening after the news I learned of that behind the closed doors swiss agreements. And now when we see recession signs. Everything matches out. But as my good banker friend told me to safely keep 5% of my net worth in gold is a good idea, so I will definitely research this topic closely this year, but unfortunately I missed those more affordable prices when i wanted to jump on the trend few years back.

Million in wine bottles

Coming from a family of farmers and having an incredible respect towards agricultural lands, I have a personal thing with grapes and wines. I don't drink beer, but a good bottle of wine is always a good treat. Wine making and wine business is another big hobby of mine which I treat semi professionally and occasionally happen to visit international wines and spirits fairs and have a great deal of experience talking to people and visiting wine caves and cellars, and eventually a mans dream is to retire with a wine chateau. There are many successful people who dedicate themselves to land and wine as their secondary careers, and a good wine collection is a homes cellars never hurt anybody, plus a tiny glass a day of quality red wine and its resveratrol features is perfect elixir for your health.

Million in cars

To be honest with you, I am not the biggest fan of cars, i do understand the efficiency and the comfort they bring, but at the same time it is a tangible asset that loses its value very quickly, so unless it is a unique collection of super cars or rare automotive history collectible cars for me don't really make much sense. I love jaguars just because they have some British Lords aesthetic and elements of class to it, all the rest of cars seem pretty boring and banal to me. A fleet of cars might make sense for logistics at some point, but I see cars as a transportation tool, nothing more nothing less, same as I consider my shoes, they have to be nice, but they are just shoes. I would also consider different types of cars from daily usage, to family comfort, to a quality night out with my woman. But none the less cars have cultural and social significance also, so lets try to figure out something around them too.

Million in boats

I have fascination with the sea. My grandfather on my mothers side was a sailor and i have a thing with boats. On top of it all, it is an important point in my life to live in a close proximity to the sea in a nearby future. Evidently it would imply using boats on a frequent basis, perhaps retire on a boat and cruise the world. I am much more the fan of boats than cars for that matter, so for me it is a serious criteria. Heavy diesel engine yachts are very costly in environmental and financial sense, sail yachts however are a different story with its most romantic adventurous touch. I am definitely looking into a catamaran for its convenience and family friendly features. I will be touching the topic of boats, it is less of an investment i would say, but is an ultimate result of achieving the set goals and success in all endeavours.

Million in charity and donations

When success hits, it is important to give back to community and people around, or supporting a cause that is close to ones heart, so I would definitely consider giving away to charities, and non profit foundations to improve aspects of life around me. This particular blog potential revenues will entirely go for charity and non profit donations, and I will gladly share causes and ideas and transparently declare what went where and why. I have some ideas of productive philanthropy and I would gladly discuss it also, as I have some ideas, and would want to know your opinions. But it is definitely important to raise awareness and give support, I will try to document my journey here also.

Conclusion

Here we are, that makes it slightly “more” than just a one million dollar intent, sounds much more unrealistic and crazy already, but one brings the other, so it is good enough ambition and an introduction post. I will try to explore my monetary net worth much deeper and more precisely with you here. Try to give some personal finance advice and well as receive some in comments. We all know that we are worth much more than a piece of paper, but it is still important to learn how to respect money and treat it properly with consideration and gain our financial independence. I would love to build a community of entrepreneur savvy enthusiasts around this blog, so if you are interested in above topics, then I invite you to join a million dollar intent club.

Yours truly

MDI

#assets #business journery #million dollars #motivation #net worth #personal finance

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brentrogers · 4 years

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What the Long-Married Have in Common

I have been fortunate to know many couples who have been married 40 years or more. In some couples, the two are like the proverbial two peas in a pod. Sometimes the two are so different, it makes other people marvel that they have been together for decades. Over the last year, I’ve been talking to 7 married couples who are happily together after many, many years to see if there are any identifiable commonalities among them.

There are. Straight or gay, regardless of backgrounds, the people in each couple have shared ideas of what they expect from themselves and each other. It may sound unromantic, but early on they made what I’m calling a kind of “contract.”

For some, it was explicit; the result of hours of talking and working things through during courtship and the early years of marriage. For others, it has been unstated but understood. Somehow, they just got each other from the beginning. Regardless, these marriages have withstood the ups and downs of life over decades because both members have lived up to their shared expectations about the areas they agreed were most important.

Each couples’ “contract” includes most of the following topics, although the order of importance varies by couple. Do note: This was not a formal study. It is an account of what emerged in conversations with elderly friends and their couple friends as we talked about their experience.

Their roles: Regardless of others’ feelings about the “rightness” of a particular style, happy couples found roles that are comfortable for them. Some couples were quite happy with what could be described as the traditional nuclear family, with one person being the primary homemaker and parent and the other providing the financial support. Other couples would be appalled by that idea – and created a more equalitarian style. Others agreed on something in-between. It’s the agreement, not the arrangement, that made them comfortable.

How decisions are made: There’s an old joke: An interviewer asks a couple how decisions are made. “He makes the important decisions.” said the wife. “I make the minor ones – like where we should live, how our money is managed, and how to discipline the kids.” “So what important decisions does your husband make ?” asked the interviewer. “Well”, said the wife, “things like whether Russia or China is a bigger threat, and if we should be worried about robots taking over our jobs”. For most of the couples, it was much more complicated than that. But it was making a clear decision about how decisions were to be made that made life easier. One woman said she found it freeing to know what decisions needed a conversation and which ones were her responsibility.

Frequency and style of sex: Some couples I interviewed have lived happily with little sex. Some agreed that sex every morning is the right start to the day. One couple in their late 80s joked they have as many positions as the Kama Sutra. Others settled contentedly into one. What kept couples together is shared satisfaction with whatever they decided was right for them.

Fidelity: Fidelity is in the eyes of the couple. For some, sex with anyone else would have been a deal-breaker. For others, it’s been okay to have casual sex with other people but “don’t tell me about it”. They all stressed the importance of an agreement being a real agreement; not a concession; not a resignation. That agreement is sacrosanct. If one person were to unilaterally break the agreement, the relationship would be in serious trouble.

Money: Next to fidelity, all of the couples agreed that a lack of a clear understanding about how money is made, spent, and saved would have been a serious threat to their marriage. These long-married couples worked out their financial understanding early on.

Religion, politics, race, and culture: For two of the couples, their marriage has been what one described as “a cross-cultural experience”. The long-married couples who came from dissimilar backgrounds (religion, race, nationality, political views, etc.) have an abiding respect for each other’s beliefs and traditions. Their differences have been enriching and an endless and interesting topic of conversation

Relationships with extended family: Some couples welcomed their own aging parents or their adult kids or other relatives into their home for extended periods of time. Others find the observation by Mark Twain that “fish and relatives stink after 3 days” is true. Some people talk to their relatives weekly, even daily. Others have seen them for only on an annual holiday or two. For all of the couples, there was an agreement about the degree of influence by the older generation as well as agreement about their obligation to the extended family.

Relationship with friends: Is it okay for each to have their own friends or must all friendships be shared? Is it okay to have a best friend who is of the other sex – or does that threaten the marriage? One man in his 90s suggested that decisions about social relationships are related to a couple’s security in each other’s fidelity. “I trust her absolutely, so I have never had a problem with who she spends time with.”

Kids: Children do change almost everything. They take time, energy, and money. Priorities shift. These couples had a shared idea about whether to add children, how to raise them, and who should do what. Most who did have kids carved out a “date night” to ensure their coupleness didn’t get lost in the chaos of family life.

Regardless of the topic, I think what separates the long-married from relationships that don’t last is their commitment to their “contract” and their willingness to talk about it whenever one or the other thought there needed to be a change.

Change isn’t necessarily a threat. Sometimes change is forced by necessity; sometimes by experience; sometimes by the fact that people do grow up and grow into a different perspective about an issue. What was most meaningful to me in my conversations with these couples was the respect they had for each other and their commitment to meeting challenges and changes together. One elderly woman agreed. “But don’t forget to tell people”, she said. “A sense of humor really helps.”

What the Long-Married Have in Common syndicated from

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whorchataaa · 4 years

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What the Long-Married Have in Common

There are. Straight or gay; regardless of backgrounds; the people in each couple have shared ideas of what they expect from themself and each other. It may sound unromantic, but early on they made what I’m calling a kind of “contract.”

from https://ift.tt/2XxKJvg Check out https://peterlegyel.wordpress.com/

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ashley-unicorn · 4 years

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What the Long-Married Have in Common

from https://ift.tt/2XxKJvg Check out https://daniejadkins.wordpress.com/

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erraticfairy · 4 years

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What the Long-Married Have in Common

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2XxKJvg via theshiningmind.com

#World of Psychology #child psychology

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positivepsychologyinterventions · 4 years

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What the Long-Married Have in Common

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2XxKJvg via IFTTT

#IFTTT #World of Psychology

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jessicakehoe · 5 years

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From the FASHION Archives: Lady Gaga Was Always Going to be Famous

Since its launch in 1977, FASHION magazine has been giving Canadian readers in-depth reports on the industry’s most influential figures and expert takes on the worlds of fashion, beauty and style. In this series, we explore the depths of our archive to bring you some of the best fashion features we’ve ever published. This story, originally titled “Gaga” by Elio Iannacci, was initially published in FASHION’s February 2014 issue.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY INEZ AND VINDOOH AND STYLED BY BRANDON MAXWELL, LADY GAGA WEARS A JACKET, PRICE ON REQUEST, BY COME DES GARCONS AND GLASSES, PRICE ON REQUEST, BY EARLY HALLOWEEN. HAIR BY SHAY ASHAUL BY TIM HOWARD. MAKEUP BY YADIM FOR ART PARTNER. MANICURE BY JIN SOON CHOI FOR JED ROOT.

It’s hard to believe that it’s only been five years since Lady Gaga released her first album, The Fame. The sheer number of images, hits and sound bites the 27-year-old has ushered into popular culture is uncanny. The New York native’s wardrobe choices have inspired lookalike fans and popularized collections from such designers as Jean Paul Gaultier and Hussein Chalayan. Her first fragrance, Fame, launched in 2012, sold six million bottles during its first week. University courses have analyzed her socio-political significance. She’s the only chart-topper to have used the word “transgendered” in a Billboard number one hit (2011’s “Born This Way”), and her 40 million-plus Twitter followers and 60 million Facebook fans have witnessed her fight for equal rights for women and the LGBT community. Last year, Time Magazine’s readers named her the second most influential person of the decade (beating out U.S. President Barack Obama). Unlike so many in her line of work, Gaga’s affection for fashion is not a flirtation. Whether donning legendary labels, new technologies or message-based garments, the woman formerly known as Stefani Germanotta is a living, breathing canvas. Which is probably why Donatella Versace chose Gaga as the new face of her label. Before her upcoming world tour, Gaga sat down with features editor Elio Iannacci to talk about her latest obsessions and her current album, Artpop.

You once said you wanted to be regarded as the female Andy Warhol. Do you feel closer to that goal? When I said that, I didn’t have a concept of where my career was headed. When I was writing Artpop, I was really looking at where we are now as a culture. I was in H&M the other day, looking around just to see the effect that Monster culture has had on street fashion. People used to say, ‘Who is this weird girl with her crazy outfits?’

How did the subsequent surge of fame affect you? I never let anyone change who I was. I was always willing to go down with my own artistic ship. I create things that I really care about—I fight for images, for music and for the community of fans. Born This Way was all about equality and being yourself from the inside out, but now there’s a need to celebrate that. Artpop is a celebration.

You have a mandate to make a space where high and low art, fashion and music can live together. To many, this is still seen as a radical act. This is the dilemma. I don’t believe there’s pretension in art. You don’t have to know anything about art to love it. You just have to be next to it and feel it. I want my fans to know that we don’t have to succumb to what people think a pop star should be in order to be successful.

You were accepted into The Juilliard School as a child, but your parents placed you in a private Catholic school. Had you gone through that classical training, would there be a Lady Gaga? Probably. There’s this implication that if I wasn’t so successful I would have to stop. But I never would have stopped. I would be in some bar, being Lady Gaga.

You’ve recently taken workshops with Marina Abramović—the performance artist who has risked her life for her art. How have they changed your perceptions? I thought that after The Fame, The Fame Monster and Born This Way, it had all worn me down. It felt like my mind and every muscle in my body had been taken by the noise and the cameras—but it hadn’t. I went into the woods with Marina [for an artistic workshop] and I realized how strong I really was. [Marina] will balance on a stick between her legs for nine hours and go numb in the name of art. For her, it’s all about creating this experience with the audience where they’re watching her suffer for her work. Once I was out there with the sound of the river and Marina’s calm, sweet voice telling me to close my eyes and find my way home, I knew I could do anything.

Let’s talk about the paintings of you hanging in the Louvre in Paris. You sat with Robert Wilson to recreate some historic works. Which were the most challenging? I have a connection to old souls, so there was sort of a séance element where I asked artists of the past to give me permission to feel their pain. When I was doing [Jacques-Louis David’s] The Death of Marat, I lay in each position for six or seven hours. I also did my own piece, where I hung upside-down for 45 minutes in bondage. It wasn’t meant to be sexual. I believe everyone has the power to be an art hero. You don’t have to wait until you’re dead to be appreciated, [even though] this is the age when they wait until you die to write nice things about you.

At a time when you were criticized for gaining weight, you created the body revolution movement and asked fans of all body types to post photos of themselves on your site. Did seeing their bravery help your self-esteem? My self-esteem was fine. I didn’t have a problem with my weight—the world did. The body revolution was just my way of liberating myself from that criticism. That’s what I wrote ‘Do What U Want’ about. Did it heal me? No. But I was happy to see so many fans stripping naked to show they didn’t care either. I want to remind everyone that the people who win Nobel Peace Prizes and cure diseases are not supermodels. Your legacy does not need to be a perception of beauty that’s not realistic.”

In 2009, you gave a speech at the National Equality March in Washington and called it the most important moment of your career. The rage in that speech was directed at U.S. President Barack Obama. Do you think it had an effect? You don’t know exactly where your activism is going to land. I was just one person speaking out. I grew up with gay friends, and when I started to come out with my music, they were still there, supporting me. How could I sit down every night making money off a ticket that they’re buying for my show, knowing that they don’t have the same rights that I have? I can’t do that.

Donatella Versace once told me you are today’s quintessential role model. You’ve written a song about her on Artpop that hints at how misunderstood she is. Why do you think she’s so misjudged? Nobody really knows anything about her. She is the most kind, loving, sweet woman. The point I am making with a song like ‘Donatella’ is that you love to love her and you love to hate her. It’s this thing we have in common. The truth is, we’re having a blast doing what we are doing, so that’s our silver lining. We don’t mind being these blonde martyred icons as long as we have our champagne and our Marlboro cigarettes whenever we’re together. I went to her house in Milan last year, and I was having a really tough time. I was exhausted on the Born This Way tour and she opened her home to me and had 50,000 white roses in the house. I don’t always have anyone to look up to, but seeing Donatella, where she is and how far she’s come, I get to have a role model.

You’ve managed to give the Fashion Police less power by showing up on the red carpet in meat dresses and giant eggs. Was this a conscious choice? My whole life is a fucking red carpet. The red carpet has become ridiculous. All these women are starving themselves to look amazing because this is their big moment? Why shouldn’t the press adore them every day for being entertainers? I use the red carpet as a stage. I was supposed to do something at the VMAs that they didn’t let me do. I was very upset about it. I wanted to have five or six Gagas walk the carpet in all my looks from all my videos. A lot of exciting things happened at the VMAs, so it was strange that I couldn’t do that.

You’ve written three songs with the word ‘fashion’ in the title. What keeps drawing you to this contradictory, extreme, egotistical and often magical world? It was always the thing that made me feel like I could be anything, no matter what anyone said about me. When I felt small or unimportant, my ability to sew things and invent myself like an art piece meant everything. That’s why I’ve always cared about my costumes and my show. It’s never been marketing… fashion gave me a sense of who I am.

The post From the FASHION Archives: Lady Gaga Was Always Going to be Famous appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

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alifeenrouteblog · 6 years

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72 hours in havana, cuba

Why I went to Havana

My obsession with getting to Cuba is convoluted. My Uncle Mike was sick for well over a decade; a heart transplant led to lung cancer for the 63-year-old nonsmoker. His wife, my Aunt Suzanne, unexpectedly died in the summer of 2015, which was very hard for everyone in the family. But of course, it was the hardest for Mike; they had been married for 40+ years. We all saw how a part of him died the day Suzanne died.

I could go on and on about how amazing the two of them were but I'll keep it quick. After Suzanne passed, Mike became more obsessed with traveling. I think the depression of losing his one true love drove him to want to do some very ambitious travel. He wasn't well and probably should not have traveled internationally at all, so it took us all for a surprise when he told everyone we would be doing a family trip to Cuba the Christmas after Suzanne died. He wanted to do it before he died. A newly opened country to the US does not sound like the best place for a man struggling to beat cancer. But that was Mike.

I'm not sure if my Dad talked him out of it or if Mike just forgot about it or what exactly happened, but I know the conversation about Cuba stopped after Christmas. Mike passed away that June. Four days after my Uncle Mark (his brother and roommate) died. Yes, that is correct. We lost two uncles/brothers in the span of four days. I wouldn't say I was extremely close with either one of them. Mostly because they were far across the country. But both of them were amazingly kind and loving people. I admired them very much. And I loved them deeply. When they died, I silently went into a deep depression.

At first, it was the pain of seeing my Dad in so much pain. Other than my brother and I, Mike and Mark were his only living immediate family. His parents have both died. The fourth brother David, passed away in an accident in 2005. His brothers were his best friends. Seeing my Dad lose everyone made me want to scream. It was so incredibly painful. My Dad's great at keeping it together but I knew how much he was suffering. And probably still is.

When I got home from the joint funeral, and for the rest of the summer, anytime I got home from the bar or had a couple of glasses of wine in my apartment, I would sob in my bed. For hours. Sometimes, I'd drunk dial my brother and cry to him about how much I missed them. But other than that, I never told anyone how much I was hurting. If you don't understand this next statement, I don't blame you, but it's all I can do to explain the dark place I was in at the time - I had a survivor's guilt. I didn't think I deserved to live while the two best men I knew died in their early sixties. I hated it. At the time, I wasn't proud of anything I'd done. I wasn't suicidal but I just felt like the world would have been better with Mike and Mark than with me.

I know that's not logical thinking and I eventually healed. I still miss them but I stopped that survivor's guilt thinking. I did want to feel closer to them though and I thought the best way was to do what they always wanted to do - go to Cuba.

A little less than a year after Mike passed, I went to Cuba - alone, and having done little research. Only for about 72 hours. And about 20 additional hours of travel. I didn't do enough museums, tours, etc. Because I was too nervous about the language barrier and not having enough cash. But fuck it. I did the best I could. It was worth it. 100%.

I cried on the cab ride from the airport to my airbnb. Just seeing this magical, forbidden place and thinking about Mike and Mark. The whole trip was profound. The buildings are beautiful and colorful. When I walked around early in the morning, the streets smelled of men's cologne.

I cried a lot there. I cried because it was so beautiful. I cried because I was grateful to be there. And I cried because I missed Mike and Mark. But I wouldn't change anything. I'd love to go back and spend more time and do the right things.

This was only my second trip alone. My first solo trip I just read on the beach in a sleepy fishing village in Nicaragua. But in Havana there is so much to do and see and I wish I did more. I wish I went to the beach or the museums or some of the tours. Unfortunately, I had a lot of anxiety there. I was too scared to ask for directions or help. But I left that trip with so much confidence and I went on the next trip much more able to navigate big city travel alone.

I didn't wait for the perfect trip, where I was there for 10 days, practiced Spanish, and planed every day’s itinerary. I saw a small window of opportunity and just went for it. Even if I missed a bunch of stuff while I was there.

I don't have all the best advice on what to do there but I think walking around Havana for hours aimlessly is the best. It’s so beautiful. You'll see things there you won't see anywhere else. The smells and sounds are once in a lifetime.

Here is some logisitical info you might find helpful:

Getting to Cuba

I planned for a five days trip to Havana. I was flying from a client engagement in Minneapolis to Havana, so that my flight there was paid for by my client. One of the few things I miss about consulting. I ended up cutting my trip short when I was asked to do another client engagement in San Francisco the following week. I just cut the trip to three days and flew straight to San Francisco from Havana. It was so much travel and I was exhausted but well worth it.

I flew Spirit to Havana. And American Airlines for my return. When I booked my ticket online through Spirit, the airline asked why I was going, giving a list of 11 choices. I chose education purposes - I was there to learn more about the Cuban culture to better US/Cuban relations. Its not as scary as everyone made it seem. Basically, you can't be there to get shit faced and celebrate your friend's bachelor(ette) party.

After I purchased my flight, I has to go to a separate website to apply for a Visa for about $75. Spirit Air provided me the link to the company they go through for Cuban visas. I heard confirmation from the company a few days later.

From my confirmation email from Spirit: TRAVEL TO CUBA: We noticed you're traveling to Cuba. Que bueno! There are very important rules & regulations for travel to Cuba relating to visa requirements, permissible travel reasons, Cuban health insurance (which has already been included in your ticket price) and more. Please be sure to review those details here and take care of all paperwork beforehand to ensure that your travel to Cuba is authorized. Customers who don't meet the legal requirements to travel to Cuba will not be allowed to board their flight.

I flew via Fort Lauderdale. Before my flight, I had to go to a Spirit counter and get the physical visa. The company sent Spirit the information so I just had to provide my Passport and I got my visa, which I needed to board the flight.

From Airline Brokers, the company who issued my Visa: Dear Travelers: Your visa has been accepted !!!!! passengers who are departing to HAVANA, CUBA your visa's will only be given to the person who requested and paid for them in advance through our website , they will be handed at the SPIRIT AIRLINES DEPARTURE GATE INSIDE the FORT LAUDERDALE AIRPORT FOLLOW THE SIGN THAT SAYS CUBA VISAS.

What I Did in Havana

Customs at the Havana airport was pretty normal, but at the time, very busy. Mostly with young Americans. You're supposed to keep receipts and a log of what you do during your time in Cuba, proving you were there for educational purposes, i.e. receipts from a msueum.

Don't plan on using debit or credit cards on the island. I brought about $200 with me and exchanged it at the airport. There are two different types of currency in Cuba. The Cuban Peso (CUP) and the Cuban Convertible Peso (CUC). You want to exchange most of your money to CUC. But apparently, its handy to have some small denominations in CUP for busses, etc. If your debit card is from the US, you probably won't be able to use your cards but might be able to use it at an ATM.

I stayed in a private room at an airbnb in Old Havana, near the Spanish Embassy. If you don't want to stay at a hotel because of price or any other reason, I recommend getting a room in an Airbnb in a family's apartment/house - Someone that speaks English. (Obviously, a hotel would have this sort of amenity too). Because you probably won't have cell or internet service and staying with someone who knows Havana and speaks English is key.

I called both AT&T and Verizon (personal and work phones) and both said I would have service but I did not. You need to go to a government office when you get there and get an internet card, then you can use public wifi like at a hotel.

I walked around the city for 8 to 12 hours a day. it's the most beautiful place in the world. A lot of the city is in ruin too. But I think it adds to the beauty. The people were so kind. Surprisingly, everyone, I spoke with loved Americans.

Havana is extremely safe. Tourism is one of their only imports and I heard that the government has strongly impressed upon its citizens to not fuck with tourists for that very reason. The most you'll have to deal with is the hundreds of cab drivers asking if you need a ride.

Be prepared for less than great food. Especially if you're a Cuban food fan. It might have improved since I went, but when I was there it was still clear that the country couldn't get a lot of good food imported.

Things I didn't do but wish I did. Go to the beach. The Museum of the Revolution. Like I mentioned above, I did not do enough tourist things. It was only my second trip alone and the first one was on the beach exclusively. Again, solo travel was new to me.

So I don't have all the best advice on what to see and do there. But I hope I helped with

Whenever I travel alone, I listen to a lot of podcasts as I walk around. I was doing this on my last day when a woman, probably a few years older than me, stopped me and asked where I was from. Then she told me not to have my ear buds in. I should be listening to the sounds of Havana. People chatting. Music playing. Because that's what makes it so special and beautiful.

#Cuba #havana #travel

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