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#i tell her what im reading and what im writing
fipindustries · 2 days
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bojack horse bad again
you know, i was thinking back to this show again, i watched three seasons of it and that was all that i could tomach and you know what? no.
i dont accept it
i dont care, it was a bad show, it was an objectively bad show and i dont accept that everyone else decided that it was good, i dont care, it was a bad show and im going to tell you why.
emotional terrorism
maybe im a simpleton but i am someone who cares quite a lot about catharsis in my stories. this show refused to grant that, adamantly and violently. im not saying i need a happy ending, i am more than capable of enjoying bittersweet or even tragic stories, but i need a sense of completeness, some satisfaction, some release, some sense that things matter or meant something. this show insisted on refusing to give that. all this show was interested in was get an emotional reaction out of you. it was the emotional equivalent of a jump scare. it was convinced that if it made you feel bad enough people would confuse that with beeing powerful and deep. you could get the same reaction by walking up to someone on the street and kicking them in the nuts. and it would take about as much subtlety or artistry.
2. writer led rather than animator led
you could tell this was one of those shows that were made on the writer's room, not by storyboarders or artists, by "comedians". by people with english degrees. so many scenes of characters just standing around and talking. so many "jokes" that were clearly meant to be funny as something you read on a piece of paper or on a tweet and chuckle as you read it but as animation it just gave limp, stagnant scenes. so much dialog that were references and quips and puns and fast witticisms of the type you come up in the shower when thinking of clever comebacks.
there were so many fucking scenes where everything would stop and a character would launch on some stupid profound monologue about life and philosophy and psychology and relationships. it was like the writers were trying on for size paragraphs of their future memoirs or self help books. so much dialog that was begging for an award for writing. so many "mic drop" moments that were designed to be quoted. i find that the best writing is not the one that you can just quote out of context as a cool pithy phrase. a lot of the best writing ive seen in my life is meaningless when devoid of context, is inextricable of the scene and indeed of the entire story surrounding it but in here i can almost see the seams where the writers look at the camera waiting to see if you are impressed
3. inconsistent tone
this show wanted to eat its cake and then still have it. there are stories that manage to deftly weave in and out of comedic moments into serious moments. everything everywhere all at once does an amazing job jumping from the stupidest, most childish jokes into the most profound commentary about human nature, sometimes doing both at the same time and it worked, one didint cheapen the other.
in here though, it wanted to both have a completly absurd world with the stupidest characters ever and then somehow make us care for it all as if the show hadnt shot itself in the foot. it wanted us to see caroline being in love with what is clearly three children in a trenchcoat and then take her seriously as an adult, to treat any forther relationship drama she has as if it werent completly farcical.
4. ugly animation
it continued the blight that is take over adult animation by doing that disgusting repugnant paper puppet rigged interpolated quasi flash animation that only gives you stiff poses and movements and incredibly boring shots of characters standing in 3/4 perspective in front of the camera. it dull and flat and clunky and ugly, and the character designs were ugly. the noses were ugly and the mouths were ugly and the hairs were ugly and the eyes were ugly. it was all ugly. the backgrounds were fucking ugly and the colors were ugly and it was an ugly show to look at. unbearably so. and even the obligatory "weird" stylized scenes put in to shake things off and try to pretend that it was visually interesting (for like one scene per season) were also fucking ugly.
5. it had not interesting point to make
all it could do was insist and belavor and extemporize about how this one guy sucks and also most people kind of suck but specifically this one guy really sucks and he is not going to get better, or maybe he will? eh maybe, but not really, because he sucks. and we are going to make you like him because we are the writers and we are going to make him relatable and charismatic and sympathetic but actually no he sucks, you fell for it! and what does it say about you that you almost kind of liked him eh????. season after season of him, and in case you almost found anything redeemable about him, we are going to make him even worse, painfully unsubtly so, we are going to make him look at the camera and say that he sucks, because that is the level of nuance we think you can handle, dear viewer. this is called "self aware writing" and its postmodern and meta, which means its clever.
i fucking hate this show and the more i think about it the angrier it makes me, and what makes me more angriest of all is that people like it. its popular. it won awards i think. its largely recognized as a good show and its not! it sucks and its bad and if you like it you are stupid.
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my-jukebox · 2 days
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hihi! i have a obey me request that i thought of after reading the hug headcanons w the brothers post you made!! (it was REALLY nice btw <3 i loved it!)
what about mc coming home after a tiring day at RAD and mammon just hugs them n they just have a cute fluffy moment …or!! mammon coming home after a tiring day at RAD, and mc just hugs him n again they have a cute fluffy moment, any of the two are fine since they’re both so cute!! im gonna leave the choice up to ya, cant wait too see what u write <3
- 🃏 anon! :3
I'm so glad you loved the previous post. I brainstormed my best here and tried to make it longer so forgive me if it's not up to the mark. Also God it took so long, I'm sorry.
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Genre: Oneshot, Fluff
Characters: (gn! reader), and Mammon.
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"Mammon, towards the light!"
The photographer said as Mammon turned towards the light, maintaining his pose. He had been going for hours together with only a ten minute break every hour.
"Majolish is gonna love these pics. Great job today!" was all Mammon heard before he rushed to his studio room and removed his makeup. He looked so tired, to the point where he should've considered getting Asmo to keep the people at bay.
He took deep breaths and finally got some shut eye until—
"Mammon, the next shot is ready!"
"Ahh shit, here we go again!"
Mammon headed out the room and watched as the studio began filling up with multiple models who he was supposed to pose with.
'This is gonna be draining!' He thought as he was being dressed and practically, dragged by his photographer on the stage.
The lecture seemed never ending. The professor kept talking about Latin phrases for spells and potions but all you could think about was sleep.
"(Y/N)?" The teacher called out.
"(Y/N)!?" She repeated.
"Yeah!!"
"Are you zoning out? Please pay attention or else you'll fail the midterms."
"Yes, ma'am"
The teacher nodded her head at you and went back to teaching some spells again. You couldn't be bothered. You'd just have to pull up another study session with the brothers again, it seems.
The minute the bell rang, you got up from the bench, refusing to greet anybody as you made your way to the House of Lamentation.
Upon reaching back home, you entered your room to find Mammon asleep on your bed. You gently shook him.
"Mammon, are you alright? It's pretty rare to find you here of all places." You said, voice laced with concern.
"I'm alright. I'm just so tired. When I tell ya' I was like a prisoner there, I'm not kiddin'!!" He said as he looked up at you. He had absolutely no energy left in him.
"There?" You asked, unsure of what he was talking about.
"The modelling studio. Those stupid, little ahhhh.....they weren't letting me rest." He said, clearly annoyed with how his entire day went. You chuckled at his little rage towards his workers before throwing your bag on the floor and removing your shoes, making your way towards the bed.
"Aww baby don't worry. You wanna....cuddle?" You asked him as you watched his cheeks get flushed with different shades of red.
You laughed and opened your arms wide for him. He scowled but still laid down on your chest as you massage his head gently. This moment was all you needed. Especially after a day like this.
"How was your day?" He said softly, so as to not disturb the peaceful moment.
"Eh. You weren't there in class so it wasn't the best." He grinned widely at you response.
"Of course it wasn't the best. The Great Mammon promises to never leave you alone again."
"I'll hold you on that promise."
You hear a low rumble from Mammon, indicating that he was chuckling. You hug him even tighter, never wanting to let go. As you both cuddled, you found yourself finally content and at peace after such an awful day.
And so, you both stayed up the entire night; talking, laughing, joking about everything and nothing at the same time. The night began to fade slowly as you both found yourselves with each other once again, cherishing the eventful moments of closeness as the world outside was asleep.
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I finally did it. i got a conclusion at last!
~Masterlist~
Do like, comment and/or reblog if you enjoyed!
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ilypaigebuckets · 8 hours
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could u write hc about going to a party with Caitlin?
Going to a Party w/ Caitlin Clark
hey guys i’m so sorry but im not feeling too well so im just going to write headcannons tonight and ill finish up/start oneshot requests tmrw! i don’t have a lot of requests so if you’d like to leave one feel free to:) i also have some ideas so stay tuned for that!
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
- Caitlin is really protective of you whenever she takes you to parties. Her arm is always snaked around your waist
- If people try to buy you drinks she’ll get upset and tell them off
- “She’s taken man. you can go now :)”
- you guys turn it up on the dance floor, and dance to literally anything
- She doesn’t drink too much. she wants to be alert for when you inevitably get absolutely hammered
- If you feel uncomfortable? no problem. she’ll take you home and you guys will spend the night together watching movies and doing your skincare routine. she’s more of a homebody anyways.
- If you’re an emotional drunk, she’ll just hold you and listen to whatever you’re saying.
- “what’s that baby? justin and selena broke up? i know baby girl i know it’s sad”
- If you’re a touchy drunk, she lets you touch her as much as you want
- as long as you keep it pg, she doesn’t wanna do anything while she’s sober and you’re drunk because she doesn’t want you to feel like she took advantage of you
- she is in one of 2 moods when you wake up with a hangover.
- she’ll either be super sweet and snuggly and babies you
- or she’ll get sassy with you
- “you shouldn’t have drank so much then”
- it usually starts off with sassy caitlin, but she can’t stand to stay mad at you
- she’s just happy you have fun going out with her
- the day after you guys spend the morning together in bed sleeping in
ahhh sorry this was so short maybe i’ll make a part 2 🥲 thank u guys for reading my stuff it honestly means a lot because just the fact that someone enjoys what i’m writing is so sweet to me yk? thank u!!!! <3 MWAH
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iluvpinkkk · 1 day
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I’m sorry my beautiful boy…
Scaramouche x fem!reader angst
(I was reading angst stories so i decided to write one too😊)
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He should have know… he should have noticed it sooner… but he’s now to late.. now he has to see his first love being buried, he can’t take this pain anymore so he walked away from the funeral, he hated himself, even disgusted with himself for ever cheating on his first love.. if only she had told him sooner he would have helped instead of making her live through hell…
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“Jeez can’t you even do anything properly” he said in a annoyed tone, as he looks down at you while you try to clean up the food you had accidentally spilled due to your hand shaking. “Sorry scara” you said in a soft tone
“Whatever I’m going out don’t wait for me oh and don’t call or text” he said as he got ready to leave. “Where are you going?” You asked. “Mind your own business” he said in a annoyed tone as he walked out
After a few months your condition as gotten worse.
Scaramouche looked at you in disgust as he saw you on the ground with food spilled on you. “I’m s-sorry scara I tried to hold on it tight but I-“ you get cut off by scara. “Fucking save it, jeez you really are pathetic, no wonder you were single for a while and for being known as the weird girl” he said in a disgusted tone.
“Anyways I been wanting to tell you I found someone new so I wanna break up with you,I’ll be moving out of this place in a week” he said and walked out of the place. You just stayed there on the floor processing the word he just told you
After a week he moved out and fully started dating the girl he cheated on you with and moved in with her, you just smiled after you waved goodbye to him as you thought it was for the best as you would be gone… unfortunately you had to go to the hospital but you had no one to call as your friends are out of town and your parents live in another country so you had to call your ex boyfriend. He eventually accepted so he told yuki that he was going somewhere, yuki tried to ask where but he just told her it was a family emergency
At the hospital you were getting your stuff ready to leave as the doctor told you that it was best for you to do the things you love as you only had a few months left. Scaramouche was devastated to find out the truth… he refused to believe it… but unfortunately he can’t do anything but to watch you slowly leave this world. He made it his mission to try and give you the best memories during these few months left
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“Scara you don’t have to come with me I can go alone” you said with a smile. “Yuki will get mad if she found out you’re still hanging out with your ex” you said while looking at the cherry blossom you loved. He hates how you said ex. But he knew it was the trust your not his girlfriend anymore your not his anymore still he refused to believe it. “I told her I was at a family only dinner don’t worry about anything” he said with a soft tone a tone he never use with you as he kiss the top of your head
He should have let you take those pictures you wanted to take the moment you started dating, he should have let you record your guys dates. So he decided to take videos and pictures on his own to have something to remember you. He thought to himself how beautiful you looked while the wind blew….
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Now it was your last day.. he was devastated he refused to let you go. “Y/n pls don’t leave me!! Come on love you have to stay strong what- what about the dream we both had!!” He cried out as he hold onto your hand. “I’m s-sorry scara I tried but now I have to go, p-plus you have yuki you can have to dreams with her” you said as you tried your best to stay awake
“No no no I don’t want yuki to fulfill those dreams I want us to fulfill it pls don’t leave me!!” He sobbed and and lay on the the bed with you to hold you close.
“Im tired but pls don’t forget us…pls fulfill our dream for me..don’t forget i love you scara. I’ll only be a dream now” you said in a low tone as your eyes slowly start closing
“I’m sorry my beautiful boy,I’m sorry for having to leave you but now I have to go, pls don’t forget our promise…” you said in a tired tone as now your eyes close. “I will my sweet girl, I’ll fulfill our dream even if I have to fulfill it with another girl, now rest my love I won’t forget you…” he said as he closes his eyes and cries silently as he hold you close
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dvasva · 1 year
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hey heres my advice to anyone who has adhd and is ever planning on having kids, as a person who was raised by a dad with adhd: i get that you hyperfocus, and you get really into your interests and nothing that doesnt interest you can hold your attention, but you know what sucks? being a kid, desperately trying to get their fathers attention only to have him check out after a minute listening to you describe the plot to the book youre reading, or having him interrupt you while you explain to him a project your doing to show you something that interests him instead or trying to have a normal conversation while his attention drifts off to something else, or desperately trying to learn everything you can about a thing you know hes interested in so he pays attention to you for just a little while only for his hyperfocus to shift away from that thing and have him bored instead.
like, i get it, i have autism, all of my siblings have adhd or autism, my mom has autism. sometimes people with adhd cant focus, its a whole thing. but if youre planning on having a kid and you dont plan on doing anything to make sure your behaviors dont fuck up your kid, either just dont have kids and spare them the pain, or get ready for them to feel like shit, like they will never be a priority in your life and never be good enough or interesting enough to interact with you.
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inkskinned · 10 months
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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lovesickeros · 5 months
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can.. can I ask for an affectionate reader with characters who aren’t normally like… used to the love? like, not just through words but physical affection like hand-holding, kisses, hugs, all that shebang. probably with a few people like yelan, ei, basically any character that is either cut-off from society or seems socially distant or isolated. 😞
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☆ affectionate reader with yelan, ei, & furina
[ 4.2 Archon Quest spoilers ]
× yelan
Varies between how you display your affection, to be honest. Just like being affectionate with people? She's cool with it as long as you don't pop by while she's working (mostly because she'll end up dragging you into it for a bit of fun). I don't think she's all that touchy feely herself, but she'll absolutely get you gifts instead– like pretty knick nacks? She'll make sure to snag any she thinks you might like. Like a good meal? Sure, she'll take you out to one of the restaurants in the city, doesn't matter how expensive. Her treat. If you do prefer physical gifts rather then being taken out, you'll eventually get used to the random unmarked letters and packages showing up where your staying pretty often. It's obvious to know who it came from even if she never signs anything.
Flirty reader, though? Whole nother can of worms and now it's a challenge. The more confident you are the more interested she is. The other acolytes would absolutely seethe at the idea but she has no hesitation at just straight up flirting back– she's as charismatic as they come and she's got a poker face that's basically impenetrable. She'll probably also make a bet to see who cracks first (she always wins, unsurprisingly). Probably won't get dragged into any of her schemes this way but if you ask politely maybe she'll consider it, anyway.
The smell of freshly brewed tea and the clatter of dice across wood was a common sight at the Yanshang Teahouse– less common was the woman secluded in the far corner, her lips pulled into a grin that flashed fangs and a look that would scare off the most confident of men.
She'd normally try to scope out any new blood that'd made the mistake of stepping into her teahouse and was equally stupid enough to accept a gamble against her just for the thrill of it, but she was far too absorbed in the warm body at her side, one of her die clasped tightly in their hand as she guided them through the motions– they had a knack for it, she had to admit. The thought made her preen, the clatter of the die as it rolled across the table giving her that subtle, familiar rush.
Even if she knew exactly where it'd land.
"Six. Hm, maybe you're just lucky," She muses, plucking the die from the table and holding it up to her eye like a prized jewel, "Or maybe you're not as innocent as you'd have us believe." There's a sharp glint in her eyes at the prospect, but everyone else has the sense to keep their heads down and their words to themselves as she tosses the die herself.
"So why don't we find out and make a bet, just between you and me?"
× ei
Varies between Ei and the Shogun, because you'll probably be seeing either as much as the other. Sometimes you gotta really squint to tell who it is sometimes, but you get used to it. Both are fairly similar, though, in that their first instinct (especially in public) is to tense up like you're about to attack them or something. Difference is Ei eventually relaxes after a solid minute of trying to process your sudden affection and, if no one else is around, she might even reciprocate. Just don't tease her for being a little stiff and awkward about it, she's trying. That's what happens when your only company is a robot and uh. Nothing. For like 500 years. She's trying. Raiden, on the other hand, is just about as awkward as you can imagine. She's polite (blunt) about it because Ei is fond of you and also you are. The Creator. But she's not really built to deal with personal relationships and so she doesn't know how to deal with affection.
..Depending on what you do you may or may not blue screen Ei hard enough that she retreats back to PoE
Ei usually isn't fond of sitting still, unless it's to meditate. At least then she goes in with a purpose, something to achieve– but now, she's just focused on trying not to make a fool of herself. Her muscles are starting to ache from how hard she's tensing, though, in an effort to sit as straight and still as possible as their hands glide through her hair, weaving it into a single braid.
She can just barely hear the subtle lilt of their voice as they hum– and though it is soothing, it is also..very distracting. She can't focus long enough to try and meditate, too lost in the gentle rise and fall of their voice and the care they take to braid her hair. If she'd had a heart, she'd sure it'd be beating so wildly against her ribcage they could hear it.
But then it stops– their hands fall back to their sides and their humming falters. She freezes, too, racking her brain for any slights she must have committed. Instead, she is met with a calm, tender touch on the back of her neck, making her inhale sharply.
"Am I making you uncomfortable, Ei? You're so tense.." She has to grit her teeth to stop herself from bowing so low her head presses against the ground, her hands folded in her lap, clenching instinctively. "..No, Divine One." She answers simply, trying to contain the adoration swelling in her chest.
Yet as much as she tries to relax, to ease their worries, she finds that she cannot.
"Hm." That small murmur, a simple sound that nearly made her jump, was the only warning she got before they scooted closer, wrapping their arms around her stomach and resting their chin on her shoulder with a grin she would liken to Miko's, if she dared to make such a comparison. "Really?"
She swears she must've been feverish at the affection, lightheaded and dazed until she thought she might simply perish at the brush of their hands against her own.
Much to her embarrassment, however, she doesn't realize she's instinctively pulled back into Plane of Euthymia until she sees the familiar dull purples engulf her vision once again.
Though only a small solace, it seemed a little..brighter, this time.
× furina
Varies between pre 4.2 and post 4.2 archon quests to be honest.
Pre 4.2 she comes off as very vain– of course the most Divine would see fit to spoil her with affection! She deserves it, and is obviously their favorite! Just don't look too hard because she's terrible at hiding how flustered she actually is. Absolutely goes home right after and screams into her pillow for at least thirty minutes minimum.
Post 4.2 she's a lot more openly bashful and flustered. She's really not used to affection and even the smallest show of it has her folding immediately. Now that she doesn't need to worry about being found out she's a lot more receptive to affection. Cup her cheeks and compliment her and her knees are buckling. Like. Especially weak for compliments and praise (she deserves it. please spoil her).
She swears she must be hallucinating– she had been having trouble sleeping recently. But..no. The visage of the Creator was as real as the sweat beading on her brow as she stared at them for a long, awkward moment. Should..she let them in? But then they'd see the pathetic state she was in, and the last thing she wanted to do was make a fool of herself in front of them-!
Her choice was quickly made for her, anyway, as she let out an undignified squeak of surprise when they suddenly tugged her forward into their chest, enclosing her in a hug.
Her first reaction was to freeze– her second was becoming absolutely flustered, her cheeks flushing a soft pink and her mouth closing and opening as she tried to find her words.
"I– ah..um." She stumbled over her words instead, floundering like a fish out of water. Yet she felt a distinct sense of emptiness wash over her when they finally pulled back, looking a touch sheepish. "Sorry, sorry– you just looked like you needed a hug."
The silence spoke for itself, her shoulders tensing slightly. But the way the concern and affection bled through their voice made her waver, her hands trembling as she let out a shaky breath that almost sounded like a sigh.
"It's..It's fine! Fine, I'm fine." She repeated, trying desperately to ignored the way her voice cracked and how hot her face felt– though it was more an attempt to affirm herself that she was not thinking about how warm they felt, how much she..actually enjoyed the hug. She wasn't thinking about it all! Absolutely not!
..Maybe a little.
"Just warn me next time, please?"
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yourlocaldragondealer · 10 months
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Do you ever just think about saphira? like she hatched out of her egg and immediatly had the responsibility of an entire world placed upon her shoulders and had to hide like half of the first book and after that, still a child, she had to fight and claw her way through life bc she was made a war hero before she even started pecking on her eggshell. her time in carvahall is a dusty memory. she needs to learn and train and learn more and train more and then fight and fight and fight. dragons are born for fighting. they are not born for war. do you ever think that maybe after they leave Alagaesia, shes flying over the talita the entire day but shes restless at night because shes so used to flying and clawing until her muscles burn and her tongue doesnt taste bloody enough and she wakes up because eragon is having a bad dream or a flashback and his fear is her fear. dragons dont get flashbacks, when they win they just carry on with more pride. but for a moment shes back on the battlefield and sees somebody wounding her rider and thinks hes going to die and she freaks out. and when she collects herself she feels ashamed because shes a dragon. shes wiser than that.
Like i feel like theres a whole part of her character that never got explored bc she was always so "wise" and collected and this really strong, emotionally unbreakable character (theres very few scenes she actually seems devastated and its when somebody dies). We always only see her comforting eragon but nobody comes out of war that unscathed, theres no way she isnt traumatized. but its never addressed - similar to how there are very few scenes with eragon openly struggling/being overwhelmed with the responsibility of having to save a kingdom and fight a war at sixteen. but that kid is so emotionally detached it actually kinda makes sense. Saphira is more aware of her emotions but she still never seems to struggle with a lot of internal conflict (except for being the last female dragon which i get but its only one of many topics that i feel like should have been addressed). we see her even kind of enjoying fighting and in a way i get it, dragons like hunting and have a lot of bloodlust and stuff but theres just no way eragons moral dilemmas never got to her. shes still a more than decent person and i wonder if she ever feels ashamed for her nature but knows she needs to be strong for eragon so she just doesnt tell him.
idk i just think it would be very interesting to know whats going on inside her head, since we only got to see it like once or twice.
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purpleneutrino · 27 days
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Uploading Chapter 5 of Because It's You tonight if all goes to plan!! 🙏
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fideidefenswhore · 1 year
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George Boleyn's real 'crime' was to be Anne Boleyn's brother and Princess Elizabeth's uncle. He was intelligent and spirited enough to mount a powerful defence of his sister. He was powerful enough to provide the focus for Boleyn followers and, especially, those who would assert Elizabeth's rights as heir to the crown.
Anne Boleyn (2011) / Wilkinson, Josephine
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ok i might be talking complete nonsense here, but. the Strict Order as a metaphor for an author facing writer's block.
"the Strict Order abandoned the world," yeah if i wrote a sweet potato story where the main character just keeps suffering with no sign of resolution, i'd drop the story too (<- has actually done this with a tesilid fanfic orz)
"The world rejected the Strict Order's abandonment, so to keep the world going the Strict Order made Tesilid keep rewinding time." That's just like when you get stuck at a certain point in the plot and keep rewriting the events leading up to that moment to try to make it work. nods sagely i understand. i too make my OCs go through scenarios lots of times until we get it right. sometimes it takes months. sometimes it never works.
"The saintess only exists in timeline ~86," oh yes, the classic 'idk how to solve this problem so i'll introduce a new character' trick. i'm familiar
"okay but if time looping is the Strict Order rewriting the story, then why can Tesilid remember it" because the author already wrote those scenes and it'll be sad to throw them all out. and also it's a cool gimmick to have a regressor story. (<- has drastically changed the premise and worldbuilding of a story just to make an alternate timeline relevant before)
"what about ailette's existence--" same as muriel, where you insert a new character in hopes of solving a plot problem. except this time the characters write the plot themselves, because just this once you give priority to their character traits & goals rather than where you thought you wanted the plot to go. (tesilid has someone he can be himself around and who can do certain things on his behalf, instead of being fully constrained by his obligations. ailette gets insane buffs instead of being restricted by the world's difficulty.) therefore the chars now have more agency and are not only solving problems, but also taking the story in a direction you never would have thought of before. (whatever the hell tesilid and ailette are cooking rn, separately, which is surely going to result in interesting developments later on)
tldr; the strict order as a metaphor for an author who hit writer's block. their friend World Shaper inserts their OC Ailette in and their writing style is to let the characters run away with the plot. it works. world shaper and all their friends are co-writers working on the story together and reacting to it in real time.
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beautifel · 6 months
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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
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autistic-katara · 19 days
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writing would fix me
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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#yet again i fail to convince my counselor i have executive function problems. mostly its bc i dont think well in the moment but also i just#feel kinda weird rn so i was having trouble making my thoughts connect. but i swear to christ i do have problems making my executives#function. i think the issue is im a grad student so i do well in school. not that it matters bc i kno loads of grad students with pretty#god awful adhd. one of my former lab mates was like. Adderall barely made her normal. and yet she was still a phd student#so like. its possible to have executive function issues as a grad student. the problem with me is the obsessive thoughts and self#destructive behavior so to her it sounds like im telling myself that i cant get my brain to work unless i put myself under extreme pressure#rather than i cant get my brain to work so to cope im putting myself under extreme pressure bc if i dont nothing gets done#but like fucking if i try to relax i dont do things. i cant clean my kitchen or my room or take out the trash or do my laundry#and im not like not doing it bc i dont wanna. these things r causing me active distress but i cant flip the switch that makes them happen#ive gotta write a grant proposal. read a paper. and find a paper to discuss by tomorrow morning. i had time to do all of this before but i#didnt do it. y didnt i do it? fucking i dont kno. ugh. whatever. i got refered to a psychiatrist so well see what happens there#i did accidentally set the meeting to when i meet with my advisor tho. oops. also my counselor said it sounds like im a rat running on a#wheel. which is accurate but also a really fucking funny thing to have said abt u. ur r a scrawny neglected lil rat. boohoo.#idk what type of medication she thinks i should b on. like what symptom r we trying to exhaust? the 0cd or the mood issues?#i dont even kno what the issue is. not that i guess it matters. idk. i need to read and write. fucking hell#unrelated
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toxictranny · 6 months
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discovering that i can’t read the room i just thought i could because i had my glasses on
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aroaessidhe · 1 year
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2023 reads // twitter thread  
Ace of Hearts
short contemporary romance
after a career-ending sports injury causes Felix to lose his scholarship, he marries his best friend for free tuition at the college where she works
they realise they have feelings for each other and their marriage could become real, but are threatened by her abusive father
sex-repulsed ace MC
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