#i've been thinking a lot lately on drafting some kind of course on

[not-poignant]

Hi there! I absolutely love your works and, having followed you for a while now, I also really admire you as a person and an author in general. Every update on AO3 and Tumblr is always such a delight. I'm sorry if this ask is coming out of the blue or if it's something you've been asked before, but how did you take the plunge from writing predominantly fanfic to posting original fiction in serial form and also self-publishing novels? I'm currently in the process of drafting two original works after writing/posting fanfic regularly for years, and I'm just lost as to how to set everything up. I have a general idea (post chapter-by-chapter on AO3 and offer early access and some exclusive content on patreon or some other subscription service), but it all feels so daunting right now. Any bit of info or advice on how you got started would be immensely appreciated <3

Hi anon,

Tbh, I went from writing fanfic to original fiction because I had original characters in my fanfiction and readers asked me about them.

I had no kind of...dreams of being an original author in this way, I was published via other pathways already, and fanfiction was really an escape for me, a chance to break with all the conventions of standard writing and just do what I wanted.

But I needed a broader cast than what the movie gave me re: my first fanfics, and I added my own OCs, and left them in the background as much as possible, but even back while writing that fanfic, even the OCs were getting fanart. Sometimes readers would send me anons about them, or ask me more details about them.

Finally, I decided to write some hatesex between them, just something to kind of...idk get it out of my system? Answer what the readers were looking for?

The flow through therefore felt natural. Game Theory flows very naturally on from From the Darkness We Rise & Into Shadows We Fall. And from there, moving into other original works has been easy, in part, because I've often being doing alternate universes from a core of original characters.

If I want to introduce new original characters, I introduce them in stories where pre-existing original characters have already been established.

I didn't even start writing original works with a view to making money off that. In fact I thought it was a very foolish thing to do. A lot of people on AO3 don't want to read original works on AO3 and refuse to do it or only do it if it's PWP / pornography.

I started my Patreon account because readers asked me to. I got asks from very very generous people who wanted to know my Paypal, or asked if I'd start a Ko-Fi, and finally a few people just asked if I'd start a Patreon. I said I didn't think it was a good idea, and they said it was up to them if they wanted to pay me or not, but I should at least consider giving them the choice.

From there, I found it all very overwhelming. I made lots of mistakes. I had to go on hiatus for a year because I promised too much and couldn't deliver on many of those rewards. And for many years I only offered one early access chapter per week for one story, and my main stories were never early access (and still aren't, Underline the Black goes up for everyone at the same time - and while that may change in the future, it's definitely unconventional).

I've always been transparent with my readers that with very few exceptions, if they just wait, they eventually get everything for free. But if they want to support this kind of writing and/or enjoy it, and can comfortably afford to send some dollars my way, they can ensure that I can keep writing this way.

I have for a long time offered no exclusive content at all, I believe that can do well, but it's not my preferred way of doing things.

This career has been incredibly reader driven, anon. I would not personally attempt it cold, without a really fantastic readerbase who encouraged me every step of the way in the first place, because I am a cautious, insecure writer who doesn't like to take risks. So I can't give you advice on how to build this career without the support of the readers there in the first place, and I believe the only reason why I had their support was, in part, because of the actual strength of the writing itself. Which isn't to say it's the best, it's not, it's what I needed at the time and it's what a few other people needed, and that's basically how this works.

If you turn up with the writing, and the audience comes, and they want the story, you have the career.

In terms of practical advice - you can introduce original characters in fanfiction, just be aware that readers tend to be hostile by default if they pull any significant 'screen time' away from the fandom characters (and readers are extremely savvy to authors trying to build a financial business through AO3)

It IS daunting, but the good news is you can do a soft launch. You can open a Patreon or Ream account tomorrow and tell no one. You can mess with your graphics and your tier rewards to your heart's content when you don't have any subscribers. Build a buffer of early access/chapters, and make sure you don't overpromise on anything. Whatever you think you can realistically deliver to readers, cut it in half, because the stress of chapter update deadlines every month can really add up and it's a very different landscape to novel releases.

You can take your time, you can build interest slowly.

Remember you can never ever mention any kind of site where you're getting paid inadvertently, sneakily, or directly on AO3. You can't mention Ream, you can't mention Patreon, you can't mention Ko-Fi, you can't go 'learn more about my writing here' and link to those places. You can't mention buy links. You can only mention sites like Tumblr, Linktree, Twitter etc. Places where the point of sale isn't happening. Not doing so risks AO3's Not For Profit status and risks your entire account, and it's not worth it.

I did an interview with Subscriptions for Authors where I actually talk about many of these things so you can watch (or listen to) the podcast here if you're inclined! It also talks about the importance of community-building, gratitude to the readers, and generosity.

I am here because my readers wanted me to be. So I'm very concerned with making sure I can give them the best writing possible within my abilities. This makes me not very suited to offering 'how to start in this career' advice because it was a happy accident. It's hard to teach something I have never done your way myself, anon, because I worry I'd give bad advice. My writing had people turning up, but I'm not sure anything else I did, added much! I think responding to Tumblr asks and replying to every comment helped too! But...I don't know for sure.

But this career path does make me pretty well suited to offering 'how to keep this going' advice, because I've been doing this for ten years. <3333

#asks and answers #pia on writing #pia on subscription #pia on fandom #i don't know how i got this lucky #but i do know that i stay lucky because i work hard on the writing #so the writing is where it's at #i've been thinking a lot lately on drafting some kind of course on #how to write hooky serials #but if you're writing novels/books that won't be very suitable to you! #i'm not writing serials to turn them into novels #i'm just writing straight up serials that are very messy and difficult to turn into novels lol #idk i do all of this ass backwards #and recently just pulled out of giving a speech on my success as a disabled author #because i actually feel like i'm not good at what i'm doing in a way that is tangibly useful to others #if nothing else anon #make sure you join the Subscription for Authors Facebook #and watch some of the podcasts on YouTube #Christopher Hopper's keynote speech is particularly good

[doomsdaydicecascader]

on your point about the self-referential nature of homestuck, do you have any specific tips for people that want to create such an effect in their own webcomics? I'm just very interested in *how* homestuck was made, like in storytelling decisions and stuff, and I think that it's self-referential nature might be one of it's most consistently well-done qualities

sorry i got back to this one so late, i've been game jamming. so i think the biggest thing you can actually do for yourself is build pattern recognition when it comes to your own work. like. there's this advice that i think came from pixar but it's good advice and pixar hasn't made an uncomplicatedly good movie since the obama administration, so, like, grain of salt on that source.

it's that writing multiple drafts is an advantage because you can write your story first, and then go back at it with a critical eye and pick out your recurring beats, and finding ways to emphasize and represent those beats in meaningful ways becomes part of your story. this is the first part of what is ultimately pretty rudimentary symbolic work, though. like. "oh this sword represents the heros bond with his family"

where i think things like homestuck and petscop differ is that they sort of use narrative beats as symbols in themselves - homestuck is broken up into 4 parts, and each one is an iteration on the last, and it's actually really clear here from how much of a fucking flex the dancestors are, narratively. and that sounds insane to say, because they're terrible, bad idea characters, but like. consider the narrative profile of a character like damara.

damara's got a lot going on in openbound, but we can break it down into some digestible chunks of beats from other characters's stories: there's obvious imports like the megido name, of course, but you also get interesting stuff like using needlekind, and using those needles to do suicide threats, which puts this kind of abstract "rose-ness" in her profile. her relationship with rufioh ended tumultuously, with rufioh being paralyzed from the neck down, which resulting in him having a robot horse body. this puts "vriska-ness" in her profile, who is already loaded down with rose-ness by virtue of being a light player. this paralysis was also remedied by horuss kissing rufioh's severed head in front of a mountain, and involved sending rufioh the horse body piece by piece, this puts rufioh and horuss in the position of both of them having dirk-ness and jake-ness, which puts jane-ness in damara's profile too, which then turns into very indirect foreshadowing when damara's attempts at sabotaging the dancestor session are reflected in jane doing the same, spurned on by the same character, even.

(plus, if you read bdth: there's more. i've written so much more.)

another, that's a little bit more complex to explain, is the idea of tokenization. this is an idea that petscop expresses really well. i'm kind of cribbing from nightmare masterclass here, but in petscop, there's these things that are called "caskets". these caskets are not literally caskets (that which contain the dead) but they are called caskets by the game itself, which both groups the items together as a thing to be understood in terms of itself and very little else, it's sort of an insane flex too - just like. "here is how these items are grouped and a guiding word as to what this grouping entails, find the pattern in this or don't", it's all very abstract in ways that i find very very compelling.

there's a non-mechanic in petscop that i think is unbelievably compelling, which is that there are these "symbol blocks" - that's all they are. they're a block with a symbol on them. these symbols recur in multiple places, and their only purpose is to imply a correlation between the places they show up, and thus, it becomes self-reference.

another thing i think you could look at is the game thoth, which is a similar fuckin. masterclass in visual language. this is a twinstick shooter with no text in it besides level number, and the way it builds its visual language using just shapes and their relations in a space is fucking impeccable. when you're deep in the game, you recognize what an enemy will do immediately from its appearance, and that appearance is like, concentric circles.

recognizing these things, drawing these lines between recurring ideas, reusing ideas wholesale to create new expressions of ideas, that's the basis of all of this. its like hypertext! two webpages that link to each other are almost certainly involved in the other's function!

It's also logical, since there is essentially nothing new in paradox space. Everything that can happen is either a visual or substantive reproduction of something which has already transpired on a timeline, offshoot or otherwise.

#granted one of the pitfalls of abstraction is that it can be used in some really truly unintended ways. #jade is on-screen when its storming in bdth and i wonder how the shock fic homestuck interpretation community likes that #ITS BEEN LIKE TWO WEEKS SINCE I WROTE A POST THATS TOO LONG ABOUT HOMESTUCK #HOW I MISSED IT

[anonymouspuzzler]

For the assumptions thing! (Again!)

I'm guessing that birthdays were always interesting in the villain family trio's house and that when Minnie showed up they got even more interesting.

Like I can imagine Buck getting Davey a little something for his birthday and being a little shy/nervous about the whole exchange but relaxing when he turns out to be happy about it. Meanwhile Davey figures out Buck's birthday and similarly gets him a small gift which nearly sends him into tears because it's been how long since somebody wished him happy birthday, let alone genuinely.

Similarly I can only imagine when Minnie's birthday rolls around (If the timeframe of the comic in your mind allows it) Davey and Buck get together to make Minnie some kind of birthday breakfast and a gift (within their budget, off course) and she similarly to Buck nearly starts crying because of it.

COMPLETELY CORRECT. my current outline has it so Buck and Minnie both had birthdays shortly before the comic starts (turning 49 and 13 respectively) and the "main" story ends just shy of their next ones (50 and 14), and I haven't decided when Davey's birthday is, so I don't know if we'll see it in the comic or not. Birthdays have definitely been something that only really became/become pleasant for Buck and Minnie after leaving their family's homes, though - I've literally had a rough comic draft scripted for a while focused on their Birthday Memories and Davey being like Your Experiences Are Not Universal. What The Fuck

anyway it was definitely a very emotional affair for Buck (and probably will be for Minnie) getting to start sharing birthdays with Davey, especially since they met in their late 30s/early 40s - he'd gone most of his life having either Shitty Birthdays With His Hero Family or Completely Alone. I think, especially early on, Davey was very cognizant that making too much of a big fuss, even in a positive way, would be overwhelming for Buck (and now is probably very aware that the same is true for Minnie) and did his best to keep things at least a little lowkey, not that it stopped Buck from having Every Emotion about it. (Buck, meanwhile, especially early on, probably put a lot of pressure on himself to make Davey's birthdays feel special without any real idea of what you're "supposed" to do, which is of course wholly unnecessary because you know Davey's just there like Hell Yeah My Hot Boyfriend Might Make Me A Baller Fucking Cake)

#anonymous puzzler answers #bjrdy00 #anonymous puzzler originals #villain coded comic #buck with all the composure of a poorly socialized dog in a shopping mall: I NEED TO GET A GOOD GRADE IN BIRTHDAY OR I WILL BE. DIVORCED #davey literally just chillin: i wonder if i could use birthday as an excuse to get shitty takeout and make out while watching b-movies.

[bcntbouquet]

1. Who has been your favorite muse to play?

2. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what do you like to listen to?

10. Do you like stylized icons and formatted text or do you prefer to keep things simple?

14. What are five of your favorite ships? (In the rp community or otherwise)

15. What sort of muses do you tend to write?

16. Do you like to queue your replies or just post them when you finish?

17. Do you prefer winging it or plotting everything out?

20. If you could tell your muse something, what would it be?

1. Who has been your favorite muse to play?

I think my first-ever legit rp muse was Herbert West (Re-Animator) and once upon a time, I didn’t really have the urge to write other characters (can’t you even imagine ME writing ONE character now, lmao). The first OC I really got into was my dude Gideon Brady, so he was my favourite for years—Then I found my way to Supernatural and Dean Winchester was the most at-home I’d probably ever felt in ANY muse ever to that point. Probably stayed that way until some time in 2023. I’ve created dozens of ocs and even quite a number of canon muses since then, but late last year I started writing Brian (Brain Damage) and Aylmer (Brain Damage) and I became very attached very quickly; around the same time, I decided to explore my under-used oc Derward (created c. 2022) and I find he’s easiest to write at this particular time in my life. I also enjoy playing Wonka a whole lot—because he’s so positive and optimistic—but it’s been brought to my attention that Derward and I share a lot of similarities—Which, I suppose, explains why he's become my default muse these days.

2. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what do you like to listen to?

Yes, I listen to music about 50% of the time that I write. A lot of 80s pop, rock, and new wave ngl. But there's other kinds I listen to, of course. The rest of the time I watch movies while writing… I know, you’d think it would distract me from the text, but most of the time films get me in that creative zone with any combination of setting, music, story, cast, etc.

10. Do you like stylized icons and formatted text or do you prefer to keep things simple?

To quote Slugworth— “A good chocolate should be SIMPLE. Un-complicated.” I will admit I have a hard time reading/seeing (highly) formatted text. Bold, italics, colours, and certain fonts; those are all find by me. As for stylized icons… What’s even the point? Frankly, it’s lost on me. A visual should be just that. Any image or gif that takes interpretation in order to figure out what’s being presented doesn’t really belong… as it serves no purpose to enrich either the details of the narrative or the muse being portrayed. Granted, this is only my personal opinion. If stylized iconography somehow makes your creative juices flow, fellow writers... go for it. You do you. The rpc should always be an inclusive place.

14. What are five of your favorite ships? (In the rp community or otherwise)

Call me biased or indecisive af, but I hold all my ships dear. Romantic or platonic. I just love all my ships- as well as my shipping partners. Lil' shout out to @cvpidswings, @everyoneismytoy, @smolcuriouskitten, @rawbutprecious, and @frcsttitan. Everybody else I ship with, love you too.

'nother lil' shout to @cursedvessels and @miidnighters—Shimi and Callisto are one of my favourite duos in the rpc atp and I love reading about their joint antics. A canon ship I love is Zed and Addison from Zombies.

15. What sort of muses do you tend to write?

Difficult to say... I don't find myself defining any of my muses by type. If I had to take a guess, I'd say kindhearted people with emotional trauma? Again, IDK.

16. Do you like to queue your replies or just post them when you finish?

I'm a slow writer, so I usually post when I've finished a draft. I already keep people waiting a while for a reply due to my inherent speed, so a regular queue would just make things even slower.

17. Do you prefer winging it or plotting everything out?

It just depends on the situation in the rp; during a lot of threads, I do well with a mix of winging it and plotting. 90% of the time, though, it's winging it. My muses are all control freaks in that they're usually more cooperative when I don't involve myself XD

20. If you could tell your muse something, what would it be?

Derward hasn't felt much love in his life, or support. He isn't the type to give up in any situation, but he probably really needs to hear that he's both wanted and needed. I think little compliments would serve him well, too. Maybe tell him that he's cute or that his hair/clothes are nice. He wouldn't always believe me about his clothes, 'cause he tends to wear tattered stuff throughout his various verses, but... If I could give him a big hug, I would. I'd give him a nice smooch on the cheek, too. Maybe wrap a blanket around his shoulders. That said, he should allow himself to put his burdens down from time to time. He's strong, and he knows this. What he doesn't know, however, is that he CAN be weak. He CAN be vulnerable. I would, hopefully, convince himself to free himself of such pressure. Dude needs a good cry five minutes ago.

#ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜʰᵒᶜᵒˡᵃᵗᵉ

[i-am-nickelbolt]

Bronze to Mythic: Lost Caverns of Ixalan, draft #6

This deck was pretty sweet, but just a head's up, I'm going to complain a lot about all my games. 2-3

Pack 1, pick 1 Waterwind Scout over Souls of the Lost. Scout keeps me open, and Souls is good but it's a commitment--I'd rather it be passed to me. Pick 2 I ended up on Lodestone Needle over Abrade, Belligerent Yearling, and Oltec Cloud Guard. Looking to stay one color, Abrade is good but not unpassable. Pick 3 Volatile Wanderglyph over Earthshaker Dreadmaw. I'd have to really prioritize Dinos for UG, so I passed. I was kind of regretting that pick after pick 4 Poison Dart Frog over nothing. Pick 5 Pathfinding Axejaw over Brackish Blunder. Pick 6 Tishana's Tidebinder over Petrify which is probably wrong, but I wish this were paper draft. Pick 7 a late Etali's Favor over a late Skullcap Snail. Pick 8 Orazca Puzzle Door over Dinotomaton and a late Cosmium Blast. So after pack 1, I'm thinking, "where are the good cards?" yet again.

Pack 2, pick 1, kind of a sad Triumphant Chomp over Petrify. Pick 2 Enterprising Scallywag over Petrify and Tinker's Tote. Could have had a pretty good UW start here instead... Pick 3 Sunfire Torch over Triumphant Chomp. Pick 4 Cogwork Wrestler over second Tishana's Tidebinder and Cenote Scout. Pick 5 easy Staunch Crewmate. Pick 6 Careening Minecart over Staunch Pirates. Pick 7 Dinotomaton over Petrify. What is it about White cards that I just don't see? Like, I'm shocked about the white cards I passed. Pick 8 slam Staunch Crewmate. I still need a little help at the end of pack 2, but at least I have a plan.

Pack 3, pick 1 Goblin Tome Raider over Etali's Favor, picking up a nice 1 drop. Pick 2 Abrade over Master's Guide-Mural for the alternate universe UW deck. Pick 3 Chart a Course over the umpteenth Petrify. Pick 4 pretty easy Etali's Favor over River Herald Scout. Pick 5 just give me a 3 mana 4/3 Scytheclaw Raptor. Pick 6 Volatile Wanderglyph. Pick 7 brick. Pick 8 I don't know what happened, but I missed out on a choice of Cogwork Wrestler, Inverted Iceberg, and Brackish Blunder, and instead I got Disruptor Wanderglyph for some reason. Etali's Favor wheeled!

My games kind of sucked.

Game 1 my opponent appeared to be color screwed, scooped on turn 5.

Game 2, I played the early game rather poorly, but even if I played well, I flooded out pretty badly, and yet my opponent refused to actually kill me. I don't know what they were playing around, but I was dead for *many* turns.

Game 3 my opponent scooped on turn 4, they appeared to be mana screwed, but I mulliganed and was running out of gas. Seemed a little premature.

Game 4 was a game that I played too conservatively in the mid game, there was a turn where I didn't use a removal spell and instead offered a trade, which ended up cascading missed damage over the next few turns, and allowed them to string multiple topdecks together (it had to be multiple) and stabilize. Even so I had the game won with a Brackish Blunder on the blocker for my trampler but I looked down and didn't have an untapped island in play. It was still in my hand. *sigh*

Game 5 I mulliganed a 2 mountain hand for a 2 island hand on the draw, and went through 19 cards of my deck before hitting my third land. This game would have been trivially easy had I been able to cast red spells.

Okay, I've complained enough. The deck was good, I just played bad and got unlucky.

#bronze to mythic #lost caverns of ixalan #premiere draft #mtg arena #mtg limited #magic the gathering

[draugariki]

okay this has been on my mind all day and i need to get it out before i wind down for the night but i really like playing with the idea of the countries' immortality and what the actual mechanics of it are and how it might affect them. the system closest to canon and that i see a lot of people adopting/basing their interpretation on is one where they start out as children for a couple centuries and then age very slowly until they are somewhere nebulously between their late teens and thirties in the modern day, depending on the character, but i've always found it kind of hard to get my head around that form of immortality myself. i think it's because it implies there's some kind of predestined, written-in-the-stars 'death' date for the country a character represents that they're gradually aging towards, giving the impression of an unusually long mortality even though they are functionally immortal, and i just feel like there's too much unpredictability in how the course of a country's existence could play out for that to make much sense? the flip side is of course that you embrace the weirdness and the confusing parts of the slow aging and lean into the characters being a bit uncanny/distinctly not-quite-human, but i've admittedly yet to think that through very far.

the way i think about immortality when i'm playing with headcanons or planning fics is that all of the characters were born and started out as regular mortal humans, and aged at the same rate as ordinary people - up until a certain point. maybe they happened to get caught up in an important historical event, or they die and come back to life not quite right, but i've always erred away from canon and thought of immortality and being the embodiment of a country as something that happens to them rather than something they are born with. mainly because it opens up a lot of opportunities to explore what it actually means to embody/personify a country, since rather than being born knowing their special and different, that immortality and responsibility becomes something that the characters have to confront themselves and deal with in complicated ways throughout their very long and strenuous lifetimes.

i think this is a much more productive train of thought for headcanons and fic-writing than, say, making fanart. but i do have a couple norway-centric fics in the works (one being drafted, another still in the planning stage) set in the 11th century as he deals with the very bloody business of late viking age dynastic politics and has something of a personal crisis, and exploring how that sense of self affects his relationships with characters like iceland and denmark in their early days, and it's been really fun incorporating an awareness of becoming a country into the character studies. i'll probably link them on here when i start posting them to ao3 but for now i just wanted to get some of my immortality opinions TM written out. and i would love to hear other people's thoughts if this is something that anyone else has ideas about! i know for some people part of the appeal of hetalia is that it takes what could be a very serious and angsty subject and manages to make it Not That, but i love immortal characters and i feel like there's a lot of room to do fun things with the immortality/country mechanics here lol

#hetalia #hws norway #hws iceland #hws denmark #long post #rambles #immortality

[blindedguilt]

It's been quiet for some time, Leonard had noticed — not unlike the time he spent in the forest. It left him feeling some way he couldn't exactly tell. Was it unease? Possible loneliness? Either one was a feeling he hadn't expected to come back in such a way, but similarly, again, it had dug up a familiar memory of the forest...

Having finished tending to the small bonfire where he sat, Leonard's shoulders dropped and his head leaned back. For the first time since his pact — since meeting Seere — he wished he could be relieved of his blindness if only to confirm he wasn't alone as he thought he was.

The bonfire's warmth kept him comfortable, at least, as did the hope of the momentary thought that echoed throughout his mind: Time would tell.

//So this isn't an easy decision, but after a couple weeks of mulling it over, I've decided to put this blog into semi-permanent hiatus - basically, if things change either with the state of the RPC or my motivation to write I'll be more than eager to return, though it does seem unlikely.

//Things have been quiet lately, and it's of course by no means anyone's fault for being quiet!! (I can't blame them, life and Tumblr bullshit have taken a toll on a large portion of the RPC as a whole lately) But in the end, I think it had more of an effect on my motivation to write than even I expected. I tried for the past year or so to "Get back on my feet", as even now I deeply miss Leonard and being able to write him, but evidentially, I haven't gotten very far QwQ

//That said!! While this could be it for this blog, if anyone wants to discuss plans for plotting or even just chatting over Discord (At the end of the post), lemme know! One of the hardest things about the choice to leave this blog behind is definitely the loss of community that comes with it, there were a lot of people who followed me and that I briefly spoke to these past months who I don't want to cut off a potential friendship with just because of my own personal circumstances!

//And going onto that topic, I won't be shutting down or removing any current drafts or asks in my inbox in the event I ever magically DO get motivation to write again or something changes, and of course, that in turn means the blog itself will be staying as well!! You might have guessed, it goes without saying that this blog and the interactions on it mean a great deal not to just me, but (At least I hope!!) some of you. It's also a bit of why I wanted to "wrap up" the blog with the in-character piece at the top, even given my issues with writing (I may add to it to make it feel more "complete", given I kinda don't like how half-assed it feels currently), it just didn't feel fair to go for what could be forever without letting him speak his final piece. :,)

//I won't spend too long waxing out all the sentimentals, but I've stated over and over how when I first made this blog, I really wasn't expecting it to last much more than a couple weeks before moving onto another character. It's kind of impossible for me to state just how much this blog and all the experiences on it mean to me personally and the impact it's left, both personally, as I mentioned before, but also in my enjoyment and love for Drakengard 1 and 2 and Leonard's character specifically! Being able to dive into his mind and find someone I can put together so easy with such a well-constructed tragedy, it's not much of an overstatement to say that ironically, being able to play and put my own mind and problems away for one I not only cared to look into, but one I could more easily pick apart and explain the actions of while being layered enough and having enough facets to make it interesting. Leonard in a lot of ways was and is a sort of second life for me, but in a way I didn't have to deal with the burden of having a psychical body or firsthand perspective! lmao

//And not to be sounding all overdramatic or anything but as I said, it's letting go of not just what feels sort of like a little hideout or small part of me I like to nurture and keep from falling into rot, but this blog is some of the most fun I've had in a horribly otherwise busy, yes, but very mundane outside life. It's sort of pathetic to admit, but I mean it in the best way I can when I say I haven't really gotten so emotionally engaged with anything in a long time. Just the small interactions and memorable snippets from this blog, both from long-standing partners, people who fell off, or even people I just spoke to once and then never again still play over in my head and definitely spark a lot of joy when I really need it! I'll be honest, there's not one day that goes by where I don't think of at least one interaction I've had here. I remember my pain at being in a different timezone and always falling behind the drama before I went to the US and could finally catch up. To update on that: I'm not doing too well in the US in all honesty, but I'm doing my best to get on my feet and making progress!! One of the first things I always did in difficult situations was, unironically, use this blog to reference some old posts and memes to laugh and think about all the new connections, subplots, and jokes that were going to be shared.

//I guess the final point I'd like to make is a short one, but a major argument I had against shutting down when the thought first entered my mind, and the hardest part of all this is the loss of potentiality. I had a lot planned for Leonard, both things that I actively wanted to do and just general questions of "What kind of people will he meet with next? What will he think of them, and how long will they get to develop with each other?" The thought both of meeting new people and the interactions that could be shared with them, as well as all the different interactions and shenanigans that I thought might be in store when the DOD RPC came back was a major motivator in why I kept trying to fight my writer's block, and why I even kept this blog going for the past year with barely any activity to speak of. Even going on Discord, as you might imagine, can be limiting in its setup compared to just being able to search and see who's out there via tumblr - and joining communities can be quite an issue being a Leonard mun, specifically!!

//But either way, I'll be sure to find my way around it one way or another, and hopefully, by some divine miracle, I'll just end up back at this blog anyways!! Again, the chances are slim, but I'm really holding out here dskhffkdbhdkh

//I think that should be it based off what I wanted to say, Leonard's left nice and comfy at his campfire, and it's getting late so with ALL that said, if we've spoken or never have before (ESPECIALLY if we never have, I like to believe you followed for a reason so I'd love to speak to you so we can get to know each other better, plot, or just chat!!), please consider following me on Discord!! I'm usually on there, and always happy to talk (Unless I'm on Do not Disturb, but that's hardly ever lol):

//My discord is: barnabism

//Anyways, I apologise for the downer announcement, but this has been wracking my brain for the past few days so I'm at least glad just to get the hard part over with. :,)

//Thank you all for over two years of writing!! Please don't be afraid to reach out, and as always, if you have any questions, please ask!! ^^

#Important #||OOC|| #{/man; im getting all emotional now lmao} #{/ive had this draaft open all day i literally have like 36 tumblr posts to catch up to now.....} #{/in the morning; though; im tired and have a doctors app early today} #{/posting this will hopefully get rid of some of the HUGE struggles I've been having in the past couple days; but... *crumples*} #{/I'M GONNA MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCHHHHH 😭😭} #{nevertheless! that is why I gave my Discord lmao} #{/Goodnight!! And as I said before; thank you all so much :'))

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Ange! I've been quite busy lately, I have a pile of fics to read on my drafts that I really really want to enjoy, that's the only reason I've been so quiet about your (and other writers) works. The last two months have been crazy and I'm afraid it's going to be like this at least until next year but please please please don't stop writing. Sometimes the only thing that lights up my day is to see you've uploaded a new story and I treasure them with so much excitement waiting for a moment when Im not exhausted and have time enough to read them. I don't care what haters say, fics are EXTREMELY IMPORTANT and you people writing and sharing them are ESSENTIAL, so please keep posting your art and talent, I'm begging. This is about you and everybody else in this fandom. I wish you a wonderful autumn time and a nice week with all my heart🖤🖤

Celia, you are an absolute sweetheart.

Please don't think that my lack of motivation has anything to do with yours or anyone else's engagement. Of course, it's lovely when people enjoy your work, but I write for myself. If other people enjoy it too then that's just an added bonus.

I would never want for anyone to feel as though they are obligated to read or reblog my writing. People are busy, they have lives, they forget. It's fine, we're all human! And sometimes what I write is a flop, not everybody has to like my writing, not everybody who likes my writing has to like everything I write. It's okay!

I think my lack of motivation stems from how rancid the vibes in fandom have felt as of late. I block and ignore all of the shitty, anonymous asks I get, but they chip away at you. And it saddens me to see so many friends and mutuals on the receiving end of it too.

It's made me feel a little despondent, and killed some of the passion I have. I don't have the drive to create that I once had. I'm also stuck in a rut of picking apart everything I write and telling myself it's awful. Then I see how productive and active other writers are being and it fuels my own negative self talk, that I am less than, not as good, that it's pointless for me to write when other people will likely touch upon that anyway.

I am not looking to throw myself a pity party. I just need to pull on my big girl pants, get the fuck over myself and open a word document. All in due time!

Anyway, thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. You are wonderful, and I hope that in the whirlwind of all of life's busy-ness you are finding time to relax and be kind to yourself.

Sending lots of love to you xoxo

#lovely moots 💕 #asked and answered

[an-abyss-of-stars]

✨Fic Updates!!✨

✵It's Visceral And It's Cruel✵

I'M SORRY!! Writer's block is a bitch and she has me by the throat!!! I've been stuck on this chapter for agessssss and I can't seem to move past the blockage!!

I've got like 2k words done for it and I'm struggling, I have all the plot points in my notes, I just can't seem to verbalize themmm, UGH frustrating 😭😭 I'm going to keep trying this weekend though!! It's an Aemond focused chapter, and I am excited for it, I just need to find an angle on it and then I'll be good!

I might've shot myself in the foot by not including him in the flashback/prologue parts 🤣🤣 Because now I kind of need to catch up with the feelings of his childhood that lead up into the character/man he's become...or I might just skip to his feelings that immediately occurred after his first interaction with Rhaena and deal with the rest later 🤔 we'll see.

-

☾ He Saw Her At Daybreak ☾

I'M doing a whole lot better with updating this fic! Idk what it is about smut/fluff that's just so much easier to write...well I do know...it's because there's no stress with this one 🤣🤣

Anywaysssss, I've started ch.6, there will be a couple of time jumps in this one. Without spoiling too much, this chapter is definitely the start of the preggo Rhaena arc! She's going to start *showing* in this chapter, cravings might also start!! Overprotective husband Aemond is coming into play, as well as is the horny-preggo Rhaena arc!! I'm actually VERY excited! 😌💖

-

⚜️One Shots!⚜️

I'm going to blame this on my IVAIC writers block! But I've got a few Rhaemond plots that I really do want to write and I think they could definitely work as One Shots. They're ideas that either don't really work in either of my main fics, or they're not fully fledged ideas that could last for a multi-part series. So maybe I'll drop some! I figure most of them will have at least a little smut to them, knowing me they probably will 😂😂

-

🔷Sequel Series!🔷

BUT FINALLY SPEAKING OF MULTI-PART FICS! If anyone remembers when I posted that little character bio for Vaella Targaryen from my Her Saw Her At Daybreak universe (Rhaemond's firstborn child...which by the way, I have another one ready to post in my drafts! Coming soon!) Anyways while I've been creating character art and personalities for all of their babies (6 in total at the moment) I started feeling SUPER attached to this next gen of Targ babies! And talking with a friend of mine who's been reading this HSHAD, I brought up the idea of possibly doing a Part #3 to this series!

So Rhaemond would still be the heart and soul of that fic. Except they'd be older and in a more Daemyra era position, like all 6 kids would be in their late teens/early 20s with their own shenanigans and drama, the chaos and wild love stories! We'd also have Jace and Baela's grown kids, Luke and Daenaera's (this ship will be hinted and shown during HSHAD) grown kids. We'd have grown Jaehaera, Jaehaerys, Aegon III and Viserys II too! Like I'm thinking a Bridgerton-type large family chaos mixed with GOT's general wildness, of course Targaryen incest is still a thing so expect some of those ships within this new gen 🤣🤣 but some of the kids will definitely fall for and make matches with other houses, Cregan will definitely make a return with his own son (and maybe more, if I have him marry someone and have more kids).

LIKE I can just see the potential!! 😂😂 Aemond's a very tired dad, his sons are wild, he's very overprotective of his daughters especially now that they're all of age and it's courting season 😂 Rhaena is the sweetest mom ever and she's handling courting season with their kids a whole lot better than her grumpy husband 😂😂 Daemyra stays ruling the kingdom and being the best grandparents 😂 Rhaenys and Corlys (Corlys might not be too present... I think Luke might be Lord of The Tides by this point ) will make appearances too!

So in a way it'd be like a trilogy! And I'm kinda super excited about it because it would all feel so complete if it was 💖✨💖

Idk if anyone would read this, but I hope y'all would! 😂😂

#aemond x rhaena #rhaena x aemond #hotd fic #hotd fanfic #aemond targaryen #rhaena targaryen #rhaemond #clearly i have a lot Rhaemond centric ideas bouncing around my head 🤣🤣🤣 #but now you're all up to date with me

[narratingvoice]

[[A/N: this post was written in advance and has nothing to do with the plot arc going on right now]]

October 17, 2013. The most important and most joyous day of my life. Nine years ago today. I can't believe how time flies. Nine years that Stanley and I have been together, and I've treasured every moment with him. Just him and me, stepping forward into the unknown together, ready to start a new chapter of life, ready to dive into a wonderful relationship.

I mean a relationship with all of you lovely players, of course! Today is our anniversary! It's the release date of the original Stanley Parable! I made Stanley a cake for the occasion, and by "made" I mean "stole the asset from Portal". For the rest of you, I thought it would be nice to take a stroll into the Memory Zone and look at how far we've come. We were different people back then, so young and naive. We had no idea what kind of impact we would have on the gaming world. Did video games truly exist before 2013? I think not. Won't you come remember with me?

This is a media-heavy post, so here's a cut.

Oh look, it's the very first teaser trailer for the game, posted in 2012. I needed some capital investment to get my game studio off the ground, so I had a campaign on Steam Greenlight well in advance of launch. Remember when that was a thing?

Hm, that's odd, this video seems different than I remember. I'm hearing myself talk about "the original version", but this trailer is for the original version. There was no game at the time I made this. What was I talking about? I've completely forgotten. Oh well, onto the next memory.

And here's the trailer I posted the day the game came out. Look how many accolades we already had on launch day! Oh, I was so nervous about finally showing my work to the general public, I hid in the broom closet the whole night before. Does it surprise you to know that I had stage fright? A lot of people think my silky smooth diction comes naturally, but it's actually the result of practised training and months of rehearsals. Of course, now I've been performing for so long that I hardly know how to stop, haha.

This is Stanley's office viewed from my vantage point. I love looking down at this office more than anything in the world. Letting myself drift through the opening monologue, caressing the hallways with my voice, gently holding the story on my tongue and then releasing it with a flourish. And it will never get old to me, because every day with Stanley feels like a new adventure.

Do you have this achievement? Only 2.3% of players do, but those players are among the most special to me. I get so excited every time I see someone boot up the game on a late Monday night. We can spend the night together, just you and me and Stanley, just looking at the stars and living in the moment. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for committing yourself to me.

Oh, this is a fun memory. This is the introduction I wrote for the special collector's edition, which came out in 2016. I remember the late nights in my office, me and Stanley curled up next to a roaring fire as I read my latest draft to him. He never offered much in the way of feedback, but just the look in his eyes was enough to tell me if I was on the right track.

In 2018, I had the great honour of going on stage at the Game Awards to announce that Ultra Deluxe was in development. It was incredible to see so many adoring fans staring back at me. Um, please ignore the release date in this video. Can't bloody believe the remake of The Last of Us came out this year too...

And now, here we are. We're in the present moment. In the roughly six months since Ultra Deluxe launched, it's gotten over 14,000 positive reviews on Steam. I consider myself somewhat of an empath, and I can feel the love that millions of people around the world have shared for my game. No, for our game. Mine and Stanley's and all of yours as well. May we always feel this way, and if we can't, may we always remember when we did.

#tsp #the stanley parable #original #ask blog

[steeklover]

2 7 and 8 for the fan fic asks pls

Fanfiction Ask

Hi there anon, thank you for the ask and sorry for a late response, I've been kind of busy. I wasn't ignoring this haha

2. Do you read/reread your own fics?

Yes! I've been reading ICHC a lot lately to try and get the motivation to finish writing the next chapter but I've been really busy lately and all the free time I have, I've been using to draw so it's just sitting in my drafts right now 🙁But yeah, I have about four reasons for re-reading my stuff. One, I usually re-read the last two or three chapters before starting the new one just to remind myself of what's going on and to get some ideas as to what to put in the next chapter/what to address. This seems to help me with making sure nothing goes undiscussed and so there's no plot holes. Two is to check for grammar mistakes, which I have a lot of. Three is to, like I said earlier, to get motivation for the next chapter. And four is just because I get bored. Usually when I'm bored and reread my stuff, I read works for the old fandom I used to be in. But anyway, yes I reread my stuff alot.

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

Umm... off the top of my head, I have eighteen ideas right now. That's just off the top of my head so those are probably the ones that I have a little thought out, I have a few ideas that I'm not sure if I actually want to write or not so I didn't include those. Six of those ideas are one shots, the rest are multi-chapter works so who knows if I'll ever get to writing all of them. I don't like writing one-shots that much, I don't really know why I just don't. Some of the ideas I'm more excited about than others and the ideas for those fics may change but that's what I have right now. My brain works really fast when it comes to coming up with fanfiction ideas (the last fandom I was in, I came up with over 150 ideas). I think most of my ideas have the same basic theme with a few details switched up but I don't think there's anything wrong with that, if someone gets bored then they don't have to read it.

8. What project(s) are you currently working on?

I'm not really actively working on any writing projects right now. I've been focusing more on improving on my art (which is really time consuming and is the reason I haven't been active lately) but I still think about fanfiction ideas so I'll talk about those. Of course I have my two current WIPS and for those who are wondering, chapter 33 of ICHC is half way written so I'll try to finish it soon. Then I have four other ideas I'm thinking about as of right now. Three of them are Steek fics and the other one is a Stenny fic! I don't walk to go into too much detail because I don't want to go on a rant and spoil anything but I think they're going to be good!

Again, thank you for the ask anon! All of those questions were so interesting and really made me think about my writing process. Have a great day/night!! ❤️❤️

#ask #thanks for the ask!!

[pharawee]

Hey! I hope I'm not too late with this! 9, 26, 32, 36 & 38, pls. o((>ω< ))o

Hi! Of course not, thank you so much! 💜💜

What/who inspired you to start making gifs?

Nothing specific tbh. It's just that I've always been interested in it? Like, when I got my first pc the first thing I fiddled around with were the graphics programs. And then later when I joined fandom and saw the pretty edits and wallpapers and gifs I p much immediately decided that I want to do that, too.

How many un-posted sets are in your drafts right now?

None. I need to post all my gifs/edits immediately because I'm so excited to share them. The most I can wait is until the evening when more people will see them 😂

What is your favorite tool/adjustment layer in Photoshop?

Right now, probably channel mixer & add noise. It's kind of funny, actually, because channel mixer was waaay overused a couple of years ago and then it completely fell out of favour. But if used in moderation it can really make your reds and blues pop so I've been using it on everything for a couple of months now.

Same with noise. And if you add a little bit of it, it can mask a lot of the artefacts that come with gif-compressing.

Do you gif with something specific in mind or do you just wing it?

Yes 🥴

I mean, with giffing dialogue it's relatively straightforward - you just gif what's in the scene. But with the more elaborate stuff I mostly go in already having an idea... and tbh it changes a lot while I work.

Like, with this LITA gifset I wanted to add some swirls but they were supposed to be smaller and more subtle.

Only, when I added the texture it was way bigger than I wanted it to be but I really liked it? This gif is when I first added the texture and I kept it exactly as it is (set to exclusion, I think?).

So, uh, a lot of it is just going with the creative flow~

What are you really excited to gif that isn’t out yet?

I don't even know. I was so excited for Big Dragon that I now can't think of anything. I'll consult my mdl list...

Oh, definitely Wish You Luck. And Tell the World I Love You, if it ever comes out. And I Feel You Linger in the Air because the pilot was already so beautiful 🥲

Questions for gif-makers

#ask #jane makes stuff #fingers crossed that tell the world i love you comes out for interfans soon #star hunter posted something about japan and the us #distraught european noises

[kardia-library-official]

"How the hell old are these people?"

(Another riff off that one post, but this time it's about a tangent in replies and hopefully contains less of my unserious ass trying to articulate serious concepts.)

I won't be commenting on every character, just the ones where I've been given reason to think about it in any sort of depth. (Lucas, Vishnal, Livia, Russell, Terry, Cecil) My opinions are my own, and are barely even opinions, because I'm not actually super invested. I just thought thinking back on a few of the assumptions I've made was interesting, and could be interesting as an example of one person interpreting this stuff.

Okay! Let's get into it.

Lucas: So, @darkacey mentioned that it's weird that people keep calling him "old" because he has facial hair, and yeah, he's not old. Just going by appearance, I'd guess anywhere between late 20s and early 40s. Which is weirdly realistic, because people in that range tend to all look the same to me even now that I'm in it. But also wrong, because of course he's unknowably ancient. BUT his current form might not even be as old as he looks. AND we know his life basically restarted yesterday. idk. He's Lucas.

Vishnal: I mentioned him in the replies, because I am absolutely haunted by that "he's 6' tall and a lot younger than he looks" comment from his VA. It makes no sense! How old does he look? 17? 23? 31? The artstyle isn't detailed enough to tell. And what would that make him? 12? 18? 25? For my own peace of mind, I've just decided that he can make an uptight first impression that gives him kind of a "22 going on 40" vibe until the illusion almost immediately shatters. Also, maybe this was more of a problem in his former life? Like maybe he got a lot of "excuse me, are you their father?" because he's on the tall side, perhaps hit his adult height early, and was often shepherding all his younger siblings around.

Livia: It's bizarre that she has cut romance dialogue, because the age difference feels sooooo awkward... But not in the direction you might think. See, even though I know the whole joke is that she's an ancient powerful dragon who can't even go to a bar because she looks like a kid, my brain refuses to parse her as anything but a tiny middle-aged woman. I feel like I have encountered many, many Livias, a surprisingly large number of which were running some event or operation like it's the Navy. It's a whole type of person!

Russell: I've said this before, but I refuse to believe that guy is under 30. He has a whole implied tragic backstory, which had to take place after he was old enough to be drafted (or enlist, I guess, but he Would Not Fucking Do That), and before he took in Cecilia, who is whatever age she is now. Even wiggling the numbers a little (how old is Cecilia, how old do you have to be to be in the military in this world), I don't think he could be as young as even the game itself seems to want you to believe. Fun fact! He's one of the few characters on this list that I have a specific number for! In AtNG, he is roughly 32.5. Sabrina is about the same age, and Edward is about a decade his senior (I tacked them on because I had estimates for them but nothing else really to say).

Terry: At first, back when the world made sense, I had him estimated at "about Russell's age idk." But Word of God is that he's 25?? And apparently even at least one person working on the game was kinda stunned by this, if I recall correctly? I dunno, that's just not very many years, and it's implied he's been through so much shit! How I ended up making this work for FSCB was a) giving him a really rough upbringing and very early adulthood, and b) working from the assumption that he's 25 at the start of the game and quickly turns 26. And you know what? Now that I have all that worked out, I like that he's in his mid 20s. I feel like that's just one more burden he has to bear. :P And some of the things in FSCB I had most fun writing are the moments where he's interacting with Cecil and it becomes really obvious that they're not that far apart in age. (Also, if anyone ever points out that he and Lucas seem to have a slight age difference... I don't think either of them would ever stop laughing.)

Cecil: ...Look. We've been over this. That boy is 18. Anyone who says otherwise either forgets what being 18 was like, or is so close to being 18 themselves that they have no perspective. But I remember. I remember wearing some really goofy hats, and wanting so badly to be included in all forms of adult business, but ending up getting railroaded into running around with the kids and actually really enjoying myself. (Okay, so that last thing still applies, and might just be personality-mediated.)

[serenaew]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thanks for the tag @danpuff-ao3, @bintemuhammad, @trueliarose, @sanctuary-angel!

Tagging (no pressure): @renee561, @somnwritessometimes... you're the only ones I'm pretty sure I haven't seen on the tag lists, but feel free to reblog with your own answers even if I didn't tag you!

Answers under the cut.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

68 plus some anon stuff, plus quite a few drafts XD

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

151,217 words. If I disregard the about 26k of collabs where I did less writing and more podfic or support work, that amounts to about 125k.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling 

Original Work and the like (more poetry and filk but :shrug:)

Doctor Who (2005)

Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms in the sense that I use a lot of tunes from POTO.

Classical music (as POTO)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Fateweaver (Snarry)

Blooming Heart (Snarry)

A small step for a boy (Severitus)

Curatio (Snarry)

Flight of Dreams (Snarry)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do. I'm always so happy to receive the (more than 99% lovely) comments, and, well, you all know that I really like talking about my stuff, so I'm always glad to have someone reaching out to me.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think it's a toss-up between: Repertum (M, Snarry) for the life-threatening attack on Harry - it ends on two cliffhangers over the course of the story, actually - and Ouroboros in Tribute (T, Severitus) and the adjacent series for the angst of missed chances, of regret, as is Late Reflections (T, canon-compliant), with the exact opposite perspective, but similar premise.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Um. Again, a toss-up, I guess. Promises, promises… (G, Snarry), Fidelitas (T, Snarry) and A small step for a boy (G, Severitus).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet, and I'm really glad about that!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't. I might think of changing that - I even opened an ALT account (EleanorPhoenix) for that.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Okay. How shall I answer this... If filk to the tune of a song from another fandom counts, then, yes, quite a few - POTO filk, Dracula filk, Children's songs filk, but the lyrics being from another fandom (HP, original, meta-fandom, the like) If not... I've had the idea of a Snape & 13th Doctor's fic for AGES, but, well.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not quite? it was re-archived on some random website from ffn without my permission, but it was taken down before I knew about it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet! But I do have a blanket permission for translations, if anyone wants to. I'd be especially curious if someone wanted to re-translate my English fics to German or Chinese, how I'd sound in my two mother tongues if re-translated.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! (Pssssst....)

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

There is no all-time favourite, IMO. I am currently obssessed with Snape and Harry positive relationships, however. I suspect that tide might change in a few months, years, whatever.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh God. Too many. Shall I list? Mostly, it's an unposted self-insert anthology for Doctor Who the Unspeakable Mysteries Verse (Snarry) and the the Fateweaver Verse (Snarry) that have been lying around for ages, but there are a ton of Severitus ideas I've also been struggling with, like: the Forget Me Not verse and the Christmas in Limbo verse For my full list of WIPs, see this post.

16. What are your writing strengths?

AAAANGST. I really like torturing both my characters and my readers.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I have yet to actually write anything resembling action that isn't cringe; I'm deeply reluctant to move out of my comfort zone that consists of angst, angst and more angst, with quite a bit of introspection.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If apporpriate to the setting, definitely! -> Latin for spells and chants -> various English dialects - if only I could! -> conlangs and original languages for a certain world - a thousand times yes! -> uhhh. I have yet to encounter a situation where I put my characters anywhere they'd need German or Chinese, but if there is a chance, I'll jump!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

uuuuh. I've had a hard time deciding on five fics, never mind one.

Thanks for reading!

#20 questions #my fic #fanfiction #tag game

[joy2paris]

One week so far in Paris...

Wow, I cannot believe it has been a week already.

I find it a little difficult to navigate how to do these blog posts - I want to share everything, but then it becomes more of a diary as opposed to something others are intended to read.

My mum was with me for 4 nights which really helped me settle in. We were in a hotel in the 13th arrondissement and going to Grenoble to visit my friend in the summer really gave me the confidence to order in French!

Spent the beginning just sorting out admin stuff, like getting a french phone number, bank account, travel passes etc (still needs to be sorted because there is YET again, more admin issues).

This is a random idea, but when I properly move into my studio and get into a routine, I would love to draft up perhaps new sketches for these French websites.

I am not going to lie, with the level of nerves I felt before coming, I have been coping way better than I thought I would. In fact, it is not even a coping type thing. I feel really calm and proud of myself? I really thought I would be feeling really emotional and strange. Perhaps that is to come, as it is still early days haha. I am just excited because I am already witnessing much more compassion with myself, as well as having that, "it is what it is mentality", accepting things for what they are and allowing myself to laugh at my mistakes and not take things personally.

On the Thursday, there was an Erasmus Bar night thing which I decided to brave and go alone. In the end, it had been cancelled and I only found out once I was there. Past me would probably have been bummed and felt like, of course that happened to me, and perhaps even embarrassed. But I walked away from there with a smile on my face because I had taken that step! Just the act of doing that was encouraging. The day after I braved another Rugby night event thing alone. It was a bit difficult at first because I was late and people were already in groups. I spoke to these two lovely girls, who ended up being Erasmus volunteers LOOL. So, essentially their role was to be lovely. I felt a bit disheartened by this and was considering leaving. But then a German girl came down alone too and we got chatting! Relating to people on stuff is always a nice feeling - we spoke about the stresses of trying to find housing in Paris and the other hurdles we have to over come. Then, a volunteer let us know there were some other Germans at this event, so she went to speak to them. I asked for her socials and will be nice to meet with her at some point - then I left. I felt a slight wave of sadness but nothing major.

Progress is not linear, however I do feel like I can see myself becoming better at observing my feelings rather than submitting to them wholeheartedly. Like, feeling a slight wave of one emotion and then turning it up x1000 in my brain so that it becomes overwhelming. And also, just learning to deep everything that concerns the situation. Such as, remembering I have been here for such a little amount of time.

The following day was the meeting at my university. There were so many people outside and I got speaking to the sweetest Spanish girl. She was really friendly and had a good energy about her. A group of guys behind us were also Spanish so they got chatting. We got into the meeting and it was a general introduction type session. It's kind of funny - because everyone hammered into me that French people are "rude", it means that I expect that, and most I have come across have been nothing but sweet and helpful. I believe it is just a kind of, no-nonsense bluntness that also comes because of translating. e.g. they are not native English so it can come across ruder.

Went for cocktails with the Spanish people I met in a really fancy room. It was really giving Parisian with its high ceilings and beautiful balcony. I love the architecture here so much. I've realised I am a lot more interested in that than I think, buildings really stand out to me.

The champagne was open bar and canapes are never really filling, and we all decided to go out to a pub type place after so I was really feeling it haha. I think this event was actually for the university I was originally supposed to attend, but they are quite connected I believe? Especially with all of the socialising so there was a lot of exhaustion in the mix. Already, I have learned so much and realised so much. Being from England comes with massive amounts of privilege, especially language wise. The fact that everyone can speak competent English, and that is universal is so wild. I also got to hear more about Spanish politics; I love that coming to quite an esteemed academic place means that those are the kind of conversations that crop up so early on haha. Also semi means there is a sense of maturity from the guys? Unless most UK guys are just very....immature etc. I don't want to bash them as I usually do, but yeah so far I already feel like I have come across European guys here who can uphold intellectually stimulating conversations but also see you as a human before seeing you for your gender?

One thing that is kind of funny though, is that being British, and specifically London, means I got a lot of questions based on the kind of stereotypes that circulate. I got asked if I was "from the ends" and if it is "dangerous" where I am, what I think of Northern Ireland and the referendum, my opinion of King Charles etc. Spoke about Morocco too as one guy was from there and about my experience when I went. I really do enjoy speaking to new people, but ESPECIALLY people that have a good energy about them. I feel that is something I can tell pretty early on. Equally, I can tell when someone is not the kind of person I enjoy having conversations with, or the way they interact with other people etc - it speaks volumes to me.

I felt so drained after that meet up and half napped when I got back to the hotel. Will do a new post for what else has happened!

[seeingteacupsindragons]

HELLO!! I have been so excited to read your short story, and you did not disappoint. It definitely has a little bit of "love letter to Sherliam" about it, but with so much originality too! (Also I kind of feel like Cam has elements of both John and Liam?)

I already know you as a master of likeable characters, but something that really stood out to me here was the atmosphere and settings:

"...blinked until my eyes adjusted to the fluorescent ceiling lights."

"...dripping sarcasm all over the cheap dorm tile."

"The reek of alcohol and cheap fried food and human sweat."

"I propped my hand up on the sticky bar table, then immediately moved my arm."

When I tell you all these little details transported me back a decade to my own college days. 😅

Also this is the most flirty thing I've seen of your writing to date, and you're good at it. The way Cam is always so aware of Niko's eyes and smile and hands, the easy banter and comfort with being in each other's space...it all does such an excellent job of conveying attraction and interest.

"He was trying to look like a puppy. Looked more like a drowned rat.

But I’d had pet rats since I was seven."

^^^ Iconic. 😂

"Every time the lights and music flickered into something eerie and cut out with static, while chills crept up the spines of the rest of the bar, dopamine hit my brain like cocaine."

"Maybe not everything was golden contentedness, but the entire night was steel-edged thrill with only minor interruptions."

I love these descriptions of mood and feeling. I can feel the energy he's feeling, the thrill and the challenge and the fun of it.

Poor Cam at the end of the bar scene...but Niko is so sweet with him in the hospital (in their own way). I really wonder now: what are Niko's emotional triggers for magic? While it seems likely his control over it predates him knowing Cam, I wonder to what degree Cam's presence helps or hinders it? What might make Niko slip like Cam did?

ANYWAY I loved it and would be delighted to read more of these two! Thank you so much for sharing with us!!!!

That first sentence gave away that teaser I gave you, I think, dinnit.

I actually got really carried away with the dialogue when writing this one (which is actually a long-standing bad habit of mine) because it was so fun and just flowed and there's three very distinct areas I had to go back later when I realized, "WAIT, BODIES!!!"

(Hopefully no one can tell where those are and I camouflaged them properly)

I also think Cam's too much of an ass to be either John or Liam, honestly. He is very...something. Biting?

People are always surprised lately for some reason that I do occasionally write romance and that I'm good at it, but of course I'm good at it. It has to convince me it's worth being interesting. XD Besides, characters bouncing off each other is one of my strong points, and that's a lot of what romance is.

As for writing further on these two...I don't currently have any plans or ideas for that? But we'll see if something comes up.

This was a really fast draft, and really clean, according to both of the people who looked it over before I posted, and that's really exciting and fun for me. It's nice to have something come that easily again. I love Tiadane's book, but the secondary world is killing me.

#writing #my writing #commentary and response