#i think it’s bc i don’t feel like i need to try as hard to sound like i know what im talking about

[lxnarphase]

GOOD MORNING, BABY ๋࣭ ⭑

☾₊‧⁺...ft. : g. satoru + g. suguru + n. kento + f. toji + k. choso + t. fumihiko

☾₊‧⁺...cw : somnophilia (pre-agreed on), thigh fucking, penetrative sex, pre-established relationship, dirty talk, praise and degradation, mommy kink, breeding kink, satoru and toji are just filthy, choso is so cute and needy, kento is the sweetest husband, it's just really fucking dirty im not sorry

☾₊‧⁺...synopsis : which jjk characters would fuck your thighs while you're sleeping bc they're horny but don't wanna wake you up !!

who does it to tease you ↴

✧ g. satoru ; satoru tries to wake you up, but you just don't want to. and by try, he means he blew into your ear just for you to huff and smack him away, grumbling to let you sleep or you'd bite him. ohh, you are so cute, he just really can't help himself

“look at my pretty girl, such a mess…tsk, wish she'd wake up, now i gotta fuck her soft, pretty thighs instead of that pretty lil' pussy." “aww, your pussy 's so noisy! listen t' her...she's all wet, she's cryin' f'me to fuck her, isn't she? aww, poor thing...” “ooh, are you cumming, baby? cumming in your sleep like a slutty little girl while I fuck your thighs, so precious…”

✧ g. suguru ; suguru's hands move up and down your soft curves while he grinds against your thighs, quiet, sticky noises sounding in the room. you're so adorable, he wants to shake you awake but teasing you with his thick cock nudging against your clit is so much more fun

“you’ve always been so responsive, i didn’t think my dick between your thighs would get you like this, princess.” “oh? was that my name? don’t tell me you’re having a wet dream about me. so dirty, baby, thinking of me like that while sleeping when I’m right here with you.” “don’t you wanna wake up and move my cock somewhere other than your thighs? c'mon, princess, wake up for me.”

who does it because they are desperate ↴

✧ k. choso ; not outright fucking you is painful, but he doesn’t want to wake you up. He’s so fucking hard, that dream affected him more than he thought, and before he knew it, he was fucking your thighs, not caring how loud he was being.

“baby, baby, fuck, hoohmygodd, please! need y'so bad, so fuckin' soft, so soft, fuck, could d' this to you all the time, never wanna stop, p-please, god, 'm gonna cum all over you-!” “sticky fuckin' p-pussy's beggin' me t' fuck it, b-but wanna see you look at me. c'mon, c-c'monnn, please wake up, let me stick it in, o-or 'm gonna waste it a-and cum all over your cunt.” “oh, mmh, ’m cumming, ’m cumming, baby, i-i’ll clean y' up after, g'nna fuck you again 'n' again 'n' againnn, fuck, ’m cumming-!”

✧ t. fumihiko ; poor thing, fumihiko honestly tries to deal with it by himself, trying to just jerk off in the bathroom, but it doesn't work. he knew what he needed, he needed you, needed to touch and feel you around him. with shaky hands holding your thighs, he slides his aching cock between your thighs, moaning so cutely…and when you wake up and start cooing to him, he absolutely loses himself.

“i’m-i’m gonna mess you up so bad, been wantin’ to leave you a mess for so long, so fucking long, 'm g-gonna cum all over your pretty thighs. 's okay, right? right? mmh, okay, 'm gonna do it, 'm gonna cum on 'em.” “y-yeah, yeah, fuck, your thighs are so soft, feel so good around my cock, gonna cum all over them, m-ma'am.” “'s so much cum, i can’t stop cumming, m-mommy, ’m losing my mind, love your thighs, they're so soft, s' soft, thank you, thank you, thank you-!”

who wakes you up ↴

✧ f. toji ; it’s not uncommon for toji to wake up in the middle of the night, cock hard in his sweats. can you blame the guy when he's sleeping next to the sexiest woman he's ever laid his eyes on. he thanks whatever god there is for giving him a wife like you who lets him fuck your soft thighs until you wake up up so he can stuff you full of cum instead of wasting it on your stomach.

“’s time to wake up, mama, don’ ya wan' me t' fuck your needy cunt 'stead of these pretty thighs?” “aw, y'look soooo cute and dumb right now…my pretty thing. c'mon, spread those legs for me, mama, toji's gonna take care of ya.” “did y' dream 'bout me fucking your thighs? yeah? mm, you’re takin' my cock like you wanted me t' fuck you awake…hm? you want that next time? mm, i’ll keep it in mind, baby girl, now shut up and let me fuck you dumb.”

✧ n. kento ; he usually only does this when he’s very very frustrated from working, coming home to see his pretty baby in one of his button-ups sleeping, thighs out in the open. he can’t help himself, softly calling your name as he slides his hard cock slowly in and out between your thighs, giving you soft smile when you wake up.

“sorry to wake you, darling, I know it’s late, but I need you. you just...look so beautiful, i couldn't help himself.” “you were responding so cutely in your sleep…would you rather I be inside you? ask nicely, honey, and I’ll give you what you want. you know a good husband does whatever his wife asks.” “so, so pretty like this, i could fuck you for days. should i do that, my sweet girl? mm, maybe i should take tomorrow off and keep you in bed all take, make sure that my seed takes. what do you think, sweetheart, you want me to give you a baby?”

all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work

#gojo satoru smut #geto suguru smut #choso smut #kamo choso smut #toji fushiguro smut #toji smut #nanami kento smut #nanami smut #nanami x you #nanami kento x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk x you #takaba fumihiko smut #takaba fumihiko x reader #takaba x reader #erm !! what the scallop !! #𖤐 ── lxnarworks.

[artinvain]

Sevika takes care of you bc you’re working too hard 🥹 + squirting

‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙ you’d been working like a mad man. every day was 12 to 14 hours of work. it was safe for sevika to say you were a worse workaholic than she was and this week was particularly rough. “honey, come to bed,” you whine as sevika starts to massage your shoulders. they’d risen to your cheeks while your eyes trained on the video you edited, trying to get the perfect L cut but the sound refused to sync.

“jesus fuck! are you serious ?” you near yell when your machine starts to buffer and then shuts down. “I’m about to scream or cry,” you bite your lip, your face in your hands, wondering whether your work has saved while sev was thinking about other ways she could make you scream and cry.

“okay, that’s enough for today yeah? even the computer’s tired, come on honey. It’s time for a break,” sev cooes gently into your ear, easing you up from your chair with encouragement and rubbing your lower back. “s’okay baby, we’ll sort it out tomorrow,” she reassures you as you press your forehead against her chest. “I’m just so tired,” you relent, letting her arms engulf you, her fingers scratching your scalp.

“I know honey, that’s why you need a break,” sevika kisses your forehead, “let me take care of you yeah?” you finally nod and let sevika lead you to the bathroom where she had a hot bath waiting for you. “I’m so glad we invested in this stupid, giant tub” you moan as you sink into the hot water, sevika behind you. her hands immediately massaging your body, the soapy water glittered with essential oils relaxing you. you sigh, leaning back against sev, and letting her caress your body, until her hands and massaging your breasts. your breath hitches as she gently tugs your nipples, you turn your face into her neck and press firm kisses there as she plays with your tits.

“that’s it baby just relax for me,” she says so sweetly your body complies, melting into her as her fingers trail down your stomach, warm rough fingers circling your clit softly until you’re whining. “that feel good honey?” you girlfriend asks as she lets her fingers play with your clit, your back arching “yes sev, so good baby,” you sigh, your hand coming to rest of her wrist. you hadn’t realised how pent up you were, how much you’d neglected the bedroom and sevika recently.

“m’sorry I’ve been so busy babe,” you whine as her fingers dip down to your hole, “should be taking care of you,” you stutter as her thick finger fills you and curls. “nuh-uh, how many late night have I had?” she asks rhetorically. “you work hard and I’m proud of you,” she sighs against your temple, starting to fuck you slow. your head falls back on Sev’s shoulder, her cool arm holding your tits, playing with your nipples.

sev works you at a rhythm that has your hips bucking, riding her fingers as they fuck you deep and soft, “fuck, another, please another finger sev,” your girlfriend groans, “so perfect, asking for what you need,” she groans, feeling your pussy stretch around her fingers, pulling her in. the wetness of your walls the feeling of them soft against her makes her mouth salivate. she brings her bionic fingers to rest heavy on your clit, rubbing soft while her fingers hasten in pace. “so precious sweetpea,” sev smiles against your temple as you arch your back, “let me take good care of ya,”

she sets you off, the constant rubbing on your gspot and your clit. your legs are shaking and she has to carry you out of the bath. she dries you both off, kissing every bit of exposed skin as she does so. then lays on you the bed, rubbing her hands in coconut oil she presses them into your back. massaging out every kink and knot she can find, you don’t notice her wicked smirk as she slips your bulbous vibrator into you, making you whimper. you cannot move as sev sits on your ass, moaning quietly as she humps you, her hands still rubbing and massaging your back. your clit bumping the mattress as you feel her wetness spread against your ass. fuck you could lie like this with her forever.

you squeak at the pressure and sevika massages your shoulders, squeezes and pulls her hands down to your hips, leaning over you to kiss your face. “you’re fucking perfect you know that?” sev asks as she tightens her grip on your hips, grinding so you both feel that delicious pressure on your clits and the vibrator presses against your gspot. “love you so much,” she whines, kissing and licking your earlobe. grinding until you’re both huffing and sighing, Sev’s wetness making a mess on you, “and you’re so fuckin’ soft sweet pea,” she moans feeling her clit rub over your oiled ass and fuck when you turn your head more to capture her mouth, bite her lip as her brows furrow — she cums embarrassingly fast, gasping and groaning, her hips falter against your soft, plush ass.

sevika turns you over getting her legs over her torso and shoulders as she kisses down from your mouth so your wet lips, kisses your clit so sweetly. slowly licking and lapping in contrast to how she turns the vibrator up. “fuck, sev!” you have to grab for her hands, intertwining them as she laps and suckles at your clit, shaking her head from side to side. eating you as though she were ravenous. she releases one of your hands, guiding it to her hair and using her free hand to rub over your clit, watching your pussy clench around the vibe and your back arches as her fingers rub and swipe across your clit.

“so pretty under me, so fucking — god you make me so wet,” she groans, feeling her lips swollen and sticky as she licks over your whole pussy. sevika pulls at the vibrator, pushing it in the out against your gspot, sucking at your clit, her head bobbing with the movement of the vibe. sevika moans around your clit and it has you cumming, grinding up against your face your broken moans riling her up.

“god you’re so good to me, look at this pretty leaky cunt,” she moans, pulling the vibrator from you and lapping at your wet hole, sliding her fingers in in its place and curling them, holding them against your gspot, rubbing and grazing as she presses down on your belly. “oh god sev!” you’re squirming, “trying” to push her away, the pleasure overwhelming, “take it honey, want you to feel good for me,” sev groans when you clench down around her, “that’s it just take it,” her thrusts shallow and deep “feel so good pea, slippery pussys’ just pulling me in,”

you can feel her fingers grazing every part inside of you, she’s sucking on your clit and pulling off with a pop as you pant, your chest tightening. “sev, please please m’close,” you whine and sevika slows her pace slightly. grinding soft just barely grazing you until you’re trying to fuck yourself on her face and fingers. “okay baby cum for me yeah, want you to feel really good and make a mess on my face,”

sev moans, licking your clit and suckling again, her fingers curling and fucking you deep and hard her pace never faltering until you’re pent up, your body tensing with immense pleasure and warming as you spurt into her mouth. sevika whimpers as she tastes you, licking and swallowing and swiping her face back and forth across your cunt until her face is dewy with your mess.

Tags @archangeldyke-all @sexysapphicshopowner @sevsbaby @iamaboringrattat @sapphicsgirl @bimboprincezz

#sevika x you #sevika x reader #sevika x reader smut #sevika arcane smut #sevika arcane #lesbian #lesbian smut #sevika smut #Sevika arcane x reader smut #sevika x you smut

[t00thpasteface]

I’m doing a MASH rewatch because I’m mentally well, and I am a Hawcahy lover like all good red blooded Americans, but I was curious if you had any thoughts or opinions on Klinger / Mulcahy? Even from Klinger’s second appearance with the grenade scene I found myself watching for their shared scenes, though it’s clearly significantly less popular if AO3 tags are to be believed.

You can also use this to discuss the various Hawkeye ships (of which there are rightfully many) and any other MASH pairings you enjoy or maybe don’t partake in! I’m always here for more MASH content

they are VERY GOOD AND I LIKE THEM. klinger is a LOT of fun and there's definitely some kind of weird circuitous Recognition Through The Other i get with him as a butch lesbian. my whole life i've always felt like i'm some ugly bony man in drag whenever i dress girly so i feel really vaildated seeing how klinger fucking slayyyyyys in whatever he wears and has a blast wearing it. so naturally anything that makes klinger happy makes me happy!!! 🫡

i think i said it before a loonnnng time ago though but i'm just not really much of a multishipper! never have been... idk what it is but once a ship takes root in my brain i don't really multiship any of the people in it. there are very few exceptions to this. i have NO idea why i'm like this but i'm just Very Particular.

and hawkahy just fucking SEIZED me somehow so it got first dibs. my first exposure to mash was catching some season 7 episodes on retro tv, so when i happened to see hawkeye freaking out in a cave and mulcahy volunteering to be helicopter ballast back-to-back, i latched onto mulcahy first like "omg look at that little guy he's trying so hard" and then secondarily looked at hawkeye like "omg it's a womanizing sleazeball with a heart of gold i love those exact guys!!" and my go-to method of shipping is My Favorite x My Second Favorite, sooo that's how the cookie crumbled... :P

also basically as soon as i told my mom i was watching mash she was like “we need to watch the movie!!” and i was weirdly compelled by hawkeye and mulcahy teaming up to save painless??? mulcahy gets shoved out of the frame by the others when he's introduced but seeks out hawkeye later like hey you're the only one i trust to help me... and then it colored how i watched the show afterwards. i was like hang on. really interesting to see where these freaks can find a common ground between them in their respective approaches to pacifism and sacrifice. also my mom ships them. lulz

i also think traphawk and beejhawk are fun too BUT as a lesbian who does a lot of weird gay shit with her 2 straight roommates (one of whom has a bf) because THEY started it, i also find it VERY funny to just interpret hawkeye and trapper/bj with that angle of out-and-proud queer doing weird gay shit with his arguably straight (or latently bicurious) roommates as a form of entertainment/bonding/hazing. bc it's like [leonardo dicaprio pointing.jpeg] like we call each other pookie and slap each other on the ass so whatever hawkeye is doing to those men is just Normal to me

#i feel like a maniac trying to explain my thought process for how i ship stuff. sorry for the FUCKING ESSAY i have Thotz #shebbz shoutz #mash #ask

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hello ari i am gently bonking your head with mine hehehe this is how we exchange ideas ok..... now that i've heard abt arisugu n arigojo first meetings.... i do need to know abt arikenny's first interaction now!!!!! and and and.... is.... is arishoko also a thing.... bc i think she would absolutely love you too like holy fuck you guys would work so well i feel like!!!!!!!!!!! why'd i immediately think of a first meeting that's like a little clumsy and cute?? like smth along the lines of you just bumping into her in like a coffee shop???? and you'd apologize over the shoulder and then she's just staring at you with that little devious smile of hers???? hehehe idk i feel like this could be canon ok anyway ily don't stay up too late my love!!!! mwah<3 - @teddybeartoji

HELLO MICKEY :33 this is us rn

okay so !!! i thought a Lot abt this one….. arishoko n arikenny are definitely the ones that r the least. Clear. in my mind. bUT i love them very dearly so!!!! we’ll see if i can make this cohesive 😭

FIRST OF ALLLL arishoko :33 it’s very very much a Thing honestly i think that. realistically. out of all four options shoko is the one i’d get together w irl… she’s just very much my type n i think i could charm her w my silly ways !!!!! but yes …..

OKAY SO I THINK. that. you’re absolutely right….. it’s a lot more soft n sweet than some of the other ones 😭 THE CAFE IDEA IS SOOOO CUTE cafe dates would be our standard for sure…… BUT I FEEL LIKE. we would meet. at a Bar. i don’t drink so i’d probably just be there accompanying a friend and i’m hating every second of it bc :// there r ppl around :/// the music is kinda loud and the lighting hurts my eyes :////// i’m just suffering and trying to read my lil book while my friends are dancing in the corner and ohhhh would you look at that…… a pretty girl is sitting rlly close to me…………. and i’m trying to subtly stare at her bc i’m enamored and. i think. she catches me in the act and i get flusteredPBDKDBDJD you get the vibes. i’m normal abt her.

so she strikes up a conversation …….. for SURE teases me abt coming to a bar just to read my gay little book and order sweet non-alcoholic drinks smh (may or may not make a throwaway comment abt how she has a friend who’s just like that… i’m forever thinking abt her calling gojo a big kid in one of the light novels bc she had to find a bar that sells non-alcoholic drinks for him LMAOO)…. and i am just. a little smitten. this is 100% an ari falls first kind of scenario i can’t resist the allure of a super pretty mysterious woman !!! :((((( and then i think she recommends a bar . that’s a lot more chill. that she likes. and she kinda just coaxes me into dating her i think 😭😭 i doooo see it as a slowburn but not nearly as much as the others shoko has me wrapped around her finger 💔💔

OH ANDDDD i should mention that i thought more abt the Lore both for arishoko and arigojo and!!!! i think that i’d probably be a non-sorcerer in both…. bc i think satoshoko in particular would rlly benefit from that ?? likeee shoko just meets someone outside of the school / jujutsu society and it’s just. a kind of normalcy that she doesn’t usually have!!! one that she finds rlly precious!!!! :((( and it’s the same w gojo but even worse bc i think he Craves normalcy. shoko already has canonical ties to non-sorcerers but gojo is kinda stuck in the jujutsu world so :’3 i feel like he’d meet a rando and just. fall for them very hard. they don’t know who he is, they don’t know he’s the strongest. to them he’s just. a Guy. and i think he loves that a lot. i’m just their Just Some Guy <333333 i think they’d both be reallyyyy adamant on Not getting me involved in their world at all. gojo introduces me to the students and shoko (begrudingly) introduces me to gojo when he crashes our date (😔) but it’s like. they’re protective … yk ……

…… this is already rlly long T—T BUT THE TRAIN NEVER STOPS i need to let it run its course…….

with that being said !!!! arikenny. the Forbidden selfship. the deranged version of arisugu. where do i even begin w this man….

honestly . this one is… yeah . i imagine it as an established relationship (<- very vaguely) bc it’s hard to picture Anyone capturing kenny’s attention w/o being reallyyyyy special 😭😭 which is why i have less thoughts on the Lore and more on the dynamic itself!!! but ummmm . i can picture us meeting in a coffee shop…. there’s this old wip i have where reader spots him sitting in a corner and eventually they start talking. abt the books they’re reading. nothing much just kenny picking their brain a little and yapping just to yap….. so i could picture it being kinda like that!! maybe i capture his attention somehow? 😭 it only really makes sense if i happen to be beneficial to his plan or something…? BUUT again i’m not super interested in the lore for this one!!!! so i’ll just talk a lil abt the dynamic hehe.

i just think. kenny is a freak. i’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure him out when it comes to x reader stuff bc i think his love is very unorthodox 😭 he’s just so detached yk?? buuut i think he can be very silly and affectionate in his own way :3 i fear he’s a Mother and a Father in one. in the worst of ways…. i could only picture him being in an Actual relationship w someone he views as his equal, but i don’t know if . that could ever apply to me LMAO. so if anything i think it’s similar to moji in that….. he just. finds a puppy in the pouring rain and brings it home. bc it’s kinda silly and good company. so maybe he does see me a little like. a Pet. kind of . I DOOO WANT TO SAY HE CARES FOR ME BUT. yk… he really wasn’t built for selfshipping. he’s a weirdo!! but i think it’s love at first sight for me…. i’m weak for milfs i fear 💔💔 and i think he does develop some kind of soft spot eventually :3 we’re. roommates. roommates who play board games and sleep in each others’ lap. roommates who kiss. i’d like to kiss his brain. WHO SAID THAT…

ok that was a big big ramble but !!!!! standard arimickey interaction let’s be real. it’s funny bc arishoko is so grounded somehow and arikenny is 💀💀 the way it is. i guess it’s sort of like a god/devout believer pairing … but without. the religious aspect. i think there’s very much a power dynamic involved this bitch is ANCIENT….. anyway that’s all tysm for reading my lovely sunflower baby <33333 i hope !! you’re having a nice day!!! ilyvm!!!!

#i saw. you make a post abt the movie i think 👀 so im assuming it was super duper good #IM VERY HAPPY FOR U <3333 i checked and theyre showing it at my cinema rn!!! will def check it out when i get the chance :3 #ty for indulging my silly little selfships <3 arikenny does make me very insane even though it’s. the weirdest one.. #ive said it before and ill say it again!!! single moms r allowed to do whatever. if she asks me to bark i will i’m loyal ‼️‼️ #(if u listen closely u can hear my sanity slipping away) #ily soooo much <33333 sending you my coziest fluffiest vibes :3 #ask tag ✩ #mickey !! ✩

[burinazar]

:( patheticposting

nearly literally reduced to tears rn by how overwhelmingly it feels like nobody cares what I make or like or think about and how meaningless any of my creativity and love and effort is

[pepprs]

not to p*riod post but like. it came so late last month and it’s even later this month probably both due to stress (lol) and i mean i never “hope” i will get it ever but i was hoping id get it during the fall break so it wouldn’t mess up any of the things i need to do this week and i think there’s like a 90% chance im gonna get it tomorrow which is a jam packed day during which im supposed to give a campus tour to a prominent vice president an hour after getting to the office so. lol

#purrs #i don’t want to call it when i don’t even have cramps yet but if i wake up in agony im probably going to work from home. im trying this new #thing where i don’t push myself to do the usual thing if im in agony and i know there’s stuff that needs to get done but it won’t get done #well if im not well first so. yeah. i feel so bad like the tour is at 10 and im probably gonna… idk. i shouldn’t say im going to do when i #don’t know for certain yet but it’s not looking good. also i am kinda worried abt why suddenly it’s getting later and later like ive been #thru much worse stuff than what’s happening currently and it came maybe like 2 days late at most but im getting to the point where it’s #around a week late now and ummmmm. i don’t think that is normal 😃 but i am trying not to think about it that hard bc nothing else is ‘wrong #that i can tell it’s just it’s late. idk. im dreading it so much i always dread it it’s so so painful and i hate knowing im about to #experience such severe pain i cant function for like 24-36 hrs 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 #delete later #probably gonna have to cancel the tour which will make me look like a flake but. 😐

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

.

How to explain that going to church makes me hurt and angry, but not going to church makes me sad and depressed.

#I need to go to Mass. I need to get over the anxiety mental block and just go. #blue chatter #it’s just. I’ve only gone a couple times this semester and every time has left me feeling more empty and hurt than when I walked in #and I know Mass is more than just how you feel. and that it matters that I am there where God calls me to be #I know. #I wish nobody there knew me so they wouldn’t be so worried and ask questions about where I’ve been #it’s like. I cannot possibly explain to my church friends why I haven’t been showing up. #it’s not even scrupulosity anymore it’s just. I can’t be here. I don’t belong here. #and the new priest is trying *so hard*. I’ve been honest with him about how I’m struggling. #but it’s just. there’s something missing. he wants to include the congregation but fundamentally doesn’t understand what that means. #‘everyone is welcome. No I will not make an effort to include marginalized people. they’re welcome bc they can Walk In The Door.’ #and I know it’s not that the church has changed #if anything I’d be having the same issues with the old priest. I’m the one who’s changed. #but instead of spending my Sundays with God I’m just. melting into a puddle of Sad. and that’s not good for my faith life. #I need to do *something*. I just. any time I think of trying a new church i feel exhausted. #God please help me. #I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want to be alone and miserable and losing touch with my faith

[j-esbian]

see the problem with all of the puzzles in bg3 is like. sometimes the player (me) is stupid. and at least in a real dnd game you might get the dm to take pity on you

#the number of ‘’walkthroughs’’ that i’ve found that don’t actually. help #they tell you the map coordinates or whatever. what about if i cannot physically find what you’re talking about AT THOSE COORDINATES #or cannot figure out how to get to those coordinates (like when i spent three days trying to find karlach) #i’m in hell. actually still having a very hard time getting invested and like. not rly enjoying this game lmao #I AM PLAYING ON EXPLORER MODE AND SOMEONE GOES DOWN IN ALMOST EVERY COMBAT #also just. open world syndrome a little bit #too many quests that apparently i can’t actually move forward in yet. and too much open space #making me feel like. i need to go explore and grind when i just want to finish the quests i already have good lord #idrc about exploring every corner of the map. at this point??? #tried going into the mountain pass and it was like ‘hey you’re really low level. reconsider <3’ and im like #literally WHAT is there to do for me here #(it wanted me to go to the underdark. which i figured would progress the story so i was trying to find lae’zel’s crèche while we’re here??) #also on a non gameplay note #inSANE that all of the questlog items for daughter of darkness list her and i having interactions that We Did Not #got to act 2 and she’s like ‘hey i worship shar btw. this is supposed to be a reveal’ but like. the quest log told me that immediately?? #was i not supposed to read that?? she never told me that she wanted to join the justiciars. i never gave her the idol. #but it said all of those happened??? #maybe i’m biased bc my first save was trying to play as her but it REALLY feels like they’re pushing her to be the main character #like. kinda sucks how she’s the only companion you can check in with and say ‘how do you think we’re doing’ #and these fucking controls #why are the items hit boxes so weird. my cursor is a centimeter away and yet it still highlights something #the label isn’t actually next to the thing it’s describing so holding the alt key does nothing to show me where it is #god forbid you try to point at something through an open door #the fucking. camera angles. impossible to see what i’m doing or where i’m going because the trees and walls and shit keep getting in the way #straight up not having a good time #but this was a lot of money and i’ve heard it picks up #when tho #also the fact that i rly like wyll and he’s got like. nothing. id heard he has less content than other origins but #didn’t realize it was to a noticeable extent #maybe it’ll pick up and give him more to talk about once i save his dad. please god

[werebutch]

I’ve tried to have that conversation multiple times and it always ends up like this by the way

#I hate using this as a journal but obviously I don’t feel like writing right now. and also I like to know I’m not fucking crazy #I’m not asking for that much I don’t think. I just need help. I cant do everything I can’t be everywhere but I try so hard. I know this info #is skewed bc it’s from my pov. for all u guys know I could be the complete opposite. I try to be aware of myself. I truly don’t know why its #like this. I am so tired of this

[happy10thousandyears]

Con thoughts

#honestly I really appreciate the creator of my ex fandom trying to give me job opportunities but I think if I have to work in my ex fandom #the creator is really chill and awesome but #as an official artist I’ll try to overdose to die everyday #or at least if I don’t normalize before then #I need to normalize #I mean it’s not even like im currently being traumatized I just spiral #everything I interact with anything outside of my immediate interest circle #because everyone are like so lobotomized in there like I feel im a person among zombies #like how can you just be on a comedy show and have people laugh by just referencing stuff #I don’t get their humor their lack of appreciation for creative effort and their general mental attitude #they are so averse to engaging with anything that aren’t in your face with garish gaudy colors #it’s an ugly franchise and an artless thoughtless fandom #I feel like the opening scene of shizuku where im just siting among people who im utterly alienated to #thinking about the end of the world #I know I sound really whiny to my friends bc I was telling them about stuff but #also it's not like it's hard on me or anything I spiral kinda daily unprompted already it's just . wow it's not in my head only anymore #the insanity is irl.. it's just more surreal to have the zombies I would despise irl around me #it’s kinda despairing that what I like and who I am are utterly incompatible with the #hundreds of people surrounding me during the 3 days of this con #it's like the online fandom but real and more massive #I do kinda sound ungrateful that I'm going to a con and meeting the creator of my fave series is like . rare but also #MAN kinda a bummer I wish my fave character's VA is there so I can gouge his eyes out (joke) AHEM have a Polite conversation with him #because he played the character in the way I loathed (hammy) like I would ASK him to read the books the character is in .or I start gouging #but I am also having fun??? #a white man mansplained my fave to me (who was wearing whole ass ita bag of my fave) bc he though he know more about him than me bc he read #the character's wiki entry . I love it it's surreal I feel like an older god . I can smite this man yet he yaps on unknowingly #I've drawn 2k+ fanart of this obscure deeplore character you've read on the wiki mr tenth doctor cosplayer white man #I can cast u into hellfire .. ? Mr white American man ..

[danothan]

i keep wondering why my schedule has been so wonky lately as if i didn’t quite literally get into a car crash less than a week ago

#danbles #car accident mention #hello from 5 in the morning #we’re fine everyone’s fine the other person’s insurance is allegedly going to pay for it #but i think it was my first real look at death so i’m still trying to process it #weird guilt feelings for smth that wasn’t even my fault #grief is a weird thing to process i’ve found out! #i’m not used to being angry yet it keeps coming back #it’s very hard for me to care abt things rn #but ik it’s just one of those things i have to ride out. i’ve certainly been thru worse #and the fact that i can confide in my interests is a good sign that i still care at all. and i will care again #i’m rly lucky that i’ve had my sibling to talk to abt this but that’s also bc they were there #and got it worse than me! nothing hospitalizing thank god but we’re still healing #anyway i don’t need sympathy. talking abt this with anyone other than my sib has been rly irritating (is currently in an irritable state) #but i think i just wanted to let ppl know that i’m going thru smth. idk how that helps but it does #i think i just cant reconcile with the idea that i couldve lost someone i care deeply abt and everyone else is just moving on #ah fuck that’s what it is. im angry abt how insignificant a lifechanging event actually is #i don’t want anyone to care but i do think i need someone to know that it’s not normal rn #like i just need to throw it out there into the void that smth Has happened #and then i can go back to a new normal #alright it’s 5:30am now i think i should go to bed fr #also this got rly heavy but i dont wanna freak my friends out. like i’m okay and i’ll be okay #each day has gotten easier so far #and it doesn’t mean i’ve been pretending to be happy #it’s a rly weird duality idk how to explain #like apprently i was laughing a lot during the actual crash! emotions are weird man idk! #christ it’s almost 6 now OKAY GN FR peace and love everyone #normal is right around the corner 👍

[non-un-topo]

Why does instagram keep giving me videos about grandparents like does it want me to fall on the floor sobbing today

#they're all gone! none left now #idk what happened this week but i've been trying SO hard not to think about my nana at all #it’s just a constant don't think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it #i did have a really violent nightmare about her the other night. that fucked me up... #maybe it's because i talked to my mom and she mentioned her for a minute. neither of us know how to talk about it. #i literally can't even think about it i'll start crying. #should visit my partner's nonna and nonno... but i will cry. still we need to see nonno because he's very unwell. #i can't fucking believe i found out my nana died and then immediately went to class. #mentioned it to my professor and the whole class gasped and asked if i was okay or if i needed to leave. #but if i didn't go to class then i would have just been home alone... #crying in front of my favourite prof a few days later was... yikes. but it was okay. she felt like a grandma to all of us #she was sincerely sorry. esp because that class was called 'women and aging' #she spend the entire year telling us to ask the older women in our families their stories #and now i have none left. didn’t get to ask. #i don't know why i didn't call when i wanted to #i can't think about it #glad my mom told me that she feels totally disconnected to family too. bc lately ive felt very alone. #like my nana getting sick and dying brought them together but only for a short while. #feels like we have no extended family and it's fucking me up a lot. im just glad im not the only one

[mars-ipan]

so fucking annoying having a “common” disorder sometimes i’m sick of being fucking dismissed

#marzivents #<- preemptive bc i’m bitter abt it #i made a joke abt trying to get every accomodation for my anxiety that i can #and my own mother. who HAS THE SAME FUCKING ILLNESS. compared me to fucking eric cartman???? #for making a silly about my mental illness? and saying ‘i have anxiety so u need to be nice to me’ for a LAUGH???? #like 1- i’m not fucking lying when i say i need extra help for my anxiety shit #and 2- do not compare me to a fucking south park character because he faked an anxiety disorder for a couple of episodes #like fuck you. what the fuck is wrong with you #‘half the world has anxiety marley’ 1- not true like statistically 2- while anxiety is relatively common that doesn’t mean i don’t need #extra help because of it???? hello????? what the shit #and EVERY time i try to say something about how it makes me feel she pulls the experience card and patronizes me!!! #i get it i’m 18 i don’t know everything. but i fucking know myself!!! #sometimes i just feel like my family thinks i’m looking for excuses to feel bad. which is so FRUSTRATING #because EVERY DAY of my life i am trying to improve and make my mindset healthier and work hard to be the best happiest me i can be #it’s just that sometimes doing my best is feeding myself and brushing my teeth #it bugs me so much coming from her because i know she has it too #like. i know you had to spend the first 30 years of your life denying your mental health to get out of hell #but i don’t. your whole goal in life was to make sure that your kids didn’t have to do that to succeed #so when i tell you i’m struggling or dare to crack a fucking joke about it once in awhile #why is it that suddenly i’m the bad guy or trying to make myself a victim #can i just need fucking help??? in peace??? does it have to be a whole fucking thing #like sorry do i not deserve it? am i not sick enough? god #and this is all IGNORING the fact that it is highly likely i have something else too #i’ve had depressive episodes since middle school. i have many adhd symptoms #fuck man! maybe ur kid who’s been an expert at masking since fucking elementary school is going through a bit more than they look to be! #almost like it’s a subconscious impulse for them to look better than they feel! #and i’m not even doing that bad right now! #i’m super burnt out but i’m coping really well! i’m getting shit done i’m working hard i’m still taking care of myself!! #i’ve managed to still laugh and love and feel joy despite despite despite #and all i want is some goddamn recognition once in a while. i am so SICK of being overlooked. fuck

[calamitydaze]

.

#everyone should feel what they need to feel like i’ve certainly been grieving #more so for the community than for him bc i think that really is gone— at least existing as it was— even in the best outcome #but i’ve seen a lot of people acting like we already know he’s guilty when like.. we don’t #it’s his word against hers until they go to court and there’s legitimate points on both sides and reasons to be skeptical of both sides #i think the shock and betrayal and grief of it all is making people see the situation more severely than it really is #again i want 2 stress. this is not intended to defend or absolve him of anything— if it’s real then yeah fuck him #but we don’t know that yet #and i think trying to stay objective and neutral is so key #and that means avoiding jumping the gun on Both ends of the spectrum #(i don’t plan on talking about this a lot btw! i know most of you wanna distance yourselves and i don’t want to make it hard 4 u 2 do that #just wanted to cautiously put this out there) #dream.situation

[pepprs]

hm. i think i am going to stop going to counseling. he does not understand me. he pathologizes things that are not pathological.

#purrs #the premises of counseling / therapy are that you need to have boundaries and be self sufficient and fully healed. FUCK THAT! relationships #are not transactions. we are allowed to need each other. we are allowed to blur lines. we are human and messy. our thoughts and feelings are #PRECIOUS. im not letting go of my thoughts they mean EVERYTHING to me they are the key to the WORLD. im not letting go of redacted why on #EARTH would i stop redacteding to redacted that is HELPFUL for me. i don’t CARE about the roots. who the fuck is it hurting????? NO ONE!!!!! #the way he flat out told me he agrees with my mom. bitch im done forever. im done literaly forever. i don’t know how to tell him but im done #forever. maybe it’s just my id which is what he said to me LMFAO and like maybe i just don’t like being uncomfortable or facing hard truths. #but i don’t fucking think it’s TRUE!!!!!!!!!! yeah i need to grow yeah i have unhealthy behaviors. but i don’t need to let go of the whole #THING bc of some arbitrary transactional concept of what relationships are supposed to be / mean. ive NEVER had a counselor try to uproot th #the whole damn thing like omg what is WRONG with you. i #im paying this man $25 a week to UNDERSTAND me and not ONCE have i felt understood by him. counselors can disagree with me but i literally #never feel like he is on my side. he’s adhering to conventional ideas about what parents are supposed to be and friends are supposed to be a #and work is supposed to be etc etc. and so patronizingly said just enjoy being 23 you don’t wanna waste your 20s! FUCK YOU. i will not #regret anything even if it’s unusual. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! #and also i know he probably watches back thru the recordings and has like his supervisor and professors watch them too which means that #there is a whole team of scientists + my family studying me in a lab and thinking im insane and finding ways to tell me. but fucking bold of #him to assume he can give me any meaningful valuable insight when he is actively checking his laptop / phone during our sessions and rarely #if eve gives me a chance to drive MY OWN CONVERSATION THAT IM PAYING FOR and is so phony abt being on the recording. like Omg. maybe im just #grown out of it. it fucking SUCKS bc i actually have things i am not normal about and really need help with and i can’t actually get help fr #from ppl whose job it is to fucking help me bc they think im not normal about things i PROMISEEEE i am normal about. and the way i effective #effectively told him that and he responded that he can’t take that credibly bc there’s no action behind it BY WHICH HE MEANS I HAVENT #STOPPED REDACTEDING TO ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT REDACTED IN MY WHOLE LIFE? THAT I HAVENT DECIDED IM DONE LEARNING SND GROWING AND CUT IT #OFF?????? DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF. INSANE. the ANTITHESIS of human. we are MEANT TO BE CONNECTED. FUCK!!!!!!!!! #delete later #my old counselors challenged me and disagreed with me b it i never felt like they flat out were unwilling to meet me where i am and #compromise with me. is that not what counselors are supposed to do???? or have i just had bad counselors until now??? because im NORMAL. i #swear to fucking god. im normal. im literally normal and it is not doing ANYONE harm. what is wrong with you. GOD

[rinhaler]

I have had the WORST separation anxiety since my friendship breakup I’m genuinely in a lot of distress most of the time and I’m clinging to my bf so much it’s actually a bit pathetic

#🧚🏽‍♀️ — luxe chit chat #ugh it’s really getting TIRESOME I just wanna feel better again!! #im kinda finding out new things after the fact and it’s just making my wounds open up n I can’t really heal or move on #idk what to say or do or think or feel it’s so stressful #on one had I’m like she’s going through a hard time she needs space everything will go back to normal eventually #and the other hand I’m like she hates you it’s over move on lmao #idk what I did idk if she hates me but I feel like it was more personal than she’s lead me to believe #SO long story short it’s after midnight and I just got to Kay’s house bc I don’t want to be alone for a second lmao #I’m just so hurt and bummed out I really miss her like crazy but I’m also angry that this happened it just seems so senseless #idk idk idk I’m trying to make sure she knows I still care about her and I’m here if she wants to reach out but maybe that’s wrong #idk what’s right I’m just doing my best and trying to be supportive n kind and understanding #ughhh this shit SUUUUUCKS