#i'm jerk

[invinciblerodent]

From now on, I'm just going to assume that anyone who calls Gale any variation of "pompous", "arrogant", "annoying", "a jerk", or anything to that effect, and talks at length about how they hate him and/or have killed him, is just bellyaching and being a baby over them not understanding his speech. That's right, at this point I'm ascribing a literal skill issue to being wrong about a fictional character.

Aww, poor baby, did the Mean Wizard hurt your tiny, smooth widdle brain by saying "adroit"? Did his correct use of "foeti", the latinate plural of "foetus", frighten you? Aww, I'm so sowwy. That must be so tough for you, being so scared of fun words and the general concept of whimsy. I can't hear you over myself tongue-kissing the pretty man with the calf-eyes and the slutty waist.

#squirrel plays bg3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #just watched a little video on bad decisions that actually turn out well #and the last one was “reviving gale” #and my man went OFF on how annoying and how much of a jerk he found gale #and how he had wanted to just let him stay dead #and i'm just..... annoyed at this point #and annoyed at myself for being annoyed #gale is just whimsical!!! and fun!!!!! i mean come on have you never taken him to the lanceboard; that boyish glee? #larian please fix my kisses i need this man on his knees post-haste #(this. this is because. i play a dwarf. and he kneels down for a kiss. ya nasties.) #(but also. definitely was thinking that too.)

[zoe-oneesama]

will chloe ever gain character development with on your au

How do I still get this question on Chapter 50?

#I'm not ZAG I wouldn't jerk you around this long

[buttfrovski]

this kids room ...

the sword.. the cars.. the darts.. the planes.. tweek u r sooooo cool

#the crib goes crazy tweekathon #i'm getting the visual of him throwing the basketball and jerking at the last moment and it bounces off the rim and hits him in the face #south park #tweek tweak

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Hey girlie, I'm such a big fan of yours!! I think your work is PHENOMENAL, like IM LITERALLY FOAMING AT THE MOUTH EVERYTIME YOU POST. So, the other day, me and my baby cousin were watching Frozen. And you know how there is this one big sweet guy that got mad because he got offended (I think his name is Oaken? You can look him up) and I IMMEDIATELY thought of König. Imagine him having his own little wooden shop( like that man from Frozen) up in the cold Alps, and one day, our dear Engel comes through the door, shivering from the big snow storm outside, saying that she's seeking shelter at least until the storm outside subsides. What would König do?

Omg this is just another cabin König to me! But with a pinch of silliness 🧚🏼‍♀️

Guy wanted some solitude after failing in life big time, he has no interest in socializing (or so he tells himself at night), he’s perfectly happy here in the middle of nowhere with no one to hold close his heart when there’s a blizzard outside…

Even hot chocolate tastes better alone, yeah, and ski trips are nice when you can set the pace yourself and admire the mountains with no one in sight. It’s not like he ever imagined a cute girl beside him on those warm sunny days when the snow looks like gelato and glitter, just the sort of thing he'd wrestle her into and then steal a kiss...

Nor does he miss the sound of soft, light-hearted giggle as he skis downhill to his cabin and heats up the sauna, wondering how lucky he is that there’s so few customers here and all of them are men. Otherwise he would have to be careful when he’s walking around in nothing but a towel–

The bell chimes, and someone comes in, of course it’s a woman, the first woman he’s seen in these parts or in his little shop ever. And here he is, sheened in sweat... Wearing only a thin white towel about his waist, the linen already wet and clinging to his thighs from the heat of the sauna.

There's an actual woman standing inside his humble tradepost, looking like a creature born from wind and snow, like a little Christmas tree decoration that has frosting all over it.

Cute little lips, a kissable mouth; that’s the first thing he notices on her, and he never thought of kissing Christmas decorations before… Men usually look like ice devils when they arrive inside his hut, but this little lady only looks like a winter night’s spirit, a little confused and lost. Her spirit eyes are glued to his junk before they rise to meet his softening stare, and who can blame her for staring when the first thing she sees upon coming in is a half naked man?

“Uh, welcome,” he manages to say while his cock gives a happy little jump under the towel as well, giving its own excited welcome to this woman.

She'd not dressed properly at all for a weather like this – why anyone would insist on wearing a dress in these temperatures is beyond him, but if he was her, uhm, brother or father, he would never have allowed her to go outside without proper winter gear.

Poor thing looks like she’s freezing to death, the bottom half of her dress coated in crystalline snow. If he had known that this lady was out there, trying to get somewhere warm, he would’ve come to her rescue at once…

“Um. Are you the shop owner…?” She asks delicately, still hugging herself from the attempt to stay warm.

“Yes. I mean, no... Uh… This is a trading post,” he stutters with his words, as if talking to women was somehow completely different than talking to men.

She furrows her brows and examines his body again, not at all interested in the items he has in stock. No woman has ever seen him in this state, no woman has ever looked at him like he’s the item here. She looks like she’s not sure if she wants to buy him or not.

“There’s also a sauna,” he says with a hint of pride in his voice, because he is damn well proud to have such luxury here. “Do you want to come…?”

“Do I want to come to the sauna…? With you?”

“No, I mean, you can go by yourself. It’s free of charge for the ladies.”

Such brazen discount he came up with just now, desperately wanting for her to stay. Besides, she needs the warmth after whatever adventure she’s been through. It would not be gallant to charge her for warming herself and getting that dress dry.

He wonders how she would look like in one of his woolen shirts. She would have to wear his clothes after the sauna, of course, he has no spare women’s clothing here. He will have to remember to be apologetic about it while presenting her with his clothes, secretly hoping they will catch her scent once she snuggles safely inside them and thanks him for everything he's done for her so far... She would probably look the cutest in his dark green knit, or the midnight blue one...

“Oh,” she says, slowly warming up to his offering. His cock is more than half hard by now, and he clasps his hands in front of it, trying to feign the movement as a casual posture shift although he’s anything but casual and relaxed.

And she’s not easy to trick; he might as well have pulled the towel away and shown her his cock in all its glory. She eyes his covered erection with a cat-like curiosity, a small little smile playing on her lips. Long lashes reveal a playful stare, slowly melting under the dim lamps of the cabin.

“I mean, of course you can come with me, if you want…”

Shit... That just came out of his mouth even if he tried to swallow the words. The inviting smile on her lips starts to quiver: she’s stifling a laugh, she’s giggling at him.

A flush rises on his cheeks, he can feel it, the erection now jumping against his palm, wildly and demandingly, as if wanting to join her in her mirth.

#this is so silly lmao #I'm just imagining him lounging at the sauna #maybe jerking himself off #languidly cause he's finally somewhat relaxed #he's trained himself like pavlov's dog that sauna time = fapping time #and now he's supposed to go to the sauna with this BABE and tell his erection that now is not the time??? #impossible!

[punkpoemprose]

My apologies in advance for what this may do to your dash. I just love broad shouldered men with brown eyes and a heart of gold and I cannot be stopped from collecting them all.

#gale dekarios #bg3 #cullen rutherford #dai #alistair theirin #dao #still early on in bg3 #so no spoilers #don't tell me if he turns into a jerk #I'm busy pining while my actual husband shakes his head

[doverstar]

to be clear, I think Rose Tyler being an often-selfish character is great. I think it's great because real women are selfish. Real women get petty. Real women hear their ex boyfriend say he's going out with a mutual acquaintance and get unfairly jealous and real women then say things like "she's a bit big" when they shouldn't and they have no right. Real women can be monsters, and Rose Tyler is relatable and I love how she is written and I love her, thanks for listening

#Rose Tyler is so imperfect #she is SO FLAWED and sometimes you get mad at her and that's exactly how all characters should be written #she is compassionate and she is loyal and she is SELF*LESS* to a FAULT sometimes #but she is ALSO selfish #gloriously human #she's SUPPOSED to be the most ordinary girl in the world and you know what? ordinary girls are jerks #I would know. I AM one #write more ordinary girls Doctor Who writers #write them please I'll be your best friend #dw #doctor who #rose tyler #rose marion tyler #whovian #text post #doverstar's thoughts #listen this is not to say that I think being jealous and angry and petty and rude and selfish is GOOD #I'm saying it's good writing to portray FLAWS #because those are FLAWS and people should not be content to be that way #this is not Turning Red

[inkskinned]

maybe i'm a bitch but if i hear you go out of your way to judge someone's weight, i immediately lose trust in you & will probably forever find you a little unbearable . yes also the little floating bar over my head will start reading [hostile]. this is natural and u caused it.

#IF you do the therapy to stop being an asshole and make a POINT of being like #''i used to be a jerk about this but now i'm not'' #..... we can reevaluate .... #btw i hope this doesn't need explanation and everyone can be normal on this post #and not be like #what if i am a DOCTOR and i was aSKED #like we all know what i'm referring to here #you're like in target and lizzo is playing in the background and they're like #DID YOU NOTICE THAT LIZZO IS FAT? #or ur on instagram and like some dude's comment is like #NICE ART BUT WHY ARENT YOU THIN #like .... okay we get it. we get it . go to sleep . go to therapy. bye. #ALSO BTW i am in recovery for an ED and im saying this AS someone with Brain Problems #pls do not clown on this and be like ''actually i'm allowed to be rude and judgemental'' #no u aren't. none of us are. having an ED is not a pass for being a fucking dick #it can make you ACT like a dick. that isn't something you should be proud of or seek to continue #hence.... therapy!!!!!!!! #i know it's kind of controversial to say it but frankly i don't believe in infantilizing mental illness #by being like ''oh they can't help themselves'' #bc that kind of thinking is .... unbelievably toxic lmafo #you might not be able to control your split-second thoughts/judgements #i have ocd i understand #but like. . . .. you know #we both know #this post is not about ''u blurted something u regret'' #this post is about. THAT GUY

[batburgerofficial]

hi i think about this way too often for a so-called “functional member of society”

#i know this was supposed to be funny but chase lost his jerk dad that he didn't like to cancer before he could make up with him and here #he's making up with his jerk pseudo father figure before he loses him to cancer as well :( #anyways i'm very normal about them #gregory house #robert chase #house md #tv tag #posting this on the side blog as to hide my actual interests from the irls

[maskerat]

haven't properly drawn my tiso gijinka so here he is. the man.

I need to draw him more he's literally my biggest comfort character lol-

#hollow knight #my art #hollow knight art #hollow knight gijinka #hollow knight tiso #tiso #yes i like drawing little ghost being attached to tiso becuz I AM attached to tiso. #he's like a cool sassy dad #a jerk but has a soft spot for kids #you know what I'm im on about r i g h t #steamratdead art

[mayasaura]

Everything you learn in the second portal game really adds to the replay value of the first. Like how the longer you take on a test, the more you're edging glados. adds a certain spice

#portal #portal 2 #glados #glados is about to straight up murder my girl harrow in the jerk competition #so naturally I'm replaying the games

[otakusapien]

You're allowed to dislike children, but you still have to be polite and reasonably kind to random ones around you for the same reason you're passingly polite to random adults in you're daily life: Because they are people

#I don't think I'm saying anything new or profound here but we need to find a balance between hating on kids #And telling people they are obligated to love children and are a bad person if they don't #Possibly unpopular opinion: it's fine if you don't like kids #The problem isn't someone not liking kids it's that they're being a jerk to another person #I love kids but I'm kind of sick of people being told they're scum for not engaging like a preschool teacher with every child they meet #Just be a decent human and you're fine

[starflungwaddledee]

What’s Bandana Dee’s opinion on The totally normal waddle dee?

he's pretty protective of his friends!

#she's lucky enough to be considered one #for what it's worth bandee also works hard to overcome the knee-jerk “eeuugh” reaction of being around her. #he does this because he believes it's the right thing to do. he thinks she deserves not to be isolated for it. he's a noble little guy. #also: bandee & starstruck lore enjoyers hold onto your hats bc this is just a little titbit to tide us over #i'm about to drop a like... 9 page comic in the next few days after starstruck's surprising sweep in that poll 🥳🥳🥳 #my art #my comics #bandana waddle dee #starstruck dee #WAIT IT'S WADDLE WEDNESDAY. didn't make this specifically for it but I REMEMBERED!!! #happy waddle wednesday!!!

[rainydaydream-gal18]

Rampart: Are you going to tell me to stay away from your girl? Crosshair: If I had to do that, she wouldn't be my girl. Rampart: Well, then I guess you've got nothing to worry about, do you, Crosshair? Crosshair: It must burn you up that a clone like me saved you from prison, huh? Gotta' be careful. I might not be there next time. Oh, and Rampart - stay away from my girl.

#no I'm not simping for Rampart...just thought this was an interesting scenario #rampart is a jerk #incorrect quote #bad batch incorrect quote #the bad batch #bad batch crosshair #crosshair x reader #bad batch crosshair x reader #bad batch crosshair reader insert #bad batch reader insert #bad batch x reader #x-men quote #x-men 2000 #bad batch

[myimaginationplain]

I've come to the conclusion that being assigned the fandom-mandated "sunshine character" is the worst possible fate a character could face

#maybe I'm just biased because the characters that this happens to tend to be some of my favorites but I think I'm onto something #these characters aren't allowed depth of emotion or complex inner worlds. once a character is fanonized as the 'ray of sunsine' #or the 'cinnamon roll' they cease to occupy any space outside of that role in fanon content. they're happy & silly & not much else #no matter how much depth they may actually have in canon. #popular fanon has a tendency to treat happiness & goodness like states without any emotional complexity. #emotional complexity is reserved for the anti-heroes & jerks-with-a-heart-of-gold you see. #atp 'X is a ray of sunshine' has begone to feel like code for 'I don't actually care about this character very much nor do I understand #their canon narrative so I'm just gonna ignore them 98% of the time. but hey they're really nice! that's something! anyways—' #this is about many characters but I particularly want to call out aang & nightcrawler / kurt wagner as two who get this the worst. #because christ the mischaracterization they get from people who never think about them outside of the 'uwu small bean' box is infuriating #also steven universe & miles morales. although it's not so bad for steven after suf #fandom bs #please pretend I typed 'begun' a few tags back

[corrodedbisexual]

3 days later, this keeps getting better and better

Specifically how Loreen has more views, probably because a lot of non-ESC fans just wanna check out who won, but absolutely drowning in dislikes. More dislikes than Käärijä has likes, actually, as if it's not just his stans that are tanking it, but fans of other performances that have been terribly wronged this year.

Another hilarious point: how they put her performance up with "EUROVISION WINNER" in all caps. Because, yup, you look at all the Käärijä hype online and you might get very reasonably confused about who actually won this thing (and he did, to us).

You know when they didn't mark the winners' Grand Finale performances like that? Every damn year before 2023. Their titles just look like this.

(PS: in case you weren't aware, cos I got these questions on a prev post, yes, you still can see dislike stats on youtube web with the plugin. Another plugin lets me download the videos straight from the page. Plugins are your friends.)

#eurovision #esc 2023 #eurovision 2023 #Käärijä #not tagging Loreen cos I'm not a jerk ppl are allowed to enjoy her in her tag

[fangirltothefullest]

every person theorizing about fnaf/fnaf movie lore and trying to solve stuff and still struggling to understand william and henry's relationship as business partners: THIS IS SO COMPLEX AND THERE ARE SO MANY THEORIES!!! SOME ARE SO GOOD OTHERS ARE CONTROVERSIAL!

me: aheeheem i think balloon boy has garret's spirit in the movie cause it keeps following him around

every fnaff hardcore fan getting pitchforks and torches: >:U !!

me being stabbed: :)))) teeheehee balloon boy weird balloon boy funny

#fnaf #anyways anyone got any clues about the tallys? #i got nothin but i'm living off the high of my deep dive knowledge of showbiz pizza and chuck e cheese franchise rivalries #and how the one who created the pizzaria was great with costumes and shit with animatronics and the animatronics guy was like #hey wait what if i did something else cause you're kind of a jerk #and anyways the real controversial take is thinking this franchise took from real world happenings and that we should use that shit- #to help figure it out