#i'm scared it will disappoint me

[grapeskeeto]

don't hug me I'm scared was my first online fandom experience. it was also the first time I witnessed & participated in shipping. at the ripe young age of 12 I was knee-deep in internalised homophobia until I stumbled across humanized fluffybird fanart, thought it was cute, promptly re-evaluated my entire worldview, & began questioning my sexuality.

these motherfuckers turned me gay

#& I'm so thankful for it #so yeah this show means a lot to me #dhmis #don't hug me i'm scared #dhmistv #fluffybird #gay #also 12 year old me was Vehemently against p*dlock & I don't remember why #remember joking about liking gay ships to my school friend & she was so disappointed. I was like haha yeah it's weird ig but now I'm like #Excuse Me. Do You Have Something You Wish To Share With The Class?

[severedegg]

?????????????????? i thought i posted this but apparently not???????? well its here now lol, did these just over a month ago lmao

#was trying to look for this as a ref n couldnt find it n got so confused #a lil stupid in the head sometimes but its ok #dhmis #dont hug me i’m scared fanart #dont hug me im scared #don't hug me i'm scared #dhmis red guy #dhmis yellow guy #dhmis duck #dhmis fanart #im. literally just. im disappointed in myself #ive cycled through at least 3 interest things just this month and they just keep circling #its ok because im in love with making art #ITS ONLY THE 7TH OF JANUARY. IM SPEEDRUNNING THIS SHIT #help me

[transfemyoungblood]

they are both trans girls. you agree.

#rswr roman #rswr youngblood #roleslaying with roman #i could go more into depth about this #i mean. i am tumblr user transfem youngblood so of course i'm going to go more into depth abt this #but youngblood seems like a newly out trans girl who was extremely repressed during her bard college years. #i just know it. argue with the wall #plus it is canon that she was forced to be someone she wasn't during her time at the college #and she ran away when she realized that she didn't want to be the person she was expected to become #narratively and thematically it makes so much sense. cmon now #also roman is an egg. once again just trust me on this one bro #being scared of disappointing the people you care about with who you are #may not be a universal trans girl experience #but it is one i relate to heavily #anyways. hitting them both with the tgirl beam :3

[danielcalmdown]

I am more n more convinced that I can't actually draw and all good that happens is just luck, accidental and random stuff that my hand does that i just notice n keep and i am not smart nor i know what I'm doing. And lately I can't get even that because anxiety makes me too careful n I don't make such good bold lines anymore. I'm poop i'm fucking poop

#i feel lucky everyday that i can make things that make me n others happier #but then i'm scared of losing it n disappointing

[keeps-ache]

there are a couple changes i would make to the keyboard if i could:

wiggly exclamation mark

bleeding heart emoji

varying snake emojis (more poses would be fun)

question mark with a little heart for the dot bc, well,

more explosions

and that is all thank you

#just me hi #i need these a lot #wiggly bc it makes a lot of sense #i am saying something but with a sort of ~~~~~~ to it!! #/bleeding heart because the other night (it musta been about 3 a.m.) i was looking for an emoji to really get my point across and i sadly #realized that i had imagined the existence of it. the disappointment was immense <//3 hfhs #/SNAKES. need i say more? :> #do i know a lot about them? not yet. am i scared of them? yes. but i love them a lot thanky #/i am asking a question but it's with love #<3 #/explosion emoji my beloved #we NEED to diversify hfhsvb #a mushroom cloud would be cool :3 or one that clearly has shrapnel in it #or one with a little heart that's like the exploding head emoji. because it's like that #i'm mentioning hearts a lot bc the heart is willing but the brain is. trying #//anyway in the other newsings i'm remaking those pi.e refs again lmao 👍 #ik they're only so many months old but man i changed some of the designs a bit during those months hfhs #funny how i made refs because i thought 'oh i haven't changed their designs in forever - it's not like it'll happen anytime soon yea?' #and then.......... #oath's design has changed the most minimally during these - how many ? two‚ three-ish years - so i thought Ahh nothin'll happen #but Then-- #aura has morphed So many times - she was at least 3 different people before i actually Got her so hfvhs <3 #kinda knew that would happen. but she's actually changed the least so Lollll #hid's usual look has not changed at All - only his actual form‚ which i tweak every second day or something #and i've neglected kira so badly fvfsh - so now i've added and removed and swapped things for her in worldrecord time ! i think i've got he #in a way i like though so :D #but bc of all these changes now i gotta make new refs bc they are Inaccurate #not a big deal. but oh it IS #wonder how long it'll take me this time lol :) only one way to know ehegh #//anywho ciao ! i've got the things and stuffs to be doing.. ooo toodles :33

[bonx2macaron]

Anyway my relatives have started asking me if I'm in a relationship/like anyone, and it feels sooo odd bc how do I tell my grandma I most likely won't ever be in a relationship.

At all.

So I just gotta go with the "none of the guys I've met are my type/they're bad influences haha" like no, it's not funny how much I'm afraid what she might think or say once she knows.

#aroace #asexual #aromantic #miku for president 2024 #i don't want to be scared of disappointing my family I've always been so good pls #i don't drink i don't do drugs and i do ok in school pls spare me the pitiful looks #and don't say I'm too young to know bc I'm not

[desperatepleasures]

reading a lotta manga while I'm in a "can't fucking write" phase is kinda comforting tho like...it's ok I'm gathering nuts for winter 👍

#well i still wish i could write but I'm getting sentences here and there #unfortunately i think all my kkm wips have to be on indefinite hold due to The Ooze. oh well there's other fandoms! #<- guy who doesn't have experience writing for other fandoms and is trying to pretend he's not so so so scared #really there's zero stakes. if i write tactics fic it will have zero (0) readers bc dead fandom. there is literally no one to disappoint #otoh if i write one piece fic that is Such a big fandom compared to what I'm used to and that's intimidating BUT #it does mean prolly I'll have enough views that *someone* will like it. so there's that ! #ANYWAY i feel like actually publishing something will break me out of my funk a little. idk #i feel like the fastest thing i could churn out would be the little haruka character study that's been rotating in my mind #but idk where my thoughts are going with that and i maybe wanna read a bit more beforehand. idk!!!

[simplepotatofarmer]

deep sigh.

#there's so little room for nuance sometimes #like. it's understandable to be disappointed in silence right now. #because like. the whole thing from the beginning has been terrifying. #but the black out has genuinely scared me more than i can explain. #so i want people to speak up in support or against what's happening. #but also people are getting mad at the wrong people and it's so enraging. because they're not the ones to be mad at!! #and i'm trying to like. be as calm and reasonable as i can as to not add to the whole misplaced anger thing. #but it's HARD. #loyal talks about stuff and things

[silent-scribbs]

I finally finished an unfinished sketch and watercolored the Doe 💜

I just love the uwu blushing looking away Doe, okay?

I ALSO GOT MY CHARGER FOR MY LAPTOP SO I'M WORKING ON A LITTLE ANIMATION SORTA BASED ON A LITTLE STORYBOARD (?) I MADE ON PAPER

Plus there's an animation in progress in flipaclip using pics of traditional art 👉👈

I promise to finish them 🥺

#john doe #actually saving me from art block doe? #my art #art #sketch #fanart #traditional art #watercolor #watercolour sketch #watercolour pencils #john doe fanart #john doe art #john doe visual novel #john doe game #hes scared and also embarrassed and looking away and IT'S SO CUTE #I never intended for myself to go full limerence obsession over this creature I'm so sorry #I would rather this than some irl person being subjected to me though. it'd scare them and I'd be arrested ^^;; #maki mayhem #my bestie is jealous lmao. or ig disappointed in me and worried that I won't care about him :< I'm so sorry that he has to deal with me 😂

[paperlovesadness]

Me seeing all the comments under Glasto-themed posts blaming Alex for being sick and calling off Dublin

I'm barely able to fold that knife though.... And I'm not trusting myself that it'll stay folded.

#I really have no words for people who lack the basic minimum amounts of sympathy and understanding #and YES IT'S POSSIBLE HIS SYMPTOMS CLEARED UP IN JUST 4 DAYS #am I worried they didn't completely? yes. but they might have. and either way they're Definitely A LOT better after him resting #taking care of himself. possibly getting some meds prescribed. hydrating. not talking. sleeping #What did they want him to do. go out and mime the songs for them? #go up and barely utter some words through the hoarseness - make things worse and call of yhe next month if shows instead? #risk getting actual chronic laryngitis? risk his whole career? #the hell is wrong with people #you've got no idea how scared I was & am for my show that's coming up too. It's like extremely meaningful and important to me #the vision of going helped me through some tougher times #but you know what I'm also scared of? #of one of my favorite artist's getting seriously hurt. #of him beating himself up for disappointing people when there's nothing he can do about it. #can't believe people lack the basic empathy. #i get being disappointed. Sad. Furious even. #be furious with a god if you've got one or the universe or bacteria or the very idea of voice boxes being suspectable to strain #not with the man who's just as frustrated with the situation as you are #AHHHH #(i unfolded the knife safely in the tags. folding it back up) #(I see the typos & I hate em & I'm mad but I won't be doing anything about it. I'm sorry) #// #my posts

[eliasdrid]

the only thing this election results show is that people are tired of the two major political parties for president bc the Senate isn't something this shit ass guy has the majority of... I'm really hoping that counts for something.

#elias.txt #even with the “alliances” I don't think some stuft they want to do will fly very far #I'm so tired tho. disappointed. I wonder how many people voted blank #I haven't taken a good look at the results I think it'll just make me even worse #anyway keep Argentina in your thoughts were all scared

[fluffypichu876]

Alright, I have finished Dishonored! Such an great game, and I loved my time with it! Everything about it felt extremely polished (wonderful atmosphere, tight controls, diverse stealth gameplay, interesting lore), but the level design in particular stood out to me. The levels are full of alternative paths and open many possibilities for the players to experiment around. The secrets and optional tasks are actually fun to find and complete, since they have actual impact on the mission as a whole. Every mission is filled to the brim with subtle enviromental storytelling, and you can find an insane amount of detail pretty much everywhere you go. You can discover so much about this world if you explore the game well-enough. It's honestly amazing.

I'm glad there's still DLC and a sequel for me to enjoy, otherwise I'd be feeling really empty right now xD

"Shall we gather for whiskey and cigars tonight?"

"Indeed. I believe so."

(that shit was driving me insane lol)

#i am disappointed at myself for fully upgrading possession and bend time only to never use them again xDD #maybe on the dlc... #(if i don't forget again) #but yeah that was a super fun game! #stealth games my beloved #also i did a low chaos run because that crypic “dark outcome” message scared me a bit xD #(and i'm used to non-lethal takedowns anyway ever since my mgs2 days) #i don't regret it though! #dishonored

[4arconinoma]

Im excited because tomorrow Im going to go to a botanical garden aaand i might might Might see TARANTULAS there... for the first proper time in my Life!!

#I only ever saw one when i was like 4 dead in my garage... and im not sure if it even was one #so since they're my favorite spider family i want to see them really really badly #although i was only told they are there... there is a possibility that they aren't there anymore #so i'm trying to brace myself for the possible disappointment #Not to mention that a part of me is worried about whether they have the right enclosures or not #i dont know if a botanical garden would pull things like that But given the amount of improper terrariums spiders are put in in pet stores. #im scared that i'll go and see them in the shittiest enclosure... that'll just make me feel super terrible x( #Im just hoping for good things then i guess... Ill probably have fun just seeing the plants either way though #but I just really want to see them ive been geeting super sad about never having seen one... my autism begs for it #Ive been waiting weeeks for this #txt #spiders

[cafffeineconnoisseur]

I'm so fucking scared

#There's this voice inside me telling me I won't make it #Especially with how things are #I have worked for 2 fucking years for this #I don't want it to go in vain #I wanna desperately prove myself that I'll do well #But idk #Like I'm so fucking scared #I can't even sleep #I'm literally crying #Honestly I worked hard #I could have worked harder #But at this moment I wanna feel some sort of satisfaction #All i feel is anxiety #I'm sorry to my younger self #And to all the people who have believed in me even for a little bit #For being a disappointment lmao #Idek how to feel arm #I just know this is not me #I don't wanna feel this way #After coming this long i deserve to be somewhere #But I'm literally stuck in nowhere #Fuck everything

[deep-spacediver577]

I'm too depressed to interact with people online, I'm going to retreat until I shake this bad case of the funk off my soul. could take a week, could take a year, could take indefinitely.

#DSD577 #just can't cope with what is next in my chapter of life... #I'm scared of it #I can't escape it #the unknown looms over me #I try so hard to be a human #I just can't do it in all honesty #Sorry to disappoint but this is MY blog after all #now is the time to unfollow my random-ass blog #if it rids your dash of spam then by all means do it now #Thank you all for your time #be safe be loved be happy #I'm so tired #good nite

[emburial]

I love all my friends/mutuals, I really want to start posting my art or be more out there but agh posting seems draining and I just don't feel comfortable anymore!1

#rant #vent #rambles #I can't even go on discord because I feel overwhelmed by the amount of messages are sent to me :sob: #so far I can only text my close friends #I miss relating/bonding with others to get along with similar interests🙏😭 #I'm also probably just.. too scared because I feel like people are going to get mad at me for how many times I've disappeared #EVEN THOUGH I SHOULDNT! I know damn well I have stuff that I cannot control in my life but the least I can do is warn ppl that I won't #be online! yk?? BUT when I DO become 'inactive' I wind up forgetting to tell them and I tell myself ''it's too late to warn them now'' #OR I get too scared to see if they'd be disappointed in me for it and it's-- abwuafhhb my braainnnn I hate ittt wish a zombie would eat it