#i will put the body back to Sleep.

[2-wuv]

i want to be good , i think

#it's very difficult given my role but i will Try . #pk;m Inland Empire🟣 #first step is no more in-sys self harm . #though the bandages are from accidents . don't worry I'm fine #second step is do not relapse. this is easy if i avoid being up front during showers. #and oh god I'm already hallucinating the. ahem. don't worry it's fine #urge surfing! practice urge surfing. it'll help. it'll stop. #ask to tag #i think maybe waking up was a mistake but it's okay. it's okay. I'll be fine. #immm not. going. to Hurt. anyone. or. myself . it'll be Fine. #i will put the body back to Sleep. #i am Not alone up front. E-chem is here. I am safe

[habken]

Rate your day with an screenshot/doodle/photo of Deku

#ask #it’s like all the strain that I put my body through throughout the semester came back to kick my ass #now I have to sleep for a week and recover

[puppyeared]

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

#MOTHER FFFFUCKER #to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants #im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night #at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn #to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS #the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori #but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey #consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!! #just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick #outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to #animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better #at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH #i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc #im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over #where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands #there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE #ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles #but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your #health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!! #im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves #also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet #im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to #have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to #to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up #their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ #yapping

[move-the-bass-down]

human jake because I think he’d wear one of those dumb shell necklaces and boardshorts way into his 50s.

he’s also a drag queen.

#nobody ask me for my essay on WHY jake is a drag queen #because I will give it to you #i’ve thought about this a lot #his drag name would be jake the drag queen #a la bob the drag queen #jake the dog #Finn grew up in the back of drag clubs and club music puts him to sleep #BODY TRANSFORMTION AND SHAPESHIFTING IS TOO CRUCIAL TO HIS CHARACTER TO IGNORE #atimers #adventure time #my art

[gonnahaveabigtalklater]

headcanon: when Harry & Kim start back at the 41st, the precinct conspires to put them on super boring/irrelevant paperwork in a comfy, dimly lit room for like 3 weeks until they both recover from their respective sleep deprivations.

#because you KNOW Lt Concussion and Lt Lostallmyblood are going to insist on immediately starting work #they're gonna be like: I don't need even a single day off give me your hardest most gruelling case RIGHT NOW #JV is going to have a great time explaining snidely that as the new Mr & Mr Shitkid they have a backlog of 456534 forms to complete first #they're gonna be so pissed and he'll be like “that's right I fucked you >:)” #then he'll come back an hour later to tenderly put blankets over their sleeping bodies #I just like how the C-wing looks out for each other despite everything okay #disco elysium

[deus-ex-mona]

#ngl im just thinking about what a possible honeypre event could be like with meoto as the event song #tbh i wouldn’t put it past honeypre to literally marry them off in such a hypothetical event story bc you just *know* they would #they managed to cook up one of the fruitiest event stories (honeymoon event) with an absolutely nothing mv ([redacted] anime op) #so imagine what they could’ve done with an mv of lxl as an actual couple lmao #honeypre come back im still w a i t i n g for that megu event story #m a n i miss this dumb game it’s the easiest mobile rhythm game to pfc on #plus the guerilla lives were funny. esp minami’s horrible dances #i still think about his hipthrusts every day… #ahhhhhhh i really should go to sleep i think ive polluted the dash enough for one night #i hope i don’t oversleep in the morning save me love chuchu #LXL MEOTO CRISIS 2K24 #染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—

[altruistic-meme]

my cats are so mad at me bc I keep not going to sleep at the Set Time bc I had been mad-dash crocheting every morning and im just. so sad for them. bc im about to fuck up the schedule even worse.

#by 'mad at me' i also mean that they've been forcibly cuddling me in an attempt to get me to go to bed #which I'm not opposed to aside from when i need to actively move my body #or my project #but also next week i start working on a day shift schedule which means starting tomorrow i have to try and stay doing a days sleep schedule #and they're gonna be So Upset #anka has never been on a days schedule and jj hasnt in 2 years #anka the banshee #sir jj the cat #hopefully i don't get put BACK on nights come april so that i don't have to mess up their routine AGAIN #shh ac

[icewindandboringhorror]

Misc. photos from the past year or so ~

#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that -- #1. napping bapy boye sneeping on his own foot as if it were a pillow #2. The little primrose that I have seems to bloom sporadically all year around as long as I bring it inside and don't let it freeze #in the winter. This was a flower that came up randomly like mid november lol #3. Rainbow where you can see a little bit of a second rainbow near the bottom of it :0 #4. CHILDREN.... love to see them..... #5. Halloween Candy ranking tierlist. not important enough to post on it's own. so throwing it in with one of these I guess lol #I am also not really a candy person at all and prefer bready stuff like cakes rather than chocolate bars (if I even have to have sweets #at ALL which usually I prefer savory food). I suspect the apple is controversial but.. I do love apples .... huzzah #actually am having applle and peanut butter snack right now as I'm writing this lol #6. Various bowls/cups/etc. that I got from a store at COMPLETELY different times like.. years apart from each other #yet at some point realized that they all mostly match in paint color and seem to be part of the same pattern #But I totally didnt make that connection until a few years ago when I was putting up dishes. I just bought them all invidually because it's #like 'oh cool! a cat' *1 year later* 'oh cool! a cat!' etc. lol.. I guess it must be a popular design if it's been around being sold that #long. #7. carne asada burrito and matcha bubble tea... oughhgh.... again one of my very rare meals where I actually go and get something.. #probably my favorite meal currently. Something about the Chronic Anemia makes me crave beef burritos madly despite only having one #maybe twice a year or so ghjbhj.. plus the beans.... onions.... many of my Diet Forbidden foods... Also of course the little aishas #are there.... somehow they shall split the meal together even though it's like 10x bigger than their bodies.. they are also hungry #and vastly anemic... huzzah to them... #8. I've had this shirt for a long time but it fits very weird so I can never find a way to use it in outfits?? But I recently had #an appointment where a doctor needed to be able to look at my back and it's one of the only actual Shirts that I have (mostly i just own #long robes or tunics or jumper dress type of things that would be hard to lift up or etc. like... I dont even own a single normal 't-shirt' #or anyting aside from one giant tshirt that I sleep in in the summer lol.) So I wore this there.. I forget how much I love the pictures on #it.. how pleasant... little hummingbird... AND I think one of the flowers is supposed to be columbine ... ! #photo diary

[sorrowsaint]

im going to bed

heres a song i like goodnight

#...................... #............................................. #.............................................................................. #thats probably enough of a buffer. #last night i dreamed i was in the hollow below the tree that my body was in. when i woke up in the morgue all i wanted to do was curl up #my bones remember i think. even if i dont. sometimes i feel a phantom emptiness on my chest #like the arrows. like the knives. #its scary. its so scary. #im just a kid #will i remember it forever? how long will it haunt me? #people die all the time. people die and come back. people die and come back and they remember but it doesnt haunt them #i was trapped in death and i think thats... its not gone. maybe it is magically but i still feel it. #all i had for so many months was the vague knowledge that i was dead and this overwhelming sense of sharp coldness #my body remembers. i remember. how does anyone forget things like this? i dont want this. i dont want to remember. #i like it under my bed. ive put pillows and blankets down here. the vent that blows in cold air is here too so it feels comfy #and maybe it reminds me of being under the tree. and i dont know why but thats something im actually okay with #my body was under something for so long. the soil was cursed but i loved those woods. i miss the woods. my body hurts. #my mom is missing a leg and sometimes she talks about phantom pains. like her leg realizes it isnt there and screams #can you feel that way about a hole in your chest and your neck. can you feel that way about a tree above you. #can you feel that way about death #maybe i should get angry. but alone. so so alone so i dont hurt anyone. #i cant prove him right. because he was wrong and everything he ever said was wrong and he sucks and i hate him #im not like him. #im like gertie and my parents. #im so tired. im so tired. i want to sleep in dirt for a few more months. maybe sort myself out somewhere dark and quiet.

[lurkiestvoid]

massaging my flesh from the outside is no longer enough I need to peel it from my bones and really get at it from the inside, really get on up in there. just fuckin tenderize me cap'n

#uhhhh #i guess #body horror tw #??? #but like. yeah #i need to massage from the bone-side I can't reach where the pain is worst #so im just laying here trying not to writhe while wife sleeps #only crying a lil bit :') #tbh maybe taking me apart and cleaning everything and putting me back together would fix me #give the skeleton a good wash and debridement #reeeeally work those muscles and tissues. wring em out and put em back #its been raining off and on and i am s u f f e r i n g #rambles #personal #chronic pain

[simonstamenovic]

ok hi haha lol I dont rly feel like going in circles in my head forever trying to figure out whether, among other "smaller" things, being left alone in a room w only media as a child and not feeling like I had even a semblance of a personality for most of my life counts as "trauma"

a lot of these parts of me are new, I'm just recently putting names to them and it feels as though I'm developing facets of personalities in my mid 20s after a lifetime of either feeling like I'm basically just ADHD in a person, an amalgamation of kins shoved into a body, or something made of guilt Also shoved into a body.

I don't like, claim to know what this means. but I don't think a lot of my current mutuals would feel comfortable interacting w me bc I don't necessarily believe in the black and white of what plurality is. I'm not able or planning on getting any formal diagnosis and while I'm discussing this w my therapist they're very much not one to pathologize

I definitely don't feel like one person but I dont think id count for most of you as a "system" as the different parts of me feel as though theyre still developing. take all of this as you will, I'm not going to stress my body out more by trying to figure out "what" I am as I've been doing that my whole life and I'm kinda tired of it.

I know that I'm not entirely one thing and feel Enough like multiple things for myself, but blurred in a lot of ways. like some sort of gem with many different facets.

not sure where to go w this tbh take this how you will. im not comfortable saying I'm leaning one way or the other regarding system discourse, (<- not a phrase i want to use but the best shorthand i have) as I genuinely don't believe the human brain is nearly that black and white.

I'm both "me" and very much not "me" at times. idk what this means but ik I'm not comfortable saying im just pandora and im not sure im "allowed" to say im a system and im not sure if it matters, or should matter, regarding friends. im going to be like this regardless, id unfollow me if this grey area im likely to stay in bothers you

if you don't want me refollowing I'd probably block, too, as my memory is bad

#puts this in my drafts to publish at atime to cause maximum damage to my #social circle and mental health bc i LOVE conflict and pain #< A JOKE lmao this has been causing me severe distress for ages so whatever unfollow me idc #outgoing transmission #idk when im gonna publish this ive been going back n forth w my therapist a lot #rhis maybbe repetitive im just uhh tired and have been legitimately driving myself crazy overthis for ages #bc honestly like i didnt exist as a person until age 14 at least and that person #wasnt... me. isn't me they dont exist to me anymore and im not sure #the one before 19 existed either its all fractured #is that trauma?? or is it something else. does that make me endogenic to you?? i really dont know or understand #you can decide for yourself. but im not comfortable saying either way. #i barely feel comfortable existing. i dont exist? as i type this 'i' is wrong but nothing else fits so far #we could go for we and we have befkre bht so far its so nonexistent whats the opposite of i #nothing...? [ ] #some blank. the dilemma is that nothing is real. #these tags are not. genuinly i am fake. #this will get published sometime in a haze and this body will wake up to a disaster. #not enough bridges burned i guess. sure. #back 2 sleep dont send me asks abt this jst block if ur gonna block

[yardsards]

i headcanon that lake likes warmth but they don't naturally produce much body heat on their own

so sometimes jesse will wear a jacket for a couple minutes to warm it up before giving it to them to wear

#eliot posts #intr #infinity train #infinity train book 2 #jesse cosay #lake infinity train #jesslake #queerplatonic jesslake #my parents' house used to get HELLA COLD on winter mornings #so the trick was to get your outfit ready and when the alarm rang‚ hit the snooze button‚ grab the clothes #and pull them under the covers with you while you go back to sleep for 10 minutes #so they'd be warmed up from body heat when it was time to ACTUALLY get ready #bc otherwise you'd have to put on freezing cold jeans on a winter morning and that was just the WORST #i have no reasoning to back up the first part of this headcanon #for all i know lake could be strangely warm like kez canonically is

[disdaidal]

I do love that I'm both freezing and having the worst back pains.

But at least I still have a roof above my head, right?

#personal #so here's the thing: #i don't think any of the radiators in my apartment are currently working #which kind of sucks bc it's winter in northern europe lmao #one of them had blown a fuse. which i changed yesterday. and now it's cold again. so there's definitely something wrong with it #two of them. which are located in my bedroom/living room combination. have red lights on #but they are both cold and not heating up my apartment. which means i'm freezing here #so it could be a thermostat or something. i don't know #but because my place was a mess. after having worked for a few months and not having energy to do anything else #i had to clean up here yesterday. because i couldn't call my landlord who lives closeby in case he decided to drop in and see #the mess i was living in. to you know. check on those radiators #so anyway. my apartment is pretty okay now. stuff i still need to clean though but it's mostly minor #but i seem to have strained my lower back doing it. or from sleeping in an awkward position because i was cold #the kind of pain i haven't experienced in months which must be a record for me now #but yeah now my lower back hurts. i can't properly crouch or even twist my body to the side without my knees trying to give out #and i've already taken painkillers for it today. which kind of put me to sleep again and had a lovely little nap a while ago #but this is bothersome #i hope my back feels better by tomorrow so i can finish my cleaning and then message my landlord #because i don't want to freeze here anymore xD and i also don't want my houseplants dying because of it so

[cptnbeefheart]

crazy eyes bc i got sick of having this ITYSL summer lovin’ skit painting on my floor. didn’t really finish it so much as i gave up but thats okay i think. happy new year more details in the tags :]

#my art #ok to rb #:d #used the ‘fuck an1sh kap00r vanta blk 3.0’ paint for the background #(its on a wood surface #i started this at the end of July (i think) right after the new season came out #id been really yearning to get back into acrylic painting again so i thought If i can finish this then that means im capable and also it #will get the scaries out by refamiliarizing myself w the medium #but basically it sat half finished on my floor until dec 27 when i was like you know what im sick of this i need it gone #anyway theres a lot of things i wish id finished on this but i think i just need to move on for my own sake perhaps ill revist it in the #future. I dont think ive ever shared a painting on here but i guess you could call this my style? i think it’s informed by doing mostly #digital painting and not really knowing how to blend. i like acrylics because they dry quickly. i like for my layers to be pretty visible #and shapey. #i think you should leave #itysl #i put it right next to my bed the two tims watch over my sleeping body now

[rosicheeks]

Hey can someone do me a solid and get me out of my fucking bed? You have permission to do whatever you need to. By any means necessary. Take my blankets off? Of course. Wanna throw some water on me? Go for it. Strangle me until I’m unconscious? Cool.

#idk how to get out of bed today #it’s almost 3pm #my back is killing me cause I’ve been in bed for so long #but the rest of my body is like nah #I have to clean and I really really don’t want to #(clean basically means throwing all my shit into boxes until I move cause there’s no where to put anything) #and apparently my parents want downstairs cleaned for the holidays so they can have people over #which cool I totally get #but why tell me now??? #couldn’t you have told me awhile ago??? #whatever #I’m sad #my head hurts now cause I think I’ve been sleeping too much #but no energy or motivation to do anything #shut up rosie

[rottenlittlefink]

When Harry the bear sliced through Fluttershy’s cutie mark… that shit hurted

#420 tag #apple sleep experiment #I’ve had an edible and this thing is hitting so much harder emotionally 🫠 #applejack put Fluttershy in a position where she had absolutely no choice but to kill her own animals in self defense #she used her own heartbreak to power through further defending herself #this entire thing is FUCKED and I love it!! #bleats #mlp grimdark #I also love how Fluttershy loves her animals to death like literally #even enough to blockade the door with her own BODY to keep them from getting back into the cottage #in order to protect them all from applejack #but she still recognizes that they are wild and dangerous animals despite her connection to them #and is always prepared to defend herself even if it means killing it??? #I admire that specifically because it’s Fluttershy