#if i were titling these parts this would be Eddie's No Good‚ Very Bad‚ Terrible‚ Horrible Day

[strangersteddierthings]

Porcelain Steve - Part 7

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six🦇Part Seven🦇Part Eight🦇Part Nine

((TW for this part; period typical slurs and internalized homophobia. Read the tags before clicking readmore if you want the details))

Steve has been a porcelain doll for seven weeks when disaster strikes.

"What is that," Jeff says, because even though the words are in an order which would suggest that it's a question, the tone of voice Jeff uses decidedly is not questioning.

"What is whaaa-AH! Nothing! It's nothing!" Eddie, who was torso deep into his closet throwing things around to find his backup amp cord, turns to look at what Jeff was talking about, and is now launching himself across his room to stand between Jeff and Porcelain Steve. Porcelain Steve, who Eddie had lain on his bed, propped slightly on a pillow, headphones carefully perched on his little head, hooked to a cassette player currently playing the first hour of last week's Top 40 countdown that Eddie had taped for him (all three hours of it, leaving out the chatter of the radio show host. He'd had to use two tapes to get it all).

"Nothing sure looks a lot like a doll in headphones, Munson," Jeff has an amazing poker face but Eddie's certain he can see a bit of judgement underneath the carefully blank expression Jeff is wearing.

"I don't know what you're talking abo- hey! Hey, no, no, don't!" Eddie tries to bodily block Jeff when he moves forward and the two end up wrestling, a match that Eddie almost wins, if not for the hazard that is his messy room. He gets Jeff walked almost to the door before he steps wrong on something, ankle rolling and sending him down sideways. He clutches at Jeff but can't make purchase and Jeff, the bastard, does fuck-all to try and catch him. Instead, Jeff leaps out of arm's length, then lunges onto the bed as Eddie collapses to his floor.

Eddie frantically tries to stand and, in his haste, ends up with his feet tangled in a pile of dirty laundry and that sends him crashing down again, this time forward onto his hands and knees, so he gives up on standing and crawls the few short feet to the bed, finally looking up to see that the damage has been done.

Jeff has picked up Steve, holding him inches from his own face, eyes squinted in suspicion. Eddie is frozen, horrified and afraid, and can't bring himself to do anything as Jeff examines Steve closely, turning him around, poking his torso, flipping him upside down to examine his shoes more thoroughly. It's only when Jeff reached for the shirt, pinching the hem of it between two fingers that Eddie kicks back into action.

He lunges up, one knee on the bed, leaning over to grab Steve and yank him from Jeff's grip. His first instinct is to throw Steve over his shoulder, out of sight out of mind mentality, but as soon as he does, he realizes his mistake and twists, lunging to catch Steve in midair. He does manage to catch Steve, but it sends him bouncing off his dresser and almost back to the floor before he manager to regain his balance, where he proceeds to cradle Steve to his chest, which is heaving from the adrenaline, wrestling match, and subsequent dive after Steve.

Jeff is giving him a concerned look but something else piques his interest; Jeff reaches over and picks up the headphones, holding them up to one ear. His face goes through every emotion a human could possibly experience in less than fifteen seconds as he listens to whatever track was at the forty-ish minute mark on the Top 40 countdown.

Slowly, Jeff lowers the headphones, letting them drop to the bed before he gives Eddie a new, more judgmental, yet infinitely more concerned, look. "Eddie. What. The fuck."

Honestly, he's not sure there's anything he can say in response.

"Why- I don't... are you okay, man?" Jeff sounds both scared for Eddie, and scared of him, at the same time.

"I'm fine," Eddie manages to squeak out.

"Eddie," Jeff says seriously, "this is not fine. This is- this is insane behavior. You know that, right?"

"I've no idea what you mean," Eddie doesn't even know what he's defending himself from but his default response to anything is to defend himself. He grips Steve tightly around the torso with one hand and then moves both his hands to be behind his back so Jeff will stop staring at Steve.

"I mean this fuckin' insane shrine you have dedicated to Steve fucking Harrington. How did you even get a doll that looks like him. Did you- did you make that?"

Fuck. Holy fuck. What can he say to defend himself here? Is there a single way for him to come out of this not sounding deranged? If he agrees, let's Jeff's drawn conclusion be the truth, then that's all but confirmation to Steve about his big fat crush, so when Steve's back to being Steve he'll never look at Eddie again. Jeff might think he needs mental help, but he'll be here for Eddie. If he tries to deny the accusation, then he'll need an explanation. He'll have to tell Jeff something that make him seem less like a creepy stalker, but what? He can't tell the truth, not without letting everyone know he's going to tell Jeff. There's a whole other secret he'd have to let out to even have a chance of Jeff believing him.

Jeff must take his silence for acceptance or guilt, because he's speaking again. "I.... man, this is not healthy. Please tell me you aren't, like, hoarding a lock of his hair or his clothes or something."

Involuntarily, damningly, his eyes dart to the closet, where several of Steve's sweaters hang from when he'd borrowed them and never returned them. And it's not like Steve doesn't have several of Eddie's own articles of clothing, like his battle vest and a few shirts. But Jeff doesn't know they easily, willingly, swap clothes, so his eyes go wide and dart towards the closet, as if he can pick out which pieces belong to Steve on sight.

Actually, he probably can.

"This really isn't what it looks like," Eddie says because he has to say something. Being silent is too incriminating.

"I don't think you're aware of what this looks like," Jeff says, wiggling himself off of Eddie's bed to stand at the foot of it. "Of all the boys in Hawkins.... I knew you liked Steve but this is.... creepy. That doll looks so much like him that I recognized it. Does Steve know you're in love with him, or is this like a way to process your crush without having to-"

"Jeff!" Eddie yells, mortified. He can feel his whole face heat up, knows he must be bright red. Because Jeff just said, out loud and for Steve to hear, the thing that Eddie very much hasn't even said out loud to himself, even if he knows how he feels deep down.

Jeff must know he's overstepped some invisible boundary he wasn't even aware of because his face immediately shows regret. He takes a step forward and Eddie takes a step back.

Immediately, Jeff stops his forward momentum. "Shit, I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm sorry."

When Eddie answers, his voice sounds like he's been eating gravel, "Just, can you go wait in the living room? I'll be right out, and we can talk, or whatever, but can you just..."

A nod, and then Jeff is gone, closing the door behind him.

With shaking hands, Eddie brings Steve back to the front of him. Looks down at him. He's not even aware he's crying until he watches his tears mark Steve's tiny polo. He can't keep holding Steve. Can't keep looking at him. Not when- not when his best friend just outed him in the worst way possible. And Eddie can't even be upset or hurt about it because Jeff didn't know. He's teased Eddie about his crushes before, and in the safety of his own room, there was no reason for Jeff to have to watch what he was saying.

Even knowing that Steve is okay with Robin, loves her anyway, without the ability to confirm that Steve doesn't hate him right now, Eddie's going to freak out. But he can't. Jeff is waiting in the living room, and the band is waiting back at Gareth's. This was just- they were supposed to just grab the amp cable and get back, a fifteen-minute job at most, and now.

Now Eddie is staring down at Steve, willing himself to not have a panic attack.

"I'm sorry, Steve. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have heard it like that, it s-should have come from me. It should- you-I'm sorry," Eddie gently underhand throws Steve onto the center of the bed. He lands face up and Eddie sinks to the floor because he can't stand anymore, and he can't really breath.

Steve knows Eddie's a fucking faggot now, and that he wants Steve, and there's no way he'll get to keep the friendship they had before this. There's no universe in which Steve isn't creeped out by this information. There has never been an instance where a straight boy found out about his crush on them and didn't abandon him. Not always cruelly, he'll admit. He's had friends that learned and just... slid from his life with no words and no fuss. Eddie just never spoke to them again because they never came back around, but they also never outed him.

That's what will happen with him and Steve. He'll quit inviting Eddie around, or calling when he's bored, and eventually it will get to the point that Eddie only sees him at BBQ's that Joyce drags him to.

Fuck. FUCK!

He's not sure how long he's on the floor but eventually, he finds the will to get back up and resume digging through his closet to find the amp cord. It doesn't take long, he was ridiculously close to finding it earlier, it seems.

Before leaving his room, he picks back up the cassette player and headphones. Silence comes from them, so he pops the tape out before flipping it to the B side and popping it back in. He puts the headphones around Steve's head again and presses play, doing his best to not actually look at Steve. He'll just have another breakdown if he does.

He trudges out of his room, closing the door behind himself before taking the short walk to the living room, where Jeff waiting on the couch, elbows on his knees, fingers steepled under his chin, eyes faraway as he stares towards the wall in front of him.

"Hey," Eddie says, to get his attention.

"Hey," Jeff says, sitting up straight and turning towards Eddie. "I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? I'm the fucking psycho here," he sighs, leaning sideways against the kitchen counter, arms folded across his chest, hand clutching at the amp cord just for something to ground him.

"Forget that, whatever I did, or said, or whatever, you were- when you yelled my name. You looked terrified. Of me," Jeff almost whispers the last sentence, and if not for the stark silence in the trailer, Eddie wouldn't have heard.

"Not of you, Jeff," Eddie whispers back, but his voice doesn't stay quiet because 'quiet' isn't a thing Eddie does easily or often. "Of... of myself, and these- of how I feel- I'm a goddamned faggot and now that Ste- when Steve finds out I'll lose him! Like I've lost every fucking person who ever even suspected I was a fuckin' queer!"

Silence stretches between them, enough to make Eddie fidget, dropping his crossed arms to twist the amp cord about anxiously with both his hands.

"Look, man, I don't know what's, like, the appropriate thing to say so I'm just going for the honest thing. You got me. You'll never lose me. And all those other assholes that you think you lost? You're wrong. They lost you. And if Steve Harrington is gonna be another one of those, then you aren't losing him. 'Cause he was never really in your corner to begin with."

If this were anyone else, with the exception of his uncle, he would be able to hold it together better. But it's Jeff. His best friend. Who never believed Eddie committed unspeakable horrors over Spring Break last year. Who didn't question the strange, new friends he suddenly had afterwards; who accepted as the only explanation a softly spoken 'they saved me' and that was enough. Who had said 'ok, cool' in response to Eddie telling him he was gay, years ago now, and continued trying to find out if Eddie had a secret relationship, switching girlfriend for boyfriend like it wasn't a big deal (Eddie did not have a secret relationship; his good mood that week was the result of snooping for his birthday present and finding the guitar hidden under his uncle bed).

It's Jeff. So, Eddie does the most metal, manly thing he can and bursts into tears, blindly reaching for Jeff and pulling him off the couch so he can bear hug him and sob into his shirt.

"There, there, you big baby," Jeff rubs his back soothingly, "let it out. Then pull your sorry ass together, because Gareth and Brian are going to think we died in a car crash on the way here if we take much longer."

"Ah, fuck," Eddie manager to say around the sniffling he's trying to get control of, "you're right."

"You good, though?"

"Uh, I will be."

Jeff nods and steps back. "How about this. We go to practice, and then you can come to my place tonight and we can like, hangout and talk. If that's what you want."

He's already nodding as he says, "yeah. That would be good. I- uh, I have something to do after practice, but yeah, after that I'll come over."

Eddie tosses the amp cable to Jeff after they climb into the van and head off.

Halfway there, Jeff says, "you know Gareth and Brian are in your corner, too. If you ever feel like telling them one day."

"One day," Eddie agrees, "but today has already been... a lot."

Practice goes well, with some ribbing for their tardiness allowed. If Gareth and Brian notice Eddie's been crying recently, they keep it to themselves. Which is good, because Eddie cannot handle one more thing today.

A promise to meet up with Jeff later and Eddie's back home.

Back to where he left Steve, who will be laying in silence on his bed because it's been well over two hours since he and Jeff left, and the tape only held an hours' worth of music on each side. Back to the nightmare of not knowing if Steve hates him now, or if Eddie's, and this is the most likely scenario, being a bit overdramatic.

His uncle is home, so he greets him, asks after his day, gets told dinner is Fend For Yourself Night (which just means leftovers or a TV dinner), and gets asked about Steve. Because of course he does.

"You sure he went on a vacation willingly with those parents of his, and he ain't actually kidnapped and trapped somewhere?"

That's a little bit too true. If only Wayne knew. "Well, no. I'm not sure. All I know is what he said when he left."

Wayne gives him a look. One Eddie is used to seeing, that says 'I know more than you think but I'm waiting for you to tell me' and Eddie's a little afraid of what Wayne thinks he knows. So, instead of prying that box open, Eddie just says he's tired and goes to his room.

Steve is exactly where Eddie left him.

Suddenly, without reason or logic, Eddie is angry. He's so pissed at Steve for being gone for this long. For having transformed in the first place. For not being able to assure him they'll still be friends, regardless of Eddie's stupid crush.

He snatches Steve off the bed, hand clamping around one of Steve's arms and his torso so he can hold him up with one hand. Steve's face, permanently stuck into a blank expression, looks back. Even knowing that Steve sees and hears through this thing, Eddie's so angry at the doll. If Steve hadn't been turned into this stupid thing, if Eddie wasn't so helplessly in love with him, this wouldn't have happened. Eddie could have taken his own time telling Steve, instead of hearing his deepest secret spilled easily from Jeff's lips. Instead of this not knowing what Steve is thinking, or how he feels. Is he recoiling in disgust at the fact Eddie's making him look at his face? Or is Eddie being awarded the same kindness as Robin, a quiet acceptance that won't change their friendship?

Eddie doesn't know that answer and he hates it.

He's so angry with himself because he should know better. He's forcing his own insecurities onto Steve, about acceptance and caring, when nothing Steve's done since they've become friends is prove that he'll always be Eddie's friend and not even the apocalypse could change that.

"I'm going to hang out with Jeff, so you're gonna be alone a bit longer. Or maybe I should drop you off at Robin's when I go," Eddie goes to toss Steve back on the bed when something pinches his palm. It's a startling sharp pain, quick to fade, but it's surprising enough for Eddie to let go.

Eddie watches, horrified, as he falls to the floor. He twists in the air, landing with a dull thump and cracking sound on his left arm before falling onto his back.

"Shit. Shit! Fuck, Steve, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to," Eddie is crouched, already in the process of reaching for Steve when he freezes.

There is a crack on Steve's left arm, a line that starts above his elbow on the inside of his arm and runs down and across his arm to his hand, where Steve's pinky finger is gone. Looking slightly to the side, Eddie can see the small porcelain piece that Steve is missing laying on the ground next to him. Eddie's own hand is hovering in the air above Steve, shaking.

This can't be- how did- Eddie wracks his brain. Was the crack there already? Did Eddie cause the crack when he bounced off his dresser earlier? When did it happen? Does that fucking matter when it's Eddie who broke a piece off him? If Steve didn't hate him before, he's got to now. Eddie doesn't have time to panic about this, he's got to- El. El can talk to Steve. Find out if he's okay. What if breaking him-

Eddie launches himself up and to his dresser, grabbing at the Walkie up there. He pulls the antenna up, clicks it on and tries not to actually shout as he says, "Code Red! Code fucking Red!" He lets off the talk button, counts to seven in his head, enough time, he reasons, for someone to respond before he repeats the process. "Code Red!! Code Red!"

He repeats this process for three minutes with no response. Where the fuck is everyone!? How is he supposed to- Oh! The phone!

He tears down the hall and to the phone. He must look a right state, because Wayne looks very concerned and is halfway to standing up when Eddie gets to the phone beside him. He yanks the phone up and dials the number for the Byers-Hopper household, holding up a shaking finger to Wayne, a silent plea to give him a moment.

It rings and rings and rings before the answering machine kicks in. Eddie presses down on the disconnect button before dialing the Wheelers' number next.

"Hello?"

"Mike! Code Red! Where the fuck is everyone and why aren't they answering!?"

"What?"

"Code Red! Where's Nancy. Put Nancy on."

"Dude, slow down, what's-"

"I broke St-it. I broke it and someone needs to get El here now. Code Red does not mean ask questions, Mike! It means Code. Fucking. Red."

"Shit, shit, right! I'll get Nancy and we'll get everyone- just- we'll be there soon."

Eddie slams the phone down and has to meet his uncle's eye now.

"Eddie. What is goin' on?"

Eddie inhales a breath and can feel his lower lip quivering. "It's- can we talk about it later? I promise I'm not the one hurt, or in trouble, or- it's not me, ok. I just-"

"Yer shakin' like a leaf boy. What's got you so spooked?"

Eddie just shakes his head and flees back to his room, slamming the door shut between him and his uncle. He can't bring himself to cross the room to Steve. He slides himself down the door to sit on the floor, pulling his knees up to hug.

"I'm so sorry, Steve. I'm sorry."

#steddie #my fic #porcelain steve #TW: Eddie calls himself a faggot and he means it in a bad way #did I make a playlist on spotify w/ Top 40 songs for June 21-27 1987 so id know how many tapes eddie had to use to record it? #yes. its 2 tapes fyi‚ using side A and B of one. a total of 2h54m. in my defense it was a writers block activity. #couldnt figure out what to have jeff say to comfort eddie that was in character and era-appropriate so... playlist it was! #if i were titling these parts this would be Eddie's No Good‚ Very Bad‚ Terrible‚ Horrible Day #I mean... he's had worse days (Spring Break '86) but this is up there for him #also back to back updates!? who am i??? but don't expect another one too soon #i started this one as part 6 originally but decided i wanted a more lighthearted piece first #so i wrote like 2/3 of this before writing what i posted for part 6 so finishing this was quick

[project1939]

100 Films of 1952 

Film number 99: Actors and Sin 

Release date: May 29th, 1952. 

Studio: United Artists 

Genre: drama/comedy 

Director: Ben Hecht, Lee Garmes 

Producer: Ben Hect 

Actors: Edward G. Robinson, Eddie Albert, Marsha Hunt 

Plot Summary: This is actually two short films back-to-back. The first is Actor’s Blood, a melodrama about a father and daughter’s changing fortunes in the theater, and the second is A Woman of Sin, about a Hollywood agent who discovers the author of a hot new screenplay is a nine-year-old girl. 

My Rating (out of five stars): ** 

Yikes, this one was bad. (Or these two, I suppose, given it is two films in one?) The first film asks the question “What if we merged All About Eve and Sunset Boulevard in the worst possible way?” The second one is essentially a 45-minute joke. “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Stupid!” “Stupid who?” “Hollywood producers are so stupid they would think a screenplay written by a 9-year-old is a masterpiece!” 

The Good: 

Eddie Albert was at least somewhat amusing as the Hollywood agent in the second section. 

Edward G. Robinson. He definitely overacted in a ridiculous melodramatic way, but I think that was probably the direction he was given. In any case, I love him, and his presence on the screen makes me happy, no matter how bad the material is. 

The film did a lot of name dropping of real Hollywood producers- Mayer, Warner, Goldwyn, Selznick, etc, which was kind of fun. The best part, though, was when a character said, “Selznick called,” but the subtitles read “Sweitzer called.”!!? 

The Bad: 

The quality of both films was not very good, and the split format didn’t work for me. The juxtaposition was jarring, and the only thing the two had in common was a seedy cynical look at the entertainment industry. 

The writing was terrible. I expected much better from Ben Hecht. The dialogue was pompous and stilted- it was trying way too hard to sound witty and sophisticated, and it failed. It was cringy. 

Was the first section supposed to be funny? I expected the opening scene of the film to turn out to be a parody, and I was horrified to realize it wasn’t. At least not obviously. I don’t really know how much humor I was supposed to find in it, but it didn’t succeed at either melodrama or dramedy. 

Marsha Hunt as Marcia Tillayou. Tillayou was an awful character with an awful name, and Hunt was pretty awful herself. I kept thinking it was meant to come off like All About Eve, but Hunt was the most inferior Margot Channing you could find. Nothing about her was appealing.  

The transparent predictability of the first film. I called the “murderer” from literally the first scene! 

The characters in the first film were all bland, undeveloped, and uninteresting. 

The second section was essentially a way too long drawn out joke- it might have worked as an SNL skit, but not as a 45 minute film. It was all one note really, and the kid gag got old very fast. 

There were running “jokes” of the Hollywood agent suddenly making out with his secretary that were kind of awkward and gross. 

Fat shaming a kid, really? The agent called a 9-year-old girl “fat” a couple of times. She was literally like a bean pole, for goodness sake! 

I don’t want to heap criticism on a child actor, but the girl who played Daisy in this was not good enough to carry a film of this length. She wasn’t bad, but it would have been funnier with a more skilled actress. But she was also the director/producer/writer’s kid in real life. So yeah. 

The ending of the second film was extremely unfunny. It was just a cringy cap on a cringy film. 

The title. Actors and Sin would be silly enough, but it is technically Actor’s and Sin, given that it’s an abbreviation of Actor’s Blood and A Woman of Sin. But part of my soul will literally die if I actually type Actor’s and Sin without an explanation! 

#project1952 #1952 movies #1952 #100 films of 1952

[alecmagnuslwb]

Rent a Holidate

Read on AO3

Magnus is barely paying attention as his father blathers on about his annual Thanksgiving party. It’s the same as every year, food made by an overpaid chef, schmoosing clients and Magnus being expected to attend and behave.

They don’t even really celebrate Thanksgiving and it’s definitely not about family coming together to be thankful for the things they have and the love they share, it’s a way for his father to impress his clients with the size of his house and the happy little family picture that he, whoever his latest wife is and Magnus make. It’s a fake night, filled with fake rich people that Magnus loathes more and more every single year.

There’s a pause on his fathers end of the line and Magnus scrambles assuming he was asked some sort of question.

“Yes, of course,” he says hoping that’s the right answer. Evidently it’s neutral considering his father’s monotonous response.

“Fine then, I hope that he or she will be an acceptable date for the evening,” his father says. Oh shit, he thinks, did I just agree to bring a date to this thing?

For a moment he considers backtracking saying he won’t be bringing anyone, it’s not like he’s been on so much as a half decent date in over a year, but he knows his father, once you’ve said something you act on it, no turning back. So instead he grits his teeth and accepts he’ll be bullshitting his way through an emergency excuse to why his fake partner couldn’t attend the night of.

“He is very acceptable,” Magnus says faux cheery conjuring up a fake boyfriend in his head. Not that any partner of his could be deemed acceptable by his father, his father even finds his own career path teaching English at NYU to be an underperformance.

“It’s not Columbia,” he always says whenever Magnus talks about his work.

“Well, then I look forward to meeting him,” his father says not at all sounding like he’s looking forward to it. Which is good considering Magnus’ supposed boyfriend is a complete fabrication. “I’ll see you in a week.”

And just like that he hangs up, no goodbye, nothing.

Magnus sighs tossing his phone into the graded paper box on his desk and begins crafting a personality and profession for his fake boyfriend just in case he needs a more solid alibi.

***

Magnus laments his woes to Dot and Catarina later that night, it’s Thursday which means mimosas and movies.

“Part of me just wants to make up an excuse and be done with it, it’s not like he’ll even remember in a week’s time after the fact that I ever even had a supposed boyfriend,” Magnus says pausing to take a sip of his mimosa. “The other part of me just wants to bring the world’s worst date and embarrass him to no end.”

“You mean Camille wasn’t the world’s worst date?” Dot says curling up in the chair beside Cat with her own mimosa in hand.

“Camille was the world’s worst date, but she never was one to make a scene, she was quietly and privately terrible,” Magnus says moving quickly past the topic of his wicked ex. “I mean someone who’s not a bad person, just kind of a mess.”

“Why don’t you hire the guy Dot hired last year for her family reunion?” Cat says not even bothering to look up from her phone as she scrolls reading reviews for the movie they’re about to watch.

“Yeah he was great,” Dot says agreeing with Cat’s suggestion. “His names Alec. He can’t play straight to save his life which made it even better because my whole family was convinced I was not only dating a worthless degenerate, but a worthless degenerate gay man. Hilarious, honestly.”

She pulls up something on her phone and hands it to Magnus. It’s a Craigslist ad titled, Alone on Thanksgiving? Mad at your dad? Tired of your family’s absurd expectations?

He takes the phone reading the post entirely.

My name is Alec Lightwood, I’m a 28 year old almost felon who went to college for three weeks before dropping out. I have a Thunderbird that’s only a year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen’s red guitar. It’s hideous and embarrassing and I love it. I can play anywhere between the ages of 23 to 32 depending on if I shave. I’m a bartender and occasional bouncer when the need requires, I haven’t been seen not in a leather jacket with a tear in the back since high school, I’m gay and very bad at hiding it and I’ve even got an eyebrow scar that’s sure to raise a few eyebrows (get it, raise a few eyebrows).

If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for a gathering of some sort, but have me pretend to be in a very serious relationship with you to torment your family, I’m game.

I can do these things at your request:

-        Openly hit on other guests while you act like you don’t notice (of any gender, I may be gay but I can embarrassingly hit on anyone even if it’s not convincing).

 -        Start instigative discussions about politics and/or religion (sports are off the table however unless your family are big into the Rangers or Islanders, then I can talk shit for days.)

 -        Propose to you in front of everyone and you tearily accept or you turn me down and I proceed to have a breakdown, but we resolve to work on our relationship much to your family’s chagrin.

 -        Pretend to be increasingly drunk as the evening goes on (sorry, I don’t actually drink anymore, but I used to. A lot. Too much in fact. I know the drill.)

 -        Start a screaming match with a family member, that could come to blows (but no one will be physically harmed, I promise) either inside or on the front lawn (if there is one) for all the neighbors to see.

I require no pay but the free food I will receive as a guest at any event!

We can meet prior to the event somewhere public and you can ask me any questions. And I mean any questions so that you feel safe.

-        Do NOT contact with unsolicited services or offers. Email me at: [email protected]

“Um, he’s a felon?” Magnus says looking up from the phone when he’s done.

“Hey, don’t judge, you’re not exactly rap sheet free,” Dot says scolding him with a smile. Which okay, he does have a few arrests on his record, petty little things and pick-ups at a protest or two, but felonies are a bit above that. He says that aloud. “Also, as it says he’s technically an almost felon.”

“He’s not a murderer or anything, I had Raphael check out his history before I requested his services,” Dot continues on to explain, referring to their friend who’s a prosecutor. “He got picked up for aggravated assault after he caught the guy who got his sister hooked on drugs in her bed shooting her up, it was a bullshit charge from a snake of a man who deserved every hit he got. The charges were ultimately dropped and settled when the piece of shit he beat up got hit with about ten felonies himself. He’s a good guy, like a really good guy I promise.”

“Didn’t Raphael even stress that he never would have convicted Alec in a million years on the charges?” Cat says getting up from her seat and heading to the kitchen to refill her mimosa glass.

Dot nods taking a sip of her drink. “He did, he said any jury would have sided with him over the 30 year old drug pusher preying on an 18 year old girl. And even though we can’t tell him, because we don’t want him to smirk about it all the time and get a big head, we both know Raphael is the best judge of character and lawyer in America.”

It’s true, Raphael always knows what he’s talking about.

“Plus,” Dot continues on. “Alec’s very upfront about it, I didn’t even need to do the background check he told me exactly what went down when we met for coffee before the event, even brought his sister along to corroborate and make me feel comfortable.”

“Wow,” Magnus says genuinely surprised by the decency of a man on the internet.

“Also, he’s very cute,” Dot smirks over the rim of her glass waggling her eyebrows in Magnus’ direction.

Magnus rolls his eyes. “I don’t think it matters if my fake date is cute.”

“So you’re gonna do it?” Catarina says coming back in the room, a pitcher filled to the brim with mimosa mix in her hand.

Magnus bites his lip in thought as he looks down at the phone in his hand again. He does want to cause a ruckus, he’s tired of being the perfect little son when his father needs him to be. And Alec Lightwood might just be able to provide the exact ruckus he’s looking for.

“What the hell,” he mutters before tossing Dot’s phone to her. “Do I need to email him, or do you still have his number?”

Dot smiles in delight as she taps on her phone his own phone buzzing in his pocket a second later with Alec’s number.

***

Alec keeps his text exchanges simple, offering to meet Magnus the following afternoon after Magnus’ noon class for coffee. Alec lets Magnus choose everything, clearly dedicated to making the person contacting him as comfortable as possible. Luckily for Magnus Alec’s had no inquiries for this Thanksgiving, except for one that was definitely unsavory and he turned down immediately.

With such short notice Magnus thought for sure this might not work out.

He walks in scanning the shop looking for Alec and comes up empty based on Dot’s description of him. He gets in line and orders a drink finding a table off to the side where it’s not too crowded to sit and wait. He’s barely settled into his seat when the chime above the door rings and in walks a stunner with long legs and dark hair.

The man pauses scanning the room, then his eyes land on Magnus his lips tilt up just a bit and he walks over his way.

“Magnus Bane?” he says in question when he reaches the table. Magnus is speechless for a moment as the sun catches in the man’s hazel eyes and on the tiny silver hoops in his ears. He shakes himself from the trance he’s in, ignoring the way his eyes shine a little greener when he tilts his head and nods his own head in confirmation.

“Alec Lightwood?”

“That’s me,” the man says with a smile that crinkles at the edges just a bit, he reaches out a hand that Magnus takes shaking it instantly enjoying the contrast of Alec’s cold fingers to his warm ones. Magnus squeezes his hand once before letting go. “I’m just gonna go get a drink and then we can talk,” Alec says stepping back with a tentative, but dazzling smile.

Magnus watches him go enjoying the view of his long legs in motion. He spots the tear in the back of his leather jacket, just like mentioned in his ad, and smiles. Alec comes back moments later a mug of black coffee in hang.

“So you need a bad date for Thanksgiving,” he says tearing open an obscene amount of sugar packets and pouring them into his mug. “I’m guessing before we get into that though, you want to know about the almost felony?”

Magnus shakes his head and Alec looks at him quizzically for a moment, before the puzzle pieces in his mind clearly fall into place.

“Dot,” he says in understanding. “She must have told you everything.”

“She did,” Magnus confirms taking a sip of his drink. “And for the record it sounds like you were in the right.”

Alec smiles a small uncertain smile almost like he’s not sure that’s the truth, but takes the words as a compliment anyways.

“It wasn’t my finest moment, I guess I’m just overprotective when it comes to people I love,” he says running his fingers along the rim of his mug.

“Getting a drug predator away from your sister isn’t just being overprotective, it’s doing the right thing,” he says genuine. He remembers when they were in high school and Raphael had his run with a bad crowd, it never came to it, but he would have done the same thing Alec did if the situation had presented itself.

Alec just shrugs looking off to the side. Magnus sees the uncomfortable set in his shoulders and shifts the conversation.

“You come highly recommended, Dot says you put on one hell of a show at her family reunion,” he says with a bright smile.

Alec’s shoulders ease and he turns back to Magnus with a smile.

“Dot barely needed me, she put on a performance just as stunning, I’ve never seen a woman so small body tackle so many people during what’s supposed to be a friendly game of tag,” he says with a chuckle.

Magnus has heard all about Dot’s deadly game and seen the bruises she proudly displayed from her somewhat violent performance first hand.

“Believe me it’s not the first time she’s tackled down a full-grown man,” Magnus says with a laugh fondly remembering a frat party, an unsuspecting frat boy and a fateful game of beer pong from many years ago.

“Somehow that does not surprise me,” Alec says rubbing a hand across his dark beard. The conversation shifts from there, Magnus giving Alec the full rundown about his father, his current stepmother and the all too haughty evening they’ll be subjected to.

Conversation flows easy between them, Alec seeming to understand a lot of Magnus’ struggles with his family life and Magnus finds himself wondering if there’s more to why he does this bit of charity for people in need.

“So, why exactly is it you do this?” Magnus asks, clarifying quickly when Alec raises his eyebrow in question. They’ve covered the felony yes and it’s clear that Alec just simply cares, but that’s not a full reason why. “I mean I believe that you’re just a genuinely good person who wants to help people, but it’s deeper than that isn’t it?”

Alec pauses for a moment rubbing the back of his neck nervously, Magnus is about to tell him he doesn’t have to explain if it’s an uncomfortable topic just as Alec starts to talk.

“I’m gay,” he says and Magnus smirks, the obviously on the tip of his tongue. Alec picks up on it smiling back. “Obviously, but for a long time I couldn’t be, or at least not at home. My parents are kind of rich, they’d do these big to do holiday parties every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas. When my siblings and I were little they were just big boring adult parties that we’d steal food from. Then we all got old enough to date and to have plans for the future.”

Magnus hums in understanding. That’s how his father’s parties had been, one day he was a kid just stealing cookies and hating the droll grown ups and the next he was a man expected to present himself in certain ways, ways that weren’t remotely who he was.

“By the time I was 21 I was still in the closet, and already on their shit list for dropping out of college, and I never dated and my parents were just determined to find me a wife. Every year it was so and so’s daughter is lovely and has such a strong education or so and so’s daughter is coming and I can’t wait for you to meet her,” he says twisting the coffee mug between his hands. “I’m pretty sure those holiday parties are how my drinking got so bad, forced heterosexuality and an open bar do not mix well together.”

He chuckles and Magnus takes that as an invitation to do the same. Again he gets it, he’s taken his fair advantage of the open bar at his father’s parties many times.

“And then one year my dad was going on about some girl who was at Thanksgiving dinner, I don’t even remember her name, but she was standing there and the whole time he’s talking about how she’s so pretty and so ready to start a family and I should make a move before someone else did. And I was losing my mind internally and evidently I’d had just enough to drink that I just screamed at the top of my lungs that I was gay.”

He pauses taking the last sip of his coffee.

“And then I just left after my mom was trying to talk to me about causing a scene. Then Christmas rolls around and to my extreme shock I get the invite. I thought for sure I was in for the lecture I’d been avoiding for a month, but instead they just acted like Thanksgiving hadn’t even happened,” he shakes his head. “They invited some other poor girl to try and marry me off to and just went on like I hadn’t had a big, gay outburst. My outburst was a lot bigger that time, after that I didn’t get any more party invites, they just cut me out entirely.”

Magnus reaches out resting his hand on Alec’s that’s drumming on the table. “I’m so sorry, Alexander,” he says trying out the full name for the first time guessing that’s what Alec is short for. He likes the way it rolls off his tongue and judging from the way Alec doesn’t correct him he ventures he got it right.

Alec just shrugs with a sad little smile on his lips. “It’s okay,” he says. “I mean it wasn’t back then, but I’m okay now. I don’t need my parents or their money, my siblings are still in my life and I’ve got a whole life outside of that. I can have my gay outbursts in peace now.”

Magnus laughs squeezing his hand once before pulling back, he’s been resting it there much too long now.

They talk logistics after that, establishing a plan for the holiday dinner. Alec immediately offers to bring his Thunderbird to drive to Magnus’ father’s place upstate.

“I don’t have the car not to be embarrassing about it,” he says and Magnus smiles insisting he pays for the gas then.

He spends almost three hours and four coffees with Alec and eventually finds they’re not even talking about the dinner in question, but they’re just talking instead.

It’s an unexpected development.

***

Coffee with Alec goes all too well and by the end of it they have a carefully cultivated story about how they met and how long they’ve supposedly been together all set in stone. Alec ensures him he’ll be the ultimate, best bad boyfriend for the night, and frankly Magnus is having a hard time believing it.

Alec is sweet, kind without even realizing it and looks like the living embodiment of tall, dark and handsome. If Magnus is being honest he’d love to take him out sometime as a real date more than a bad boyfriend for the night.

He calls Dot after they’ve said their goodbyes, walking to his apartment not far from the coffee shop.

“So how’d it go?” Dot asks immediately upon answering the phone.

“He’s incredibly charming without trying to be and cute is a fucking understatement, Dorothea,” he says looking both ways before crossing to the other side of the street.

Dot chuckles wildly on the other side.

“I’m serious, if I was given the opportunity to craft a man based on looks alone I’m pretty sure he’d be what I’d create, he’s gorgeous,” Magnus says as he reaches his building going inside and heading for the elevator.

“I may have undersold him slightly,” Dot says sounding all too innocent.

“And was there a reason for that, my dear?” he says. He’s starting to feel like he’s being set up.

“Perhaps,” she says and he can hear the gleeful smile in her voice. “You can thank me later, for now just enjoy your bad boyfriend.”

***

Five days later on the last Thursday of the month, Magnus waits outside of his apartment for Alec and at three o’clock on the dot Alec’s truly ridiculous car pulls up. It’s even better in person than he described.

The black, red and white lines are exactly like Eddie Van Halen’s infamous guitar and the ’93 Thunderbird is just on the right side of beat up. The left taillight is busted, covered in see through tape and there’s a sizeable dent in the passenger side door.

Alec steps out of the car, a vision in his signature leather jacket, black jeans with far too many tears and dark eyeliner around his eyes. It’s not neat like Magnus’ though, it’s messy. His whole look from his disheveled, but neat hair, to his trimmed beard to his scuffed boots is just on the right side of acceptable, but screams of a wild side as well.

Magnus isn’t as black tie as he knows his father would like him to be, wearing a deep red shirt and tight pants with a line down the side, his perfectly styled hair, curly and soft with matching red streaks running through it. They make a pretty attractive pair if Magnus does say so himself.

Magnus can’t wait to see how the evening plays out.

Alec smiles at him coming over to open the passenger side door, it takes a couple tugs to get it open.

“It’s a little finicky,” he says playfully bowing and gesturing for Magnus to get inside. “Your chariot awaits.”

Magnus smiles stepping into the car. Alec shuts the door tight rounding the car and falling into his seat.

“Ready to cause a scene?” Alec says with a devilish smile that Magnus finds hard to resist.

“Absolutely,” he says with his own answering smile as Alec turns the key and peels out onto the road.

***

The ride up takes about two hours all told with holiday traffic and every minute of it is delightful. Alec tells him more about himself, outside of the surface stuff they’d covered to make sure Magnus was comfortable with this whole night.

He learns Alec loves archery, has an affinity for trash shows like the Bachelor and has a vicious little cat he adores named Church. Magnus gives his own tidbits in return about his work at the university and his love of bad horror movies, laughing when Alec suggests their fiendish cats might just get along.

Magnus laughs just as they pull up outside of his father’s home, “Chairman doesn’t exactly play well with others.”

Alec shrugs. “Neither does Church, that’s why it’d be fun,” he says with a smile pulling his eyes away from Magnus looking up at the sprawling house before them. He slows the car to a stop pulling into a spot that makes the car perfectly visible from the wall of windows that line the living room where all the guests won’t be able to miss it.

“Damn,” Alec says as he steps out of the car, Magnus joins him where he’s leaning back against the front of his Thunderbird. His car looks amazingly out of place and perfectly hilarious parked between a silver Porsche and a sleek black Lamborghini. “Your father’s in real estate you said?”

“Amongst other things,” Magnus grumbles looking at the house that was always too big, that always felt hollow and empty to Magnus when they moved here after his mother skipped town.

“It’s way too big,” Alec says with a grimace looking it over one last time before offering his arm to Magnus. Magnus takes it guiding him to the front door. “And there’s way too many fucking windows.”

Magnus chuckles as they reach the door opening it automatically and walking in. The space is gaudier than the last time he was there, the walls where once his father and stepmother number four’s portraits used to hang now feature the latest wife and sadly the one of him that his father had commissioned years ago. It’s the last time he’d agreed to sit for one of his gaudy paintings, he’s young, barely 20 wearing a stiff suit and barely any makeup, he doesn’t look like him at all.

“Well that’s a painting,” Alec says looking at it. “I like this you better,” he says eyeing Magnus up and down. Whether he meant to or not there’s a lingering in the look, Magnus likes it. “That looks like somebody trying to be something they’re not.”

And just like that with one look at a painting, Alec nails him right on the head. Like he can read Magnus easily, a thing that just about no one can do.

“Come on,” Magnus says pulling Alec along down the garish hallway that leads to the large expanse of the living room. There’s a new chandelier hanging in the hall, riddled in way too many gems. He bets it’s a feature added by the new wife.

“Maggie!” a woman’s voice yells, speak of the devil, he rolls his eyes at the nickname no matter how many times he’s told her to drop it she just won’t. “Happy Thanksgiving!”

His stepmother comes bouncing over their way, her ridiculously high heels clacking against the hardwood floor. He can hear his father sigh from the other side of the room, more concerned with his precious oak floors than anything else in the world.

Magnus braces himself as she barrels into him hugging him tight, she releases him with a smile before turning to Alec and doing the same.

Alec’s eyes go wide in surprise, no matter how much Magnus described her to him there’s no preparing for hurricane Marissa. She pulls back adjusting her very not appropriate for the setting tight pink and black strapless dress with a smile, her fake tan looks a little lighter than usual and he’s weirdly proud of her for that.

“And who is this?” she asks reaching out to adjust Magnus’ shirt collar that she crumpled when hugging him.

“This is my boyfriend, Alec,” he says gesturing his way. “Alec this is my father’s wife, Marissa.”

Marissa playfully pats Magnus’ cheek, “Stepmother.” She says it pointedly holding out a hand to quickly shake Alec’s. He will never refer to her as his stepmother out loud, much like the past four wives Magnus bets Marissa will be gone in five years’ time tops, his own mother hadn’t even stuck around that long. Also, she’s 25, five years younger than him, and there’s no way he’s referring to her as anything remotely close to a mother.

“It’s lovely to have you in our home,” Marissa says to Alec gesturing to the room at large. Magnus looks around at the room full of people, most of whom he doesn’t remotely recognize. A few seem somewhat familiar in the most unmemorable sense. He’s sure they’re constant clients and rich cohorts of his father’s that have attended before.

“That it is,” his father’s voice says coming up behind his wife. He rests one hand on her shoulder and holds out another Alec’s way. “Asmodeus Bane.”

“Alec Lightwood,” he says a perfect gentleman returning his father’s handshake. They’d agreed to keep it civil for at the least the first introduction and then let the evening escalate from there. Magnus can tell just from looking at it his father’s grip is tight, commanding and borderline threatening, but Alec doesn’t even flinch.

“Lightwood, hm?” his father says eyeing Alec up and down frowning and Magnus can tell he already disapproves of what he sees. “Any relation to the Lightwood Consulting company?”

“Yes,” Alec says and Magnus smiles when he sees his father’s lips uptick in an impressed smile that immediately falls at Alec’s next words. “But they cut me out and off years ago, I’m the black sheep of the family if you will.”

Asmodeus just hums disappointed. “Well, that’s a shame,” he says. “So, how did you meet my son?” he asks not bothering with anymore small talk now that he’s already decided Alec’s no good, just jumping right in to the things he can criticize.

“Prison,” Alec jokes and Marissa titters delightfully. She quickly stops when Asmodeus looks at her disappointedly. “Just kidding,” he says. “I did my time there years ago, no we met at a bar.”

Asmodeus bristles at the prison mention, which is technically a lie, Alec only spent a few hours in a cell back when he was arrested, but his father clearly buys it as more. Magnus can tell he’s tuning out the rest of their crafted meet cute story, all about how three months ago Alec had a few too many drinks and almost got into a fight and Magnus had been his stalwart knight in shining armor.

“Love at first sight,” Marissa sighs clearly enjoying their made up tale. “Isn’t it sweet, Asmody?” she coos tugging on his father’s arm.

“Yes, quite sweet,” Asmodeus grimaces gripping his wife’s arm and pulling her away. “We’ll talk later.” He says looking directly at Magnus, essentially and completely dismissing Alec’s presence all together before stepping away. Marissa grins wide waving at them as she goes her long pink acrylic nails clicking together as she does so. Marissa may not be the brightest or subtlest bulb, but at least unlike many of Asmodeus’ past wives she’s nice enough.

“Well damn, do I even need to do anything else? He seems disappointed enough already,” Alec says shaking his head in disbelief.

“Now, where would the fun in that be,” Magnus says with a smirk, shrugging off his jacket. Alec follows suit and Magnus admires the view of his arms in a short sleeved well-fitting white button up shirt. His love of archery has made for some nicely toned muscle.

***

They mingle for a bit after Magnus deposits their coats in one of the coat closets, Magnus putting on his best son of the year smile while Alec downs glasses of water that everyone thinks is vodka at a fairly speedy rate.

It’d been his first task when they’d rejoined the party walking over to the bar with a smile.

“I need you to fill a bottle or two of vodka with water and keep serving me all night,” he said to the bored and disgruntled looking woman behind the counter. The rest of the hired help for the night must have been sequestered away in the kitchen until dinner judging by her being the first one that Magnus had spotted.

“You planning something weird tonight?” she questioned sliding Magnus a glass of red wine.

“Not weird, just disruptive,” Alec said so kind and so believable that the girl perked up.

“Well I love to see rich people who call me barkeep unironically disrupted, so you got it,” she said with a smile discreetly pouring out a bottle and refilling it with water before handing a glass to Alec as he dumped a sizeable wad of cash into her completely empty tip jar. God, rich people were cheap.

She’s been steadily serving him since.

Now they find themselves with a man who has to be bordering on 200 years old and it seems Alec decides it’s time to truly get to work.

“All that glitters,” the old man says talking about something that they’ve clearly both been tuning out.

“Glitters?” Alec says a little too loud, just enough so that everyone in their vicinity can hear. “You mean the place on 5th? My ex used to dance there, maybe you saw him, man knew how to work a pole if you know what I mean?” he winks at the old man and Magnus just barely stifles his laughter as the old man steps back in shock. He mumbles something unintelligible looking suddenly ill and paler than he had before and slips away.

Alec tosses back his drink and hands it to a passing woman in a truly hideous pantsuit that is definitely not a server, dragging Magnus along to the table of appetizers. He tosses shrimp into his mouth not bothering with a napkin, rubbing his hands on his ripped-up jeans making direct eye contact with a young woman, no doubt another trophy wife, as he does so. She scrunches up her nose and steps away.

Evidently despite his fairly small work so far he’s made just enough of a scene to garner Asmodeus’ attention once again.

“So, Alec, I assume that colorful vehicle outside is yours?” he says walking up beside the two of them. Their bartender and conspirator comes up just then handing Alec a fresh glass.

Alec smiles at her, before turning to Asmodeus. He’s not acting drunk yet, but he’s bordering on behaving tipsy.

He slings an arm over Magnus’ shoulder and brings him in close. Magnus settles a hand at Alec’s waste enjoying the proximity.

“Yes, that is my sweet Cherry,” he says naming the car on the spot. “Won her in a poker game when I was 18, crashed her three days later and have been patching her back together ever since.”

“A poker game?” Asmodeus questions, clearly becoming more disappointed by the minute.

“Yup,” he says cheerfully popping the p in the word. “Well, I wouldn’t say won directly, more cheated a guy and then fought him for it,” he pauses gesturing to the little sliced scar that runs through his left eyebrow. “That’s how I got this.”

“You wouldn’t believe how many tire irons a high school principal is carrying around,” Alec continues with a snort tossing back half of his drink.

Magnus just nods along in agreement to Alec’s concocted tale. He actually bought the car from his sister’s ex-boyfriend when he was nineteen for 200 bucks, but this story shocks far more.

“You mean to say you fought your principal for your car?” Asmodeus says judgement so very clear in his voice.

“High school, am I right?” Alec shrugs with a chuckle smiling down into his drink. Asmodeus looks appalled.

“Oh, come on don’t look like that father,” Magnus says placing his free hand on Alec’s chest and patting there lightly. Magnus can’t help but notice how solid the chest under his hand is. “I got up to some trouble in high school myself, surely you remember.”

Asmodeus just hums, clearly finding Magnus’ occasional wild parties without permission a dull comparison to the tale Alec just told.

“Never forget the time I streaked and jumped from the guest house roof to the trampoline and right into the pool, nearly broke my arm in the process,” Magnus says with a smile. Alec leans over burying his face in Magnus’ hair, careful not to mess it up, whether it’s to play up the PDA or stifle a laugh Magnus isn’t sure.

They’d had a whole conversation about PDA, Alec promising to respect his boundaries, no kissing and never a hand wandering beneath his waist.

“How could I forget,” Asmodeus says sharply embarrassed by his son’s antics. He turns towards the large windows and looks out to where the porch patio lights illuminate Alec’s car.

“It is so sexy that you did that,” Alec says ignoring Asmodeus and turning towards Magnus. He downs the rest of his drink and meet’s Magnus’ eyes, a question and idea brewing clear in them. Magnus smirks tugging at Alec’s shirt.

“You think so?” he says teasingly.

“Mm hmm,” Alec says biting his lip and Magnus knows this is all a part of the show, but god are those lips tempting.

Magnus catches Asmodeus turning his attention back to them looking outright furious. Magnus pulls away from Alec’s eyes and smiles a bright smile like they’re doing absolutely nothing wrong.

“I’m gonna give Alec the tour,” he says leadingly pulling Alec along by both hands and rushing away from the living room and down the hall before Asmodeus can say a word. He can see Alec’s smirk as he notices the stares of the other guests in the room.

Magnus doesn’t even pay attention to where they’re going as he pulls them into a room just off the right side of the hall.

“How’d you actually get that scar?” Magnus asks once they’re inside shutting the door behind him, no doubt convincing everyone they’re about to get down and dirty.

“Took a hockey stick to the face when I was 17,” he says pulling himself to sit up on a desk. A desk that Magnus now recognizes as his fathers. They’ve pulled themselves into his father’s office and if they get caught in here he’ll never hear the end of it, he loves it.

“You played hockey?” Magnus asks lifting himself up to sit beside Alec on the desk ignoring the papers he accidentally topples to the ground.

Alec nods in the affirmative. “I did, that’s why it’s the only sport I can start heckling fights about, everything else is boring.”

Magnus snorts at that, he’s never been partial to any sport himself.

“Did you really do what you said out there?” Alec asks picking up a notepad and flipping through it mindlessly.

“I did,” Magnus smiles and Alec’s eyebrows both go up. “Don’t look so surprised, you’re not the only one capable of mischief.”

“Oh, I see that,” he says with a smile tossing the notepad back to where he found it. “That is kinda sexy you achieved a jump like that and didn’t get hurt.” He says it with his voice low and all sorts of New York around the edges. He freezes his hand stopping over the spot where he’d been about to pick up the ugly green and bronze sphere shaped paper weight beside him.

Magnus freezes too, Alec saying something like that while they’re alone makes it real, not like the fake flirty way he’d said it out in the living room.

“Sorry, that’s not, I’m sorry, I never cross that line when I do these things, we’re alone and,” Alec runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

Magnus shakes his head reaching out and tentatively laying his hand atop Alec’s where it rests on the desk between them.

“It’s okay,” he says and Alec looks at him ready to argue the point. Magnus jumps in stopping him before he can say a word and taking his own leap into making this far more real than fake. “Really, it’s okay. You, uh, you’re not so bad yourself.”

Alec huffs a laugh opening and closing his mouth a few times like he’s looking for the right words to say. The space between them feels a little charged now that they’ve floated out the simple fact there’s a real attraction here. Alec closes his mouth and bites his lip looking determined like he knows what to say finally when the door busts open.

“Oh, my apologies boys,” Marissa says standing in the doorway her hands on her hips and a pleased little smile on her lips. “But dinner is served.”

Magnus and Alec pull away from one another quickly hopping off the desk and stepping towards the door.

“You two are just too cute,” Marissa says when they reach her. She loops each of her arms through one of theirs and tugs them down the hall happily. “Don’t listen to a word your father says.”

Magnus meets Alec’s eyes over her head only to find Alec already looking at him, a soft smile on his lips.

***

Magnus takes his proverbial spot on his father’s right at the head of the table, Marissa doing the same on his left. Despite Asmodeus’ clear attempt to keep Alec as far away from him and Magnus as possible by seating him at the far end of the long table he fails. Luckily one of Marissa’s friends, just as airy and tight dressed as her is seated next to Magnus and happily swaps spots with Alec.

Alec lifts his drink to Asmodeus in a faux toast that Asmodeus doesn’t even feign interest in as he takes his seat.

Dinner is served and it’s to be expected. The sweet potatoes are divine none of that weird marshmallow bullshit in them, the mac and cheese is literally to die for and the homemade bread hits in just the right way. The turkey is terrible, but that’s not at the fault of the overpriced chef that’s just simply because it’s an indisputable fact that turkey tastes like napkins.

Alec eats so much Magnus is concerned, he can tell from the tight fit of his shirt that Alec is in impeccable shape so he doesn’t really know where he puts it all as he goes for his fourth serving of mac and cheese.

But long before his fourth serving of cheesy goodness Alec starts up at least three debates that would be deemed far too impolite for their supposed polite company. Each fresh serving he corners someone new into a debate; first it’s an old lady in a pantsuit pulled into a debate about the existence of god, then a forty something who looks like he’s never seen a rainbow without feeling threatened into a talk on the merits of teaching queer history to children and finally a woman who can’t be much older than them who looks like her name is Tinsley or Ainsleigh or something equally as nauseating into a tense bordering on yelling match about the importance of safe abortion access.

He sounds a little more drunk with every conversation and he’s damn good at faking it. He sounds just the right amount of inebriated not slurring his words too much or fumbling around with his silverware, it’s practiced, a master class in being drunk without being drunk. Most people overplay it acting far more outlandish than a drunk person sitting at a table would, but Alec has it down pact.

Magnus watches him not a care in the world, acting like he doesn’t even notice the disruption Alec is causing. The only person aside from Magnus that doesn’t look increasingly more uncomfortable by the minute is Marissa who looks like she’s having the time of her life watching these stuffy rich people squirm.

Asmodeus of course does not look delighted, he barely eats, just scowls over the rim of his wine glass and attempts to deflect any conversation Alec purposely instigates another way unsuccessfully.

The only time he seems to look like he’s not about to have a coronary is when everyone’s plates are finally collected, Alec still shoveling the last bit of mashed potatoes on his plate into his mouth as one of the waiters lifts the plate away from him, and it’s announced that dinner and coffee will be served in the living room.

Alec stands stretching his arms up over his head and Magnus admires the ripple of his muscles as he does so before standing beside him. Alec reaches over the table picking up yet another glass of water and tossing it back with a loud unnecessary thirst quenched sound before holding out his hand to Magnus. Magnus takes it instantly with a smile following along as they head for the living room once again.  

***

A waiter takes their dessert requests, a choice of six different types of pie as they file out of the large dining room.

Magnus selects the pumpkin pie, while Alec chooses the chocolate pecan.

“Pecan, gross,” Magnus says as they work their way over to one side of the room a little bit away from everyone else to have just a moment of reprieve.

“How dare you, pecan pie is delicious,” Alec says sounding outright offended.

Magnus rolls his eyes and crosses his arms making a face that screams Alec is insane to have that opinion.

“It’s all sugar, no substance,” Magnus says. He really shouldn’t be surprised Alec’s favorite pie is one as ridiculously sugar based as pecan considering the amount of sugar he witnessed him dump into his coffee a few days prior. Alec doesn’t even deign him with a response, he just gives him another affronted look like Magnus has insulted his entire being, not a pie.

Moments later a waiter hands them each their requested pies. Alec takes a bite of his pointedly making eye contact with Magnus as he does so and making a pleased obnoxious yum sound. Magnus just rolls his eyes again, amused as he takes a bite of his own pie.

“So, are you enjoying yourself so far this evening?” Magnus asks after a few minutes of companionable silence.

Alec pauses grabbing a coffee from a passing tray and taking a sip, he grimaces a bit at the black coffee before answering Magnus’ question. Out of the corner of his eye Magnus sees his father watching them, almost looking excited to see Alec drinking a coffee, probably hoping it will sober him up.

“Well, your father is kind of terrible, and all these people are exhausting,” he says gesturing with his fork to the room at large after he sits his coffee on the floor next to him. “But despite the fact she may be a little air headed Marissa is lovely and I get a kick out of making rich people as uncomfortable as possible, so it’s been a pretty good night thus far.”

He pauses taking a bite of his pie and looking at Magnus from underneath his thick dark lashes. “Plus, you know, you’re pretty good company as well,” he says tapping his fork to his lips.

Magnus slow blinks at him and smiles.

“You’re pretty good company as well, especially when you’re just being you, like right now, not the overstated bad boy, even if he is a good time,” Magnus says. He reaches out his empty fork and boops Alec on the nose with it, just because. Alec scrunches up his face adorably at the action.

“Well I like you being you too, though it’s kind of fun you’re playing into my whole act, most people just play the none the wiser partner,” Alec says before leaning down and drinking another glug of his coffee. He makes the same cute displeased face again as he swallows.

“Really? No one’s made it seem like you’ve turned them into a crazy bad boy too?” Magnus says surprised. He’s been having a pretty good time being a little more instigative around his father than he usually would be.

Alec shakes his head. “Not really, Dot tackling her family members was a bit of an outlier, and honestly they’re almost never guys.”

“So I’m your first fake boyfriend then, huh?” Magnus says oddly flattered about the possibility.

“Second actually, but still most of the time I get hired by women, there’s a comfort in knowing that your fake date won’t try to make a move,” Alec says taking the last bite of his sickeningly sweet pecan pie.

“I guess I didn’t have a problem with that prospect,” Magnus says smiling around his fork looking right into Alec’s pretty hazel eyes, all dark rimmed and intent on him.

“I guess you didn’t,” he says with a smile putting his empty plate and mug on a passing tray and leaning back comfortably.

Magnus joins him leaning over by one of the sprawling windows casually finishing off his pie looking up to see one of his father’s political friends, a 30 something councilman of some sort, staring at them nearby. Alec, the little devil, winks at him slow and seductive. The councilman bristles and his wife beside him gives Alec an evil stare.

Magnus laughs a little, thinking that’s it for that interaction when suddenly the click of heels approaches them.

“Did you just wink at my husband?” the woman all but screams at Alec causing him to jump up from his slouch against the windows. Her head shakes as she speaks, her clip-on earrings wobbling.

“I,” Alec starts, but she doesn’t let him get in a word before she’s tossing her glass of white wine right at him.

“Oh, shit,” he says surprised and laughing a bit as he scrubs at his face his already messy eyeliner getting even messier in the process.

“Listen, lady I had no intention, your husband was the one staring,” he shouts back sounding a little more drunk than he did at the dinner table, they weren’t planning on Alec picking a fight tonight, but it seems he’s rolling with the one presented to him.

“Why you little, you little-“ she basically shrieks her husband pulling at her arm trying to stop her from taking this any further. Magnus steps in in front of Alec, a stern look of shutting shit down that he learned from his father on his face.

“You will want to watch your next words very carefully, wouldn’t want your husband’s constituents hearing any bigoted language coming from his already,” Magnus pauses surveying her bejeweled dress that looks like she’s going to a bad 80’s themed prom. “Tacky wife.”

She looks angrier at that, but Magnus’ stern look seems to usher her away, allowing her husband to pull her from the room.

The room is dead silent all eyes on them.

“Alright,” Asmodeus’ voice booms, everyone turning his way. “Show’s over, nightcaps will be served by the barkeep in the library shortly why don’t you all head in there,” he says gesturing to the way of the library. He steps over to Magnus and Alec as does Marissa who instantly hands Alec a towel.

“She’s always been a stick in the mud with bad taste,” Marissa says showing her own dislike for the councilman’s wife. “You didn’t do a thing wrong.” She smiles at them both apologetically before linking her arm in Alec’s and pulling him the way of everyone else. Magnus moves to follow, but is stopped by a hand on his chest from Asmodeus.

“We need to talk,” he says leaving no room for argument. Alec looks back at him from where Marissa is still chattering happily to him, a clear question of if he needs to cause a scene to stay with Magnus in his eyes. Magnus waves him on, watching as they go.

He barely waits until Alec and Marissa are out of ear shot to start in on Magnus.

“I know he’s faking it,” Asmodeus says and that is not what Magnus was expecting. He plays dumb though raising his eyebrows in question.

“Don’t act like you don’t what I’m talking about, I’d venture to say from the looks you two share you know all about it as well. You just brought him here and put on this whole show to embarrass me,” Asmodeus continues with a disappointed sigh. “That man hasn’t had a drop of liquor tonight, every action he’s taken hasn’t been some alcohol fueled mistake it’s been purposeful. He’s probably the most sober person here tonight. As far as I’d guess aside from truly being the black sheep of his family name and that truly atrocious car nothing that’s happened here tonight has been real.”

And alright, yeah Magnus definitely wasn’t expecting this. He expected his father to rail on his choice of partner, to knock Alec’s character and behavior and maybe Magnus’ to boot as well. He didn’t expect him to know exactly what’s been going on all night.

“And before you ask how I figured it out, you really should have made sure your date kept better track of his finished glasses, after dinner he left one behind and it didn’t smell of the vodka we’ve all been convinced he’s been downing all night,” Asmodeus explains. “From there a quick search told me the name was at least true. His family really did cut him out judging from his complete disappearance from all events, not that I can blame them, anyone who behaves this atrociously without influence of alcohol just to play a game probably deserves to be cut off.”

Magnus huffs out an unamused laugh at the underlying implications of his statement.

“Is that a threat?” Magnus says steely eyed.

“It could be, if you don’t get him out of here right this instant and promise to never try anything even close to similar to this charade again,” Asmodeus says just as steely eyed and Magnus hates that he learned the look from him.

For a moment he considers just leaving, hightailing it out of there with Alec and not saying a single other word to his father, but he’s tired. He’s 30 and he’s been putting up with his father’s vague threats if he doesn’t play the good little son role since before he could talk practically and he’s just done.

“No, we won’t be leaving,” Magnus says holding his ground. “And as for this charade well I guess I can promise you nothing like this will ever happen again, because I’m done. I’m done playing some perfectly crafted son that I’m not, I’m done acting like we’re a happy little family, like you won’t get bored of poor, sweet Marissa in no time and there’ll be a new wife on your arm who you’ll pay just as little attention to.”

“You’re right, I did do this to embarrass you, to show those fucking fakes in there that you are the fakest amongst them, even more so than all of them combined. Alec may have been playing a role tonight, but he’s ten times more real than you could ever dream to be. Don’t worry about having to cut me off and making a whole big show of it, I haven’t needed you or your money in years,” Magnus says. He straightens out his shirt and stands with his head held high turning on his heel to join Alec in the library.

***

Magnus is frankly riding high on truly stepping up to his father for the first and likely last time in his life when he saunters into the library scanning around to find Alec. He spots him in the corner chatting with Marissa.

“There you are,” Alec says sounding genuinely concerned. Magnus just smiles at him hoping it looks more assuring than it feels.

Marissa reaches out patting him on the cheek lightly. “Don’t listen to whatever he said, he’s just jealous he’s not as outstanding as you,” she says with a smile.

Magnus is struck in that moment with how much his father doesn’t deserve her, she might be a lot to take sometimes, but she is a genuinely kind woman.

“Nor as outstanding as you,” Magnus says with a smile and she blushes at the compliment. He’s ready to follow that up by telling her that she should leave his father’s ass immediately before he gets the chance to toss her to the side, but someone calls out her name and she’s pulled away smiling at them as she goes.

“Ready for the grand finale?” Alec says as soon as Marissa steps away. The grand finale, right, Magnus and Alec had discussed giving one last show before they left for the night if they managed to make it all the way through dessert. And they have, everyone’s nursing nightcaps ready to exit for the evening, but clearly all lingering around to see if Alec does anything else embarrassing or outlandish before they go.

Mere moments ago Magnus was ready to just storm out of here with Alec at his side and maybe ask Alec if he fancied going on a real date for a late-night drink somewhere.

But now with his father storming into the room after him, glaring and judging, looking quite possibly the most upset he’s ever been with Magnus he can’t seem to find a reason to go just yet.

“Let’s do it,” he says and Alec smiles tossing back his water and acting as if there’s a nice vodka burn to it. He grabs a discarded fork from a table nearby and taps it on his now empty glass so hard that it chips just a bit earning everyone’s attention.

“Could I have everyone’s attention please,” he says sounding a little bit like he’s sobered up after the near fight with the councilman’s wife. Most of the room looks their way eagerly like they can’t wait to see what happens next, while a few others apprehensively turn their attention.

“I met this stunning man not all that long ago,” he says laying his hands lightly on Magnus’ shoulders. “But in that short time, I have realized that undisputedly there will never be another for me. From the moment we hooked up in the back of Cherry the night we met,” he says not elaborating at all on that sentence, earning the shocked gasps and confused looks of many. Marissa giggles, Asmodeus seethes not loving this new addition to their fake meet cute story even if he knows it’s all a ruse now. “I knew you were the one, so, Magnus Bane,” he continues on getting down on one knee he pulls the plain silver ring he’s been wearing all night on his middle finger off and presents it to Magnus. “Will you marry me?”

Magnus pretends to be shocked covering his mouth with a gasp. His eyes flit up to where his father stands, looking like he’s about to make some move to physically stop Magnus from answering Alec’s question, like he won’t survive the embarrassment of this room full of people knowing his sons engaged to a degenerate in messed up jeans even if he knows it’s not real. Magnus doesn’t give him the chance immediately looking down at Alec with glassy eyes.

“Yes, Alexander, yes,” he says no longer hiding his amused grin as Alec slips the ring on his finger and lifts up from the ground pulling Magnus into a crushing hug. The room claps tentatively, enthusiastically in Marissa’s case who it seems does not care how insane something is she just loves love. How she ever ended up married to his father, who only truly loves himself, his hardwood floors and his hair is a continual mystery.

“Wanna get the fuck out of here?” Magnus mumbles into Alec’s ear. Alec pulls back from their hug and nods enthusiastically.

“Do I have your permission to bridal carry you out of here?” Alec says lowly ensuring no one can hear him.

“Oh, hell yes,” Magnus says delightedly as Alec lifts him up and makes for the door.

“We’re gonna go celebrate in the back of Cherry again,” Alec announces proudly to the room as he goes. Magnus pats him on the shoulder guiding him to the coat closet where he quickly grabs their jackets, Alec never losing his grip on him.

Asmodeus shouts after them as they head out the door, Alec pausing at his car and planting Magnus down on the ground gently. He tugs at the door three times before it opens gesturing for Magnus to get in as he ignores his father’s bellowing shouts. Alec playfully salutes Asmodeus and slides over the hood of his car bumping into the Porsche beside him setting off it’s car alarm as he lands and slips into the driver’s seat quickly.

He starts the engine peeling out of the space just as Asmodeus reaches the front of the car. Magnus just blatantly ignores him only catching sight of Marissa standing in the door waving their way as they drive off.

***

The ride back is quiet for the first twenty minutes or so, music playing softly as Alec drives drumming his fingers along the steering wheel to the beat.

“My dad figured out you were faking it,” Magnus says with no preamble looking out the window as they go. The roads are mostly empty now people celebrating the holiday into the late hours with their families before waking up at 5 a.m. to Black Friday shop.

“Shit, there goes my Oscar,” Alec says eyes flashing to Magnus quickly with a laugh before focusing back on the road. Magnus chuckles in response.

“Well, it’s an honor just to be nominated,” Magnus smiles tilting his head towards Alec.

Alec snorts a little laugh then turns his head quickly to Magnus once again.

“Did your dad give you a lot of trouble about it?”

“He did, I don’t think I’ll be getting a Christmas invite after I railed back at him,” Magnus says. “But it’s okay. I think it was just a long time coming, bound to happen. Better to get it over with now before I wasted more years trying to seem like I’m something I’m not just to please him.”

Alec comes to a stop at a red light and turns his attention fully to Magnus.

“Are you okay? I mean shitty or not, having a parent cut ties isn’t easy, trust me I know,” he says. Magnus watches him enjoying the way the red of the stoplight cuts through his dark hair.

Magnus takes a deep breath and gives Alec a small assuring smile.

“I will be,” he says, truly meaning it. The fallout with his father is a lot, but he will be okay. He’s lived without his father being truly present in any form since the day his mother walked out on them, this new world where he’s likely all cut off isn’t anything new really. He’ll manage, hell he might even thrive without the chains of his father’s expectations weighing on him now.

The light turns green and they lapse back into comfortable silence for the rest of the ride, Magnus completely endeared as he listens to Alec mumbling the lyrics to every other song that comes on the radio under his breath.

When they pull up to the curb outside of Magnus’ house Alec steps out first ever the gentleman helping Magnus with the finicky passenger side door.

He holds out a hand helping Magnus out and smiles when he drops it shutting the door tight.

“Well, thank you for the free meal and the fun night of mischief,” Alec says leaning back against his Thunderbird. His eyeliner is a mess and there’s a faint dried spot along his white shirt stained from the wine incident, he looks beautiful under this streetlight and Magnus wants more night like this. Well maybe not exactly like this one, it’s been a bit of rollercoaster for him emotionally, but nights with Alec all the same.

“Go out with me,” he says not even framing it as a question. He knows Alec is interested too has seen it in the moments where he was just being himself and the appreciative glances he’s given Magnus all night that clearly weren’t just a part of the show he was putting on. And that doesn’t even cover their coffee the other day, the easy way they’d talked and just clicked right off the bat.

“For real, not a fake date or a bad boyfriend show, a real date,” Magnus clarifies when he notices Alec’s surprise.

“I’d like that a lot,” Alec says pushing off the car. He steps a little closer to Magnus leaving just a bit of distance for Magnus to clear if he wants. Magnus does want so he steps up not quite touching Alec, but close enough all he’d have to do is raise a hand. It feels almost like when they were in his father’s office tonight, but even better because they’re alone for real now, there’s no show and no chance of interruptions.

“I need the record to show that I literally never do this, not once, I haven’t even been interested, let alone made any sort of action to make something real out of one of these fake dates,” Alec says low and sincere keeping his eyes on Magnus’ the entire time making sure the words are clear. “You are entirely the exception.”

“Entirely exceptional, actually,” he adds on with a smile. Magnus smiles reaching out his hands to rest on Alec’s chest.

“So are you,” he says patting his hands twice where they rest. “And I believe you aren’t just doing this to pick up hot guys, no worries.” He says with a chuckle and Alec rolls his eyes.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” Alec asks.

“Nothing, no classes until next Tuesday and most of my friends are out of town for family dinners and what not. I’m as free as a bird,” he says blinking his eyes just a bit flirtatiously at Alec.

“Good, we should get dinner, no family, no bullshit, just us,” Alec says tentatively resting his hands on Magnus’ waist.

“I like the sound of that,” Magnus says lifting up to kiss Alec on the cheek softly just once before pulling back.

“I’ll text you with a time and place in the morning,” he says slowly stepping backwards holding Alec’s steady gaze as he goes. He turns just for a moment putting his key’s in the door and pushing it open before turning back. “Goodnight, Alexander.” He says and watches as Alec smiles a dazzling smile before rounding the car and opening the driver’s side door.

“Goodnight, Magnus,” he says before slipping into his car. Magnus watches with a smile as he pulls away from the curb, his bright red ridiculous Thunderbird speeding away. The smile doesn’t leave his face as he makes his way all the way up to his apartment, so much so that he’s pretty sure his cat is judging him all the way to bed.

***

One Year Later

Magnus’ phone buzzes insistently his ringtone blaring on the nightstand.

“Stop that,” he says weakly reaching out an arm to silence it, his hand falling to the nightstand and coming up empty once, twice, three times while it continues to ring. It’s far too loud and far too early on a holiday with no responsibilities for this.

A chuckle comes from above him and warmth reaches over brushing his fingers before gripping the phone and pulling back.

“Magnus Bane’s phone,” Alec answers his voice a little lower and rougher than usual from sleep. It’s a very nice sound. Magnus can’t hear who’s on the other end of the line, but when he flips over he sees Alec smile and perk up a bit leaning back against the headboard.

“Yeah it is Alec, it’s good to know you remember me, Marissa,” he says and Magnus raises an eyebrow he’s only heard from his father’s wife once since last Thanksgiving, an apologetic text on his father’s behalf. His father on the other hand hasn’t so much as sent a sternly worded email in that time.

“Yeah, he’s here, hold on sec,” Alec says, he lowers the phone offering it to Magnus who grumbles a bit lifting himself up and leaning against the headboard next to Alec.

“Hi, Marissa,” he says clearing his throat a bit.

“Magnus!” she shouts into his ear and he jumps back a bit, from the both the volume and from shock hearing that she’s finally dropped her terrible nickname for him. “I was glad to hear Alec answer the phone, I knew you two were a good match, even if it was all a show that night.”

“Ah,” Magnus says. “So father told you.”

“He did, but it doesn’t change that you two are the cutest,” she says. “Which speaking of your father,” she starts and Magnus is ready to shoot down any attempt at reuniting she’s trying to pull here. Marissa is a nice woman, but his father’s silence in the past year has spoken volumes, he’s not playing into a reconciliation he can’t even make the call for.

“I left him,” she says finishing her sentence. Magnus huffs out a little surprised laugh that Alec raises an eyebrow at, well good for her. “About a month ago and I know it’s incredibly short notice and you might have other plans, but I’m having a little Thanksgiving dinner of my own with a few friends this year and I’d love to see you. And Alec too, of course!”

Magnus smiles, they’d had a Friendsgiving slash one year anniversary celebration over the weekend with Raphael, Cat, Dot, Ragnor and Alec’s siblings, tonight’s plans were likely going to consist of Chinese takeout on the couch and making out. And while Marissa can be a lot she was always kind, and he can’t help but recall how supportive she’d been that night a year ago. He can’t find it in himself to turn down her offer because of it.

“We’d love to,” he says and Alec looks at him again in question. Magnus just waves a hand signaling he wait a moment for explanation. On the other end of the line Marissa claps excitedly.

“Yay!” she says. “I’ll text you my address, I’m in the city now so Alec might have to leave Cherry at home.”

Magnus laughs. “Oh, he might bring her anyways.”

He chats idly with Marissa for a few more minutes before disconnecting and promising they’ll be on much better behavior this year for dinner.

“Marissa left my father,” Magnus says as soon as he’s hung up and tossed his phone back on the nightstand. Alec smiles looking just as oddly proud for her as Magnus feels. “And we’re having Thanksgiving with her and some friends tonight.”

“Good for her,” he says flipping back the covers and getting out of bed. “Should I get out the eyeliner and torn up jeans for tonight just for old times’ sake, or no?”

He smirks standing gloriously naked in front of the dresser rustling through one of his drawers. His drawers. Magnus isn’t quite used to the lovely novelty of the fact that Alec lives with him now. It’s been about two months since they made it official and just seeing one of Alec’s crappy romance novels on the coffee table or his shitty leather jacket hanging in its permanent space in their closest still makes him feel all sorts of tingly.

Magnus hums in thought rising up from bed and moving to lean against the dresser beside Alec. He’d pay good money to get Alec to wear eyeliner more often frankly.

“I think you should bring both of those things out as often as you’d like,” he says reaching out a hand and cupping Alec’s cheek turning it towards him. The feel of Alec’s soft, shaven skin is something he also isn’t quite used to. For the first time in their year together he’d shaved off his beard entirely, completely out of the blue and for no other reason than he’d had a day off and was bored. He’s as handsome as ever, but Magnus had quite literally had to do a double take when he came home and saw Alec sitting on the couch.

“Do try and leave the illustrious tales of our sexual escapades at home this time though, darling,” he says with a smile. He’s mostly joking, but now that their sexual escapades are real and not fictionalized he’d like to keep them just between them.  

“Damn, well there goes all my dinner conversation topics,” Alec says with a wicked little smile.

“Menace,” Magnus says as he slides his hand down from Alec’s face to his chest with a shake of his head.

Magnus runs his fingers lightly through the hair on Alec’s chest stopping to rest on the stark black tattoo on his lower abdomen. And boy hadn’t it been a blissful discovery to see that ink when he finally got Alec’s shirt off for the first time. He trails his fingers over the shape of it lightly, knowing exactly what he’s doing.

“If you keep doing that we’ll never leave this room,” Alec says his lips tilting up in a little pleased smirk.

“Doing what?” Magnus says innocently still moving his fingers over the shape of the tattoo lightly.

“And you say I’m the menace,” Alec says leaning in to kiss him on the lips once hard and bruising. “We need to shower.” He says stepping away from Magnus. Magnus’s hand falls and he pouts laying it on a bit thick. Alec pointedly attempts to ignore it.

“Together?” Magnus says with a hopeful smile.

Alec rolls his eyes. “I feel like despite having literal hours to get ready we’ll end up late somehow if we do,” he says eyeing Magnus’ bare form appreciatively. “But there’s no way I can say no to that.”

Magnus smirks pushing himself off the dresser and right up against Alec.

“Damn straight,” he says before leaning in to lay a teasing, promising kiss on his lips.

“There is absolutely nothing straight about this,” Alec says with a toothy smile once he’s pulled back already tugging Magnus into the bathroom for their shower. Magnus laughs loud and bright as he’s dragged along.

***

Impossibly despite literal hours, Alec’s right, showering together does prolong the entire process of getting out of the apartment when showering becomes shower sex, which becomes another round on the bathroom counter which results in needing to shower again, separately this time much to both their dismays.

Eventually though, they’re dressed and ready. Magnus finishes up the last touches on his hair, adjusting the bright almost golden streak at the front of it which compliments the golden chained pattern of his shirt. He picks up the ring Alec fake proposed to him with last year and twists it onto his right-hand ringer finger with a smile. They obviously aren’t actually engaged, but increasingly lately Magnus finds himself thinking about making it real.

He gives himself one last once over in the mirror before stepping out of the bathroom to find Alec sitting cross legged on their bed and Magnus is nearly sent back in time to a year ago.

He’s wearing the jeans and boots just like he had that night, his eyeliner is in place a little less messy but still unpracticed and his hair is its usual tussled self. The shirt is almost the same, this time it’s one Magnus gave him with subtle lines of shiny black at the collar and cuffs, the little black loops in his ears are a gift from Magnus as well.

It’s a perfect combination of that first night when they were a fake couple out to cause mayhem and the couple they are now, a royal we couple that are so deep in love Magnus has to just take a few breaths in sometimes to remember this is all real.

“Ready to go?” Alec asks looking up at Magnus with a smile. Magnus nods as Alec stands throwing on his leather jacket with the hole in it he refuses to fix. Magnus follows suit grabbing his own jacket and following Alec out as he grabs his keys and wallet scratching the heads of both cats curled up on the back of the couch as he goes.

“We could take the subway you know?” Magnus says once they’re in the elevator, Alec twirling the keys to his Thunderbird around his finger.

Alec scrunches up his face adorably. “No way,” he says gesturing for Magnus to step out first when they reach the lobby. “Cherry helping us fight through Thanksgiving traffic is gonna be a lifelong tradition for us.”

Lifelong Magnus likes the sound of that, but he is dubious that Alec’s precious car will last anywhere near that long.

Alec rushes to the car parked proudly and loudly right in front of their building unlocking it and pulling four times on the passenger door before getting it open.

He smiles at Magnus gesturing with an overstated bow for him to get in and Magnus rolls his eyes but can’t seem to hide his smile and Alec knows it. He shuts the door once Magnus is in and in a move reminiscent of their escape from his father’s last year slides over the hood before slipping into his own seat and starting the car driving off to a much better Thanksgiving than the year before.

#my fic #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #malec fic

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Moriarty 8 - 11 (FINAL) | HypMic 12 - 13 (FINAL) | Taiso Samurai 7 - 9 | Akudama 9 - 12 (FINAL)

Hopefully I’ll be able to get on to all that backlog soon, because...I don’t want it to keep accumulating and Skate-Leading Stars (first winter 2021 anime) already has an advance 1st ep. up...

Moriarty 8

(Moriarty 8 notes deleted accidentally…)

Moriarty 9

If you want a modern equivalent to the Baker Street Irregulars, then I’d suggest you look this way *jabs finger at Odd Jobs Yamada (from HypMic)*.

These CGI background horse and carriages are…kind of distracting…

I’m guessing back in those days, the Irregulars were better than Google at finding info…because Google didn’t exist until the internet did.

Moriarty 10

Just this ep and one more until the end…at least, until spring 2021.

Wow, the use of colour here is really striking!

White lilies mean…purity/chastity…?

I’ve never heard of “bending someone’s ear” until now. It means to talk to someone, especially to ask a favour or to talk at length.

Probatio diabolica: the devil’s proof. I didn’t even know that was a concept until now…(I never once studied law, as you can tell.)

“William” isn’t normally shortened to “Liam”…It’s normally “Will”…also, notice all the footprints on the floor…

Moriarty 11 (FINAL)

Last ep. before spring 2021.

LOL, kabedon.

The fishy thing about Brits is that they’ve named things across the world names from Britain. I know there’s a Doncaster which isn’t anywhere near Britain, for one thing…

Observe the weird finger-like marking made by one of the bloodstains and the scratches on the suitcase. The latter was probably forced open.

Considering the number of signs the killer left, he was clearly in a hurry…

Well, based on that shoeprint we can find the killer if we can find traces of blood on his shoe.

“Duram” (sic).

Ah! If it was raining in Durham, then there would be traces of mud on the killer’s shoes. I remember early on in Detective Conan Shinichi, then newly shrunk, deduced Agasa was running in the rain based on the mud on his pants…this is similar.

Chloral (hydrate…?).

The “washroom” (apparently a Canadian term, the British term is “water closet”) has privacy and a place to get rid of the evidence, to some extent.

What about the rest of Eddie’s clothes?

Considering there are still 5 minutes of the ep. left…there’s going to be some kind of stinger for the next season. I can feel it.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait…Director Holmes??? Y’mean, Mycroft?! That is a good stinger! See you next time.

HypMic 12

“Ever since I was born, there was never a time I’d felt I’d accomplished something.” – Aw, Doppo, sweetpea (<- this blogger calls people “sweetpea” when they’re feeling lots of moe feels for them). Please don’t say that. You’ve accomplished more than enough in your life!

…Oh, almost didn’t notice it until Hifumi hid behind Doppo and the angle changed to confirm the jacket was on the bed, but Hifumi doesn’t have his jacket on.

I think I saw a tweet that said something about a wall being wrecked (specifically “Wall: Ow…”) but I wasn’t sure of the context, so I saved it in my bookmarks…LOL, so that’s what it means?

Samatoki, I know you don’t like Ichiro…but please stop trying to preach what his 2nd character song says in the title…(i.e. Break the Wall, LOL)

Jyuto’s very much a “I’ll leave this problem to the other guy” guy.

When the Funi subs say “dame”, I think Samatoki is just referring to an “onna” (woman). It’s a bit of an odd choice, really…although I can’t go and interrogate whoever was responsible for it. I don’t have the authority or the contacts that will allow me to.

This is not the time for fighting one another!!!

Notably, in the manga, Jakurai was going to chaffeur Hifumi and Doppo to their place, but then he had to go to work and so they rode the train with their prize money. This “run from Special Forces” ending is better, I think, since people got grumpy at Jakurai for having to abandon them with the money.

“…permission to cover a story.” - Permission from…who?

*screams* I was thinking Tom, Rex and Iris worked for a foreign government! They work for Ichijiku – why didn’t I think of that?!

LOL, I couldn’t even tell what Tom was saying until I played it back…it’s English, just…said in a spot where you don’t expect it.

“…that scares me.” – This may be nitpicky of me, but osoreru is actually a derivative of osore (fear), so “it strikes fear in me”…? “It strikes fear in my heart”? What would sound right…?

Go, host mode Hifumi! (...but does that imply host mode Hifumi is the only “version” of Hifumi able to rap? Certainly, he was able to do Wrap and Rap without his jacket, right…?)

You can tell Tom still respects Jakurai after all this time because he (the former) calls him (the latter) “Sensei”. Also, this’ll be interesting, we haven’t seen many mics and speakers beyond the standard bad guy ones (depicted in both the anime and the manga).

My gosh! All I knew of this song was that m-flo, also responsible for Human Lost’s theme song (and notably they’re a hip hop group with techno influences), was responsible for this song. Man, this s*** slaps! It’s great! (Sorry, I’ve just never really had the chance to capitalise on all the info I gathered on EDM DJs when talking in terms of things from Japan…m-flo is basically the only act I know which does that, so I’m really excited…can’t you tell from how verbose I’m getting in this note?)

That’s interesting that Matenrou won and Tom still took the gold chair symbolism to represent him and the Secret Aliens as the victor instead.

Iris’s parts are awesome. M-flo has a female vocalist and so I’d assume Iris takes on Lisa’s (m-flo’s vocalist’s) parts.

…Hmm, Gentaro’s made a reference to the track “Me Against the World”, has he?...Maybe.

I’m not quite sure, but I think Ramuda said “majo” (witch) when he was referring to Beauty and the Beast in the English subs.

…gosh, what is up with that airhorn…? Still, next time is the last time. See you on Christmas…no, Boxing Day.

HypMic 13 (FINAL)

This is the beginning of the end and the end of the beginning…y’know, considering how stuff trended on Twitter, I’d say this anime’s gonna get a 2nd season, but you can’t really say that until it actually happens. I mean, Boueibu is much less popular than HypMic and that got a 2nd season…

This is the 1st episode where I woke up early enough to watch without spoilers and had no obligations to place over it, so…this is exciting, in its own sense, but in a sense, it could also be called “profoundly disappointing” because this experience is only available to me as of the final episode.

One of the tweets I saw a few weeks back came to mind – someone became interested in sakuga houkai (terrible animation, literally “animation collapse”) because of HypMic…I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing…

…Dude, you probably shouldn’t answer a call from someone who just revealed themselves to be a traitor last episode…*sweatdrops*

(Spoiler for rest of franchise) Hmm…Dice’s face is pretty straight. Assuming at this point we knew Dice was Otome’s son, this is a good poker face from him…!

This thing about gangs was mentioned in their profiles (although the words used implies they “went delinquent”), so it actually doesn’t surprise me.

I wonder if this subway exists in the mainline story…?

According to the next ep. preview I saw on Twitter, TDD will reform to take down the Secret Aliens. I’m not sure if that was a guess or whether that’s true, so I’m waiting for the shoe to drop on it.

Samatoki-san, not -sama. Hmm…

There was definitely the word “team” in Dice’s line, so it’s “what the legendary team was made of”.

…oh gosh…they’re still using that airhorn…?

Again with the play on “lonely thunder”. It’s a really fun pun, but one I’d like to see in the rest of the series more.

Notably, Iris’s rap in English missed the word “charisma” where it could have fit (unless I missed reading it the first time).

Note Samatoki does actually use the word “shinsensa” (freshness), so there’s no lie there.

I still love how much they went in on Rex’s theme, even in his raps.

Huh, that’s new. Never seen a tag team like this before.

It seems Tom’s signature is using a lot of English, which makes it easy for us English/Japanese pair translators.

Saburo didn’t actually say “Ichi-nii”, did he…?

…based on the rock intro, this is Rhyme Anima, the OP, or something that sounds similar. What I’d need to confirm this is the “nautilus” line and the “ends corruption” line, which are the OP’s two biggest tells for AMQ.

“rainmaking” – Hmm, another link from Gentaro to Rei. This might be a different part of Rhyme Anima (OP) that wasn’t used as the OP proper.

“this white light invites and heals” (<- paraphrased) – Sounds like Sensei, alright!

…now that (rainbow bit). That’s sakuga!

*a silhouette appears* - Oh nooooooooooooooo! Now they‘ve done it! They’ve included Rei! That’s more than enough spoilers to last a lifetime for y’all anime-onlys!

I wish someone would work on this collaboration between Saburo and Riou…

Hmm…what is the series endgame? Putting in Dice as the new ruler??? I mean, Dice is the worst possible politician ever. He’s far too lax about things.

*Nemu enters* - No! Nemu!

Not only is Iris a “ramen shop owner”, it’s Tom’s favourite food…No wonder ramen has significance to her.

…ooh! A new song! Update: I don’t know what this song’s name is, although it probably will become clear what its name is on the 13th. I’ll keep my eye on Twitter in case the answer is there.

…I knew it was far too early to say if there was an s2 – the DVD’s live events go until September 5th and the 2nd DRB finishes in March. That almost felt like a stinger right there. Oh well, I’m more than happy to call this anime a success, even if I would call it the worst of the arms of the franchise. All HypMic’s anime had to do was deliver fun, before anything else, and it delivered on that front. See you around!

Taiso Samurai 7

Anime burnout means I’m coming back to the anime after the day it finishes.

This dancing scene is kind of like the one at the start of ep. 2 of IWGP, except it has the owl to represent the setting as well as the dance stage.

Leo doesn’t seem to know kanji or katakana, only hiragana.

Even though this part of the anime is set in London, the characters are still speaking Japanese (lel…?).

LOL, Edward Scissorhands much?

LOL, these background gossips are like the Plastics from Mean Girls…haha.

…LOL, that’s not one of those dismounting moves, is it? It’s just kind of…jumping off the bar.

Lookit how Leo’s sticker is 90 deg. sideways from what it should be, haha.

I don’t think it’s true that Olympic gymnasts have never failed. Like other people at the top of their game, they’re probably failed millions of times, but only outside the view of most of the world. Persistence and passion are what’s key to becoming the best at what you are, no matter what field you’re in.

Now Aragaki’s what I call a “determinator” (see TV Tropes on what that is).

Taiso Samurai 8

Notably, the word used for “clothes” is specifically for Western clothing, like dresses.

Well, now we know why Leo can do those stretches…

They’ve clearly sped up the dance here, but…it’s basically the same sort of movements Yuri on Ice used to suck me in. I’m here for it!

Leo seems to be the type who tries to push away his worries by distracting people (including himself) with other things…I see. I didn’t have much of a grasp of his character beforehand.

Britney! F*** you, Britney!

Ah, that must be the (a?) fabled owl of Ikebukuro. I’ve never actually been to Ikebukuro…the closest I got was Akihabara (to memory) and even then, that was for electronics, not anime…so I’ve never seen the owl statue I’ve been talking about close up.

Rei does kind of look like her mother like this.

Ah! Rei and Kitty have a pair look now! “Twinsies”, they call it.

Amakusa’s head is located right next to Leo’s butt, so I end up staring at it…LOL.

The Hoover mission.

“I <3 Ninja”, LOL.

LOL, “Nyapoo!”

*sighs* The problem with being multi-talented is that you’re going to be told to one day put one passion above the others, even if you don’t want that.

LOL, you can be a ninja with this WikiHow article. (I was looking for Kitty’s quote, but found that instead. It seems to be a quote from one of Tomoyo’s movies.) Update: I was right.

There’s a movie in the back where the title is “Black Rainmaker”. (Tomoyo, I presume) Mifune is the 1st person credited.

Considering this is 2003…you won’t be on Mars in 2013, Kitty.

Wow, a tape! That brings me back to 2003, indeed.

Charlie’s Angels…so that’s what the tape was.

LOL, a shoebill.

“blade in your heart” – That would refer to the character for “ninja”, which has a blade over a heart. Y’know Kiss Shot Acerola Heart-Under-Blade (from Monogatari), yeah? Like that.

…you might think emails were out of place in 2003, but a virus from an email caused me to be an avid reader and that virus was unleashed around the late 90s – early 2000s.

LOL, Kitty’s cat belt buckle.

You said it, Rei. You said it.

Taiso Samurai 9

Lausanne, Switzerland.

I noticed one of the boxes at the start of the OP says “Horizontal Bars”, rather than some random name to make the boxes look like they were discarded.

Someone encoded the video funny…

LOL, BB’s getting possessive of his territory.

Fuku-chan the fukurou (owl) in Ikebukuro…LOL.

LOL, randomly there’s a skeleton with a hat in the background of Britney’s clinic.

Notably, one of the wall hangings says “heart” on it – alternatively, “soul”.

Notably, Atlanta was the 1996 Summer Olympics…there is no 1997 Lausanne Olympics, as far as I know.

Akudama 9

I watched the part where it glitches twice and I can’t quite figure out what that circular symbol is…maybe it’s Hacker’s symbol…?

Ah! Only now they properly confirm Swindler used to work in the Seal centre.

“Life that never dies is defective.” – Doctor

Does that mean Doctor is actually older than she looks, due to plastic surgery…?

Marker? What marker?

Apparently that flower is a cherry blossom…according to Detective Conan.

…I know this anime wasn’t made in America (it wouldn’t be “anime” otherwise), but Anime Feminist is going to have a field day with this one…if they haven’t abandoned it already due to their idea of morals.

…now I can even see parallels between HypMic’s authorities and Akudama’s. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

“Why did this have to happen when I’m chief?” – Sounds like…basically every authority during COVID and BLM, to be honest.

See? Akudama likes the S word. I told you.

I haven’t watched The Shining, but reading the synopsis, you can figure out why Cutthroat is the way he is…sort of.

How does the iconic quote go? “Heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Danny!” (or something…?)

They even copied the iconic eye shot! There you go!

Way to take a guy out (with the door, LOL).

…with all this killing, I can see why Akudama Drive was only in one magazine now. (Then again, HypMic was in basically all of them and that also has a tonne of problems…)

Akudama 10

万死 literally means “10000 deaths”.

Babel.

That police chief is such a mood, LOL.

I can see why people didn’t recognise Swindler, but Courier never changes his look, so…uh…

You can’t become a police chief without a sense of justice, no?

“Since when did you know that I’m not-“ - *facepalms*

Is this what they call an “ass-kickin’ Christmas”? (LOL)

Y’know, Sister, you could just do the whole “wherever you are, I’m also seeing the same sky as you” thing some other anime do.

Notably, there are shide (the paper strips) and a rope over the vault…they really do treat the shinkansen and its immortal children as a single god, huh?

Hmm? They don’t care about Sister anymore? Just Brother? (Somewhere along the way, the priorities must have shifted.)

In the end, the best ship is Brawler and Hoodlum (lel).

Akudama 11

One more ep after this. I’m gonna miss this anime, even if it was crazy over-the-top and I didn’t finish it until after the day it ended.

I think the scariest scene in all of Akudama Drive is the one where the “cleaner” tosses the girl aside.

“This nowhere place!” – Around this time, the bunny and shark’s shirts say “morning”/”afternoon” (shark) and “evening” (bunny).

The blue bird of happiness…literally. That character on the birds is the one for “happy”.

…LOL, that one glitched Courier looks more like Cutthroat.

Hacker’s drone matches Courier’s head angles, LOL.

I guess if you think you’re falling in Kanto, you’re falling in Kanto and if you think you’re floating (like Courier did), you float. I always liked that concept.

War Games. Now the title makes sense!

…but they can be together if they stay here in Kanto as vessels for the citizens? (That sounds mighty antagonistic of me, but…that logic does compute.)

Maybe swindlers play games with the truth…? (What an interesting concept.)

“Just fine.” – I think Hacker needs a “This is fine” meme.

“We can hear your heart talking.” – It means something like “We can hear you spouting your true intentions.”

“…worth every last penny…” – That’s a weird thing to say for someone whose life got changed by 500 yen…Just goes to tell you how American the subbers can be sometimes.

Swindler’s smug face is so good, LOL.

Akudama 12 (FINAL)

This episode isn’t named after a movie. It’s named after the anime itself.

The TV says “Please watch away from the TV”, i.e. stand back from the TV while you watch.

“They came and stole the offerings…” – At this point, bunny’s shirt says “freedom” and shark’s says honpou, meaning “wild, uninhibited, rampant, extravagant”.

…where did Shikoku come from? Is that where Swindler and Sister landed after they tried going to the moon?

Ohh! That Christian imagery! That’s scary!

Is Akudama Drive a tragedy? No, I think…on the contrary, it’s a story of hope.

LOL, “s*** guy”.

I thought the girl had a bomb. Turns out she has a gun, which is…far worse, come to think of it.

Instead of red characters which say things about the situation, now Shark and Bunny have Hacker’s symbol on them.

There’s no way anyone who wasn’t immortal would survive the attack Courier took…

…why is it that falling over represents vulnerability in children in all of these stores where a war has happened and/or there’s a chase? Hmm?

Wow, Sister did everything with heels on…?!

Anyways, that was a fun time. See you next time!

#simulcast commentary #akudama drive #Chesarka watches Akudama Drive #taiso samurai #Gymnastics Samurai #HypMic #Hypnosis Mic #Hypnosis Mic: Division Rap Battle - Rhyme Anima #moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #Chesarka watches Yuukoku no Moriarty #Chesarka watches HypMic #Chesarka watches Taiso Samurai

[randomoranges]

salut là, here’s another soft xmas fic with a song title. hey do you know what is my fav xmas trope? it will be evident after reading this fic hahaha.

song is from Kenny Loggins Celebrate me Home 

I Believe I’ve Missed Each and Every Face (Home for the Holidays)

 Étienne sighed, melodramatic, and flopped over on his back on the living room sofa. He glared at the Christmas tree branch that hung over him and crossed his arms over his chest. This was the first year he was spending Christmas without his partner and he was – feeling it. Ever since they’d started dating, he and Edward had spent the holidays together. At first, it had been since Edward couldn’t fly back home and so Étienne had invited him along and afterwards, once their relationship had grown serious, they had alternated; one year with Étienne’s family, the following with Edward’s and so on. It worked. It was perfect. He enjoyed the compromise.

 Until this year.

 Sure, he had once upon a time spent the holidays without Edward, but he liked being with his partner during the festivities. This had been going on for nearly a decade and he just – wanted to have Edward next to him on Christmas morning and kiss him silly at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve. Sue him.

 He missed him something fierce.

 He pouted.

 The worst was – it shouldn’t have even happened, but there had been a last minute emergency, Edward had been called in to work a conference at the other end of the universe and there just wasn’t enough time, or money, for him to fly back home for two days and then jet back out. Étienne had thought of joining him, but funds were a little tight at the moment and he had his own work obligations that would just make it a bigger headache than necessary.

 Therefore, they were celebrating apart. For the first time ever. And it was terrible and horrible and unfair.

 He felt bad for Edward who would be spending the holidays, alone, in a foreign place, even if his partner had assured him that it would be fine and that they could video chat at some point. It wasn’t the same.

 Therefore, two days before Christmas, Étienne had headed north to crash at his brother’s place where the rest of the family would be congregating to celebrate the holidays. He could mope all he wanted, could give out a hand with the preparations, and he could flood Edward’s inbox with increasingly wistful messages.

 He had no idea when he’d become such a sap, but he no longer cared.

 Étienne was counting down the minutes until his niece and nephew would be done with their naps so that he could at least pass the time with them, since he’d been kicked off kitchen duty for now and the laundry had been taken care of ages ago, when the doorbell rang.

 “Oh, can you get the door please, Étienne? That must be Jacques back from his errands,” Suzette asked him from the laundry room where she was loading up the next batch.

 Étienne rose from the couch, one long slouch of limbs and dragged himself to the front door. He unlocked it, braced himself for the gust of cold win, and opened it up.

 And then closed it shut again.

 For the briefest of moments, he was convinced he’d hallucinated Edward standing on the front steps of his brother’s house. But he knew that wasn’t possible, since Edward was miles and miles away for work related reasons. In fact, he had a conference today. They were going to talk about it later on.

 The doorbell rang again.

 “Étienne? Door please.” Suzette called out to him again.

 Étienne steadied himself with a deep breath and then slowly opened the door, peering first to steal a peek. He heard his brother laugh and then say something to someone else – maybe he was on his phone, but then he recognised the other figure – the one he’d seen before. He recognised his partner’s coat and his Oilers hat. He would know that figure – that stature anywhere.

 He just – couldn’t understand.

 Étienne threw open the door, cold be damned and stared in disbelief at Edward A. Murphy who stood on his brother’s front porch, grinning like a loon from ear to ear.

 “Hey there, gorgeous,” Edward had the audacity to tell him as he took a careful step closer.

 Étienne blinked.

 And blinked.

 And blinked again.

 “Eddy?” He asked to be sure this was real and not some poor attempt at wishful thinking from his brain. He hated how small his voice sounded or how it cracked a little towards the end, but Edward offered him a kind and gentle smile, before he stepped closer to him, an arm’s length away.

 “Hi, sweetheart,” He said, softer this time, before he closed the distance between them.

 Étienne proceeded to fling himself into his partner’s arms and hugged him as tightly and as closely as possible. It was him. Edward was here. He wasn’t sure how, but Edward – his darling Edward was here. It wasn’t a dream.

 “Eddy,” He breathed, furrowing his face in his partner’s chest. It was amazing how much better he suddenly felt, how elated he felt knowing that Edward was here. “Missed you,” He added, before he cupped Edward’s cold cheeks with his already cold hands to get a proper look at him. He sighed in relief at familiar, kind hazel eyes and perfect lips he could never tire of kissing. It was his Edward with his infamous Oilers hat and scarf wrapped loosely around his neck. His heart felt full to bursting knowing that he was here with him now.

 “Missed you more,” Edward added. They shared a private smile, before Étienne kissed him nice and slow, glad he had the chance to do so and already planning to catch up on all the kisses he had been deprived of in the past few days.

 “I don’t understand how you’re here,” Étienne said when they pulled away. He didn’t dare step out of his shared embrace, even if it was cold and his ankles were now blocks of ice, but he felt that if he moved, this illusion would fade away.

 “Your brother picked me up at the airport.”

 Étienne then remembered that his brother had been outside and looked in his direction, asking him for clarification.

 “Let’s get inside and Ed can explain.” Jacques offered and before Étienne could protest, Edward had let him go and was leading him back inside.

 The moment they were all in and the door was once more closed and locked, Jacques gave them some space while Étienne wasted no time and proceeded to kiss every inch of Edward’s face, making Edward laugh and squirm. He wanted to steal Edward away and hold him close for days on end, but they could do that later, he convinced himself, even if he still indulged some more, rejoicing in the sound of Edward’s laughter.

 “I thought you wanted answers,” Edward said once Étienne had let him go long enough for him to remove his jacket, before he snuggled up back into his arms.

 “I do, but this is very nice as well.” Étienne looked up to Edward and smiled softly at him. This was, honestly, one of the many things that made him truly happy and he was content to be in Edward’s arms for a moment longer, simply to be held.

 “You’re ridiculous,” Edward told him, fond and amused, before he kissed him again, and Étienne melted just a little bit more on the inside as he went pliant under Edward’s soft caresses.

 “I know,” He murmured, moments later, as he drank in the sight of Edward and then hugged him closer for good measure, “So, how did you manage to get here?” He asked, caressing Edward’s face, trying to get his fill of Edward as best as he could, his fingers dancing from his rosy cheeks down to his shoulders and then back to trace his brows. Edward let him, used to this, and frankly not minding one bit.

 “It’s a long story, but – there was never a second set of conferences. The last one was last night and I caught the red eye out to catch a connecting flight to Montreal and then a jumper out here. I ran the whole thing with Jacques and Suzie and now, here I am,” He grinned at Étienne, pleased as punch with his little devilish plan, “Surprise.”

 “You absolute mad man – I can’t believe you pulled this off.”

 “Was worth it, though. Your face was worth it – getting to be here with you is worth it.” He murmured to him, soft and sweet and Étienne had to, so he pulled Edward down for another kiss, letting it linger as he wrapped his arms around Edward’s shoulders.

 When they parted, Étienne ducked his head, his cheeks burning and instead he contented himself with keeping a hold on Edward, “I’m glad you’re here,” He added once his brain had caught up with what had happened and he’d found his voice again.

 “Wouldn’t have been the same without you,” Edward added with all the sincerity of the world and it did something funny to Étienne’s insides.

 Étienne had never thought he could have this – that he could be this happy and yet – he had somehow managed to find Edward. He got to have Edward and Edward was here – with him. He spared Edward a glance and was rewarded with one of those soft smiles he had missed so much and could right almost every wrong in his world. This, he decided, was going to be the best holiday ever.

 FIN

#pc: montreal #pc: edmonton #pc: trois-rivières #pc: shawinigan #étienne maisonneuve #edward murphy #suzette tba #jacques laviolette #fic #au #xmas fic bonanza 2020

[introvertguide]

The French Connection (1971); AFI #93

The current movie under review  is one of the biggest award winning police action dramas ever created, The French Connection (1971). The film was nominated for 8 Academy Awards and won 5 Oscars in 1972 for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor (Gene Hackman), Best Screenplay, and Best Editing. The story also includes Roy Scheider prior to his Jaws fame as a buddy sidekick. In fact, this movie was part of a string of great “buddy” movies that included In the Heat of the Night (1967), Midnight Cowboy (1969), Butch Cassidy NS the Sundance Kid (1969), The Sting (1973), and All the President’s Men (1976). The French Connection has a lot of interesting Americana connections that I want to discuss, but first let’s go over the plot. Of course that means the usual:

SPOILER ALERT!!! LEGITAMATELY!!! A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW THE GENERAL STORY AND PROBABLY THE PLOT OUTLINE WITHOUT EVER SEEING THE FILM!!! CHECK OUT THE FILM FIRST AND THEN COME BACK TO AVOID SPOILER DETAILS!!!

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The movie starts in France where an undercover detective is following a heroine smuggler named Alain Charnier (Fernando Rey). This detective is then followed home by Charnier's hitman, Pierre Nicoli (Marcel Bozzuffi), and is assassinated. Charnier plans to smuggle $32 million worth of heroin into the United States by hiding it in the car of his unsuspecting friend, television personality Henri Devereaux, who is traveling to New York City by ship.

Flash to New York City, where we see detectives Jimmy "Popeye" Doyle (Gene Hackman) and Buddy "Cloudy" Russo are staking out a club trying to nab a perp. They get a tip that some low level mobsters are part of a deal to sell a bunch of French heroin to gangs in America. Out at the Copacabana, Popeye notices Salvatore "Sal" Boca and his young wife, Angie, entertaining mobsters involved in narcotics. They tail the couple and establish a link between the Bocas and lawyer Joel Weinstock, who is part of the narcotics underworld.

Popeye goes to a bar that seems to serve only black patrons and shakes down everybody there. He secretly has an informant in the group and learns that a massive shipment of heroin will arrive in the next two weeks. The detectives convince their supervisor to wiretap the Bocas' phones. Popeye and Cloudy are joined by federal agents Mulderig and Klein, both of whom Popeye is not a fan of.

The drug car arrives in New York City. Boca is impatient to make the purchase—reflecting Charnier's desire to return to France as soon as possible—while Weinstock, with more experience in smuggling, urges patience, knowing Boca's phone is tapped and that they are being investigated.

Charnier realizes he is being observed. He "makes" Popeye and escapes on a departing subway shuttle. To avoid being tailed, he has Boca meet him in Washington D.C., where Boca asks for a delay to avoid the police. Charnier, however, wants to conclude the deal quickly. On the flight back to New York City, Nicoli offers to kill Popeye, but Charnier objects, knowing that Popeye would be replaced by another policeman. Nicoli insists, however, saying they will be back in France before a replacement is assigned.

Soon after, Nicoli attempts to shoot Popeye but misses and hits an innocent bystander instead. Popeye chases Nicoli up on a roof and eventually onto an elevated train that Nicoli makes and Popeye does not. Popeye commandeers a car and races to the next stop while barely avoiding traffic. Realizing he is being pursued, Nicoli works his way forward through the carriages, shoots a policeman who tries to intervene, and hijacks the motorman at gunpoint, forcing him to drive straight through the next station, also shooting the train conductor. The motorman passes out and they are just about to slam into a stationary train when an emergency trackside brake engages, hurling the assassin against a glass window. Popeye arrives to see the killer descending from the platform in an attempt to escape. When the killer sees Popeye, he turns to run but is shot dead by Popeye.

Popeye and Cloudy have a lengthy stakeout of the car that connects all the mobsters and has the opportunity to impound it when some gangsters see it and attempt to strip it. He and his team take it apart searching for the drugs, but come up empty-handed. Cloudy notes that the vehicle's shipping weight is 120 pounds over its listed manufacturer's weight. They remove the rocker panels and discover the heroin concealed therein. The police restore the car to its original condition and return it to Devereaux, who delivers the Lincoln Continental to Charnier.

Charnier drives to an old factory on Wards Island to meet Weinstock and deliver the drugs. After Charnier has the rocker panels removed, Weinstock's chemist tests one of the bags and confirms its quality. Charnier removes the drugs and hides the money, concealing it beneath the rocker panels of another car purchased at an auction of junk cars, which he will take back to France. Charnier and Sal drive off in the Lincoln, but hit a roadblock with a large contingent of police led by Popeye. The police chase the Lincoln back to the factory, where Boca is killed during a shootout while most of the other criminals surrender.

Charnier escapes into the warehouse with Popeye and Cloudy in pursuit. Popeye sees a shadowy figure in the distance and opens fire a split-second after shouting a warning, killing one of the feds, Mulderig, that he had been partnered with. Undaunted, Popeye tells Cloudy that he will get Charnier. After reloading his gun, Popeye runs into another room and a single gunshot is heard.

Title cards note that Weinstock was indicted but his case dismissed for "lack of proper evidence"; Angie Boca received a suspended sentence for an unspecified misdemeanor; Lou Boca received a reduced sentence; Devereaux served four years in a federal penitentiary for conspiracy; and Charnier was never caught. Popeye and Cloudy were transferred out of the narcotics division and reassigned.

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So this film has some of the most well known scenes in cinema history and I say this because they are copied a lot. The first scene when Popeye and Cloudy are on a stakeout, Popeye is disguised as Santa and receives a knife wound in his hand. This came back years later in Hot Fuzz! when Simon Pegg, as a police officer, was stabbed through the hand by a man dressed as Santa. In the Jackie Chan film Rush Hour, Chris Tucker goes into a bar pretending to shake down the group when he actually knows the group and jokingly asks his informant questions. 

Maybe one of the biggest aspects of the realism of the movie that director Friedkin insisted upon, was that the two cops that Popeye and Cloudy were based upon were in the movie. Jimmy Doyle was based on a cop named Eddie Egan and Buddy Rosso was based upon his partner Sonny Grosso. Egan and Grosso broke up the actual French Connection back in 1951. A book by Robin Moore that shares the name of the movie details the bust and this is what the movie was based on. For extra realism, the two real cops played the chief and one of the feds. Well, I say promote realism although Friedkin did not like the book and didn’t follow it as closely as he claims. There was no chase or shootout in the book. That was all there for drama.

The ending title cards were very interesting because it reminds the audience that 1) Friedkin cut his teeth with documentaries 2) the movie wasn’t going to show the whole seven month drug bust and 3) all the bad guys got away or got slaps on the wrist and the two cops were transferred out. This was a huge bust that didn’t really work out (although it stopped the trafficking) allowing the mobsters to escape and putting a stop to two careers. It is what I like most, however, because I don’t want to see a realistic movie in which the only interesting scenes are the ones that are not based on any facts. 

So should this movie be on the AFI list? Yes. It was the basis for gritty TV cop shows like The Streets of San Francisco and Starsky & Hutch. It has one of the greatest car chase scenes in cinema history. It won many awards and is known by those who haven’t seen the film. It is definitely AFI material. Would I recommend it? Well...not to kids. It has a ton of overt racism that is pretty uncomfortable to watch as well as some pretty terrible police work. The two cops were on set and they were OK with this? The film claims to be based on a real bust and the only cinematic parts of interest were made up. These white cops keep going into black bars and knocking everyone around but just chase after the French guys. White men are all detectives and assassins and mob bosses while anyone of color are just props to be knocked around to move the plot along. I would watch it again as a piece of cinema history and it is a progenitor of the 70s cop dramas, but I wouldn’t show it to my students because I don’t want them to think that it is OK for the police to rough up any number of black people as long as it might bring information about a mob boss. It is a good story with a bad message that needs some maturity to recognize the faults.

#the french connection #gene hackman #william friedkin #afi movies #car chase #action film #police drama #70s #introvert #introverts #movie review #film critique

[theseuss-ship]

Heaven

Homecoming is this weekend. The losers were planning on going in a group. But they still wanted dates. Ben asked Beverly a while back. He was scared that someone else would ask her before he could.

Stan and Bill were going with each other. They were quietly dating. As if, you weren’t sure if they were dating but they had announced their relationship.

Eddie’s mom would murder him if he had a date, so he didn’t bother. But Richie wanted to bother. He just didn’t know how.

Richie and Eddie have been hanging out a lot recently. Richie’s parents were never home, so he always asked Eddie to come over. He loved Eddie’s company. He couldn’t stand being alone and Eddie made it a lot easier.

One night at Richie’s house, Eddie came in looking very pissed off. “God, my mom is such a total pain in the ass. I can’t stand it anymore.” Eddie ranted. He sat on Richie’s bed, still rambling.

Richie was staring at Eddie. He didn’t want to stay inside tonight. And some walking would probably good for Eddie. “Let’s go somewhere.” Richie says.

“What? Are you even listening?” Eddie asks.

No. Richie gets up from his position on the bed and reaches his hand out to Eddie. “Yes. But I think a walk on a night like this would be good. C’mon I know a place.”

Eddie blinks. “Richie, I swear to god if you try to murder me-” Richie laughs heartily at him.

“Calm down. It’s just boring in here!” Richie waggles his hand.

“Fine,” Eddie grabs Richie’s hand. “But I don’t want to be out long. It’s cold.”

Richie picks up two jackets off his floor. He gives the comfier one to Eddie. “Now you have nothing to bitch about.” Richie sticks his tongue out.

Eddie follows his best friend to a small playground. It looks as if it hasn’t been used in a while. Like it was a hot spot for young kids long ago, but it lost its charm. Eddie smiles. “I should’ve known you would take me to a playground.”

Richie chuckles. “I like coming here to distract myself.” He sits on an old swing.

“Is this sanitary?” Eddie inspects the swings. They’re rusted and used. The chains creak with a slight push.

“I’m still alive so, yes.” Richie says sarcastically. “Just sit. You’ll be fine.” He pats the swing next to him.

Eddie sits down on the seat. There’s a breeze that makes him shiver. Involuntarily, Eddie huddles into Richie’s huge jacket. He has one foot on the ground and is swaying more than swinging. Richie clears his throat to catch Eddie’s gaze.

“So,” Richie starts. “I was thinking about homecoming. It’s coming up soon.” Richie is clearly nervous. His attention on the dirt beneath him. “And I know we both don’t have like, dates. So, ha, can I take you to homecoming? As your date. As a date. Yeah.” Richie doesn’t dare look up at Eddie.

But Eddie didn’t dare take his eyes off of Richie. “Richie,” Eddie’s voice was barely audible. “I’d really like to go to homecoming with your dumbass.”

Richie looks up at Eddie. “Wait really? You don’t think it’s weird? Because like..” Richie gestures between Eddie and himself.

"If I didn't feel like it was okay, I wouldn't say yes. I want to go with you, Rich." Eddie smiles warmly at Richie. And Richie feels like he's melting.

"Wow. This is not what I expected." Richie sucks on his teeth. "Well, okay maybe I was prepared for a yes. Would you want to come hang out at my place after homecoming? Just to chill. Because I always feel so crowded during homecoming. No time or space to connect or bond."

Eddie leans back in the swing to think. "Ma would never let me." He sighs.

"Spaghetti, just tell her homecoming ends at 12." Richie says.

Yeah.

"Alright. Bet." Eddie says. He laughs at his own response.

-

It's the night of homecoming. Richie and Eddie are so excited. Eddie has prepared for everything. He can not leave anything behind that he may need in an event like this. The germs.

There's just one thing that Eddie shoved to the back of his mind. That fucking slow dance. He knows it's going to happen. So what's he going to do with Richie?

Eddie knows what he wants. Richie owes him that dance. But he's terrified of people seeing. He doesn't want to be labeled as a "fag" again. It was just dying down.

Eddie was dressed up in his very special Sunday clothes. It was a salmon tuxedo with a red bowtie. His mother was fawning over how cute he is and taking more pictures than a child could count.

Eddie's mom was touching his face and making sure he looked perfect. According to Richie, he always did. Eddie swatted her hands away. "Mommy, I'm going to be late. Let's go."

"Alright. But just a few more pictures." She snapped some more and Eddie tried not to scream at her. She grabbed the keys and left for the dance.

When they arrived, Eddie's mom kept asking him if he had all of his meds. He didn't know how many times she asked the question. "Okay so pick up at 12?" She asked.

"Yes. But I could maybe get a ride home with Stanley. That way you don't have to drive out." Eddie said.

Sonia frowned at this. "Okay. Make sure to be safe and have fun. Don't touch anyone. And no romance." She warned.

"Bye, mommy! I love you." Eddie leaned over to give her a kiss and then got out of the car. Eddie had texted Richie to meet him in the lobby. He took a deep breath and went through the venue's entrance.

There he was. Looking around nervously for his date. For once, Richie's hair doesn't look like a rat's shit house. It's still curly, but a comb has run through it. He looks oddly nice. His tuxedo isn't buttoned at all. His tie hangs around his neck, untied. The tuxedo itself is slightly wrinkled. The black tuxedo obviously hasn't been used in quite a while.

Eddie almost couldn't stand looking at him. He couldn't believe that this was his date. He loved it.

Richie caught sight of Eddie and raced up to him. "M'lady." He said. Richie extended his arm to Eddie. Eddie wrapped his arm in Richie's and pushed up the oversized glasses Richie wore.

"I hate you." Is the only thing Eddie could say.

They dropped arms once they went into the main event area. The music was loud. You could already smell the body odor and perfume mixing in the air. The crowd by the speakers was humongous.

Right away, they spotted the losers in the area towards the seats. "Look at these babes! Wow! So you can look attractive, Richie." Bev exclaims.

Richie laughs at her. "I'm sorry if I embarrass you because my looks are superior."

"Shut up, Tozier." Eddie says.

The night goes on. Random pop songs from the radio come on. The losers are dancing along with some of the songs. Mike surprises the group with some moves he had up his sleeve. Everything is perfect. Richie and Eddie keep sharing longing glances at each other throughout the night.

Then, the dreadful part came around. A slow song that's probably trending on the radio. Immediately, the air in the room changed. Couples got together to dance. Ben and Beverly paired up to dance. Bill and Stan even paired. But then there was Richie and Eddie.

They made direct eye contact with each other. Both of the boys visibly froze up. Richie is the first one to do anything. He comes in close to Eddie's ear. "I'm sorry, Eds." Richie whispered. That's how Eddie knew Richie shared the same fears he had. They were too scared of what others would say if they had been spotted.

Richie gestured over to the chairs so they wouldn't have to stand awkwardly. Eddie followed him to the area. When they sat down, Eddie felt okay. He wasn't upset. He knew it was going to happen. "It's okay, Richie." Eddie said. He gave a genuine smile to Richie.

Richie let out a breath he wasn't holding in. He leaned back to get more comfortable in the small chair.

The homecoming dance ended. The losers were saying their goodbyes to each other. They all had such a fun time. They didn't say much because they were tired and probably just going to talk over group chat.

Richie's house was close enough from the venue to walk. Along the way, Richie and Eddie had their usual mindless conversations. They got to Richie's house and made home in his bed. “Was it just me or was the music terrible?” Richie says. He turns on his speakers.

Eddie chuckles. "It was really bad. Like really fucking bad." Eddie lies down on Richie's bed. He felt like his ears were ringing. The music was so loud and it shook his whole body.

“Good. Because my music taste is way better.” Richie smirks. He turns on a playlist he made in Spotify. He titled it “vibe check!” The first song to come on is Let It Happen by Tame Impala.

Richie sits on the bed next to Eddie. Eddie stares up at the ceiling, letting the song go through him. He finds himself humming along to the song.

“Thanks for coming with me tonight.” Richie murmurs. Eddie almost doesn’t notice Richie’s words.

“It was fun.” Eddie says back. The atmosphere was weird. There was a strange silence between the boys. The music provided a weird background for them to rest. Yet, they were both comfortable.

The song changes. The Night We Met by Lord Huron sounds through the speakers. Eddie feels the bed shift next to him. Richie’s footsteps were soft. Eddie sits up.

Like the night Richie had taken Eddie to the playground, Richie had his arm extended with his hand open to Eddie. “This is a dancing song. Don’t you think?” Richie says.

Eddie smiled. “I’m going to check that out.” He places his hand in Richie’s. Richie helps pull Eddie from the bed.

They had no clue how to actually dance. Their hands were placed weirdly on each other’s sides. Eddie moved his hand that was not captured by Richie’s to his shoulder. Richie shifted his hand on Eddie’s waist to a better position.

Richie rested his forehead against Eddie’s and shut his eyes. He couldn’t help himself from smiling. Eddie looks at Richie’s face. It was unbelievably close. They shared breaths. Eddie found himself wanting to be even closer. Every nerve in his body was on fire. Is this safe? Should I be feeling like this? Eddie thought. But he didn’t care.

Without even thinking about it, he met Richie’s chapped lips. Eddie had never been so aware, yet lost all in one moment. But it was a good lost. Like his mind was gone and he was content with it.

Eddie took in every detail. The way Richie was so apprehensive until he was sure Eddie did want it. It was a first kiss for both of them. It felt much better than in daydreams. It felt real.

Eddie felt his stomach twist and form into a pit. If you had asked Eddie what that pit was, he would surely say appendicitis. However, it was clearly love.

Richie pulled away and stared at Eddie. “You’re better at kissing than your mom.” Richie jokes.

“I literally hate you.” Eddie laughs. They’re still holding each other and dancing. Eddie didn’t want to let go.

“I know.” Richie says. His smile was big. Richie felt like this was heaven. He had no other explanation for it.

So the both of them decided that it was heaven. Their dance would forever be the heaven that only the two of them would share. A wordless love.

#please go easy on me i am babey #i dont write very often #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it richie #it eddie #it2017 #it2019 #it2movie #it chapter two #reddie fanfic #it au #finn wolfhard #jack grazer #bill hader #james ransone #fluff

[dreadwhoop]

Reviewing the All Elite Wrestling personnel (Part 3)

Part 0 - https://dreadwhoop.tumblr.com/post/631091725056835584/reviewing-the-all-elite-wrestling-personnel-part Part 1 - https://dreadwhoop.tumblr.com/post/631092482075148288/reviewing-the-all-elite-wrestling-personnel-part Part 2 - https://dreadwhoop.tumblr.com/post/631093769659416576/reviewing-the-all-elite-wrestling-personnel-part

Tag Wrestlers to get Singles Run -

Remember FTR recently put in rules about facing them in tag-team matches? Essentially this rule is added whereby when FTR beats a team in "A Brush With Greatness" they can no longer be a team until a year has passed. The idea is one dismantled team would then reunite, better from their singles run, and finally defeat FTR. This also allows AEW to make new break-out stars instead of being seen as nothing but a tag-team promotion with everything else tacked on.

Do me a favour - search up 'pro wrestlers' on google. Most, if not all, are WWE guys. The first one who is an AEW talent after Jericho but before Cody and Kenny comes up? Dustin Rhodes. We're about to celebrate 30 years of Chris Jericho as a mainstay in wrestling. Funny - where was Dustin's 30th? A guy many wrote off, including myself, is now better than ever. A World Champion run, even if short, would be long overdue. If not maybe Nick Aldis would be kind enough. Was for Cody.

Here's a guy who is getting the shaft for absolutely zero reason other than the fact he's not someone else. Yeah I'm talking about Scorpio Sky - people think Scorpio Sky is some amazing talent, some future AEW World Champion, when I don't see it. I even considered Scorpio Sky for Release until I realise he's not truly bad it's just he's not Kazarian. He's crisp, solid, and good all-round. He's not a terrible promo either - so what's lacking? He's the real deal.

A diamond in the rough which needs to be carefully extracted from Private Party. Isiah Kassidy isn't all too bad but his inexperience to understand ring psychology will hurt him and Marq Quen has proven he has all the tools to go along. The real question is when to break them up? Is Marq Quen really ready? I think there's been evidence in singles, even a TNT Title shot, he's definately capable of getting the chance to elevate. A rising star people seem to be sleeping on.

Ah Santana. He's a bit like D'Lo Brown - mired in midcard because he's too selfless to accept his own stardom and convinces there's enough for him to be happy where he is. Maybe Santana has a chip on his shoulder and its name is Ortiz. Santana can do a lot more and people can take him seriously. There's a story they can play regarding the break-up of the Inner Circle and if anyone should feud with his former allies it's Santana. Make him babyface and give him the push.

There's an ongoing story with The Dark Order and how it seems Evil Uno and Mr. Brodie Lee are taking different perspectives on the goals of this faction. I think it'd make more sense for Stu Grayson to be fed up with the weakness of all of them and go alone to prove if the strongest are to survive then he will be the strongest - a man who challenges the big guys in AEW and isn't shortchanged by the experience either - a lot better than people give credit.

I've been awaiting this one so let me indulge. Part of the reason I started this entire list was for Trent but I had to weigh up his matches and situation. He had a great 19 min contest against Kenny Omega which confirmed just how good he really is but it was the parking lot brawl which cemented it in the eyes of everyone. Let's be very clear - he bled for the match. His partner Chuck Taylor wouldn't and in fact if it was just Santana Vs Trent it would of made for a better match overall. Trent must be frustrated how Orange Cassidy has elevated himself as he languishes in a tag-team designed to make him look effeminate. I remember years ago him and Brian Cage were prospects. What happened? Best Friends happened. The double-cross needs to happen. Heel Trent and give him back the Beretta between his legs. Look up Roppongi Vice. Does Trent really have to leave AEW and go back to NJPW too? Trent needs to go singles RIGHT NOW.

Didn't expect this right? I said before I can't get rid of them in AEW so I'll do the most logical thing - break them up. But why Nick and not Matt? Because Nick is the one who has a brighter future pure and simple - Matt is a egomaniac who is pulling his brother and the whole division into a circus of acrobatics and gymnastics. He keeps things from turning into mainstream appeal and caters to a cult of fanboys. Nick has proven, with Rey Fenix, to be very astute in this high-flying style without coming off as pretentiously choreographed and remains competitive rather than a forgone conclusion. Nick's good. Matt wouldn't understand how to do what's best for business which is why he's got to dedicate to never putting others over, not even his own brother, and it's killing the business oh wait they wrote about this har har very good. Nick can be something.

I've soured a bit on Jungle Boy. When he was facing MJF it's beautiful chemistry between the two - a classic face vs heel formula. His by-the-numbers tag matches with the Jurassic Express? Pitiful. He does an overtly flamboyant arm drag, slaps to the chest, dives, more of this high-flying, and ends up being the 'Wild Buck' not his own person. He needs to slow it down, pace himself, and make every move meaningful - and he has to find those answers on his own.

The Hybrid 2 have been a disasterous tag team despite their obvious talent. It's evident them breaking up would be good for both of them so I elect they both get the singles push, maybe against each other, but definately against anyone who can keep up with them which is few and far between. Jack Evans has been doing this longer than most, 20 years in fact, and yet he gets so little respect. He's sometimes sloppy but hey it works. Imagine his insanity with Eddie Kingston...

The Hybrid 2 have...oh wait deja-vu. Angelico is unique as he's a submission specialist. It works - it's the most contrasting style to a high-flyer - a technician (or técnico if you feel fancy) and he's also from the glory days of Lucha Underground where he made the most incredible dives. I think he's special enough - this is what Orange Cassidy WISHES he could be. Let's wrap this one up on a high note and nobody gets higher than Angelico.

#AEW #all elite wrestling #Personal Opinion

[thelazyeye]

Author Appreciation Day!!

Fanfiction is a truly wonderful experience. I am so lucky to not only be involved in writing, but to get the explicit experience of being able to read what authors share with the world. Every story comes from somewhere inside of an author. Even when they’re silly or fun or seemingly ridiculous, an author has taken the time to write it from inside of themselves. We should ALWAYS appreciate them. Today is just something special to really be loud about it. These are some of my all time favorite fics and authors. Please, read and enjoy. 

(I’m not going to hunt down people’s tumblrs if they’re not listed in the fics so if you know who’s blog wrote any of these and they’re not tagged, please feel free to let me know and I will 100% kindly tag them!)

In The Wrong Place, Trying To Make It Right by pininawig (this is the very first Reddie fic I ever read. It got me into the fandom. I have a deep appreciation for it and I reread it all the time. Please go love this story).

"Richie wasn’t sure how the fuck he’d managed to forget Eddie Kaspbrak. Like, now that he’s got Eddie’s hand in his (his remaining hand, Richie’s traitorous mind reminds him cruelly, and he avoids looking at the hospital gown lying flat against the bed where an arm should be) he remembers everything." Or, 27 years later, Eddie makes it out of the sewers alive.

Tear It With Your Teeth by Belby 

"We could leave this place, Eddie," Richie says. "God, imagine that? Not having to live in this trash dump anymore. We could go wherever we wanted. A different place every night."

Give The Past A Slip by brodayhey

On his way to a live show for his popular podcast, Richie stumbles into a person from his past. He remembers.

Remember (It Kills Me To See You Without Me) by Kandakicksass

Richie Tozier falls in love with Eddie Kaspbrak, forgets him, and finds him again, over the course of twenty-seven years.

The Purge by leighwrites / @aizeninlefox​

In 2014, following an economic collapse and rising social unrest, a political organisation named NFFA (New Founding Fathers of America) formed and overthrew the Government, becoming voted into office. In 2016 the NFFA devised a plan to help stabilise the American society and then in 2017 the 28th Amendment was added. The amendment established a twelve hour event called the purge which would start at seven in the evening of March 21st to seven in the morning of March 22nd where all crime was made legal and emergency services were unreachable.

Stay For The Storm by inoubliable / @hanscom​

Richie and Eddie had become friends almost on sight. Since they met, most of Eddie's time in Los Angeles has involved Richie in some way. It's a little different, now that they're both famous. It's a little different, now that they're sleeping together. Well, to be fair, they've been sleeping together for a long time, but. No one knows, not even their friends. Eddie has been very careful about that. It's just not the sort of publicity he needs. So when Beverly calls him that sunny Thursday morning, the last thing he expects her to say is, "You're fucking Richie?"

5555 by weepies / @finnwolfhard​ 

“I am not harmless,” Eddie had said, his eyes thundering—a challenge. “I could ruin your life.”

“I dare you,” Richie had replied, a smug smile on his face.

This is where I leave you (sitting in a palace, covered in gold inside my head) by Enj0ltaiRe

Going blind wasn’t something that Richie had ever even took into consideration. He had joked about it, thinking that having to wear glasses was close enough to being blind, complaining about the fact that there were people that could see for free, while he had to pay for contacts and specs, but he had never actually thought about the possibility of losing his eyesight.

Blackbird by michelllejones 

“Ho-ly fuck,” Richie whispers, and Eddie has never been so fucking scared. Not when he saw the leper, not when he confronted his mother about his pills, not when they fought It in the sewers. Never. Eddie screws his eyes shut and clutches at the material of his jeans. Please be too high to notice, please be too high to notice, please be too high to notice “Eddie?”

Scene Stealer by mseg_21 / @jem-carstairs-is-perfection

“Oh god, oh god, oh god.” Eddie muttered under his breath, staring wide eyed as the man sat up. “You’re a serial killer, aren’t you? You- you lured me in, with the blood and the- the screams and now you’re going to kill me-” The man just kept on laughing, convincing Eddie more and more that he was a psychopath and that Eddie’s good heart was about to get him murdered. “I’m not going to kill you.” The man said, still laughing. “Hurt me? Kidnap me?” Eddie asked. The man shook his head in response to Eddie’s questions. “No?” The man chuckled. “Definitely not. Why would I want to hurt the cute nurse that came to my rescue?”

Richie and Eddie Were Here by andthewasp

Eddie Kaspbrak is leaving for college tomorrow. He's leaving his best friend, Richie, and the park where they grew up, behind; but he has things to do first. Eddie and Richie embark on one final adventure in an attempt to pick up the pieces they've left strewn throughout their little hometown before they part ways, and end up finding even more.

Grow Through The Dirt by tinyarmedtrex / @tinyarmedtrex​

Mike owns a small flower shop next to a tattoo parlor. He's never been interested in tattoos, but he may be interested in one of the owners, Stan.

I Will Make You Hurt by theonlytraveler / @tozierking​

Eddie has struggled with school the past couple years, and his last year of high school is already off to a bad start. His mom hires him a tutor from the nearby University and things seem like they might start looking up. But when Eddie's tutor takes an interest in him, everything starts to fall apart, and Eddie is forced into a situation he never even imagined.

A Memory Of Love by stellarbisexual / @stellarbisexual​

Richie and Eddie, who haven't seen each other since they were kids, get cast as the lead couple in an indie film.

Into The Dark by nb_richie (shipit)

Richie and Stan have seen and dealt with a lot of cases in the years they’ve been working together, from cults to cartels. A case in Derry, Maine, proves to be one of the most horrific for them and for the two local officers they’ll be working with. And on top of it all, Richie keeps remembering things he’d rather forget.

Hit Me Baby One More Time by richttps @richardtoz​

As a child, Eddie always dreamt of becoming a doctor but things don’t always go as planned - especially when you’re still sleeping with a stuffed animal. At twenty-four, he still deals with his fair share of people passing out and crying underneath a needle, but not medically. Instead, he spent his years in college exploring the world of art and went on to work as a tattoo artist in his own shop. In a way, the two are very similar, at least that’s what he tells himself when a newly legal teenager tells him that they’re so grateful that he’d tattooed the word ‘bitch’ on the inside of their lip. His last appointment for the night is especially different.

A Playlist For The End Of The World by gyngersnap / @redactedrichie​

It's been a year since the zombie outbreak started, and Eddie and Richie are all that's left of the Loser's club. Eddie's not sure if he can handle it anymore, but Richie's convinced almost anything can be fixed with a little music, an abandoned mall, and a whole lot of terrible dance moves.

Scorpion Grasses by PimpedOutGreenEars

“Tell everyone… Tell everyone I’ll miss them. And Eds, tell him… Just promise to call him Eds for me every once in a while. So he won’t forget me.”

On his last night in Derry Richie shares a bottle of red wine with Beverly. He makes promises to send letters he knows he won't remember to write, cries a lot, and then ends it with the boy he loves who's just dumb enough to love him back.

Love Your Body Right by richietoaster / @richietoaster​

Eddie's arm is broken and he enlists the help of his best friend to get off. Richie has a better idea.

A Long Way Back To The Light by slytherincosette / @tozierhargreeves​

For Eddie, senior year is supposed to be an under-the-radar kind of year. He's been avoiding all of his friends for months and his mental health has been steadily declining. Why rock the boat and make everything worse? His plans consist of getting into the local community college (easy) and avoiding Richie, the worst sort-of-ex-boyfriend ever (considerably harder.) Then Bill drags him to a stupid party, and Eddie's plans are thrown through a loop. Suddenly, "under-the-radar" seems like a cop-out. Eddie decides, once and for all, to stop settling for decent, for alright, for enough. Eddie's going to take his life back if it fucking kills him.

Baby, I’m Counting On You by PuddingTown / @tozierpunks​

Alternately titled: My babysitter's a rockstar. When Richie Tozier breezes back into his hometown of Derry, Maine, he’s expecting to see familiar faces. Of course, he’s not expecting to see an old flame chasing around a baby. With a million questions, nowhere to go, and a help wanted ad for a nannying job, he finds himself at the doorstep of Eddie Kaspbrak.

My Eyes Only by chucknovak / @wonderwheelzier​

Eddie accidentally finds Richie's nudes because Richie doesn't understand Snapchat.

Meet Me In The Graveyard by Oldguybones / @oldguybones​

After almost five years apart, the Losers club reunites to spend the weekend together at Mike’s lakeside cabin. Armed with booze and total solitude, the gang plans to make up for lost time and catch up with those who were once the most important people of their youths. Tensions fly as lost love is rekindled and friendships are divided. But they soon begin to realize that they are not alone. Someone or something is out for blood and will not rest until they get it. What will the Losers do?

Richie The Ruiner by RanjantheVictor

It takes Richie Tozier a while to realize, but eventually he does. Richie ruins everything, no matter how much he tries not to.

This is BY FAR not a comprehensive list, nor are they ranked in order. I love a lot of pieces and a lot of authors and if I were to combine them all into one post you’d never see your dash board again. This is, however, some of my all time favorites. Some of these fics hold very special places in my heart. Some of these fics shaped me into the writer I am today. Some of these fics are the reason I am here and writing. I love them dearly. I love these authors. Go love them, please. Lord knows they ALL deserve it. 

#Em posts #reddie #richie #eddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #fic rec #Stan Uris #Mike Hanlon #Stanlon #Stan #Mike

[redshirtgal]

“Space Seed” is one of the few episodes where Sulu is not manning the helm as usual. In his place is Lt. Singh who appears to be every bit as grim-faced as his colleague, Navigator Lt. Hadley. He appears to be every bit as competent as Sulu is as well. It is Lt. Spinelli Kirk orders to lock on the unidentified earth vessel with the tractor beam.

But Lt. Spinelli has a more social side too. Look at this guy, sidling up to Miss Uhura and finagling a way to sit beside her at the dinner in honor of their new “guest,” who just happens to be named Khan Noonien Singh. No relation, of course. And we know what else happens... Khan and his “supermen” take over, the Captain is thrown in a decompression chamber while Spock, McCoy, Scotty, Spinelli, etc. are forced to watch... but then McGivers frees Kirk, who in turn rescues Spock before he is thrown to the same fate, yadda yadda. But then, you get this great shot....

“Hey, they MADE me eat those beans, Spinelli!”

Tsk, tsk Doctor.  No wonder Kirk was going to give Spinelli (among others) a commendation before he passed out. He knew Bones had brought his famous Kentucky bourbon beans to the table. But all ends well, although after this incident Lt. Spinelli evidently asks for a transfer since we no longer see him after this episode. There’s only so much an officer should be made to endure.  However, we soon learn that Spinelli has a cousin from India who works down in the Auxiliary Control Room.

You can tell Lt. Singh is related to Lt. Spinelli - they both have that very intense look/scowl when either something is wrong or when concentration is needed. In “The Changeling” Lt. Singh doesn’t appear to be that thrilled when Captain Kirk leaves Nomad in his care.

That stare gets REALLY intense as Nomad starts to move around the Auxiliary Control Room. I mean, look at that crease going from one eyebrow over to the other via that deep crease across the nose. Now that’s some kind of scowl he’s got going on there.

Then Singh comes mighty close to getting a Nomad probe... just kidding. Actually, Nomad has just activated itself and Lt. Singh, as requested by his captain, asks it what it needs.  But later, when he realizes Nomad is headed in Uhura’s direction, he decides to call Captain Kirk.  At least his facial muscles seem to have relaxed. He’s not going to meet the same fate that some of his redshirt buddies will endure later in the episode.

But let’s back up... just who was this actor with the smoking hot stare and that razor sharp jawline? His birth name is Makee Kalaikinipeapal Blaisdell , but he was known by multiple variations of that name. Memory Alpha has him listed as Blaisdel Makee. Yet he also appeared under Makee K. Blaisdel, Blaizdel MaKee, Blaisdel McKee, and 6 other similar credits.  And as you may have guessed, he was a native Hawaiian. As the newspaper story above indicates, he graduated from Brigham Young University with a major in theater arts. Before that, he was a star athlete in high school as well as a swimmer and a surfer. But it seemed to take Makee Blaisdell a while to find steady work in acting. Glancing again at the newspaper article, we can see he was working as a salesperson while acting both in community theater and on television.

One of Blaisdell’s first television roles was that of Sgt. Alika in Hawaiian Eye. He appeared in several episodes before moving onto roles on other shows such as I Spy and Star Trek. But sadly, he seemed to be often cast as either a Native American or an Hispanic, such as in the role of Romeo Sangria in the Ironside episode titled “The Sacrifice” or as the soldier seen above at the checkpoint in the pilot episode of Mission Impossible. 

Hey, his buddy from “Space Seed,” Eddie Paskey shows up in this episode too. It’s one of the few acting roles Eddie ever had outside of Star Trek.

But does this guy ever smile?  Actually, you get the best Makee Blaisdell smiles ever in the following production.

Blaisdell did have one outstanding although not well known film role - that of Johnny Lingo in the short film (23 minutes)  of the same name. Financed by the Church of the Latter Day Saints (of which Makee and many Hawaiians are members), it tells the story of a successful trader who also happened to be a highly sought after bachelor and a quite handsome one at that (who oddly also has an intense stare). One day he shows up at the hut of a poor farmer named Moki to bargain over how many cows he will offer in exchange for Moki’s daughter Mahanna. The villagers are amazed because everyone knows....

And that’s Moki saying that about his own daughter. So the villagers begin to debate just how many cows (or how few) Johnny will wind up paying. Because everyone knows he is a shrewd bargainer. The top price for a bride appears to be around about...

And then her friend just has to mention that her husband paid five for her. Oops. But that does establish the top price. Anyway, Moki is concerned he may be lucky to get one cow. And then Johnny Lingo arrives. The villagers all gather outside the tent while Johnny and Moki go inside to bargain. Moki opens with three cows and Johnny counters with...

Whoa... it turns out Johnny Lingo has been in love with Mahana since they were children and is not about to let anyone think she is not worthy, despite what they see when they look at her. So how well does this work out? Pretty well, actually. Before the couple left on their honeymoon, Johnny had ordered a rather ornate hand mirror for a wedding gift which the local trading post owner had to special order. When word spreads that the Lingos have returned, the merchant decides to bring the mirror to their hut. Johnny is quite pleased with the mirror and calls for his wife to come greet their guest. The merchant turns around and .... surprise!

Mahna has been transformed into quite a beauty. Or maybe she was actually a beauty and no one else saw it. This is the end result of Johnny Lingo being willing to build up her self-esteem by treating her as if she were beautiful all along despite what everyone else sees. As terribly dated and possibly culturally insensitive as this movie would be seen today, it does teach a good lesson in a charming way. And Makee Blaisdell turns in a very nice performance as the lead character. If you care to watch it, here is the YouTube link. https://youtu.be/pfahoLfrddU The movie has been remade into a feature length film with a slightly less offensive story but film critics still seem to think the original gets to the point a lot more clearly. And if you bother to look up the new version, its lead is nowhere close to being as handsome as Blaisdell. Plus FINALLY - we get to see that beautiful smile is its fully glory. Unfortunately, this was his crowning achievement in the movies. He managed to land the lead in one last movie based on the Charlie Manson cult murders.

(Poster courtesy of Duffy Films Limited) Many movies tried to cash in on the La Bianca/Tate murders committed by Charles Manson and his followers. The Cult is a soft porn version of the events with Makee Blaisdell (credited as Blaisdell Makee) as Invar who was plainly meant to represent Charles Manson. One third of the movie is devoted to Ivor picking up girls to be part of his family. The few bits of originality in the plot are 1) besides knives, the girls employ whips and medieval torture devices in the murders and 2) while the murders are going on, Ivor is lying inside a coffin in a hearse outside in the driveway and 3) Charlie...er, Invar.. is the way he is because of an earlier incestuous relationship with his mother . Yeah, it’s that bad.

The film is known by a host of other names, including the misleading title The Manson Massacres. Other names included The Love Cult and The Together Girls. It’s known in Germany as Töchter des Satans (Daughters of Satan). Oddly, the only way you can find this gem today is as a German dubbed version with no English subtitles. Yeah, it’s that bad. If you want to see how bad, be my guest.  https://youtu.be/aFXiSEI5B6o By the way, take a good look at the above publicity photo. That’s Makee Blaisdell as Ivor on the left, but do you recognize the only other male in this photo? That’s Sean Kenney who played both the disfigured Captain Pike in the two part episode “The Menagerie” and navigator/helmsman Lt. DePaul.

Unfortunately, this seems to have been the end of the road for Makee’s career in the film industry. It’s likely he continued acting in local community theater but there does not seem to be much on him after his last film in 1971. According to several sources he died in Ventura, California at the young age of 57 in 1988. No information can be found on a cause of death.

Two final interesting pieces of Star Trek trivia.  First, a piece of background to Makee’s role as Spinelli in “The Changeling.” This episode was taped before the appearance of Chekov. Makee had heard George Takei would be gone for many weeks during the taping of his part in The Green Beret. This led him to believe perhaps he might be hired as Takei’s replacement during that period of time since he had already filled the navigator’s chair before in “Space Seed.”Sadly, he found out that was not meant to be. Walter Koenig was waiting in the wings to appear as Chekov in the next episode to be filmed, “The Apple.” But that didn’t mean Blaisdel had not made a good impression on the production team. Several sources say that Makee was one of the people along with  Lawrence Montaigne who was considered as a replacement for Leonard Nimoy in case Nimoy made good on his threat to leave after the second season. And take a look at those faces above. Could even Mr. Spock sustain a stare that intense?

#Star Trek TOS #Singh #Spinelli #Makee Blaisdell #Blaisell Makee

[reddielibrary]

Smorboll

prompt: Eddie having trouble looking for furniture at Ikea and Richie works there

written by: Amelia | @tinyarmedtrex

word count: 2437

*click title to read on AO3

“No Bev, I’ll be fine. I just need a new bed.” Eddie said, stepping onto the escalator.  “How hard can it be?” He turned to glare as he was jostled from behind. “No I didn’t look before, why would I need to do that?” He asked as he rode the escalator. He tried to read her silence but then the displays came into view and he understood. “Holy fuck. Bev, there are whole rooms here.” He paused as his friend laughed. “Yes I know you told me but I didn’t believe you. It sounded insane.” He looked around, starting to quietly freak out.  He tried to keep his voice even as he asked, “Bev, what do I do? How do I do this?” He stepped off the escalator, moving aside for others, and looked around with no small amount of horror on his face. Bev just cackled and told him he was on his own, then hung up.

Eddie gulped.  This was what Ikea was like? He had heard that it could be overwhelming but he had expected it to be like any other store, with some display models and lots of empty space. He now understood why Bev told him not to go on a Saturday. He knew it would be busy but this, this was pure chaos. There were families all over, trying to wrangle kids, teens who looked like they were just there to hang out, older couples stopped in the middle of the aisle. The disorganization and pandemonium terrified him and he felt his chest tighten as people filtered past him, jostling him.

Breathe, He told himself, trying to hold off the panic attack he felt coming. Just breathe. Maybe he could just leave and come back another day, he thought as he watched a child rub their chocolate-stained hands over a white dresser. Maybe a Monday morning. When none of these people would be here.

Eddie had decided he would do that when the panic started to rise again- how the hell did you leave this place? He couldn’t see an exit. The escalator only went up. He felt trapped in this terrible consumer carnival.

He could feel his breaths coming in quick pants and wished he had his inhaler. He didn’t need it, he knew that but part of him still wanted to reach for it, to feel the cool medicine pump into his throat. It would calm him down.

No, he told himself sternly. Just take deep breaths and work out a solution. Just like Doctor Jones always tells you. It’s a crutch. He turned and closed his eyes, focusing on breathing and nothing else.

He yelped in surprise as a hand covered his shoulder and someone asked, “Hey there short stack, do you need some help?”

Eddie spun, ready to yell at them but was met by a friendly, goofy face. The hand belonged to a tall stranger with unruly red hair that clashed terribly with his yellow employee shirt.

“I’ll be fine, I just need to find the exit,” Eddie said, shrugging the hand off his shoulder. Other days he might be willing to talk to him but right now, he wanted to leave.

“But you just got here.” The man said. “You must be shopping for something, let me help you.”

“No thanks-” He read the name tag. “Richie. I’ll come back another day.”

“But what if I’m not here then and you miss out on getting to know your soulmate?”

Eddie scowled at that, running a hand through his blond hair. His panic was lessening as his annoyance level raised.  “Soulmate huh? That’s awfully presumptive of you, especially since you don’t even know my name.”

“I’ll learn it as we shop for a-” He paused, waiting for Eddie to fill in the gap. He spun his hand around, trying to get him to finish the sentence.

Eddie relented. “Bed.”

A grin spread across Richie’s face, “Oh, that’s fucking perfect. Okay, shorty, let me bed you.” He took Eddie’s hand and started walking.

“Don’t call me that, just because you’re a giant.” He said, feeling a flush spread on his face. He wasn't used to people casually touching him.

“What is your name then? Unless you want me to keep gracing you with adorable nicknames.”

“Eddie, I’m Eddie.” He said, realizing that they were weaving through the crowd at a breakneck pace. “Does every customer get this kind of treatment?”

Richie turned to look at him, shaking his head. “Only the cute ones,” He said, winking before turning back.

Eddie had to admit, he was impressed by Richie’s ability to bob and weave through the crowd, he seemed to know just where to step and when, avoiding collisions with couples and parents readying to send their teens to college. Once or twice, they stopped to answer questions, Richie directing people with ease and using both hands- while still holding Eddie’s- to gesture and explain things. It made Eddie laugh when Richie tried to explain how to find the kitchen section and he used Eddie’s hand to emphasize just how far off base the couple was.

When Richie wasn’t being stopped by customers he was firing questions at Eddie. “What kind of bed do you want?”

Eddie shrugged, “Something simple, I was thinking a black frame.”

“Black, sleek, sexy. I like it. But that’s not what I meant. What size? Are you looking for a king so you can spread out, or a full so you can cuddle with your boyfriend?” Richie paused abruptly, turning to look at Eddie.

Who nearly ran into him. “A queen. And, no boyfriend.” He wasn’t sure why he was telling Richie this but he wanted him to know, not just because he had helped stave off Eddie’s panic attack. Being with Richie was weirdly calming, he liked having someone guide him through the store and laughing with him at the store’s quirks.

“I’m very happy to hear that,” Richie said, giving him another quirky smile then gesturing in front of him. “Bed land my good sir.”

Eddie’s eyes widened, he hadn’t even realized they were here. “That's, a lot of options.” He said, staring at the variety of beds in front of him.

“That’s what we do,” Richie said, taking his hand back and planting his hands on his hips. “Now that we’re here, let’s talk about a few things. What kind of frame are you thinking? Sleek? Fancy? Cushioned? Do you want drawers?”

“I-” Eddie looked at the variety of frames again and starting to feel overwhelmed. “I have no idea.”

“We’ll test,” Richie said, gesturing to the first bed. “This baby is a Neiden.” Richie pointed to a simple bed frame with a small headboard. “Classic design, inexpensive.” He laid down and patted next to him.

Eddie reluctantly crawled beside him, trying not to think about how many other people had laid in this bed.

“Thoughts?” Richie asked, flipping to his side and looking at Eddie.

This is how it would look if I woke up next to him, Eddie thought, watching as Richie’s curls flopped onto his face. He nearly reached out and tucked it behind his ear, barely stopping himself.

“Too simple, isn't it? You seem like a fancy guy.” Richie said, leaping up before Eddie could answer.

Eddie stood and followed. Richie was right, he wanted to buy his first adult bed. Not something that felt like it belonged in a dorm.

“Let’s try this bad boy, our snefjord model,” Richie said, flopping onto a bed with a cushioned headboard. He knocked on it. “A sound barrier for your louder nights, no bugging roommates with this.” He said as Eddie laid down.

“I don't have any roommates,” Eddie said, turning his head to look at Richie.

“Solo man, huh? I like it.” Richie stretched and Eddie caught a glimpse of the pale skin on Richie’s stomach. “I’ve got a roommate but he’s cool, he’s at his boyfriend’s a lot.”

“His boyfriend’s?” Eddie asked.

Richie nodded. “Stan my man finally nabbed his college crush, took nearly 6 months of shoving them together but now they’re inseparable.”

“Cute,” Eddie said, slightly jealous of someone he didn’t even know. Eddie was sick of the dating scene, he wished he had something like that, something effortless. “Sure, if you don’t mind them sucking face whenever you walk into a room.” Richie sat up, looking around the room. “Tell me what your bedroom looks like Eds, I need some inspiration.”

Eddie sat up too. “You’re very forward.”

The other man shrugged, “I don’t think you mind.” Eddie didn’t but he wasn’t about to tell Richie that. Instead, he answered the question. “I painted one blue accent wall, the rest is white. I’ve got black furniture. It’s pretty plain.”

Richie nodded, scanning the room. “Any pictures?”

“A framed Audrey Hepburn a friend gave me.”

“Classy.” Richie leapt off and went to another bed, not checking if Eddie was following.

He did. Eddie already had a feeling that he’d follow Richie most places. It was strange, Eddie wasn’t a trusting person but he already trusted Richie, in his terrible yellow shirt and ripped jeans.

Richie fell onto another bed, with a white metal frame and an elaborate headboard. “This baby will impress all the guests. Look at this craftsmanship.” Richie said, knocking on the metal, making it clang loudly.

Eddie didn’t lie down this time, shaking his head. “I don’t like this one at all.” It was too frilly for him. He had spent his life being called girly and frail, he didn’t want that in a bed.

Richie threw his legs over the sides and sat up, grinning at Eddie. “Finally! An opinion emerges from the dark! I thought you’d be someone with lots of opinions. Tell me what you want,” Richie asked again.

Eddie looked at the sea of beds and found one he liked. He wandered over to it, Richie following him. It was a black wooden frame with vertical planks as the headboard. “I like this,” Eddie said, running his hands over it. “Sleek, not too fancy, looks like an adult’s bed.”

Richie nodded approvingly. “A Hemnes, very nice.” He ran his hand over it too, stopping near Eddie’s and leaning over him. “The best part is that these boards work great for handcuffs.” He whispered into Eddie’s ear.

Eddie swallowed, feeling Richie’s warm body next to his. “Is that something you’re interested in?” Richie continued.

Eddie turned to look at Richie, smiling slightly. “That’s not really an employee-customer question.”

“Is that all we are, employee and customer?” Richie asked, pretending to be hurt.

Eddie shrugged, smiling a little. “You tell me.”

Richie took the half pencil from Eddie and wrote something down, sticking the paper and pencil in Eddie’s pocket. “The bed number, for later,” He explained, taking Eddie’s hand again. “Now, if you’re interested, we dine.”

“Dine?” Eddie asked, willingly following Richie this time.

“All will be explained in good time my tiny Timberlake.”

“Timberlake?” Eddie asked.

“You’ve got moves, I can tell. And you’re a sharp dressed man.” Richie explained as they wove through dressers and kitchen countertops.

“You are unlike anyone I’ve met,” Eddie said, slightly under his breath.

“They broke the mold when they made me,” Richie told him, stopping so abruptly that Eddie ran into his back. “Ta-da!” Richie said, sweeping his arm across what looked, to Eddie, like a school cafeteria.

“Wow, I’m-” He paused. “Underwhelmed.”

Richie turned to him, shaking his head. “You’re such an Ikea virgin. Come on, let’s get you some delicious meatballs.” Richie turned and grabbed a tray, falling into one of the lines.

“I’m not really a ball guy,” Eddie said, grabbing a tray for himself.

Richie barked out a laugh. “Eds gets off a good one! But you’ll like these balls, they come in vegetarian too. All your ball preferences are covered.”

“That’s not my name,” Eddie said, looking up at the menu choices. “What’s safe to eat?”

“I’m ordering, don’t worry,” Richie said, turning to the employee and rattling off a long order.

Within five minutes they were sitting down. “You ordered way too much,” Eddie said, looking at all the food.

“You gotta try everything. Can’t have you thinking I’m cheap on a first date.” Richie explained, spearing a portion of a meatball on his fork and dipping it in the cranberry sauce. “Open wide for my balls Eds.”

“You’re really enjoying these ball jokes huh?” Eddie said and Richie nodded. He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, not missing how Richie’s eyes trained on his lips.

Eddie’s mouth closed around the bit and he chewed slowly, Richie watching him the whole time. “Well?”

Eddie swallowed and nodded. “It’s pretty good actually.”  He picked up his fork and took some of the mashed potatoes, eating those. “It’s all good.”

Richie grinned. “Wait until you try the cake.”

They ate, Richie telling Eddie about working at Ikea and Eddie telling Richie about his job. It was the best, if weirdest, first date Eddie had had in a while.

Eventually, Eddie looked down at his watch, shocked to see how much time had passed. “I need to go, I’m meeting friends for dinner. And you probably need to get back to work.”

Richie shrugged as he stood, moving to put the trays away. “My shift ended an hour ago.”

Eddie came to a full stop. “Why were you helping me then?”

“You looked mid-panic attack. I know how that goes. I couldn't just leave you.” Richie shrugged, then he smiled. “Plus, you’re pretty damn cute.”

Eddie smiled at him. “Well, thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without you. And thanks for lunch.” He was reeling from the fact that Richie had stayed late, just for him.

“Think of me when you see balls.” Richie winked and turned, starting to walk away.

Eddie gaped at him for a minute before catching up with him, putting a hand on Richie’s shoulder and making him turn. “What are you doing?” Eddie asked, annoyed. “All that and you’re not going to give me your number? Or ask for mine?” He crossed his arms.

Richie poked Eddie’s breast pocket. “What do you think I wrote down there? It’s the number for the bed, and for me.”  

“Oh,” Eddie looked down, feeling a little silly. “I was worried that-”

Richie bent down and pressed his lips to Eddie’s, just briefly before pulling back and grinning. “Don’t worry, I’ll be around to help you break that bed in.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”  

Richie smirked, “I never do.”

#reddie #reddielibrary #writing team #prompt fill

[widgenstain]

Haven’t done that in a while, have I?

It by Stephen King

Rating: 1/10

Review:

Urgh, this dumpster fire… This dumb book blocked up my nightly readings for far too long, I was so ready to abandon it at points but eventually hate read powered through because some masochistic parts of me still wanted to know how it ended. This goes right on top of the list of garbage I read/watched/did for James.

It also is a prime example for why I usually steer away from long novels or fics. It’s not that I can’t read them, I read a ton for work and yes, they’re huge books, but it takes some tremendous skill to fill 1000 pages of a novel and keep it interesting and/or non-repetitive throughout. It’s what amazed me so about Gaiman’s American Gods, my copy has 640 pages and not one, NOT ONE of them is too much.

My copy of IT has 1376 pages and honest to god, you could have easily scratched 800 of them and it still would have been the same goddamn story. 300 pages alone are basically “and then he told his friends what the reader just read”. SO UNNECESSARY!! 

Like, if it contributed anything to the world or character building, ok, I could have dealt with that, BUT IT DIDN’T! The characters and their arcs are established pretty early on, partially through proper character building, partially through the time-jumps, but quite often through blatant tell-not-show.

King spells everything out SO many times, through so many weird analogies or metaphors, I mean, WOW! Eddie the momma’s boy, Stan the Jewish one who’s a bit obscure due to dying early on, Ben the sensible fat one who becomes a main character but sort of doesn’t, Richie the “funny” one (I swear if I had a nickel for every time King writes “they laughed” when absolutely nothing funny happened, I’d be very very rich), Bill the shameless heroic author insert who couldn’t be more of a textbook definition of Marty Stu if he tried, and Boobs, who will get her own paragraph in this rant. Mike is the one who actually gets off the best, I did like his first-person interludes, how they build his investigative and questioning nature and what they did to the overall story.

Which brings me to the structure: I don’t mind time-jumps nor changing perspectives, I actually love them if done well, and they’re not TERRIBLE here (they do make sense for the message), but King way too often feels the need to interrupt a scene at a suspenseful point only to retell most of it when he gets back to the scene. Most of the side characters suffer from that, foremost Henry Bowers and Tom. It gives the story this episodical feel “He ran. He made it out. This time. IT would get him soon.” DUN DUN DUUUUUN and when we cut back he’s running again!

This works once, twice or even thrice but gets SO TIRING if done every.other.chapter! This is a problem I have with many long fanfictions, where it actually does make sense, since the author publishes the chapters separately and tries to keep the reader engaged, yet I STILL don’t like it. And in a published book?! @clickthefrog mentioned that there’s a good chance that King wrote this super high on a plethora of drugs and OOHHHH YEAH, I can totally see that happening, but I wonder if his editor was sitting next to him and doing lines from the same damned pile of coke.

Someone really needed to go over this and cut it down to its essentials. Which aren’t bad, I did like the monster, I did like IT, the whole idea of Derry just being infested by it was great, some of the horror elements are genuinely disturbing and I GET the fascination with Pennywise and the other manifestations. Not all of IT makes sense imho but not everything in horror has to and those scenes were perfectly fine. But they make up like 10% of the book!! 

The rest is Beverly’s tits. 

Jesus HOLY-OBJECTIFICATION-BATMAN-MOTHERFUCKER! I am NOT exaggerating when I say that every time the focus shifts to her, there’s a remark on how hot she is. Which I MAYBE would be ok with when she is an adult, but it happens to the 11-year-old girl as well! If I had a nickel for every time her “small breasts” or naked skin or seductive red hair is mentioned and how the boys want to touch her, I’d be even richer. I mean, there is adoration and growing sexual obsession through the eyes of PRE-TEEN boys, and there is creepy as fuck objectification through the eyes of the author.

And yeah, I bet you’ve all heard of that scene… Look, I don’t mind fucked-up things in fiction, I’ve read things way worse than what happens here but context and build-up freaking matter. I cannot shake the feeling that King delights in and gets-off on putting Beverly though sexualised,violent shit, what happens with her father, her husband, Jesus Christ, that terrible sex scene with Bill (he makes her cum twice with the thrusts of his mighty penis… two good things came out of this: James and Jessica getting it on for my viewing pleasure and the knowledge that I, a fucking foreigner with limited English skills, can write better sex scenes than a best-selling American author. GO ME!!) and it’s all fine, it’s a horror story, we all love putting our favourite characters through terrible and humiliating things sometimes, I get it, we cool.

But after these scenes that clearly establish that King has a thing for Beverly, that 11-year old girl makes five of her male friends fuck her because… she loves them and that will build a connection? Uhmmm? What the fuck?! I get that she’s fucked-up because of her father, but the way it’s written, the obsession with the non-working baby dicks and how she feels pleasure and cums when Ben shoves in his grown-man thing… Whow! Gross! Ew ew ew, this is wrong and it would be wrong if it was written well too.

Anyway, gross child sex scenes aside, if you couldn’t tell yet: I’m pissed I paid for this book (they only had the German version in the Open Book Case) and I’m pissed that even more people will pay for it.

A friend of mine has that theory that as soon as a book makes it to the piles at the front of an airport book shop, the author is set for life. People see it when they’re bored, they recognise the title, so they buy it and read bits of it. These are people who usually do not read much, so they have no comparisons, they often don’t even finish the book but they remember that they’ve had it in hand so they talk about it. These books sell, they make a movie, even more people know of the title and buy it because they recognise it but who knows how many of them actually read it; it absolutely doesn’t matter how bad the book is, it keeps on selling. That’s my theory with IT because there is no fucking other explanation why this got so successful.

The movies definitely helped, I haven’t watched either movie yet (parts of the old one on TV, but never the full movie), I most likely will before IT2 comes out, they’re supposedly not as unintentionally creepy or borderline paedo pornographic as the book, so I’ll give them a try. Not gonna pay for them though, nope, not a chance. :P

#widge reads books #read in English #not gonna tag that because I will lose enough followers with this already xD #totally can see why James accepted this though #everything where he can wade through a ton of sticky gore and look like he'd jumped into a blender #there is a long sweary rant under the cut #fair warning

[richiefuckfacetozier]

Okay, imagine the IT kids in the 2010s. Eddie's is gay and with Richie and Sonia knows about it, but she desperately tries to avoid talking about it and pretend it isn't true. And then Love Simon comes out, and Eddie convinces her to see it with him, and it helps her accept Eddie being gay and being with Richie

This took a bit to answer because I am on vacation and wanted to write a little fic about this very thing! I’m doing it in first person present because that’s how it is in the book Simon Vs the Homosapien Agenda, which is a terrible title for a book thank god they named the movie Love, Simon.

Exhale

Located on Ao3

Richie and I lay on the couch watching television. He has an arm around my waist, while my head is in the crook of his neck. I trace my fingers along his arm slowly then sigh softly.

“What’s wrong?” Richie asks immediately. I smile at the intuitiveness my boyfriend always has even with the slightest of mood change.

“I’m taking mom to Love, Simon tonight.” I mumble.

“No fucking way.” Richie uses his other arm to push himself up, so he is leaning above me to scan my face for a lie. “She’ll never agree to go.”

“I mean…”

“That movie is the funny, heartwarming, adorable, and the gay romantic comedy we both have craved since we were 13. Your dragon of a mother will hate every minute of it. I’m picturing her face and oh my godddd…” Richie starts laughing which brings my anxiety to a tipping point. I can feel my face heating up faster than a fry cooker.

“Thanks for the fucking support.” I try to roll off the couch and move away but Richie traps me in his arms. I attempt to struggle, “No! You don’t get to cuddle me if you are going to be an asshole!” Richie starts to run his hands up my sides making me laugh and squirm. He swings his leg over to straddle my legs and get a better hold on tickling.

“Mercy! Mercy!” I laugh still wiggling aggressively. Richie grabs my hands and brings them above my head. He smiles down at me then brings his mouth forward to kiss. I return the pressure but pull away soon after with an unsure expression. “You really think I shouldn’t take her?”

“Ah. Still on the Ice Queen.” Richie leans back entwining his fingers with mine. “You should definitely take her. I just think she’ll refuse to go or walk out before it is done. Which will just hurt your feelings baby.”

“I’m not a baby and it won’t hurt my feelings if she walks out.” I lie terribly. “I don’t care what she thinks.”

“You’re not a baby, you’re MY baby.” Richie kisses my neck slowly his lips giving my skin goosebumps. “And it WILL hurt your feelings. You broke your phone when she told you to break up with me.”

“It was an old phone anyway.”

“You yelled at me for 10 minutes straight when she ignored you for a week after coming out.”

“You told me I had small hands.”

“You do have small hands.”

“I blacked out during that argument.” I muse.

“When are you two going?” Richie says softly.

I bite the inside of my cheek subconsciously. “Tonight, I didn’t tell her what the movie is about.”

Richie places a hand on the cheek I am chewing. “It’ll be ok. I’ll sneak in the back and will be ready to watch the rest of it with you when she runs out.”

I glare at him but still manage a little smile. “Fuck you. She might like it.”

“We’ll see.” Richie laughs then kisses my glare away.

“What’s the movie about?” My mother asks as we wait in line for popcorn. Her arms are crossed and she looks thoroughly bored.

“It’s a teen romcom,” I say quickly.

“Well, that doesn’t sound too bad.” She says reluctantly as we step forward to the cashier. “Can I get a large popcorn and a medium soda…”

I look to the side and see Richie wave before heading into the movie. True to his word, he came to watch the movie.

A million anxious thoughts are flying through my head. I keep trying to convince myself that this IS a good idea. She WILL see how accepting and loving Simon’s parents are. Then change her mind about me.

“What do you want to drink?” My mother’s voice cuts through.

“Diet Coke is fine. Thanks, Ma.” I say patiently. “So Ma, I was thinking we should get dinner with Richie after the movie.” She tenses up immediately and does not answer. “I know you’re not the biggest fan but it would be nice for my mother and my boyfriend get along. He’s really good to me.”

“I’ll probably be tired after the movie.” She says tersely. The drinks are handed to her and I grab the popcorn bitterly. Then we head toward the theater.

My mother briefly glances at the poster of the movie before walking in to grab seats. “The boy on the poster looks a little like you, Eddie-bear. He’s cute.”

I grin tightly. “Thank you, but I like to think my eyes look less tired than his do.”

She tuts at my joke clearly not realizing I am kidding. “Oh Eddie. That’s not what I meant.”

There is a nervous energy flowing through me as we try to find a good place to sit. I can’t believe I got her this far without an issue. All I can do now is pray she does not run out before the movie is finished.

As we sit down the lights dim, I take a peek at the very back row and spot Richie lounging tossing skittles in the air then catching them in his mouth. I smile at him until he notices me. He makes a show of kissing his palm then blowing the kiss in my direction. I humor him by catching it in my hand and placing the blown kiss against my lips. The nervousness begins to ease.

I love Richie.

I turn back around as the last preview ends and the 20th Century Fox logo vibrates through the room. My palms are sweaty and I’m practically shaking.

I keep peeking at her from the corner of my eyes then the moment of truth happens. Simon begins his opening monologue where he talks about his normal life, great family, adorable friends and he says, “…so I am just like you except I have one huge ass secret…” As Simon looks out the window of his room to see the handsome gardener.

I see my mother tense. My stomach drops as I realize she is absolutely going to walk out. Her hands are gripping the armrests. I continue to eat popcorn acting unperturbed.

As Simon goes out to his car, he says to the gardener, “I like your boots!” And I feel the second-hand embarrassment like I did the first time I watched it with Richie. Last time we laughed and whispered about how Richie used to poorly flirt with me. “I like…your boots!”

Then my mother chuckles.

I stare at her quickly then look back at the screen. I can’t believe my ears just witnessed my mother laughing at a gay boy unsuccessfully flirting.

She laughs a little louder when Simon hits his head on the steering wheel in shame. She doesn’t completely relax but is definitely into the story.

Throughout the film, she smiles, laughs, nudges me at cute parts, and I am in a state of complete elation. She mentions how much Leah is just like Beverly, sassy but sweet to me. She whispers how much she hates Martin and thinks he is the worst person.

We both weep of laughter when Simon has a daydream of his straight friends ‘coming out’ and our identical cackling laughter was so loud after Abby says, “I’m heterosexual,” and her mom cries dramatically, “Oh God help me, Jesus!”

Every time a guy flirts with Simon she asks me, “Oh my god! Is it him?! Is that Blue?”

“Ma!” I whisper back with a laugh. “You’ll see.”

“This is torture.” She replies.

When she starts crying, it’s beyond overwhelming for me. She cried after I came out to her, didn’t say a word, just cried. But she is crying now as Simon is outed to the whole school.

She cries when Simon’s father handles it badly.

Continues to sob as Simon ignores his family.

She cries when the bullies make fun of Simon publically then claps with everyone as the teacher yells at the bullies.

The crying keeps coming as Simon blows up at Martin. “I’m supposed to be the one to decide when and where and who knows. That’s supposed to be my thing. You took that from me!…So just leave me the FUCK alone!”

Mom is sobbing really hard. I look over at her and say softly, “Ma, it’s ok.”

“No, It’s not!” She says in full voice. People around us shush her but she ignores them. “I’m so sorry Eddie-bear. I’m just…so sorry.”

I don’t know what to say so I nod back. “We’ll talk after the movie.”

As the movie goes on mom calms down a bit.

My favorite moment comes when Simon and his mother finally talk. He asks her if she knew and I can sense mom getting anxious about the conversation. I think about how horrible our last talk was and wonder if she is thinking the same thing. As Jennifer Garner’s character says “…But these last few years, more and more, it almost like I can feel you holding your breath…” My mom reaches over and grabs my hand. I squeeze it and start to cry myself. I don’t think I’ve ever loved my mom more in my entire life. “…You get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you than you have been in…in a very long time. You deserve everything you want.”

When the credits roll and the lights go up, mom spends the whole time talking about her favorite parts. That she is so happy to have guessed correctly about who Blue was.

Richie walks down the path to them hesitantly. “Hi Mrs. K! Hey Eddie! I saw you both here and thought I would say…well…hello.”

She looks at him and gives a small smile then throws her arms around him. Richie stares at me in confusion and my mouth parts in awe.

She pulls back with a huge smile on her face. “You are such a good boyfriend to my son and deserve to know that. I would like to take you to dinner with us if you are free?” She has an expression of complete sincerity.

“Sure! I’d love to grab dinner with my two favorite Kaspbraks.” I grin at him. Mom leads the way out of the movie theater. Richie hangs back to take my hand and kiss my cheek.

I let out an exhale of air I didn’t know I was holding. As if all the pain I have been feeling is blowing slowly out of me. 

I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.

@sam-i-am2468 @ohheydatsme @missingstanleyuris @jaederp @loser-marsh @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @reddieaddict @richieskata @reddie-brasil @lesbihonest-imhellagay @richietoaster

#eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #reddie #sonia kaspbrak #i am a loser #Shannon writes #love simon #love simon spoilers #not much but a couple quotes

[kyell]

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Prequels

I have a pet peeve with prequels and it was only after watching “Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindewold” that I was able to pin down what specifically bothered me about it. So here’s a mostly spoiler-free review along with my pet peeve and why I think it signals bad writing.

I liked the first Fantastic Beasts movie quite a bit. All the main characters were well written and well acted, and the Newt-Tina-Queenie-Jacob quartet were charming enough to carry me through the hiccups caused by trying to jam their story in with the story of the Obscurus that was terrorizing New York. But the neatest thing about it was how much bigger it made the Harry Potter world. We moved to a new city in a new country on a new continent nearly a hundred years ago, and so there was a sense of discovery much like when Harry goes to Hogsmeade for the first time, or to the World Cup of Quidditch. We were getting a glimpse into a part of the world that had always existed but we were just seeing for the first time.

The second movie continues the story–of Grindewald, who showed up at the very end of the first movie after being a background character who might just have been thrown in for flavor in the rest of it. Oh yes, we also get to see what Newt’s been up to (not much) and meet a young Dumbledore, a Lestrange, a young McGonagall…and a couple other people with ties to the Harry Potter books that I won’t mention because (maybe) spoilers, even though one of them was one of the most useless characters I’ve ever seen get so much screen time in a movie.

Are you starting to see what’s bothering me here? (I mean, apart from getting maybe a first act for the story of the four main characters of the first movie, the ones I liked.) This movie, far more than the first, pushes into your face all the connections with the Harry Potter books. Remember the Lestranges, y’all? There’s even a scene with a student in which the movie takes pains to let you know his name is McClaggen. OMG! It’s Cormac McClaggen’s grandfather probably! Does he do anything in the movie? No.

A little of this is fun. I do it in side stories and prequel stories I’ve written. But when there are so many people with ties to the main work, it makes the world feel smaller. It’s ironic that WB is starting to push the “Wizarding World” brand to expand this world beyond Harry Potter with a movie that shrinks the scope of the world in this way. We go to Paris! Do we meet any French magicians of note? We do not. The French Ministry of Magic is cool as a set for the British and American wizards to run around in. Ditto Paris.

A piece of advice I got from Kij Johnson’s novel workshop was: strive to make your world feel larger. Very often I fall into the trap of writing the story about my main character(s) and a couple of their friends. But I (and hopefully you) interact with a lot more people just on a daily basis, especially in today’s world. I have interacted today with nine of my Telegram chats, some of which include multiple people. Just today!

The same advice holds when moving around in time. If you were writing a prequel to your own life, say your high school or college years (I’m aware that for many of you those are not nearly as far in the past as they are for me; just bear with me), would the characters be the same as the ones in your life now? Some would, sure: your best friends, your family. But I’m willing to bet that in general, the people you talk to on a regular basis have changed over the last five years, ten years, twenty years. The same should go for your story.

All that said, the movie was a lot of fun. We saw it in 3D with Dolby Atmos sound and it was delightfully immersive. I still like Eddie Redmayne’s performance of Newt quite a bit, and I like the Harry Potter world a lot. As I noted on Twitter, I would like to know what Grindewold’s crimes actually are, given they felt them important enough to make a title out of, and I’d like to know what he stands for other than the rather vaguely threatening “freedom” he goes on about. Plotwise the movie doesn’t give you a whole lot to hold on to; it’s a lot of assumption that you get that this guy is Bad and must be stopped, and that this other guy is Driven. If you examine it too closely, a lot of it falls apart (for two magicians, Newt and Tina have apparently been terrible at actually keeping in touch), and there are points where the editing is noticeable for its faults. But there are a lot of clever lines, and a lot of good actors doing Good Actor Things, and of course the movie is gorgeously shot and composed. There are new Fantastic Beasts and familiar favorites, there are new spells and familiar ones. If you like the Harry Potter world–sorry, the “Wizarding World”–you’ll probably enjoy this movie, pet peeve or no.

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Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Prequels was originally published on Kyell's Corner

#fantastic beasts #movie

[closetofanxiety]

Nitromare: My God, We’re Really Doing This

Joe has returned to the Land of the Rising Sun, but Mark and I for some reason are committed to watching every Nitro of the Vince Russo Era, when WCW went beyond the point of no return in the battle against the WWF. Tonight we’re on the second week of the first Russo reign: October 25, 1999, from Phoenix, Arizona. Let’s soak up the horror!

We open with Sting, in street clothes, coming out to the ring to demand the presence of JJ Dillon, the kayfabe commissioner. Sting lost to Goldberg last night at Halloween Havoc, but says that match wasn’t for the title, and so Goldberg should not be the champ. Dillon says there’s going to be a tournament to determine the champ, so Sting beats up Dillon. Goldberg runs out to make the save, and in the scrum, Sting’s t-shirt remains impressively tucked into his jeans. Why are they trying to make Sting into a whiny, shitty bad guy? The most natural babyface in the company since Ricky Steamboat. People want to cheer for Sting. 

The first match of the tournament is Norman Smiley vs. Bam Bam Bigelow. It’s over in about five minutes, with Norman winning. I think it was a hardcore match?

Now the Filthy Animals come out to show video footage of them taking Ric Flair out into a desert at night and dumping water on him. I’m not sure why you’d film yourself committing a crime, but the 1990s were a different time. You know who Billy Kidman looks like? The singer for Missing Foundation. It’s uncanny. There’s footage on YouTube of that guy, Peter Missing, setting himself on fire at a show in Boston. 

Rey Misterio says the Filthy Animals are going to “hump” Harlem Heat “like the dogs we are.” OK? Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn are apparently outraged, perhaps on behalf of dogs, and they run out and start beating on the Animals with lead pipes. Shane Douglas and Asya come out and kidnap Torrie Wilson. 

Now we’re backstage with Mike Tenay and Curt Hennig. Is there any American wrestler whose career was more a story of thwarted promise than Mr. Perfect? He was so good at everything, but never really got the breakthrough, either because of injuries or working for the wrong company at the wrong time, or both. 

Kevin Nash and Scott Hall are hanging around backstage. Somewhat grimly considering what we know now, they’re drinking beer from a cooler. 

The next match in the championship tournament is Hennig versus Lash Laroux, a truly forgotten figure from the WCW era. His gimmick was that he was a Cajun. That was pretty much it, mes amis. While the match is going on, Disco Inferno comes out to do commentary with Tony Schiavone and The Brain. For some reason. Hennig gets DQ’d for hitting Laroux with a chair. Disco Inferno comes in to help Laroux, and gets beat up with the chair. The match lasts maybe three minutes. 

We’re back in the ring after a commercial break with Kim Page and Mean Gene talking about the Nitro Girl competition. This was a contest to find a new Nitro Girl that I think Stacy Keibler eventually won. We meet two more finalists, both local, and watch footage of them dancing as Disco Inferno looks on. Was he the judge? His whole gimmick was that he was a bad dancer. 

The Nitro Girls thing is interrupted by DOUBLE J himself, Jeff Jarrett, recently arrived from the WWF. He immediately says the championship tournament is “a big work,” which I’m sure sounded like a good idea if you were on cocaine. Jarrett is still wrestling today; he’s currently a titleholder in AAA. He’s had one of the most remarkable careers of any American wrestler, yet I’ve never really enjoyed him.

Another match in the It’s A Big Work Tournament. Perry Saturn vs. Eddie Guerrero, which in theory should be a great match. So far each match in this tournament has featured one wrestler who is no longer alive. There are empty seats on the hard camera side; Mark notes that the revamped WCW logo reminds him of the final flag of a soon-to-be-vanquished country.

The match is not great. A few decent spots, but then David Flair runs in and hits Eddie Guerrero with a lead pipe, allowing Saturn to get the win via the Rings of Saturn. It last six minutes. 

We’re backstage, and the Revolution have Torrie Wilson imprisoned in a backstage area. “This is a great hiding place; they’ll never find us!” exults Shane Douglas, in front of a camera crew. Chris Benoit arrives and locks most of the Revolution inside a caged area, allowing him to beat on Dean Malenko. Everyone is wearing what would today be classified as Mom Jeans. Wasn’t Benoit part of the Revolution? Eventually he’d jump to the WWF along with Saturn, Malenko, and Guerrero, as the Radicalz. You could tell they were extreme, because they scorned the letter ‘S.’

Hall and Nash walk out, wearing street clothes. “It seems these new bosses we got from up North can’t have a wrestling show without the Outsiders,” Hall says, in a reference to Russo and Ferrara that 99 percent of the audience wouldn’t understand. Nash is wearing a FUBU jersey. His meandering promo is interrupted by Goldberg, who is standing in the crowd, wearing his gear and holding a microphone. As one does. “You’re both next!” Goldberg says. Technically, they can’t BOTH be next, Bill.

Macho Man and Gorgeous George come out. I don’t know why her wrestling name was Gorgeous George, but she wasn’t the worst person to wear the mantle created by George Wagner. There were so many terrible Gorgeous Georges. Even in the twilight of his career, Savage is still a compelling, charismatic performer. “Don’t hunt what ya can’t kill, cuz ya can’t kill The Madness!” he cautions, adding “I ain’t no punk bitch!” He takes some shots at Hogan and Flair. Gorgeous George is chewing gum and looking a bit lost. “I got too much money in the bank to get punked out by punks like you!” Savage yells, although it’s still unclear to whom he’s referring. Then he says he and Gorgeous George are leaving. OK. 

The Filthy Animals are searching for Torrie backstage. How did they find Shane Douglas’ great hiding place?? But the Revolution have moved off to another backstage space to complain about how Chris Benoit beat Malenko’s ass. 

Next WCW title tournament match: Madusa vs. Meng. Oh God. Madusa looks legitimately unwell. Everyone who knows Meng is terrified of Meng. He’s like nuclear war. This is not a pioneering intergender matchup: none of Madusa’s offense is effective, while Meng just stands around and growls like an animal. Madusa wrestled Bull Nakano a lot, so this probably wasn’t the scariest opponent she’d faced. Meng wins in about four minutes with the Tongan Death Grip. Remember when it was a big deal that Madusa jumped to WCW with the WWF women’s belt? Boy, they sure made the most of that, didn’t they?

Evan Karagias comes out to help Madusa. “Isn’t he gallant,” Brain sneers, and for some reason he pronounces it “guh-launt” and it makes me laugh out loud. That’s how I’m pronouncing it from now on. 

Nothing stands still. Malenko comes out and challenges Benoit and then leaves. Russo’s WCW feels like experimental theater, right down to the destruction of the fourth wall and acknowledgement of artifice. 

Mark describes Hall and Nash as “two retirees going around, causing trouble,” and this is a perfect description of what they’re doing at this point. I’m omitting about half the backstage segments, because they all last about 45 seconds and seem meaningless. 

Lex Luger and Miss Elizabeth come out, everything we know about what would happen later making it very hard to enjoy any of this. I think this is a match in the title tournament? The WCW commentary team does not do nearly as much recapping as today’s WWE announcers, and it’s kind of baffling.

It’s Luger vs. Rick Steiner, and a shirtless Jeff Jarrett comes out to join in on commentary. “We saw your shtick in the WWF, we know you’d hit a woman,” Schiavone says. “This is not the WWF, this is the WCW, and I am the Chosen One!” Jarrett replies. Jarrett is upset that he is being blamed for hitting Liz last week. Jarrett tries to hit Luger with a guitar and gets Steiner instead. Jarrett runs off and Steiner follows him. The crowd seems bored and angry. Luger wins via count. The match was maybe three minutes long. 

Kidman and Konnan are backstage. Konnan calls the Revolution “mark busters.” I can’t look at Kidman without seeing Peter Missing. Have you ever heard Missing Foundation? It’s really challenging stuff. What a group they were.

Another title tournament match, this time between Kidman and Konnan, fellow Filthy Animals. There’s a ref bump 45 seconds into the match. Harlem Heat comes out and beat up Konnan and Kidman. Who’s getting humped now, gentlemen, hmmmm? Now Rey and Eddie come out to fight Harlem Heat. In the ring, Kidman gets the pin on an out-cold Konnan. The match lasted two minutes at most. The secret of Vince Russo is that Vince Russo is not a wrestling fan. 

Buff Bagwell’s in the ring and vowing to break all the rules. “I’m going to take every little thing that’s ever been sacred in this business and I’m gonna relieve myself all over it.” Then he says, “I’m not doin’ a J-O-B, a job, for nobody ever again!” He calls out “the two idiots in the back writing this crap,” which, Jesus. Two giant bald guys in suits com out who say “We represent the two idiots in the back writing this crap,” and then proceed to beat the stuffing out of Buffing. 

We’re back from commercial, and Chris Benoit is going to wrestle Dean Malenko in a Mom Jeans Beatdown. No, it’s a last man standing match, but they’re both wearing mom jeans, without belts. That really bothers me for some reason. This is a really good match, the only good one of the night so far. Not entirely surprising. There’s no way to reflect on Chris Benoit without the shadow of his hideous crimes hanging over everything, but for whatever it’s worth, he was one of the best wrestlers of his generation. He had a graceful ferocity and total commitment to what he did that very few wrestlers have ever matched. Benoit wins.

The Filthy Animals run out to beat on Malenko, then Shane Douglas and Asya come out with Torrie Wilson. Torrie Wilson is notably taller than her captor, Asya. They should’ve got Nicole Bass to be their Chyna-alike. Douglas kind of sucked, didn’t he?

Jimmy Hart comes out with Hugh Morrus and Knobs from the Nasty Boys. Was there a new Nasty Boys with Morrus in place of Sags? Or was Knobs moonlighting? I’ll tell you what: the Nasty Boys put together a surprising number of extremely fun matches. This is not one of them: Sting comes out with a baseball bat, beats down Knobs, and gets the pin. I guess this was a no DQ match?

One thing to remember in the Nitromare: nothing has to make sense.

We’re backstage with Tenay and Bret Hart, who has what I think is a storyline ankle injury. Bret interviews like an earnest hockey player, which was part of his appeal. He didn’t have to scream or act like a lunatic to sell you on a match.

Now there’s a tag match between Konnan and Kidman and the defending champs, Harlem Heat. Konnan is also wearing FUBU; were they a sponsor? 

I’m flummoxed that they’d allow so many empty seats facing the hard camera. Why not send people in higher sections down to take those seats? This is AWA-at-the-end level inattention to detail.

Meanwhile, in the match, Harlem Heat are beating the shit out of the Filthy Animals in a mostly uninteresting fashion. It’s a slog. There’s an inexplicable screw job finish that has Schiavone asking “Who won?,” which is always a good sign. The answer: the Filthy Animals won because ... Kidman bridged out of a pin? 

Nitromare: Nothing Has to Make Sense

DDP and Kimberly come out. My God, Kimberly was attractive. And Page was insanely over with WCW fans; it’s galling how badly he was mishandled by the WWF. Did you know Page sued Jay Z over the Diamond Cutter hand gesture? They settled out of court, so we still don’t have settled legal precedent on whether you can trademark a hand gesture.

David Flair comes out. DDP is mad at Flair because Flair’s dad slept with Kimberly. Flair pulls out a crowbar and cheap-shots DDP, then starts whaling on him. David Flair looks like the character in a movie about rural 19th century America who’s described as “a bit touched.” Like a character who accidentally kills or injures a major character and then commits suicide in helpless despair. It’s not ... a great look for a pro wrestler.

DDP gets kayfabe stretchered out. Well, I believe he’s the winner by disqualification, so there is that. 

Back from commercial. Hall and Nash, in street clothes, are in the ring. Their opponents appear to be local strippers. They’re not given an introduction, so we don’t know for sure. One of them motorboats Scott Hall. The crowd enjoys it, because wrestling fans in the 1990s were not very sophisticated. The other stripper is tagged in. “This is what it’s all about,” Tony says. Nash comes in. “The hot tag! The big save,” Tony says. One of the rare moments when I feel like Lou Thesz. A third stripper with balloon-sized fake breasts comes into the ring. The Outsiders lay down and get pinned. Who says Kevin Nash wouldn’t do jobs in WCW? 

Goldberg mercifully runs into the ring and spears them both. The crowd likes it, but is also horny and mad that the woman with the huge fake breasts didn’t take her shirt off. The replay is brought to us by the Air Force, which at the time was using the slogan “Aim High.” Not a lot of that in Nitromare, I’m afraid.

I think it’s main event time. God, I hope it is. I’m so weary. Bret Hart hobbles out to the ring. He’s wrestling Goldberg, who has one of the all-time great entrances in pro wrestling history. 

Tony says Bret’s shin is hurt, when earlier we were told it was his ankle. Later, Tony says it’s Bret’s ankle. Razor sharp. 

Goldberg was not a great wrestler, and with Bret selling a broken ankle, it was hard to carry the big dude to a credible match. The story here is Bret’s insane pride and resilience, and it’s going well initially: the crowd rallying behind him as he tries to fight back against the onslaught from Goldberg. Goldberg does a good job of looking conflicted about wrestling a guy who’s less than 100 percent, which adds to the story. Goldberg finally starts working on the injured leg and then breaks the hold, hoping the ref will stop the match. Hey, this is actually not bad! 

Bret fights out of a corner and applies the sleeper, which leads to, merciful God in heaven above, a ref bump. The Outsiders and Sid Vicious run out to take out Goldberg. Nash hits the most spectacular move in his arsenal, the sidewalk slam. Goldberg is out and Bret covers him for the win. This sucked.

Grade: D

Signs in the Crowd: WCW = Where Chumps Wrestle; Everyone Hates Rey, Man (so Nineties); Ryan Gill is Gay (also very Nineties, in a bad way); IM SINGLE; Goldberg Kicks Ass; Big Sexy in the House NWO 4 Life; Hall = Ratings; Filthy Animals = Circle Jerk; Can’t Stand Me No Fruit Booties; Buff is the Stuff; WWW. Rantsylvania . Com (still active! It’s Scott Keith’s blog); WCW Monday Maestro (was there really a person who liked the Maestro enough to make a sign?); Joe B is a Candy Ass; I Pimp Pimps; Russo Where’s the Gambler? 

#NItromare #WCW #1990s wrestling #Vince Russo

[maiji]

Niounomiya / Kaoruchujo (The Perfumed Prince / The Fragrant Captain), 2018 Tale of Genji (Uji chapters)

“He [Kaoru] gave off [...] an otherworldly fragrance, and it was a wonder how no matter where he went, the breeze that eddied behind him seemed really to perfume the air to a hundred paces. [...]This most unusually personal fragrance roused His Highness of War [Niou] to special rivalry. He purposely suffused his clothes with the finest incenses[...] In spring he contemplated his garden’s plum blossoms...”

- The Perfumed Prince, Tyler translation

Fountain pen ink and waterbrush - Papier Plume Sepia, Kyo Iro Cherry Blossom of Keage, KWZ Confederation Brown, Kyo no Oto Yamabukiiro. Many thanks to my dad for supplying his calligraphy for me to copy!

Kaoru’s nice smell, which I mentioned previously, may seem odd/random from a Western perspective, but it’s tied to a major theme of his character. A beautiful fragrance is supposed to be sign of an enlightened being, so it’s a carryover of his karma from a past life. Except in this life it drives him crazy because he can’t get rid of it and everybody always knows when he’s in the area.

I wanted to include some brief thoughts about these characters and their relationship, but it accidentally exploded into an essay. See below the cut and I am so sorry to anyone for whom the cut fails.

(The Kaoru - Ukifune - Niou love triangle is such an obvious, common point of discussion in their relationship, so I won’t spend time on that here.)

Of the three generations of friendship-rivalries in Tale of Genji, the third is by far the most diametrically opposed. Niou's a hotshot prince who chases practically any woman because he can, being so notorious that even his servants and guardians are constantly like, where the hell is Niou NOW and for god’s sakes, don’t tell him about whatever or he’s going to get into it!! Kaoru is a wannabe monk who keeps getting derailed in this pursuit, in the beginning because he's taking care of his mom, and later because he’s asked by the aging and dying Prince Hachi (whom he greatly respects and has been studying Buddhist scriptures with) to take care of his daughters. People have summarized Niou as successor of Genji’s dynamism, charm and passion, and Kaoru as successor of Genji’s spiritualist sensitivities. So I guess you can call them Genji without the morals VS Genji without the libido, which is simplified but fairly accurate.

It’s also interesting to compare/contrast their actual heritage. Niou is Genji’s grandson through his daughter the Akashi Empress. He was also Murasaki’s favourite, and he was a cute kid, but she might have been appalled to see how he turned out. Kaoru meanwhile is the result of an affair between Kashiwagi (To no Chujo’s son) and the Third Princess (Genji’s youngest wife), and though everyone involved kept the secret pretty well, he’s always had this unsettled feeling of displacement and a sense that something was weird about his mother’s situation. (I’m a huge sucker for quietly and privately sad scenes, and the brief one where Kaoru, after learning the truth about his birth, with his real father's incriminating letters in hand, rushes home to talk to his mother - and then decides never to let her know that he knows because it would only upset her - was definitely one of those to me.)

From my perspective, Murasaki Shikibu or whoever wrote these chapters did a decent job making the Kaoru-Niou friendship believable and even supportive (mostly thanks to Kaoru) before all the crap hits the ceiling later (mostly thanks to Niou). The Uji chapters are rightfully considered a tragedy, but as I was reading I found the predicaments these two kept getting themselves into, and the sheer contrast of their positions and dispositions, rather hilarious.

At one point in the story, the pair have befriended the sisters Oigimi and Nakanokimi (the daughters Kaoru’s been asked to take care of, mentioned earlier). Because both Kaoru and Niou are of excellent status, getting married to either of them is about as much assurance that a woman would be taken care of as you could get in aristocratic Heian society. Only dad kinda FORGOT TO TELL HIS DAUGHTERS that he asked Kaoru to take care of them before he died, so they think their father wants them to stay hermits in their isolated house forever. GJ DAD YOU HAD ONE JOB

So anyways, both of them are courting the sisters. Well, Niou is definitely courting one (or both, he was kind of confused who he’s talking to/exchanging poetry with, but he is Very Serious about whomever it is). Kaoru’s doing whatever Kaoru does, which mostly seems to be talking a lot to this old woman who serves the sisters because she knew his real father, and chatting with the sisters, and slowly falling in love with the elder sister Oigimi.

But Niou being an imperial prince can’t get out and travel as easily as Kaoru can, plus he’s frequently put under house arrest for his bad behaviour. This leaves Kaoru to visit the sisters regularly and plead the case of his best friend’s sincerity. I kept picturing Kaoru all bundled up and paddling out to the middle of nowhere, and apologetically explaining for the umpteenth time, “I am so sorry. Niou couldn’t make it again. Yes, he’s grounded again. No, he really is grounded. I know you’ve heard that he’s a terrible playboy, and, well, he is, but he really is very in love with you. Uh, with one of you. He’s really very serious about whichever one of you was writing to him. Really” And the sisters behind their screen are like “WTF KIND OF IDIOTS DO YOU THINK WE ARE” (Please don’t take this as an accurate description of the story)

And then you get passages like this scene. Here we have Niou observing Kaoru in private mourning over Oigimi’s death:

"After many days of tears [Kaoru’s] features had changed, although not for the worse, for they now had so fine a beauty and grace that [Niou], who deplored his own waywardness, saw that he would certainly lose his heart to him, if he himself were a woman."

- Trefoil Knots (Tyler translation)

The next few lines, beginning with "That was a worry" makes me interpret it as either Niou going, "Uh oh, better get my brain onto a new train of thought", or "Uh oh, better get my new wife - whom KAORU HELPED ME TO WIN OVER AND IS STILL TRYING TO HELP CONVINCE WHAT A DECENT GUY I AM - to my house quick in case she falls in love with him."

Obviously, I'm biased towards Kaoru. But hey, I’m not alone! Many readers from the Heian period onwards felt the same. The Mumyozoshi or Nameless Book - a 13th century work of prose criticism by an author many believe to be Fujiwara Toshinari no Musume (“Shunzei’s Daughter”), whose family was dedicated to study of Genji Monogatari - argues that Kaoru is perfect and defends him from criticism. I don't know if I'd go quite that far, but I was super amused. And there are quite a few ancient writings that extend or reimagine things to better favour Kaoru - or at least cut Niou down to size. Here’s an example:

And His Majesty the Emperor Niou said, "Wow, you found Ukifune? Really? That’s great! Uh, you’re not still mad at me after all this time, are you? Boy, I was such an asshole back then and caused so much shit for both of us. Blah blah blah grovel grovel sob sob grovel." The Palace Minister Kaoru was so thoughtful even when he was young that he put everybody else to shame, and he barely ever complained. He now knew even more that life was fleeting and everything was impermanent and that really they’d all been at fault and his depth of compassion and understanding was way beyond even what even the most devout monk could achieve. So he wasn’t bitter at all. He replied, "It’s OK, there’s no point being angry about the past. Whatever happened was fated to happen." And he chatted about this and that until they all felt better. After he left His Majesty said, ‘Goddamn he’s amazing. I’m not worthy to be in his presence.” Actually His Majesty was annoyed because the women in his service were always going on and on about how wonderful the Minister was.”

- extremely paraphrased by me from Kumogakure Rokujo (Tale of Genji apocryphal chapters)

I hope you will agree that this amazingness would not be out of place on fanfiction.net.

Conversely, to balance out this biased post, Royall Tyler wrote an essay titled "Pity Poor Kaoru" that argues the whole narrative is set up to make you feel sorry for him to the exclusion of consideration for the other characters, and that even bearing this in mind he's not really the deep nice guy everyone thinks he is. I don't necessarily agree with all of it, but I do agree the reader is intended to sympathize with Kaoru (there’s a reason I haven’t seen any readers rushing to Niou’s defence). In any case, it's an interesting read with some good points. Centuries-spanning annotated fandom debates are so fascinating!

Wrapping up with some thoughts on Niou. As you may already know, I don’t like him, but to be fair that’s kind of the point. For the most part, aside from his amoral philandering ways and his heightened sense of suspicion that everybody’s doing the same thing he is, he seems otherwise a decent...ish... person. I guess lol. He's authentically very passionate about whatever his stupid inclinations are at the time, he really was housebound against his will at those critical parts in the story (although it’s partly his own fault…), and there are multiple points where he appears to feel genuine remorse at his own asshattery. 

Regardless of whether I’d like him as a real person or not, he’s a character. I recognize the Niou/Kaoru dynamic and relationship is central to the Uji chapters, his role makes the story what it is, and this is what creates conflict, interest, and entertainment. After all, while *I* would read 1200 pages about Kaoru being a monk, not everybody would. And even as I’m writing that, I admit it’s not the most exciting-sounding material.... and 1200 pages is a lot of pages... Ultimately Kaoru and Niou are great reminders that stories are only more compelling when you have interesting relationships and interactions. And I can say with greater confidence that I would read 1200 pages of Kaoru trying to be a monk and dealing with Niou being a turd. Thank you for reading my long wall of text.

#tale of genji #genji monogatari #niou no miya #kaoru chujo #artists on tumblr #art #fude de manne #fountain pen ink #ink #art by maiji/mary huang #so many tale of genji thoughts