Tumgik
#i’ll always grieve it
thesungod · 1 year
Text
the problem is that at the end of the day i wanted to be a doctor but i don’t have the self discipline confidence academic capability courage and memory to go through medicine and residency and i’ll do physical therapy which is cool and i like it a lot but i wanted to be a doctor and i’m scared i’ll always be partially unsatisfied. maybe i should have changed field all together to numb the pain rather than choosing a career where i literally work with and see doctors all day. but i wanted to not starve lmao
5 notes · View notes
danothan · 6 months
Text
tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things
#sounds kinda obvious but i only just realized it lmao#feels like i have to grieve a lot of my goals now but no one said the healing process would be easy#danbles#and for anyone else that has a disability that prevents them from doing smth#or trauma that makes certain triggers limit their opportunities#or neurotypes that make it harder for them to love smth like they used to#or whatever else#i don’t want to make it sound like you have to give up on the things that make you happy#I’M certainly not going to#but a huge value of mine has always been experiencing everything life had to offer#and everytime that backfires (whether it’s burnout; triggering a flashback; triggering an episode; putting strain on my body; etc)#i always just thought to myself ‘it was bad timing’ or ‘i haven’t gotten better yet’ bc the endgoal was to always get to that point where#i could experience it. i want to try new things all the time. i want to feel normal and be included in everything#but if smth keeps Making Me Feel Bad then maybe there isn’t a version of myself that can take it on#it’s not resilience to put yourself in harm’s way#idk how well i’ll be able to put this into practice tbh. i rly rly like exploring different experiences#even negative ones are valuable to me#but the least i can do for myself is recognize that i might not always be the problem#maybe i’ve already hit the limit on all the self-work i can do. maybe it’s the environment or situation itself that’s the problem#fuuck guys ​i feel like i’m going thru a stage of grief here why is this shit so hard 💀
63 notes · View notes
mooseonahunt · 9 months
Text
Something I will never get over is how quickly Sherry goes “Hey! You guys can adopt me!” at the end of RE2. She literally just became an orphan and she’s already looking for new parents and asking for pets
48 notes · View notes
shrinkthisviolet · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
Oh, tell me are your eyes brown, blue, or green?
And do you like it with sugar and cream?
Or do you take it straight, oh, just like me?
Taglist (send an ask or DM to be added or removed):
@ocappreciationtag @arrthurpendragon @vexic929 @ironverseocs @raith-way @thechaoticfanartist @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @negative-speedforce
9 notes · View notes
amanduhcrush · 2 months
Text
“Wait For Us” 🥺❤️
A memorial poem for my babygirl Ginny, crossing the rainbow bridge softly and sweetly today. In the presence of love. Mum and Dean. FaceTime with me. It’s okay ❤️
This is how I grieve. My babygirl isn’t in pain anymore. They came to the house. As comfy as can be. She’ll never, ever be lonely. Angel and Kaspie need her now more than ever🥺 she’s watching over me.
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
Thinking of moments
She truly was a fighter
Simple as that,
Ginny my girl, she always had my back
Parents and hospital trips, living at home
I lost my mind and will to life, not happy at all
But she saved me, she truly did
I learned lessons from her
Like the gentleness of nudges
And how to never to hold those grudges
— not even the ones I want to keep
No matter the pain
Girl had the words to say, she was always so deep
And as I’m at a loss
And outside there’s rain
I know babygirl
Knows she’s loved just the same
Mom and dad and Meeke and friends
Her best friend Charlie, the spunky black lab
Were they dating? Who knows??
… friendship is glad ❤️
She was a cutie — actually, pretty rad
Her last walk with Charlie
And fam and friends to be .. with
Not for 10 mile hikes, like the prior days
But still in the company of love, just all the same
She used to pull me, I couldn’t keep up
Excitement abound, 17 years now
She walked me and I followed behind
And now in my heart, with walks she’ll be my guide
I’ll never forget the cuddles on beds
When she could jump up and nudge her head
And as things got harder, I used to grow sad
The time grew near, to cherish moments we had
Short of breath, and 7 teeth and a goofy tongue
So many tumors, too many to count
Trips to the vet changed the tone to sad
But I remember that last trip we had
She hung on as long as absolutely possible
I held her closer everytime I returned home
That girl changed my life & did the impossible
Now I know and feel that true love is REAL AND POSSIBLE
I can can call you a soulmate, and our life was fate
All dogs go to heaven is true I know
Her pet family awaits, the cats she’s loved
Her last car ride over the rainbow bridge
Time to be a puppy again 💗
Rest in love and peace babygirl Ginny
(Peace and love) the motto of me and dad
Know mom will be eternally and lovingly sad
Walk us home, puppy dog ❤️✨🌈
We’ll always need you 🥰💕 please wait for us 😘
Tumblr media
3 notes · View notes
thirrith · 1 year
Text
missed my family. thought seeing them for the first time in 3 years would help. it’s worse, actually. we’ve had a good few days (but not enough time, always not enough time, I would have made more time for them if I could but I couldn’t which my brain now tells me was my fault) and now I miss them even more
5 notes · View notes
redrattlers · 1 year
Text
.
4 notes · View notes
Text
A lot of mornings I wake up with my iPad right close to my face because I shuffled across the entire bed to get closer to Ozzy in my sleep and it makes me so soft to realise I love him and his music so much I even search for it in my dreams…🥺🥺🥺
10 notes · View notes
mistressaccost · 2 years
Text
between reading asoiaf last year and watching hotd rn i’ve come to realize that i don’t hate the targaryens and maybe i don’t even hate daenerys… i think the crux of the matter is that i just don’t like emilia clarke. that and a lot of the GOT fandom spaces love to set certain characters against each other and i unfortunately fell into that and my prejudices spiraled from there. and i think i just mistook my dislike for clarke’s portray and twisted it into something else in my mind. but when i disconnect her acting from the character i actually start to really care for dany.
1 note · View note
pepprs · 2 years
Text
omg i was feeling better for like 2 hrs but then i saw a post on here that is like maybe the worst thing ive read all day. and now i am feeling despair again
#purrs#going to close this app and go watch minecraft build videos again bc that’s the only thing that distracts me rn. but it sucks. it sucks so#bad. how easy it is to be knocked down like this by a stupid post and how frightened and hopeless and small i feel. like wtf. and i know i s#said this but it’s like the mindset shift thing i rbed a few minutes ago right? like i am supposed to be the BEACON. i am supposed to have t#the hope and give it to people who don’t have it. but what do i do when /i/ don’t have it. that is antithetical to the entire enterprise.#and it does not bode well for our work working lol. like given what i know i should never ever doubt or fear or anything again. and the#sayings are literally brace yourself the world is broken and we’re braving the storm etc etc but right now all that’s going on in my head an#and heart are BROKEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!! STOOOOOOOOOOORM!!!!!!! HHEEEEEEEELLPPPPP!!!!!! and not like oh! brace. brave. ok yeah i can do that#and to be fair i don’t think anyone is feeling that way ever probably and that’s why you can’t be a beacon of hope if you haven’t known#hopelessness and don’t fight to overcome it every day. but right now knowing i need to be a beacon is only making me feel more hopeless. and#i know the beacon feeling bc ive been there before but idk if this will pass bc like uhmmmmmm… i live in the fucking death trap that is the#usa. but it might but also idk. i just am haunted by 2 things. number 1 that the most basic simplest thi ng s in life like starting a family#of my own and having a stable living situation might be out of my reach bc i was born at the wrong time. and number 2 that especially in the#last 2 years but also always there are such HORRORS happening and yet so many of them we don’t feel and it’s like out in nature the forest i#is still just the forest and it’s like for these birds and squirrels etc they don’t even know there’s a pandemic and nothing abt their lives#has changed in 2 yrs (that has substantially impacted their way / qualify of life anyway). and i know everything in my save tag refutes this#and also that if lia heard me saying this shit she’d say in effect why don’t you go write a poem and calm down. but part of me wants to feel#hopeless i think because there’s a security in feeling doomed bc to fight it takes strength and courage and is maybe scarier. but i am just#exhausted and grieving rn except the grief i am feeling is NOTHING compared to other griefs others feel and have felt. but yeah this is also#day 4 of living here again and maybe by day 14 or whatever i’ll be feeli ng stronger and more normal but the last few days have been so#fucking hard and so much about my life is different in ways that are hard right now. so i have to just deal with that and adjust and mayhe p#plunge myself into a piece of media like i have done w every other major transition in my life and somehow haven’t done w this one yet but t#that might just give me a break from my stupid broken brain and then i’ll come back and be normal. bc today i could barely get out of bed#delete later
4 notes · View notes
nclson · 3 months
Text
hilarious in a sad way to think of foggy 'bella swan in new moon' ing his way through grieving matt
1 note · View note
awaakeandunafraiid · 5 months
Text
.
0 notes
eyesopentv · 7 months
Text
.
0 notes
lilgynt · 8 months
Text
there’s no polite way to tell my mom i need her to stop giving me errands or leave me alone for five seconds and yes i am having a break down over it
#personal#am i crying bc my#mom told me she’s having some people come by the house to fix the cable yes yes i am#it just kinda fucks up a plan i had today which#i haven’t been able to do bc my room was a mess but now that’s it’s clean i was gonna dedicate myself to jsf relaxing and doing this#and she says they should be done before my plans with gg but how funny would it be if they ruin that too#and she always springs shit on me no warning ESPECIALLY if i have plans with gg and i doubt it’s on purpose but i’m so upset#and every night is like she needs something or we’re taking about something until bam its 11 or midnight and i have maybe a few hours b4#i have to work or even if it’s a day off it took over an hour and a half to get to my dinner after serving it#and that’s before how long it took to actually just get my dinner#or how i’ll be in a room and she won’t acknowledge me TILL i’m like hey im gonna go and i’m walking away#i had to say five times im going to use the rest room before i could actually leave and do that#and no she wasn’t forcing me there but getting up and then her needing me to come back it interrupts the process a little#and i just sent such a huge rant to gg and audrey with audio bits and im so annoying so add that to crying pile#i feel like i’m being a huge baby but also really want to tell my mom to leave me alone a bit#i don’t think i’ve even started my grieving process just cause it’s a constant motion of doing something
0 notes
twi-liight · 8 months
Note
Hi! I suffer from Baldur's Gate brainrot. I just stumbled upon your blog and love your writing! Could you do some Astarion, Gale and Karlach headcanons for taking care of Tav after they're badly injured in battle?
Tumblr media
Reckless Attack ❣
Grieve, weep, and agonize over a corpse - but know that death is never final in Faerun. The burden of injuries will instead always be present: pain is eternal, no matter how numb. ❥ Astarion/Tav, Gale/Tav, Karlach/Tav. ❥ TW: Descriptive mentions of injuries and gore. ❥ Act 2 spoilers. ❥ They/them pronouns for Tav. ❥ Tav is the nickname for the reader/oc insert. Their real name is up to you!
An Absolutist cult has gathered deep in the bowels of the forests of Rivington. Nothing out of the ordinary... Other than the sheer numbers they possess, creating a dense population of Absolute extremists gathered in stone ruins.
Adventuring parties that dare to end their machinations perished slowly and painfully. Their corpses - what is left of them - are displayed pierced from the gnarled branches of the trees, where they bleed out on the forest ground.
Tav, Astarion, Gale, and Karlach had a plan: throw a barrel full of smoke bombs into the middle of the ruins, firebolt, and profit. Except things didn’t go according to plan (they never do). That barrel was supposed to be at their rendezvous point, but the cultists found it before they did and thought it a gift from their Goddess.
Trapped in hiding, Tav decided to do what they do best: attack.
A potent necromancy curse was successfully cast on Tav, negating any healing spells thrown their way.
Well.
Fuck.
Tumblr media
ASTARION
"As always, you refuse to listen to me. And now look at you: a mess. What did I say about running afool to the vanguard?" Astarion does not wait for their response. “Don't do it. It is smarter to be in the shadows in this instance. And what did you do? Ran alone into a quarry of cultists with no sense of self-preservation!”
Anger, pure anger, is present in his voice, sharpening his typical melodic lilt into daggers. If he cared about the present company - Shadowheart, Halsin, and Gale crowded into a tent, surrounding Tav upon their cot - it is nonexistent in his wine-red eyes. They could get lost in those bloody depths for hours. But not now. Not when seething rage roils off of his body like a cloud of darkness.
They look away.
"Nothing to say for yourself, darling?” he mocks. Astarion’s visage twists into a sneer, sharply turning his face away from them. He finds an unused rag, wets it, wrings it of excess water, and then moves past Shadowheart. “Allow me,” he murmurs to her, gentler.
Shadowheart’s inquisitive green eyes understand the depth of the situation immediately. She sighs, clearly annoyed he has taken over her job, but is dissuaded by Astarion’s next string of words: “I’ll clean them up. Magic and healing and all that wonderful nonsense are not necessarily my area of expertise. A firebolt here and there, surely, but I wouldn’t know where to begin with a curse that... Negates healing magic.”
“Sure,” Shadowheart replies, eyes flicking to Tav. Worry is evident over her features. Worry hangs heavy around everyone. Emerging out of battles victorious and grievously injured is commonplace; nothing a mass healing word couldn't fix along with a good night’s rest. Open wounds would be closed scars, ailments would be cured, and broken bones would be unbroken. Rinse and repeat.
This time, it is different.
They, and they alone, were cursed with a necromancy spell that makes all healing magic useless to their wounds.
Their wounds are appalling: Broken ribs evident with the pain swelling in their chest and labored breathing, purple and black blotchy bruises from the hammer blows they took to the shoulder, an open laceration across their chest, their ankle snapped in two, burns on their left leg crawling up their thigh. Blood all over their face from their own and from the enemies they felled.
“Hey, it’s fine,” they wheeze out. "Nothing I can't handle. The cultists are down and dead and buried - everything else can come after."
Hesitantly, Gale opens his mouth to reply, but is abruptly cut off by Astarion snapping out: "No."
"No," they echo. Their brows furrow.
"What a saint you are," Astarion snarls. His lips are down-turned, fangs bared as he speaks, but his ministrations upon their face are soothing. Gently, he rubs off the blood with a cool washcloth, eyes focusing on the task at hand as he cannot bear to look at them.
"Throwing yourself into the heat of battle like that, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Tell me, my dear, do you enjoy watching rational fly past you when you make your impulsive decisions?"
They flush with humiliation and hurt. Broken and battered, they dig their elbow into the cot to prop themselves up and face Astarion head-on, but Halsin presses a hand into their shoulder and pushes them down.
Fuck. Their head spins in circles.
"You're one to talk. Impulsivity is your middle name; you said yourself that planning is not your forte." Even raising their voice hurts but they do it anyway. Their eyes, threatening to slip into oblivion, flood with frustrated tears. "What the fuck is your problem, Astarion?"
"Must I really spell it out for you, sweetheart? You go around, telling everyone exactly what they need to hear. You tell them they aren't alone. That you will help them, that you will ensure they see the future that they want." The words are venom: petty and spiteful and yearning to be understood. "You," Astarion hisses out, "are so blind."
Tempers rising to fever pitch, Halsin tenses from his spot at the foot of the cot. From the corner of Tav's eye, they see Gale murmur something to him, something like, Let this play out. Astarion would never hurt them.
"I am the only one who will take the first step!" Tav cries. The words explode out of their broken chest faster than they realize, flying like an arrow straight toward Astarion's unbeating heart. "I risk my life - every day - for all of YOU! For all the people that need me! For all that I am because-"
"Because what?" He taunts. "Because it is the right thing to do? Look at yourself, Tav! You are on death's door if not for everyone in this room!"
"Because no one else will do it! Not anyone in this damn camp cares enough to- to help the people we could-" They cough violently, but they slam their elbows into the cot to prop themselves up. No one stops them this time as they meet Astarion's burning eyes. "No one cares but ME-"
"WE care about you!" Louder. Vicious. Astarion's voice splits in the air in two in one fell swoop, striking them down like lightning into silence.
He's breathing heavily, panting, as if exhausted. The adrenaline pumping in his veins is begging him to swoop Tav up and run away with them. Away from all of this bullshit and into hiding within the shadows. Maybe the Underdark. Maybe the Shadowcursed Lands. They can descend into madness together.
At least there, they will be safe.
"I care about you," Astarion chokes out before he can stop himself. "More than anything. Do you know that? I hope you know that."
Their mouth forms the words to reply, Of course I do, but it doesn't leave their throat. Instead, it stays stuck there like a fluttering butterfly, forced into silence. It hurts to speak. It hurts to talk. It hurts to see him like this.
He calls out their name so quietly it could have been a trick of the wind.
"Astarion," they plead.
He shakes his head, stubborn and unconvinced. "You don't owe these people anything. You certainly do not owe them your life for their burdens. I," he breathes out, voice as shaky as a leaf in the wind. He screws his eyes shut and clenches his fist around the rag, where their blood stains his palm.
"I almost lost the sun of my life today."
When Astarion opens his eyes, they are steeled with resilience and fury as they gaze into theirs. It is hypnotic. It is lonely. They yearn to comfort him.
"It will not happen again."
Tumblr media
GALE
"Easy," Gale murmurs, a strong arm laying them down in his tent. Soft blankets and pillows meet their back, and the cushy grass beneath makes for a cool and comforting sleep. Their breath stutters, but Gale gazes at them so fondly as he pushes their hair from their face that the pain eases.
He does not miss their labored breathing. "Shhh shh shh. I've got you. Just focus on me."
His thumb lingers on the swell of their cheek. His eyes flutter close. A gentle glow of purple surrounds him, and eventually, that gentleness extends to Tav. The agonizing, piercing sensation in their chest numbs into a cool, muted nothingness. They gasp - then exhale in relief, slower than their panicky, short breaths from before.
"That's it," he encourages. "Well done, my love. How are you feeling?"
"So-so," they reply. Their voice aches and croaks, but for some reason, it makes Gale smile.
Oh no. He knows that look.
They study his handsome, tired face, looking for any signs of alarm. Is he hungry? Does he need to feed on another artefact? Was there an envoy telling them they missed another Absolutist hideout? Did they miss something? Did they do something wrong?
No. Nope. "Enough of that." He takes their hand, kisses their knuckles, then sighs. "You're the last person who should be worrying about someone. Such a pest, hm? Always buzzing around me like I'm seconds away from disappearing in front of your eyes..."
"You are," they say. Their brows furrow, and they pant out, "The-- your burden to carry, the--"
"The orb, I know. I know." His heart twists. It aches. He failed Mystra before and that was painful. But this is another subject entirely; it couldn't come close. Watching sheer heartbreak in their expression because of him? Oh, Goddess forgive him, he has failed them.
Gale can scarcely celebrate his victory, too. He undid the damned curse that affected Tav's ability to receive magic. The necromancy spell was so potent that Tav rejected any healing spells thrown at them. Late into the hours of experimentation, he, Halsin, and Shadowheart considered allowing the effects to wither and die rather than exterminating it outright. It was Jaheira who told them it would be inefficient, because how long would they have to wait in camp while Tav rode out the effects of the curse? Ideally? Hours. But days? Weeks? Months?
He spent the long night following and feeling out the curse with the Weave. It was a complicated hex - a tangled knot of magic that had to be unwoven carefully, thread by thread. Every connotation, every intent was traced back to the heart of the curse, and he followed it with abandon.
"I'm sorry for all the trouble, then," they whisper.
"You should be," he jests. "Nearly made my heart collapse, seeing you like that."
The image is still burned into his mind. He can't stop thinking about it. His mortality has always been a dreadful afterthought pushed into the further recesses of his tadpole-addled brain, but was he so taken with Tav that he never realized how mortal they were, too?
No. No. Gale tightens his grip on their hand, giving them a comforting squeeze as they breathe in and out, in and out. It's not that he never realized how susceptible they are to death and danger. He just never wanted to confront it.
"You are changing the very premise of my life," he says softly. An exasperated chuckle leaves him as he shakes his head, adding, "as always. I don't know what I would have done if I actually lost you, back there." What wouldn't I do? "No scrolls of revivifies, no Withers to bring you back. I wouldn't be able to accept it."
He understands Ketheric Thorm all too well, now.
"Come here," they whisper. Gale lets their hands press into the back of his head. He thinks, absently, that he would let them do much of anything. In their care, he is no grand wizard with a plethora of achievements under his belt. No. He is as humble as the Weave itself, and their hands compose music and art for him to simply bear witness to.
They rest his head upon their chest, where his ear can listen to the comforting sound of their beating heart.
Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud thud.
"Good night, my love," Gale says, when their breathing evens and they have finally fallen into peaceful slumber. He does not sleep at all.
Tumblr media
KARLACH
"Oh gods. Oh gods!" Karlach clasps Tav's left hand between hers, holding tightly and vowing to never let go. Their blood stains her hand and chest and clothes. It's everywhere. Sickly sweet and sticky, drawing all of her attention from the room to the sensation of it dripping down her skin.
They've lost so much blood. It's nauseating, like an unsettling reality has just settled in her stomach.
"Tav!" She exclaims, helpless and pathetic. "Why did you do that, you big idiot? You seriously could have gotten killed out there, why-- why aren't you..."
Responding? Where are their quips, their sass, their brightness she fell so fast and hard for? Tav lays there upon the cot, broken and battered. Karlach has seen the remains of her enemies after she has slaughtered them and has barely flinched. She can barely stomach the sight of them bloodied, bones twisted in the wrong way, bruises so purple they're as black as a chasm.
All they can do is breathe. Their eyes focus distantly above them to the roof of the tent, but nothing else.
Panic seizes her faster than she can control it. "Are they breathing?! Are they going to survive this?! Fuck," she growls, running a frustrated hand through her dark hair, matted with blood. "I should have made those sons of bitches suffer."
"Karlach," Shadowheart says, firm but gentle, her hands bloody too as she applied pressure down on Tav's wounds, "it was important that you returned them to camp as fast as you did. Sometimes, we do not have the luxuries to let our enemies die in pain."
Right. Right. Karlach watched an Absolutist barbarian slam his warhammer into Tav's back. Once to knock them down. Twice to keep them plastered on the ground. Once more to keep them unconscious. She saw red, then: the rage she slipped into boiled her veins so hot, the howl she let out sent her surroundings enemies into a frightened frenzy. She hacked her great axe into the barbarian over and over and over until he was nothing but a bloodied pulp of a man, more gore than flesh.
She scooped Tav up from the ground. Karlach never let anyone else touch them. She snarled and snapped at the others who tried to come too close and dead sprinted as fast as she could back to camp.
She heard their choked sobs of pain in her arms. They choked out her name, and Karlach couldn't offer them much of anything other than an, "We're going home, bubs, just hang on. 'Kay? You just focus on me."
"Can I stay here?" She begs Shadowheart. "I won't get in the way. Just let me hold their hand, please."
Shadowheart exchanges a conflicted glance at Halsin. He nods, and she sighs. "Fine," she says. "But - I need you to stand to the side for now. You can hold their hand after we're done figuring out how to undo this curse."
"A fine specimen of a curse, really," Gale adds, his hand curled under his chin. "I'm almost impressed."
"I would be too," huffs Shadowheart, "if our reckless leader wasn't caught up in this mess. Really, what were you thinking?"
"Right?" Karlach shoves off into the corner of the tent, doing her best to keep herself as small and as out-of-the-way as possible. Tears flood her eyes, and she chokes out, "Of all the things to do, why did it have to be that? I thought you said you trusted me! To have your back! I have your back, don't I? Don't I?"
"Of course you do," Halsin croons. He hooks his finger into a bottle of salve, and spreads it on Tav's burns. Tav visibly winces and tenses, whimpering in pain.
"Stop whatever you're doing right now!" Karlach wails. "You're hurting them! I'll kill you, Halsin, I swear it!"
Gale exchanges a look with Shadowheart. He ponders deeply for a moment as Karlach sobs devastatingly behind them. He opens his mouth, then shuts it promptly.
"Just say it," Shadowheart urges impatiently.
"We should play a game," he suggests. "The quiet game."
"No way," Karlach hiccups. "I'm dogshit at that game. Anyway, focus on Tav or I'll gut you, seriously."
❥ Additional links: kofi | ao3
Tumblr media
4K notes · View notes
mvth3r · 2 months
Text
thinking about daryl giving you a nickname…
18+, mdni
AN: this was a midnight brain worm while i was working on something else, so just walk with me ok!
daryl wasn't really one for nicknames.
he'd never had one coming up, always just "daryl" or "merle's brother" or something else sneered and distasteful. that was fine with him. to daryl, nicknames were rooted in sarcasm and mean jokes.
it hadn't started any differently with you.
that day in the quarry way back, the morning after the walkers had attacked their people. daryl was already aggravated, sweaty and thinking about merle (alone and hurt and alone), and he didn't much like these fucking people anyway, so when you stood with glenn, insisting on a burial over burning, dried tear tracks on your face (those people were your people too. you were mourning with the rest of them), he didn't hold back, sneering "well ain't you just a fuckin' peach," and watching your face harden in the wake of his words.
daryl didn't mean for it to stick, but he found himself defaulting to the silly name anyway. first when he was annoyed at you. you were soft, unfit for the grime of this new world, then when he was poking fun, and eventually... something else.
in the cdc, with a hangover keeping you slumped over the table, "shoulda stayed out the bottle if ya couldn't handle it, peach."
over the long winter on the road, with barely any food or water, "keep up, peach, i ain’t gon’ carry you.”
in the prison, sharing shifts up in the watchtower (because you were sort of friends now) (because daryl felt almost rewarded when your eyes lit up at your nickname), "don't need to teach you on the bow, peach. you're just fine with a knife."
trapped in the train car in terminus, fussing over his injuries even though you could barely map him out in the dark, "peach. peach. quit it, ‘m alright."
the road to alexandria was long and brutal. 'peach' turned into your name and your name turned into silence. daryl was grieving, you were grieving, and the space between you felt like a chasm, dark and wide. finding that community was a blessing in disguise, not just for the group, but for you and daryl specifically. you came back together behind the walls, both unwilling to acclimate, but knowing you needed to try.
‘peach’ made its way back into circulation slowly and then so frequently that even the alexandrians began to catch on.
when daryl had to leave with aaron for a run, “later, peach. i’ll find ya after your shift.”
laughing over your assigned job, “the hell you know about gardenin’, peach? they shoulda put ya in the tower.”
inevitably your relationship shifted into something more intimate. it wasn’t a secret, hell, the group had seen it coming long ago.
‘peach’ stopped being a nickname and became a term of endearment. something daryl reserved for tender moments.
startling awake when daryl joined you in bed, late after a long run, “just me, peach, go back to sleep.”
when you came back from a run that turned dicey, a little worse for wear, “lemme see it, peach, i got ya.”
and in… other moments as well.
your body pressed firmly against daryl's, his lips a breath from yours, whispering, “tell me what ya need, peach. you know i’ll give it to ya.”
daryl laid between your legs, two fingers curling cruelly against your g-spot while you rode out your orgasm above him, “there ya go, peach, so fuckin’ good.”
daryl had never been one for nicknames, this fact held up even after the world ended. your own family was rarely on the receiving end of a playful moniker. but to him, ‘peach’ was easy as breathing and, to you, it sounded like “i love you” every time.
1K notes · View notes