#idk i dont know how to phrase that in english i feel like im missing something but im not sure what it is

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

excuse me i have to say something obscene (which is the point) the master definitely masturbated in the matrix chamber. the heart of gallifrey (”but hes the president. kill him and gallifrey could be yours”), the room he found out about the timeless child in, panopticon right over there, watched but unwatched, witnessed by the dead, the bodies he desecrated, torture room in the cellar, turning his own body, which has been used as a tool so many times by the timelords, back into a base physical thing whichs only purpose is his own pleasure, an agressive retraction of his plea to rassilon in end of time to take him with them in their journey to become beings of consciousness, while turning those same powerful timelords he once begged for acceptance into a perversion of that same ideal, and doing it by doing something that Time Lords Do Not Do; sex. something timelords do not do because of their robbing the timeless child of her regeneration.

a kind of self-love that is 100% spiteful and ironic and painfully self-aware on his part but at the same time a genuine expression of his anger (in a way that 13 is unable to access) and in that somehow looping back to a kind of, if not self-love really, a renewed self-loyalty (contrasted with 13‘s continual self-abandonment), a negation of missys self-betrayal in the doctor falls, the pyrrhic victory that created (not to say birthed) him.

#every time i look at it for longer than 5 seconds the masters anger always reveals itself to be love and #the doctors anger always reveals itself to be fear #if the doctor and him were on speaking terms through all this theyd have sex in the matrix chamber #which......... #actually #if i think about it for a little bit im pretty sure i can make that video #wouldnt be much harder than the thasmissy video i made i think #anyway #master meta #making this post was opening pandoras box rip dfhkghgkj #all the things im now thinking he wouldve done in the matrix chamber while making those cybertimelords #ANYWAYY #unrelated but how do you say like the possessive of which #it always trips me up #i know it's not just which and it's definitely not whichs #but that does sound intuitive to me and im signposting my mistake there but #idk i dont know how to phrase that in english i feel like im missing something but im not sure what it is #frankenstein #i think it deserves the tag it's adjacent #it's in the subtext #rowan come back i want your take on this

[lix-ables]

GET TO KNOW ME - tagged by @comet-falls @bbujiikseu @petrichor-han ty hehe ‹33

birthday? november 14.

favourite colour? sage green

how tall are you? 5"1/154cm.

how many pairs of shoes do you own? 'bout 12 pairs? but i choose to wear 3

favourite song? good days by sza.

favourite movie? ready or not.

who would be your ideal partner? eep felix or gavin murphy from dear clementine

do you want children? do dogs count as children?

have you gotten into trouble with the law? nah

what colour socks are you wearing? lmao i dont have socks on

favourite type of music? a mix of indie/alternative and punk

how many pillows do you sleep with? 2 pillows and 2 plushies

what position do you sleep in? mostly my side

what don’t you like when you’re sleeping? the windows being closed. i get claustrophobic.

have you tried archery? no but i really want to.

favourite fruit? uhm, this fruit called ice apples.

are you a good liar? sure, i think.

what’s your personality type? INFP-T

innie or outtie? innie i think

left or right handed? right handed

favourite food? pasta all the fucking way.

favourite foreign food? majorly missing continental food rn

clean or messy? a mix of both?

most used phrase? "bloody fucking hell."

how long does it take you to get ready? 20 minutes, maybe 30 if i feel good

do you talk to yourself? sure, as long as i dont look crazy

do you sing to yourself? lmfao defo

are you a good singer? i've been told i am?

biggest fear? heights

are you a gossip? idk i think?

long or short hair? currently long, but i need to trim it lmao

favourite school subject? english lit

extrovert or introvert? highly introverted unless im comfortable with ya

what makes you nervous? crowds, people, loud sounds

who was your first crush? uhh,, a girl who used to ride home with me on the bus lol

how many piercings do you have? 8 currently - 1 on my nose, 3 on my left ear, 4 on my right ear

how many tattoos do you have? none as of now

how fast can you run? in what context lmao

what colour is your hair? black

what colour are your eyes? dark brown

what makes you angry? everything i guess

do you like your name? do i? idk, sure

do you want a daughter or a son? unless its a doggo, none.

what are your strengths? i dont know but i can hear stuff from far off, when its not needed

what are your weaknesses? uh, i get nervous and anxious about everything

what’s the colour of your bedspread? beige and white

what’s the colour of your room? uhm, a mix of light blue and brown.

🎀 tagging @starlostseungmin @inkybird @bruh-changbin @whlfchn @hyunverse @svngcore @127kive and whoever wants to do this :))

#[ ❝ ─── games * : ☁️ . ]

[ageofevermore]

1-100 baby, let’s do this!

1. What is you middle name?

Mackenze (mackenzie not fucking mackenz ro)

2. How old are you?

16 (almost 17)

3. When is your birthday?

December 26

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Capricorn 

5. What is your favorite color?

Purple

6. What’s your lucky number?

2

7. Do you have any pets?

No

8. Where are you from?

New Jersey (i mean i’m african america + german + irish)

9. How tall are you?

4’11

10. What shoe size are you?

9 ½ 

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Over 17 ...

12. What was your last dream about?

i have the weirdest fucking dreams ever, but im pretty sure it had something to do with my going back to in person school but ending up at ikea and then their was a Princess bounce house and i saw a little girl i know but then i ran away because i missed my marketing class and cried bc we were drawing octopuses and i got an F... like what the hell is that?!

13. What talents do you have?

none :)

14. Are you psychic in any way?

i mean i have been known to predict a pregnancy... 

15. Favorite song?

WAP? (i have a lot man)

16. Favorite movie?

I HATE movies, but like anything Marvel 

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Idk man, Tom Holland?

18. Do you want children?

Yes, 100%

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Lol, no thanks 

20. Are you religious?

Nope

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes! It’ s one of my favorite places (that sounds horrible but like, i’ve just always enjoyed it their and find it mesmerizing? Also Greys..)

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

No

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Yes, but like really old ones who i don’t even know the name of, oh and the cop from one of the Spiderman movies :)

24. Baths or showers?

Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I’m not wearing socks

26. Have you ever been famous?

Nope

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Yeah

28. What type of music do you like?

Country, Showtunes, Pop, some Rap, Alternative 

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

No

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

I don’t own real pillows, but i do have a body pillow and like a throw pillow...

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my side of my stomach

32. How big is your house?

It’s a ranch, not that big. 3 bedroom, 1 ½ bath

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I don’t eat breakfast 

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

A nerf gun...

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Nope

36. Favorite clean word?

Orgasmic 

37. Favorite swear word?

Twatwaffle, Cuntasaurous, Bitch, Dick, Pussy, Fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Around 48 hours

39. Do you have any scars?

Yup (my favorite ones my boob one bc its the only one i got and it wasn’t because i was being a complete idiot…)

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

It wasn’t a fucking secret this boy is obvious as all hell

41. Are you a good liar?

Yes

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Yeah

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Yup

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I don’t think so

45. What is your favorite accent?

British 

46. What is your personality type?

Mediator INFP-T (mind 64% introverted, energy 63% intuitive, nature 63% feeling, tactics 75% prospecting, identity 75% turbulent)

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

idk

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Middle! 

50. Left or right handed?

Right 

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Yes, get the fuck away from me demons 

52. Favorite food?

PASTA 

53. Favorite foreign food?

chinese ..?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Messy and i hate it

55. Most used phrased?

The fuck?

56. Most used word?

Fuck

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Could take 5 minutes could take 2 ½ hours, and i never wear makeup so don’t even try to start with me about how it takes hours to do makeup, i just genuinely enjoy sitting under blazing hot water in the shower 

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I mean, i dont think so?

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yes , i have like two irls and they never wanna hang our already have plans so im my own company 97% of the time

61. Do you sing to yourself?

ALL THE TIME

62. Are you a good singer?

No, i mean i’m good, but i’m also nowhere near professional 

63. Biggest Fear?

Being alone, being rejected...

64. Are you a gossip?

I mean, i do enjoy some tea time, but i also feel anxious half the time when tea is being spilled lol

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

...American Assassin? Is that dramatic? Endgame? Whats a dramatic movie?!

66. Do you like long or short hair?

LONG LONG LONG 

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Bitch, i can’t even name like 12

68. Favorite school subject?

English

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Extroverted Introvert 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No

71. What makes you nervous?

People...

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Yes, tf, if you aren’t I don’t trust you 

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

No, if i did I would be correcting people 73 times a day when they say my name 

74. Are you ticklish?

Sometimes, in some places. I can turn it off

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

No

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Lol, i mean, maybe?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

I am the queen of drinking at family parties 

78. Have you ever done drugs?

No, but i wanna get high. 

79. Who was your first real crush?

Justin Bieber, but like Harry Styles was two weeks later...i was 6

80. How many piercings do you have?

5 technically 

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Yes 

82. How fast can you type?

Yes 

83. How fast can you run?

I don’t run, tf

84. What color is your hair?

Brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Idk, they were blue, then they were green, then they were hazel, now i think they’re just brown :(

86. What are you allergic to?

Human interaction… but no my favorite flowers, Lilly’s 

87. Do you keep a journal?

No

88. What do your parents do?

My mom was a teacher, and my dad used to work at the DMV

89. Do you like your age?

No, you don’t understand how badly i want to vote 

90. What makes you angry?

Ignorance and Selfishness 

91. Do you like your own name?

No, but it’s been growing on my ig 

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Yes! I have two lists, one of names I love and another of names i’d be willing to agree to if my partner doesn’t like my favorites. 

Girls; Olivia, Amelia, Hazel, Leila, Charlotte, Cove

Boys: Brett, Lincoln, Landon

Unisex; Anderson, Montgomery, Maverick, Ocean, Blake 

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Girl

94. What are you strengths?

Avoiding my problems like they don’t exist 

95. What are your weaknesses?

ADD, anxiety, depression, i mean sorta PTSD i guess surrounding some situations

96. How did you get your name?

My dad named me after Kirsten Dunst (Kyrstin), and my middle name is Mackenze bc Marie is a family name but my mom said ‘lets be original’ bc literally like 6 girls in my family have the middle name Marie

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

No, but my great great great great great grandfather created the brick press

98. Do you have any scars?

Yes 

99. Color of your bedspread?

Pink

100. Color of your room?

Grey

[ryangha]

oh i definitely think youre right about osu n im a lil sleep deprived but yeah!! i was so shocked! and the fact we couldnt seen dana's face while she was ordering sasa to carry out the attack is. hm. i think that osu genuinely thinks what hes doing is for the best, and he approached dana bc of her never showing criminals mercy + he trusts her. osu himself never expected himself to live this long bc the twins cared for him, but morae is someone hold no2 back while at the same time

upturning his entire family. the earlier chapters said he was good at planning and manipulating people to get what he wants, and even in the ‘I’ll trust in you and believe u no matter what so talk to me’ his phrasing felt. concerning ('why are you up?’ 'because everyone decided to leave me alone’/'seeing u is so hard these days it makes me sad’/'I’ll help u with anything, so tell me’) but osu sounds a lot more…. Deliberately Searching for the response he wants in jp so maybe thatscolouring my view. ah, just remembering. osu said he was suprised he lived this long earlier. he himself has made peace with the fact that hes p much a dead man walking and that all his family is immortal and will see him come and go, so seeing him obsess over morae must be making him a lil antsy that no2 may Never get over morae (or him when he dies so this is like. shock therapy) - n u saw how destroyed he was when no2 got arrested.then again, i dont know what mental acrobatics led to this choice bc we dont. spend much time in osus head. or any time actually. he loves no2 and no2 loves morae but i wonder if osu feels a lil detached from morae himself?? like how naga felt about tracy and venom. but instead of trying to be sad he Cant bc morae sucks and gets upset bc of how much anguish this person has put him (osu) through and he hasnt even done so on purpose or met him so osu just wants him gone.N bc no1 is is primary caretaker from what i see and no1s been real fucked up abt morae since forever and that’s another reason osu may want him gone. but i do think he has an inferiority complex abt his health im sorry im like everywhere rn. im not making sense but yeah. basically i agree w everything u said im just Something atm

also i learned on the korean wiki osus longest relationship description is about dana and he has a section entirely dedicated to porn. dana has a section dedicated to her crush on him and her combi name in hs with judas was 'steel cotton candy’ and that added on with the fact that she was shy in her kid years and got teased made her dye her hair. then she cut it bc it was a pain in the ass to wash blood out of it. good night zzz

oh shit soooo that’s a bunch of facts that i have not thought about and youre right. osu really is trying even though if he thought he doesn’t see himself living very long, he at least could see baekmorae coming to his end so that osu will know that no.2 is better off than constantly trying to get him back… hmm i think you were alluded to this scene (this in the eng scene and for my refresher lol):

hmm idk i think it’s not as big as a diff in english but osu definitely sounds like he’s expecting no.2 to spill sumn to him… esp when he starts off saying ‘no one was here when i woke up’ or alike and continues to go on about how not only no.2 is busy but also no.1 (which they are involved with baekmorae’s case nd i think they’re right at least to involve osu as least as possible aside from using his family’s wealth/name in the later chpt) so he feels left in the dark. i don’t think he is in the dark tho he knows more than he lets on for sure… like you said, he’s “Deliberately Searching for the response he wants’ and i can read that in the eng trans as well :) also totally see what the readers are thinking earlier cause! i looked over and readers feared that osu was going to stick on no.2′s side where he would try to help him get baekmorae back, which earlier this chapter no.2 was talking to his sis that she doesnt blame baekmorae since murder was the usual back then, but i’m kinda glad the author wrote osu the complete opposite direction. i think he does look past the fact no.2 desperately wants to redeem himself/make amends to baekmorae and bc baekmorae is such a shitty person, osu would rather help him in the way of getting baekmorae outta his life like some emotionally festering parasite. 

also agreed AGREED that we don’t get into osu’s head or barely any, which is a disappointment cause i know in the beta idwtkoh there was an arc where osu got kidnapped nd i feel like we could’ve known more about osu’s shady character back then compared to official idwtkoh. getting off kilter a little but yeah idk osu for sure knows that he’s sick nd been sick that it’s kinda ironic that his dads are immortal healers that can heal so much with him as an exception. it’s apparent that osu’s strongest relationship is with no.1 and no.2 so to see no.2 struggle with getting baekmorae back is like. YEAH exactly with how crushed osu looks (i also remember how osu apologized to dana nd that face crushed dana in return aaaAA) but i think osu for sure feels detached from baekmorae like. osu might be filling in his place for fake KNIFE but baekmorae is just this figurehead of villainy that SPOON’s been working for long to catch and i just feel like it’s easier for osu to feel apathetic or even dislike for baekmorae since he’s the source of no.2′s pain? well, we dont really know how much osu knows of no.2′s past and how he abandoned baekmorae but like. does osu think it’s the better path to forgive no.2 when he’s trying to apologize/redeem? don’t think osu has put himself in baekmorae’s shoes even though his relationship to no.2 is nearly the same without the mentor/mentee role. but yes, osu is prolly just like ‘if sumn messes up no.2 then they need to leave. permanently.’ or alike lol. it is strange to me how their positions regarding to no.2 are very similar tho…. 

HAH one day ill be able to translate those korean articles concerning osu’s relationship with dana AND dana’s crush on him but today is not that day. just wait for it lol but as recurring it is that osu’s bad habit is porn, i always forget to write about it when im writing osu lol. i didn’t know about dana’s combi name ‘steel cotton candy’ with judas hahaha they both must’ve hated that. idk if that special chpt was translated but dana and judas did dye their hair black without telling each other and thought they copied one another haha. i love these two’s interactions also sad for dana that she got teased for her pink hair. but i know she probably handled it all on her own. OH that’s so badass for her to chop off all her hair cause of the blood……. dana is the best i swear. and thank you for sharing all these facts nd im sorry if my response in turn is lackin cause im kinda out of it too lol but. always a good time talking about idwtkoh, especially a character like osu…….. he was a missed opportunity for more character exploration honestly. 

THANKS AGAIN 

#sorry this took so long #plus i was looking up stuff to match up with u #and idk shit too so #thanks for the discuss!!! #asks #이영싫 #yuissamidare

[le-gug]

ok let me say a word about the opening.im gonna be short.

disclaimer:im grammar destroyer,my english is not really perfect.and also im weird.the end of disclaimer.

sooo what should i say.im mostly good about it.it made me know that yea something interesting gonna happen in new um season?somebody calls it epilogue but i cant forget everybody called it "6th season" so if ya dont mind i would continue call it season.ehem.i hope it should show us something about characters which got not a lot of screen time so we dont know exactly who they are.for example,we know such a little about diamonds!by the way this mysterious looking like white diamond's alter-ego person appeared and maybe it should say us something huh.and the others weirdos on that screen with antagonists i guess.even jasper went to dark side again,ha ha,shes quite touchy.this scene is supposed to be a spoiler but hey who knows what should happen there!lets hope it wont be a big terrible spoiler.big weird spoiler.seriously,just two more lazulis(lapises sounds cringy) and huge mutant cacti steven?lmao.its cool but also funny.(when we'll get a bunch of lazulis just like rubies)

and what about spinel!she also appeared in opening and that makes me happy,i wanna know more about her and im pretty sure ya all want too!i see how the community loves her and she deserves it.

thats all the best sides of it,but i should say i feel a little. . .messy about it.thats because of animation quality,quality of the picture we'll see while listening another story,dialogue or cool song.even in the movie it was a little unsteady.now i fell like they made it for a day and a half on their knees?no way dudes.i wanna just hope they'll think about it.let them do episodes for any longer time but with a quality we deserve.we have a great phrase:"hurry up - you make people laugh".thats literally what happens now.but everyone (exactly in our community idk how its here) hates it.okay,not everyone,but the most,and it makes me sad :( just let them do it as it looked from first to fifth season,nice and pretty.its the only thing i want,the rest is perfect.

also i'll miss we are the crystal gems... :'3

after this season's end in vk should start another su zine which im super waiting for and wanna take a part in it >:D also please if there is some su zines open for applications - let me know! i love zines a lot!

thats all.i had to write this post twice bc my phone loves to imitate death.so often.

:D

#steven universe #le gug does blah blah

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

[nostalgiaispeace]

1942.

1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends. 1. see my baby again. 2. know my baby’s gender. 3. finish a book. 4. watch some of the films on my list. 5. have a harry potter marathon

2. What color are your pants? black

3. Favorite motivational quote. always keep fighting

4. When was the last time you drank coffee? idk

5. What was the last thing you ate?   egg noodles

6. Favorite animal. cats

7. Favorite song. i dont have one

8. Last movie you watched? american tragedy

9. Any turn ons? sure

10. Any turn offs? sure.

11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head. no

12. What are some meaningful movies?   um...the theory of everything

13. 2 most important people in your life right now? my husband and mom

14. What are 3 things you want to do before the month ends? eat thanksgiving, finish my book, watch a christmas movie

15. When was the last time you read a good book? this past week

16. How long do you study for usually, if you study? -

17. Do you have any nicknames? yeah

18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.) warm

19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state? yes

20. What is something unique that you do every single day? idk

21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called? idk

22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone? idk

23. Are you a shopaholic? naw

24. What are some songs that always make you feel better? hamilton soundtrack

25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself. reading, watching movies, sleeping

26. If you could live in any biome (and survive) which biome would you live in? what

27. How do you like being roused in the morning? no

28. How was your day? What did you do? it was fine, i chilled and got groceries

29. What did your last text message say? idk

30. Do you respond to texts quickly? no

31. Who was the last person you called? matt

32. List 5 things that are on your wish list. books

33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for? idk, singing i hope

34. Winter or summer? winter

35. What is a quality that all people should have? patience

36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be? harry potter stuff

37. What have you been thinking about lately? my baby

38. What is the secret to a happy life? being content

39. What are some phrases you say often? idk

40. Favorite food? cheeseburgers

41. List 3 wishes. cant tell you or they wont come true

42. What are some of your greatest fears? losing loved ones, the unknown

43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? britney spears songs

44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? my baby

45. Spicy food:Like or dislike? like

46. Scary movies:Like or dislike? love

47. Do you like to travel? sure

48. Any regrets? well yeah.

49. Do you like rain? I love the rain.

50. What do you spend most of your money on? bills

51. Would you rather visit the past or the future? Past.

52. Favorite clothing store? hot topic

53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down? take a nap!

54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you? often and yes

55. What angers you the most? humans

56. When was the last time you got majorly angry? today

57. When was the last time you got really sad? today.

58. Are you good at lying? no

59. What foreign language would you like to learn? french

60. How many languages can you speak and what are they? english and a tiny bit of french

61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead? never

62. What books do you plan to read this year? idk

63. Do you have breakfast every morning? yes

64. Tell us a secret. uh no

65. How many concerts have you been to? a few

66. Last hug? my husband

67. Who knows you better than anyone else? my mom

68. Baths or showers? Showers.

69. Do you think you’re ambitious? not really

70. What song is stuck in your head? none

71. Countries you’ve visited? just america

72. What do you most value in your friends? i can trust them 73. What helps you to sleep better? the fan

74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand? idk

75. What makes you nervous? life 76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given? always keep fighting

77. Is it easier to forgive or forget? forgive

78. First mobile phone? a flip one

79. Strangest dream? idk

80. Best dream? idk

81. Who is the smartest person you know? jordan

82. Who is the prettiest person on tumblr? idk

83. Do you miss anyone right now? yes

84. Who do you love? Why? my husband

85. Do you like sharing? sure

86. What was the last picture you took with your phone? my christmas tree

87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens? i hope so

88. Favorite genre of music? rock 89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be? Mess.

90. Describe your life in 5 words. no

91. Describe the world in 4 words. no

92. Craziest thing you’ve ever done? get married

93. First three songs in your favorite playlist? no

94. Are you more creative or logical? creative

95. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth? neither

96. What are you most proud of? im not sure

97. What personality trait do you admire in other people? patience

98. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing? reading on the porch

99. How do you usually start a conversation? idk

100. What is the best news you could hear right now? my baby is healthy!

#me #survey

[undinefin]

Love Post (fuck you guys)

ok! SO! since some people decided to show me up and do extra long paragraphs and make me a friggin playlist, obviously I had to do something too!!!  this is going to be a long post, so there is heavy scrolling involved. I'm sorry.

also, i'd like to apologize to the people that i wasn't able to write stories for, be it I haven't known you enough, or im just a horrible friend (im sorry ood i will write u all the sanic fanfic) im really really sorry!!! 

tbh you dont even have to read the stories if you dont want to??

PLEASE READ THIS: this is the authors note where i essentially justify the mess (or messes if you decide to read all of them) that you are about to lay ya eyes on. i wrote most of these in a non-lucid state, fuelled only by anger and lack of sleep. they aren't the most amazing things. akire, you have another note before yours bc reasons. also im on the computer there will be no emojis sorry im lazy

the story order goes!: Boo CP Fath Nom Kiki Akire ^^ roughly based on story length. 

first however, i'm gonna get other mutuals their love posts!!!

@fooderaser​ : Ch!! The gc misses you so much aahhh i haven't talked to you in so long :(((( i'm sorry i didn't write you a story, and honestly the whole "haven't talked to you enough" is a poor excuse but really, if and when you're available i'll write you all the stories!!! you are so kind, and whenever we are blessed by your presence in the gc it's so nice! you bring this energy in that's so refreshing, and i've seen that post!! You're so beautiful!! I hope to be able to talk to you more! <3 

@sambashua​: Mir, I haven't known you for a long time, but you seem really nice!! I'm glad i have another friend to yell about Haikyuu!! with. SEEAASON FOUR BETTER COME OUT AND WHEN IT DOES WE SHALL Y E L L. im also glad to be a fellow cheermander, and will continue to work on the fy-charmander blog! hope we can talk more!!

@coralinfluencershark​: AUD MY DOD WHO HAS A GREAT BOD (i just thought of that today are you proud) i love you sosososoossoososos much words cant even describe it. again, i'm sorry i didnt write you the sanic x peach x dobby fanfic that i know you are dying to read. YOU ARE SO SWEET AND NICE AND CARE ABOUT ISSUES AND ITS GREAT and you are a lil strange (please, if you have to, BUY a verbal filter) but you are very loved. i love spending time with you, and you never fail to make me laugh. you'RE SO COOL ADN YOU CAN SKATE and are so much smarter than you think you are. im excited for bnha season 3, so on that note, i leave you with this (i sent it to u but idk if u watched it)

@juliaplatinumerr: JU CHAAAAN !!! i love you a lot a lot we have known each other for so long and thANK YOU for still keeping in contact with me it's honestly so magical. IM SORRY I DIDNT WRITE YOU ANYTHING I HAVE NO GOOD EXCUSE i can only offer my presence (aka we should hang out sometime??) and i might go back to japan so if u want anything hmu!! really you're so nice, and reliable, and i love that i can still talk to you and help you!! really really, I love you a lot!!

alrighty now we can move onto the stories!!! i'm so sorry this is a mess. love you all. btw the love paragraphs are arguably gonna be shorter...maybe.

Truthfully, I had no idea where I was going with any of these, and the writing is mediocre at best (because I know I can do better but…haahhhh) so yeah. If anything think of them as like….random little scenarios that I wrote up in which I am not-so-discreetly complimenting y’all in about 1000-2000 words. I don’t think there’s any romance??? Like if there is its like pure n shit but im still not the most comfortable with writing self insert also age! Anyways, apologies in advance. I wasn’t lucid during the making of any of these.

paragraphs look so fugly in tumblr oml.

@caramelmacch1ato​: BOOOOOOO!!! I actually love you sosos much i cant even start to describe it. You're so sweet and so smart wtf please teach me. i love reading your goodnight posts that i think you've sent nearly every night??? thats impressive damn. YOU ARE IMPRESSIVE I AM IMPRESSED BY YOU. i hope you enjoy the story i have no idea whats happening. love youuu <333

Remember

Boo had been to tons of concerts before, she’d been lucky enough to even get Meet n’ Greet tickets for Day6, where she met her bias Jae. He was funny, and strange, but also beautiful and amazing. There were still so many groups she wanted to see live, like Seventeen and Astro, but when Day6 was hosting their second live in America, she was definitely going.

Getting tickets was always a hassle, and even if Day6 didn’t have 4 billion followers (though they deserved it) you had to be clicking ‘check out’ the second the tickets were released to get Fansign tickers. Though, Boo always managed to pull through.

Fast forward about three weeks and Boo was once again lining up with a large poster board outside of the Day6 concert venue. It was a little chilly, as they were performing in February, but it was a birthday gift for Boo, so the cold didn’t bother her too much.

The anticipation killed her, “I Wait,” yeah, she sure as hell did. It took another fifteen minutes for the venue to dim, and the five members of Day6 ran onstage. Screams filled the theatre, and they didn’t stop for the next two hours. Boo’s Korean had improved since the last concert, and during the times where they would MC, she was able to pick up some words. 

Her poster was a light-up one, with nine pictures of the Day6 members, and a neon title spelling out “According to this mood board, how are you feeling today?” During one of their songs, she could have sworn Jae pointed at it and laughed. 

Jae had easily captured her heart, and he played a large part as to why Day6 was her bias group. He was funny, attractive, and had a beautiful voice. The fact that he spoke English was also helpful, in that she could sometimes understand him (“sometimes” because let’s face it, half of what he said was meme garbage).

The boys were doing a game section, in which they had to name their songs by the intro music as fast as they could. Whoever got the most right would draw from a lottery, and the lucky person would come up on stage to receive a prize. YoungK was winning, with Jae at a close second. Dowoon was surprisingly third, and Wonpil and Sungjin were tied for last place.

Familiar music filled the room, and the fans were shouting out the answers arguably faster than any of the boys. Jae hit his buzzer. “그렇더라고요!” he shouted eagerly. With this he was tied with Younghyun. “Or, When You Love Someone,” he followed up, remembering that the audience was English.

“I LOVE YOU JAE,” Boo screamed, her voice was hoarse from the fanchants, and general shouting, but she wasn’t fazed. Some other fans in the audience added on, and Jae bore a proud look. YoungK rolled his eyes but laughed, and Dowoon mumbled something about how he should’ve guessed that, since those were his drums.

Boo, able to pick up his worry due to her knowledge and proximity to the stage followed up with a, “YOU’RE PERFECT DOWOON.” Dowoon perked up, and others also shouted words of encouragement to him, as well as the other members.

The concert slipped away all too soon, and many were upset that their time with Day6 was over. The Hi-touch ticket holders went to give the members a quick high-five before leaving, practically worshipping their hands.

Boo got in line for the Jae Meet n’ Greet, which was very long. She was one of the last people to join, and the other lines were beginning to fill up as well. Boo watched the other people meet the members, some cried, others laughed, and a few even gave them gifts! The MyDays were very respectful though, and Boo was proud to be a part of them.

The minutes ticked by, and her poster felt heavier by the second. Boo checked her makeup to ensure she didn’t look like a total wreck. Jumping up and down, and singing along to songs was a lot more work than it seemed. Her makeup looked clean though, and there was one zit that she couldn’t cover up, but she could hide it with her hair.

“Hi there!” Jae smiled. Boo smiled back shyly, as always, he was even more beautiful in person! His smile was radiant, and despite how tired he was from performing, his face still looked energetic, like a puppy. “I’m number eight by the way,” he mentioned.

“Number eight?” Boo repeated, confused. 

Jae pointed to her poster, “Yeah on your mood board! Feeling totally pumped today, I also look especially fabulous in that photo! But number two, Sungjin eating…. that’s a close one.”

Boo laughed, “I think I’m also eight. Seeing you guys really gets me excited, I love your music a lot.”

Jae grinned, “That’s good, but I’m the main reason, right? My looks are so attractive that it compelled you to buy a ticket! 

“Of course,” Boo agreed jokingly.

“That laugh…you’re the ‘Okie Dokie Artichokie’ girl, aren’t you? I say it all the time to piss off Brian, he says I say it stupidly.”

Jae remembered her laugh, Jae remembered her.

“That’s because you do!” YoungK hissed. The girl that was meeting with him laughed as well.

Jae pulled his face into a strange expression, with his eyes looking upwards and a frown upon his lips. “OkIE doKiE, ArticHOkie,” he jested. His voice sounded like Goofy from Mickey Mouse, and Jae couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the end. He added finger guns that pointed at Boo.

“I’m proud,” Boo wiped an invisible tear from her eye.

“You should be, how have I never known this before?” Jae agreed seriously.

“Such ignorance for a wonderful phrase, I’m glad I was at least able to teach it to you, even though it was late.”

“As your follower in the religion of mood boards, and random phrases, I appreciate the important lesson.” The two of them continued back and forth, as their scenario grew more and more outrageous. It was when aliens were brought into the conversation that the two broke out into laughter.

 “That was fun, you’re fun,” Jae exclaimed. “You’re funny too, and nice! An ideal Myday, but most importantly, you stan me! Which makes you the most ideal Kpop fan of all!”

“Well…you are my ultimate bias,” Boo admitted.

“ULTIMATE!?” Jae guffawed. He turned to Younghyun, “Hear that? I’m her ultimate bias.” Jae bore a proud look on his face. He turned back to Boo, “Well, I’m just so handsome and talented that it’d be hard not to have me as an ultimate bias! Though everyone is starting to appreciate the other members’ individual looks, which is nice. Your looks could rival even mine!”

Boo blushed at that. As much as Jae joked(?) about how godly his face was, no one could actually deny it. He was very attractive after all, and being compared to that by the man himself, Boo was half certain she was dreaming.

“Thank you, I tried hard for you tonight,” Boo smiled.

“Ah see, that’s a killer smile right there. The makings of an idol! All you have to do now is learn some Korean and it’ll be smooth sailing from there. With all your charisma and caring-ness, the companies will be fighting over you!” Jae gleamed at her.

Jae noticed the time was ticking by, and the other girls in line were still waiting. “Alright Ms. Artichokie, is there a better name I can call you?”

“Boo.”

Jae grinned and held out his hand. “Alright Boo, I hope you come to lots of concerts, and if you DO sign under a label be sure to tell me,” he winked at her, “Till then, I’ll remember you, Boo.”

@howcaniwait: CP overlord, you are truly the glue that sticks this mess of a gc together. i love you so much its actually so overwhelming for ma lil heart. you are so sweet, and you have evolved so much!! to love kpop!!!!! you're so beautiful thoSE EYEBROWS MAN and you're so easy to talk to and get along with and wE LIKE P!ATD YAAY. really you're actually one of the smartest people i know and i know sometimes it gets overwhelming but you're so smart i know you are!! again, i hope the story does some justice??? its kinda lame but whATEVER

Five Minutes 

The chances that you’d meet someone famous were quite slim, and it seemed that if you were a fan of said celebrity, the chances would be even slimmer. Taken that CP didn’t live in a largely visited country for artists, to even perform in, her chances were slimmer.

But CP loved the artists that she did nonetheless. Maybe a year ago she was wary of them, and she even made fun of the people that liked them! But slowly, very slowly, she began to have a change of heart. Day6 was something different compared to the other ones she had heard of at the time. Their music was magic, and the people who made that music were beyond skilled. She fell in love with them fast, and the one who caught her eye was none other than Kang Younghyun.

He had remained her ultimate bias for a year of Kpop adventures, which involved spending a lot of time online staring at pretty boys singing, dancing, and talking. Despite all the amazing idols she had seen, nothing could top her love for YoungK of Day6.

“You hear that CP?” A hand waved in front of her face. Kiki and L were sitting in front of her, at a restaurant in Korea Town. “They don’t have any more Bibimbap,” Kiki recapped. After tons and tons of pestering from her friends, and saving up, as well as a generous Christmas gift, CP was able to meet her friends in the place where YoungK had studied, Toronto.

“Ah, then I’ll have the….” CP quickly looked at the menu, “Tteok-bokki.” It was the cheapest option.

The three had energetic conversations about Kpop stars, as all avid fans of the music. It ranged from trying to discern the song that was playing in the restaurant, to showing Kiki various images in hopes that her alter ego would come out.

“Stop!” Kiki whined, the last picture of Bambam was starting to push her off the edge.

L nodded, “Yeah, please stop we don’t need that in this nice restaurant.”

“I can’t help it! You guys are the ones showing me the images!” Kiki argued.

“In this Good Christian Restaurant?” CP ignored her friend. “Control yourself,” she gave Kiki a stern look, despite being the one showing her the images. Kiki mumbled something under her breath.

The food in the restaurant was good, and CP thought that the Tteok-bokki was actually pretty delicious. Half way through the meal L sighed loudly.

“The damn subways are closed, I have to take the bus home. I hate taking the bus,” she informed the others. Kiki laughed, she could walk home from their location. CP was getting picked up by her parents, so it wasn’t a big deal for her too. “I’m probably going to have to leave early.”

The plan was that they’d eat, then go to a Kpop store with a good stock of albums. After another fifteen minutes, L apologized before setting down some money for her portion of the meal and then leaving to catch the bus. 

“That sucks,” Kiki sighed. “We can still go though, that’s fine, right?” CP nodded. They finished paying and then left for the store. The remaining snow on the ground was mostly slush, and even though the sun was out, a chill still remained in the air. CP was glad she wore her boots.

The store clerks greeted them nicely, and Kiki showed her to the Day6 section of the store, before going to buy another album to add to her collection. With the remaining $25, CP decided to buy Daydream.

“Maybe I should buy a BTR album in Toronto too…” CP wondered aloud, purposely saying it so that Kiki could hear 

Kiki’s enraged expression was hardly fake, “Don’t you dare mention that name within my sanctuary of Kpop albums!”

CP laughed, “It was a joke, a joke.” Kiki grumbled, unconvinced. The two of them left the store, that they admittedly spent far too long in. Kiki managed to find a poster of an Astro member, and the searching alone took around ten minutes.

“You want me to wait with you?” Kiki asked.

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” she assured her friend. Kiki lingered for a bit, before the cold air started getting to her. She said her goodbye, and promised to meet again.

CP had around five minutes until her parents would pick her up, those five minutes would possibly be the most fantastical five minutes of her life thus far. It started with her taking out her new Day6 album, because damnit they didn’t put their music on any platforms. CP quickly cracked it open, curious to see her photo card. She wouldn’t risk opening it anymore, lest she drop it in the slush. A picture of Wonpil staring into the camera at the beach was inside. She took it out to admire the photo. Even if he wasn’t her bias, CP was a good Kpop stan who appreciated all the members.

CP looked up for the briefest moment. She noticed someone rather tall, asking various people for something. Though, through the bustle of the streets no one seemed to stop and reply to him. CP looked closer, there was something so painfully familiar about him, and maybe it was the shock, or the sunglasses, but CP couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

“Excuse me, miss?” the man had come up to her. He had a slight accent, but his words were still clear. 

“Oh! Yes?” CP responded, somewhat startled.

The man sighed, “Finally. Do you have any toonies, or tokens? The subway is closed down, and I need to take the bus. It’s been a while…I’m still not completely familiar with this section of Toronto. 

CP didn’t say anything, but rummaged through a bag she had brought. She was still racking her brain, trying to think of who it was. But…it couldn’t be him. There was no way, this would have to be some shitty story that was written to the ideals of mere humans.

She handed him a token that her mother had given her just in case. “Thank you, you’re very kind,” he smiled at her.

CP knew that smile, almost as much as she knew the music that it went with. “You…you’re YoungK, right?”

Younghyun hummed. Normally he’d deny it, not cause a fuss, because even if people didn’t know you, they’d still try to take pictures just so they could say ‘I met YoungK.’ But something felt different, maybe it was her kindness, or the Wonpil picture she held between her fingers, or just a feeling, but something was different.

“I am,” he smiled again. He saw her face light up. Contrasting to all the dreary slush, and grey air, her smile and eyes were shining brightly. Her eyes were soft, but still looking at him in awe, and her smile was beautiful, big, and loving. “Would you like a signature?” Younghyun offered.

CP opened her mouth, though nothing audible came out. Instead she nodded, and held out the new album. Her heart was beating faster than it ever had before. Thousands of thoughts, questions, and horrible conversation starters were floundering around her head, but none of them were spoken. 

“Thank you,” she finally said. “Thank you so much. You…your music, your voice, everything is so amazing! You know I wasn’t a huge fan of Kpop, but I listened to you guys, and it was like a whole new sky had opened up for me.” Her voice was filled with amazement, as if she was singing praises, she practically was. CP was thoroughly grateful.

YoungK handed back the album. “Thank you,” his voice was firm. “Thank you for supporting us. Day6 would be nothing without our fans. I would just be a guy with a nice voice. You’ve given us something amazing, more than any of us could comprehend.” His eyes focused on her. “I’m glad that our fans are kind ones like you, and I’m glad I was able to change your heart. Can I call you something?”

CP was still in shock that the Kang Younghyun was talking to her, was complimenting her! “Uh…I’m known as Charlie by my friends…” she mumbled.

“Okay, Charlie, maybe we’ll meet again. Thank you so much!” he began to back away.

CP quickly sprung to action. “Wait!” she called. “Could I…could I get a picture? Is that okay? 

YoungK laughed, “Sure. Really, you’re so considerate, even just asking for a picture.”

Five minutes. It had been five minutes, and her parents pulled up. CP was still going through the scenario in her head over and over again. She had met YoungK.

Just as Younghyun had met Charlie.

@lollipopp3725: FATTHHHH!!!!!! oh gods when you were added to the chat and i found out we couLD YELL ABOUT UTAITE AND HAIKYUU you saw me i was literally having a breakdown i was so happy. so thank you for putting up with all my rants about them! you're so sweet!! i loved the story you wrote, jesus that angst man. you're so nice, and so energetic aND YOUR PUNS ARE TOP QUALITY. good puns, you could call them...aJUN nice. i know you had like a few other people that you heavily biased but here's jun!

Hugs 

Fath was growing a little impatient.

Weeks ago, somehow, miraculously, she had been able to buy a Seventeen album from a store and her parents were not aware of exactly what she had purchased. Fath knew that Seventeen was in Singapore for a tour, but when she opened her album to find a ballot to the fansign, she almost had a heart attack.

Fath knew that having one ballot was nothing, and there was nearly no chance of her getting into the event, but she couldn’t risk buying the album again. Even so, Fath filled out the ballot, because “nearly no chance” was better than no chance at all. Despite that, she still had little faith in the ballot. People would buy ten albums, twenty, or even fifty just to get into the fansign. It was a groundless dream.

So, when Fath received the news that she was accepted into the fansign, she went into shock for a good few minutes before muffling her cries into a pillow. Fath’s heart wouldn’t calm down – she swore it was working harder than when she did physical activity – and she kicked at the air, trying to contain her excitement.

There was only one problem now. Her parents.

They weren’t fans of music to begin with, finding it distracting, especially what they classified as “teenager music.” Kpop was worse. They disregarded anything Kpop, and Fath had remained a closeted fan in the presence of her parents.

The most Fath could do was tell them she was going out with a friend, and hope they wouldn’t question her too much. If they asked why there was a strange bulk in her bag, maybe she could say it was a book and hope they weren’t suspicious. Fath thought herself an okay liar, so she could get by. The fansign shouldn’t take more than an hour after all.

Fath only got a few, “When will you be back” and “Tell us if anything changes” before getting the approval to go out. She texted a friend to tell them about the plan, just in case her parents asked about it later.

The location of the fansign was a little far out, but it would only be a half our train ride, then a short walk. There were only a few delays on the train, which in turn resulted in an extra ten minute ride, but Fath still had around fifteen minutes before the fansign started. The air was crisp, and the sky was especially clear. Fath quickened her pace.

The building was one of the smaller ones on the block, only going up to about three stories high. The e-mail said to go downstairs, and the staff members would help guide you to the fansign location.

Fath luckily only took one wrong turn, and was quickly redirected into the proper room. About a hundred other girls were there, all bustling with excitement. It was loud, and everyone seemed to be talking to everyone. Before Fath could join into any conversation of “who’s your bias,” or “which album do you like best,” a middle-aged man stood at the front to gather everyone’s attention.

“Alright everyone, please listen carefully,” the feedback from the microphone whined, sending out a sound a little too high for humans to comprehend, but low enough just to pierce their eardrums. The man apologized, and proceeded to explain how the fansign would work.

Essentially, after Seventeen answered questions from the post-it notes, everyone would line up under who they had slotted, and they’d have a short time to chat, only about a minute. The members would sign a poster, and you could give gifts. The fansign wasn’t too strict, despite the band being Seventeen.

And that brought Fath to the present, where she was getting impatient. She had the Jun fansign slot, and was currently waiting in line to meet him. She was fine with that; the waiting was fine. What was annoying her was that she had been waiting for nearly forty minutes, and Fath was finally at the front of the line, but the girl in front of her was taking a long time. They were only supposed to have a minute when the fansign part started, but Fath was certain this girl had been clinging to Jun for nearly two minutes now. She was the last person in line, and a lot of the other lines were almost done too.

There was a sudden cry. Fath turned to see a burst of water sailing through the air. A pipe had sprung loose in the building, and the girls near it, as well as Dino were getting sprayed with water.

Chaos ensued. The water was getting more intense, as other breaks in the pipes were slowly forming. Both the fans, staff members, and Seventeen hastily ran away from the scene. After a few moments of ensuring no one was hurt, the middle-aged man stood up again.

“The fansign is now closed. We’re sorry for the inconvenience, but this is both the allocated time of closing, and considering the problem, we have to close it down anyways. If you were unable to receive the posters, please pick them up at the front,” he announced.

Most of the girls didn’t mind, they had already met with one of the members. Fath however, did mind. She didn’t care about the posters (well she did but not as much as) she cared about meeting Jun. In the crowd, she couldn’t even see him. Like the other members, he was probably already being escorted away.

Fath felt like screaming, or crying. Either were fine. She thought that maybe, just maybe she’d be able to meet her bias. She’d be able to talk to them. But it was ruined because what? A broken pipe and some insensitive girl who took too long. It was unfair. Fath was the last girl in line to talk to Jun. It was frustrating if anything, but a small part of her said “What do you expect?” All that risk with her parents for nothing.

Most of the girls had already left the room, trying to avoid the growing puddle of water. Fath followed, trudging along, when someone tapped her shoulder.

Truthfully, Fath wasn’t in the mood to talk to someone. She wanted to grab her poster and go, but the voice that spoke certainly wasn’t a fan.

“You are…l…last?” 

The voice was too deep to be a girl’s, and the accent and broken English was all Fath needed to turn around to see who was talking to her.

It was Jun. He turned around to face Vernon, who mouthed him something else. “I am…sorry,” he said robotically. Fath felt like crying again, but for another reason. Jun was talking to her, Jun wanted to speak to her.

“Thank you,” she breathed.

Jun smiled at the recognizable words, “You’re welcome.” He stared a while, seeming to be thinking before opening his mouth again. “You like…something? Hand?” Jun held out his hand low enough to be a handshake, but high enough to go for a high five.

Fath noticed the other members walking out another exit. “Thank you so much! You probably have to go but…can I have a hug?”

“Hug?”

Fath felt awkward, he wasn’t too clear on what a hug was. “You…you know…arms around each other,” she lifted her arms as if pretending to go into the hug. Jun nodded and made a sound before raising his arm and hugging Fath.

It was a good hug. Jun was warm, which made Fath feel warm, and protected too. Jun lingred in the position, staying as they were for just a bit longer. Fath lightly rested her head against him, mumbling another thank you. The idol looked at her and smiled. His smile was cute, beautiful. Fath could’ve melted right then and there.

Jun pulled away, giving Fath one last smile before leaving. Maybe she didn’t officially have her fansign, but who cares because she just got to hug Jun.

@achuu-nice: nomiTH NOM NOOMMOFSNDK! i love you. you are the bestest mom i could think of anD YOU ARE SO SO SWEET!!! MUCH CARE!!! thank you for also suffering through the haikyuu angst fic, come to me and yell when you are done. no but seriously you are so nice and kind and even though i am the hype woman u give me lots of hype. so nice. I HOPE YOU ENJOY JEONGHAN. i loveeee you!!!

I’m sorry, this got out of hand

~A magical world in which nom and hannie can understand each other~

Angel

Nom was always the mother of the group. She was responsible, and always cared for her friends, regardless of whether they were actually younger than her or not. It fit, Nom the mom, Mom, and she truly loved all those dubbed as her children. But other than her name, what was it exactly that attracted people to her mom-ness? As well, would Nom ever know how it feels to be mommed? Truly, such questions were ones that could hardly ever be answered.

It was one fateful day, Nom was innocently listening to Teen, Age as she walked to buy more bird feed. Flower was booming in her earbuds, and when Jeonghan’s voice came on at exactly 2:42, she completely forgot her surroundings.

The bike came out of nowhere. She could hardly hear the bike bell over the sound of the music. She looked up to see the bike speeding towards her, and the person riding it screaming something. 

It happened in an instant. Nom’s vision went fuzzy, and an incessant ringing was going off in her ears. There was a bright light, and then a warm voice.

Nom…

The voice was soft, and Nom could have sworn there was a slight echo to it. The voice was not clear, was she unconscious?

Nom…wake up…

It sounded very familiar…but something was different. If it was really that voice, then there would be an accent, and that was even assuming he could speak English. But this voice…it spoke in perfect English with practically no accent. The white light was still there, and Nom was fairly certain she was still awake.

Open your eyes…child…

Child? Did the voice call her child? When was she ever the child? Nom tried to “open her eyes,” but nothing changed. Her eyes were definitely open, and for whatever reason nothing actually hurt, despite being hit by the bike. Speaking of which, was not there. Where was the bike? Nom looked down, where was the road? She was in some strange white plane, with mist floating around everywhere. 

Nom opened her mouth, seeing if she could at least talk, “My…my eyes are open. Maybe you could turn down the brightness?” Her suggestion was earnest. A soft Oh could be heard and slowly the bright light disappeared, leaving what Nom could only describe as an angel.

He had beautiful feathers, they were sleek but still fluffy that were folded to covered his body. Some of them protruded from the main structure of the wings, and others had fallen to his feet. The wings encircled his body, and a halo of light rested lightly above his long, light brown hair.

With a flurry of feathers, the angel unfurled his wings to reveal his full body. The hair was pulled into a loose braid that ended just past his shoulders. His skin was smooth, so perfect that Nom was nearly convinced what she was seeing was an actual angel. He was clad in a loose white button-up shirt, with the last two buttons not done up, and fitted black jeans. He wore white running shoes of a brand that Nom didn’t recognize, and a silver bracelet.

“Jeonghan?” Nom said hesitantly.

‘Jeonghan’ smiled at her, “So you know my name, I’m glad.” His smile seemed to literally glow.

Gathering her thoughts and courage, Nom began to ask her questions, “Are you really him? There’s no way, right? Hannie speaks Korean, he lives in Korea, in fact, if you are him you should be in Korea now.” 

“Well…I suppose I am him? But not at the same time, it can be complicated. Simply put, think of me as like an astral projection of your Jeonghan, though you aren’t physically meeting, this plane and circumstance has allowed our minds to connect. Should you ever meet for real, both of you would remember this meeting and each other,” the angel Jeonghan replied.

Nom cocked her head to the side, “Circumstance? Oh…Oh yeah! Wasn’t I like, hit by a bike? Am I unconscious? Aren’t you just a figment of my imagination?” Though, if he was, Nom gave her imagination a large pat on the back, because Angel Jeonghan was masterfully thought up.

A bittersweet expression crossed Jeonghan’s face, “I’m sure you’re wondering about the wings.”

“I am.” 

“Well…like I said, this plane that is invisible to normal humans is what is allowing us to meet. The wings and halo are uh…part of the job I suppose,” Jeonghan started. “Do you believe in guardian angels, Nom?”

Nom thought, “I suppose they’d be nice, but I don’t really pray to my guardian angel or anything like that." 

“Well, I’m your guardian angel!” Jeonghan exclaimed. He seemed very excited, and his wings flapped, emulating his emotions. A few feathers around his feet flew up from the sudden wind.

Nom could only stare, gaping. A small laugh escaped her, though she quickly apologized.

“I suppose that’s hard to believe, after all, there are many other instances in which I could have saved you,” Jeonghan reached out to ruffle her hair. “The truth is, certain qualifications have to be met, if everyone was being saved by their guardian angel, the world would be thrown off balance, would it not?”

“Sorry, I’m still trying to wrap my head around that fact that Jeonghan is my guardian angel. I mean…I suppose him being an angel isn’t that far off but…my angel?” Nom felt truly blessed, and if this was her imagination, it was both the best and cruelest scenario it could think up.

“I really am! And you…you far exceed the qualifications needed. I’m actually the guardian angel for many people, I represent…well aside from all the major religious stuff, generally caring about others, and being a good person,” Jeonghan finished. Nom could believe that. Jeonghan was certainly caring, and he loved his members a lot. He enjoyed helping them and listening to their problems.

“So I had to be…a good mom?” Nom asked.

Jeonghan laughed, maybe it was the whole angelic thing, but it truly sounded like a bell. “You could call it that. Nom you are more than kind. You care so much for your friends, and take the time to talk to them.”

“Wait you can see the stuff I do!?” Nom’s voice was anxious.

Jeonghan grinned, “Only the stuff relevant to the whole angel thing.” Nom let out a sigh of relief. “You’re sweet, and are so nice to your friends, and try to stay mature when needed. And speaking from Jeonghan the Kpop Star, you’re a wonderful fan! You appreciate the members, and respect other fans. Truly, it’s your acts of kindness and being so sweet that allowed me to help you!”

“Oh! So you brought me to this plane because…I wouldn’t be hurt by the bike?” 

“Exactly!” Jeonghan reached out to pat her on the head. “Would you like a hug? I’m very good at hugging people.”

Nom nodded, and leaned into the angel. It was warm, and a loose feather tickled her nose. Jeonghan hummed happily. “I think our time is up. I’ll do my best to watch over you, as your angel.”

@maetaamong: oghetjdfkv kiki i actually love you so much there aren't any words. gahh you picked me up at swim and was the one that allowed me to meet everyone here, and for that i am so grateful. you're so fun to be around and you cARE so much and i love you for that. thank you for putting up with my idiocy, and thank you for teaching me all~~ about kpop. i'll work hard!! i believe in your situations and i really love you sososo much !!! FIGHTING!!!

Urs are the only universe in which you personally know the idol bc u are a spoiled brat love u also somehow u can understand each other??? You probably learned Korean or smt. U like…can choose if ya in a relationship or just friends idc man there’s no kissy kissy so . also u are older

Loud

“Kiki! Look! Look at this one!” The tall boy happily bounced towards the blonde, with a book in hand. The cover was two shades of blue, and obnoxious text that looked like it was an early 2007 meme. The title was Does God Ever Speak Through Cats? and Minhyuk seemed very excited about this question.

“I know it sounds stupid, but! He brings up some really good points? Don’t you think Bay acts strangely sometimes? It has to be the work of God!” he declared, which earned a few nasty stares from other patrons.

Kiki sighed and apologized to the startled customers, “Min, you do realize we are at a public library, and you’re being very loud?”

Minhyuk’s face fell, and he pouted innocently, “Sorry…should we go somewhere else?” His voice sounded remorseful, and even though he was taller than Kiki, she resisted the urge to pat him on the head. She could practically see the dog ears flapping over in guilt.

“It’s fine, you just have to be quiet. I just want to find a good book,” Kiki said softly.

“Okay, sorry, I know how much you like to read. Whatever you buy, I’ll pay,” he offered.

Kiki turned to him, with an incredulous look on her face, “Min, this is the public library. I have a library card, there’s no need for you to pay.”

Minhyuk, slightly annoyed by this fact, just mumbled in response and went back to browse the shelves for another strange book. He wasn’t a huge fan of reading, finding that he definitely didn’t have enough patience for it, and that reading words off a page simply weren’t exciting enough for him 

Though, the boy’s moodiness disappeared almost completely when he wordlessly handed Kiki another book. Teach Your Wife to be a Widow was a rather old looking book.

Kiki couldn’t hold back her laughter, “Is…is this supposed to be romantic or threatening? Calling me your wife…that’s sweet but this certainly isn’t how I thought it would go.”

Minhyuk giggled in response, “It’s both!” Another “shhh” was directed at him, to which he hastily apologized and trailed after Kiki, who disappeared into the ‘Fantasy’ section. She skimmed through the books, thumbing the spines of the ones that interested her from purely the title and art.

She had read a few of them, some didn’t catch her interest, while others had storylines far too similar to books already done. A book caught her eye. It had a bright blue cover, with the words Shatter Me written in blue and white font. Kiki pulled it out of the shelf. The cover had an eye on it. That was a good sign. Books with eyes on them usually had some cool theme going on. A quick skim of the summery told her that it was indeed a dystopian novel – her favourite genre – and that people had powers.

“What’s that? You gonna get it?” Minhyuk appeared out of nowhere. Kiki decided not to mention that even without him literally shouting out a stupid statement, his voice was still loud.

“Might,” she replied. Minhyuk sighed loudly, and finally one of the workers came up to him and asked him politely to “shut up or get out.” Minhyuk placed a hand over his mouth and actually kept this there as Kiki signed out the book. The pair could’ve sworn that people breathed a sigh of relief as they left the library.

As soon as they stepped out Minhyuk’s loud voice returned, “When we get to your room, I can be as loud as I want, right?”

“Of course,” Kiki laughed. Her apartment was a few blocks away from the library, both of which were on a beautiful promenade. They arrived at her apartment, which was a simple red brick building with white highlights around the windows, and a black roof. They climbed up three flights of stairs and walked to her room. 

Kiki set down her keys and took off her shoes. “Want anything to drink?”

Minhyuk didn’t skip a beat, “Green tea please. I’ll put on the water.” He filled up the kettle with water and waited for it to heat up. Kiki decided to drink some too, and took out a tea pot. 

“Are we really gonna read? On my precious day off?” Minhyuk whined. Kiki wanted to say that it was him just poking fun at her, but she knew very well that he wasn’t too excited.

“Only a bit, then we can do something more interesting. Maybe you’ll like the story.”

“Unlikely.”

“Aww c’mon it won’t be that bad. Just the first few pages. Really, thank you for spending your ‘precious day off’ with me– geez that expression, you’re so cute. I promise reading isn’t the only thing we’ll do.”

Minhyuk couldn’t hold back a smile, “Thanks for letting me spend it with you. You’re nice, and fun, and caring. But I wish you would stop calling me cute. I’m not cute!”

Kiki stared at his flustered face, “I beg to differ.” The kettle began to whistle and they each poured themselves a cup of tea.

They spent the first twenty pages just sitting next to each other on Kiki’s bed. “You’re going too fast,” Minhyuk would say. Kiki would wait after finishing a page for Minhyuk to nod. After a while Minhyuk started to complain about how the position hurt his neck, and his posture was bad.

“Well, how should we sit?” Kiki asked. Minhyuk had a devilish grin on his face, and grabbed Kiki by her waist. She shrieked from the sudden contact, and Minhyuk pulled her into him. He bended his legs and Kiki was now sitting in front of him, between his legs. Minhyuk’s back was warm, and his arms were unconsciously-consciously wrapped around the girl.

“Won’t this hurt your neck more?”

“I’m taller than you so it’s fine.” Kiki decided to let him do what he wanted.

Another few minutes passed before Minhyuk spoke up again, “This girl is stupid.”

“Annoying,” Kiki agreed. “And this guy they’ve brought in…he’s just supposed to be the guard. I mean it’s kind of cute?”

“He’s too moody, too stiff,” Minhyuk said into Kiki’s ear. “He should be more like me." 

“Well they are in a prison,” Kiki pointed out. Minhyuk only clicked his tongue in response. Bored, he reached over to turn on her fairy lights.

Another thirty pages passed, and the love triangle of the story finally started to show up. Though the second contestant seemed a lot less desirable. “You know…” Minhyuk said for the first time in a while. “Even though we’re reading, it’s kind of fun I guess.”

“See, I knew you’d like it!" 

“No, it’s not the book. The book kinda sucks.” Kiki’s face slightly fell, but she had to agree. “Your presence is nice. It’s calming. We could be doing anything and I think I’d still like it,” Minhyuk mumbled. Kiki noticed his cheeks flushing and his head was turned away. 

Minhyuk finally met Kiki’s eye, “Cuz it’s you.”

Cuddle

Kiki was lonely. Cuddle-horny as she called it. Desperate for some attention, she relayed this feeling to her group chat, though they responded predictably.

GO AWAY KIEr

YOU'VE HAD MORE BOYFRIENDS THAN I WILL IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

awww kiki if I could id comfort youuuuu

S I N G L E C L U B

Sighing, her hand hovered over another contact, but Kiki quickly dismissed the idea. Hoon would be busy with his work. She couldn’t trouble him just because she wanted a good hug. Letting out a long sigh, Kiki threw herself against her bed.

Ten minutes went by, to the girl, ten long minutes of no human comfort. Damn French Guy. Her phone buzzed, a part of her thought it was the group chat, lamenting over their forever-single state but the name ‘Hoon’ was on the notification.

Want to come over? Got the afternoon off bc yoon got sick and now we can’t focus on learning the new song.

Kiki didn’t waste a second replying, throwing on a jacket, and booting it to Hoon’s house. She arrived soon enough and was greeted by an enthusiastic Haute. Kiki gladly gave him all the belly rubs, and Hoon soon appeared. He wore a loose white shirt with a random logo on it, and black sweatpants.

“Glad you could make it,” he walked closer to pick up Haute.

“Me too,” Kiki mumbled under her breath. “Got…any plans?”

Hoon scratched the back of his neck, “Ah not really. I was just thinking we could hang out, catch up. I’ve been busy, we haven’t seen each other in a while.”

Kiki grinned, “That’s perfectly fine.” She could use the conversation, the human contact. “Can we just sit on the couch or something?”

Hoon grabbed some drinks and Kiki sat on the couch, putting the TV to a random channel that they wouldn’t watch anyways. Hoon sat next to her.

“Is Yoon okay? What happened?” Kiki asked.

Hoon took a sip of his drink before answering. “He got laryngitis. We tried to go over the music, but he really wasn’t feeling well so he went home for the rest of the day. We got let off too because none of us could focus.”

“Is he resting here?”

“Nope, I meant home, home. He’s with his parents. They got pretty worried and asked if he could come home for a bit. I think they also didn’t want me to catch it too,” Hoon replied.

Kiki nodded, “That makes sense. It would be super unfortunate if you both got it.”

The two found themselves inching closer until Kiki was leaning into Hoon’s broad chest, and Hoon had nearly all of his limbs wrapped around her. Kiki found that they were breathing in sync and even though no words were said, it was still so engaging.

They conversed through contact, and a few hums here and there. Hoon was warm, and his hold on Kiki was tight. Kiki buried her face into the crook of his neck, feeling as if she could fall asleep. Haute came to join them, wedging into a space between their stomachs.

Cuddling with Hoon really felt nice, his limbs, while lanky, were perfect for wrapping around Kiki. He was considerate if something felt uncomfortable, and every so often they’d whisper about something, and he’d laugh. His laugh lit up his entire face, and his smile was permanently stuck. It was a quiet laugh, but somehow his entire body would jerk with every little sound.

Hoon felt the same way, because Kiki became really happy when they cuddled. She’d snuggle close and trace little patterns on the nearest available surface. In all of her beauty she seemed so at peace, and so graceful just in his arms like this. 

“Thank you.”  

@red-dyed-sarumane: A K IR E SENPAI! im sorry if this is sudden, but! i couldn't leave you out, and i definitely didn't live vicariously through your story and that ISNT the reason why it's the longest nope haahhaahhhaha. really, thank you for putting up with me and my rants or whatever, and letting me talk to you a ton! i'm glad i was also able to meet so many new utaites. ageyuki hell here i comeeee. you're so kind and explain lots of things in detail which i appreciate. i hope we're able to talk even more in the new year! thank you so much. 

If u don't understand some of the jap (tho u are vv smort so I bet u will) or if I made mistakes (bc I definitely did fuCK particles man) pls tell me. Also I used ur mom sorrrryyyyy. AGAIN I HAD NO IDEA WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS JUST RELISH IN THE FACT THAT U SAW MAFFU

Concert 

It was agreed upon the international Utaite fans that they suffered. Just barely grasping onto the blessed, but few, translators of their twitters, videos, and songs. Paying more for shipping than the actual product, and looking desperately into screens, unable to see their true face. Concerts were a dream, because going to Japan at the right time, and even buying a ticket would be difficult. Few people had the money, time, or permission to do it. Livestreams were almost never when they were awake, and even if they were, it’s not like there were subs to explain anything.

The salvation were the compilations the singers did of their concerts, with blurred out faces and some clips of them singing on stage as the audience held out their light sticks. Many tried to learn at least a little bit of Japanese, but they talked quite fast, and a few (*coughs* mafu) didn’t annunciate properly.

They were fighters really, being a fan for a long time, willing to burn holes through their pocket just to get an album, and loving the Utaites, even if they didn’t understand most of what was going on.

“You don’t know what they’re saying!”

“You’ve never seen their face!”

The fans heard those kinds of phrases far too often. It irked them, because music was so much more than the words, and pretty faces didn’t mean you couldn’t appreciate their abilities.

Akire was one such fan. She was smart, and worked hard to understand even a little bit of what the Utaite’s were saying. And, if there was anything worse than being a fan of an Utaite, it was being a fan of multiple Utaite. It was album after album being released, and live and live happening, and all the international fans could do was watch and wish.

It was one fateful day, when her mother, and told Akire the news.

“Well, it’s been a while since we’ve traveled, and I’ve been wanting to see the cherry blossoms in bloom for a while now!” she said through the phone. “So, we’re going to Japan! You like those Jpop guys, right?” Akire resisted the urge to correct her. “If there’s any concerts that are cheap, why not try to get tickets?”

Akire thought her heart would stop right there. They were going to Japan. She’d be surrounded by the culture of which so many things she treasured came from. Her mom would let her go to a concert. SHE COULD GO TO A CONCERT. Akire hastily opened Twitter and checked for any news of a concert over the spring break.

Yukimi and @gain were still relatively new and low key, so there was no word of a concert from them. Sou was working on an album, though no lives were being planned during the time. XYZ was having concerts, but they were just after Akire would be in Japan.

Akire would feel so unfulfilled if she didn’t go to a single Utaite concert when she had the opportunity. She scrolled mindlessly through Twitter, hoping that maybe someone would be hosting something she could attend.

A notification popped up. Akire clicked on it, half expecting the stupid ‘in case you missed it’ thing that Twitter did. It was from Mafumafu, and Akire didn’t even have to open the tweet fully to see the mass of exclamation marks.

It only took a quick skim to realize that Mafumafu was hosting a live. Akire quickly opened up the picture to check the dates. The 2nd of March, and the 7th, 12th, and 15th.

Fumbling to open her phone, Akire quickly texted her mother, When do we get to Japan?

Six painful minutes went by before her phone buzzed. She checked it the instant the screen lit up. Night of the 12th.

Akire checked the information again, she could make the last show! Crap, when did the tickets go on sale. She combed through the characters of Mafu’s tweet, trying to pick out the relevant ones, though there were still some she didn’t know. A quick Google Translate confirmed that tickets indeed went on sale at 8 o’clock a.m. Japan time. Which was, with the help of Google once again, in twelve minutes.  

Practically throwing her laptop across her room, Akire went to fetch her wallet which was left in a coat pocket. She sent a text explaining the tickets to her mom, and hopped she could read through the typos.

Dashing back upstairs, Akire clicked on the link provided. It took her to a website in complete Japanese. Akire just barely navigated through it, and occasionally had to look up various details, because business kanji was definitely not her forte. She was old enough to go alone (and she hopped her parents agreed with her because she was going to this live) and the tickets were at a mere 4500¥, which was around $40 US.

Praying to the Wifi Gods, Akire paid as fast as she could, she didn't even have time to check where the seats were, other information could be researched later. All that mattered was getting the tickets before they sold out or something.

And then Akire breathed, because she was going to see Mafumafu live.

~~~

In the previous month Akire had practiced Japanese much more intensely. Though the show would likely consist of mostly music, he would still MC a lot, and she wanted to understand as much as possible.

The venue wasn’t the biggest (it seemed they saved big venues for AtR concerts) but it still held around 2,000 seats and from what Akire could see, it was full. Her seat was relatively close to the stage, maybe six or so rows back.

Akire was excited; seeing Mafumafu live, she would see his face! The entire experience seemed surreal, and her appearance stood out a lot compared to the other fans. But her appearance didn’t matter when the lights went down and vibrant music started to play. Akire knew this song like the back of her hand, of course he’d sing すーぱーぬこになりたいfirst.

Some of the people had actually memorized his little spiel at the beginning, and said it to speed, which Akire found very impressive. Some artists sounded strange live, because their voice in a microphone was different compared to a studio, with mixing done. Though Mafumafu certainly couldn’t replicate any of the heavily engineered parts of his songs, somehow his voice sounded better live. It was clear, and there was raw emotion within his voice. The high notes were so much more intense, and just seeing the music come out of his mouth was amazing. 

He wore white cat ears, but simple black jeans and a loose sweater. After the song ended, Mafu quickly introduced himself, “はあいまふまふですー！じゃみんなさん！楽しみにして？” The crowd cheered in response. “みんなさんも歌ってよ！僕が嬉しいになって！”

ドラマツルギー began to play, and Mafu said something a little too fast for Akire to pick up. She got the feeling it was something about “wanting to sing this song, but never recorded it.”

The night felt like a blur, the light sticks that bounced in front of her, with the stage lights going crazy especially during 罰ゲーム and ゴーストルール. The show was only two hours, but it felt like a long, blissful eternity. The music that always remained through the screen, orin her ears was finally live. It was finally there.

Akire could see his face, his full face. Even with all the live-action videos, or the strange DVD’s he released, seeing him like this felt it was the definite proof that Mafumafu wasn’t just some singer on the internet. He was real, and he was talented. His voice shook the theatre, even when covering the softer songs on an acoustic guitar, like いかないで or 水彩銀河のクロニクル somehow his voice just enveloped the theatre.

It felt like a dream. Mafu bounced around the stage, and answered a few questions from Twitter. Akire could make out most of the details.

“What inspired you to start singing?”

“At the time, there were just so many talented people online. They were singing and people really liked them. Soraru-san and many others were uploading at the time, and I enjoyed music. I guess I wanted to be a part of that.”

“What time do you wake up in the morning?”

“Well it depends, sometimes it's a good time like 8:00, but sometimes it’s super early like 6:00 – I THINK 6:00 IS EARLY, YOU GUYS ARE WEIRD – or sometimes it’s late like 12:00.”

“Where do you live?”

“Within my dreams.”

“What do you think about love?” 

“This question is kind of deep…don’t you think? I mean, there’s familial love, and I love my family a lot. To think they’d support me having this kind of job, it’s really amazing. And I love my friends, Amatsuki-kun, and Soraru-san, and Luz-kun, Urata-san, and Sakatan too. They’re precious. Of course, I love you guys as well! There would be no Mafumafu without you guys. Thank you so much for being here, for liking my voice and music enough to see me live! Please continue to support me!”

A staff member off to the side laughed, and encouraged the audience to ask about romantic love. Akire joined in the chant of “恋！教えて！恋！” in which Mafu only replied with a finger over his lips and cuing the next song.

Mafumafu ran through a few more songs before announcing the next one would be the final one. The music to ねこがまるくなったcame on, and it was undoubtedly the most energetic performance of the night. Mafumafu starting and ending with a cat song, how classic. Akire sang along, knowing every word, maybe not hitting every note perfectly but still doing her best.

The confetti at the end showered the audience, and Akire found that she was smack in the center of its trajectory. Accepting that she’d be pulling pieces of paper out of her hair later on, she cheered as Mafumafu thanked everyone for coming, and exited the stage. Akire thought she was dreaming, that this was something her mind had made up because she so desperately wanted to see this singer in real life. Though, the free pin that she was given on the way out, signed by Mafumafu himself, seemed to solidify the experience.

She had seen Mafumafu live.

alllright~~ this motherload of a post is FINALLY done i should've worked on school projects during this time but fuck that who carES (i care) 

honestly, thank you guys so much! i cant believe that I was able to meet all of you, it's really been a ride. i hope you found the story/stories amusing!! i'm sorry for any typos, incorrect facts or anything seemingly out of character(?? u guys arent characters) but hopefully no hard feeling are taken. 

I hope next year will be even better!

with love,

L 

P.S. honestly fuck you guys i cant believe i actually wrote all of this

#thank you #love you #kpop #seventeen #jeonghan #seunghoon #winner #monsta x #minhyuk #day6 #jae #youngk #utaite #mafumafu #my writing #im so sorry #really thank you so much #mutuals #love post