#i would probably feel bad for wanting to get hlep to get it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

popculturebuffet · 3 years

Text

Tex Avery Birthday Spectacular!

Hello all you happy people! And welcome to a celebration of the only cartoon director I knew as a kid and one of the finest whose ever lived, Mr. Tex Avery.

Avery is a legend in the animation industry and rightly so. Starting out at a few other studios, and loosing sight in one of his eyes due to some tomfoolery at one, Tex was annoyed with the restrctive enviorment and eventually found his way to Termite Terrace, the animated shorts wing of Leon Schislenger Productions, aka the future Warner Brothers Studios and the makers of Looney Tunes. And his impact on the franchise is vast, cannot be overstated and I only learned about just how much recently: The man created Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny, created the prototype for Elmer Fudd, and created the design for Porky we’re all far more familiar with.

Eventually though while he was happy there, his career when ended when he eventually got into a squabble with Leon schsinger over the ending of “The Heckling Hare” and left soon after. Given he got a four week unpaid suspension for it , a bit extreme given all he’d given the studio, I can’t blame him. He instead went over to MGM who badly needed his wacky energy, and thus got to go as nuts as he wanted, with creative control a better budget and the result was his peak and classic characters like Red and my personal faviorite and personal boy: Droopy. I will try and do a birthday thing for him next month, we’ll see if my rather packed schedule will allow for it. Point is I watched the guys cartoons a lot as a kid between looney tunes and his shorts being repacked for the Tex Avery show in the late 90′s, and until recently I had no idea the depth and scope of his career: The guy gave looney tunes it’s standard fourth walll breaking and made it a huge part of the industry, and he was the one to hlep htem break out of being a Disney knockoff and into what we know today. The guy has my utmost respect so today I honor him as the first animator to get one of my birthday specials: As is my standard ten shorts, my patreons get to pick one each (I now have two but she start’s next month so her benefits will too) if they so choose (Kev opted out of the porky pig one next week) and I went to my friend blah for a recomendation as he’s an avid fan of the golden age of animation and thus usually has a really good choice up his sleeve. Now that’s out of hte way join me under the cut for some shenanigans as old tex would want it that way.

1. The Gold Diggers of 49 (1935)

This was Tex Avery’s first short with warner and the first of his I could find, not ot mention his first time working with Chuck Jones and Bob Clampett, who he’d mentor and go on to be the heart and soul of Looney Tunes and define the characters Tex created. And since this is more significant than his earlier work i’m coutning it as his first. And as a start it’s.. ehhhhhhh.

I don’t blame him for it though. Most don’t hit it out of hte park their first time up to bat, and frankly the deck was stacked against him. He was saddled with Beans the Cat...

No one brak no one. He was part of an attempt by warner to create a new star as part of a Little Rascals/Our Gang style group of kids debuting in the short “I Haven’t Got a Hat”. This short is notable not for Beans, who no one cares about, but for the debut of Looney Tunes first star: Porky Pig. Porky was just one of the various characters but the only one audiences really liked. It took some time for Warner to get the hint though, hence Beans starring here and Porky playing his girlfriend’s father.. and also now being much older than him for some reason.

So instead of being a Little Rascals ripoff bean is now a mickey mouse ripoff, as the short gives me mickey mouse vibes.. but without the things that made those shorts actually good and feels mostly built on studios trying to make what they think audiences will like. There’s sparks of waht Tex would become.. but just not enough wiggle room for him to make something special. Also porky looks and sounds weird in this one and Bean’s girlfriend has a REALLY annoying voice. Oh and two horrible Asian stereotypes, because it was acceptable at the time but lord was it never okay. Then again I should be at least mildly greatful none of the shorts had blackface.. because tex apparently REALLY had a problem with that, something I obviously didn’t know as a kid as they edited it out but given most of his MGM shorts have “blackface edited out of x version”, yeahhh.... I may like the guy, quite a bit and feel those gags weren’t done out of malice.. but it dosen’t make them okay, they were never okay and he should’ve done better.

2. I Love to Singa (1936) Thankfully our next entry is 800% better, as we get a classic from my childhood and probably multiple childhoods. Admittedly part of the reason this one stuck in my head is the title song, sung by a young jazz singing owl whose dad doesn’t like that he sings Jazz instead of classical, enters a contest and nearly looses singing classical to please his dad only for his dad to intervene and finally accept his son. It’s a wonderful story of acceptance with some decent gags, beautiful animation and one hell of a title track that will probably never leave my head. The song is really what makes this short and sometimes that’s okay. Also just to note so someone else doesn’t: This short was a parody of the Jazz Singer one of the first talkie’s.. and also a film that uses blackface and whose 80′s remake bafflingly also uses blackface for some reason. Yes really.

3. Tortoise Beats Hare (1941)

One of Tex’s only four Bugs Shorts.. but given 3/4 of them are certified classics, and one of them involving a horrible stereotype.. to the point it’s part of the rightfully infamous “Censored 11″ and the ONLY one involving Bugs Bunny.

So as I said, Tex has a bad history with casual racism, and while it was the style at the time and I don’t THINK he was actively malicious towards black people.. it doesn’t make some of his work any less harmful. The rest of his bugs work though is remembered for the right reasons: his first appearance, and early classic we’ll get to next.. and this standout everyone who saw it as a kid or an adult fondly remembers.

You all know the premise: Bugs finds out, in an utterly brilliant wall shattering bit at the start where he reads off the crew names and then the title, that this picture will have him beaten by a turtle and taking offense to that challenges the guy. This is honestly one of the few Bugs shorts where he’s the out and out villain of the picture. He’s doing this race purely out of ego, yells at Cecil whose perfectly nice in this one, and in general is the bully set up for a fall he’d later be famous for taking on. But it works, both because this si early in bugs career so it’s entirely in character, and because Mel just really sells the obnoxiousness while still being funny.

This short also has one of Tex’s trademark setups as this is essentially a prototypical droopy cartoon: A meek, goofy voiced protagonist whose shorter than his large obnoxious enemy and who torments him by showing up every where he’s going to be and casually doing it. Cecil even does so using an army of fellow turtles with Droopy later using a similar trick in one of his shorts. As a big Droopy fan i’m clearly not complaining and while Droopy would do it better, this short’s still a classic for a reason with tons of great bits and is a fun break from the usual bugs setup, though in full fairness the usual bugs setup is still solid gold so take that how you will.

4. The Heckling Hare (1941)

Originally I was going to have Daffy in Hollywood in this spot as I thought it was on Max, it was not, so I swapped it out with his final bugs cartoon. For the record his first, and Bugs, is being saved for Bugs birthday this summer. And honestly i’m glad I did because this was 7 mintues of pure joy that has another setup that Tex himself and other Looney Tunes animators would resuuse: Bugs being pitted up against a far dumber antagonist. One who often still fully deserves it but allows him to just have fun for several minutes at this dumb bastard’s expense. It works well here, with tons of clever gags, my faviorite being the two doing dumb faces with each other only for bugs to stop and pull out a sign as seen right above.

It’s also an approriate capper to our warner made Tex shorts for the day, as this would be the one that got him fired. He and Schisnger argued over it and he got suspended as I mentioned and I found it again a bit fucking extreme. So did Tex and after a handful of shorts elsewhere, he’d move over to MGM, whose cartoons would ironically be bought up by warner. They needed a shot in the arm to compete with Disney and Warner and Tex was happy to provide hte needle filled with nonsense. And the results.. are pure gold.

5. Dumb Hounded (1943)

I’ll admit as a kid I didn’t know Tex’s MGM shorts were theatrical, or any shorts but somehow I knew they weren’t looney tunes. Besidds obviously having hteir own show they just had their own tone and pacing and style. While the Looney Tunes aren’t bad, at all honestly, Tex’s work here was in a class by itself with MGM gladly giving him a higher budget and even more creative freedom. And the results speak for themselves and one of those results is one of if not my faviorite classic cartoon character. And since I might not be able to get to his birthday with one of these next month, though i’m certainly going to try march is just VERY VERY FULL. Anyways point is our happy hero was introduced here. And given i’m frequently depressed and often withdrawn, not that you could tell from my reviews here, I related to this depressed bulldog who always won anyway despite being an outsider, finding love, sucess and always beating a much larger, much more assholish antagonist. But Droopy is good on his own merits as his shorts are just that funny.

This was true from Day One as dumb hounded is fucking perfect: The Wolf that Avery always used in his cartoons escapes from jail and is hunted by bloodhounds including our boy, who charmingly introduces himself with “You know what, i’m the hero”. From there it’s a simple setup but a great one as Droopy finds the guy.. then chases him from here to enternity with one amazing gag after another. Simple, utterly hilarious and the dawn of a legend, with the ending having Droopy go a bit nuts after getting his reward money before returning to his usual demeanor “You know what? I’m happy” So am I bud, so am I.

6. Red Hot Riding Hood (1943)

Yup same year. Tex hit the ground sprinting. This one is his signature MGM toon and for good reason. Using his usual forth wall breaking style, both the wolf and red riding hood rebel when it opens with a typical telling, so it changes to a 40′s nightlife setting: Grandma lives in a penthouse and is man hungry, Red is a fanservicey night club act and the Wolf is a sexually harassing asshole who chases after here and has some over the top reactions to her that are iconic in some’s mind.

The short is gorgeously animated with Red’s dance sequence and Wolfie’s reactions being the highlight and the short isn’t as bad as it could be as the wolf is treated as a scumbag for hitting on her and generally being a creep. SO the first two thirds aren’t bad with nice touches like the narrator clearly improvising the new story. It’s just badly hampered by the last half where Grandma sexually harasses Wolfie and it just doesn’t work. This double standard stuff annoys me and “haha get it it’s funny when a woman stalks a man” isn’t funny. Wolfie stalking her really isn’t that funny either it’s just not you know an entire third of the film. So a classic for a reason.. but one that really has degraded with time. Still worth analyzing and what not, just not great.

7. Who Killed Who? (1943)

Yes still. It was a good year. This is another one off like Red Hot Riding Hood and as is tradition since the Tom and Jerry one, my patreons each get to pick one and Kev selected this one. And this.. was a great choice.

Seriously I could not stop laughing with a great gag a minute, WAY too many to mention, a classic ending, and just nothing but net the whole time. I don’t have much to say really.. but because this one’s just good. The whodunnit genre hasn’t really gone away, it’s cliches are welll known even today and this is a lovely parody of it that hits the ground running after a live action intro and runs right through the wall across a lake and straight into droopy “You moved.”.

The only real observation I have other than “This is fucking awesome watch it immediately” is that the villian looks exactly like the Phantom Blot. Who knew the Phantom Blot was a live action guy with a weird haircut the whole time huh? Seriously this one is a masterpiece, an instant faviorite, and I highly recommend it.

8. Screwball Squirrel (1944)

As you can probably guess by how I lead it in this one is not very good. It is tex TRYING to make a bugs or daffy type character again and somehow failing at it. He created them, he did plenty of shorts like theirs with other characters and got how the cat and mouse antics of the old theatrical shorts worked.. so I have no idea how this one happened.

I’m really not overselling it: The short is about Screwy, who hyjacks it from a cute widdle bunny clearly parodying bambi.. who he beats the shit out of, then decides to get things going asks a dumb dog to hunt him, then insults him to provoke him to attacking him. He then spends the entire short tormenting the poor dumb bastard who again HE PROVOKED. It feels like a poor imitation of dumb hounded, as while Bugs clearly outclassed the dog there, he’d die if he lost, so while he was punching down, he clearly didn’t have a choice and you can’t honestly blame him. Here, Screwy is fine, he just wants someone’s head to fuck with and spends a whole short torturing him. We don’t even get catarsis as while the dog does catch him at the end via weird gag, they end up deciding to beat up the bunny instead.

His voice is also just the worst, just utterly grating and making me wish an anvil woudl fall on HIM instead. Screwy would return for some other shorts but I have no idea why. This was easily the weakest of these ten shorts and I will probably not return to the guy next year.

9. Bad Luck Blackie (1949)

This is one i’d forgotten till I got a ways in. It’s also weirdly one of the only MGM Tex shorts on HBO Max as this was included in the Tom and Jerry collection for some reason, the dog in it clearly isn’t the tom and Jerry verison of spike... though the dog Droopy fought a lot was indeed called spike. Yes that is confusing, no I don’t know why MGM thought this was a good idea.

As a result though I have been saving giving out about this till now but seirously , put the tex avery shorts on HBO Max. Their on Blu-Ray, their on boomerang, especially Droopys. I do not get why they aren’t on here. I’m tired of them holding things out for the boomerang app when not everyone subscirbes to that. Let me have my morose dog dammit.

That giving out aside i’m glad this one caught my eye via i’ts weird name as it’s another masterpiece. It also does what one Tom and Jerry short I reviewed, the one where tom’s a millionare, earlier this month failed to: properly make it’s antagonist loathsome enough to deserve the parade of abuse he gets. With that one Tom is tourturning jerry for like 30 seconds, but Jerry torments him for most of 5 minutes.

Here we get about two minutes of our lead kitten getting torremnted by a mean bulldog. It’s not only still a bit entertaining to lessen the horror just enough to be watchable but not enough to make the bulldog likeable, but it makes what happens for the rest of the short oh so fucking satsifying. While the previous short today really didn’t get the karmic ballance neded for a good classic screwball comedy short this one overwhelmingly does.

Our kitten gets some help in the form of Blackie, a professional black cat who agrees to turn the tables, sauntring across to a wonderfully catchy tune. any time the little guy whistles. The result from there is 5-6 nonstop minutes of comedy genius, as Tex finds new and creative ways for the cat to come out of nowhere, and even shakes things up to keep it intresting towards the end iwth the dog getting the whistle.. only for it to still not work out, and for our little kitten to get his revenge at last by painting himself black after the bulldog paints blackie white. As should be obvious by now, it’s really good, showing Screwball Squirrel was the exception not the rule. In general Tex was this good during his mgm and when he was at his peak we got gems like this. Truly sensational, watch it if you have max it’s under the tom and jerry section for some reason.

10. T.V. of Tommorow A decent one I remember seeing as a kid. Not much to say though, it’s mostly a bunch of gags about “future” tv’s based on their viewer’s needs. Some good stuff.. not as good as most of what was here today but still better than the worst of it and still very memorable and part of a memorable tetralogy i’ll probably come back to when I do Tex’s birthday again next year. Not a bad note to end on though.

Overall these shorts show just how strong a creator tex was, gleefully taking convention and ripping it to tiny pieces. As i’ve mentioned many times i’ll be coming back to his work next year.. and probably be watching a hell ofa lot more in the time between. Might even do a second special on him in between birthday ones. We’ll see how this does. The Tom and Jerry one sadly wasn’t quite the hit I hoped.

Until then I have many other reviews. And since Today (This review is late) was supposed to be the 90′s tom and jerry movie but that turned out not to be on Max for some reason. I still plan to cover it some day i’ll just have to find it and buy it first. But tommorow if I have the time i’ll be continuing the Lena retrospective with an intresting little side trip. So until then, i’ts been a pleasure and you know what? Thanks for reading.

#tex avery #droopy #bugs bunny #porky pig #the gold diggers of 49 #cecil turtle #tortoise beats hare #the heckling hare #tv of tommorow #dumb hounded #red hot riding hood #who killed who #red #spike #bad luck blackie #screwy squirrel #screwball squirrel #owl jolson #I love to singa

27 notes · View notes

ilovemygaydad · 5 years

Text

Friends in Dark Places [ch 7]

pairing: eventual moxiety, eventual logince, background eventual remile, background eventual remy/emile/deceit

WARNINGS: blood, self harm, panic attacks, crying, poor coping mechanisms, mentions of sensory overload, intrusive thoughts, self doubt, self hatred, possibly something else

tag list: @hufflepuffgirl01 @cocobearthe4th @cas-is-a-hunter@band-be-boss-blog @theunoriginaldaisy

a/n: so i have to repost all of these in a different format! yay fucking me!!!! please consider reblogging these if you’re a fan of this series because it’s all fucked up now

first - previous - next - companions

consider buying me a coffee (please)

Before he piled into the back of the car, Virgil took his headphones out of his bag and slid them over his ears. He didn’t need a sensory overload at 7:30 in the morning just because the Disney Prince didn’t have any volume control. Like, at all.

“Wow, Roman! I like the new look! The bomber jacket really makes the whole thing work,” Patton squealed. Roman turned in his seat to look back at Pat, and Virgil could see what he meant. Instead of his usual bare face, he’d put on gold shimmery eyeshadow and red lipstick. Virgil hated to admit it, but he looked really good.

A few minutes into the ride, Virgil felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned to Patton, who was obviously the giver of the “pat,” with raised eyebrows.

Are you okay? Patton mouthed, tapping his ears to simulate headphones.

Yeah. No need to be overstimulated so early. Virgil mouthed back with a gesture to Roman, who was still singing along to various Disney songs. Patton just nodded and went back to conversing--er, trying to converse with Logan.

The car arrived at Westview High at exactly 7:45, giving each of the students plenty of time to do what they needed before class started at eight. Patton and Virgil went to the office together to drop off their absence notes, then parted ways to go to their lockers.

Virgil walked the whole twenty feet trek to his locker to drop off his backpack and grab his Graphic Arts portfolio and pencil case. He shoved his phone into his hoodie pocket and turned up the volume on his playlist, blasting Green Day as he walked to the opposite end of the school for his first block class.

The dark-clad teenager had hoped he would fly under the radar, but the instant he walked into the graphic arts room, his teacher ambushed him.

“Virgil! I got your email, but what landed you in the hospital for three days?” Mrs. Miller asked. Virgil nearly dropped his binder due to the pure shock of being spoken to so suddenly. He ripped off his headphones and put a hand to his chest.

“First of all, don’t jump out like that,” he said as he made sure all of his bandages were hidden under his sleeves. “Second… I, uh… had a, uh, really bad… allergy… attack. Like, hives all over my body and face. I had to get allergy testing and stuff, and I was on constant antihistamines for, like, three days.” The story was definitely not very believable, and Virgil could see in Mrs. Miller’s eyes that she didn’t believe him at all.

“Sure. Anyway, we’re going to be working on banners or helping clean the lab. You can choose either since I know you’re probably almost done with your banner. Or you are done, which wouldn’t be surprising.” Virgil nodded and headed to the back, tying one of the ink-covered aprons around his waist and began to spray solvent onto one of the many barely-used rags from the discard. He muttered under his breath about how the other students needed to learn that rags were meant to be absolutely filthy when they were discarded, but he ultimately let it go.

Virgil slipped his headphones on and cleaned three screens and a few pallet knives in a blissful bubble of music. His cathartic cleaning session, however, came to a quick end when he had cleaned everything in the shop in just under an hour. With a whole twenty-five minutes left. It wouldn’t be as much of a problem if he wasn’t mostly finished with his project.

Without any surprise, it took him only five minutes to put finishing touches on his banner. He sighed and sent it to the color printer. Might as well turn it in if he’s done, right? Virgil trudged to the printer and took out the streaky mess. The printer, just to his luck, had been having problems with colored bars randomly showing up on people’s prints, and his was not the exception. As well, it all happened right in the part with the smaller, thin lettering that named the bands.

“Hey, Mrs. Miller. Can I just send you a PDF of the banner? The printer chewed up my design and spat it back out.” Virgil asked as he walked to his teacher’s office door and leaned on the door frame. She took a look at the paper he was holding up and sighed.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I just called IT yesterday and had them fix the printer. That thing is a disaster.” Mrs. Miller shook her head and waved Virgil over. “Let me see your design.”

Virgil hesitated but stepped forward, dropping the paper on her desk. He tugged his hands into his sleeves as his teacher scrutinized the paper. With a heavy sigh, Mrs. Miller set it back on her desk.

“It’s pretty plain, Virgil. Like, it certainly meets all of the criteria for the project, and is definitely good enough to be a perfect grade, but... Virgil, what happened to your amazing designs? This is… bland. Pretty--don’t get me wrong--but bland.” The teen felt the blood rush from his body in one fell swoop. He hadn’t wanted to let her down! He had just thought that it fit the aesthetic of the festival better. But at the same time, he thought back to his past few designs, and the results were disappointing at best. She was right. They were bad.

“I… I’m sorry. You’re right; it sucks.. I’ll go redesign it. Just--yeah.” Virgil swung around and made a motion to leave when Mrs. Miller called after him. He stopped in his tracks but didn’t turn around.

“Virgil. It’s fine. I don’t want you to get upset about it. I’m just saying that you haven’t been acting like yourself recently, and it shows in your work. Art is full of emotion, so when the artist feels down, the art reflects that.” Virgil could feel her eyes burning into the back of his head, feeding him with self-doubt and fear. He had wanted to hide his feelings better--it was his responsibility to hide everything away inside of himself. Feelings hurt others, and if he had to suffer to keep others safe, then that’s what he had to do. An icy chill shot through his veins at the same time as hot fire. He needed out.

He curtly nodded and walked out of the office. As he sat down in his chair, he took out his phone to text Patton, but realized he hadn’t asked for his number. That just added to his anxiety--how would he be able to meet up with Pat and the others after school to get a ride home? The panic began to rise up his chest until he couldn’t bear it anymore. With all of the false calm he could muster, Virgil asked Mrs. Miller if he could to go to the bathroom, to which she obviously said yes.

His footsteps pounded down the hallway as he ran, even though the nearest bathroom was just a few yards away. Virgil slammed the stall door shut, sliding to the floor with a sob. This wasn’t supposed to be difficult. He had a friend now, and he was so sweet and kind and caring. Not to mention he was living with said friend and his equally-as-nice family, who gave him a really wonderful room and fed him and took care of him. They even fucking committed insurance fraud for him even though they knew nothing about him.

Virgil rolled up his sleeve and began to harshly scratch his forearm where there were no bandages. He needed to relieve the icy hot pain he felt. He needed it out of his body. His mind was racing, going to conclusions that didn’t even make sense, until he lost track of time. The bell for the next period might have rang, but he had no idea. Looking down at his arm, Virgil realized that his long nails had dragged shallow, bloody cuts into his skin.

It made him feel like a failure. He’d made it, what, all of five days without self harm just to break it over a stupid banner design that he was going to get a good grade on anyway!

His shaky hands dug the phone out of his pocket and turned it on. Patton… What the hell is his name?! Patton… Patton Shea! That was his name. Virgil shakily typed out Pat’s name into the google search bar and scrolled through the results, trying to find any of Patton’s social media. He clicked on the fifth link and practically cried with relief at the discovery of Patton’s Instagram. It’d been updated… Yesterday. Good. He used it often, then. And, by the look of it, he replied almost immediately to comments, so he probably had notifications on. Virgil opened the account in the Instagram app, typing out a sloppy DM through his tears.

vintage-misery to patton-cake24 [Read at 9:15 am]

pat i ‘m in t he ba t hroom by teh grph cs romo i’m havnig a panic attackk hlep vriigl

patton-cake24 to vintage-misery [Delivered at 9:15 am]

It’s okay, Virge. I’ll be there in a few minutes, just hang tight, and I’m gonna help you. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.

Virgil let his phone slip out of his hand, attempting to marginally calm himself down before Patton arrived. It didn’t really work, and before long, a set of footsteps echoed off of the tile walls of the bathroom.

“Virge? You in here? It’s just me, kiddo. Everything’s okay.” Patton’s voice was hesitant, clearly unsure if he was in the right place. Virgil reached up and unlocked the stall door to let Pat in. “Oh thank goodness.”

Tears immediately began to roll down Virgil’s face again. “I-I’m sorry. IreallyfuckedupandIcouldn’tevenmakeitaweekwithouthurtingmyselfI’msuchafuckingfailurePattonwhatdoIdo?” Patton closed the stall door and kneeled in front of his panicking friend.

“Hey, it’s okay. Any recovery comes with relapse, okay? You’re not a failure; you’re just healing.” Pat’s voice was soft and soothing. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

Virgil nodded, and Patton took his hands from his face, gently holding them in his own. “What is your name?”

“I--what?” the crying teenager asked.

“What’s your name?” Patton repeated.

“V-Virgil.”

“Good. Now, what color is your sweatshirt?”

“Grey.”

“Awesome. You’re doing great. Do I wear glasses?”

“Y-yeah. You do.”

“Good. Really good. Now follow my counting. Four beats in, seven beats holding your breath, eight beats out. One, two…”

It only took a few minutes to get Virgil back to a stable state through breathing exercises and rhythmic hand squeezes. Patton had a big smile on his face.

“That was so good, kiddo! I’m really proud of you,” Patton encouraged. The sound of the bell dully rang through the bathroom, and Virgil rushed to stand up. Pat forced him back down.

“I know I just said that was good, but you definitely aren’t in any sort of condition to be rushing around in crowded hallways yet. We’re going to stay right here and make sure you’re a-okay before we leave. I’m going to get you a pass to your next class, okay? I’ll be right back--don’t move.” Patton released his grip on Virgil’s hands and stood up, swiftly striding out of the bathroom. He returned only a minute later with two yellow slips, Virgil’s graphics supplies, and a few tissues. Pat gently wiped the tears away from his friend’s face, making sure not to smear any of the makeup under his eyes.

“Patton…” Virgil didn’t have the words to say what he was feeling. He was sorry for dragging Pat into this mess, but even more sorry for failing to not harm himself for even an entire week.

“Hey, it’s okay. Now, let me see where you’re hurt so it doesn’t get any worse,” Patton ordered, though it was more caring than harsh. Virgil held his left arm out and rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie. The skin just below his elbow had flakes of dry blood on it, following the scrapes that he’d formed. Patton took a roll of gauze he’d taken from the Child Guidance room and wrapped it around the wounds. The gauze wouldn’t exactly help heal anything, but it would prevent unnecessary pain from the sweatshirt rubbing over it.

Once he was done, Patton sat down beside Virgil. “Do you think you could tell me what made you feel so anxious? It’s okay if you can’t, but it’ll help if we know what to avoid in the future.”

“Okay, well,” Virgil groaned, dropping his head in his hands. “God, this is so stupid. I shouldn’t have even panicked about it, but my graphics teacher is really nice and stuff, and she likes my work. So, naturally, she starts to notice that my designs are becoming less me and are more boring. Like, still good enough, but just without the usual feeling in them. And this has been going on for a while, pretty much ever since March when I started to get extremely depressed and anxious. And today I gave her my latest design for a project we were doing, and she told me that it was uninspired and boring, which it was but that’s not the point, and she wasn’t impressed with my work anymore, and it just started to get into my skin that she knew that I was super depressed, and that now it was a big deal. I felt like a giant failure for my designs being lame and I just--It’s stupid. Never mind.” The teen leaned forward to rest his head on his knees. He felt so tired.

Patton spoke up after a moment. “No feelings are stupid, kiddo. I’m sure it was really hard on you to hear what your teacher said, but she obviously just cares about you. Just like I care, hon. Next project, you’re just going to have to channel your emotions into whatever you’re making, and I’m sure it’ll turn out amazing. You’re not a failure in anyone’s eyes. Especially not mine.” Virgil felt his friend’s arms slither around his waist for an awkward hug. A little smile crept on his face from the very Patton gesture.

They sat in the bathroom stall for another couple of minutes before they decided they were good enough to get back to class.

“Give me your phone so you won’t have to find my Instagram again,” Pat said and held his hand out for the phone. Patton quickly typed his number in, sending a text to himself.

Virgil

Delivered at 8:35 am

hey

Patton

Read at 8:35 am

Hey Virge!

Virgil

Delivered at 8:35 am

patton was that really necessary to reply to your own text to yourself

Patton

Read at 8:36 am

It sure was!!!! Let’s get back to class!! :P

Virgil rolled his eyes and slipped his phone back into his pocket. The pair walked out of the bathroom and went their separate ways.

#sanders sides fic #moxiety #logince #m writes things #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders

14 notes · View notes

kae-karo · 5 years

Text

welp seems i have been tagged by several lovelies and i love procrastinating so thanks to @misguideddgh0st and @americanphancakes and @hey-itsnxel for enabling me lmao

rules: answer 21 questions about yourself and tag 21 people whom you want to get to know better :)

nickname/pet name: i mean technically katie is a nickname but like i’ve also been called kk and kit kat like when i was smol

zodiac: gemini can u tell lmao

height: 5ft 5in

last movie: bandersnatch? i guess?

last thing googled: linguistics basics bc @uselessphillie is peer pressuring me into being a linguist (no but actually i would love to learn more abt linguistics so that’s why)

fave musician: marianas trench hands down i’m going to another state to see them bc they aren’t coming to texas (henlo @thereisnobearonthisisland @philsroots and @uselessphillie especially whomst will be letting me stay with her)

song stuck in my head: i always wanna die (sometimes) bc i’ve been listening to the 1975′s album on repeat lmao rip

other blogs: oh god. oh god do y’all even really want to know? i have a bunch of dead blogs n urls but i run @stellarlovely which i haven’t queued stuff up for in a couple weeks and also @nouvelleplanet which i sometimes rb stuff to and then a few secret blogs

do I get asks: sned hlep

following: 85

dream trip: an around-the-world trip bc i’m way too indecisive to just go one place i want to go everywhere

amount of sleep: anywhere between 8 and 10hr depending on how i’m feeling, i’ve been known to sleep for 12hr and still be tired and also sleep for 5hr and run on that + massive amounts of coffee for an entire ten day trip so

lucky number: 4 which has some weird connotations for me as well but it’s always been 4

what I’m wearing: my massively oversized eclipse sweatshirt and some old black sweatpants i’m going for ‘comfy dannie’ apparently

dream job: author ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

fave food: idk literally anything that tastes good i have a weird relationship with food

play any instruments: i dabble in piano but not like dan does like i genuinely can maybe pick out a few tunes nothing mellifluous or anything

languages: english ofc which is my main language and i have like rudimentary skills in spanish from high school and like. i could probably decipher written french enough to get the meaning. i’m also conversationally fluent in sign language

fave songs: okay 3 categories here -

general songs: warmth by bastille, kissaphobic by make out monday, have it all by jason mraz, i like me better by lauv but the spotify studio version, figure me out by the summer set, looking up by safetysuit, please don’t go by joel adams, dark purple sky by there for tomorrow, sleeping with a friend by neon trees now that i know it’s gay

songs by my fave artists:

marianas trench: i knew you when, astoria, end of an era, so it goes, good to you, fallout, lover dearest, perfect, so soon, all to myself, by now, ever after, who do you love, this means war, wildfire

the maine: (un)lost, i must be dreaming, taxi, how do you feel?, the sound of reverie, diet soda society, bad behavior (the acoustic version)

phan songs bc i’m trash: say you won’t let go by james arthur, stray italian greyhound by vienna teng, can’t sleep love by pentatonix, turn by the wombats, mine by the 1975, something i need by onerepublic, duo by ben rector, wasn’t expecting that by jamie lawson

random fact: my hair grows like really fast? idk man i don’t even know what counts as a random fact or like what y’all care about lmao. ask me anything idc

describe yourself as aesthetic things: the glint of water off the ocean, a cool breeze blowing through trees in the middle of summer, cool grass between toes, super fuzzy blankets and giant comforters, a soft oversized sweater, a wisp of steam drifting up from a warm mug, stars in the night sky over mountains, a flicker of flame from a candle, the soft sound of rain outside a window (okay basically this just turned into aesthetic things i like)

also for tagging, y’all know i don’t tag people so anyone who sees this and wants to do it, consider this me tagging you! @ mention me so i can see if y’all do it :)

#kt #about me

13 notes · View notes

cutepresea · 4 years

Text

4-4 A Light That Pierces the Clouds: A World Without Sunshine

Sorry again for the spam.

If you want to blacklist these, you can use either the tag #a light that pierces the clouds for just this event, or #xdu event scripts or #xdu scripts

Reminder that these are copied straight from XD Unlimited itself, so any grammatical weirdness, mistranslations, and/or mischaracterizations are not my doing.

Genjuro Kazanari: "Well? Did you get anything out of Hibiki-kun?"

Maria: "No, nothing."

Maria: "We tried to get in contact several more times, but she barely spared a word for us."

Maria: "We can't have a conversation, let alone ask questions. I'm honestly not sure what to do."

Chris Yukine: "Seriously, what's her deal? Is she really the same person?"

Genjuro Kazanari: "I'm sorry."

Chris Yukine: "Nah, you don't gotta apologize, old man."

Maria: "I don't suppose you know why she might be acting this stubborn?"

Genjuro Kazanari: "Well..."

Maria: "If there's anything you know, would you mind telling us?"

Genjuro Kazanari: "......"

Maria: "I realize it may be difficult to talk about, but we need all the help we can get at this point."

Maria: "If we can't get her to talk to us, then we're at a complete impasse."

Genjuro Kazanari: "All right. I'll tell you all I'm authorized to."

Chris Yukine: "So you do know something then."

Genjuro Kazanari: "She has a troubled past. She hasn't been willing to trust anyone after what she went through."

Genjuro Kazanari: "We tried to reach out and support her several times, but unfortunately, she wouldn't hear us out."

Genjuro Kazanari: "Whether fighting Noise is a hobby or a mission for her, I can't say, but she always shows up to fight."

Maria: "You mentioned a troubled past?"

Genjuro Kazanari: "She survived a certain incident..."

Maria: "You mean the Zwei Wing concert? When the Noise attacked during Tsubasa and Kanade Amo's performance?"

Genjuro Kazanari: "So you've heard of it. That'll make this simpler then."

Genjuro Kazanari: "She was subjected to baseless slander and blame by the victims' families because of the fact she survived."

Genjuro Kazanari: "She had nobody but her own family. And yet, she was even mistreated by the one place she could call home."

Genjuro Kazanari: "That must have hurt her in ways I can't imagine. But since we weren't involved, we'll never really know."

Chris Yukine: "Whoa. Back up real quick, old man."

Genjuro Kazanari: "Hm?"

Chris Yukine: "You just said she had nobody but her family. But what about her friend?"

Genjuro Kazanari: "Friend? Who are you talking about?"

Maria: "Miku Kohinata."

Genjuro Kazanari: "Kohinata? Hmm... I heard she didn't have anyone she was close to."

Chris Yukine: "What the?"

Chris Yukine: "What the hell's going on here?"

Maria: "Either way, she's apparently not Hibiki Tachibana's friend here."

Chris Yukine: "Well then where is she? She's always tagging along with that moron."

Maria: "I'm not sure. We can't be sure if she's alive somewhere else or already dead... or whether she even existed."

Chris Yukine: "Hey, don't say creepy stuff like that."

Maria: "At any rate, that's not what's important right now."

Maria: "We at least now have a grasp of Hibiki's situation and background in this world."

Maria: "Moreover, we need her to tell us about the Noise she encountered."

Chris Yukine: "Regardless of how she feels about it?"

Maria: "That's not what I'm saying. But our priorities have shifted a bit."

Chris Yukine: "Rgh! More Noise?!"

Maria: "Maybe she'll come to fight them. It'll be a chance to make contact."

Chris Yukine: "It's not like we could just ignore the Noise, anyway."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "Do you two mind helping me out?"

Maria: "Sure. What's the situation?"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "They're still evacuating the nearby civilians. We can't let the Noise make their way any further into town."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "I really need backup, so it'd be a big help."

Chris Yukine: "Forget backup, it looks like she's come to stick her nose into things."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "Tachibana, huh?"

Hibiki Tachibana: "......"

Sakuya Fujitaka: "Noise signals have gone dark."

Aoi Tomosato: "No serious damage taken by the wielders, either."

Genjuro Kazanari: "Having reinforcements from a parallel world is proving to be a big help."

Genjuro Kazanari: "Too bad we can't ask them to stick around permanently."

Sakuya Fujitaka: "C-Commander! We're getting new Noise signals!"

Aoi Tomosato: "Wait... If the signal is this big--!"

Genjuro Kazanari: "Could it be the thing from the other day?!"

Chris Yukine: "I think that mostly does it."

Maria: "Yes. Now we can finally have some time to talk to her."

Hibiki Tachibana: "......"

Genjuro Kazanari: "Watch out! There's a powerful Noise signal near your position! It's very likely the one from the other day!"

Maria: "Well, looks like we don't need to ask her for details anymore."

Chris Yukine: "Yeah. Guess this thing exists in this world too, huh?"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "What's with that Noise? Why does it look like that?"

Maria: "That's a Karma Noise. It's no ordinary foe, so be on your guard."

Hibiki Tachibana: "......"

Maria: (This signal... It must be the Noise she saw the other day.)

Chris Yukine: "Let's take it down quickly before it gets away!"

Maria: "I'm on it!"

Maria: "It's regenerating again?!"

Chris Yukine: "Dammit! This thing won't let up!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Rrraaaahhhh!"

Chris Yukine: "You idiot! Don't rush in without thinking!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Ahhh!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Huh?!"

Maria: "Yaaaagh!"

Maria: "Whew... I barely made it in time."

Chris Yukine: "Are you all right?!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Mind your own business!"

Chris Yukine: "What?!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Everyone looks out for themselves. Nobody ever helps me when I need it."

Chris Yukine: "What are you talking about?"

Maria: "Wait! The Karma Noise just..."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "It vanished."

Maria: "Maybe it's because people were evacuated from the surrounding area?"

Chris Yukine: "Dammit! We were so close, and now we have to start all over again."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Rgh!"

Miku Kohinata: "Nice weather today, huh?"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Yeah. It's a perfect day for ice cream."

Miku Kohinata: (She's looking a little better.)

Hibiki Tachibana: "I wonder what Chris-chan and Maria-san are up to right now."

Miku Kohinata: "You don't need to worry about them. Right now, you just need to focus on yourself, Hibiki."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Haha, sorry, sor-- Ugh!"

Miku Kohinata: "Hibiki?"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Urgh! Ah... Aaaaah!"

Miku Kohinata: "Hibiki?! What's wrong?! Hibiki!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Miku..."

Miku Kohinata: "Hibiki..."

Hibiki Tachibana: "I'm sorry... I'm putting you through so much stress."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Urgh!"

Miku Kohinata: "Don't push yourself, Hibiki! You shouldn't try to stand up yet."

Miku Kohinata: "Once you're feeling a little better, do you want to head home? Let's just take a moment to rest here, okay?"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Okay..."

Miku Kohinata: (Why is she getting so weak like this?)

Elfnein: "Miku-san, I have some news. Could you come to the control room?"

Miku Kohinata: "Sure."

Miku Kohinata: "Sorry, Hibiki. I'm just going to talk with the others real quick."

Hibiki Tachibana: "......"

Miku Kohinata: "I'll be right back. You just wait here, okay?"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "What's Tachibana's condition?"

Kirika Akatsuki: "How's she doing?!"

Elfnein: "We've run several medical tests over the last few days, but sadly, we still don't know what's causing it."

Miku Kohinata: "......"

Genjuro Kazanari: "Hibiki-kun's state of exhaustion is abnormal. It's safe to say that this probably isn't any normal illness."

Shirabe Tsukuyomi: "Do we have any ideas? Or even a tiny hint?"

Elfnein: "We don't know the cause, but her neural pulse is growing more and more erratic by the day."

Elfnein: "I believe her physical exhaustion is mainly in due to her mental state."

Miku Kohinata: "Her mental state?"

Elfnein: "Yes, that's right."

Elfnein: "You mentioned earlier that Hibiki-san had been having nightmares. Do you know what they were about?"

Miku Kohinata: "Well, I..."

Hibiki Tachibana: "It's a terrible, terrible nightmare."

Hibiki Tachibana: "I'm sealed away in the darkness, and there's nobody else around."

Hibiki Tachibana: "I'm suffering, and yet no one comes to help me."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Nobody to laugh with, no one to take my hand..."

Hibiki Tachibana: "It hurts so, so much deep inside. And at some point, I just started to accept it."

Hibiki Tachibana: "I'm scared."

Genjuro Kazanari: "Hibiki-kun was having nightmares that intense?"

Kirika Akatsuki: "That can't be right!"

Shirabe Tsukuyomi: "Yeah. Hibiki-san has all of our support."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "And yet something's going on. But what could it be?"

Genjuro Kazanari: "Why now?!"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "The Noise may aggravate Tachibana's condition. We're going, you two."

Kirika Akatsuki: "On it!"

Shirabe Tsukuyomi: "We need Hibiki-san to get her proper rest, after all."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "Kohinata, you stick by Tachibana's side."

Miku Kohinata: "Thank you, Tsubasa-san. You be careful too, Shirabe-chan, Kirika-chan."

Miku Kohinata: "Hibiki, I'm back."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Mi... Miku?"

Miku Kohinata: "Are you awake?"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Yeah. I thought I heard the alarm a little while ago."

Miku Kohinata: "It's okay. Tsubasa-san, Shirabe-chan, and Kirika-chan are handling it. You just relax."

Hibiki Tachibana: "i see..."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Ah... I'm hopeless. I want to go out there and fight to hlep people, but in my condition..."

Miku Kohinata: "Look, your mission now is to take it easy and rest. Don't you get any funny ideas."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Take it easy? You mean, just for now, right?"

Miku Kohinata: "Hibiki?"

Hibiki Tachibana: "What's going to happen to me? At this rate--"

Miku Kohinata: "Nothing's going to happen to you. I swear on it... I swear that I'll never let anything happen to you."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Miku..."

Miku Kohinata: "I told you, it'll be fine. Now get some rest."

Hibiki Tachibana: "...Sorry."

Miku Kohinata: (Why...)

Miku Kohinata: (Why does Hibiki have to suffer these awful nightmares?)

Miku Kohinata: (What's making her feel so alone?)

Miku Kohinata: (What can I do to ease her suffering?)

Miku Kohinata: (I don't know... I don't know what to do, Hibiki.)

#senki zesshou symphogear xd unlimited #symphogear xd unlimited #senki zesshou symphogear #symphogear #a light that pierces the clouds #xdu event scripts #xdu scripts

0 notes

howling--fantods · 7 years

Text

:///

my dad was supposed to be on a business trip for two weeks, perfect timing to have a major breakthrough realization about our relationship and his ability to change (long story short: he was always this way, it was just easier for him to love me unconditionally as a kid, and it turns out he was even disappointed in me when i was kid, he just isn’t honest about that stuff (which hurts bc when i was a kid, i thought he was the only one who wasn’t disappointed in me)) so yeah, the last couple days have been really hard. im working on my relationship with him in therapy (well, grieving the loss of the relationship i thought we had and accepting that he is not the dad i grew up loving) bc he won’t work on it and i don’t want to be angry at him forever. he is very passive and i have only been able to tell him how hurt i am once (in an incident where he felt like it was a good idea for some reason to essentially say that donald trump is a better person than bruce springsteen and i lost my fucking shit and yelled at him for shitting on the person who got me through the hardest times in my life when he (my dad) wasn’t there, didn’t even know i was going through it, he is so fucking oblivious and really doesnt know me at all when you get down to it but yeah... he apologized and felt really bad and wanted to know what i was going through and wanted to know how he could make things right, that he would do what he could to fix our relationship, and i asked him to go back to therapy (things were better when he was in therapy, his family was super abusive and he is a severely wounded person, he needs to be in therapy), and he said he couldnt do that, so that was that) anyways that was a year ago and i have been trying to grieve and having been working on it in therapy but it is so difficult bc i do love him so much, he was the only one who i thought didnt think i was fuck up when i was a kid, that he loved me regardless of how much of a failure i was, and realizing that not only was all that a lie, but that person doesnt really exist has really been hard. i never thought i would be in this position and it breaks my heart. he is also very good at pretending things are fine and he thinks that his bullshit bare minimum effort to “get to know me” is enough, and he does “try” it just isnt enough for me at this point. but he is very endearing and innocent, a bit like a puppy, he wants things to be good, he is great at making it seem like everything is good, that he wants to be involved and it is honestly just too much for me most of the time. but bc i still love him so much and it is so easy to get sucked into his “everything is fine” mentality, i just feel like i can’t be around him bc it just makes me so mad and i don;t want to hurt him bc it is like hurting a puppy and he doesnt understand why im mad bc in his mind things are better bc he is “trying” and im mad bc im basically having to grieve the loss of my dad as if he is dead (bc he is in a way, the hope of that person coming back is the loss i have to grieve) so him being there being like “hows work?????” (which also of course he has chosen to “get to know me better” by asking me about work/school in a way that stresses the fuck out of me like thanks for askign me about exactly what i don’t want to talk about guhhh) is just infuriating bc he thinks he is working on our relationship and he isnt doing shit!!! and it just sucks but i don’t want to hurt him bc i love him ughh and i have a hard time allowing myself to express anger in the moment so i just keep it inside so that when it does come out it confuses the fuck out of people bc im still really fucking mad about our stupid donald trump/bruce springsteen fight bc that is what spawned this whole new “interest” in my life and bc he doesnt know that i relate super hard to bruce’s issues with his dad and the mental illness in his family and that he (and my mom, thank god for my amazing mom) are the two people who give me any hope that i might be okay at some point and that it is worth it to keep fighting (and bruce has been in therapy for 30 fucking years and owes his ability to have any kind of happiness to that thnak you bruce) and comparing him with bruce he is just so not the person i want to be like in any way but he is so fucking righteous and judgemental that he has the nerve to think that he is better and that our fucking sociopath fuckhead president is better too like wtf!???? also he legit doesnt know any springsteen songs, it is just that bruce is a liberal so therefore a bad person in my dad’s mind and catholic so not a “good enough christian” to redeem himself for being a liberal (CAN YOU SEE WHY I HAVENT SHARED THE DETAILS OF MY LIFE WITH HIM??? THE FACT THAT IM A LIBERAL ALONE YOU CAN IMAGINE DOESNT HLEP) and i swear to god if anyone says to me again that i am “setting him up for failure” and “not giving him a chance” by not expecting him to change so help me god bc three of my friends have given me that fucking shit bc they all have met him and he is endearing and literally everyone always defends him when he is literally doing nothing, (and @ these friends excuse you for thinking you know better about my dad’s shit than me, my therapist, and my mom WHO IS A THERAPIST and has had 20 years of therapy mostly dealing with his toxic fucking family and how badly they fucked him up and continue to) LIKE UFH im the only one working on our relationship bc i actually want to have a relationship with him and the way things were headed i was probably not going to have one but no, im not doing enough..

sorry, it is just that im just so heartbroken that im even having to do this work and it is so hard and i just dont want to be around him rn i thoguht i had two weeks and he fuckign came home for the weekend and i am so fucking mad at him and i am so bad at hiding when im this upset and i just cant deal with him rn

#me #and i was feeling a bit better today and didnt need to cry at all and now im fucking sobbing again #sorry for being so dramatic i just needed to get this out and i dont expect people to understand im sure it seems really dumb and trivial #i guess a lot of people's dad's are disappointed in them (which is shitty btw bc all my friends deserve better than that)#but they havent really been able to empathize so yeah #just needed to vent

11 notes · View notes

boyjadzia · 7 years

Text

omg sara @shinelikeastarlight tagged me to do this super long tag game hlep

tagging: @void-for-president, @the-alexandrian-alchemist, @starboysisko, @magnmite, @yacobeanreign (of course only if y’all want)

last text sent: "cool [thumbs up emoji]”

list three favourite colours: ???? don’t do this to me

what time did u wake up at today: 11am, it’s reading period don’t judge me what were u doing last night at midnight: playing drunk rock band name something you can’t wait for: this godforsaken quarter to be over when was the last time u saw ur mother: over winter break/new year’s one thing u wish u could change abt ur life: the crippling depression/abandonment issues are getting kinda old, I’d like to feel like I have a stable community/family who love and support me whats getting on ur nerves rn: the discourse favourite tv shows: star trek (all of them but esp DS9), idk I’m sort of obsessed with yuri on ice at the moment, those two are the main ones tbh? first best friend: my girl India who doesn’t have a tumblr but we’ve been best friends since we met on the playground at age 5. our moms are also tight. listening to rn: nothing, the sound of my laptop fan straining to keep my computer from bursting into flame

3 fears: never having a group of people I feel I can call family, never being in love, cavities

4 turn ons: self-awareness/humility, being sensitive about & respectful of my dysphoria, trust/willingness to be vulnerable, being honest & vocal about what you like 4 turn offs: being boring, being insensitive/distant, not being conscientious about how you interact with my body (i.e. assuming you can just treat my body the same way you’d treat a woman’s body and that’s a-ok), heterosexuality of any kind sexual orientation: gay tbh senior year quote in my year book: oh god some generic hillary clinton quote about feminism I don’t even wanna remember it first thing i notice in a person: ?? what they look like? shoe size: 7M/9W (US) eye colour: hazel hair colour: brown favourite item of clothing: probably my leather jacket, close runners up are my high-waisted black jeans that look good with pretty much anything and my crop top that says “I got to second base at Jonah’s bar mitzvah, January 7th 1978″ what colour of underwear i’m wearing rn: blue/brown/white stripes favourite season: whichever one has like 60-70F weather, used to be summer but now that’s spring lol how much time i spent on designing my blog: not much I just picked a theme the reason i joined tumblr: this is pretty sad but... I wanted to make friends do i ever get “good morning” or “goodnight” texts: only if I’m like talking to someone right before going to bed when did i last hold hands: don’t remember how long does it take me to get ready in the morning: depends, anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour have i shaved my legs in the past 3 days: LMAO try the last 4 years where am i rn: on my couch do i like music loud or at a reasonable level: reasonable, loud noises are scary 3 things i love: my friends, dogs, idk earth? how i feel rn: I need to gtf to sleep lol something i rlly, rlly want: to feel like I don’t have to radically change my body to be attractive to the people I want to attract 3 things that upset me: feeling like I’m hurting or burdening other people, straight men trying to hit on me, the persistent feeling that being transmasc somehow makes me a bad person what i find attractive in other ppl: appreciating subjects other than your field of study, confidence, ambition, someone who’s accomplished interesting things in their life, being friendly, genuine & not condescending 3 habits i have: staying in bed all day on days when I don’t have to do anything, only eating part of my lunch during lunch time and eating the rest for dinner, carrying off ridiculous amounts of free food from events something i fantasize abt: feeling comfortable and secure in my attractiveness vis a vis how my body looks, and in my presence in gendered spaces something im talented at: singing, memorization, embarrassing myself the blog i give the most notes to: idk, probably sara tbh last person re-blogged sth from me: I haven’t checked my notifications in a while o_0 do i smoke/drink: I drink with friends my favourite food: I’m a big fan of things with cheese in them. also guacamole. my favourite dessert: it really depends ugh I guess cake? what i did yesterday: had my last day of classes, went to work, went to an award ceremony/opening gala for an integrated DNA technologies sponsored exhibit at the field museum (it was so fancy I felt so grown up and fancy), went to kat’s birthday party number of kids i want: ???? number of siblings i have: none something thats constantly on my mind: trangst (trans angst)

last person i messaged on tumblr: teddy (void-for-president) can i drive: nope :/ what state or part of the world do i live in: Chicago, from Brooklyn am i in school: 3rd year undergrad do i get grossed out easily: not generally, but certain specific things will do it (ex. dead animals especially FISH) somewhere i would like to visit for a week: hm maybe go back and see Alaska again? check on that mountain biking trail I helped build in 10th grade i’ll love u if: make an effort to spend your free time with me/take the initiative in telling me that you value my being in your life last show i binge-watched: I binged legend of korra over winter break, probably that what words upset me the most: idk I guess people telling me I’m wrong for existing in the spaces that I occupy? what words make me feel best abt myself: when people tell me they value having me in their lives and that I make them feel good about themselves a wish that i’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11: that’s not a thing that I do :/ who i would switch lives with for a day: idk maybe someone who’s already gone on T and sings just so I could get a sense of what the voice change is like for a singer? or like. a famous celebrity or something. my favourite ice cream: green tea I think? allergies: minor allergy to raw eggplant I think, every time I eat undercooked eggplant my mouth starts to feel like it’s swelling up, not like my throat is being blocked off but just my mouth starts to hurt quite noticeably sexiest person to come to mind immediately: alskdjfsldk this is really hard uhh uhhh ok see my first thought is like star trek characters but I can’t say that ok let’s go with john boyega he’s gorgeous and seems like a ray of sunshine my childhood career choice: biologist! one of my insecurities: that being transmasc nonbinary and still participating in some women’s spaces/not letting go of some aspects of womanhood makes me a bad person and specifically is harming transfeminine people how many blogs am i following: just over 100 I think how many tabs/different windows do i have open at this very moment: 2 windows, this is the only tab open in this window because my internet sucks and tumblr is a monster website, the other window has 13 tabs coke or pepsi: not super into either, I guess coke although my aunt used to work for pepsi so I should be loyal tea or coffee: tea movie or book: movie probably, I don’t actually read that much it’s embarrassing, although frankly I don’t really watch movies that much either a sense i would be willing to lose: none omg! I guess if I had to pick taste? since taste is mostly smell anyway quote i live by: I don’t really? type of accessory i wear the most: does the leather jacket count? otherwise none last awkward situation i found myself in: I kept trying to pet eva’s dog today but I just ended up scaring her what time is it rn: way too late

a song that made me cry: hallelujah by leonard cohen, not actually, just like made me v emotional (yes I’m thinking abt that yiddish cover) first song u ever sang at karaoke: are we talking like legit karaoke at a karaoke place or like hanging out in my best friend from middle school’s basement singing along with her CD of karaoke tracks for the hottest hits of the mid-2000s bc I don’t remember the former but the latter was definitely sk8r boi

#randy rambles #long post #tag games

3 notes · View notes