Tumgik
#if there’s anything like actually important i’m here and available!! just not up to planning a dinner party shdhdf
arthur-r · 1 year
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hello im actually really happy with the script we just finished???? two and a half hour zoom call was extremely taxing but i’m okay
#me and this kid from my school are co-writing a 15 minute musical for the winter play festival and we just finished a first draft!!#it’s a jukebox musical which means it uses pre-existing songs instead of writing our own. which made it way easier#and it has songs from death note the musical (which nobody told me existed???? honestly might become obsessed with it soon enough)#matilda the musical (which i saw at the children’s theatre a couple years ago and then netflix last week)#frozen (we included. the entirety of love is an open door) and then this one random country song about loving this bar#basically the premise is there’s this reporter looking for his big break doing a boring piece on this tavern when he’d rather write about#this dragon infestation that’s like a serious health code violation. but so the dragons gradually become more and more obvious but the#tavern owner just keeps trying to distract from the matter at hand in a variety of methods#and also the camera person falls in love with a frequent customer. thanks to a love potion. not my idea. but made it as uncreepy as possible#by having the love potion canonically wear off pretty early in and they just still love each other. i do my best in the face of tropes#but so anyway the camera person is too distracted by being in love to like. take video of any of the crazy suspicious stuff that’s going on#and so then the reporter leaves upset and everyone remaining including the camera person sings part of i love this bar by toby keith#anyway for having been written entirely over the course of two days. i think we did pretty good. and real people are gonna perform it!!#performance isn’t until the middle of next month but my work here is nearly done. will keep you guys posted#but so yeah that zoom wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be. and haven’t texted people back yet but it can wait#if there’s anything like actually important i’m here and available!! just not up to planning a dinner party shdhdf#but still let me know if you need anything. love you all. hope you are well#me. my post. mine.#delete later
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wosoamazing · 3 months
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Surprise
Summary: You surprise your Ma for her birthday.
A/N: Just a short one, based off this request.
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It was the day before international break, a period of time in which Katie’s Birthday feel, she was upset that yet again your little family would be split on a birthday, little did she know that your Mum was planning to come visit her, she had arranged with Tony to have a break however that was after the team had already been announced, so she asked Tony to wait until the day she surprised Katie to announce that she was no longer available.
“What if I just don’t go to camp this time, they’re only friendlies” she said as she opened a present.
“Katie, babe, no, you should go, it will be okay. Oh, and also you will get your main present on your Birthday” Caitlin said, she of course knew what this was, it was you and her, but Katie didn’t.
“What is it?” “You will have to wait to find out”.
_____
“Which plane ours?” You ask your Mum, you were standing on the window looking out at the planes in the lounge, Steph and Kyra were with you, as always, except for some reason you didn’t have nearly as many bags as them, where usually you would have more than them.
“We aren’t getting on a plane today, Monkey.” She replies, “But why?”
“Because we are going to fly to Ireland tomorrow, so we can surprise Ma for her Birthday,” your Mum informs you excitedly.
“So why we here then?” “To send her photos like we always do so she doesn’t get suspicious. We’re tricking her into thinking we are going to Matilda’s camp”.
“But you say tricking is bad” you pout.
“Well, most of the time it is, but this time it’s for a good reason, so it isn’t bad”.
“Because Ma is sad, she won’t see us on her birfday and if we go and see her she will get all happy?” you question trying to make sense of the situation “Exactly” “kay”
_____
“PLANE!” You exclaim as you watch a plane take off.
“Shh, Monkey, inside voice, people are trying to work and relax,” she tells you softly in your ear before she turns to a group of businesspeople near her, “I am so sorry, she is just very excited, we are going to surprise her Ma today, she is currently away for work, and its her birthday today,”
“Oh no, it’s sweet, and that is such a cute thing to do,” one of the Women say.
“It’s alright, we’re not really doing anything that important, trying to figure out what colour to use for our design, but I’m sure Katie will be happy to see you. Oh god I sound like a stalker, my daughter is an avid football fan, she plays and wants to become a professional”. The man who seems to the boss says.
“That’s okay, but I am sorry, if I ever see you at a game, I’ll make sure to say hi,”
“Thank you, we are actually coming to the first game after international break,”
“Well, I’ll keep a look out and maybe I’ll have a gift for her”.
“Now boarding flight BA830 to Dublin, flight BA830 boarding now”
“Oh, that’s us, nice meeting you all sorry for the noise again,” your Mum picked you up and headed to your gate, you got checked in and sat on the plane, it wasn’t a verry long flight, but you still fell asleep, something about planes sends you to sleep, you had also not slept much last night as you were excited about seeing your Ma.
_____
There was a car in the pick-up spot waiting for you, your Mum had asked Eileen if it was okay if she did surprise your Ma, she was nervous that Eileen would say no as it might cause some tension/drama in the team but Eileen said absolutely, she even offered a driver to pick you up from the airport and take you to the grounds, your Mum had said it’s okay but Eileen said it was the least she could do,
You got in a car with you Mum, which stopped outside a local flower shop, you went inside with her and helped her pick out the biggest and bestest bouquet for your Ma, after you had purchased it, you got back into the car. After about 3 minutes you were there.
“You ready?” “See Ma!”
Eileen was on the sidelines, near where you were entering, when she saw you, she yelled out “Katie, can you come over here for a sec,” you Ma turned around and started jogging before she saw you and stopped, her mouth dropped before she crocked out "Y/N/N, Cait".
“Ma,” you said as you started running as fast as your little legs could go, when you neared her, she put her arms out and you jumped into them, she lifted you up to give you a big hug before perching you on her hip, your Mum wasn’t far behind her.
“Happy Birthday my love,” your Mum said as she placed a kiss on your Mums lips and hugged her, before putting her arm around her shoulders. “How?” “That doesn’t matter now does it, we’re here.” “I love you so much, thank you for surprising me and for coming” your Ma said as a few tears left her eyes, but Caitlin was quick to wipe them away.
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am-i-interrupting · 1 month
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How Autism Effects Them
For Me. Hi, I’m autistic and I write these specific characters with autism in mind. Here’s how it effects my writing of them.
Alastor
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Alastor is a sensory avoidant autistic with the PDA profile.
He avoids touch unless specifically initiated by him or someone he trusts.
He cannot stand any type of soft touch and is much more receptive to strong grips.
Part of the reason he employed Niffty is because of her obsessive cleaning and his need for things to be orderly but lack of willpower or energy to clean.
He has a specific way of organizing things and Niffty quickly caught on and adopted those same values.
He avoids going certain places due to sounds which may occur. Specifically retaining to music.
He enjoys Jazz, swing, classical, and blues. That is it.
Being sensory avoidant, does not mean, however, that he never seeks sensory stimulation. It is just something he does not do often.
One of the biggest ways he seeks some sort of new experience, sensory or emotion wise, is actually through his planned chaos like with the Hotel. A situation he has some control over and sway in how it goes.
The main stimulation he will look for is the feeling of blood between his teeth and fingers or the best of his favorite songs. Though, he also enjoys the smells and tastes of various spices.
(Personally, I am of the belief that dancing is a stim that he participates in because it’s socially acceptable.)
He is very in touch with his needs and what his body communicates to him even if he doesn’t always have words to describe them.
The PDA profile of autism is known as Pathological Demand Avoidance or, preferred by many PDA-era, Persistent Drive for Autonomy. This often shows up as feeling like anything perceived as a demand is a threat and reacting accordingly.
This results in despite him knowing what his body needs, he refuses to give in to it.
How dare his body tell him to sleep, he is in the middle of very important things that he does not want to stop doing and will stay up even longer to spite his body.
How dare Charlie and Vaggie insist he use video when his radio station is perfectly available, he will mess it up out of spite.
His special interests are actually radio and body anatomy. This fueled both his career choices.
Lucifer
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Lucifer is a depressed, anxiety ridden AuDHD king.
He hyperfixates on his projects and forgets to eat, drink, even go to the bathroom.
He struggles with keeping relationships.
You send him a message, he forgets to reply, remembers to reply two weeks later, spends another week debating whether or not it’s too late to reply before finally replying or just starting a new conversation.
He is easily overwhelmed in social situations and cannot maintain multiple conversations at once.
He will fixate on one person and only reply to them.
Just barges in on conversations and chimes in when initiated at inappropriate times.
He bounces between needing complete silence, a specific noise, or an amount of noise that would overwhelm others constantly.
Vaggie
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Vaggie is an autistic who has alexthymia.
She’s very monotoned and doesn’t know how to express her emotions because frankly, she doesn’t always know what they are.
It’s like there’s some disconnect between her thoughts and her body.
She’s not very good at articulating what she feels or connecting what her body is experiencing to her emotions.
She actually has a journal filled with bodily descriptions and how they connect to what she thinks she should be feeling. It helps her describe them to you better.
She doesn’t just have a disconnect with her feelings but her body as a whole.
She does not process things that should be painful as painful.
Her brain doesn’t always compute what signals her body is giving her so she can often forget to eat, drink, go to the bathroom, sleep.
She has certain rituals she does in order to try to connect better with her body and understand what it needs.
Every morning while she’s getting ready, she needs complete silence so she can connect.
She goes through the motions of brushing her hair and takes note of how it feels before and after. She does the same with brushing her teeth.
A couple times every day, she just has to stop everything, find a quiet place, and try to understand what her body is telling her.
Vox
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Vox has the PDA profile of autism, is sensory seeking, and has OCD-like tendencies.
See Alastor, point 13 for definition of PDA.
His PDA comes up in a much more controlling way than Alastor’s. Or at least obviously controlling.
He needs everything to go a specific way and gets very disregulated when it doesn’t.
I feel like this also makes his RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) worse.
Not only does he have the disappointment and feeling of failure when he is rejected or dismissed but he also has the emotional disregulation of his PDA which makes him feel like he’s been threatened and in danger to deal with on top of this.
His PDA often results in his use of manipulation and hypnosis over the general populace to ensure a favorable outcome for him.
If he is told to do something and there’s no way out of doing it, he will coerce the situation into something that at least feels like he has control over it.
However, if he does have a way out of it. He simply won’t do it or will purposefully do it wrong.
If you ask him to do something that he was already doing, he will walk away and come back to do it later when you’re gone.
His sensory seeking behavior is often like how we were introduced to him, plugging himself into his systems and being bombarded with the sounds of people.
He does this to regulate.
It’s cathartic to him in the same way blasting loud music when you’re upset is.
His main source of stimulation is through noise and sight.
He finds things like bright lights a calming thing as well.
He is a bit sensory avoidant though but it shows up very differently to Alastor’s.
It shows up in the form of constant cleanliness, yes, but Alastor finds cleanliness soft, unstained rugs and polished wooden desks whereas Vox finds it in a much more modern style.
Counters that don’t have a single finger print on them. Floors that are tile and shining, always looking freshly waxed.
Alastor’s version of clean is warm and homely. Vox’s version of clean is cold and slick.
This also plays into his OCD-like tendencies.
For Alastor it’s an annoyance when these things get out of place. For Vox it’ll ruin his entire day and he has to rearrange his schedule in order to fix it.
Another sensory experience he avoids would be strong smells. He cannot cope with them as they overwhelm him, along with taste.
His part of the tower is very pristine and actually very cold temperature wise not only because he enjoys colder temperatures but they also prevent him from overheating when he’s upset or just feeling strong emotions.
Going to the other parts of the tower are not something he enjoys.
Velvette’s normally smells of strong perfumes and Valentino’s smells of a combination of perfume and sex.
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xccentriktigress · 10 months
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Below the cut is a clean verbatim transcript of the StaffCon2023 “Live With the CEO” stream. Featuring the CEO of Automattic, Matt Mullenweg [@photomatt], and the Tumblr COO, Zandy Ring [@zingring].
Built from the videos by @secondbeatsongs [x] and @chainswordcs [x]. Additional thanks to my fellow archivists, @eiimblr, @sharksfood, and @fokron.
The stream was about an hour, so there's a lot of dialogue. There are timestamps next to the questions and important statements if you want to skim. 
A true verbatim transcript is available by request.
[archive 1]|[archive 2]
PhotoMatt: This is Zandy Ring. Zandy’s the Chief Operating Officer of Tumblr and I’m the CEO of Automattic. We’re here, trying out this experiment where we’ll do a live broadcast and take questions from users and talk about it.  And I'm here in the room, actually. This is like the, kinda first ever, in a really long time since… What year was the last big Tumblr meet-up?
*inaudible, off-screen*
PhotoMatt: 2018? *chuckle* Yeah.
ZingRing: Yeah.
PhotoMatt: So, since 2018. So, basically in five years, the first time the vast majority of the Tumblr team is together and so you got a lot of us here in this room. And so pretty much everything there is to know about Tumblr is known in this room. *laugh* So, hopefully, we can answer pretty much anything. Any questions coming in so far?
ZingRing: We have some questions from earlier, and one of the big questions has been one that we just did during our trial run which was uh-
PhotoMatt: I can try this one, the one- what was that, FantastiCait?
ZingRing: Ok, great
[1:08] PhotoMatt: Says, “Why are we making changes right after people left Reddit and Twitter because of their changes?”
PM: *chuckles* I totally get why change is scary. *chuckle* Right? But also if things don’t change, if services don’t evolve I’m certain it’ll die. 
ZR: Right.
PM: Now, if we change it, we could mess it up or we could make it better. The good news is that as we change things we’re listening to users, we’re looking at usage, we’re learning. And so we’re learning by doing.
[1:42] PM: Says, “Are you planning any drastic changes to come?”
PM: I mean, kind of? You know. A hundred and something people working on Tumblr *laughs* that’s their job *chuckles* is to change it and make it better. You know, we try to make changes that you all ask for, we try to do changes we think you'll like and we get it right sometimes we get it wrong sometimes, but we just always learn.
ZR: Thank you for the pizza.
PM: Thank you for the piz- ? Oh yeah. Nice *chuckles*
[2:08] PM: “We asked for a better search function.”
PM: Yeah. I agree.
ZR: That’s being worked on.
PM: Search is being worked on, right?
ZR: Yup.
PM: Actually, who is working on Search here?
ZR: There they are.
PM: Okay, we got two people here *laughs* How’s it going?
*inaudible, off-screen*
PM: It’s going well.
ZR: It’s going good.
PM: Is there anything that’s launching soon that we could preview for folks?
*inaudible, off-screen*
PM: Oh, oh yeah. Getting reblogs in search. Ought to be a pretty big one.
ZR: Yeah.
PM: But a good way, if you have ideas for Search, a great thing to do is post it to your Tumblr. *chuckles. Send us a link. We'll check it out. You know, we definitely read a lot of that stuff, and we share it in our Slack channel and things like that. So, we’re always reading Tumblr and listening to users. 
ZR: Yeah. It’s a great job, we just get to use Tumblr all day long. 
[3:09] PM: “Have you seen the 44 thousand note poll about the algorithm changes?”
PM: Yes. *laughs* I don’t know what it’s about though because we haven’t really changed anything. *laughs*
ZR: Yeah, we’re not getting rid of the chronological feed.
PM: Yeah, chronological feed will always be an option for people. So just, tell your friends. *chuckles* Because there seems to be a lot of misinformation. There’s things people get mad at us that we do and there’s things people get mad at us that we’re actually not doing. *chuckles* And have no plans to do, so figure that out.
PM: How many people do we have on the stream so far? Kind of curious.
[3:52] PM: “Allow us to snooze Tumblr Live indefinitely.”
PM: But then you wouldn’t be here right now.
ZR: Hmm *chuckles*
[3:57] PM: “Can we add stories to our blogs like Instagram?”
PM: Yeah. And we actually developed a story feature over on the WordPress side of things, Jetpack side. I was kinda wondering why we did it there instead of on Tumblr. *chuckles* It does seem to be like a social primitive that users expect from different networks. So yeah, would love to support something like Stories. It’s not currently on the roadmap though, so, I should be *indistinct*
ZR: We have a question that I think already scrolled by. It’s actually from one of the people we talked to yesterday when we did our trial run.  BirdRhetorics.
[4:32] ZR: “How do you know that Tumblr is hard to use as discussed in the product direction post?”
ZR: *to Matt* How do we know Tumblr is hard to use?
PM: Oh! *laughs*
ZR: Because it is. It’s something that is-
PM: Thank you for the crab *laughs*
ZR: Oh! *laughs* Thank you. 
ZR: We talk with a lot of users and we talk with users that have returned, people who left the site. The reason they’re leaving the site is because they couldn’t find the communities they wanted. They couldn’t figure out Search, they don’t understand trying to follow people or blogs so that their following feed actually will fill up with great stuff. So we’re just trying to make that process much easier for them so that they can have the experience that long-time users have as well.
ZR: I love these crabs. 
*laughter*
[5:28] ZR: Thank you Tumblr for giving me crabs.
*laughter*
[5:33] PM: Someone says, “Would you make Live more accessible? I would stream my art but I can’t.”
PM: We’re trying to. We’ve got the OBS stuff now and you can do it from desktop. 
PM: I saw kind of a bug report there go by. Did anyone catch that? Something about links to audio posts? Did someone see that go by? Do we know what this bug is?
*indistinct, off-screen*
PM: What was that?
*indistinct, off-screen*
PM: Oh, no no no. This was about links to audio posts or something. He just reposted it? Oh, go to the bottom maybe. He just reposted- 
*indistinct, off-screen*
PM: I don’t know if I understand that one. Who was that? Tyote? If you could do a post about that and just tag Staff in it. And tag PhotoMatt *chuckles* as well, we’ll take a look at that.
PM: Oh yeah, we should say our Tumblr usernames by the way.
ZR: We should.
PM: I’m PhotoMatt. P-H-O-T-O-M-A-T-T
ZR: I am ZingRing. Z-I-N-G-R-I-N-G
PM: Cool.
[6:46] PM: Someone says “If you don’t like Tumblr Live, click around on people. Find people you vibe with”
PM: I agree. 
[6:51] ZR: We have one here. “Is Tumblr Live gonna be going international?”
ZR: Yeah, that’s part of our plan. We just recently put into place some of the steps we need in order to roll it out in other countries so…more people will be able to have access to it if they want.
[7:11] PM: Someone says “Does Tumblr Live support OBS?”
PM: Yes, it does.
ZR: Yes, it does.
PM: Woohoo.
[7:15] ZR: Here's one. “Will you be fixing the fact that you can't zoom in on images?” Who can answer that? *inaudible, off-screen* It's already fixed.
7:32 PM: What platform’s the chip on? 
[7:38] *off-screen staff member* Sorry they're probably talking about the new Lightbox feature where some zoom capabilities were different and they should now be able to pinch to zoom, tap to zoom, just as they're used to. It just rolled out, so update the app. 
PM: Awesome, so if you update your app, hopefully, zoom might be working. 
ZR: Yeah. 
PM: And definitely run your app updates. I do it every morning, it's the first thing I do.
ZR: *chuckles*
PM: Like, I look at how I slept on WHOOP, because obviously, I don't know how I slept, I just woke up. Then I update my apps. Ah, these are going by kind of fast.
[8:12] PM: “Will there be a filter to determine bot Lives from real users”
PM: Yeah, hopefully, there's no bots. So the moderation team should pick that up if there's bots.
[8:24] PM: “Could you say why 18+ content is not allowed on the site when it does so well on other platforms?”
PM: Actually, since November of last year, we updated our guidelines so a lot more artistic presentations of the human form are allowed now. So, check out the updated guidelines. They’re a lot more in line with other services 
ZR: Yeah. 
PM: It's still not everything, so there's definitely other sites if you want a particular type of more hardcore content. That's probably still going to be on Twitter or Reddit or PornHub or whatever but yeah. Because Tumblr, we want to be about art and artists and stuff like for Arts. More artistic stuff, we definitely want to allow that. 
[9:08]ZR: Yep. Here's one. “Is it difficult to handle a lot of incoming users, such as the ones from Reddit or Twitter?”
ZR: No, because we don't get huge influxes. People have this perception that we have massive growth right now and we really don't.  So we welcome everyone with open arms. I think the thing that we need to do is improve our onboarding experience so that those new users find traction right away which is part of what that very long core product post on Staff was talking about but no. That is not an issue we currently face. What a great problem to have. 
PM: By the way, I do want to recognize there was the penguin person who said Tumblr staff are heroes so…
ZR: Aw.
PM: Yay. Thank you. 
ZR: *to audience* That’s you all.
*Applause*
[10:02] PM: One thing I hope you all get from this, who are watching. One, we want to correct some misinformation. For example, chronological feed is staying. It's not going away. And two, also just show that, like, there's real people behind the screen, building Tumblr, with families and feelings and dreams and ambitions and all sorts of things. 
PM: And so yeah. We're trying to do more stuff in public. It's been a little challenging because a lot of it's getting misinterpreted and stuff, but we're just gonna keep trying to make things more public. We even just open-sourced our stream builder so like, how the main feed gets built. So hopefully we can open-source a lot more in the future. We want to engage with the developer community, third-party people doing things around Tumblr, and yeah, make it better and better.
ZR: I haven't been saying usernames as I've read some of the questions that are being sent to me from the feed so I'm really sorry about that. I'm gonna try to say the usernames.
[11:01] ZR: Tyote said “Could a grid view for the dashboard be implemented on desktop Tumblr like the search page has? I have all this extra screen space.”
ZR: We are doing some experiments with the different *chuckles* Better resourced, I guess, view of the dashboard that looks pretty great which I guess is not out to users yet. But more to come there for sure.
PM: Let's see, how many people do we have now? I can't see the number.  
*off-screen* 302.
PM: 302, cool. Okay. 
[11:45] PM: “We need hardware-level encryption.”
PM: I don't know what that means *laughs* But, okay. *laughs* Maybe we need it too, wow.
[12:02] PM: “How do you intend to help users trust the Lives, if we are keeping them?”
PM: I'm not sure if I know what that means.
ZR: I think it's a question about feeling safe using Tumblr Live. Perhaps? With data? 
*chuckles at crab*
[12:23] PM: “Let's toggle off Live without a timer”
PM: Well, Live is…we're trying it out. *laughs* And in theory, this could be something that- You know, when people send gifts, we get a portion of that revenue and so it's something we're trying to help make Tumblr sustainable and allow us to invest more into the site. For, you know, getting servers, making things faster, having staff to fix bugs.
[12:51] PM: By the way, I want to address another thing that people always say whenever we do a post.
[12:56] PM: I forget what the username was but they said “Ban the Nazis.”
PM: *chuckles* Yeah. Nazi-like hate speech is definitely against the terms of service so if you see a Nazi tell us *chuckles* and we'll ban it. The Trust and Safety team on Tumblr has done a really monumental effort over the past few years to clean things up quite a bit. There is some backlog, always, but like yeah. Please report sites if you see hate speech or anything that would be against our terms of service. Which I think literal Nazism is. *chuckles*
ZR: Yeah.
[13:36] ZR: Yep, we got another question about the algorithm style Post Feed so probably bears repeating that we're not getting rid of the chronological feed. It will be its own tab, so do not worry about that. 
[13: 57] ZR: Then we had another one about moderation, more transparent. And I've seen another question about this previously, too. Posts that should be fine under the new policies are still being tagged. That's from Yansie.
ZR: Yeah, and that shouldn't be happening. But humans do make mistakes so we try to fix them. It does take time, we do have a backlog, so bear with us. Stick with us, we'll try to do right by everybody. 
[14:27] PM: There's a question being asked a lot about LGBT content being flagged? 
PM: Yeah, Tumblr is super pro-LGBT. I think it's actually like 25 or 30 percent of our user base. So if there's a mistake in the flagging… You know, again, this is humans. So, definitely mistakes are made. Please let us know, specifically, and have to take a look at it. I wonder what the flag could have been there. 
ZR: Not sure. 
PM: Yeah.
[15:02] PM: So people are asking to mute Tumblr Live permanently. 
PM: How much would you pay for that? *chuckles* Maybe-
*laughter*
PM: Maybe we'll make it an upgrade. Twenty dollars? Fifty dollars? Like, make me an offer. We might launch that in the Tumblr mods.
*more laughter*
PM: Okay, we got 25 there. 
ZR: Going once…
PM: 500, wow! We could definitely make it giftable too. You can gift people. *chuckles* It's like an auction. 500 going once, going twice, yeah, wow.
[15:38] PM: They say “Pay streamers” 
PM: Streamers can get paid actually, yeah. So, you can make money by streaming on Tumblr Live. So, that's part of the reason we were excited to try out this feature. Yeah, we launched Post Plus and other things. We're very interested in things that can get creators paid. In fact, even as we initially acquired Tumblr and during the turnaround, we actually prioritized the features that got users paid above the features that just got us paid.
[16:06] PM: Let’s see “Why can't we take usernames from older inactive accounts?” 
PM: Anyone have an answer there? *silence* Sometimes we recycle usernames. 
ZR: Yeah, there is a process to recycle usernames. We just need a request or we don't know that you're trying to use that username.
PM: You're “going to request Karen.” Okay, good luck.
 *Laughter*
[16:40] PM: “Let Live direct stream from OBS.” 
PM:  OBS is supported for Live so maybe- Do we just need to like-? 
ZR: On web.
PM: On web. Yes, so you can use OBS. Again hopefully, this system gets a lot more people knowing what actually is the reality.
[17:00] PM: “Why is Live stuck in portrait mode?” 
PM:  I think that's just how it's designed. It's a portrait experience, right? 
ZR: Yeah, that's right.
[17:15] PM: “You can only use OBS for your virtual webcam on the web, not directly.” 
PM: Does anyone know about that? Yes.
*Gary, offscreen* OBS can set up a virtual webcam but then you tell Live to use that webcam. But… the better way to do it through OBS is through using RTMP which I think- *indistinct* 
PM: Yeah, so this is Gary. He was saying RTMP would be better and I think that's on the roadmap. 
Gary: I think it's on the roadmap. Somebody who works on Live would perhaps know better when it's coming but they're working on it. 
PM: Cool, and in the meantime, use the virtual webcam feature.
17:51 
PM: You want the pretty-haired lady on screen, all right. That’s you, Zandy.
*Applause, Laughter*
ZR: Thank you. Thank you. Oh my God, I love it, I love flowers. Thank you.
PM: And you do have great hair. 
ZR: Yeah I do. 
PM: Thank you for the compliments. Thank you.
ZR: I didn't mean to say ‘I do,’ I meant to say ‘thank you.’ Here's a good one from VampSprite.
[18:26] “Can you make merch like a normal company?” 
ZR: No, because we're not.
*Matt laughs*
ZR: We can make merch like Tumblr.
PM: I think we're definitely leaning into the weird, 
ZR: Yeah. For sure. 
PM: We're trying to be even weirder than we have been.
ZR: Let's see, uh… 
[18:44] PM: People are saying “Can we keep custom themes?” 
PM: Yes, custom themes are staying, so don't worry about that.
[18:53] PM: Someone's saying “Don't touch the chronological dashboard” so we'll just say it again, chronological will always be an option for y'all.
ZR: Yep.
PM: Yeah.
[19:05] ZR: Here's one, StormBlessed-Fool “It seems really difficult to appeal staff decisions such as shadowbans, content removal, etcetera. Can that be improved?” 
ZR: Yeah, definitely. We are working really hard to make sure that people's content is not removed if it's not violative but we do make mistakes and we have a backlog so it takes us a while, sometimes, to realize that we have made a mistake. That's on us and we're getting better. We have a really amazing Trust and Safety team that's been working really, really hard over the last couple of years to operationalize and improve and make this a better place for Tumblr users so bear with us. I am sorry.
[19:52] PM: I don't know who Peggy is. *laughs* I guess a lot of people don't like- Peggy seems very polarizing but we don't know who she is or who they are. It's a spam account? “Peg is a troll. It keeps coming back on here on Live.” Oh. 
ZR: Oh. 
PM: Well I bet we can fix that. 
ZR: I bet we could fix that. 
PM: *chuckles* Watch out, Peggy.
*Laughter*
PM: By the way, I think I'm gonna just move my chair closer to yours then they don't have to pan the camera as much. 
ZR: Okay 
PM: The pretty-haired lady can be in everything.
ZR: Ooh
[20:33] ZR: “Mind if I ask” This is from WarriorPrincess666 which is a really great username “Mind if I ask why the group chat room was deleted two years ago?” 
ZR: And you all have really great usernames. I am sorry for singling one person out.
PM: Just own it, that's a cool username.
ZR: It's a good username.  I do not remember why we unwound- 
PM: Because no one was using it. *chuckles* I think we had really high expectations for that feature and it was used a lot less. We do try to deprecate things that aren't used a lot to just, like lower the technical debt so… Yeah, now we're both in there. 
ZR: Hooray
PM: High five.
ZR: We moved a chair. 
PM: We moved a chair. 
ZR: We can move mountains.
PM: *chuckles* Yeah. So, one thing about products and code is that every bit of code you have kind of requires maintenance and updating and, you know, sometimes things break. Or interacts in different ways. So the more complex the code base is, the harder it is to maintain. We're not great about this but- Yeah, streamlining the product you know… Someone always uses something but if something's used by just a really really really small percentage we sometimes streamline it. But I think Group is really the only thing we've done that for in a while, right? 
ZR: Mm-hmm.
PM: Can y'all think of anything else we've turned off or gotten rid of? Mostly we add things. 
ZR: Yeah 
PM: That's why the Tumblr code base is so big.
ZR: And complex.
[22:06] ZR: Re-bee-key asked about merch. “Is there any way Tumblr could team up with more artists? I'm sure people would be more open to buying merch.” 
ZR: Yeah, absolutely, and not everybody knows about this but we have this program called Creatrs. There's no O at the end, it's T-R-S at the end, Creatrs. That is where we look to artists within the Tumblr Community when brands want to work with us. We try to find people within our own Community who would like to work directly with that brand, get their work out there, build a relationship, and then we try to foster that connection. So, that is a program that not very many people know about and it's been kind of small running over the last couple years, and we want to build it back up and connect artists with brands, those who want to work with them. So, definitely want to amplify the artists on our site in ways that will work for them.
PM: Yeah. People are asking about search and we addressed that a little bit earlier. We do have some folks working on search and there's fixes coming. 
[23:23] PM: There was someone named Anon that's, you know, saying that we're missing LGB tags or something like that so could someone message Anon? Like, DM them? Raise your hand if you could do that.
PM: Yes? Okay, over there? Thank you. 
ZR: Thanks, Josh. 
PM: Thanks, Josh. So Josh is gonna reach out to Anon and we'll try to get some more details there so we can yeah see what's going on. 
ZR: That- that might be coming from the Humans account. It may, just so you know. 
PM: Maybe also message TittyInfinity *chuckles* who's also reporting this. I can't believe you all just got me to say that. *laughs* I hope my mom’s not watching.
ZR: Here’s one from WormPool. Another very good username.
[24:14] “How much is coming in the way of future monetization and how will it affect the average user.”
ZR:  Well, we must monetize Tumblr in some way. We have to either get to revenue neutral, where we make enough to just pay for itself. It would be nice if it made money but we're gonna do what we need to do. We don't want to do things like sell user data or make the site unusable with tons and tons of ads. So, we're going to keep experimenting with different ways to provide value to users. Matt mentioned earlier that we're trying to do more in terms of getting artists paid on the site, like Post Plus. And you know, you can give people gifts through Tumblr Live if you like what they're doing with it. So we're trying to do more things that sort of fall into that area where we can have a revenue share sort of thing. But we're also doing merch and we're selling domains. We have an ad-free subscription, we sell badges, other digital goods. We'll kind of look at everything but there's some rivers we just won't cross because we don't agree with them.
PM: And, to be honest, it has been a little tricky. A lot of the upgrades we launched, just not as many people have subscribed as we were hoping to.
ZR: Yeah. 
PM: Like, we thought the no-ads upgrade, which is 30 bucks per year, would do pretty well but how many subscribers do we have for no-ads?
*offscreen* Almost 25 thousand.
PM: About 25 thousand so when you think of the millions of people that use Tumblr only 25 thousand buying the upgrade is pretty low. You can buy it for yourself, you can gift it to people. That definitely helps. To be transparent about the financial gap I think maybe David knows this. Like, what's our current- What would get us to break even? It's like 20, 25 million or-
*indistinct, off-screen*
PM: Yeah, so right now, we're burning. Which means spending more than we make. About 30 million per year more than we make. 
ZR: Yeah. 
PM: So, that's a lot. We can't do that forever and so that's why we're really trying to figure out things that y'all would value. Whether that's merch or upgrades or badges or gifts or Blaze or other things. Every little bit helps, so please if you really enjoy Tumblr and want it to stay a thriving service buy things, and ask your friends to buy things.
ZR: Yeah, we've got one here that I really like.
[27:12] Somebody write it down, from VForVincente. “Re: merch. Make socks that come in trios instead of pairs.” 
*audience enthusiasm*
ZR: Let's do that.
PM: *laughs* Triple socks. Oh, that is- that's an idea. 
ZR: It is. It is an idea.
*off-screen* It’s a backup sock.
PM: It's a backup sock. 
ZR: It’s a backup, you always lose one.
[27:38] Anonymous asked, “Any plans for next April the 1st?” 
ZR: Yes, but we won't know until, like, February.
PM: *chuckles* Someone registered PhotoMattsMom and said “I heard what you said.” That's funny. Y'all are funny. I can't believe you just created an account. Thank you for helping our registration numbers.
[28:01] ZR: *chuckles* Well, people are asking if the Live stream can be recorded. 
ZR: You actually can't do that, they're totally ephemeral. That might be something that we can work on in the future but it actually isn't even possible for us right now. We don't store them they're just- 
PM: Are we recording this one though? No? So this is- yeah. 
ZR: Yeah. 
PM: This is ephemeral.
ZR: Yeah. 
PM: So it's just for y’all. Just for the 500-ish people here. Whoa, what's that say? Boujee? 
ZR: Oh.
PM: Ooh. Bling bling. 
ZR: *chuckles* That’s a weird gift to give. 
PM: We probably just should have had someone record this on their phone or something *chuckles* Next time. This was just an experiment. Well, we might do this again.
[28:54] ZR: ArialErendeair asked “Is your plan to remain as open about future decisions that you're making for the Tumblr experience so we can provide feedback?”
ZR: Yeah, we do, we want to work in public a lot more. The core strategy post that went out yesterday is a step in that direction. In retrospect, we see how we could have improved on that messaging so it wasn't terrifying to everybody. Because we're not getting rid of the chronological feed. And could have made it a little bit more, like, punchy and maybe short. But, yeah, we're gonna try to keep doing this and do it more in public because Tumblr only exists because of the users. That's it, so we want to be in this journey with you.
PM: Yeah. Please tell your friends that chronological feed will always be an option. So yes, a lot of people- Oh thank you for the kiss there *Matt smooch sound*
ZR: I think it was for me. 
PM: Oh. *laughs* Yeah, probably.
[30:03] PM: “How much are we paying the boys that come here and post emojis?” 
PM: Nothing. 
ZR: No.
PM: Unless they use Post Plus or something. Then they can get paid.
[30:14] ZR: DimensionalAbyss. I'm really sorry for butchering all these “How long is this going on? Please do a sleep stream.”
ZR: Absolutely not.
*laughter*
PM: What's a sleep stream?
ZR: It sounds like you stream yourself sleeping. 
PM: Huh.
ZR: You can do it. I'm not doing it. 
PM: I actually talk a lot in my sleep. That would be weird. 
[30: 38] ZR: I'm not gonna choose this one just for the username but IntergalacticBoner asked “Any plans to expand the Help Desk? It can take more than a week to get a response from support.”
ZR: We are working all of the time to improve our processes. We have an amazing customer support team. We have amazing folks from within Automattic that help us with public support so we are trying to cut those SLAs down. An SLA is a Service Level Agreement. That's like what we promise to users as a response time. So we try to cut those response times down as much as we can. A week does seem like a long time. We can improve on that. Yeah, thank you IntergalacticBoner.
[31:34] PM: “Can we keep reblogs as they are and not condense them?” 
PM: We're gonna just do some experiments with the different reblog formats and everything like that. I know that sounds scary but we also use Tumblr so if it doesn't work we'll roll it back or try something new. Everything's always a process, everything's always an experiment. Yay, Pride. 
ZR: Yay.
[32:02] ZR: Trydianth asks “I buy the ad-free subscription. Can that also include other options like turning off features not like” which I think is ‘that I don't like.’
PM: Maybe, yeah. I mean, one thing that's tricky is when you add options for things it can add a lot of complexity to the app but, if you notice, a lot of the things that we've launched, we have given toggles for settings for so, in general, we're trying to be the most sort of user-controllable social network out there. And just, if we can, yeah. We'll keep trying that but, like we said, our previous approach is not working. *chuckles* I mean that Tumblr’s growth isn't where we want it to be and the revenue is not, you know. Like I said, we're 30 million below where the revenue needs to be so that's why we're trying different things to see what works.
ZR: Mm-hmm.
[32:58] ZR: “Re: Custom domains.” This is from transientURL “Do we expect to be able to host a Tumblr blog on the same domain as non-Tumblr site content?”
ZR: Salty. 
*Matt chuckles*
ZR:  I'm not sure I'm parsing that question.
PM:  Can you embed a Tumblr blog and something with other stuff probably? Or maybe it's custom domains um-
*indistinct, off-screen*
PM: Second-level domains? What would be a second-level domain? Like a sub- like a subdomain? *indistinct, off-screen*
PM: Like blog dot M-A dot T-V or something? Yeah, yeah. Um yeah, definitely domain features are something we're working on and investing in. 
ZR: Mm-hmm.
 PM: It’s probably gonna be paid. Just so you all know. 
ZR: Mm-hmm.
PM: We charge for domain mapping everything on WordPress dot com and I think we have like 300 thousand map domains so we definitely think that's going to be a good revenue stream.
[34:09] PM: “Tumblr Live is banned in Europe” 
PM: It's actually not banned in Europe. We just haven't launched support in Europe yet so it's not banned that's misinformation 
ZR: Yeah. And to be clear we collect the absolute minimum amount of information. We collect birth date, because you need to be over 18. And location, so that we know if you're in the US or not. And I think that's it. That's the only thing that we collect in terms of Live. We let you stream from the back camera so you never have to show your face. All the streams are ephemeral, so we don't save them. There's a lot that we try to do in the best possible way for our users' safety and health rather than just collect tons of things that get stored or that we might have to delete or be worried about.
PM: Whoa. Eagle thing, cool 
PM: Very patriotic.
ZR: It's very something. 
[35:18] PM: Someone’s asked why we need location.
PM: Zandy just said it. We need location because right now it's restricted to the United States so we need the location to tell between the United States.
ZR: Yeah.
PM: But hopefully that should be broader in the future. Also, sometimes that data that we collect helps us fight spammers and bots so that's another reason you sort of have some of that. 
[35:43] ZR: WormPool, repeat question asker. “Would there be a way to directly donate occasionally, similar to AO3 or Wikipedia, rather than buy merch?” 
ZR: We have talked about this, yeah. I thought for a while we couldn't legally because we're not a non-profit but we can, legally. So that's an option that we may look into in the future.
PM: In the meantime though, like buy the no-ads upgrade, yeah. Probably a good one.
ZR: And you can, if you really like the ads, you can turn off the no-ads upgrade 
PM: Yeah. 
ZR: After you buy it.
PM: That's how much we believe in user control, you can buy the no-ads upgrade and then turn the ads back on. Or you could just turn Blaze post on, which I really like.  So I have the no ads upgrade but I actually turn ads on because I want to test them. *chuckles* Make sure they're good.
[36:36] ZR: Here's another one that's interesting. This is transientURL again “I've seen a lot of people worrying that, like Reddit, Tumblr has external investor pressure to monetize. Want to refute or talk about that?”
PM: Yeah, of course, we have investors. We’re a company and if we didn't have investors we wouldn't be able to spend 30 million a year *chuckles* on Tumblr. It's not just about the investors though. When we work on something we want to see the returns on it, and we want to make sure it's sustainable so that we can make sure that Tumblr’s around for many years to come. So, that's really our main focus.
[37:19] ZR: Mm-hmm. ShadowGirl7, this is one for our ads team “Can you please not have ads be super vibrant? It's really an eyesore for epileptics like me especially when there's no way to stop it” So take note, yeah. 
PM: And maybe buy the no-ads upgrade. *chuckles* Because then you won't see them at all.
ZR: Or ask someone to gift you. 
[37:40] PM: A lot of people are asking about multiple dashboards. And I do think account switching, which I guess would give you multiple dashboards, different following, being able to do actions with different accounts is definitely pretty high on my personal list for things I'd love to see Tumblr support. Pretty big feature, pretty complicated. But yeah. We just need to bite the elephant there. Was that a metaphor? Maybe I just made that up. 
ZR: I don't think you should bite an elephant.
PM: *laughs* Would they notice?
ZR: Probably not.
[38:13] ZR: Oh, FeetAreUnderrated asked, “How large is the Tumblr staff?”
ZR: We have nearly everybody here with us this week and we have 192 people here this week so it's about 200. That's it, yeah. 
PM: Yeah, that's a much better answer. I was going to say, you know, it ranges from extra small to extra extra large. 
ZR: *laughs* You literally posted, like, yesterday about how many people we have. 
PM: Yeah. Oh, that's true. Yeah, wow. Yeah, so I think we have 192 people here together in person, which is pretty exciting.  For 59 percent of the people that are here, they've never been to a large meet-up like this so it's our first time getting to see each other. 
For those who don't know, Automattic, which is the parent company of Tumblr, and Tumblr are fully distributed so people work from wherever they are in the world. And we mostly coordinate online. But getting together a few times a year is really key to sort of working, knowing each other better, developing our culture, making plans, learning from each other.
You can actually be hired at Automattic with never actually talking to someone. Actually who here was hired purely on text? *chuckles* Yeah, so that's a good chunk. It was like about a quarter of the audience was just chatting on text. 
ZR: Mm-hmm
PM: Which is pretty interesting and I actually did kind of the first thousand final interviews. We called them MattChats. But then we were hiring a lot of people and I became a *indistinct* so I had to stop doing that. 
Although, I had an idea the other day actually inspired by a donut shed I had for… missing the name but who was it? Well, he was telling me that, I guess he read about the MattChat and he was really disappointed he didn't get one. So I thought that for existing Automatticians we put up something in announcements. You could leave an emoji if you want to MattChat. *laughs* Don't worry, doesn't actually- *chuckles* You're already hired, so it doesn't change that. But I thought we could do two options. It could just be, like, more of a donut where we just hang out and, um. Or if you want a classic-style text one, I still have all the questions I ask and everything. I kind of had a little bit of a format. I would vary it but I had some sort of standard questions I like to ask people.
One of my favorites was ‘If you could require all of Automattic to read a single book what would that be?’ And they got so many different answers and I actually used it to read a bunch. So the books that people would recommend, I would often check out, and really led me down some really interesting things I never would have read otherwise. That's how I read the ‘Bhagavad Gita.’ There was a sort of an interpretation called ‘My Gita,’ which I really learned a lot from that. And, so yeah. It's been kind of a fun thing. It's always been on my to-do to, like, actually collate all the answers. There were some common ones. What was it ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ was a really common one. Who's that guy, the author? David Allen or something or- 
ZR: Yeah.
PM: Covey. Yeah, Stephen Covey.
[41:54] ZR: Here's a question. JasmineFlowers or maybe Yasmin Flowers “Are all of you new to Tumblr?” 
ZR: No. 
PM: No, I was actually a super early Tumblr user.
ZR: Yeah, we have a lot of people here in the audience, that you can't see, who have been users of Tumblr for as long as there's been a Tumblr. 
PM: Yeah. Can someone look up my user ID, actually? I'm kind of curious. David, of course, is user id1 *chuckles*
ZR: Right. 
PM: David Karp, the illustrious founder of Tumblr, yeah. 
*offscreen* Today it's five.
PM: My user number is five?
*indistinct, offscreen*
PM: Yeah, yeah, my WordPress user ID is five. 
ZR: That makes more sense. 
PM: I think Danica is number one. But yeah, look me up in the Tumblr panel. 
*indistinct, off-screen*
PM: What was that? 
*indistinct, off-screen*
PM: So I was the 2007th user of Tumblr. *chuckles*
*indistinct, off-screen*
PM: Oh year 2007. 72078. Yeah, so seventy-two thousand. Yeah, so one of the first that was definitely pretty early. Because Tumblr launched in 2007, right? Yeah. Actually, interesting fact. Tumblr used to have a blog on WordPress. Which I thought was pretty cool for its first X number of years. Even though Tumblr and WordPress used to be competitors, we always had a lot of respect for each other. I always took a lot of inspiration from Tumblr and I'm really glad to be able to work on it now.
[43:33] ZR: There's one addressed directly to you. UnadulteratedPenguinCreation says, “Hey Matt do you read fanfiction?”
PM: Oh no. Sorry. Sometimes, I've been linked things and I'll browse it and sometimes there's memes and I'm always trying to figure out what they are. You know I only get so much time to read books so I definitely have a pretty huge backlog. Right now I'm reading Alain de Botton’s uh ‘School of Life’ which is really nice. Probably next I'm gonna read the next book in the ‘Silo’ series, Hugh Howey’s. 
ZR: I read fanfiction, not that anyone asked me. 
PM: Any favorites? Anything you want to suggest? 
ZR: No. No, I'm not gonna suggest anything. That is for me, on my time 
[44:37] ZR: From Maiosx “What is the best blog on Tumblr?”
ZR: Oh, there's so many good ones. 
PM: I really like @everythingfox. 
ZR: Oh yeah, that's so cute. 
PM: Yeah, cute animals. 
ZR: Yep. 
PM: I don't know if it's the best one but yeah. I actually would love to have, like, folders or ways I could have different lists of things I follow because my feed is a little schizo. It definitely bounces around a lot and I do really appreciate some new features. Like, ‘Things You Might Have Missed’ or other things because I would find I would actually miss a post from my friends who might only post once every week or two or something and so I really appreciated that I-
*indistinct, off-screen*
PM: Sorry, what was that? How much money am I willing to pay for not missing my-? Well, 30 million so far *laughs* per year. Paying a lot for it. *chuckles*
[45:33] ZR: We've been getting a question here that's surfaced “Can we talk about the reblog chain thing?” “Can the removal of reblog chains be an optional feature rather than a permanent one?” 
ZR: We made some changes to the reblog chain so that things were more consistent across all platforms and would work more like you would expect them to work. Unless you have used Tumblr for a really long time. So, everything we do is an experiment. We try things, we see how well they work, functionally, if people actually will use them. And then we make changes and adjustments and some you can see right away and some you can't see right away. Some we have to put on the shelf and revisit later, as other priorities come up. But any change that we make, I wouldn't consider 100 percent set in stone. Except that we are not getting rid of the chronological feed. As a reminder. 
PM: I'm gonna actually open Tumblr. I'm kind of curious what the banner looks like for this. Live with the Tumblr CEO, cool. Oh, joining stream. 
ZR: Uh-oh
PM: Inception
[47:03] ZR: LMFAO said, “Do you see streaming to become the main part of Tumblr going forward?”
ZR: I don't know, it's another experiment. If it was insanely popular and people were doing really cool things with it very consistently at a high quality, sure. But it doesn't have high usage right now so it's probably just gonna be something that we continue to play with and experiment with until it either clicks or we go a different way.
PM: By the way, I saw someone said I casually used a slur.  Was that schizo? 
ZR: Oh, I bet it was.
PM: I apologize, I mess up sometimes. So I won’t do that again. 
ZR: Thank you.
PM: Thank you for pointing that out to me.
[47:50] PM: “Are there any LGBT people or neurodivergent folks helping make decisions”
PM: Oh yeah *laughs* We have a ton.
ZR: Yeah.
[48:02] ZR: The-Trans-Fiendling. “Are you going to fix your algorithms so they don't disproportionately target trans users to flag them as mature?” 
ZR: We will check into it, make sure that isn’t happening. Or, if it is, that we’ll make changes.  We definitely do not want to marginalize trans people, push them off the site, make them feel like this is not the place for them. That's not what Tumblr is about so wherever we have screwed up we'll try to fix it and make sure that perception matches reality as well.
[48:50] PM: “It's basically a stockholder update, it's not going to be entertaining.” 
PM: Huh, that's funny.
[49:00] PM: So, I saw someone ask an interesting question. Sorry, I missed the username, but “How do we balance attracting new users versus supporting features that other social network sites support?”
PM: This is actually a really interesting product to design because I do think that there is an expectation. Like, obviously y’all probably also have or have used Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, Snap, all the other social networks. And I do think there is an expectation around certain things, like maybe messaging or following, liking, whatever that we need to support. Tumblr has always been sort of on the forefront of innovating, actually, for social networks. So a lot of things that we launched first are later adopted by other social networks. So, I think that's just kind of how technology works, right? Sometimes, we come up with a cool new idea and other people copy us. Sometimes, other people come up with cool ideas, and we can be inspired by that. Maybe we implement it like they did or maybe we riff on it and sort of do our own take on it. It's part of the fun.
[50:05] PM: “What's your favorite XKit feature?” 
PM:  Do we have April here, actually? 
*off-screen* No.
ZR: No. 
PM: No? Aw, she couldn’t make it. Yeah, April, one of the XKit-  there's multiple versions of XKit, right? Which one does she do? I forget the name but, yeah, actually one of the developers of XKit now works on Tumblr. So I think that's pretty cool.
[50:30] ZR: HomemadeMonsterPants, killing it. “What's the best method of sending feedback?” 
ZR: If you have an actual like you found a bug or something is broken, which is the same as a bug, uh send a ticket to Support. If there's things that you just want to give us feedback on you can ping our Work in Progress, WIP group. There's our Humans- @humans blog. You can send me stuff, you can send Matt stuff.  When I get stuff that's particularly hateful, I do ignore it. So, if you have a point you really want to make, try not to skew too heavily into how much you hate me personally, and then I'll try to address it publicly. 
PM: You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, is that the saying?
ZR: That's- I don't know why you want to catch flies at all.
PM: “Can you remind us of your usernames?” Sure PhotoMatt P-H-O-T-O-M-A-T-T 
ZR: And I'm ZingRing, Z-I-N-G-R-I-N-G
[51: 47] ZR: LiveThrowaway, “Have you considered improving the way you orient new users to Tumblr's unique features.” 
ZR: Yes, that's something we want to do. We want to keep what's special about Tumblr and what makes it so great, enhance those things. Which is not code for making Tumblr like every other social media site. Enhance those things, but also make it super easy and obvious for new users to get going really quickly with the communities that they care about and the content they care about.
[52:20] PM: Someone said why we're focusing on new users versus existing users? 
PM: We focus on both. 
ZR: Yeah. 
PM: Retention is just as important as new user acquisition. Anyone will tell you that.
ZR: Yeah. Yeah, we look at churn, we look at how many users are coming back, you know, at two days, three days, seven days, thirty days. We want the experience to be really good for both those groups, including the people who have been here with us since the very beginning. I don't think that improving things for new users is mutually exclusive. Like, we can make things good for existing users too, and improve that experience as well. Or give them more options to enjoy Tumblr the way that they would like to.
[53:07] PM: “…be a badge for people who've been here for a certain amount of time?” 
PM: Yeah, I think we'll definitely do badges for tenure. I think that's pretty cool.
ZR: Actually I think that's, well…
PM: What's that? 
ZR: More to come. 
PM: More to come, yeah. Excited for more badges, yeah.
[53:23] PM: “Are custom themes staying around?” 
PM: Yes, they are. Chronological feeds and custom themes are staying around. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. *chuckles*
[53:35] ZR: Karennnnn said, three, four Ns at the end of that “I would like to have music play in the background of my blog, kind of like Myspace.” 
ZR: Right on.
PM: You can do that on a custom theme, right? If you do some HTML, you could autoplay some music.
*offscreen* Yes
ZR: Yes. 
PM: Yeah.
[53:58] ZR: WolvesAndVisions, “Have you all considered going to conventions to advertise in the host booths?” 
ZR: We have.
PM: Yeah, weren’t we just-? Didn’t we do one?
ZR: We were just somewhere. We were at Vidcon. I think we’re going to ComicCon
PM: Ooh.
ZR: New York ComicCon, we'll be there. 
PM: Nice, I saw some thumbs up over there. Yeah.
ZR: Our amazing team. 
PM: You “would love to host a Tumblr con?” Cool, I'll go to it. 
ZR: Yeah, what's your address? *Laughter* We'll be right there.
PM: I do want to do more events in our office space in New York City. Yeah, try to host happy hours, Tumblr meet and greets. There's also a really cool coffee shop downstairs called Cafe Lyria and I think that I want to do some sort of integration with them. Or, like, if you've posted to your Tumblr the past day you get a 10 percent discount or something. 
[54:54] ZR: SpectralVulture asks “Where is the ball pit?” 
ZR: You can't see it, it's in a room just off stage that way. 
PM: Oh, really? It was on stage a minute ago. It's kind of small though. It was kind of a-
ZR: It was a nod. It's a nod to a ball pit. 
PM: It was a nod to the ball pit, yeah. I think Gary might be getting it. Someone maybe hold the door for him.
[55:18] ZR: Catboy-Dysphoria. “Are there any changes being considered for side blogs? Ideas for improving them or just changes.”
ZR: We know that side blogs and that whole experience is really uneven and not that great so that is something we would like to improve. Make them more like first-class citizens on the site rather than-
PM: You asked for it. Tada!
ZR: There it is. 
*Applause, laughter*
PM: That's a ball bucket. Yeah, it honestly is. Maybe I can juggle. 
ZR: This is making me very uncomfortable. 
PM: Not so much. Sorry, we're not real entertainers. We just make software. 
ZR: Yeah, we are not good at this. 
PM: We should also show them the Tumblr blankets. Can someone grab me one of those or hold it up? We have some super cool swag just for people who are here at the meet-up. They're out? There's some in here. But I don't wanna- then the balls might fall down. Anyone have a spare blanket on them? No. We'll get one. 
ZR: Oh there's some, if you look at the #staffcon2023 tag, some people have posted their blankets that they got here.  We're at time, but I want to do one more. 
PM: Sure, yeah, and then we'll wrap it up there. By the way, thank you everyone for joining. Oh gosh, I guess we're up to 765 now. Wow, so cool. 
[56:56] ZR: That is really cool. It's a streamer, Tumblr Live question from Tyote. Sorry if I'm saying it wrong. “Could it ever be possible for streamers to share one Tumblr Live instance to collaborate?”
ZR: Maybe not the way you're thinking. I'm not sure. We do have an option for two streamers to be on screen at the same time so that does exist. If that's what you're looking for, yes, we have that. And, if you're thinking of something else, then you might need to send in a more detailed request. 
PM: Cool, well thank you all. Also, thank you for all these gifts. 
ZR: Yeah, they’re very fun.
PM: Okay wow, UFOs now.
ZR: Yeah
PM: Was that a- wow! We just abducted a fox or something. 
ZR: More crabs. 
PM: *chuckles*
ZR: *gasps* Oh
PM: A turkey- 
ZR: That's dark. 
PM: -In the oven *laughs* I guess it’s escaping, yeah.
ZR: Yay, I like that one.
PM: Thank you all for joining. This was an experiment.
ZR: Yeah. 
PM: We might do it again, I don't know. We’ll see. We'll talk about it afterward. What do you all think? Should we do one of these again?
*applause*
ZR: Alright, sounds good.
PM: And also, we'll figure out how to record it so we can post it for people who couldn’t be here and other things that are-
ZR: Not in this country 
PM: Cool, yeah. Thank you all for using Tumblr. Thank you for believing in us. Thank you for being passionate about it. Thank you for the feedback and we will do our darndest to make the best possible product for y'all. 
ZR: Yeah. Keep caring.
PM: Alright, bye-bye.
*applause*
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morallyinept · 3 months
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A full transcribe of COMANDANTE VERACRUZ'S dialogue/lines from the film BURN NOTICE: THE FALL OF SAM AXE
Includes full dialogue, and dialogue from any deleted/additional scenes available.
I've created this as a point of reference when writing for Pedro's characters, and I hope you find it useful. Even if you just want to read the dialogue. 🖤
FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE
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☝🏻Dialogue has been fully transcribed by myself using reference to original scripts (if available), audio subtitles and using my own two ears. Therefore, mistakes can be made, however I have tried to be as fully accurate as I can. If you spot an obvious mistake, please kindly let me know. Where audio is not clear, I have marked with *inaudible* Scenes are separated for ease of reference.
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FULL SCRIPT DIALOGUE:
It is a pleasure, Commander Axe! 
I believe we have mutual acquaintances, trained at the School of the Americas in 92’. 
No, no, no, you mean “The Terror”, of course. 
We have intelligence that Espada Ardiente is planning to attack an international clinic run by a group called “Doctors for All.”
Unfortunately, yes. Until now they have stayed clear of civilian targets, the clinic sits in a strategic pass in the mountains. We believe the terrorists want to use it to take control of that region. 
Fantastic, please. 
__________________
I’m sorry doctor, but our intelligence indicates there may be an attack. 
That would be best. We can give you until tomorrow-
__________________
She may be with one of the terrorists. We caught her sneaking into one of the trucks. 
Of course. Of course, of course… (In Spanish) Let her go. Sorry, miss. 
We will make camp nearby. If there is an attack, we will be ready. 
__________________
Fantastic. Perhaps you would like to relax, eat some supper? My men and I are going to scout the area. 
Actually, señor. It is better if you stay here. 
Oh, I am sure you can, Commander Axe, but I am responsible for your safety. If we make contact with the terrorists we will come for you immediately. 
__________________
We destroy the clinic. And I shoot the American in the head. 
__________________
Did you hear anything else?
It’s okay, you still have an important role to this mission, señor Garcia. When I tell the Americans what happened, I will say you bravely tried to fight off the Espada Ardiente. But sadly, you were killed. 
Throw his body in the ravine and take pictures for the report. 
With the American gone, there’s no use waiting. We will destroy the clinic ourselves and make the report. 
__________________
(In Spanish) Who fired?
(In Spanish) Who fired? I didn’t give the order to fire! 
__________________
How did you escape?
We searched for you everywhere. When the terrorists blew up the clinic, we feared the worst. 
Yes, they are. Now you see why we need your help fighting this menace. 
Excellent. Good to have you back, Commander Axe. 
(In Spanish) Let him finish cleaning up. We’ll gather the men. 
__________________
The men are ready. We should start looking for the terrorists before they have time to move.
__________________
(In Spanish) Hola, señor Axe. 
What is the delay?
Yes, I can see. You… are an excellent tracker. You are also an excellent liar. 
I just spoke with Department Governor Perez. His men intercepted your call an hour ago. I… I am hurt you think so little of me. You honestly thought I would take no precautions? 
No. 
No, I don’t think it is a misunderstanding. I think I understand very well. Now… show me where they are on the map. 
I might. I might not. The question is whether you want to die here or keep breathing a bit longer and hope you prove useful enough to save. Show me where the camp is. If you are wrong, I’ll put a bullet in your brain and maybe that will help you remember. 
(In Spanish) Where are you? Get over here!
__________________
(In Spanish) We think they’re hiding in a building in the valley. 
(In Spanish) Whatever it is, it will be gone shortly. 
__________________
(In Spanish) Why are they stopping?
__________________
(In Spanish) Tell the men to stop shooting. 
(In Spanish) Do it!
(In Spanish) You hear that? They’re barely shooting. Attack! 
__________________
(In Spanish) It looks undefended. We should be able to destroy… What the hell? 
(In Spanish) It’s the American… 
Our surrender? Is that supposed to be funny?
Count a dozen men with old rifles. Farmers by the looks of them. 
You’re bluffing. 
We should finish him. 
(In Spanish) Get out! Get out of the trucks now! 
__________________
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DELETED SCENE:
(In Spanish) Have the men spread out. On my signal…. we move out. 
Shoot them. 
We have a job to do, Capitan. We were asked to supply a massacre. Is there a problem? 
__________________
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FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE
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sunshine-overload · 1 month
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[BSTS] Taiga Crane Game 4* Card Story
ran pov
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chapter 1 -game centre-
saki: (Unei-san told me that a cast member had left a message that they’d like me to meet them here…)
taiga: Looks like they’ve installed a new action controller over there… Hweheh, it was worth coming to the first day of play testing. Next I’ll try a different combination of attacks~….
-saki walks over to him-
saki: Taiga-san, sorry for making you wait.
taiga: Saki-san…? Wasn’t expecting to see you here, what a coincidence.
saki: Coincidence…? You mean you weren’t the one that left that message asking for me to come here?
taiga: Message? Nope, that wasn’t—
-ran appears-
ran: It was me, me! I’m the one who left it! I was the one who called ya out here, Nee-chan. Actually, why are ya even here Taiga? Are ya bein’ all clingy actin’ like you’re her boyfriend or somethin’?
taiga: Scary, he just picked a fight with me as easily as he breathed. I’m here because an arcade version of a mobile game I play just came out, that’s all.
saki: So you play arcade games as well as phone games, Taiga-san?
taiga: Yeah, I guess. I play a bit of everything really. Despite being the same game there’s different skills in the arcade version compared to the mobile version… Like the cabinet that’s being play tested here for example has a rare special skill that’s only available in the arcade version. But well, if there’s anything about game’s you want to know more about just let me know.
saki: You sure know a lot, Taiga-san. It’s reassuring having you here.
ran: When ya played that fightin’ game way back I remember that ya lost hopelessly though~!*
taiga: That’s because my opponent was an anomaly.
ran: Oh really~? Makin’ excuses is lame ya know.
taiga: I mean, if you had been my opponent I definitely wouldn’t have lost.
ran: What was that just now? I don’t think I heard ya correctly?
taiga: I said that if it were a match between you and me, my victory would be guaranteed. My experience level is simply that much higher than yours.
ran: Damn you’re really talkin’ yourself up, aren’t ya? A match that uneven wouldn’t be fun at all! If ya wanna go then let’s have a crane game showdown!
taiga: Huh? I mean that’s fine too, but why the crane games?
ran: I have some tricks up my sleeve too.
taiga: Well whatever it is there’s no way in hell I’m losing. 
saki: (It suddenly became a competition…)
ran: I’m definitely gonna take out the win, so make sure ya watch me, Nee-chan!
taiga: Is it not obvious that I’m gonna win? Saki-san can be our witness then.
saki: Umm… Then, Ran-san, Taiga-san, do your best!
(*note: I think they’re referring to the trick or truth event story where taiga lost to gui in a fighting game)
-
chapter 2 -game centre-
taiga: When it comes to games there’s no way I’m gonna lose. I’ll show Ran that I can win this contest.
saki: Good luck!
taiga: My first target will be those boxes of sweets. It’s the most suitable for working out the specifics of how the crane’s arm and claw works. It’s an important factor you need to check.
saki: Those look like they’d be really hard to pick up… The box is smooth so it would slip easily.
taiga: That’s exactly why I’m going for them. Ah well, you’ll understand in a minute. Watch closely now.
-taiga starts playing the crane game-
taiga: Let’s see, for the horizontal placement… about there should be good. And then then… about that far back. Perfect. Go, Crane-chan!
-cg
taiga: Heck yeah!
saki: Yay, it picked the box up! Ah, but it looks like it might fall!
taiga: Don’t worry, this is all according to plan.
saki: It slipped out…? Amazing, you really did get it!
taiga: The centre of gravity on these kinds of boxes is right in the middle. However, if you position the claw in a way that’s slightly off centre, then they’ll slip and fall right into the prize collection shoot as you saw. Well, this is just scratching the surface of kinds of the techniques you can use. Here, you can take the prize.
saki: Thank you. I’m happy to receive a gift from you.
taiga: …….
taiga: I think I’ll try this machine again.
saki: Hm? Are you sure?
taiga: Yeah, it’s easy mode. It’s always convenient having some snacks around. I can munch on them whilst messing around on my computer… By the way, is there a specific kind that you want in there?
-time pass-
saki: Woah, you’ve won so many! You really are great at this. I wonder how your competition with Ran-san will pan out?
taiga: Competition…? Oh right, that was a thing. He started it didn’t he? At first I just didn’t want to lose to Ran, but then I started thinking that as long as you’re enjoying yourself then I’m a winner either way.
—end
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1americanconservative · 4 months
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To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable."
Oscar Wilde   "The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for."  Will Rogers   "We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars –more and more repairs and replacements are necessary."  C.S. Lewis   "Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." Golda Meir   "I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued."  Bill Dane   "The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. Mark Twain   "Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." Tom Wilson    "Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home." Phyllis Diller   "I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." Rita Rudner  
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do."
 Phyllis Diller
 “Nice to be here? At my age, it’s nice to be anywhere." 
 George Burns
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get backup" 
John Wagner
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down."
 Leo Rosenberg
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” 
 Kitty O’Neill Collins
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” 
 Robert Orben
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." 
Unknown
"At my age, flowers scare me." 
George Burns
“I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed."
 Unknown
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all."
Ann Landers
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. 
When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. 
Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile."
George Burns
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past."
 Robert Brault
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget."
 Unknown
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."
Sir Norman Wisdom
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.”
Andy Rooney
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”
 Larry Lorenzon
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” 
Lee Trevino
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead."
John Mendoza
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."
 George Carlin
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap."
Bob Hope
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"
Barry Cryer
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast."
 Anonymous
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything.  Then, you only have to remember it.”
George Burns
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” 
 Maurice Chevalier
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380pounds, and tell the truth."
Conan O’Brien
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to."
 Albert Einstein
"Grand children don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does."
J. Norman Collie
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work."
 Hy Gardner
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old."
 Mark Twain
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks."
Joel Plaskett
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure."
Dennis Wolfberg
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else."
Josh Billings
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for."
Unknown
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read."
 George Burns
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." 
 Ashley Montagu
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”
George Burns
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit."
George Burns  
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." 
Anonymous 
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snuggling with my worried little girl & doing some IUI-related thinking under the cut
okay I’m on cycle three (well technically cycle four but with only three actual IUIs performed) and I’m starting to do some thinking about next steps if this cycle doesn’t work. here we go:
I decided when I started that I’d try up to six rounds of IUI before moving on, and I think somewhere in that range is still the plan at the moment (though I could see myself choosing to change gears after four or five).
I feel a little less enthusiastic about my clinic after four months! I don’t blame them at all for things not working yet (the chances each time are so small) but I do feel like they’re not always the best about scheduling and not the best about communicating with me about the choices available to me. I feel like I’m often coming in with various studies indicating that this or that approach might be better and asking them to help me reason through the process… and then instead of explaining anything or giving advice they’re like sure we’ll do whatever you want, with no real discussion or follow-up about it. idk I am sympathetic to how annoying it is to be a trained professional who has to deal with patients coming in with ideas they read about on the internet or whatever, but also I’m not trying to get them to say yes to whatever I ask for? I guess what I’m trying to get is some insight into how they make clinical decisions and some evidence that they’re adjusting or tailoring their approach based on me as an individual patient. idk I just sometimes get the feeling that their philosophy is “this whole thing is random as hell and you can’t control it so let’s just do whatever and hope we get lucky,” which I think is not an inaccurate take on the whole IUI process but is also hard to hear when I’m spending like $15-20k out of pocket on this medical procedure. idk what I want from them bleh. I’m loath to switch clinics because I’ll to pay all the consultation and exam fees again but I also don’t want to get into sunk cost fallacy territory so idk. here’s what I think I’ll do: I have this list of questions I want to discuss if this cycle fails. if I don’t feel like I’m getting good answers or if it doesn’t seem like there’s much of a plan B, I’ll probably do one more cycle with them and then look for a different practice.
I am also starting to think about whether or not I am open to IVF. when I started this process I wanted to be really conscious of the way that it can funnel you towards expensive, high-tech interventions because you’ve got Biological Baby tunnel vision and you’ve also invested a lot of yourself (financially and emotionally) in trying to make this work. at the time I was like I think I want IVF to be my line in the sand—like, I don’t want to spend that much money and I don’t want having a biological child to be that important to me. I do feel like that’s shifted a bit over the past four to six months. I think I am more open now to trying a single IVF cycle… and that makes me wonder if I should think about escalating to the higher-tech option sooner rather than continuing to pour $2000+ a month down the IUI drain. an IVF cycle will cost me about $14,000, but a number of clinics near me have partial money-back guarantees if you don’t conceive (which mitigates the financial risk at least a little bit, if not the emotional stuff involved) and I could potentially apply for a loan or open a 0% APR credit card and plan to pay off $1200ish a month for a year. if I skip tries five and six with IUI, I could save up to $4000 and apply that to the IVF bill instead, plus I wouldn’t have to buy new donor sperm.
HOWEVER I do worry about the physical and emotional toll of IVF! it seems like it’s pretty hard on your body and that can make it feel even more crushing if it doesn’t work. I also just honestly have some mixed feelings about investing all that money in having a biological child when fostering or adopting have always been routes that I’m interested in and open to. there are a lot of kids who need good stable loving homes! I think I could be a good stable loving parent to a single child or to a number of children in the foster care system! I don’t judge anyone for pursuing IVF for any reason, but the single parent by choice thing means I’m obviously not deeply emotionally invested in having a biological child with my partner. and that makes me feel a little bit like… is the idea of being genetically related to my child or having the experience of carrying a baby so important to me that I would say ‘sorry, I NEED to spend all this money and forego these other viable options.’
I uhhh may also need to spend some time unpacking how much of my hesitance around moving right to fostering/adoption has to do with concerns about my mom. we have multiple adoptees in our extended family and yet I just feel like every time I bring up the option she jumps in with some horror story about a family who adopted a kid with such severe behavioral disorders it ruined their entire lives or whatever (please note that this is all filtered through her telling and is probably not how the family themselves would describe their relationship to their child!!). I also feel like there have been lots of little unconscious microaggressions around race (like not understanding why a biracial adoptee who could ‘pass’ for white would feel a strong desire to connect with the non-white parts of her ethnic/cultural identity) and class (lots of unexamined assumptions about the presumed intelligence of my potential biological child vs. potential adopted child). I know these are things we could work through but I feel kind of exhausted just thinking about it… like my god didn’t I just spend ten plus years navigating a whole lot of painful misconceptions and microaggressions around sexuality for us to finally get to a kind of healthy equilibrium… it’s just really tiring to think about being back in that defensive crouch while also dealing with all the work and emotions of first-time parenting. and it really hurts me to imagine her unintentionally making my foster kid or my adopted kid feel shamed or judged in some way, or given a little bit less room to be their own person than my siblings’ biological kids. like she would never ever do that on purpose but you can obviously still do damage without meaning to and idk agh I can feel how tense I’m getting just thinking about it!! aghhhh but then I also need to think about how trying to manage her emotions has led me to make decisions that have caused me and others pain (like never bringing home anyone I date & never talking to her about my relationships). idk clearly this is a fraught thing I need to spend some more time unpacking.
but okay—I think this is where I’m at right now.
I will try cycles 3, 4, and maybe 5 of IUI at the same clinic, potentially making adjustments to dosage and monitoring to see if we can get the timing closer. I may also do the more expensive test to see if there’s anything going on in my reproductive organs that would be physically inhibiting me from conceiving.
I will also begin exploring cost and financing options for IVF (and may do a consultation to talk through the options with someone). this might change depending on what I learn, but I feel open to doing one round of IVF.
and if that doesn’t work… I want to begin researching fostering licensure and the routes to adoption… and I also will want to sit down and have a compassionate but firm talk with my parents about what that path would entail. I would obviously want to think a lot more about what that conversation would encompass, but I do know that I would want to set pretty clear boundaries & would ideally want them to commit to doing some of the reading and reflective prep work along with me so that we’re all a little more prepared and sensitive/thoughtful and have a little more of a shared vocabulary for talking about identity and the effects of trauma on kids. phew. at least I have a while still to think about that.
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exqviis · 1 year
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hello hello! my name’s isa   ( 23, she/her )   and i’m here to a) ask forgiveness for posting this so DISGUSTINGLY late and b) introduce you to amara chaichana who is a new-ish muse that’s kind of a mixture between rachel green, julien calloway, and song jia, and has been lingering in my mind for the past couple of months. i’m really excited to meet and write with all of you - so if you’re interested in plotting please don’t hesitate to click the lil heart button, or just slide straight into my dms! my discord is also available upon request, if that’s your preferred way of communication!
look who’s joining the infinite tour! only AMARA CHAICHANA, who is the STYLIST of KWON SOMI (MICHELLE). i’ve heard whispers that the 24 year old is pretty AMBITIOUS but lowkey DEMANDING. also, doesn’t she remind you of NICHA YONTARARAK (MINNIE)?
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i always start my intros with links for BIO / STATS / PLOTS / PINTEREST – though i should say that the biography is still unfinished ( coming …. soon-ish? ) and the pinterest board is also under construction ;-; i should also mention that i’m ASTRONOMICALLY bad at writing intros and this will probably be all over the place – please bear with me
amara grew up in los angeles CA as the only child of a famous model and an acclaimed movie director – so upper class and very privileged ( read: spoiled ) and lucky enough to grow up incredibly loved and cared for
very much involved in the hollywood scene from a young age, accompanying her parents to many of the events they attended and walking her first red carpet at the age of seven. none of it bothered her at all – not the bright light of the camera flashes, nor the cacophony of shutter sounds, and least of all – the attention. she loved it – reveled in it, even. so it came to no one’s surprise when amara finally dipped her toes in the nepo scene at the ripe old age of fifteen. the long days spent on movie sets as a child bled into her teenage years, though now she was the one standing in front of the camera, instead of lurking in the background
okay so maybe it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows like she thought. maybe the media was a lot more ruthless now that she was older and maybe her friend group cared more about her connections than her. so what? it totally didn’t play a part in her packing her bags and exchanging hollywood’s glitz and glamour for new york’s skyscrapers – not at all
( to be fair it was only the cherry on top – in reality, she’d been planning the move for quite a while and this only gave her the final push to go ahead with it )
got into parsons on her own merit, enrolling into their fashion design program and graduating as one of the top students in her generation. gathered as many internships and courses under her belt as possible and then moved again – this time to seoul SK, where, for the first time ever, people didn’t really care about who she was or who she knew
she’d been interning at vogue korea for about a year when one of the editors recommended her for one of the stylist positions on the tour – and who was she to say no to the prospect of doing what she loves while travelling the world?
okay now for some personal info
→ although she’s been away from la for quite a while, social relationships and the image she presents to others are still just as important to her and something she’s very careful about. she’s gotten quite good at talking a lot about herself without actually saying anything substantial. she has tried to be more open with herself and others, but almost subconsciously slips back into this mindset as she’s not really used to anything different
→ unfortunately this also kinda means she does a bit of a ‘push and pull’ or ‘hot and cold’ with a lot of people where she wants their attention and wants them around, but pushes them away when she feels like they’ve gotten too close
→ she still cares about other people! very easy to be around, always ready to chat about anything and everything and help out in any way she can. likes to make people feel special and important – just as long as, you know, you don’t ask any personal questions
→ flattery may not work on everyone, but it does on her – though she hates to admit it. amara’s easy to sway, you just gotta put in a lil effort and know the right words
→ very detailed, very dedicated, very determined. also incredibly competitive – not to the point where she’d actively sabotage someone else for her benefit but she definitely tries to stay a couple of steps ahead when it comes to the things she wants
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the-cookie-of-doom · 10 months
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I’m gonna rant for a second because I hate the shitty way visitors treat hospital staff, and I’ve spent all of my last 6 12 hour shifts dealing with it 
Yes, I know you want an update with the nurse, but they aren’t available right now. It’s shift change, last night’s nurses are exhausted and want to go home, today’s nurses don’t even know who their patients are yet. 
Yes, I know, it’s inconvenient. But every single fucking time I have to pull a nurse away from their patient so you can talk to them, that is CARE that the PATIENT ISNT GETTING. 
Like, I’m really sorry, but when it comes down to your feelings versus a patient’s actual life, I don’t care about you. I’m sorry that you’re worried and anxious. I sympathize with it. But if you want your loved one to get the care they need, you need to handle yourself because you are a distraction to the nurse, you are hindering patient care, and the more often this happens, the worse your loved one will be, and I don’t get why that’s so hard to understand. If something significant happens, the nurse will call YOU. If they haven’t called, that means there’s no meaningful updates! 
I’ve seen it time and again that people think by being the loudest voice in the room, they’re showing how much they care about the patient. These are usually the people that couldn’t give a shit about them when they were healthy. The son that hasn’t seen his mother more than once a month since putting her in a nursing home suddenly needs to be up everyone’s ass all the time. The daughter that hasn’t called her father in months screaming at the nurses over every little thing. It’s such performative bullshit and I hate it. We are not here to be your emotional punching bags so you can feel better about how you’ve neglected your relationships, as if abusing us makes up for your lack of contact and caring. 
And the families that like to stand in the doorway staring at everyone who walks by, or come up to the nursing station demanding to speak to the nurse/a charge nurse, because they feel like that care isn’t happening patient care is done on a schedule. Everything is planned down to the hour. Yes, sometimes there are delays. But if a nurse should be providing something at a certain time and doesn’t, that usually means something more important is happening with another patient. Example: you want to tell me to remind the nurse that someone’s pain medication is due in exactly 11 minutes? believe me, that nurse knows down to the exact second when the last dose was given, she’ll be there on time, she does NOT need a reminder. (this is my BIGGEST pet peeve) 
Even the people that are well-meaning about their calls, it’s still so self-centered to constantly demand a nurse’s attention every hour, every two hours. Again, I understand when you’re anxious, but the nurse isn’t here to reassure you. Work out your anxiety with a loved one that isn’t the current patient. Because all you’re doing is taking up the nurse’s valuable time, which is taking away from patient care, so that you can have your nerves soothed when there is ultimately no update to be had, other than “everything’s the same.” 
If there is a significant change, good or bad, the nurse will call you. 
If the patient codes/almost/actually dies, the nurse will call you. 
If your loved one spontaneously wakes up from a coma, the nurse will call you. 
If there is a major procedure, the nurse will (probably, it’s complicated) call you.
I am so done fielding phone calls from people that are passive aggressive, angry, or straight up yelling at me over the smallest thing. You are not helping anyone when you’re calling the nurse to demand whether the patient has eaten or not yet. Either they did, or they’re not able due to illness, or they’re not allowed to due to an upcoming procedure. Nothing you say or shout will change anything. Medications are added/changed/discontinued practically daily, don’t start freaking out just because the patient was on one blood pressure med one day and a different one/none the next. 
If you don’t get a call for a day or two, the nurse isn’t refusing to communicate with you. They just have no significant updates to give, and their time is better spent on patient care than on the phone with you talking about how much the patient did or didn’t urinate. 
This goes doubly for patients that are fully conscious/aware of their surroundings, and able to advocate for themselves. In those cases, any family members become entirely superfluous, because we do not need you. We don’t need you to understand what’s going on with the patient, because we don’t need you to consent to their procedures as a medical proxy. Your input doesn’t matter. And you better be damn grateful when the nurse is willing to give you any information at all, because at that point, it should really be up to the patient to disseminate the news of their condition.
Except because nurses are saints and recognize the mental and emotional strain that will put on the patient, they take care of that too. People need to start showing some gratitude instead of attitude, because contact with the nurse is a privilege, not a right, and people like me are incredibly happy to remove it when you can’t be respectful of everyone’s time. 
Tl;dr not to be rude but if you’re not the patient, or the patient’s medical proxy, you don’t matter, so you better be nice
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londonrih · 1 year
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Chenford + valentines day (pre-relationship)
The day is finally here, the day of love! But sadly, Tim and Lucy won’t be participating in this year’s Valentine’s Day. It was the end of shift, Lucy had just exited the women’s locker room. She had no other plans besides sitting in pajamas, and watching ‘True Crime’ for the trillionth time. That’s one way to spend Valentine’s Day, right?
However, for Tim, he had no plans at all, except for hanging out with Kojo, but that was about it. As he approached the glass doors in the main lobby, he heard a familiar voice, “Tim!” Lucy shouted behind him, he looked behind his shoulder, and his eyes widened as he looked at Lucy.
She held onto the strap of her bag tightly as she rushed over to Tim, “Hey,” she said, a wide smile ran across her face.
He raised an eyebrow at her, “Oh, hey—I’m surprised you’re still here. I thought you and Chris would be on your Valentine’s Day date.”
Lucy scoffed as she looked down at the floor, “Uh—Chris and I broke up, well, technically…I broke up with Chris, so..”
“That’s a turn of events. I thought you two were happy together, just like you said?” He said as he held the door open for her.
“Mmm,” she winced, “That might’ve been a lie. Or all a lie. I mean, Chris seemed happy, sure…But I wasn’t. I was never really interested in him to be honest.”
Tim shoved his hands into his pockets as they began to approach his truck, “So, why’d you date him in the first place if you were never interested in him?”
“…Because, I have feelings for someone else. And when I found out that he was seeing someone, he seemed happy with her. I knew that it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to go in, and confess my feelings for him while he was still with his girlfriend, so I tried to bury my feelings, and pretend that I didn’t actually have feelings for you, Tim.”
He frowned in confusion as he looked at the pavement, a forced chuckle had escaped his lips, “Wow…that was a pretty smooth confession. Took me a second to actually realize you were talking about me.”
“Look, I get it if you don’t wanna pursue that type of…relationship. I mean it’s risky, Y’know? We’ve been through so much, and we’ve been friends for so long. And if our relationship weren’t to work out, I’d hate myself…forever, ‘cause our relationship is so, so important to me. It’s the most precious thing to me, and if I were to screw this up, I’d never forgive myself.”
Tim didn’t say anything, leaving Lucy worried. Her eyes fell to the ground as she puckered her lips, “…And I think I have my answer,” she heavily sighed as she began to turn away, “I’ll see you, tomorrow, Tim.”
He watched as she began to walk away. This was his chance, to actually confess to Lucy how he truly feels about her, “Lucy, wait…” he called out. He cleared his throat as he watched her turn around. A small smile began to play against his lips, “…It’s Valentine’s Day. We’re both single, maybe that could change tonight?”
“What’re you asking me, Tim?”
He inhaled, and exhaled as he began to brace himself. His smile grew even wider as he looked into her eyes, “Lucy, would you…like to get dinner, tonight? Y’know, if there’s a restaurant available.”
“And if there isn’t a restaurant available?” She asked.
He shrugged, “Then we’ll improvise.”
Lucy snickered as she looked at the pavement, and then back up at him. She ran her hand through her hair as she nodded, “I’d love that, Tim.”
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WIP Wednesday (on Thursday bc time is a construct)
Tagged by: @korblez
Fic: A Little Too Much Like Me (Fem!Shep x Garrus Vakarian, Avitus Rix x Castis Vakarian, Background Nihlus Kryik x Saren Arterius) Current Word Count: 786 Warnings: Self-indulgent no-reapers crack AU where all the council gets high and decides the best way to force C-Sec and the Spectres to get along is to make them do corporate-style teambuilding exercises. Spoiler alert: it doesn't end well. Sneak peek: Was that linked to being called? No. Avitus never usually bothered to call if he was forced to take off unexpectedly - doing so would imply far too much care, after all. And potentially risk revealing important information about just what he was doing on the council’s orders. And still, his omni-tool was bleating at him. He rolled over and groped on the headboard for it, then cursed his own lack of forethought as he realised that it must have been tossed across the room at some point during the night. Well, he was awake now anyway. After retrieving it from underneath a discarded sweatshirt, it nevertheless took him three attempts to actually accept the call and -ah. Garrus’ face swam into view. “Can I help you?” He asked in lieu of a proper greeting, knowing by the tension across his face that he was about to have to pretend to be awake enough to deal with a medium level outburst. “You can tell Rix to leave me the fuck alone.” His son snarled. Castis didn’t bother to disguise a yawn, contemplating his breakfast options instead of the conversation at hand. “As I told you after he signed you up for that asari porn magazine, he enjoys knowing it upsets you more than anything else. Be the better person, or block his comm address.”
“Hard to block him when I’ve just been told I’m fucking working with him.”
What? Oh.
Oh. He had payed a marginal amount of attention to the announcement that there was to be an inter-agency team building seminar. A human concept, apparently, to attempt to resolve tension between the warring departments since it had turned into a veritable turf war. Apparently, guns had been pulled on both sides over crime scene investigations and the ensuing arguments had caught the attention of the media sufficiently that someone had decided to resolve the issue.
Of course Garrus, with a mere six years experience to his name, would be expected to partake and… Avitus had whinged about having to hang out with ‘wet-bottomed fledgelings’ a few days ago, come to think of it.
“The team building event.” He surmised.
“Now you remember.” Really, the level of anger Garrus had attained was impressive considering what time in the morning it was. “Well we just got our assignments and apparently your fuck-buddy gets to order me around for the day.”
Actually, the idea had been to demystify spectre-work to the officers and remind the former that the latter were still people. But it probably would involve a fair amount of barked orders and in-fighting all the same. “Request a transfer due to personal conflicts.” He told him boredly, deciding he needed to laundry before much else happened today. “Your superiors will understand.”
Not as if they hadn’t already heard a great deal about Avitus’ transgressions from Garrus before now.
“Slight problem with that.” Garrus looked genuinely disgusted as none other than Avitus himself flung an arm around his shoulder and leaned in to appear in the call too. “They said no takebacks. And I sure didn’t make the assignment lists.”
“Avitus, get off him.” He wondered if he would ever hear the end of this. “Who set the teams?”
“We did, ostensibly.” Avitus did not remove his arm from around Garrus’ neck and Castis wondered how long he’d have until he ended up with a dislocated shoulder. “But some fuck hacked it and set a bunch of us up already. I mean I was planning on asking for kiddo here but I’m still going to take offence at someone taking that choice away from me.”
“So one of your grim buddies is in on this.” Garrus writhed in an attempt to get away from him, to no avail. “Great. That’s just great.”
“My money’s on Tela.” The spectre was glowering, even though he tightened his grip. “She’s been an especially sadistic piece of work recently.”
“Doing this sort of thing at the expense of innocent people isn’t funny.” His son was actually daring to sound petulant. “This wasn’t what I had planned.”
“Me neither, buddy.”
He wasn't even involved or present and this was being made his problem, how was that for unfair?
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outsassing-nero · 1 year
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Hey!
As you are someone who is doing a phd I wanted to ask you what is it like? Like how does it differ in difficulty when compared to a normal degree? I am seriously considering doing a phd after my masters but I’m a little put off by how hard everyone says it is - can you also give some tips on doing a phd successfully 😅
hi there and sorry for the late reply!
i'm doing my phd in germany, where the degree is not as restricted and complicated formally as it may be in other countries. BUT from my experience, it's not that difficult at all - i finally have some time to focus on the topics i'm actually interested in and can push the research in any direction i want :) in this sense, i definitely thing a bit more research experience would be incredibly beneficial, even if you don't plan staying in academia afterwards.
here some tips:
i think the key here is consistency and a routine when it comes to going through other papers and planning the outline of your own project. sticking to this routine means i see it purely as another job and don't stress about it too much in my free time!
then, another tip is to use zotero or other similar software regularly - for instance, i add references to the list once week, just to make sure i don't forget anything!
i also would recommend you to take part in a few conferences, just to see how your topic looks like presented to the audience!
what i find super important as well, is to contact your advisor regularly. personally, i'm a person who works best alone and undisturbed, but i do message my advisor for, let's say, tips regarding archive research and so on - just so he doesn't forget about me lmao
be confident in questioning the available sources. you think someone messed up? write about it and explain which perspective would be more suitable. you think someone's idea was just irrelevant and not that good for the field you're study? mention it and suggest a better solution!
hope it helps - let me know if you have any more questions :)
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Ever since the trauma with my ex I have been so subconsciously terrified of disappointing others/asking anything of others that I think will inconvenience them. What’s extra bad is that I literally don’t notice it until because it shows up as hyper-independence to the point that consciously I don’t actually perceive that understanding or compassion is available to me (and would be genuinely, enthusiastically given). Just had another moment where it became actually visible to me the extent to which I subconsciously just do this and how much fear it is masking. I had plans for my friend to come here tonight, but she asked last minute if I could drive to her place instead, which is 30 minutes away. My fatigue is so bad tonight that I felt forced to be honest that I couldn’t handle the drive to their place, even though normally I would grit through it. It wasn’t until she texted back this
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that I felt this wave of emotions and I literally started crying, and I felt my body relax and sort of exhale for the first time in a while. Like again it was another moment where it wasn’t even on my RADAR that this could be met with warmth and understanding. Like I literally forgot how it felt to be treated like me and my needs get to be important, even when it might inconvenience someone, because she couldn’t make any better decisions. I’m feeling fresh grief about it because it’s so fucked up that this happened to me when I truly did absolutely nothing to deserve someone damaging my heart in this truly disfiguring way. Like I know why she did it and because of that I do forgive her, but it still doesn’t change that I am STILL covered in all of these wounds and scars I did nothing to earn. How much of my life and happiness am I losing all the time because I don’t even bother to be vulnerable and ask for things from others, because I internalized that it was pointless and hopeless, because the last person to hold my heart taught it that I am worth much less than an inconvenience? I don’t know how to start opening up and being vulnerable on purpose again, instead of holding out until it’s spiraled out of my control to be reminded of what actual love feels like in action when I’m not at my best, and that I deserve it.
Argh
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accustiv-archived · 10 months
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@vanishinq sent: 📔 + beau's plan to out the ghost at o2 / accepting
Entry 108 .
The Ghost is Alex Stanwick - Host & Performer at Club Oxygen in Los Angeles. This, I am confident about.
There are a few grey areas regarding exact timings but with a crime ring as extensive as the Ghost’s it’s not unreasonable that certain operations are delegated; Alex is also an alias - it’s very well done, but there’s absolutely nothing real under that name older than 3 years, even his social security number was only generated recently. [NOTE: who created this ID? In the ring or pre-ghost? nothing traces back to them. could be useful.]
My research brought a few names forward that match the timeline of when the Ghost started operating (as far as we know). Had to take a leap of faith that they would be officially missing - found Casper Daniel Reid, Brooklyn NY, reported missing 3 years ago at age 16 following his father’s death. Descriptions match available ID photo for Alex Stanwick. Age is off but if he’s working at Oxygen he would need to be 21 at time of application. (The Ghost is 19? The Ghost is my age? That’s fucked up.)
The Plan: Confront him. I have no idea what’s going to happen to me after I do, but I’ve been looking for him since I left Europe, and I can’t just pretend I haven’t tracked him down because I might end up in trouble. If he kills me for it… well… I suppose that’s just an occupational hazard, and I’ve escaped people like him before. He’s been using an alias for years (unclear whether the persona is different, although, obviously he’s masking his profession), but it suggests decent skills at acting, which in turn suggests increased observational skills and deception detection, which means I have to be very, very careful when I first get there - keeping the alias simple, keep RP accent, comfortable backstory - I’ve gone for investment broker (suggests enough wealth and entitlement to be a customer at Oxygen), but I’m assuming it won’t come up unless they share member’s BG checks with employees - unlikely.
Alex is their star. This was initially a concern [see Entry 102 re: ‘current project investigation’], however one rip deal in Austin got me the $1 mil needed for the correct membership tier to have access to a private room with him; a locked, soundproof, private room. He must be completely confident in his cover because honestly that sounds like a recipe for disaster if his enemies did the same research I did. I checked schedules - he is performing on Saturday, this guarantees his presence, the club provides pre-booking and I’ve done that to ensure I get alone time. I can’t actually sleep with him, that is incredibly stupid, but I do need to figure out what to say.
I’m just going to tell him what I know; I know he’s Casper Reid, and I know he’s the Ghost, I just don’t know which one to lead with. Real name is going to put him on the back foot but NOT out me as a direct threat straight away. Moniker is going to make anything I say afterwards confrontational. I don’t want him to think I’m extorting him with this - it’s important he recognises this as what it truly is. If he’s as smart as people say he is, it should be fairly obvious. [NOTE: If anything, I’m doing him a favour here, I’d want to know if there was a hole in my alias if I was using it for that long.]
Final Thoughts: I need to work out if that Degas job in Paris was an Underwood crossover or a Ghost interaction; still unclear, and I can’t find the case notes anymore ; if Ghost tell him? absolutely no reason he’d remember a job from over a year ago AND no evidence Sov. is known in USA apart from Freddie & I know he’s had no interactions with Ghost ring. Don’t get murdered. Very important.
FOOTNOTES:
Cover: Sebastian Lee ; British passport (Chinese??) ; 22 years old ; investment broker.
Funds required: $1mil for tier entry for private room with “Alex” ; $600 for tux (do NOT tailor), $400 for ID.
Mark: Alex Stanwick , aka Casper Reid , aka The Ghost .
Weapons: No (can’t guarantee getting it in without drawing attention. do not want to make him think it's a confrontation or call security before reveal).
Escape Routes: n/a - if i can’t talk my way into his favour i’ll either die there or when i leave. just got to charm him i suppose - under no circumstances give real name. don’t need another underwood.
Take: n/a ; no monetary value but possible avenues opening if conversation goes the way i want it to.
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combsstokes49 · 1 year
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Preparing Your Air Conditioner For Summer: Helpful Service Tips For Home And Office
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