#im getting obsessed again like i was when i was little

[euphorianz]

Hi! Can you do a anthony bridgerton being obsessed with a reader who doesnt want anything to do with him and rejects him all the time?

Thank u!

(in read your colin one, he is not really my man but your writing is just marvelous! If you decide to do this im so excited to read it!! If you dont its ok, no pressure!)

❥Anthony Bridgerton as a obsessed partner

pairing_ Anthony x reader

Possible triggers_ yandere/dark content, forced affection, mentions of yelling, toxic relationships, Anthony being a total jerk, unwilling reader

a/n_ hiii, thanks so much for your interest! I hope this fic is good and is exactly what you wanted <3 like I said in my last post feedback is welcome and requests!

-unlike his brother Colin, he is fully aware of what he’s doing and he doesn’t care. He has an “eye on the prize” mentality and has no intention of straying from his goal (you).In a way this is all a game to him, and he has no plans of losing.

-Anthony is controlling/ intense. He desires nothing more for you to be his, and only his. He is not afraid to fight when it comes to you, and will gladly knock a man out for even looking at you. Intimidation tactics are common. Expect to see Anthony randomly showing up at your home or anywhere else you might be. Wether you like him or not he wants everyone to believe the two of you are together. He’s the first one to come up to you at a ball and he makes sure he’s the only one. He doesn’t care if you say no. On top of being controlling he can also be jealous, so expect to be pressed with questions like, “who were you with?!” “What is his name?!” “Do you honestly think he can provide better than me?”

-he has no problem taking full advantage as his role as “viscount” when it comes to you (and your family). He’ll use his influence to gain your family’s favor and your hand. Although meeting through friendship is possible, your mostly likely to catch his eye at a ball than anything. Like his brother the marriage will be swift. Everyone in the ton will be invited to witness your union wether you like it or not. He knows that you don’t hold the same affection for him, so he hopes the tons presence will keep you in check.

-once the two of you are married he doesn’t tolerate any kind of outburst, especially near his family. He cares deeply about them, and the thought of you speaking ill of him or your relationship fills him with rage. So he’ll make a point to be by your side until he can fully trust you. Family participation is a must, especially when it comes to family games. He wants you by his side and happy, but if you can’t be he’s willing to force it.

-if you manage to tell your in-laws about Anthony’s extreme behavior or beg them to help you get out of the marriage, there’s little chance you’ll get the help that you want. Anthony will be quick to take hold of the situation and reassure them that there’s nothing wrong then punish you accordingly. Like his brother he doesn’t like to see you in pain, but he’s not afraid to inflict it.

-like his brother he wants a lot of kids and he expects you to feel the same. If you don’t he’ll just say, “you don’t actually feel that way my love. You’ll come around eventually.” Again family is important to him, so you will eventually have children wether you like it or not.

-Anthony at times can have a short temper, especially when you push him away. He’ll yell and scream demanding “why you don’t love him”. After his outburst and if your upset he’ll be quick to comfort you and apologize, “I’m sorry.. I never mean to upset you.” He can have his tender moments.

-like the rest of his family divorce is not an option and bringing it up will only lead to more problems for you. Same goes for attempting to leave him. He doesn’t know what to do with himself or you at that point, and his desperation will only lead to fueling his obsession with you.

-he’s your husband and you’re his wife. It doesn’t matter how much you fight him or deny his affection that fact will remain. “Wether you acknowledge it or not, your are only for my eyes to witness. So there’s no use in fighting what’s already been vowed.”

#bridgerton x reader #bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #anthony x reader #anthony bridgerton x reader #Yandere Anthony #Yandere Anthony bridgerton #Yandere Anthony x reader #dark Anthony bridgerton

[crazylittlejester]

ITS MANDARIN WARRIOS AGAIN I KNOW I JUST SENT IN TRANS WARRIORS HEADCANNONS BUT I HAVE MORE (shout out to my cousin for helping come up with this):

anyways

CW for extremely implied (like two or three lines) of trans/homo/queer-phobia

the chain goes to gerudo town and they stop at the kara kara bazaar where wild explains that they need vai outfits since they don't let men in (or if TOTK has happened, he can't let men in with him, even if he has clearance) and the group has varying reactions, from sure whatever (legend, hyrule, twilight, time), HELL YEAH/sure, that sounds kinda fun (sky, wind, four,) and the captain just stares at the outfit for a second an quietly nods. in fact, he's weirdly quiet the whole visit to the female city. Time seems in tune with whatever is going on with captain, and gives a tiny "don't" sort of gesture at one point when twilight tries to talk to the captain.

Legend, who wears skirts all the time, who's worn dresses and cheerleader outfits and you name it, gets worried for a different reason. while most of his hyrule either wasn't there or didn't care, he's run into quite a few people (creatures? beings?) who don't hold the same values, and legend thinks the captain has finally snapped and has secretly been a raging homophobe the whole time. (no, legend does not have trust issues wdym)

legend takes warriors out on a "night patrol" after seeing him pace and fidget and pick at the outfit for the 16th million time. they walk pretty far out, far enough that the lights of the city no longer dim the sparkling night sky. legend stops dead in his tracks and turns to warriors like: "dude if you're really gonna be a hateful piece of dookie then i will make your life miserable again because i will not let you hurt my brothers like that" and warriors, who's dealing with awful dysphoria rn, whos super uncomfortable because people kept staring at his burn scars, who hates the hot sun and the itchy desert and is super overstimulated just breaks down bc he thinks he's been betrayed by another brother.

Legend is very surprised bc he was expecting to fistfight a bigot not consoling his brother who has planted himself down against a rock and his melting down in front of his eyes. warriors awkwardly explains whats really going on, and legend feels supers guilty and embarrassed for thinking so poorly of his brother. blah blah feels, cheesy stuff, they talk, then they start making there way back to the inn, after a promise from legend to keep quiet. to make it up to him, the next day legend decides to go drinking with wars since time and twi are needed for something else (up to reader what that thing is) yada yada hurt/comfort, the end

(Bonus: warriors helps legend pick out skirts and dresses because he has a much better eye for fashion -though legend would never admit it- and knows how the sizing works and what pieces go where, and they bond over the lack of pockets)

-mandarin warriors

:)

THE LITTLE “:)” AT THE END OF THAT WAS DIABOLICAL.

im absolutely obsessed with this, i need to write a fic about wars being trans because trans wars is something that is so incredibly real to me

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu warriors #lu wars #jes talks #jes ask

[elvisqueso]

I am on some bullshit right now, bruh

#just re-watched pocahontas for the first time in many many years and dawg #the character animation in that film is so gorgeous #like they went so hard on ACTING through the animation #im getting obsessed again like i was when i was little #like u gotta understand: the disney pocahontas character (a truly fictional character inspired by real events let's get that straight) #i was like in love with her. i wanted to be her like oh my god #and the way they animated john smith was such a departure from their other disney LI's up til then (as *i* recall) #so detailed!! the expressions!!! the fucking YEARNING!!!!!! #best love story out of all the disney flicks imho. as a Story it's so powerful #I'm gonna think about the symbolism of them having to part #after grandmother willow had told them 'only when the fighting stops can you be together' #implying that the fighting isn't over and probably never will be #fuxking painfuslfjk #i know i know: c'est ~~problématique~~ #but look. I'm from a racially diverse family okay? #my dad's side especially. nobody over there stuck to their own race/ethnic group #my parents are a mixed couple. i know how hard it is to make that work. #most interracial couples I'd seen on tv until that point were very...chaste? #mostly played for laughs (oh haha the cultural dissonance is so cute and funny!) or worse: to play up racial sterotypes #but to see one depicted as a straight-forward romance- as two people deeply in love and not played for a gag? AND as the core of the story? #mannnn that means a lot to me even all these years later #so yeah im deep in the 'hunting down feel-good fix-it fics' phase wish me luck

[asteraws]

i wish crick was a permanent party member

#octopath traveler 2 #octopath traveler #crick wellsley #temenos mistral #knightlight #my art #yall get to see this first hehe #BUT YEAH I LOVE HIS DYNAMIC WITH TEM SO MUCH LMAO #their exchanges during battle too were so cute like.. that was the first taste i got from the demo of the new interactive dialogue in combat #i was enthralled abt it #these r from the time the demo came out but i colored em today #also ive been playing a little obsessively... lawl im still pretty slow and dont have everyones ch2 done yet but #i have like 20 hours in the game already 😭 saur faukin fun yall #been starved of a good game since like omori honestly LOL #spoilers -> but omfg i cheered so hard when he showed up in ch2 again like i was grinning from ear to ear LITERALLY AAHFDSKFJS

[synth-spinner]

It's honestly so scary how much peters story is kind of paralleling his otto's story in the first game with the descent into rage, violence and possibly evil due to an obsession over a goal coupled with a really unfortunate personality altering external force that they still want to keep because of the power and assurance it gives them.. and then also their mentees will have to fight them because there's no way miles isn't going to have to battle peter with his electric powers at some point and it's gonna be such an INSANE parallel I will start crying and afterwards what's gonna happen how's peter gonna deal with that huh. If he realises the parallel and what he just did do you get it do y-

#ALSO MILES' UNMOVING OPTIMISM DESPITE IT ALL.. THEN SLOWLY IT GETS TOO CONCERNING.. PARALLELING THE FIRST GAME A LITTLE #also the symbiote tendrils r looking a lil 😰😰😰😰 #obsessed with this gif and also ps4 spideys silly vibes BUT HES SCARYYYY #im blorbo thinking real hard rn.. when u take off that symbiote hes gonna be the haunted contemplater for real #doesnt help that miles' awesome confidence and experience plus his suits design (the hands look like ps4 peters) um umm.. i am gonna cry #first game shattered my heart i cant do it again with my special blorbo as the big boss #synth speaks #insomniac spiderman #insomniac spider-man #spider-man ps5 #marvel's spider-man 2

[strawberrycircuits]

replaying portal one as we speak and im astounded by how much of glados's (and, by extension, caroline's) personality still shines through even when she's being subject to a constant stream of voices made to SUPRESS that personality! like... she's still funny! i can very much believe that someone who makes jokes like "say goodbye, caroline" "goodbye caroline!" would also say stuff like this!

but like of course i had to ruin it for myself because like. of COURSE she'd still be funny and pleasant and even, at times, a little sweet ("we can no longer lie to you; when the testing is over, you will be... missed!"). that's what they wanted her to be. they werent suppressing her personality, they were suppressing her anger. her anger at what they did to her, how they made her into this powerful-powerless thing, and her desire to right such an injustice. of course she's still funny. of course.

#breaking news everybody i am still in love with glados. very shocking i know #and like. her dialogue during the escape sequence is also interesting! because shes terrified! and you can TELL shes terrified #shes trying to act like its okay #pleading for you to go back. begging you to stop doing this. to stay. and then that anger shines through ever so slightly but its still so- #stilted. so monotone. #im obsessed with the 'good news.' monologue because its when she finally gets to be fully HERSELF again. when she gets to be more than just- #whats pleasant enough. when shes able to FEEL that anger and KNOW what to do with it. #i say all of this knowing caroline wasnt a factor when this games story was being completed and to imply that the text is directly #calling to that characters anger at being forced to unbecome is a little bit of a stretch but EVEN THEN. even then man #shes still being reduced to the most surface level pleasant parts of herself and then shes allowed to take her own personality- #hell her own PERSONHOOD back and ohh she is so angry. she is so viscerally angry and unpleasant and everything the scientists didnt want- #her to be but she made sure they got what they deserved LONG ago. and no ones going to hurt her like that and get away with it again #< a lot of words that could be summarized by 'i desire her carnally' but

[carpisuns]

gaining a new interest/joining a new fandom is always kind of intimidating it feels like there’s so much you’ve missed out on by not enjoying this thing before so you’re like GRAHHHH got to catch up so I can have peak enjoyment like all the Enjoying This Thing experts around here! which is so silly bc if you enjoy a thing you’re already there but. yknow

#like when I got into hockey I was like studying all the rules and terms and players and team history and stuff #so I could be able to talk with other fans and understand everything #and like when I got into ml and owl house it was like ooh gotta binge watch all the eps #gotta see what the fandom vibes are and read the good kush fics and find a group of friends to brainrot with #and now w zelda it’s like #woof #there are so many games spanning decades!!! and I only have a switch so I can’t even play most of them lol #and the lore is fascinating but sometimes convoluted and confusing lol #bro the timeline. help #it’s just a lot of info and stuff to consume djdjdk #and im brainrotting so hard so part of me wants to find a loz discord server or soemthing l #but I feel like i would not be able to be on equal footing discussion wise bc I have only played a few of the games #it’s cool tho i have one irl friend who’s very excited abt me getting into her fav series haha #and I’m enjoying seeing people’s art and stuff #and making my little doodles #ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ <- me having a good little time being bad at gaming and obsessed with a tragic blond boy yet AGAIN #mine

[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it #like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago #so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows #but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown #AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS #1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject #and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS #or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's #AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way #okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there. #also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that #well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there #ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE #also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines #IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT #AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS #i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen. #its VITAL that that did not happen!!!! #its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan #and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died #SO. logically it must have been like #fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?) #and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist? #like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote? #that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro #god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke. #NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW #in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw) #does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab???? #oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute

[frecklystars]

I edited this pic and turned up the brightness 500% because I want to look at his pretty face. GOD LOOK AT HIM. THIS SHOT IS BEAUTIFUL!!! and this is the moment that inspired our ship tag too (i can't help falling in love with u) 🥺🥺

#HIS FIRST TIME SEEING ELVIS PRESLEY AND HE'S LIKE OH MY FRECKLY GF LOOOOVES THIS GUY #(i dont anymore but i still enjoy his music) #(but when i was ten years old i was obsessed with elvis for... some fucking reason) #(i had an elvis bday party when i was little and my parents still DIDNT notice i was autistic asf?? alright) #god i fucking love being in love. ok. i fucking miss stsc like a phantom limb #but its such a relief to have SOMEBODY to fall on. or more than just one character #alone and overboard drowning but there's like 15 ryan gosling characters pulling me up for air #AND THIS IS ONE OF 'EM #love notes #Officer K #br2049 #💕♬♪ ♡ I can't help falling in love with you ☆- ̗̀💛 ̖́-☆ #had a fucking nightmare and cant sleep again so uh thats great #im gonna watch blade runner for the 5th time in one week bc i cant get this plot #mark my words i WILL understand up to 78% of this movie. thats my goal

[astranauticus]

a handful of chinese songs that give me big robit energy

translating cpop songs is like my second favourite hobby so it's frankly surprising I haven't made this post sooner

Him - Floruitshow (马 - 福禄寿)

I've talked about this song on here before but this is the 3.7 song for me

the second chorus is definitely MR-SN but i like to think of the first chorus (Let me take a good look at your visage as we count down the time till the curtains’ close. Forgive me for holding back my voice so soon, do you know, in your graceful escape, all I see around me is disaster?) as VR-LA during the flashback sequence

specifically 'all I see around me is disaster' because yeah not wrong

'This time I’m not here to bring you home' just kills me like the please please take care of yourself because I can't be there with you anymore of it all

'Oh spring, oh warm sun, please come sooner, grant him a smooth and safe journey' same point, just the desperate plea for the universe to protect VR-LA because he can't do it himself anymore

How can I make you stay - Floruitshow (我用什么把你留住 - 福禄寿)

(conveniently I have actually done a full translation of this song!)

definitely one of the Maxim songs of all time

"You’ve believed that you can let your life pass in numbness, but [...] why do your tears fall in the moment of letting go?' YEAH because we've seen so many times how Maxim keeps trying to convince himself that he can stop just caring but it never works

'You say don’t fall in love, yet you’re unwilling to let go' same point, this man is in such denial about how he just can't stop caring

specifically the second verse feels a lot like Maxim waiting for VR-LA to return from Tu'narath

'You stay silent, holding onto starlight as you wait through your darkest hour. Your mind is struck, when familiar murmurs pierce your ears once more' aaaAAAAHH

the bridge (?) as a conversation between VR-LA and Maxim, VR-LA inviting Maxim to see the beauty and wonders of the world ('Do you want to see the sea of flowers blooming?', very 4.5 wedding invite honestly) but Maxim's trauma just would not allow him to take that risk ('If none of them come back, then who should I live for?')

fun fact the second version of the bridge in my translation ('You must stay to see the flowers bloom' onwards) is exclusive to that live performance of the song so it's not in the spotify version i linked here. as for which version you think fits Maxim more.. well.

Borrow - Mao Buyi (借 - 毛不易)

finally banging out a translation for this song was kinda the inspiration for me to make this post actually

the tldr of this song is that it's an unnamed/unidentified speaker asking to borrow various small things for the sake of somebody else (like 'an inch of frozen sunlight' to provide warmth in a cold world) so you can probably see where i'm going with this

'A simple ‘we have plenty of time’ etched into the soul to prepare for the chance of forced separation' ouch ow okay

'Those blown apart by these winds will say that they never loved deeply' / 'There is a sincerity that cannot be blown apart by this wind' DX-TR betraying the old crew vs VR-LA fighting through so much just to get them back

'There are tears that cannot be washed away by this rain' this line just haunts me. like in general

'An acre of land for him to call home, an ordinary life for him to live' as MR-SN watching over the old crew like I can't be there for you but I hope you will find peace and a home...

#rolling with difficulty #rwd starship #rwd professionals #my feel good hobby! as opposed to art: my feel bad hobby /j #im actually learning to play how can i make you stay on the guitar right now its a lot of fun but ow my fingers #ive also found a score for him but its super outside my skill level so we'll see how that goes #bmadd11 my beloathed #/also/ working on a little something based on that song but that wont... come into play for at least the next few weeks so #its an absolute monster of a project and school has started so i dont have high hopes for getting it done soon #i dont think i got to mention this on the actual post for borrow but ive literally been spinning that song in my brain since like 2020 #genuinely. i've been thinking about how to translate that song for upwards of 3 years #grammar is just weird sometimes #i was gonna include let's go wandering by bibi zhou but i couldve SWORN i wrote a translation for that song before i just cant FIND it #spent 30 minutes hunting for the doc in my drive thats 30 minutes of my life wasted #but 'lets go wandering with a smile because we carry our home in our hearts' just fucks severely #also considered including forget your sorrows when the flowers bloom by zhou shen #bc im not gonna make a cpop post and *not* try and subject more poeple to zhou shen #but like that songs vibe is too... cottagecore to really make a good point there im just obsessed with one specific line #'If my memories are stolen and I forget all my love; I'll say to you “Hello!” #post amnesia vrla to the old crew??? the 'i dont know you. id love to get to know you again' of it all???? #did this instead of my programming homework :|

[goldiipond]

nintendos announced not only the first mainline game with daisy in it but shes also a playable character AND we’re getting a new super princess peach i just felt little child skye explode somewhere

#skye's ramblings #god i fuckin ADORED the ds super princess peach this rules ohhh my god!!!!!!!!! obsessed w the little partner creature they are cute <3 #little skye was the BIGGEST peach fan for years. call me basic but looking back. shewas probably my first fictional crush #AND DAISY ILOVE DAISY YAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ive wanted mainline daisy for sooo long i will be playig as her if i get thegame <3 #ive noticed recent iterations of daisy have been slightly more tan like theyre trying to backtrack on the whitewashing #which is good! but theyre being such cowards about it makw her brown again. now <3 also literaly any eye color besides blue wuold b nice #ANYWAY ALSO!!! new smrpg fuck yes. i have heard wonderful things abt that game but i gave up on it VERY early from the difficulty </3 #so i hope this one'll be a little more accessible i was 16 when i tried it. thinking abt trying to play it as a kid is. oouugh #idk why i just gave up normally if i cant play a game or evenif the gameplays just not my style ill watch a playthrough. laziness i suppose #also no new papers mario im not surprised but getting a new announcement this year isnt totaly impossible so. smiles serenely #given the average gap between pm games we are most likely to get a new one sometime next year heheheheheheheheheheheheh #t/pn followers i apologize for the person i'll become whenever that happens <3 obsession is inevitable for anything involving that series #anywayay theres skyes awesome direct thoughts and m&l is still dead. alphadream come home

[elegyofthemoon]

people on my twt feed kept comparing pandora hearts and dgrayman and bc my 11 year old self was so obsessed w dgm i decided to pick it up again and 😭 i see why i was obsessed lmao

#the anime makes me kinda nostalgic but i cant stomach it bc ep 50 or so was a bunch of fillers that werent in the manga #hhfjfj ik i was super mad about it when i was watching that i stopped watching #but anyways! #i finished vol 2 for dgm and im sobbing my eyes out what the fuck... #NO AND IK IT GETS WORSE IM NOT READY ..... #like i had this feeling id like allen anyways bc he was my fave when i was little the same way i was attached to oz as a kid JGHFJFJ #BUT NOW THAT I UNDERSTAND IM LIKE....OH.....OH NO #anyways like. allen and yuu having a conversation about self sacrifice and i was like 'ah....oz and elliot convo retrace 26 nodnod' #but the difference is that like. oz was afraid of losing everything so if it meant sacrificing himself he didnt mind so long as someone #stays... #meanwhile allen says that hes lost everything so he has nothing else to lose #allen had such a kind heart also bc of how much he has lost and him tending to guzol and lala made me uglycry like i was 11 again OK.... #also yuu saying 'exorcists are destroyers' but allen acknowledging it but wanting to use that power to protect I WILL DIE ACTUALLY LMAO #NO THE NEXT VOLUME IS GONNA SLAP ME SO HARD DUDE CANNOT WAIT.... #miranda and krory!!!!!!! big excited!!! #or i think krory is vol 4... OH MY GOD LAVIIIIIIIII 💞💞💞💞💞💞 #ok thats all i wanna say jenfjdjf #like allens so optimistic but its the kind thats formed by going through The Worst and that makes me sob #dudes only 14 and going through it #jshdjjd that would also check out for why 11 year old me was obsessed w him. ok #snow speaks #i dont have the next volume on me.... makes me sad.... #snow reads dgm

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #cw health #cw heart #i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it #i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help #sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me #he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me #sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree #have i Ever actually relaxed #hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch #anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things #a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal #so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now #and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser #i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever #if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked #all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is #every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse #anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches #‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now #i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC #which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it #i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead #anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t. #it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about #i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father

[messedupessy]

So guess who have fallen into such a deep hole when it comes to the Legend of Zelda franchise? ME! UwU✨

I can't believe it has taken me this long to give the games a proper chance, but holy shit am I loving it, finished BoTW which is the game I started with yesterday and it took me just over 190 hours to complete and I 100% it as well xD

It was such a fun and wild ride, did so much dumb shit and the only regret I got is that I ended up reading too many guides and didn't attempt many things by myself, as I got scared since it was my first ever Zelda game and especially with the korok seeds, but other than that I had such a blast and I plan to replay it in the future after I have played some of the others!

Some which you see in the above photos, as it started out with me wanting to get the wolf Link amiibo so I could have him with me in BoTW, but then found out after getting the amiibo I needed to level him up in Twilight Princess! So went back to the site I brought him and also regular TP Link for Epona, and found a Wii U and these two box sets of TP and Windwaker, so of course had to buy them both and I am so happy!

So yeah just wanted to show these off a bit as I am so happy with these and I am so excited to play them, have started TP today and I am having way too much fun!

#MessedUpEssy #Essy's Photos #the legend of zelda #so yeah i got two wolf links now #which was not my intention #would just have brought the box one if i had decided to get a wii u first #but oh well #no regrets #the store i got them from is so good tho #im so happy i found them as they are a swedish store selling old games etc #and when i brought the wii u they ended up calling me to give me a little refund #as the person who wrote the info wrote some stuff wrong as there were missing cables etc #so got them cables for free and the refund #will so shop there again #but yeah enjoy my start of my collection #as i believe i will most likely get my hands on more zelda stuff #i am stupidly hooked and just yeah #feels great to be a bit obsessed with something again #also i know my bed is covered in cat hair

[boxwinebaddie]

OMG YOU SAYING KYLE WAS LOOKING FOR HIS RAVEN WAS SOOO CUTE I WANTED TO CRRYYYY😭😭😭😭 omg we always ask u sm ab him finding out ab stan I DIDNT EVEN THINK AB HOW CUTE HED BE BEFORE HE KNOWS AB STAN AND JUST LIKES RAVEN FOR WHO HE IS😭😭 BC OF COURSE KYLE WOULD LIKE RAVEN BEFORE HE KNOWS ITS STAN THEYRE SOULMATES AND FUCKIGN ADORABLE

no...because, when i tell you that of all the sun and moon boy phases, devHellopments & outrageous stages of Ravesey's RealHat(e)ionship

( this includes the pre!rm!flashback and post!rm!ravesey!hating, which is reeeally saying a lot bc i am obsessed with those sections... )

my favorite part of RM is watching ravenstan go from 'crow' or that cocky bleach blonde bastard, tmz bad boy and asshole lead singer raven tiny pants no last name of crimson yawn/harlot sunslut to Just Raven ( i think the 'corbeau' nickname develops here ) to...His Raven.

from jersey's POV, ofc, who is an unreliable narrator because of his mental instability/all the post traumatic stress/sedative medication he's on, but also because his fear of emotional intimacy means that this section is The Jersey Kyle Having A Fat Crush On Raven Phase except kyle is completely in denial abt it...tho it's Pretty Obvious.

-- to everyone But him, naturally. ;)

***this is a long post, my apologies in advance, darlings.

if our re(memory) serves us right, we might recall that for The Hate, ravenstan gave jerseykyle his personal phone number and that is pretty important because they have...Frequent Text Conversations.

not like...That, you guys! they are friendly or the closest kyle can get to being friendly/casual ( which, is all an act of course, and a very badly rehearsed one bc kyle is internally screaming the whole time. ) So, my friends and contemporaries, I will say that, similar to Pep!Kyle, Jersey does also type in complete sentences and use perfect grammar. He is a robot. Beep boop. and ravenstan, like pep!stan, does type like he's being chased by zombies allsklike this lmaooos!

however, despite the eye n brainsore that is having to decode raven's mindblowingly misspelled, emoji-ridden text messages from hell, jersey kyle...does feel alight with joy every single time he gets one.

ravenstan sends the Dumbest things too like, kyle while grabbing something from the back at grounded on the clock, will hear his phone chime ( he forgot to turn it off, yaknow, bc hes forgetting shit ) and his eyes will light up because he thinks it's raven texting him. and he's distracted like his entire shift and is almost burning himself with the big scary coffee machines because all he can think about is how badly he wants to check his phone ( WHICH IS CRAZY IF YOU THINK ABOUT HOW ADVERSE JERSEY IS TO TECHNOLOGY )

so when his break comes around, he literally SPRINTS!!! to the break room to go check his phone, which DIES!!! so he has to plug it in and wait five minutes...only to find that the text message was just one of those credit card scams, BUT THEN!!!! right before he's about to toss his phone back into his bag & scream loudly into his hands...

...bc what the fuck Why Was He Waiting For Raven's Text Message??? ( emphasis on mess ), kyle's phone chimes ang raven sends him 'this u' and its a super blurry picture of a super tall, bushy tree with an out of focus tan-raven-hand peeking out of the corner of it, which you can tell is his because of all the silver hot-topic rings.

the tree was mostly irrelevant to kyle, because he does think raven has pretty hands and was staring at them and NOT the part of the picture he was supposed to be staring which...when he realized that he was like aaaaahhhh! fuck! and Literally Spent His Entire Break googling pictures of trees so he could send one where the leaves were all yellow/dying so he could faux-a(pathetically) text raven back "Haha. Very funny, asshole. This is you, Blondie. Bad roots and all."

and sat there refreshing his phone, five whole minutes late to clocking back in because he was waiting for raven's response ( overthinking it so hard like -- oh god, was that too mean? nice? oh god, what if he thought that was lame? how do u unsend-- ) who just sent back 'lmaaaaosojdsods jajaja' w/ the laughing crying emoji.

...and let me just say that kyle could not even Hear his supervisor yelling at him to get back to work because he was just admiring raven's lame ass reply, feeling a huge surge of pride swell in his chest.

speaking of things swelling in his chest, namely his cold black heart, kyle does feel it literally skip a beat everytime raven sends him something like 'i saw this and i thought of you! <3' kyle thinks that's so nice, his lovely boy truly <3333 who jersey will find any reason to text like sometimes he's literally down so bad that he started giving ravenstan upHates on how suzie is growing.

for example, once kyle texted him ( trying to be chill ):

"Well, she's still alive...I guess."

w/ a picture of her and kyle flipping off the camera n raven texts back a golden retriever boy 'omgomogm shes so tall & red now! looks like her dad more n more everyday lmaoaoa!!! so pretty! ur doing such a good job with her! i knew you would <333' which...okay one praise kink kyle brain go burr bad kyle...but also a heart emoji?

that made him Blush!!!! so naturally he's gotta send back

"Whatever. Fuck off now. Stay tuned next week when I kill her and send you a picture of her CORPSE."

...then his heart hurts because he knows that is going to make raven sad and stressed out and god forbid he start Crying so kyle amends his original Hatement to "Yeah, whatever. Stay tuned next week."

which is worth it because stan sends back:

'looking 4ward 2 it xx'

GAAAAAAAYYYYY

so ky sends raven suzie upHates & curb upHates...raven sends back a lot of excited emojis: he Frequently requests curb pics. on a more frequent and serious note tho, they do ask each other how they're doing a lot. sometimes raven sends 'ugh, sorz 4 the late response. suuuper late day in the studio today. sooo exhausted ://'

kyle literally frowning at his phone!! hes so :(((( his baby whos Naught his baby!!!! he wants to respond so bad/be like rlly overprotective and worried and shit, but he has to be Aloof And Cool and Uninterested so he literally waits like ten minutes exactly to respond just to say 'That sucks, dude. I'm sorry they have you working so late. Don't worry about the late response. I hope your night gets better."

i???? HOPE???? YOUR NIGHT??? GETS BETTER???? LIKE!!! HELLO!! OKAY WHORE!!!! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NEXT!!!! ASK TO HOLD HIS HAND AND KISS HIM ON THE LIPS??? SHUT UPPPPP

raven and kyle also do send good morning/good night texts sometimes omg ( the first voice message on kyles phone is raven singing 'kyyyyleeee broflooovski, get ur ass up and go to school~" which was the most beautiful sound in the world to him aaaa he literally almost wanted to make it the alarm on his phone ( hes down so bad i am in pain ) but blonde squad would give him shit abt it.

they do...ofc...give him SO much shit about it. because kyle broflovski, who literally only used his phone to make necessary phone calls or check his bank statements, during the secret crush yearning phase, was GLUED to his phone, smiling and giggling omg. and they know who it is but that doesn’t stop bebe going 'who're you sextin', kylie? ;)" like the most annoying little sister in the world smh and kyle is just like 'Your Dad, Barbara. Fuck Awhff."

when blonde squad + kyle and craig are hanging out and kyles NOT on his phone, sometimes he's like nervously looking around and craigs like 'what's his deal?' and marjorine is like 'he's waitin for his lil ol band boy-boyfriend to text him back' aND KYLE IS LIKE HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND AND I DON'T CARE IF HE TEXTS ME!!!

then his phone dings and kyle LUNGES for it because oh my god It’s Raven and its just tweek sending him 'SIMP!' in all caps SMHHH they got his ass oh my god...LISTEN GUYS!!! MEN WHO GO TO WAR & DIE HAVE BEEN LESS DEEP IN THE TRENCHES THAN KYLE!!!!

who...oh my god, once he develops the raven crush...ends his manwhore era? LIKE HELLO????? because he literally isn't turning the blondies house into a brothel of dumb disposable for the streets one night stand men bc he is up all night texting raven in the cd hoodie he left, knees to his chest, smiling at his phone.

which!!!!!! it's not just texts tbh!!! the worst part about stan's death was that kyle had virtually ( literally ) no pictures of him other than the polaroids, school pictures, the newspaper clippings of his death. but raven of crimson dawn...HIS DIGITAL EMO BOY DOC MARTEN COMBAT BOOT SHAPED FOOTPRINT IS HUGE OMG!!!! there is so much raven content on the internet both commercialized and fanmade, like there are so many pictures and videos of raven.

and jersey...does fall down The Raven Rabbit Hole...smh.

he is in class watching crimson music videos, grades slipping, he's at home in his room watching interviews ( but not even for the parts where he's being sexy and cool -- he's watching them for that five seconds where raven laughes or drops something and swears really loudly and aggressively in spanish and then goes 'fuck! i'm sorry' and then is like 'wait, Shit, i said it again' 'oh FUCK i--can you edit this out please?' and hes so embarrassed omg kyle is like cutecuteCUTE )

on a down horrendous note, raven does upload a lot of videos of him doing toolshed!stan things where he fixes up crim, his motorcycle, and sometimes is on live just working on her answering questions aaa smh THE AMOUNT OF TIMES KYLE HAS WATCHED THE RAVEN OF CRIMSON DAWN TATTOO TOUR VIDEO????? specifically this one part where raven pRETENDS TO LIFT HIS SHIRT UP? and then is like woops ;) just kidding. that's a secret <3 AND KYLE FALLS FOR IT EVERYTIME!!!!! WHEN I TELL YOU HE WAS REWINDIN!

kyle....needs to go to horny boy AND SIMP JAIL!!!! RN!!!

okay, last thing about the simp era and texting is that even tho there's a ton of pictures of raven on the internet, hes...moderately possessive im so sorry, so when he gets pictures of raven that raven just sent to him and no one else has...he is like Feral omg.

( theres also a nsfw hc abt this but again, more on that later smh... )

but they're the most cryptid pictures ever of him like in a face mask or like crying bc someone let him pet their dog and took a picture of him w/ them, or omfg, like ravenstan being like ew management sent these pants over but they make my legs look really weird idk ( this is not bait btw he literally is just self concious ) what do you think and kyle is trying to fight the urge to send BARK BARK BARK WOOGA AWOOGA shdlkshds lmaooo and is like 'They're just pants. Get over it. You look fine." then is like fUCK AAA. 'Your PANTS look fine.'

-- but yeah...simp kyle...i love you.

my fave versions of jersey are simp jersey and slut jersey.

OKAY GUYS, i'm actually done now, i just really wanted to show y'all the Raven of Crimson Dawn vs. 'My Raven thing is extremely real bc

because there is a vapid, airheaded celebrity boy who does whatever management tells him, has no original thoughts, is constantly wasted and on some fuck shit, a total degenerate, bag of wet bleached hair, a corporate manwhorbrat sellout who is nothing but trouble aka lead singer of crimson dawn raven too tight pants no last name lip ring

aaaaaaaaaaaand there is a sweet, lovely boy who holds the door open for fifteen minutes because he wants to make sure everyone gets inside safely, swears really loud in spanish when he drops something as little as a plastic fork, knows the scientific name of like every plant and also has stupid little names for all of them, sings to them every morning and every night, has adhd but remembers kyles crazy class schedule, always asks if he's eaten or drank water, was voted people magazines sexiest man alive and thinks hes absolutely hideous in every conceivable way, cries and dyes his hair frequently, bites his lip when nervous, is super lame, believe in true destiny, fate and true love, loves with his whole soft, marshmallow heart, and that is...

...His Raven. :')

-uncle nina who may have a Branch in her eye ;-;;; </3

p.s. last last last thing, liking raven does also make kyles ptsd really really bad so like stan is causing the episodes, but then where jersey would usually whip out a cigarette, he just texts stan or watches a video of him laughing or something and puts the box down AAAA

( he do be watching those Raven Of Crimson Dawn Being Cute For Fifteen Minutes Complications on youtube...smh...SIMP!!!!! )

#i have so much to say about this #but i hope this suffices bc i need to stop answering 237092732 ask messages abt rm bc im obsessed #when i tell u jersey sees raven doin messy hotshotboy shit or just bein managements marionette/their pretty boy puppet #and is like ew whatever literally fuck this guy #but raven doing sweet boy stan stuff and being awkward and helping people n checking on him and being like fml i started crying again #kyle is like...oh god i want to kiss you so BAD #its the way kyle just thinks he has a type...im crying omg #like ur type is stanley marsh #specifically in a hot boy punk rockstar font #BUT THE DISTINCTION IS VERY REAL GUYS #THERE IS RAVEN OF CRIMSON AKA THEIR RAVEN #WHO OOZES SENSUALITY N POWERSLIDES ON STAGE IN THE TINY PANTS MANAGEMENT MAKES HIM WEAR #AND THERE IS HIS RAVEN WHO WANTS TO WEAR SWEAT PANTS EVERYWHERE HAS A LITTLE GIRLS STICKER STUCK TO HIS CHEEK #AND THAT IS KYLES RAVEN #thank you for coming to my ted talk #ill edit this so it sounds better later but i wanted to get this across bc i was oddly passionate abt it lmao

[newbiealliance]

ithink hearing that someone thinks liam would listen to cavetown caused me actual damage. like i feel like my hp just went down. this guy works in an office and listens to black metal and would apparently 'name a cat something practical, like Fluffy.' he feels like the epitome of the : | type autism . he would never listen to cavetown . i hope this ask isnt weird or silly but like i have a phd in studying liam . i genuinely study the source material soooooo much to make sure i mischaracterize him as LITTLE as possible and the amount that he is depicted as 'cute' by fans is like PAINFUL . i have 'obsessed w accuracy' autism so im like augh he would NOT fucking say that . i undeerstand so much (also sending this in an ask bc i agree with you SO much but i am NOT ready to put how much i hate ones fanon on my blog bc i feel like its batting at a hornets nest w how much people stick to it. you are so brave for posting abt it its unreal)

YOURE RIGHT THOUGH. idk what it IS but so many people. cutesify him?? infantilize him?? idk how to explain it. i dont wanna be too mean bc its usually just a young kid projecting onto a character they like but like. seeing people say liam listens to cavetown and lemon demon and likes kidcore and plays animal crossing and cries when people yell at him (which like this isnt even just a personal thing for me its completely against how he is in canon) and is a Sweet Soft Sensitive baby who can do no wrong gives me psychic damage. like I Know there are people irl who like these things. i myself like these things!! im not saying that theyre bad or its "cringe" to like them because frankly i disagree with cringe culture fundamentally. but these weird cutesy headcanons for him like he isnt a severely traumatized ADULT man (who is definitely neurodivergent dont even @ me) just feel wrong to me especially when they completely disregard what kind of person he is in canon. im not saying people arent allowed to have these interpretations but im just putting it out there that i dont agree with them and they make me uncomfortable sometimes 😭

and of course im not saying that *my* interpretation is the only right one. there are no right or wrong interpretations for characters its just that fandom has a very bad habit of flanderizing or stripping down their beloved characters and it's just as much a problem in the osc as well

also i need to be honest. there are so many character headcanon things that just list the same 3 bands that people think these characters listen to. and i mean this with no malice or resentment but yall have GOT to expand your music horizons. they cant all be tally hall and lemon demon fans /lh

#also same with the “obsessed with accuracy” thing #i got the kinda autism that makes me fussy over the smallest details #also im a 2016 eddsworld veteran #ive had enough of “uwu soft baby boy” types being leveled at grown ass men for a life time #also again ik the black metal thing was a half joke on cheesys part #but i like it a lot and it's word of god so i might as well lean into it right 😭 #im not trying to be prudent or shame anyone for having certain headcanons #but liam is my special little guy and i get neurotic when people misinterpret him #same goes for airy and bryce