#i understand burnout is a thing

[roman-and-azathoth]

As someone who used to work at a nursing home, I'm getting really tired of nursing staff turning to each other and going, "if I ever end up like THAT, just fucking kill me" like motherfucker the quality of life of these residents is your SOLE responsibility and if they're not living their best lives that is YOUR FAULT.

These residents are here because this is their best option. They're here because if they weren't, their quality of life would be worse.

These residents make friends with their roommates, the people they eat with, and the people who go to activities with them.

A disabled elder's quality of life is not measured by their ability to walk.

A disabled elder's quality of life is not measured by their ability to breathe without oxygen.

A disabled elder's quality of life is not measured by whether or not they're on a feeding tube.

A disabled elder's quality of life is not measured by level of continence.

A disabled elder's quality of life is not measured by whether or not they can chew their food.

A disabled elder's quality of life is entirely measured on whether or not their needs are met.

If their quality of life is worse at a nursing home than it would be if they had just stayed home, then their needs are not being met. If you are not meeting their needs, that is YOUR FAULT and you have FAILED your residents as a medical professional.

#nursing #stna #nurse aide #nurses #long term care #i understand burnout is a thing #but do NOT fucking talk about your residents like that #they deserve the best life you can provide #and if youre not doing your job then why are you here #family members leave their loved ones on our care for a reason #theyre trusting us to maintain a good quality of life for them #and if we're not doing that then whats the fucking point #like if you genuinely look at somebody in a wheelchair and think “if i ever ended up like that just kill me” thats NOT ok

[al-the-remix]

Random fandom thoughts/feelings

The reblog button is turned off on this post but I think it's another incredibly important one to be thinking about. I enjoy their framing of how the profit economy of other social media sites has been bleeding into fandom spaces on both tumblr, and like this post focuses on, Ao3. It's something that I've been noticing more and more and it really rubs me the wrong way and I feel like OP's post words it perfectly in a way I've been struggling to express.

This sort of connects the previous post I reblogged on the topic talking about how fandom is not a good in road for becoming internet famous.

A facet of this that's really bamboozled me recently is that I feel like i've been seeing more and more of is the idea that a singular person has a right to call "dibs" on a specific piece of media. Which is honestly totally fucking wild to me and if I'm being totally frank kind of dumb.

Every single one of us who interacts with fandom and by extent and IP is flirting with copy right law, the consequences of which everyone should be extremely familiar with by now with the fall of LJ and various lawsuits by authors, dmca notices, etc.

We have all heard the adage "there's no such thing as an original idea"; the idea that everything we create is the amalgamation of all the things that influence us, good and bad.

This is totally normal and good, actually.

For example, if I and another person both watch a TV show, see a production photograph that we really like and decide to draw it and post them one after the other it would be considered extremely bad behaviour to then turn around and make a big stink about how someone else had the gall to turn around and draw the same thing that I did. We can all look at a picture, video, lyrics to a song, become inspired and create something wildly different based on our tastes and influences--but we also are equally, if not more so, likely to create something nearly identical to our peers, especially in a fandom space where ideas are concentrated and we are all consuming each other's thoughts, opinions, and creations. More than once I've come up with an idea for a fic or a drawing that someone else had had a nearly identical execution of without us communicating or viewing each other's work. That's just the way the human brain works, we're hard wired to make connections in a fairly similar way.

You do not have a right to call dibs on any one photograph, clip of video, song lyrics or any other bit of media you might consume.

This stands for artists, writers, gif makers, AMV creators, and any other way you choose to express your love of fandom creatively.

If you are really hard pressed to focus on the numbers and work at being ~influential~ the burden is on you to distinguish yourself creatively.

There's a reason why not being able to see follower counts is so important to the way fandom and tumblr functions. The concept of ~small creators~ and ~big creators~ or BNF or whatever are all burdens you place on yourselves. No one is taking anything away from you by engaging with the same bit of media you are in a similar way. We all have a right to express ourselves creatively and emotionally through any snippet of media that sparks our interest. You do not get to "own it" just because you happened to pump something out first. There are no creative "dibs". This isn't even some sort of "fandom" etiquette thing that has gone thus unspoken. It's a strange possessive thing that I've seen crop up more and more as the idea of being a capital "C" Creator brain rots people's minds and atrophies their ability to be creative.

Sort of on a tangent, but I have a bunch of other personal random thoughts about how this push to be prolific stagnates fandom, but these are more complicated for me and I'm not as clear on how I want to express them. On one had I am completely on board with the "there is no such thing as cringe" mindset and that everyone has a right to create whatever super indulgent thing they want to without having to suffer people being snobby about it. But, on the other hand I feel very strongly that the cycle of people seeing one trope or characterization being repeated repeated over and over and gaining popularity, reading only that--writing only that--leading others to also only consume that, really stymies creativity and makes it harder to grow the fandom if people that are trying to enter aren't into That One Thing, while also ostracizing people who are already in the fandom that aren't into That One Thing. I strongly believe that people's tastes are at least 70% just what they're exposed to, and obviously not everyone is going to be into whatever weird niche concept they're exposed to through fandom, but the more they are the more opportunity they have to expand that horizon. I don't know how many times I've gotten a version of the "I wasn't sure I would like this but I gave it a shot and it turns out I really love it!" and how good that feels and how much I wish other people were emboldened to do the same instead of being so wrapped up in how their work may or may not be received.

This is mostly a subjective thing though, so it's less cut and dry. Like for example, I really struggle with engaging with transgender fic despite being transgender myself because of the way most AFAB fic is written to the point where I avoid it now almost entirely. Which, frankly, really fucking sucks but also I will be the first person to fight for other's ability to write transgender characters wether they appeal my personal feelings and taste or not.

Anyway, this is one of the reasons I'm so protective of fandom community events, especially ones that employ aspects of the fandom gift economy such as exchanges. There are one of the few wholly un self-centred places left where the focus is on gifting someone something they will love and giving back to the fandom at large by flooding it with art and opportunities appreciation and engagement with each other. It is not supposed to be an opportunity for you to think about yourself and "getting something good" in return or using it a convenient deadline. It also offers you an opportunity to engage with fic tropes and genres that you've never considered writing or reading before.

TL;DR if you've found yourself recently squabbling over how many notes your gifs, art, writing, etc. has been getting compared to other people instead of focusing on forging community ties and your own creative expression, I'm sorry to say you're doing it wrong.

#mostly word vomit but it's a topic i think a lot about since both my job and most of my hobbies are creative focused #and after coming off a nearly two year burnout (that was not caused by any of these things) but effected my ability to participate in fando #and some of my hobbies in favour of others like working out in order to focus on work and stuff that would help my brain heal #I just do not think brining a profit economy mindset is really what's going to make fandom engagement /better/ #again why are you acting like capitalists on the socialism website #anyways i'm really trying hard not to go full “parade of shame down the main street” but this behaviour is so appalling to me and while #i understand it i don't understand the appeal of participating in fandom in that fashion

[dogstomp]

Dogstomp #3059 - May 17th

Patreon / Discord Server / Itaku / Bluesky

#In which I learn that you can burn out on things you actively enjoy doing even while actively enjoying them #I am not good with managing burnout because I don't understand the mechanism of it #I know you have to moderate how much bad things you do so that you don't burn out on them #but you're telling me I have to moderate how much of a good thing I do or else it will also become less good? BIOLOGY SUCKS. #comic diary #daily comic #comic journal #autobio comics #comics #webcomics #furry #furry art #may 17 2023 #comic 3059 #slice of life

[cerise-on-top]

Heyhey..h um could you write some fluff/comfort with reader x 2bhank? Pretty pls? Like where the reader has been depressed(?)/burnt out for a few months and has been going on less and less missions and one day just refuses to leave their room for one self deprecating reason or another so 2b and hank try making them feel better in their own ways

Very self indulgent request I know but sometimes you gotta give yourself a little treat <:]

Hey! Sorry, I sort of misread this and thought you wanted 2BHank helping a burnt out reader, so I wrote that instead ^^; Again, I'm really sorry about that!

2BHank with a Burnt-Out!S/O

For as dense as Hank could be most of the time, even he can tell that you haven’t been doing too well as of late. At first he’d think you were just sick and needed some time to rest, which meant he would take on the missions you would have gone on otherwise. He was a competent grunt in his field, he could accomplish just about any task given to him. 2B, while he could sense that something was up with you, would let Hank do just that so you could recover a bit. He didn’t think you were just sick, he somehow could feel that it was something worse, something that wouldn’t go away by just letting you rest for a few days, but he left it at that. After all, you did go on missions again, some with Hank, Sanford or Deimos, some on your own. However, at some point, you just hid away from everyone, shying away from the dim light of the sun as well. Hank wanted to see you, he really did, but you wouldn’t open your door. Why? Were you doing alright? It was obvious you had been “sick” again as of late, but even he stopped buying it at some point. While he wouldn’t be too concerned about your physical wellbeing, you could handle yourself in a fight, he’d kick the door in anyway to see if you were there in the first place.

Lo and behold, you were in your room after all, lying under the blanket, not moving, merely sighing as you heard the door fall. Polite as he could be, Hank picked up the door and leaned it against the wall before walking up to you and sitting down on your bed. He’s not usually one for too much talk, but he would ask you what’s wrong, why you didn’t open the door and why you’ve been “sick” so often as of late. He won’t judge you, but he just wants to know the reasons. When you tell him you’ve simply been burnt out on it all, he wouldn’t know what you mean. Hank genuinely doesn’t know what burnout is, so you’d have to explain it to him. But even then, I don’t think he’d really understand the gravity of the situation. You’re tired? Then take some time off. He tries, but it’s not that simple.

The open door would catch 2B’s attention and he’d enter to check up on you, involving himself in the conversation as well. He, too, would ask you how you’ve been feeling and what has been the matter. When you tell him you’re pretty sure you’re burnt out, he’ll sit down on the bed and ask you how he could help. He may not be an expert by any means, but at the very least he knows that this will likely be something that will last a long time. Although he may not be too happy about that, he won’t push you to be better immediately. Will also explain the situation to Hank, whose gears have started turning. If you know how they can help you, that’s great. There’s no one solution that fits all. A few people at S.Q. have been burnt out from all the missions they had to go on, so you’re definitely not the first.

2B will let you rest for the time being. If you ever feel up to it, then he’ll send you on a small mission that doesn’t involve too much danger, such as picking something up from a vendor. However, he won’t have you fight for your life while you’re burnt out, those tasks will be left to Hank and the others. 2B will also be checking up with you more often. He’s not the best with his words when it comes to more emotional things, but he tries. Will comfort you to the best of his ability and won’t stress you out about all those things. You need rest, that much is obvious, so he’ll let you have just that. S.Q. will continue to perform. If anyone ever talks badly about you, then they’ll be sent to him and will have a stern talking to. No one will talk shit about you as long as he has something to say about it. Overall, he’ll be very compassionate about it all. If you need something from him, he’ll give it to you, just give him the word.

When it comes to slowly reintroducing you to small things, it will actually be Hank who does that. He just really wants to spend time with you and 2B, but you’ve been so distant as of late. But he remembers 2B’s words and won’t force you to do anything, but will ask you if you’re up for something small. This might start out with something along the lines of playing cards or board games with him. If you say yes he’s actually over the moon and his metaphorical tail will start wagging. Slowly, he’ll bring you more and more things to do. New things for you to try, and old things you used to enjoy before you got burnt out. Naturally, there’s no pressure from his side, he just really wants to have an excuse to spend time with you. And if you simply do something along the lines of knitting while he’s sitting on the floor, just watching you, then he’s content.

Overall, neither of them will blame you for what happened. In fact, they’ll try to help you to get better again. If you ever just want the two of them to stay with you, then you can ask them to. Of course, if they’re going on a mission, then they won’t have too much time to cuddle with you. However, you’re more than welcome to call on either, or both, of them to just get something off your chest as well, they’re more than happy to listen. 2B and Hank just wanna see you smile again. If it takes a lot of time, then so be it, but they both just hope things will go back to how they used to be. They’ll both do just about anything for you, so don’t be afraid to ask them for anything at all, you’ll likely get it eventually.

#madness combat #madness combat x reader #madness combat doc #doc x reader #hank j wimbleton #hank j wimbleton x reader #2bhank x reader #got to learn a thing or two about burnout today which was nice #now I have a better understanding of it than I did before #again I'm really sorry for misreading your request!! #it's nice to have another madcom request though it's been a while since the last one #I do like cod a lot but sometimes it's nice to have some variety #sometimes I'm also curious about what fandom will come after cod #because cod came after Madness Combat #my fixations usually last for roughly a year before I move onto something new #so I have another three or four months of cod before I get into something new. probably #I was really into madcom for roughly one year. like really really into it #even now I really like it and am looking forward to another episode #I wonder if I'll be writing this many requests for the new fandom as well #well only one way to find out

[becauseplot]

thinking about archivists again. below the cut: obscene amounts of brainrot in the form of a long-winded relationship study and oddly specific references to canon that may or may not be accurate

im trying to come up with some sort of au for them (writer's block and creative burnout is a BITCH it's okay though we stay silly) and there's just something about how qphil and qcellbit don't (or didn't) really wind up in each other's circles often. sure they were friendly with each other in passing, and they definitely had some nice little interactions earlier on: cellbit briefly interviewing phil on one of his first days on the island over a cup of coffee and solidifying phil's view of cellbit as the Dedicated Investigator; phil asking cellbit to babysit chayanne and tallulah while he's away on a trip and cellbit being more than happy to; phil briefly checking in with cellbit --- who was in the process of tumbling into his regret arc, cutting off ties with loved ones and making himself a martyr --- and asking if he was okay when phil spotted him hanging alone in the back of the group; chatting about the upcoming wedding and phil advising cellbit that he and roier should probably introduce some sort of dress code (lmao); cellbit watching phil and missa meet up for the first time in months on the way to the federation's people-freezers and all of the pieces rapidly falling into place (the name of phil's waystone, phil's skull backpack, phil's elusive "husband," ohhhhhhh...). they've always been in each other's peripheral, but never directly involved in each other's personal lives.

until the happy pills.

see the thing about archivists is that they're not drawn together by a pre-existing friendship; they're more friendly acquaintances at this point, perhaps almost-friends, though they're certainly not close. but then forever's life is under threat, and god, they both love forever immensely. with direct help from bad and indirect help from others (qpac you LEGEND), they're eventually able to formulate a plan that successfully drag forever out from under the haze of drugs, pull him to the surface. they sit next to each other as they sit at the bedside of their mutual friend, watch him breathing, and try to breathe themselves.

and from that moment on it's solidified: they know they can depend on each other, when shit hits the fan. they have their respective strengths, and they balance out each other nicely. i wish i had gotten more of a chance to watch their dynamic during purgatory 1 (unfortunately i have a life sadge) but from what i saw, they turned out to be some pretty good co-leaders, and an interesting dynamic at that: phil acting more as a support role (moral support, resource support, combat support, ALL the support) and stepping up into a leader-like role when needed, but ultimately letting cellbit take the helm a lot of the time since he's a strategist with more practice managing large groups of people (i wont get into it here, and i want to watch more vods so i can more properly analyze them but HOUGHH i have THOUGHTS!! SO MANY!!!)

what im trying to get at is that they were initially in the peripheral in each others lives but were eventually drawn together out of necessity, due to circumstances. the mutual respect followed, which was then followed by trust, and then collaboration, and then friendship. i've also made this post talking about their dynamic, how they both understand each other's need to focus on the here and now and understand that they don't need to know every little thing about each other to still trust each other. and this is so integral to their relationship. it's what makes archivists archivists.

so now all that's left for me to do is try to come up with some sort of au i can chuck them in, incorporating this idea of "friendship of necessity" as a core feature of the plot. i have scattered ideas but none are particularly appealing or solid enough. i will try though!! if u have any suggestions/thoughts/ideas feel free to leave a comment or say in tags (pspsppsps come brainrot with meeee)

#qsmp philza #qsmp cellbit #archivists #dont mind me im just rambling #im specifically trying to come up with an au because i feel like a lot of my creative burnout recently has to do with the fact that ive- #-been stressing about my fics being canon-compliant and up-to-date with and accurate to the Lore as well as my characters being in-characte #-with a deep understanding of each character's lore when that is!! really hard to do!! considering how many characters there are and how- #-many hours of vods there are and the fact i still need to do Life things sometimes. #so writing an au allows me to be more flexible with the characterization (while still incorporating the integral aspects of the characters) #-AND i dont have to worry about being 100% up to date with the lore if the fic literally takes place another world!! #currently the main problem is COMING UP with the au lol #anyway that's enough out of me i love these guys im going CRAZY #also i should mention this post is NOT proofread lol

[maxphilippa]

This one goes to the students who feel like they haven't achieved anything such as medals, honorary titles and others;

It's okay.

Studying is, already complicated as it is nowdays, and you don't owe anyone anything either. You're literally just trying your best in this very fucked up schooling system we are in. Even if you feel like you could have been more at one point or that you could have been so much more than what "you ended up being", it's okay.

You are already going through enough for others to put you down for such a thing or for yourself to do that to you.

Of course those things are great to get and are normal to want to achieve. But you not having them doesn't make you any less great of an student. You're here. You're trying. And that's what matters at the end.

You don't gotta have an physical thing to prove that.

#text #maxposteo #It's 5am and my mom made me feel bad about myself on thar #however i think that it is very important to also understand that students. HAVE a mental health #burnout is a thing that exists #and some other factors too #please be kind to yourself #and to your kids. if you have any

[atlas-affogato]

Lowkey convinced I could have been one of those autistic child prodigies if I didn't also have adhd

#people have always told me im smart but i cant fuckin FOCUS #like i understands things farely well and was an A student but i need fucking accommodations if i want to use my full potential yknow? #some things i dont get right off the bat and some things i do #somethings i have to work really hard to understand and it upsets me when i dont get it immediately #nobody told me i wasnt supposed to get things immediately #that everyone has to learn and work hard #i always just assumed that if i didnt get it right away then i was dumb and this was the thing i would never understand #i would thrive in academics if i could understand big words and had the attention span to read and write fancy essays #autism #actually autistic #actually adhd #actually audhd #audhd #adhd #gifted kid #gifted kid burnout #former gifted kid #gifted kid problems

[citrusitonit]

cant belive this slightly altered formula version of me be dragging me in her problems fr

#sister issues #grrrr #she goes emotional n irrattional #goin like “ur just like dad!!” uh huh n u just like mom !! #IS THIS A VENT #OR I DUNNO IM MORE MAD THAN UPSET #OR UH #I KINDA UNDERSTAND Y SHES LIKE THIS #GIFTED BURNOUT SYNDROME I CAN TELL #SO I UNDERSTAND WHEN SHE GOES ALL TANTRUMY N IRRATTIONAL #like uhh the thing that u act like a child now bc u couldnt before #kinda sad #idunno ive just got this warped up view of her cuz shes like traumatizor n trauma buddy at same time #wow #i dunno man just dont start a family when ur emotionally immature the end

[blinkees]

please read the pinned post before requesting. i had to delete quite a few requests this morning, and going forward i will be less lenient with vague requests. :(

if you aren’t sure what you want, there are plenty of blogs that collect blinkies that you can scroll through. this blog is for *specific requests you cannot find elsewhere*.

a good request is something like, “can you make a black and purple blinkie with a picture of Mario that says ‘Wahoo!’ please?”

but if your request is something like “any mario blinkies?” i will almost definitely delete it. im sorry.

#hopefully the examples help people understand what i mean when i say please make DETAILED requests #i rewrote this four times trying to make it sound as nice as i could im sorry if it still sounds harsh OTL #these just take time and effort and i don’t want to burnout making things that already exist does that make sense

[brown-little-robin]

—

#im sorry I haven't been able to interact with the specific-polls. I love them and am learning abt y'all through them #but I'm running on quite low social energy. sorry #so although I might make a poll (?) in the future I can't do a lot of talking right now. #actually I must beg your understanding for all things rn. I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment. tim drake kinnie hours are real #but!!!! BUT #so is God's grace. #and peace and rest. #even in the beginnings of burnout God's grace and peace and rest are real. for me. #<333 #also God's love. through various things but especially my dear friends :3 #I'm not asking for space! I'm asking you to understand if I'm slow to respond and/or verry tired <3 #robin speaks

[verysaxyberry]

I think the thing that just continues to astound me about ttrpgs is the fact that people who meet up and are friends outside of the game just... refuse to try anything other than 5e? I've seen so many stories about DMs asking players to try a new system, and they just refuse.

Why? I mean if you come into the night like fully expecting to play 5e but instead they throw something new at you, I get that being frustrating. But I'm talking about DMs asking ahead of time for something new and being refused.

Hello???? These are your friends, you're like 99% going to have a good time even if all you guys can manage is rolling up characters. And 9 out of 10 times its another d20 system so the rules really are not that different.

We started out with 5e, played a full 1-20 campaign and did lots of oneshots. And you know what we all said when our DM, the guy who helped bring the world to life who does the most WORK, asked us to try a new system? We said, "Absolutely dude!"

And ya know what? We had fun! We made mistakes, we had to recheck rules, but we had fun! In fact, it was like playing for the first time again! That exact same sense of wonder and fun!

And guess what? We liked it more than 5e! Its our new standard go to system! We try out other systems occasionally too! And if we had hated it and the other ones? Well, 5e is still right there and we could go back at any time!

Anyway, all this to say, try something new. I mean ideally I want you to try something outside of DnD editions, but honestly just try anything outside of 5e. I promise, if you hate it 5e will still exist.

#sometimes i reqd those stories and inwonder if you guys are friends at all #i work i get it this is one of the few nights you have to relax #but if youre with friends youre goinf to have a good time #you guys meeting irl have an advantage! #face to face meetings are so fun! #we have to play online because weve all dispersed since college #but we still try new things! #idk this is just something thats always bothered me when i read stories of burnout #especially dm burnout #if the guy making the story and the game wants to try something new just try it #at worst you guys get to razz on a bad system #at best you discover something new that you love #val rambles #'i cant afford books' #hey i get ya dude #wizards is one of the worst when it comes to books needed and prices #and there was a website that had nearly every system uploaded for you ro download #but someone got angry hecause they font understand how piracy works again #and the site got taken down #qnyway if you cant afford it i get it

[cappurrccino]

[longest sigh in the world]

#//ignore me while i ramble into the void #just trying to get myself out of my own head and working on my dumb little presentation that's due sunday #i don't want to do it because i don't understand what i'm talking about #turns out metadata is one of the things that simply Will Not Click for me (i blame the XML-ness) #and that makes me sad bc i'd like to. y'know. maybe do special collections or digitization or smth #and will almost certainly need to do metadata work for those #also trying to convince myself that 32 isn't end of the world old and that i still have time to like. do things in life. #that i'm not destined to be a sad old spinster or smth. #ugh. i think either the stress in my life has rekindled my burnout or the seasonal depression is starting early #fucking miserable either way tbh

[charliecuntcicle]

hey man are you any amount of schoolwork because looking at you makes me unable to breathe (gifted kid burnout rizz)

#gifted kid burnout #it sucks so bad #cus like #i was literally fine and then i hit middle school and i started actually struggling because i wasnt ahead anymore #they didnt teach us anything actually important they just taught us harder ways to do simple things #and i started getting like c’s #and my mom was so pissed off #and one day i was like ‘yk c is the average right? im not failing anything’ #and she goes ‘you arent the average. youre a GATE student.’ #like ok girl thanks #and i cant even say she didnt get it #cus she was literally in GATE as a kid??? #but shes also said to my face #‘i can still get a’s not caring but you stop caring and you get c’s’ #like it was an outrageous thing that i struggled more in classes that i didnt enjoy #i feel like its pretty understandable that youll probably do better in something you enjoy #anyways yeah #i got told i was smart in like 3rd grade and now everybody thinks that i need to be a prodigy at everything i do #i also have an adhd and autism diagnosis now which seems to be a common theme with my GATE friends

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#we r caught back in the agony spiral yall. bc ive made no progress writing today bc its been a long week and im tired #and i cant focus. but i could probably. im just being a baby abt it #i should just go to sleep. ive gotta go do field work tomorrow and im kinda stressed abt it #or i should do something fun thwt will made me less miserable but i csnt do that. theres no timd #time. so i should sleep. but sleep is a waste of time and really i shoulf b writing #but im tired and my tummy hurt :-( #i hope tomorrow doesnt take long :-(( #no sample collection pls 🙏 #and ive got interview stuff to prep for. like thats a month away but i gotta convince ppl i understand photosynthesis #and its been a fucking minute since biochem :-( #ugh. im trying to make better decisions in this new year. less destructive decisions bc i have to convince ppl ive got my shit together #so ill get hired and also i dont wanna b an annoying bummer to exist around #still no joy for what i do tho. like i was working with a masters student last week and she was like oh yea it was fun #and im like *awkward pained smiled* bc it wasnt as bad as i thought but doing it for 2 weeks would kinda hurt s lot #so well see how much damage it does me #no joy. only tasks to do. things to accomplish. for what? why? who the fuck cares. not me #me. without feeling: it would b interesting to see if X and Y #interesting in a i don't gave a fuck sorta way. bleh. so bitter. burnout u never recover from #at least i feel better thsn i did in December. well see how long it takes to drive me under again. #its just weird to look back at the me of before who was excited abt things. i burned thr insides out of that person #but no tonight we r making better choices. no writing happening so we do something more fun #ugh. i just wanna think abt quantum l3ap. but no. other things to do. sigh... even in my fun time im not allowed too much fun :-( #unrelated

[kakusu-shipping]

Nepal Sanctum

What’s up party people back once again being cringe and free with more Overwatch self insert fanfiction part 2 outta who knows we’re flying by the seat of our pants in this house

Part 1: Mountain’s Peak

In which I get to meet the Omnic that saved my life, and he unfortunately meets me in return

It was a brisk morning, cold as always on the Shambali mountain top, as Mondatta walked alongside the rising sun back to his home. He’d left his personal morning meditation a little earlier than usual so he could pick up his new house guest in time to make it to group morning meditation.

“Emile?” He asked into the empty hall as the monk stepped good inside his home, gently tapping the snow from the soles of his sandals. He expected the human to still be sleeping as he approached the spare room and knocked, “It is time to get up.”

“I’m up!” Came the loud voice of an excited teenager from the other side of the door. Mondatta was a little surprised, and proud. He’d told Emile they’d be up at sunrise, but wasn’t expecting the human to actually be prepared after sleeping for three days straight.

The door opened in with a strong force, releasing the hot air trapped within from the fireplace. There stood Emile, looking extremely pleased with himself, dressed in a wrinkled Shambali robe he’d been using as a blanket. The fabric was thin, with only one sleeve, leaving Emile’s entire left half exposed. He had no shoes, with a long peice of cloth snatched at his waist as a sort of long skirt.

“How do I look? Pretty monk like, huh?” His smile was so bright, the smile of a child looking to be praised. Mondatta thought on his response.

“Y... Y-yes...” He finally settled on, tapping the human’s exposed shoulder, “Very... Monk like...” He felt he should be speaking more eloquently, but truth be told Emile threw him pretty off balance with this. “H-However, my student, it is rather cold out there and I.. Do not think this is enough..”

“Oh...” Emile looked over himself, “You don’t... Think so?” He sounded a little disappointing. Mondatta didn’t like that tone to his voice. 

In a swift motion, Mondatta removed his own upper layer. His robes were usually thicker, to compensate for his lack of outer armoring, so they should be at least a little more suitable for humans.

He pulled the robe onto Emile’s shoulders, guiding his arms into the sleeves before folding it over itself and tying it off at the waist, “There we are. That should be better.”

Emile gripped tightly at the hemming of the robes, staring much like he had the night Mondatta first spoke to him. “Th.. Th-ThankYou! Master Mondatta!” He bowed a bit, smiling to himself once again, brighter than before.

“It was no trouble, my student. Now get your shoes on, we do not want to be late.”

-----

The two walked through the Shambali village, Mondatta greeting monks as he walked with his hands behind his back. Beside him Emile was overwhelmed with the buildings and the snow and the monks oh how the monks enamored him so. Every new Omnic Emile turned to look at, staring as though he could absorb knowledge about them if he stared hard enough.

It was hard not to focus on, Mondatta found himself glancing down to the human every time they passed someone new, just to catch him staring back at them. The human’s interest in his siblings was endearing, the interest that drove him to leave home and climb a mountain all alone. An interest that could, potentially, change the world.

Yes an interest that-

Mondatta glanced to his side again to find his human companion gone. Humans don’t tend to just vanish into thin air, do they?

Hiding his panic the monk looked around himself, slowly as he could to appear calm, scanning his surroundings little at a time, till his sensors landed on white robes and white hair, face down in the snow.

“E-Emile-!” His voice raised a bit more than expected, drawing his sibling’s attention as he rushed maybe a bit too much to the human’s side, “M-My student, are you alright?”

“’m oood” Emile’s voice came muffled from the snow before he pushed himself up, “Just tripped, I’m okay.” He spoke confident for someone with a bloody nose.

“You are bleeding.” Mondatta corrected, helping Emile to stand. “What happened?”

“Wasn’t looking where I was going.” Emile answered, brushing snow off himself as he continued to look around, sniffling the small amount of blood back into his nose.

Mondatta supposed to himself that made sense, he’d never walked these snow covered streets, and was clearly distracted by the Omnics around him. This was clearly on him for not securing Emile better.

With a nod of agreement to himself, Mondatta took Emile’s hand in his own, “Well then, let us get moving again.” He spoke as he turned and began walking to the temple with Emile closely in toe.

He didn’t see the flush to the human’s cheeks as he stumbled quickly behind the Omnic.

-----

At the temple a small group of monks sat together at the top of the stairs, among them just the man Mondatta was looking for.

“Good Morning, Brother Zenyatta,” He greeted merrily as he approached the group.

Zenyatta, a small Omnic in a similar state to Mondatta, stood, along with the rest of the group, and turned to address him, “Mondatta, good morning.”

“How lucky to find you here.” Mondatta clasped his hands together, barely holding in how giddy he felt as he motioned to the human at his side, “This is Emile. Emile, this is my brother, Zenyatta, he is the one who brought you to us.”

The other Omnics in the group looked to Zenyatta quizzically, the largest of them, a ravager with his cords pulled from the back of his head resting splayed out down to his shoulders, leaned down to the smaller and asked, confusion in his voice, “You brought a human here?”

“It was not my intention..” Zenyatta answered back in a whisper as he looked down at the human, who stared back up at him with the same enamored eyes he’d given every other Omnic on the way here.

“Emile, was there not something you wanted to say to Zenyatta?” Mondatta gave the human a small nudge.

“R-Right!” Emile squeaked in a terribly human way and stepped forward, gripping tightly to the robes Mondatta had lent him, “Th-Thankyou, Zenyatta, for sa-aving my life! I hope I can make it up to you some day!” Emile bowed his head to the monk before him.

Zenyatta seemed to flinched back a bit at the human’s movements, “Yes, well... It was no big deal. Please excuse us.” With that, the group dispersed away from Mondatta and Emile around the temple.

Mondatta didn’t like the tone in Zenyatta’s voice, it was one of nerves. The quick way he left as well... Truth be told, everyone was feeling rather distant this morning, even when they greeted Mondatta they did so a few steps away. Perhaps allowing Emile to stay was a mistake if his mere presence put his siblings on such edge like this...

“-Model, constructed first in 2048, first addition, crafted wooden tables-”

“What was that?” Emile’s mutterings dragged Mondatta from his thoughts, he looked down at the human who snapped out of it.

“Oh- S-Sorry I was, uhm... T-Taking note of... the models of Omnics here...” The human’s face flushed slightly as he fidgeted with the collar of his robes.

“Their models... Who was that you were speaking of?” Mondatta leaned a bit to get to Emile’s eye level.

“Oh, um, there. Copper red robes, the one throwing the ball to the one in scarlet.” Emile pointed.

“Ah, that is Willow. How did you know that about her? That she made tables?”

“Her hands,” Emile wiggled his own fingers, “She has flexible finger joints that allow for more precision, along with ball jointed knuckles that allow for her fingers to be removed and replaced with tools, usually chisels and v tools I believe...”

“You knew that... from just her hands?” Emile nodded. “Intriguing...”

Mondatta stood back up, hand on his chin as he looked over his siblings once again. This human’s fascination started with models, their builds and purposes in the past. His sibling’s interest in the human start at stop just as surface level, they were too cautious to approach him, simply for the fact he was human.

Mondatta’s fans whirred, for a similar reason a human may hum, as he handed Emile a meditation orb and motioned, “Well then, why don’t you go take the empty mat by Willow and we will start morning meditation.”

“Ah- Y-Yes sir!” Emile quickly ran to his place, holding the orb tightly in his hands.

There may be a lesson to be learned from this human yet, he’d just need some time.

#Emile's Writing #I am writing for no one and have no clue where this is going #I just need everyone to understand I was not always the darling of the Monastery #They don't like humans and I stare a LOT #Mondatta POV was a mistake but here we are here we are #We'll get somewhere next chapter maybe who knows #If I write it again who knows #I'm in a weird nebulas place where it's not that I dislike my art and how it looks #I just don't feel the motivation to do it #Like the writing is good my drawings are good #I simply have no vibes to do these things #And yeah when I make myself do them they're still good so it's not burn out #during burnout everything looks bad #so idk end of the year little slump I guess who knows #Need the motivation so PLEASE bug me about this thankyou #If the next chapter isn't done in a week you're gonna have to poke me about it please and thankyou

[letsriddlemethislucifer]

          --- ooc: I’ll definitely think about it but still aside from the heat there’s also that slight fear of burn out with juggling so many characters.

#ooc: I am very much out of practice but once i get the hang of it again I'll be fine #ooc: also that's sort of why i haven't piled up on threads and drafts because i rlly am afraid of burnout #ooc: thank u all who understand tho i fr appreciate it #ooc: I do very much lean a lot towards my ocs but I also love my canons too #ooc: just kinda that thing where I will lean more towards one for a bit and then teeter to the other the next