#i’d trust them with my life

[pinktrashgoblin]

TW: needle for the second doodle

Been thinking about Daktari a bunch and wanted to doodle them again. They are so goofy I love them

#jsab #just shapes and beats #jsab art #jsab au #art #aaaaaaaaaaaaa #oh no #fan art #jsab bmau #jsab broken melodies #jsab oc #cw needles #goober #They are so stupid #Look at them #the silly #i’d trust them with my life #(Iies)

[cafffine]

two days of nonstop cleaning I am literally untouchable and I am getting that security deposit

#I need to do it all bc I don’t trust my roommates to do it. #even if i’d made peace with them #the time I wasn’t cleaning was spent illegally dumping lmao #in dumpsters ofc but just random ones I walked past. never been this strung out and grimy in my life #double shot

[fellhellion]

#feel free to reblog the meme if u like lmao #just leave the tags out #vent.txt #<- sorry just need to have a moment lmao #inflicted w the yearnings for romantic relationship yet again 😞 but so keenly aware of how much I’d have to unpack in myself to truly be a #part of it #like. I don’t trust people. I don’t confide in people. I tell them nothing about myself for years and years and I used to resent a little #that that was enough for them. that they didn’t NEED to know. that me loving and caring for them was enough. but it’s so silly because like #how can you resent people for not knowing what you won’t tell them. so thankfully THAT has passed #but it’s just like. there are so many issues. like I just CANNOT conceptualise myself as romantically attracted #attractive* #not even in a self deprecating sense it just feels like an immutable fact. I can’t imagine someone looking at me w romantic desire. #and it’s like. I honestly don’t know if I could let my walls down enough to actively love someone back like that #it’s so easy to love from afar. and hell haha maybe THATS because it’ll always be easier to love someone when they can’t know all of you to #love in return #but I just don’t know how I can do it. I don’t know how to view the risk as being worth it #and at the end of the day I’ll be okay if romantic love isn’t in the cards for me. you can live a happy life without #but ah fuck. sometimes the but I am so lonely.jpg hits

[athetos]

Okay this is something that has taken me years to come to terms with and I just need to get off my chest especially since im not in therapy anymore and honestly only a few close friends know this but talking about it is still hard and I want to be able to better forgive myself and get rid of some of the internalized shame that plagues me because of this, and like, just be more comfortable admitting this fact to myself so I can better heal from it. And I know it’s also triggering to a lot of people so I never feel like it’s ever appropriate to discuss I should have a therapist again maybe sometime. But I’m gonna just say it and maybe delete this later. But I’m a rape + abuse survivor and it’s took me years to even “unlock” this trauma and properly process it. I’ve come a long way but idk I just wanted to get this off my chest because it’s been aching to come out but I also don’t wanna burden people.

#I want to ‘move on’ from this but I’m always gonna have ptsd and complicated triggers and. trying to make peace with that. #idk why it’s been at the forefront of my mind the past couple weeks #maybe because I’m yearning for a long term relationship rn and this is barriers I need to break through #like oh man if I wanna love someone and marry them I have to learn to trust them and take that leap #and the fact that I’m afraid of falling into an abusive relationship again #because as much as I tell myself I’d recognize the warning signs and would leave immediately #I truly will never know what I would do until it actually happens #and I think just the fear of falling for someone and having them turn out to be a scumbag is alone too much #I need to vet potential partners through multiple friend groups or something #my therapist always told me that the reason toxic and/or abusive people try to enter my life is because they can tell I’m vulnerable #like that I’m some sort of easy target because I was a people pleaser and empathize easily #and people realize they can get away with some shitty stuff and take advantage of me since I’m loyal and forgiving #I don’t think I’m like that anymore. I feel like I’m a lot more assertive and like. cognizant of red flags now. #but again… it’s a fear I have #idk what I’m even saying anymore.

[jjhonanana]

First kiss (of the year) after a long night 🛌

Context: they were up all night NYE, comforting and consoling each other before finally confessing their feelings for each other at the crack of dawn before finally going to bed

(Originally posted on Twitter here)

#mp100 fanart #serizawa katsuya #reigen arataka #serirei #nye2022 #they’re gays your honor #gay #art #illustration #fanart #alternate design #my headcanon for Reigen is that he’s 100% black and his family moved to Tokyo when he was young so he’s lived there his entire life #but the community still sees him as ‘the foreigner’ Bc he’s dark skinned but he loves it lowkey #and with Serizawa he’s half black and was born and raised in Seasoning City #that’s why he’s so moved to protect Reigen in season 2 and willing to trust Reigen with working under him despite seeing he’s a fraud & stuf #also they’re both trans men bc I said so #this is in every variation of them they’re always trans you can’t tell me they aren’t #anyways yuh #I would love to write a mini fic about this but I’m silly and can’t get their voices down they way I’d want to so I don’t even wanna attempt #-anymore #also my first time posting like this on mobile so don’t bully

[parttimesarah]

Johnny Toughnut: Protection for the Posh

#I’d trust him with my life #but I may still have dead animals thrown at me #not his fault #i love him your honor #ben willbond #🔥🌭 #johnny toughnut #horrible histories gifs #horrible histories #the six idiots #six idiots #them there #i made these

[gayhuckleberryinatrenchcoat]

PSA: So we all know Misha writes the most beautiful poetry, right? But he also has impeccable taste in reading poetry!

I just saw he follows Amanda Lovelace (who if you don’t know writes beautiful feminist queer poetry) and I think it’s very awesome for a man to read that.

Ofc we all know Misha is a big ally to the fruity community but knowing he reads these poems that so deeply describe the feminine experience, lots of triggering subjects and appreciating the poet enough to find her and follow them? I love this man.

#i know he might just have followed them for whatever reason or only read a single poem or whatever #but knowing he knows and likes someone who writes these deeply personal things? #i know it shouldn’t be such a big deal but to me it shows how great of an ally he is #literally one of the veryyyy few men I’d fully trust with my life if I were drunk and stumbled into him in a dark corner #gotta love misha #misha #spn #supernatural #spn family

[a-star-that-fell]

honestly it’s very interesting to me how much of the art around the nurse costume is very creepy/subdued/horror-inspired

which is like. yeah this is the mcr fandom after all. and i suspect much of it is also stemming from the wttbp music video but also like. gerard was so visibly happy during this particular show. joyful.

the vibes just don’t match up to me.

#jules speaks #then again this is me filtering everything through my Weird Medical Thing ™️ #but i’d trust them with my life more than multiple medical professionals i’ve had #*beating the physical manifestation of the world over the head with a baseball bat* #we want hope! give us hope!

[mando-abs]

When the lightbulb goes off as to why they showed Dr. Pershing’s story

#oh yeah #it’s all coming together #bo katan kryze #pedro you liar #you stinker #he gave a spoiler and he didn’t think we wouldn’t notice #I’d trust Bo katan with my life MY ASS #I know this is still theories rn but LET ME HAVE MY SMART BRAINED MOMENT #I DONT GET MANY OF THEM THESE DAYS #din djarin #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian s3 spoilers #mandalorian spoilers #mandalorian s3 spoilers

[starbuck]

I don’t believe in categoric “love languages” but, along those lines, providing is so important for me in my relationships, romantic and otherwise. I love you, so I provide for you, and maybe you’ll do the same for me. I want to be in a constant cycle of giving and receiving with my loved ones. I want to feel safe and appreciated and make others feel the same way. I want to anticipate their needs. I want them to openly express their desires to me without shame. If you want it, it’s yours. I love you.

#i have been going ALL OUT for my coworkers lately #because they are lovely and they deserve it #i want to care for them and protect them #because i don’t trust my manager to do it #she seems like a decent person don’t get me wrong - she just doesn’t seem to like spending money on other people #which like sure. we live in a society. capitalism is hell - i get it #but also life is short - my coworkers work their asses off #and they deserve some hot cocoa and an apple cider donut when it’s cold and they’re on a 12 hour shift #and they deserve some cake on their birthdays #sure i could have saved the money - but i’d rather give them the appreciation #because that’s what it’s really about #that their happiness is worth it to me

[groundbreakingdot872]

I think about BAMF!gwen a lot

#bbc merlin #especially now #in the middle of the night #the absolute POWERHOUSE of a Queen she was post camlaan #how she had the loyalty of every citizen and knight in camelot #how she had the aid and trust of the most powerful sorcerer ever to walk the earth #but just most of all how she had such beautiful character development from s1 to s5 (obv discounting all the enchantment) #she went from awkward and gently reassuring to confident yet compassionately strong #also I bet she could wield that sword pretty well by season 5 #I’d love to read a fic where she just meticulously plans out a battle attack against enemies with Merlin/knight as her resources and #she’s on the frontlines completely obliterating them #and then there’s celebration that acknowledges her prowress #she’s amazing end rant #guinevere pendragon #bbc gwen #queen guinevere #guinevere #merlin emrys #oops there I go reliving my past life as a hopelessly smitten Camelot knight again 😩 #oh well

[letterstotheflre]

lowkey a bit scared of seeing taylor live bc i stopped stanning/listening to all the artists i’ve seen in concert

#every. single. one #it may take a few months or a year but trust that i won’t listen to them anymore after the concert #that was one of the reasons i didn’t want her to come to argentina bc then i’d have no chance of seeing her #i don’t want that to happen w taylor :(( she’s literally all i listen to #like what will i do with my life if i’m no longer a swiftie?? #this is genuinely stressing me out guys fjdkfk #keeping up with tina

[nuala-luna]

I wasted eight years of my life being friends with someone who didn’t care about me at all and abandoned me for no reason at the drop of a hat without so much as a word and now I’ve completely lost my ability to socialise or form meaningful connections with other people thus making new friendships impossible so I am literally completely alone every day I feel like I’m going to be sick

#I am having a very bad time at the moment #I’m sorry this is a lot more detailed than I’d normally be comfortable when venting on here #but at this point I don’t care #AND they sabotaged my relationship with my partner by telling them a bunch of lies leading to us breaking up #AND so much else #I’m tired I’m alone it’s not fucking fair #why is it ok for people to just. ruin my life and then leave??? #why is that something that is allowed to happen? how am I meant to get better when shit like this just happens??? #vent #I had SO LITTLE anyway #and somebody I trusted decides it’s ok to destroy what I do have #this is several months after the fact #I’ve been dealing with this for months and it’s not really getting any easier tbh #I’m so isolated

[milo-is-rambling]

Me when I want to be wanted more than anything else

#I think I’d be more normal if I had more friends but every friend I lose makes me isolate more and more and now it’s like I can only trust #people I’ve interacted with for years already #and then every time I try to make friends I either don’t respond (anxiety. not feeling a vibe. whatever) or they stop responding when I #actually like them (someone who talked to me for like four days in an row and then randomly blocked me no explanation) #I think if I made more friends or even talked to more people I’d understand how to do it successfully but I don’t have enough experience and #no one wants to be friends with me (and it’s scary when they do!!!) wahhhhhhhhhh #I need to move somewhere new and talk to strangers I’m good at that #I made more friends a a concert age 14 than I have from me the ages of 16-19 and i think that’s ridiculous #how do I explain to everyone ever that nothing bad happened to me I’m just mentally ill bc my hormones are fucked and it’s let me to spiral #and ruin my own life and then slowly painfully build my life back up and then crush it all again over and over again for years and years #to the point where I’m afraid I’ll never amount to anything so the idea of ever truly having people who find any value for me in their lives #feels like it’s fake and then when I do finally trust people I end up loving too hard and fucking it up and then I isolate for even longer #it’s takes me twice as long to find a new friend and trust them again and then it happens all over again #it feels like I’m destined to be alone bc I can’t tell the difference between platonic shit and flirting so I have a wall between me and #everyone else bc I’m afraid to like someone too much and confuse my brain bc I don’t ever want to like someone who doesn’t like me even if #it’s as friends bc I’ve put more effort in than other ppl always but it’s bc I put too much effort in and expect too much and no one else #is as weirdly obsessive and clingy and dedicated as I am bc I’m not normal and that’s why no one likes me bc I try too hard or not at all #and it makes everyone in my life family friends crushes whatever hate me bc I’m all or nothing forever I can’t just be normal #I think a lifetime of living with my mother has permanently damaged the way I see myself #who are all these normal ideal people in my brain why did my mother put them there and why will I always be worse than a hypothetical person #designed to shame me for struggling which gets louder the more I struggle #spirals cycles etc etc etc #ugh. I want my brain to turn off I’m gonna go take a dab and maybe delete this later

[stayathome-ts]

Okay this is gonna sound a little fucked maybe but I think even flare-ups of various issues can be romantic. Not the super intense parts of course but you know, I love that I am trusted and I can support my partner when he wants it, and that he knows he’s loved when I do that.

#It’s the little things you know? #It’s the love you find in life when you’re both a bit fucked up #I’d consider myself less fucked up now but back home yeah I’d have issues with the arc or injuries on the job or whatnot #and I thought it was romantic when someone I liked in that way would help (if I allowed them to at least. ah nostalgia lol) #so I like giving that too in a different way than “you’re my friend/comrade/teammate and it’s the right thing to do” #like no I want to make this as gentle as possible #I don’t want you to be more uncomfortable than is avoidable #I want you to know you’re loved and you’re safe and you can ask for help and be given it #you know? I like being trusted and being a safe place for someone to fall

[pussy-ache]

#bpd #could be trauma. could be an overproduction of cortisol affecting my pituitary gland #and it’s a catch 22 for me because (if i truly have BPD) i can’t accurately assess my behaviors #like. i’d like to THINK i’m not a manipulative person but what if i am? how can i trust that i haven’t been fooling myself? #and hurting other people in the process? #but i also don’t like being the center of attention. but maybe i’m manipulative in worse ways #i also fit everything for regular BPD. not just the impulsive subtype #like i do actually believe i have this the vast majority of the time. there’s just not much that can be done #it’s like … ‘’here’s this awful terrible personality disorder. you got it. it’s a list of shit that makes you an awful person. have fun!’’ #like it’s not something that i can personally investigate very often #so many studies i’ve read conclude with shit like ‘’yea this group of people sucks just like we thought. can’t trust them & there’s no cure #and i’m terrified to even ask for medical help anyway cuz it’s also one of the most stigmatized mental disorders to be diagnosed with #right up there on the same level of stigmitization that schizophrenia gets — which also runs in my family incidentally #and my family members who developed it did so in their 30s-50s …. symptoms didn’t start until super late #consistently afraid of my own mind and personality with nowhere to turn. i can’t subject that on anyone. #which proves the inabilily to retain long lasting meaningful relationships correct #i have a history of dipping early #and i’ve been called cold and distant in a relationship. i retain too much independence. #superficial stings a little #all my life it’s like ‘’wow i feel a lot. i might be an empath’’ #and in reality it’s ‘’no actually. i have a personality disorder that amounts to me being an overbearing crappy person that feels a lot.’’ #here’s some studies that prove that #i’m just a very. very. very. tired person #sigh