#idk what the question means or how to answer them

[rongzhi]

How would you describe the concept of being gender fluid in mandarin? I've been avoiding coming out to my parents for a while bc I straight up don't know what I'd say - I don't know enough Chinese and idk if they'd be able to understand what I'm trying to communicate if I said it in English. They're both from the Hebei area if that helps at all, and they're not really conservative but they're also not at all caught up on modern terminology so,,, any help would be appreciated 😭

First of all, I want to say that I hope things go well and I’m rooting for you 💖

The term for gender fluid in Chinese, as I’m sure you know, is 流性人 liú xìng rén/流性别者 liú xìng bié zhě.

I’m honored that you think highly enough of my input that you asked, so I wanted to give an answer. However, I am not really a good person to ask about coming out to parents because I have not personally done so in any coherent manner myself, even though my parents aren’t conservative, either.

I can say that I think if I was to come out (hopefully I will one day—I just want to be financially stable first, altho... hmm...), I will probably explain it as best I can in English first and then later offer supplementary reading materials in Chinese. In my mind, the best course of action would be to just start off with the facts—say there is something important you want to share with them and that it would mean a lot if they could hear you out first (or however you talk to your parents normally to get them to sit and listen for a bit). “I am [genderfluid], this means I [whatever it means to you personally, as well as what it doesn’t mean/how you came to this realisation, etc].” I think if I was to explain genderfluidity to my parents, I would include what it might appear as in terms of personal outer appearance as well as how it affects your inner life. I would mention why it’s important/significant enough to your identity that you want them to recognise this is how you identify. I think emphasising the euphoric aspects/how being openly genderfluid would make you happy will be more beneficial to you, rather than try and immediately teach the terminology. My parents often say that they want me to be happy so I would try to explain how sharing that part of who I am would make me happy.

Your parents might understand what transgender identity is because it’s talked in the news a lot, so you could try approaching it from that direction, too. If they know of Guanyinshiyin, too, you could approach it from that direction or liken it to a feeling of nothing and all and either/or fluidity in that sense (if that’s a relevant definition). I think my parents would want to know what it means for them going forward as well, so that might be something to talk or establish in your initial explanation, too—pronouns, whether you hope to change your appearance once out to them, etc. I would probably also say something about how you understand what others might think about you but you don't care about that, again, going back to personal euphoria. I personally wouldn't expect them to understand anything right away, but I would communicate that the hope would be that they make an attempt, and that if they have questions at the moment or in the future, I would want to try to answer them.

I hope that helps at all. Maybe other diaspora with experience can offer further advice in the replies/reblogs.

Good luck! 💖💖

Something that might be helpful for later:

伴您同行：专为跨性别儿童的父母准备的指南 - This is a short guide geared towards parents of transgender/nonbinary children, covering questions of "why", "what", when", "what to do", "who to turn to", "where to go" (recommends Oogachaga, SAFE Singapore, The T Project, TransgenderSG, and Asia Pacific Transgender Network; I'm not personally familiar with all of these organisations, but the handbooks itself seems pretty helpful). It includes brief overviews of HRT, as well, if that's something you want to bring up at all.

#text #answered ask #gay ask #long post

[entroart]

Hi there, just a few things

Hi, I'm an artist, and I'm plural too :3. Or at least, I think I am? It's complicated. There's a lot of denial all the time.

You don't have to say anything that you don't want to of course, and answer in as much or as little detail as you'd like to.

So my questions are like.

1) How has being plural affected your art journey?

Im asking this because I have really bad executive dysfunction, and find it extremely hard to actually do what I want to do, meaning not much art practise, but I know that my other alters don't have it as badly.

2) How is your system communication? How did you make it better if its good.

Our communication is very.... poor. There's 3 definite alters, including me, and maybe a couple more, but I never hear about them so idk. Either way, even between just the three of us, I almost never hear anything from the other two. Apparently they have better communication between each other, but idk how true that is cus I can't really ask them.

3) Can you visualise things? I have aphantasia, and it makes me need a lot more references for when I am occasionally able to bring myself to draw. I'm interested to know how it works without that inhibition.

Thank you very much for reading, I love your art and wish all of you the best. <3

Question Barrage!! 1. Well to be fair is mostly everyone doing their thing. Bridget is trying to learn how to art to help me so thats nice (lemme show her progress)

Other alters also draw, for example Abyss that tends to do fruits

Or one of our littles Chain that did art yesterday

So each alter different art and stuff, I think thats how I can answer that question. 2. Our communication is alright, we can talk to each other easily and dont need to write for that, so in that regards fine 3. Yes, we can see a 3D image and rotate it (shit is frustrating cuz then not being able to properly draw makes me feel horrible)

#transgender #lgbtq #art #doodle #original art #disabled artist #plural system

[justallihere]

The way I was grinning ear to ear reading this chapter (EXCEPT FOR THE SOBBING PART HOW DARE YOU)

This chapter was very Violet (black cat gf) x Xaden(doberman bf) coded, sleepy cat gf being guarded by her scary dog boyfriend

X will shirk their duties for as long as he needs to, who cares if they have a country to run, his wife needs good food and sleep!!!!

 "Xaden loomed over her shoulder" I can tell I'm already going to love reading this bit OVER and OVER again

“You go or I go.”  “You fight dirty,” he murmured.  I already know this is going to be a repeat offense between V and X -- consequences of your actions indeed Xaden

Liam held her even tighter. “It’s my honor,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to her hair. “To be your friend. To be your guard. To know you. I would do it all over again, Vi.” 

absolutely sobbed when Liam started to cry bc Vi was crying 😭 (be ready to hear from my therapist). In this house, men cry and its healthy!!!!

Platonic squad naps/cuddling 😭 😭 😭 someone give Ridoc and Rhi an award bc I love them so much (sawyer too but he was w/ jesnia sooo)

THE HUG!! THE HUG!!!! and Xaden's hand always going to her hair

I swear Alli, if Xaden gets tortured... idk what I'd do. I'd probably eat it up bc Violet would literally rip ppl in half to get to her husband

Xaden feels so much more open with his emotions (smiling and laughing 😭) around violet and im here for it

“It’s an unlocking rune I'm so glad he tells her these things instead of leaving her in the dark like in canon (looking at you RY)

The potential and TENSION between Felix and Devera 👀👀👀

questions:

Why hasn't Mira slept 😭 also when/will we see Mira vs Brennan?

OMG WAIT - if the trade deal is off with Navarre... does that mean they have to make a deal with Teacurus??? Or does Mama Sorrengail come in clutch

Xaden literally does not CARE. Violet needs a nap so Violet gets a nap. End of story.

Their height difference makes his looming so much funnier because I imagine she maybe reaches his shoulder so he doesn’t even have to try to move or do anything out of the ordinary to glare at people over the top of her head. And Violet will absolutely be using his overprotectiveness to her advantage. Xaden needs to do something but won’t? Oh well she’s queen, she can just go! (Or not.)

The platonic nap!! I’ve had that scene in my head for so long 😭

It took 200k words but they HUGGED. Everyone clap. Also yeah Xaden takes every excuse he can get to touch Violet’s hair and she will have to call him out on that eventually.

Idk I can’t remember if Felix and Devera even so much as looked at each other in canon but I don’t care there’s potential. They would be so badass together.

Mira’s stressed as fuck and having a lot of emotions about life so sleep is evading her. Mira/Brennan showdown hopefully next chapter?? I promise you she’s not calm, she is vibrating with rage but holding it in for Violet’s sake.

Re: trade deals will be answered soon!!!

#storm in the quiet

[protect-namine]

they say go to a psychiatrist or get therapy but what they don't tell you is that it's very hard to advocate for yourself especially when the thing working against you is yourself and it takes a long time to start making any kind of progress until you and your therapist or psychiatrist are on the same page on what your actual issues are. and sometimes you really need someone who is skilled and patient enough to help you even get to a point where you can articulate your own problems

#mine musings #my psych was like well do you feel you need anything from me? and i was like uhhhh i got my [redacted] under control now so i guess... no? #and like. idk i think i'm just not a good patient lmao bc a lot of her questions i just answer idk because i really! don't know!! #idk what the question means or how to answer them #and like. my therapist is better at getting stuff out of me so she's great but she asked me to go to a psychiatrist to get diagnosed and #we just did not have the same uhh. rapport? is that the word? anyway whatever i just couldn't click with her #was it just not a good fit or was i supposed to Try Harder or maybe this really is it

[artemislosthunter]

also no more outing myself directly to my friends, you will find out about pronoun and name change through the wonders of instagram stories where you talk abt yourself /hj

#I mean ... I love my friends I really do. but they're cis and ... idk sometimes you can tell #like not transphobic (obviously otherwise they wouldnt be my friends) but just ... cis #never had any doubts about their gender identity. they feel perfectly fine in this little label and never had any doubts #and that is great for them!! Genuinely!! but I also know that none of my gender feelings will make sense to them #I have tried trust me. they are supportive but also ... just confused and lost #bringing the questioning up to them feels like they expect you to have an answer or to help you discover the answer with simple quetsions #that you yourself had asked yourself a thousand times with no clear answer and they somehow expect it to work this time #I know they mean well!! I love that they're trying but also ... it usually just ends up making me feel frustrated and them slightly frustra #frustrated bcs it feels like I am being uncooperative when all they are trying to do is help #so yeah idk how to bring it up #bcs Idk what I am #I just know I don't like being refered to as a girl #I am either indifferent by it as in 'not really but also not really NOT so I guess that works fine' or 'I mentally recoiled' #which is ... not really clear #I might be vaguely ''girl shaped'' on some days #and on some days I am not #but that does not really explain what I am does it #am I male? idk I feel like maybe sometimes I am vaguely ''male shaped'' more so than girl shaped atm I think #but in the end it's always something else entirely I think. it might briefly resemble it but never for long and never entirely #yes I have been debating if 15 y/o me had it all down when they said 'biromantic-asexual genderfluid' #bcs ... yeah I've come to notice ace was actually pretty correct I am definitely somewhere on that spectrum #I am ... very unhorny and genuinely came to realize I do not find people 'hot'. I find them aesthetically nice to look at and that's it #bi ... yeah I had a few phases of doubts but by now I really can't deny that anymore #so 15 y/o me MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN RIGHT ABT IT ALL #but I am not sure yet #and until I'm sure I'll ... just not say anything bcs I know it'll just end with confusion and awkwardness

[organized-chaotic-disaster]

.

#personal #ask to tag #I posted on a subreddit asking for opinions/input for something I’m thinking of doing soon #and the mods removed the post without clear explanation #when I messaged them asking why it was removed they were like #did you read our links? #and in fact I did #so they’re like #what would you do if xyz happened? #so I answer honestly #and now they go okay go back read the links and tell us why that plan would be awful #like???? #am I crazy or is this just. kinda wild?? #idk I feel like they’re being very patronizing to me 😅 #I’m genuinely asking a question and it feels like they’re telling me to go fuck myself basically #idk am I crazy?? is feeling disrespected a fair response bc that’s how I feel?? #me: communicates clearly what I’m thinking and asking #them: vague answer #also them: solve my riddle— wrong answer reread the things you’ve already read and tell me why you’re stupid and wrong #and like. I asked ‘was it bc of how what I said (x) could be interpreted as y? bc I didn’t mean y #I meant x #and they just. don’t answer #idk I’m kind of buggin tbh

[majorshatterandhare]

I’m thinking about how the Mechs use energy, because they do things and live and therefore they *must* use energy, that’s how physics (and biology) work.

I had the idea that they are always absolutely frigid to the touch because they suck in heat from the environment like an endothermic chemical reaction.

#the mechanisms #another crack idea #it would make the most sense for them to be able to run on multiple kinds of energy #and yes i know the actual answer is that they just do. its magic basically. but thats not fun for me. #what is fun is trying to figure this shit out #and if you disagree. thats fine. disregard my musings. but like. idk what to tell you. im autistic. #of course the way i enjoy the media is different than most people #i dont think its surprisjng that the way my autistic ass likes to interact with the mechs is to disect every little bit and try to fill- #holes in ways that make sense in our understanding of the universe and their world #like you could just say that in the universe that the mechs live in physics doesnt work the same and energy isnt needed #which is fucking insane #but you could. my question would then be how the physics does work and trying to figure that out. #i just wanna stick my fingies in the holes in the story like its a crochet blanket and make flex them around #thats whats fun for me. which means that its super frustrating when i pose these questions looking for people to play in thd space with me- #and they just get shut down with answer like ‘whatever serves the narrative’ or ‘the mechs are unreliable narrators’ or ‘jonny lies’ #tbc unreliable narrators can be very fun. but its not fun when it stops the possibilities or the conversation. #its not fun when ‘unreliable narrator’ is the end. #i think other people may enjoy the freedom of just doing anything that that gives them (or ‘whatever serves the narrative’ does) #but i dont because im a scientist which means i want to figure things out which means there must be a framework #if anything could happen at any time then you can’t make a cohesive story. #and i coukd argue we know thats not the case since ivy predicts stuff based on likelihood #anyway i managed to go down a rabbit hole tangent of why apes and roundworms hybridizing is the most ridiculous ‘scientific’ answer ive- #seen in scifi. so if you’re interested in that. hmu

[apathyfairy]

northern downpour by panic at the disco* is so good!

*panic at the disco refers to the pop punk band that was together from 2004 to 2015**, not the brendon urie solo project which lasted from 2015** to 2023

**2015 refers to the year spencer smith left the band leaving brendon urie as the only remaining original member

#i was going to make a post that said everyone hates panic until northern downpour comes on but then i was like ok wait. bc arguably no one #hate hates real panic. it just was what it was with the 4 of them and we were all here for it. #so then id have to specify that i mean early panic and not brendon variety hour so the question is #how do you even talk about panic and the answer is i guess you dont #even saying 2004 to 2015 is iffy bc like personally i consider vices to be the last panic album but i think too weird was pretty well liked #not by me but id say a lot of people? idk maybe not i have no idea but then death of a bachelor is absolutely a brendon solo album #in my head like dallon and spencer where. anyway worst band to talk about just awful #the way brendon ruined the whole patd legacy....

[ominouspositivity-or-else]

so much of a 21st century woman that i legitimately had to have a guy in my YA lit class explain to me how men's emotions work because i've only ever heard about it from idiotic women speaking for men or super macho guys who think any form of emotion is utter weakness for my entire life

#idk yall men are interesting #something about how they're way less nuanced than women #like girls expect the same level of emotional complexity with guys as is evident in us #which means like 45 different feelings all at the same time and playing into the stability of our psyches #meanwhile the guy might legit just be tired #such an interesting conversation and now i think i have to find music that accurately portrays what he told me about how men actually #like #feel emotions #this is so random i hate being a modern woman #like i love my right to vote and my ability to get high paying jobs and a stem degree if i had desired but like #women don't know how men work and it's a problem because we think they're like us and they're not and it's unfair for us to speak for them #but like we don't know what's real anymore either #blargh #thanks random guy in my upper level english class for your candor you answered a lot of my questions #there are many benefits to attending a catholic college

[emdotcom]

I changed my mind. Hater behavior is undeserved, when it comes to works, & idgaf about holding creators accountable when their games are mid, anymore.

#em.txt #now i only care about how you treat your workers tbh #so there are still series i hate. but now I don't want to be mean to people who put time & effort into making shit #this is about post shift 2. people were too fuckin mean to Rjac for a game he made for free #& as a bitch who loves that game a lot i see your criticisms i understand. but you're not gonna be mean to him abt this #that fucking teen that held that interview & told him he needed to be held accountable for his mistakes. god #he made this shit for free across four years. what can happen in four years? what did he work through? #to deliver you a free game. even if you don't fucking like the game if you invite a creator on to talk about their works #you don't fucking talk to them the way uyeah did. shit was cruel & uncalled for. #this game is fucking good but it's forever going to be burried as a game that's complicated with weird tutorials #ps2 is fun. you should try it. if you don't get it -- ask. I'll answer any question at any time #i will vc you i will write a text doc -- whatever you want. more people need to experience this fucking game #it's compelling in a way few games are to me. #i can homestly only compare it to rain world but not for a reason that's overt & easy to explain. more in how it feels to play #rather than what you do. #man. idk. i gotta learn how to talk about shit i love without being mean now #this started because i was talking mad shit to my friends & it asked me to stop because i was downtalking something she loved a lot #& i realized this isn't fun for people. i thought we were having fun but tbh? I'm just a mean negative bitch #& that's not fun. that's mean. #i have to redo this character arc from when i was 13 because i guess I didn't learn it the first time around #cynicism doesn't make you funny or cool. it makes you mean & unfun to be around. finding kind things to say is tougher. #if you can present your criticism nicely then maybe you can criticize too #but that alone does not a good critique make & it definitely don't make you fun at parties #listen. i am still gonna be a bitch. but i am going to be less of one.

[canichangemyblogname]

Do y’all know anyone who doesn’t actually know how to have a conversation, all they know is how to interrupt or derail a conversation? Like they keep talking over you to tell you their opinion on something (often unrelated), even though the conversation doesn’t call for an opinion. There was no, “What do y’all think,” but they still gotta interrupt, speak very loudly over you and tell you some very wrong opinion. Or you’ll be talking and then they just start up a different topic. And when you call them out on that the response is, “I’m not interested in that.”

#My mother fr #She called me up and ask me how work was last week #And as soon as I started talking about this really neat tour we got to take of a supportive housing facility #She interrupted the story to ask an innocuous question: ‘What is that?’ #But I didn’t get more than a few words into the explanation before she had an opinion about what I was saying #Her: ‘Oh. I think that’s quite useless.’ #Me: ‘Actually. It’s very useful and a very helpful housing program.’ #Her: ‘I don’t see why they can’t just rent any ol’ apartment.’ #Me: ‘This provides them disability services or addiction services or behavioral health help so they can keep a roof over their heads.’ #Her: ‘That seems like a little too much. I never got that kind of help.’ #I WISH YOU FUCKING HAD #And then I ignored her comment and tried to continue talking about my tour #ONLY FOR HER TO INTERRUPT TO TELL ME ABOUT THIS NEW BREWERY SHE DISCOVERED IN THE SUBURBS #She and my father hardly need more fucking alcohol #Oh my fuck. She drives me up a wall #And then she asked me if I know what ‘asexual’ means because my sister ‘refused’ to explain it to her #And I got only a few words into my answer before she INTERRUPTED ME just to be aphobic #Which is why I never told her that I thought I was on the aro/ace spectrum back when I identified as aromantic #She only seems to know how to push my buttons #IDK why I even try to converse with her

[chemicaljacketslut]

sorry to be a nuisance but you’re like the resident IT expert that I follow and Google is not giving me a straight answer. I gotta fucking ask, in the book did the losers just fucking bully pennywise to death like in the movie? Huge let down if so ngl

okay first of all this is NOT a nuisance to me every time someone asks me an It question i vibrate at an audible speed. thank you

the short answer is no but also yes kind of a little bit. don’t worry i WILL elucidate.

the way the Losers defeat pennywise in the book is, granted, really convoluted and difficult to adapt to screen. it’s basically an altered version of something called the ritual of chüd. in the universe of It, the ritual comes from a forgotten himalayan tradition where a holyman and their equivalent of pennywise, called the taelus, bite each other’s tongues and tell each other riddles/jokes until one of them laughs. if the taelus laughs first, it’s banished for 100 years, and if the holyman laughs, the taelus steals his soul. but all of this is like a super psychic crazy metaphysical battle, not a literal biting of tongues and joke-off. funnily enough, in the actual ritual the losers execute, the first one to laugh is the one who wins, both times.

so as kids, bill does this ritual of chüd with pennywise, but they just have this whole dramatic psychic conversation instead of telling jokes. essentially, bill calls upon the power of positive childhood belief to kill It, since negative belief and fear is what feeds It. so after some help from maturin the cosmic turtle who vomited up the universe, bill chants his tongue twister (“he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts”) and thinks this whole thing:

(Chüd, this Chüd, stand, be brave, be true, stand for your brother, your friends; believe, believe in all the things you have ever believed in […] that there is a Tooth Fairy who lives in a huge enamel castle, and Santa Claus below the North Pole, making toys with his trove of elves […] believe in yourself, believe in the heat of that desire)

He suddenly began to laugh in the darkness, not in hysteria but in utter delighted amazement.

“OH SHIT, I BELIEVE IN ALL OF THOSE THINGS!” he shouted, and it was true. […] He turned his face up, and suddenly he felt power rush through him.

and thus he psychically defeats pennywise. but it was like they’d won the battle but not the war, because as we know, It returned ~26 years later.

as adults, the Losers—minus stan (dead) and mike (hospitalized)—confront It again, and again bill begins the ritual. except when he tries to spiritually bite Its tongue, he misses. but richie comes in clutch and swoops in and bites It, and then he starts kind of joking to himself and laughing and doing his Voices (impressions) at It, which hurts It a lot. he manages to find bill in this psychic realm and he saves him. but that means It is shaking them loose. so as bill and richie are returning to reality, eddie jumps in and, while he doesn’t really engage in chüd, he does hurt It.

[Eddie] leaped at It, triggering the aspirator at the same time, and for an instant all his childhood belief in the medicine came back to him […] It was good medicine, strong medicine, and […] he triggered the aspirator into one of Its ruby eyes.

He felt-heard Its scream—no rage this time, only pain, a horrid screaming agony.

and then, well. It fatally tears his arm off. eddie’s death gives bill and richie the motivation to push through and kill It. bill has georgie to fight for, richie has eddie. actually though richie ends up having more focus/motivation, because It distracts bill with his wife, who is being held captive.

“That’s Audra!” Bill shouted desperately. “Thuh-That’s AUDRA!”

“I don’t give a shit if it’s the Pope,” Richie said grimly. “Eddie’s dead and we’re going to kill It, if It’s still alive. We’re going to finish the job this time, Big Bill. Either she’s alive or she’s not. Now come on!”

ben destroys the eggs It laid (pennywise’s truest form that humans can see is a female spider that was pregnant, it’s a whole other thing) by just. physically stomping on them. and bill and richie go up and simultaneously psychically punch it and then they just. start beating the shit out of it and tearing it apart (psychically? physically? both i think) until bill rips Its heart out and crushes it. and finally It is dead.

so like, i didn’t include the quotes here but all of the Losers who speak to It during these battles do scream some form of “fuck you” at It and richie especially bullies It a little bit, and this does definitely hurt it at some points (especially with richie’s whole battle), but that’s not really what defeats It.

tl;dr, the power of love and friendship is basically what killed pennywise in the book, which is kind of what the whole book is all about.

#the movie version of them bullying pennywise to death is like. really fucking funny to me though #as the It musical pennywise so eloquently put it: NOO IM GOING TO DIE BECAUSE YOURE CONFIDENTTT!!! #hope you enjoyed this way-too-in-depth answer #this is what happens when im asked an It question i Will go so in depth and have So much fun doing it #also btw i am not meaning to sound condescending by overexplaining i just don’t know how much u and other people know. yk #like idk the movies never call richie’s impressions Voices with a capital V so. you know how it is seventeen layers of autism #asks #it stephen king

[arsonist-chicken]

Alright sorry can I just---

Alright thanks.

#don't mind me i'm just venting #i miss my friends so much i want to cry but none have time for me this weekend when i have to go home #which means i'll be at my parents' even more which means even more time for them to question whatever i do and for me to try to weasle #my way out of answering because once again i haven't done a whole bunch of stuff i should have done long ago #and i havent done anything all day today again and i dont get how people jist sit down and just do stuff #do you not have to fight tooth and nail to get yourself to do something even if you'd enjoy it? how. please i want to cry again #i am overwhelmed with uni stuff and unemployment stuff and lonely from missing my friends #hehe. lonely. i saw lonely spring with a friend last week that was great 🥺 almost a whole day with a friend plus concert? please take me #back there 🥺 #anyway i'm overhelmed and lonely and i miss my friends and my cats and i'm angry at our politicians for not giving a shit about the people #so. arson. or very carefully worded but angry emails. #also i'm craving. something. to eat but idk what. i'm not even hungry. #ah yes me ft. disordered eating habits approaching again aren't they #okay i'm done venting i'll sit down and see if another try will get my brain to work this time. send help if you have advice #mine #upset vent noises

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

real

#this is so mind numbingly exhausting i don't understand how everyone else seems to just do it? #it was such a weird day #started out in a good mood but then boss scolded these two interns cause of a mistake #and like he wasn't shouting exactly but he raised his voice and said so many things like you are so careless im suffering so many losses bc #bc of you outsiders are going to think i don't have a good team and i don't have control over my team #and how we should always note things down because we're so distracted and not serious #and how before going home everyday we should report to him what work we did today #i understand that he's being reasonable (maybe? idk) but it sounded so eerily horribly like my dad i couldn't function properly for an hour #why are men so similar everywhere #why am i SO scared i could feel the disappointment radiating off him and he wasn't even mad at me and i felt like a failure #which is so embarrassing like girl stop you are a 20 year old adult woman you will not cry at your workplace because an angry man triggered #your dad issues #and upar se there was a new intern at work one year younger than me and oh my god he was so annoying #like i talked to him first bc i pitied him like what if he felt alone it was only his second day but boy literally could not stop talking😭 #like ok it's kinda cool that this senior di she trusted me enough to be like you teach him this project report this when ive only been #here for 3 weeks but bhai😭 he's so annoying 😭 i have newfound respect for the di how does she handle all 7-8 of us interns i would go #crazy and shout at everyone and tell them to leave me alone 😭 but she's so patient and kind and answers dumb questions 100 times #but she's leaving this office permanently from next month bc of her ca final :( i mean very good for her she deserves better more money #better work hours better office etc. but :(( she's leaving :(( #as you can see i have both dad issues and abandonment issues so fun lol

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

If you already got this from someone and you just haven't answered yet pls ignore, but if no one else asked i want to add klinger+charles for the relationship bingo ask meme

ok I’m getting to this late as FUCK but PLEASE nobody ever hesitate to send me something for an ask game if I get one ask on a topic I will go YIPPEE and if I get 20 asks on the same topic I will go YIIIIIPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Anyhow you're indeed the only one around here who shows outside interest in our rarepair insanity, a boon I will remember as long as I live btw. Mx. Smoking Marlene Dietrich I owe you the WORLD

TRIPLE BINGO because they are EVERYTHING. to me.

It’s funny. This is the one duo where I almost do just want to post the bingo and leave it at that. Part of me wants to tell people about this ship SO bad, to give novel-length explanations and justifications and theses. But the other part of me is like you know what. You either Get It or you don’t.

Anyways there are 10000 things to say about Them but one is: I specifically did not fill in “gay af to have a sworn rival” even though it cost me another bingo because one of the most fascinating things about the interactions between these two is that they actually do not have a mutually adversarial relationship--even though that’s what writers usually do with two characters on diametrically opposite ends of the socioeconomic spectrum. 

I’ve been thinking about this a bit because I’ve seen people say things like, “It’s great what a funny duo they turned into when they started out hating each other, haha.” And I get why one would think like this but IMO it’s actually not the case! Charles acts more familiar with Max over time because he does that with everyone--

(Though he’s racist towards Max throughout, of course. Because Charles’ racism never goes away. You know that right. MASH fandom I am putting my hands on your shoulders and asking: You know that, right? I keep seeing people talk about Charles having a character arc and a redemption arc so I’m just. I’m just making sure.)

--but Max has actually been pretty nice to him right from the start, back when Charles’ relationship with basically every character was antagonistic. As soon as s6e13 he tells Charles how similar they are, how they should work together to try and get away from the war, how they’re “soulmates”. Even after Charles insults him, he straight up says, “I’m on your side, Major”, which I’m pretty sure remains one of the nicest things someone canonically says to Charles, ever. Just one scene, but emblematic of a greater whole, of quite a few future scenes where Max gamely engages with Charles even when it puts him in unpleasant situations.

And of course, the motivation the show usually gives, on those occasions when it thinks about Maxwell’s motivations at all, is a simple throwaway “Well Charles is paying him / giving him some other material benefit, so obviously Klinger will be his kicked dog! You all know how Middle Eastern people are! We are a groundbreakingly progressive show btw.”

But man. Fuck that shit. This is far afield of my original point but the thing is, Max’s interactions with Charles are often the most egregious exempla of every way the later seasons fucked over my girl here. It almost seems useless to try to analyze any of Max’s actions after a certain point from a Watsonian perspective, when the Doylist reading of the show being too racist and stupid to do anything coherent with him is the ultimate explanation, and sometimes the only explanation you can even come up with, because shit just makes NO fucking sense in-universe. 

But unfortunately I’m a stupid cringe ass fanfic writer/reader, and I love this character, and Max already gets so little screentime compared to the main protagonists, and I don’t want to just ignore him because of the decisions of writers who didn’t care about him.

(That’s the entire reason I started shipping this stupid thing in the first place, btw. I just wanted to read some fanfic where Max is the main character and idk if you’ve noticed but if it weren’t for AO3 user stateofintegrity and their ~problematic cringe ship~, the pickings would be pretty fucking slim.)

So I like to pretend there’s a better reason for Maxwell going from “Major Burns I hate you so fucking much I am going to kill us both with this fucking grenade” to the equivalent of a tumblr blog responding to pathetic anon hate with “are we about to have sex”. After all, if you’re going to write Maxwell yourself, get inside his head and all, then you also have to account for why he tolerates all the OTHER characters’ racism towards him in later seasons, too. 

And the messy problematic reasoning I come up with is that Max is at heart the kindest and also most emotionally intelligent character on the show, and even the liberalized version of the 1950s our story is set in is a systemically bigoted universe that is all he’s ever known and experienced, and he’s certain these are good people, really, when it matters. And being emotionally intelligent, and generally intelligent too for that fucking matter, and observant and insightful, he can tell there’s a big difference between Frank and Charles, and perhaps less of a difference, even, between Charles and Hawkeye. Maybe when you watch things from Hawkeye’s POV, the ideological and moral differences between him and Charles are huge, but maybe if you were in Max’s POV instead there wouldn’t be quite as much of a distinction between them. I don’t know! I don’t know. Just some ideas, I don’t know. 

Of course getting into fucking. internalized racism and such is pretty uncomfy and exhausting shit. And that’s not even touching all the gender stuff my girl has going on. You start to see why nobody wants to get into this character’s head much. But I do :3 And I do honestly think sometimes the most effective way to do that is to look at the Messiest Ship In All Of MASH (TM). As I’ve talked about before from the Charles angle, I love this ship precisely because of its Problems, because they’re problems that exist anyways for both characters, and having the two of them interact makes the problems impossible to ignore, so they maybe finally get to be dealt with. I mean, I just don’t think the optimal resolution to Charles and Max’s racism-laden interactions is that Charles goes back home to a big opulent house and Max struggles to save up to buy a used car in After M*A*S*H. That is not super satisfying. to me. 

This post got derailed to hell but I think what I was trying to say is that Max treats Charles SO much better than that bastard man deserves and I would at least like to see something come of it, for the love of--

#HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE I lost so much sleep to write this and for what. truly for what. #to hopefully not get hashtag canceled for it on the off chance someone reads it I guess ghdsjgkhdsklkhk anyways #I meant to say I actually usually hate when Rich Character and Poor Character are portrayed in a Rivalry Of Equals type scenario cause like #nooooo actually that's not how life works. power differential means something. this is no a fair fight. #Starky loves answering questions #marley-manson #putting my organizational tags early this time cause apparently if you put them too late they don't show up on your own blog tag searches?? #I couldn't find my unpopular opinion Charles manifesto ;;;_;;; thankfully I'd linked it before smh #did any of this make ANY sense like just out of curiosity. clap if it made sense. #mash #charmax #idk man I just can't separate the fact #that Charles being racist to Klinger is contemporaneous with #1) the other characters not really giving a shit about Charles' racism #and 2) the other characters also being racist to Klinger themselves #albeit less frequently depending on the season #I've said it before and I'll say it again #everything people hate about this ship should be things they hate about much more than JUST this ship #the concept of shipping these two together just makes you suddenly step back and take notice of all the latent garbage #and that's part of why I like it. because it makes you take notice. #the other part of why I like it is that Max deserves a sugar daddy who will buy him anything he wants forever #also this isn't the direction I ended up going with the post #but my favorite thing about the total imbalance in how they see each other #is that Max makes Charles soooo angry all the time #and Charles barely registers as an annoyance to Max most of the time #it's like when a cat has decided one of your appendages is an enemy to be attacked #and you're just sitting there like haha playtime with my silly kitty :3 #K if you're reading this btw you know I don't think your stuff is cringe or problematic #that was for the Outsiders the Uninitiated the Ignorant #you understand how it is. I am giving you 1000000 kisses now also.

[snekdood]

Idk why i expect charitability from ppl who probably listen to whatever their staple favorite left-leaning video essayists says about the Other Leftists they dont like and takes it to heart and doesnt form their own opinion with the information provided (or the information specifically and intentionally left out to make the person look the worst that they can) just kinda does whatever that persons says because Its Probably Correct

I mean, theyre "on the left" and uses all the words you like, nevermind what their intentions or long terms goals are or how thatd reasonably be practiced irl or if it'd actually hurt the general cause of progressives and make things even more divisive and worse bc they value being petty more than actually having any values.

#yall be like 'i better go watch this black person who believes in racial separatism and take everything they say to heart and not form my #own opinion because the Correct Thing To Do is to let every minority im not say shit that would only help nazis in the long run Because Im #Not That Minority So Clearly I Have No Stake In This'. like idk. its one thing to pretend you understand every thing about a certain #minorities experience that you dont have. its a whole other thing to actually challenge people on their beliefs. and if the person you #are challenging cant give you a good enough answer or dodges or gets MAD at you for even asking - you should probably avoid them or at the #very least not just believe every fucking thing they say and never come to your own conclusions on shit. #people are supposed to have the critical thinking ability to have their beliefs challenged and give you an actual answer #theyre supposed to want you to understand. theyre supposed ro be able to explain it to people who dont understand #and arent in the same spaces enough to understand. if you cant explain to me why racial separatism is somehow Ideal then why should #i listen to you. just to do whatever you say no questions asked or else im bad and very problematic? #like how am i supposed to take this kinda person seriously when they go around calling shark3ozero the c word and other #racist shit. like you're not serious lol. you have no issue just acting like the people who disagree with you on something are just purely #bigots. #when the people you attack are far more on your side than the fucking republicans who yall barely even mention. which is interesting. #anyways if you believe in dividing everyone by race understand that thats LITERALLY what white supremacists want. that is Not the ideal #world for me. idk about you. and if you understand this and still follow me gtfo of here #you're a dipshit and prolly an accelerationist and i dont have time for your bullshit and likely nihilism. #you're gonna end up killing yourself thinking the world is only ever against you and everyone who disagrees w you is a bigot. #and i dont mean necessarily actually putting up a noose i just mean you're gonna isolate yourself SO MUCH from other ppl and stay only in #your one little space. that if you ever lose that space for whatever reason you'll be left alone w no help. #or you'll isolate yourself so much and stay inside forever and be hella paranoid in grocery stores thinkin everyone there Wants To Kill You #and im not gonna act like ik whats in the mind of someone who believes in racial separatism. that was more of an example. but i can try #to understand and i can tell that someone has to go through a lot of bs to think thats the only solution. im not trying to downplay why ppl #might think thats the best option. but really its the same shit w terfs and cis men and it kinda seems like its a solution born from trauma #with convoluted justifications for why its Fine actually #thats how it looks from my angle rn. if thats not the case and you feel like its different im always willing to hear different angles on #stuff. im never married to my positions as im not exactly a static person who never changes. #id say thats quite the opposite of my Whole Thing