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grasslandgirl · 1 year

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ANON HAS ME IN A MOOD! 2 FOR LAURENTMAKOTO

i love you so dearly i am blowing kisses to u

presumablyh this is in reference to this fic asks list i reblogged earlier?

2: What scene did you first put down?

this is actually an easy answer! i have two emails i sent myself late at night back in june when i first started conceptualizing keiko fic right before your birthday with the early drafts of the first scene from the fic and the scene from the end where laurent and makoto are at the restaurant!! mostly i wrote chronologically, but i remember having a really clear idea for the restaurant scene right before i went to bed and wanting to get it down- hence the emails to myself the night before i started writing the fic itself!! <3

ill put the screenshots and id's below the cut but ty for sending in the ask <3 its fun that keiko fic has a more clear and demonstrable answer than most other fics ive written, for which the answer would probably just be "uhh probably the first scene. i had an idea and i started writing." skfjnskfjbs

[ID: two screenshots of text on a white background. the first reads:

Makoto didn’t imagine being a father.

Well, technically that wasn’t true. Makoto Edamura’s stopped dreaming about being a dad- about having a family- when his father went to jail. When he was a kid, his mom always said he was just like his father. Makoto remembered standing in the living room, dinner burning on the stove, as he and his mother watched the television in baffled horror. The truth of his father’s actions falling into a pile at their feet as the grainy footage showed him being escorted into a police car over and over again. How could he ever dare to dream of having a family, after knowing how many families his father had broken apart- including their own.

besides, all the garbage trauma tied up in his dad aside, Makoto was an aspiring former con man- he didn’t lead a life or have friends that suited children.

So even if he could never stifle a smile when he passed a park full of running, screaming children; or if he sometimes dreamed of clipping a little cat clip into a little girl’s hair; or if the one time he saw Laurent flirting with a young mother, sweeping her babbling infant out of her arms and pressing a brief kiss to its head with a luminous smile- it didn’t matter. None of it did.

Because it was less that Makoto didn’t imagine being a father, and more that he couldn’t afford to imagine it.

the second screenshot reads:

“Wait.” Makoto puts his fork down. Then he puts both his hands on the table, leans forward and skewers Laurent with a glare as forceful as he can manage while not knocking over the ridiculous wine he bought for the table. “Is this a date?”

Laurent’s smile is studied and careful. But Makoto can read him well enough to see the twitch of his eye and the tremble in his fingers as he flexes them once, twice, atop his napkin. Makoto knows him well enough to recognize the rare signs of nervousness on Laurent.

“Darling,” he answers with an oil slick grin. (The pet name makes something hot seize up in Makoto’s stomach that has nothing to do with dinner or the wine.) “We’re raising a child together. We’ve been living together across the globe for years. I bought you the most expensive wine on the menu-“

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” Makoto grouses, interrupting him, because he refuses to make anything easy for Laurent- even this. If that’s what this even is.

Laurent’s smile grows, and he inclines his head in indulgent acquiescence. “Makoto.” Makoto’s eye twitches, an involuntary tick in response to Laurent using his given name, instead of one of his stupid nicknames and pet names. He can’t decide which he prefers. “Would you like a ring? Would that help you feel more secure?” Laurent’s tone is light, with the same manicured artifice he brings to every con. It’s so pristine that it’s hard to see the man beneath the confidence; but Makoto can.

Makoto does.

Beneath the teasing and the flirting is a genuine question. A genuine offer- to buy Makoto a ring. And abruptly he’s stuck with the scale of it all: their life together. That behind every word, under every smile, between every gesture and con and secret and stupid fucking nickname has been this: Laurent asking for Makoto to stay. Asking for them to have a life together. Proving that this- Makoto- is something he wants.

But because Laurent is Laurent, he can never say anything straight out. He has to make it into a puzzle for Makoto to solve. (Thankfully, Makoto is very good at solving Laurent’s puzzles.)

And because Makoto is Makoto, he can’t let Laurent get away with anything that easily.

Makoto leans back, lets an easy shark’s smile spread across his face. “Yeah,” he says, in answer to Laurent’s question. “It would.”

Under the table, the tip of Laurent’s shiny expensive-ass shoe drags up the line of Makoto’s ankle. He does his best not to squirm under the abrupt heat of Laurent’s smile. God. Fuck. He’s made a terrible decision. End ID.]

#asks #xoxoxoxo lyyy caseyyy #keiko fic was equally very fun and VERY difficult to write bc i could not Bother You about it while i worked #as is my very consistent habit with most other fics i write skjfvnskfnb #(save recently bc of my fg and slasher brainrot sfkjbnsfk and i dont wanna bother you with those)

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summersareknives · 1 year

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IM BACK! okay lets see. favourite colour...prob green. maybe blue. sometimes purple. it changes a lot but rn its green lol. and im a scorpio! my bday is on halloween so i like to imagine that if i lived in the marauders era i would share my bday party with sirius🫶 fav marauders era girl.... that is such a tough one. i adore them all so very much, but id have to say either marlene or pandora. fav tv show....hm... i used to be a supernatural fan (derogatory) but the past is (thankfully) behind me. i love arcane & the umbrella academy, and also what we do in the shadows! OH and our flag means death. gay pirates are apparently my kryptonite. and the bowie lyric is "turn and face the strange" from changes! (every time i look at it it makes me think of remus in atyd with the wolves and makes me giggle fr)

and ty again for the fic rec <3 ill give u one in return: of pinstripes and potions by pansysnarkinson (jegulus forced proximity in the hospital wing, but the author is currently writing a rework here which is also very good)

now for old times sake i simply have to give more taylor songs to do: dont blame me, long story short, and so it goes🌟

okay now your turn. whats your zodiac sign? fav colour? fav tv show? fav marauders era girl? fav marauders era ship? (i know i could never pick just one but wolfstar, dorlene, and jegulus have my heart) OH and from that ask game you reblogged the other day! 20, 25, 29!

-bee

bee bee bee hello hello i love u <333

i so feel you on that favourite colour keeps changing thing . because SAME. there are so many good colours how am I to choose ???

and a halloween birthday ??? dude u got born on the day lily & james got done in by voldemort. but that’s such a cool bday honestly.

marlene & pandora is a vv good choice i love both of them with all my heart and soul.

now the tv shows -

i haven’t watched any of the ones you speak of , unfortunately. I consider myself more of a ‘comedy/chill’ girl & stuff like supernatural and umbrella academy looks like it’d stress me out.

HOWEVER . ‘gay pirates’ sounds very interesting , and i’m going to be checking that out for sure.

turn and face the strange ??? on god that’s such a good line , honestly. you’re fucking awesome and AHHHHHH. (in my head remus would love that tattoo)

i wanted a tattoo of something nice. my frontrunner is a lyric from ‘you’re my best friend’ by queen (very nice and niche i love them & this song.. here r the frontrunners for the lyrics -

me - ‘whatever this world can give to me’ // my best friend -‘it’s you , you’re all i see’

me -‘in rain or shine’ // him -‘you stood by me girl’

and one option is from ‘little freak’ by hs - me - ‘little freak’ // him - ‘jezebel.’

(upon writing this it sounds very cringe so i’ll say it would be on our foot or some concealed place. and also that this is a joke. i just want a symbol)

but i cannot convince him to do this. he’s way too fucking scared. I reckon i’ll be able to convince him soon enough , though ( if i promise him mcdonald’s hasbrowns for long enough ) maybe we’ll do our constellations , if he’s too scared of lyrics. or our birth month flowers maybe ?? something , for sure.

vis a vis fic recs - I’VE READ OF PIN STRIPES AND POTIONS. I’ve been there since the author was still on chapter seven , i’m a big fan of their writing . it’s so so so good i loved it literally so so much :))))

NOW FOR OLD TIME’S SAKE -

don’t blame me - JEGULUS - now , i’m veering a little about of canon. for me (in doa especially) either of them would go CRAZY for the other one. like fuckin tip the world apart if anyone ever did something to the other , you feel me ? and and , in doa , i have 3 don’t blame me moments planned (one is jegulus, one is wolfstar , one is rosekiller.) highly likely we’ll get a dorlene one , if i find a place to fit it in.

long story short - JEGULUS & ROSEKILLER - now , in canon , i think the line ‘i tried to pick my battles till the battle picked me’ is very regulus (& my boy hjp , but i digress) like can u imagine reg being like ‘yes james i choose u’ and then his parents imperiusing him until he takes the dark mark ??? my heart broken. ‘you passed right by’ james ignoring him after they broke up. my heart is so sad atm. it’s rosekiller (especially in the context of doa) because of the line ‘long story short it was the wrong guy , now i’m all about you’ , and this is vv much barty to evan . like so so much this line , it’s just HIM.

so it goes - JEGULUS - first of all , this is a criminally underrated song. i love it and no one ever talks about this one. Second , jegulus because ‘gold cage , hostage to my feelings’ - james is the gold cage , regulus not wanting to feel those things for him BUT HE DOES HE DOES. this song is so sexy honestly truly .

fic rec time - ‘don’t blame me, love made me crazy’ by coupe_de_foudre’ - (one shot ft secret dating jegulus , james has a quidditch accident , vv cute oneshot i love it.)

now to answer questions -

zodiac sign - pisces. i notice you’re a scorpio. very sirius and remus of us .

favourite colour - like u , it keeps changing. right now it’s pink , but a while ago it was yellow. but for now , pink. i love this colour so much , very dear to me.

fave tv show - F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Without a doubt, this show is like a cup of hot chocolate for me. always soothes me and makes me laugh. i also love himym (fuck the ending , barney+robin 5ever) & b99 .

fave marauder era girl - lily evans. hands down , no competition. she birthed the wizarding saviour , she schooled severus snape , she is the moment , she is everything. love her.

favourite marauder era ship - i simply cannot choose. i cannot and will not choose. my top four , however are (in no particular order) - wolfstar (the ogs) , jegulus ( best friends brother is the one for me) , dorlene ( enemies to lovers lesbians) , jily (parents) .

ask game -

20. tangled. no doubt. i loved it so much when it came out that i bought the blonde wig and everything. had a doll. BUT. Tiana (the princess and the frog??) is a close second.

25. yes , stellar taste. taylor swift , queen , bowie , hozier & 1D. amazing taste.

29. fusilli. the curly just does something to me .

now now now. for ur next ask i give u more questions to answer -

have u ever seen a moose ? (always wanted to ask a canadian this )

is it like minus a billion degrees all the time up there ??

what’s your favourite fic of all time? like all time. ( or top 5)

favourite golden trio era ship ?

do you write fic ? (if yes , where can i find it pls and thank you)

tea or coffee ?

go to outfit ?

how many piercings ?

& what course do u take / what’s your desired career path / what’s your favourite subject?

and a fun fact about you !

(bee feel free to give me more taylor songs to do. ‘tis our tradition , after all.)

#ess water a plant #bee <33 #ess’s marauders x ts crossover

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cocacola-garlic · 3 years

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hey yall i made a fancy new page for my comms info!! if yr interested in paying me to draw you stuff check it out here:

reblogs super appreciated!! I’m excited to be doin comms again 🥰

#my art #commissions #comms #blaseball commissions #digital artist #art #support #id love a reblog if u can ty #:)

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miyuwuki · 2 years

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<3 anon! Here for the matchup, congrats on 500 :)

my current mbti is ISTP! my likes include sweets, stargazing, and music! I dislike large amounts of noise though, also crowds.

id like a matchup from daiya no ace :))

theres nothing else to add, have fun :D

- <3

a/n: omg hello <3 anon! how are you? how’s the rotc and med classes? i missed u sm i hope ur doing well and eating good bc u deserve it. ty for coming and participating in this event ily

DIAMOND NO ACE

miyuki kazuya

so i did a little researcher on istp’s and found that they are very independent, practical, and responsible. it gives “i don’t need anyone but me,” and that’s why i chose kazuya! giving that istp’s are not openly clingy and are always doing something, both of you guys can focus on your priorities because you both know that you guys still love each other. kazuya has practice, you might have rotc/med classes from what i remember, and so both of you reach an understanding that availability isn’t always present. but of course, you both make up for it! stay at home dates and going to little bakeries is something common when you guys need to reconnect and it is perfect. you both catch up on everything and share little sweet moments, and sometimes he’ll plan special dates where he cooks for you! knowing istp’s are hardworking, he will definitely take amazing care of you, reminding you to take breaks and to hydrate as he does the same.

overall this relationship is so mature and that’s something he needs since most of his time is dedicated to baseball

kominato ryousuke

another guy who’s dedicated to baseball; ryousuke definitely enjoys his alone time and admires you for excelling in your hobbies yourself! he knows how busy you can get so it gives him the chance to practice on what he loves too. i just know he loves to star gaze, so often he’ll pull you away, even if it’s just for 30 minutes, to count the stars with you and even name them for fun! he loves the smile on your face when he takes you out for it :) he also does not like large crowds, so you both often stay away from people and find peace in each other’s company. he is his utmost self when he’s alone with you, and he hopes you’re just as comfortable as him. he will find you treats that aren’t too sweet but will play it off

this relationship is also very mature, just a bit different though because ryousuke is a big tease

*＊✿❀reblogs and likes are appreciated❀✿＊*

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bisexualsoup · 3 years

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tagged by @santasgf (hi ily)

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread love and link each other to awesome works!

this year i started making gifsets of every episode of off topic fiona’s been on (the one i linked/screenshotted is the one i put out on her bday but you can see all i have so far tagged under #fionaofftopic) but yeah these sets are fun to make even tho they take a long ass time lmao, and i get to rewatch old off topics so that fun!!!

i made this post of gifs/pics of fiona and barb's cute moments it took a long time to find enough videos to gif and pictures to edit but it turned out cute af and i love it and them <3<3<3

as you probably all know by now i am a chungə stan first and a human being second and tho i have made multiple gifs/edits dedicated to my fave team this gifset of them on hardcore mini golf is probs my fave. they were SO funny on it. i rlly need to rewatch this one!!!

ah had ogaelfox on twitter release some more coloring pages since the coloring book was a bit outdated (from before fredo and fifi being hired) and i colored this page of the ah ladies (n lindsay since idk if lindsay ids as a woman who uses they/them or nb they haven’t super clarified but that’s their business) but yeah this was so fun to color and a challenge cause i’m not super good at coloring digitally lmao this took so long and like over 100 layers but the finished outcome is pretty okay imo

some more chungə love!!!! i made this fahc edit n the ah tumblr reblogged it and it got over 1000 notesl. i’m happy as long as a post gets like 50 notes lmao but i put a lot of work into this (esp that shot of gav i edited that HEAVILY lol) so ty so much!!!

as for tagging idk who has done this already and who hasn’t so if you haven’t..................................... i tag u

listen i had a long day yesterday and i just woke up ssjkhdlkajlkjsjadskdh love y’all xx

#heather talks/

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jtrbluv · 4 years

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happy jk day!

hi, as a jk stan, id like to wish him a very happy birthday!! and hi, also as a jk stan i can officially confirm that after having him as one of my ults for nearly five years, he has become the one idol that i absolutely wanna deck. like grand slam kaboom kabaam wwe smackdown type beat yk. like if i ever see him, it is on SIGHT! i cant really express why, but ik damn well i AINT the only one who feels this way. lemme find the tiktok of the girl that kind of explains it pls wait a minute, ok IT TOOK 20 MINUTES. but here 😏

instead of reblogging pretty pics and gifs of him like i usually would (and probably will later), here’s a very extensive list of reasons why i wanna absolutely deck his goofy ass SO BAD (i’m telling you it’s out of love i swear):

- that one time he ate 6 whole cups of ramen in one damn sitting

- when him and jimin were making kimbap on live and he fucking toOK A BITE OUT OF IT LIKE A BURRITO

- when he had like 6M fans watching his livestream and he told all of us not to tell anyone his secrets he was abt to say

- same said live, he also said he wasn’t drunk but he was ✨buffering✨

- when they were all having a snowball fight and he decides to pull up with the biggest fuckin block of ice i’ve ever seen like he could literally knock out someone with it in one blow

- the way he gets the munchies at every american award show

- when he would make fun of jimins part in save me literally 24/7 when it first came out,, and now he just imitates and makes fun of all the members any chance he gets

- that one time he imitated a chicken

- the other time he broke a pineapple with his bare hands

- when the members said he got into a fight with a dog when they were at the strawberry farm

- when he was on live that one time and he was wearing bright ass blue pajama shorts with a black leather jacket, he rly thought he was slick and he could’ve been, but he decided to show us anyway 😭

- when he said that him and all the members were going to hell

- “convenience stores are convenient”

- “birthdays are the day you were born”

- “when you’re full, you should eat ramen”

- when he fell off the inflatable mattress on that run bts ep and didn’t wake up

- the way he runs like he just robbed a bank on those particular run bts eps but has never won or come close to winning any of them

- when he used to get offended as fuck when someone called him oppa to the point where he said that the fans had to show their IDs

- when he stOLE PASTA AND PB&J FROM THE I-LANDers PANTRY HHHHHHSJJJSKSJJEH

- when he made that one glazed sweet potato dish on that run ep and that shit stuck to the plate like it got superglued there

- when he hit hobi in the nuts with a trophy (press F for respects for the poor man pls)

- “i like it when the fans call me by my real name and not my stage name” “jungkook your real name is your stage name”

- telling hobi to look in the mirror to draw a horse

- when he stuck a chocolate ball in jins ramen (press another F for respects pls and ty)

- “i almost cursed at him” after joon lost his passport for the 20th time

- when yoongi thought he lost his ipad in europe but jungkook stole it to make him think that he did

- when he was carrying his huge ass speaker all around hawaii and straight up blasting music like no one was around

- when he used the same speaker to play music in his hotel room during a live and jimin went to his room to tell him that he was playing it too loud, so when he left he started blasting LIE even louder than before.

- the fact that this guy rlywears toe socks. can we just take a moment cuz c’mon RLY DUDE. TOE SOCKS.

- throwback to the era where all he wore was white shirts blue jeans and his iconic timbs

- during said era, when they showed him packing for a trip and more than half the closet was just plain ass white t-shirts

- when his choice of shoe is now either black big ass stomper boots or birkenstocks (aw we love a vsco icon)

- truly our e-boy king <3

i refuse to go on this list is SO LONG AND FOR WHAT!! sorry mr jk love u happy bday bae 🥶🙄✨

#bts #jungkook #jeon jungkook #yeah hes so goofy silly slay #i dont admit it liek ever tbh but manz does have my whole heart ig 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄#ill say it one time and one time only #idk y i feel so strongly like this towards him cuz its only him LMAOO #me and jae talked abt it once and im pretty sure its cuz he gives off that annoying best friend type of vibe #which i heavily fw period #kk bye #hope mister bday boy is doing well

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requiemofkings · 6 years

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I absolutely adore and love your aftg art and style. I have a q tho, do you have any original works?? oc's or similar :0? id absolutely love to see them. Do you also plan to pursue anything in the art field?

hello!! thank you so much and TY FOR ASKING EEEEE

my art blog will have non aftg art (anime/games) that i post , but i still reblog aftg art from this blog to there

i do have ocs!! i spent a good day making pintrest boards for them last month LOL if u scroll back far enough on the art blog u can see some of them but dont bc theyre terrible, but they will be redesigned once i figure out what kind of world they’re in... i want to make a webcomic somedayyy i tend to post more originals and ocs on twitter so that’s the place where u’ll see them more often :^)

not sure if i want to pursue anything in the art field tbhconcept artist for a game would be awesome right now im majoring in law sociology but will be double majoring in vis arts soon but idk what to do after that //shrugs

#blah blabs #Anonymous

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averagehobbes · 6 years

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Merthur Fic - Lost & Found

My inbox is purgatory for asks, and I don’t have nearly as much time as I used to in order to search for fics, so I’ve decided to make a cohesive list of all the “Lost Fics” Messages that have been waiting in my Hellish Inbox.

If you have found a fic which answers someone’s question, send me the Link/Title/etc and I will happily post it for all to see. Thank you for your help!

This Post will be reblogged with Updates

(EDIT: Found Fics will be deleted from this list and put in the ‘found’ tag. Additionally: I have created a section for asks which have been answered, but are open for more fics to be added.)

Anonymous said: I've always liked things going like "oh no" in Merlin fanfic where people just fuck things up because they VASTLY underestimated Emrys. If you know of any fics with underestimated merlin with this kinda vibe that would be great!

Anonymous said: Hi, I'm looking for a fic in canon era. Arthur is prince, and a sorcerer is executed, but Arthur takes care of his son Will (short for William, and Merlin always call his that because otherwise it reminds him of his dead friend Will) - (and the boy later becomes Arthur's heir?) - Arthur and Merlin grow apart for a while, but they love each other. I'd be so thankful if you know it xx

Anonymous said: Hi, a very happy new year to you! I don't want to impose but I have searched for this but I can't find it. Maybe one of your followers know of it? I read this a very very long time ago and I can't remember the details. Its similar to when Morgana sent back Lancelot to hurt Arthur, but in this, its actually a creature that takes the form of someone you love. It approached both Gwen and Merlin as Lance, then my memory goes vague. Does it turn into Arthur/someone walks in on them? I don't know :(

Anonymous said: Hiya! Im looking for a fic that’s modern day where Merlin is a successful businessman with an assistant. And Merlin keeps having this meeting that kept getting pushed back. It also has Arthur in a mental facility and Merlin uses magic to make fake documents for Arthur to get him out. He then takes Arthur to a house he had built just for him. It’s super vague memories but I can’t seem to find it in my bookmarks. Hope you can help plz ^ - ^ TY!

Anonymous said: Ok, so I read this fic a while ago and I can't remember much about it. I do know that Arthur was an athlete and he was injured, and while in the hospital(?) he kept shouting Merlin's name. And that's pretty much all that I remember about it, but I would really like to find it again. Please and Thank you.

Anonymous said: Hello! I love your recap and I have gone through your recd and blog so many times and always find something new and awesome to read! I was wondering if you could help me find a fic where Arthur returns in modern day London. I believe merlin is a high school teacher and Gwaine also starts working there. I think Leon finds Arthur in full armor roaming the streets in modern day England and takes him to Merlin’s flat. I am going crazy looking for this fic and I can’t even find a reference to it.

Anonymous said: Do you know any fics where Merlin is the one to knock Arthur's socks off? Like Arthur is a blushing mess and Merlin is like, "Yeah, I know I'm hot stuff" (bc Merlin was the real social butterfly in the show and we all know it)

Anonymous said: Okay so I've just finished reading Falls the Shadow and I was wondering if you know of fics as angsty as its first chapter. Like, MAXIMUM ANGST. Jesus Christ, that first chapter must have been one of the angstiest things I've read in whole entire life, AND I WANT MORE. So if you haves fics with that level of angst, it'd be greatly appreciated. But with a happy ending, of course. Muchas gracias!

Below is the Section Called: “A Fic Was Found But If You Know Anymore Fics Like This Please Add”

*Anonymous said: I’m looking for a merthur fic that is a mafia au? Arthur is the mob boss, and Merlin is a man that owes him because of an absent father’s debt. It’s a series, and I’m pretty sure that for the most part it’s explicit? (A fic was found, but if you know any others, I will leave this here so you can share more!)

*Anonymous said: Hello! I'm looking for any fic that has a similar plot or theme to something i read a while ago: In the Fic, Merlin and Emrys are two separate entities in the same body and Merlin used an amulet to contain and keep control of Emrys. Anything similar to this would be great! Thank you!!Xx --> (A fic was found, but if you know any others, I will leave this here so you can share more!)

*Anonymous said: hi! i was wondering if you knew of any fics in which Arthur knows about Merlin's magic and wants Merlin to train and spar with him using magic? thanks!!!!!!!! --> (A fic was found, but if you know any others, I will leave this here so you can share more!)

*Anonymous said: do you know of any fics where merlin meets other sorcerers and they're amazed at how much power merlin has/what he can do? or anything where merlin shows how powerful he is --> (A fic was found, but if you know any others, I will leave this here so you can share more!)

*Anonymous said: heyo! first off ur blog is amazing and im SO thankful it exists. but i wanted to know id you know of any fics where Arthur teaches Merlin how to properly fight/protct himself? I checked the tag's page and found one with that trope incorporated but couldnt find one solely based on it. If you know of anything it's much appreciated!! --> (A fic was found, but if you know any others, I will leave this here so you can share more!)

*Anonymous said: do u know any fics where merlin leaves camelot either bc he's angry or hurt or afraid of himself/the prophecy? and the knights or arthur have to scramble to figure out why he left and where he went and what they're going to do? --> (A fic was found, but if you know any others, I will leave this here so you can share more!)

*Anonymous said: Hi! I love your recs! Do you know any de-aged Arthur fics? I've already read Gentle, Gentle and I really love that one --> (A fic was found, but if you know any others, I will leave this here so you can share more!)

Last Updated: 1 March 2018

#merthur fic #merlin fic #merthur #merlin #The Lost Fic Post #Lost

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ketterdamns · 6 years

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a brief history

so anyway i’ve been doing a lot of work over the last year (hence why im kinda awol and maybe less positive than I used to be) and the biggest thing that has always come up is to stop retreating when I need to be honest about the things that have happened to me, when acknowledging the things in my life that have damaged me and also as an exercise to let trust my friends and others not to use this information to hurt me- the only power of these words in the hands of others is what I perceive them to have. if i give it away freely and own it it can no longer be used to hurt me, or at least, that is the general idea i might regret this. i might not. i just think i need to try because im so so so tired.

Anyway, under the cut; csa, parental and spousal abuse, rape, trauma,drugs, addiction, basically all of the triggers. a slightly optimistic ending tho!!!

Additionally; if you read this, please can you in some way acknowledge that u have, via text, whatsapp, dm, pm, messages, likes (no reblogs pls!!) just so i can keep track of who knows what ty!!!!

its really hard to admit that ive never had a stable home life. never even had a stable home, from the moment i was in the womb my mum was running, away from my dad (who never let her go), from my dad’s mum- who wanted me dead for reasons my mum has never been able to divulge, from poverty and homelessness throughout my formative years.

That’s when it started maybe, I was about 3-4/5 we ended up having to move in with my uncle (my dads brother) and his wife. it was an uncomfortable situation for all, we were a family of four intruding on newlyweds, but we were desperate and immigrants to a new country without qualifications for work or money to support us or even a job to hold down. My mum tried her best, but my brother was one and i was two years older. I ended up spending a lot of time with my uncle, who often “took me off of her hands” for afternoons. I don’t rly remember those afternoons, except that I would always play up beforehand, not wanting to go. At some point, my aunt caught on, and instead of talking to her husband, or throwing his pedo ass out, she took out her ??jealousy?? on me, and started pinching me so hard i bruised. she would blame me for my uncle’s behaviour. i was a “madame” pretending to be his “princess”, my mum caught her hitting me, and packed our bags immediately, despite my father not allowing us to leave. we had to stay in that house for another two months, and this is when my mum would never want to let me out of her sight again. And this is also the beginning of the pattern that my dad would allow these things to happen to me but I was just a baby. I didn’t understand. I didn’t know what was happening or why they were. No-one spoke to me and I had no one else in my life at that time.

We spent some really uncomfortable years in uncomfortable places, but honestly being homeless for that year, and then moving into council accommodation was sort of the least of my worries. I was eight years old the time I was sexually and emotionally abused by my other uncle (also my dad’s brother). It was my first trip back to our home country My grandma spent all her time telling me I was awful (it turns out... she’s a piece of shit) all because I refused to call her “Mum”, she wanted to kidnap me and my brother, and idk what else. but we scuppered her plans by not going along with it. It was a very toxic and scary environment, so when my Uncle would invite me into his next door flat, and treat me with kindness, I was overjoyed. Finally, another adult I could trust! My grandparents used to police food, and essentially only allowed me one meal a day. Back in the UK we were very poor, and rarely got to have sweets unless they were gifts from other people, so my uncle already had the perfect tool to entice me. That first summer, I ate sweets and let him pamper me, slowly giving him more and more affection like sitting on his lap etc, because it meant more sweets for me and my brother. he was my favourite person in the world and i was sure that he was the one person i could truly trust and talk to about anything. I used to dream of moving in with him and living peacefully, well fed, in a quiet cosy environment. The next summer, I was nine, and my dad had almost finished his uni, meaning we were expecting more money. I had my fill of sweets. He bought me toys instead. Slowly, his requests for affection turned into demands. Slowly, his affection turned into something twisted and horrible, something dirty. I once tried to raise the point to my grandma, that sometimes my uncle did things that scared me. she told me off for being a coward. I didn’t say anything. I was getting toys, my little brother was being fed, my mum finally had a friend in my dads side of the family in him. I knew enough about unstable homes that the slightest disagreement could lead to homelessness again and I didnt want that. Maybe my silence was my strength.

This was confirmed when he raped me when I was 12. It is the last time I will ever see that side of the family. I was in shock the whole time, I didn’t know what to do. When we got home, back onto firm cold soil and the safety of our shitty one bedroom council flat in the roughest estate , I opened up to my dad that for years i’d been terrorised by my uncle and afraid of saying something. Dads were supposed to protect their little girls from big bad men, even if that man was their brother.

All I got for my troubles was another man who began to hurt me. Outraged that I’d ever speak something so horrible my dad began to beat me. Constantly. And if my mum got involved? He’d beat her too. she didn’t even know what was happening, but there was a point she also went silent, and it was all on me to bear the pain I’d tried to share. The following summer, my uncle died in a freak accident When I heard the news I laughed because I couldn’t help myself, and getting hit for it was worth it for the news. I never had to see him again. He died and I was free. Except my dad never quite forgot what I had said, and he never forgave me for it.

Anyway by this point I was a teenager, we moved again and constantly over the years until we properly settled and actually bought a house and I had a strong group of friends who didn’t mind my weirdness and my lack of skills. My mum at this point couldnt bear that I was branching out from her bubble, and something snapped in her too, she started to search my room, stalk my friends, refuse to let me out. honestly.. no i dont blame her (even tho her behaviour hasnt changed and im 23, but at the time? it increased how trapped i felt)

I was a teenager and I had a best friend. She loved a boy named DJ who was 18. DJ used to stalk me, and I kept quiet because I knew she liked him and I knew speaking up would cause me more trouble. I could look after her, and myself. DJ assaulted me one night at a party. I shouldn’t have been there and I shouldn’t have been doing what I was doing. I was already experimenting with drinks and drugs because I was dead inside anyway. he hurt me and then told my best friend that i’d hooked up with him and hoodwinked him into getting with me because i wanted to hurt her. within days that story was around school. i was the easy kid who would sleep with anyone for the drama, and i was quiet. i was terrified news would get to my mum, or my little brother who was also starting at that school. but most of all i was terrified of telling my side of the story, and to be hurt more than i was hurting already. I unfriended them all, and even though DJ continued to stalk me i kept quiet. DJ sent me a necklace with a dove, explaining the significance was that the dove was my innocence or some other weird creepy crap. my mum found it in the bin where id tried to bury it under rubbish i told her a fraction of the truth, I was being harassed by a boy and I didn’t welcome his advances. I didn’t tell her it was already too late. The school of course told him to keep away, and he did for the most part, and one time he tried to corner me while I was skiving off of a class and there was no one around, I ran and went to tell a teacher. I got told to “grow up” and sometimes “we have to get along with people we dont like”. I was the villain in their eyes. I swore I would do everything in my power to get out of this school, go to the grammar in a new city where my reputation . DJ was arrested this year for online grooming an d sharing child pornography, and it honestly breaks my heart that its been going on for so long. maybe i should have said more, but who to?

My time at school wasn’t all bad. And i had my first real positive experience with an older man. My english teacher once caught me unawares and I had a panic attack at being alone with a man-- he was gentle and kind, and worked with me to get to where i wanted to be grades-wise. he let me borrow his books and told me stories about his own son and i understood what real love meant, and it broke me that i’d never experienced it.

My brother had grown so big now, and threatened my dad. if he ever lay another finger on one of us under our roof, my brother would kill him. my brother spent his childhood learning to fight, he’s in the runnings for the Olympics. My dad recognised the threat was real. And never hit me when my brother was home. However, when my brother wasn’t home... that was another story. my silence then was another kind of strength. I couldnt tell him the truth, because if he followed through on this threat, his life would be over. My dad got more sneaky, he would avoid my face, he’d grab my ankle and twist it so tight that it’s now forever fucked up.

Despite all my fucked-up ness I did make it to grammar school, despite my parents not wanting me to go there. And im so glad i did. I finally had two years with minimal assault. My dad hurt me sometimes? The first night after my induction class because summer break, my dad took my prized hockey stick- one I’d worked long days to afford, and smashed it on my leg. I had to get crutches and didn’t leave my house for most of the summer, because I didn’t want to explain what happened. I couldn’t play my sport ever again properly. I lied to my friends and told them i was in my home country for the summer. i legit did not leave my house unless it was for doctors appts.

occasional nights he would be tired of me doing nothing but homework or making projects, or being loud. Alternately, he’d hate it when suddenly i became withdrawn and uncommunicative. when i physically couldn’t move etc. anyway turns out these were symptoms of my MI which wouldn’t be diagnosed for a long while, despite trying to find what was wrong with me from this point onwards. but!!! for the most part! it was great! my school was in another city! i had freedom for a couple hours every day to do what i wanted! i made friends who embraced my weirdness! i had no reputation and i had my very own laptop finally so i could finally have some privacy!

too much privacy, i refused to give my mum my laptop password. hearing this, my dad threw my laptop down the stairs.

i used what little money i had from part time jobs to fix it, but its something im resentful of to this day. my mum, in her eagerness to protect me, just let him hurt me again.

anyway blah blah blah i moved to london and it was amazing i ran away i was free everything was going to change and i was finally going to be the person i always knew i was destined to be! chic and cosmopolitan and cool and confident and most importantly, safe, and comfortable, and in control. And I was. and then three weeks before halloween it happened again. i’d been away from home for two months now, and i’d started dabbling in harder drugs than weed, but that night i was not high. i was not in withdrawal. i was only drunk. i got raped again. this time, i did report it, but only because my housemates knew it had happened. i got rushed to A&E where they are legally required to call the police. the police took me to their HQ and i was interviewed. they arrested him. none of this was my choice, and my lack of silence led to a lack of control. I know ive been detailed already, but i wont go into detail about the rape kits they have and the questions i got asked and the journalists who dogged me and the nosy gossips who wanted to know the juicy deets. I don’t want to go into detail about how i realised I was a victim and was always going to be a victim, and i cant go into detail about the most recent abuses, not yet. All I know is i once thought i was in love with a boy called ‘T’, and what he did to me was worse because he made me believe this was all I could get and that I had to settle. He made me believe that him getting off on my trauma was love, instead of him picturing me as a child repeatedly brutalised by my male relatives. The moment I came to my senses and he was gone, I realised I was alone again. I failed my second year of uni, because the day before my final exam, my rapists wife found my house in london, idk how. She and her child begged me to help her husband’s appeal. I sympathised with her, she was a non-native with broken english looking after her kid. She reminded me of my mum. I told her for her chid’s sake and for her sake, I couldn’t. She cursed me and nothing has been the same since. actually, the lovely people of tumblr helped me raise the funds to complete summer school and carry on with my life. i now hold a masters degree. i remember each and every one of u who donated or signal boosted. i also remember my choice to keep his wife out of it, and not mention her. silence was golden.

This year my rapist was deported after raping another person when he was released for good behaviour.

anyway. despite all of this magnitude of shit that has happened to me. despite my numerous addictions that im still working thru (im sorry if u knew me when i was nothing but a junkie. at 19/20 I was not a good person and anything I said that was thoughtful or provocative came from a bad place. I gave bad advice and abused my medication alongside brown and alcohol. My manic episodes got worse than I’ve ever experienced and usually led to me some very dark very scary places. I’m mostly better now but the last year has Been A Lot. I tried to kill myself twice. Once, I was saved by police, which is... embarrassing and I lied my ass off (and brandished the fact i was a MASTERS STUDENT OF LAW and they had entirely the wrong end of the stick) and another time, i was saved by chance. I am making so much progress tho. I’m proud of me. I’ve become more independent. I’m not afraid to speak out when I’m dissatisfied now. I know strength comes from knowing what you want and what you don’t want, not settling for the worst because unknown reactions in my imagination are worse than whatever reality has in store.

im graduating from my masters next week. i feel as tho ive lost a lot of friends and people i cared about- all i can say is im sorry. i’m trying. but if i fuck up, its on me. if i speak too loudly and it hurts you, please tell me. if i dropped away, its because i had to work on me, and im sorry, and im ready to come back, if you’ll have me. I’m really excited about the future, but im scared too. the last three months have been so hard and every day i feel like giving up again, but I won’t. there has to be a reason i survived all this, and im yet to find it, but i hope i will. im still going thru shit. my dad is still the worst. but i have a really lovely partner who is so so so patient with me- more than i deserve, im in touch with a doctor and a sleep therapist, my brother is looking out for me and im getting in touch with old friends, and im making new ones all the time. thank you for sticking by me, and sorry for the long read. i just had to get it out there you know? its my truth and the silence was killing more than anything else in this stupid story is. ive left lots of details out, but parts of my story interlink with others and other parts im still holding onto, i cant share everything online i think thats enough oversharing for a long long time.

#all of the trigger warning; you have been warned #please acknowledge this if u read it so i know who to be awkward with lol #tbd

2 notes · View notes

incendavery · 7 years

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gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕

on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.

as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!

yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕

i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!

thank you!!!💕

thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕

ok, my tips are!!:

draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills

BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again

draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing

look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work

read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt

ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy

good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!

ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!

thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!

that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!

thank you!!

peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.

wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>

dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!

thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul

thank you!!!!!!!💕

i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!

i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕

honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?

youre welcome!!!! :>

huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!

hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕

i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨

thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!

hey, right back atcha!!!

ty!!!

hey. thank YOU

you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!

!!!!!!!!!!

hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!

gosh thanks?!?!

she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!

aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!

this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!

that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can

i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds

i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!

i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way

so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?

real BAD

💕 💖 💞 💓 💗

not yet haha THANK YOU

hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!

that IS a fun fact!! thank you!

it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)

hoo gosh, thank you!!

glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???

i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation

if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.

im glad you at least have your friends that support you!

:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0

aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;

i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;

this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0

yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0

i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)

oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!

💕 💖 💞 💓 💗!!!

HUGS

i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?

also good to know!?

i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!

the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!

i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits.

heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:

hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖

ive never heard of that!! wow

what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!

oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;

hahahaha omg thank u

i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.

thank you!!!

youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!

aaa gosh thank you!!!

hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️

thanks for the info!!! :0

no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.

i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?

aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;

aw thank you???!!

nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!

thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!

of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight

aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???

hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?

wow!!

(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!

hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!

aaaa ty!

hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu or @wheremyscalesslither!!

thank you!!

one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)

yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!

awww, gosh! thank you!?

AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;

:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!

i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!

pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;

aaaaa thank you!!! ;o;

nice nice nice ty!!

>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!)

those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!

i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!

@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!

that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!

hello to you too!

aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3

thank you! thank YOU for existing!

:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!

thank you!!!!!!💕

its literally my pleasure!!!

aaa ty!!! 💕💕

hehe im glad!

sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh

yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player!

ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!

aww thank you so much!!

:0 :) :0 !!!!!!

ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!

thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!

i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day

you dont mean......

?!?!?!?!?!?!

awwww ty!!!

HEY WOW

aaa gosh thank you!💕

DOUBLE FOLLOW

gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;

aaa what a lovely message! ty💕

3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!

huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!

ah im really glad? tysm!!💕

my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be!

hell yeah!!!!

gosh!!!!!

hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez

delicious!!

i havent!! i really want to though!

oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!

i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh???

i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!

hey, thank you!!!

oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?

i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?

thank you!! 👍

that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!

:0 :0 :0

ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>

omg,,,, nope, just me!

thank you!!!!!!

honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine

always!!!!! go for it!!!

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

omg, thats so great! thank you!

im so glad; thank you!!!

thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)

aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa

aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!

its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :>

its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao

LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away!

THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!

aaa ty!!💖

aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)

awww thank you💖

i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )

aaaaa ty!! 💖

!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????

hey, neat! crow high-five!

aw, thank you!!! 💖

im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;

gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?

thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!

i am..... one of those things!

well thank you!!

ohoho~✨

thank you! and honestly im sure it does??

hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!

aw gosh thank you!💖

hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!

(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)

aaaah, thank you so much!!

almost???

i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!

i am!!!! thank you!!

aw, ty!!! 💖

hee hee, thank you!

my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.

thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)

how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????

hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing.

when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’

i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!

now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao

!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!

maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?

thank you!!!

its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,

thank you so much!!!

WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????

all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;

#WOW THAT TOOK LIKE THREE HOURS HAHA #hopefully next time it wont be as long!!#daveanswersstuff #long post

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