#im like the crypt keeper

[hellmxuths]

is this still a thing on here?

dude. have i really gotten that old on here??? i forget how to switch to the website perspective to ya know... code my background n shit. did that go away or sumthing???

#tumblr #help #elder millennial #wtf do i do #tumblr staff #im like the crypt keeper

[pluttskutt]

Aging. Yuck. Nothing good comes out of it

#dellas life slice #nothing #im like the crypt keeper

[avarkriss]

been seeing all these ghost posts only to realize they are, in fact, not about the band 💀

#im like the crypt keeper

[vulcanette]

I haven’t thought about Short Circuit in. Years. And yet I wrote “Johnny Five” so casually …..

#IM LIKE THE CRYPT KEEPER

[emotedllama]

Oh shit, yesterday was my 10-year anniversary on Tumblr.

#im like the crypt keeper

[smcganns]

Tumblr is recommending posts from your blog from 2013 to me, and I just need to give you a shout out for 10+ years of dedication to Stephen McGann 😄👍🏻

good lord im old !!!

i remember coming up with this blog as a tiny baby college graduate 😂😂

the smcganns energy is still out here smcgannzing- i saw some over on twitter just the other day

you cannot keep this man from his feral dad energy, and for that we say thank you

#smcganns #TEN years???? good lord #stephen mcgann #call the midwife #stephen mcgann is a human disaster #*jamie lee curtis voice* oh im like the CRYPT KEEPER

[gizkasparadise]

holy fuck my fic start a war is almost 10 years old???

#brought to you by people reading it post s2 im guessing since ive been getting traffic on it again <3 #insert im like the crypt keeper meme #darklina #fanfic #grisha trilogy

[television-overload]

Whenever I randomly remember things from my earliest childhood memories, things that don't exist anymore really like the DVD rental place at my old grocery store and grocery stores that had tables and chairs inside to eat at, I think of that "Sure, Grandma, let's get you to bed" meme

#im sure these exist still at some stores but not mine #also sadly my childhood grocery store closed many many years ago. #oh and the walmart fish tanks #television before hdtv #driving using an atlas #calling information to get the phone number for a restaurant to make a reservation #phone books #im not supposed to feel old im 24 #miss those days :( #mostly miss how it was easier to live in the world without access to the entire planet's worth of information in my pocket #oh lord i just remembered looking up things in a physical dictionary or encyclopedia #*insert im like the crypt keeper freaky friday gif here* #random #2000s nostalgia #1990s nostalgia

[ganymedian]

It’s been almost 10 years since the release of Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs

#whattttttt #IM LIKE THE CRYPT KEEPER AUUUUGUGH

[theissuewithred]

I might have gotten an award for knowing what im doing but i in fact have no idea what im doing and i was just winging it the whole fuckin time

Also i put away laundry that one time

#scare actor #six flags fright fest #fright fest #fright fest scare actor #crypt keeper #i also got the award cause i tried to go through the trash to find a prop for my supervisor #but mostly the pretending to know what im doing #like yeah i do my job good thats cause i fuckin guessed at what to do and ended up doing it right #anyway i miss scaring

[starchaserdreams]

Me, in my head, when I saw an 18 y/o say something irritating on Tumblr: I was obsessed with the Marauders before you were even born.

And then WAIT

OH GOD IT'S TRUE

#oh god im like the crypt keeper #30+ marauders fans #wolfstar #millennial marauders fans #the old guard of harry potter fans #sirius black was my teenage crush #i was in love with sirius black before you were even born #thatd be 2005 #most of the books were out by then! #im solidly in the camp of #prisoner of azkaban is my favorite hp book #marauders #marauders era #dead gay wizards #harry potter

[sleepyschmoop]

was reminded of a vine at work yesterday and referenced it to the teen i work with and not only did she not know the vine she didn't know what vine was

brb crumbling into dust as we speak

#vine #a text post #jamie lee curtis voice: im like the crypt keeper

[heartshapedbubble]

I was wondering if I could request some novelist with an s/o who has the occupation of being an assassin and headcanons about the first impressions and how they develop a crush on them

I'M SO HAPPY IM FINALLY GETTING ORPHY ASKS !!!!! here you go anon B)

also small cw for mentions of murder/blood

orpheus with an assassin s/o hcs📕

orpheus is perhaps one of the most mysterious people in the manor since he doesn't have a lot of friends, nor does he interact with a lot of people

it's no different when you appear in the manor - however, orpheus is VERY good at reading people, and can sense if someone's too dangerous to be near them

even though he never directly approached you, you could see him lurking around the shadowy corners of the manor, his eyes following you each time you walked through the corridors

he's very fascinated, indeed, but doesn't want to approach you first since you seem like the type of person that doesn't tolerate any bullshit (/hj)

...sooo your initial proper meeting would be in a place where orpheus lurks often (aka the library)

you approached him, asking if he had a book you were trying to borrow

he leads you towards a bookcase, and as you're inspecting the covers, you hear him slowly yet clearly whisper behind you

"i thought things like books were not an assassin's field of interest."

you turned around, dumbfounded - how could he possibly know? it's something you've been keeping a secret from even your closest friends, for god's sake. he didn't even interact with you once during your time in the manor. something was up

you slowly approached him, muttering: "i... don't know who told you that, or how do you know, but all i'm asking from you is to keep it a secret." your hand roamed your thigh, taking out a sharpened switchblade and pointing it at him. "that secret goes into the grave with both me and you."

he was unphased, his neutral, lost-in-thought expression still in tact even after your threat. "i'm fine with that. alright then, you can continue searching. i'm only glad i clarified my suspicions."

after that orpheus wasn't to be seen around, yet you felt like he was constantly watching you, making you randomly shiver and look around in fear

yet one day, you hear an unexpected knock on the door, and oh boy guess who it is?? your brand new secret keeper in the flesh - orpheus himself

he just came to give you a book he thought you'd like - still weird. but as you open the first page, a letter falls out

it's undoubtedly his sharp, curved writing, the words confessing of how he sensed (and deduced) that you were an assassin, and an apology for the scare he gave you

it was peculiar, but you found yourself frequently turning towards the library afzer that, inhaling the smell of book paper and watching orpheus scrape the yellowed paper with his quill as if he was a precise machine

you decide to start chatting with him to pass the time

once his stern façade slowly dropped, you both realized it was really pleasant talking to each other - orpheus was like a crypted safe filled with treasure, and with each of his witty sentences and remarks you heard a click

he likes writing detective novels and often casually asks you detailed things about murder, or inspects your blades (if you let him)

"___, is hitting someone with a blunt object and blaming it on internal bleeding due to high blood pressure a good way to murder someone without getting caught?" "i suppose so. it depends on the other factors." "splendid."

he's not the best with speaking to someone in person so he confesses to you via letters - his letters could truly be considered his magnum opus. he puts so much love in them, every single sentence making you red and showing his love in the purest way possible

even though he's a romantic at heart pushing out his cute side will take some time

his love language is a mix of giving gifts and quality time - he's incredibly thoughtful with every gift he gives you, from a first-release edition of your favourite book from an antique shop, to a bouquet of your favorite flowers and to a small blade with a beautiful painted handle. of course, he likes both giving and receiving words of affirmation too, but he does it best on paper

if you're touchy it might take some time for him to get comfortable so he starts off with simple gestures like wrapping his arms around your waist or resting his head on your shoulder when he's behind you (it's his favorite thing in the world :'D)

just give him lots of time and space to get comfortable around you, he's truly a great partner and probably the best person you can be next to <3

#identity v #idv #idv headcanons #idv imagines #identity v headcanons #idv fanfic #identity v x reader #idv scenarios #idv x reader #identity v x you #idv orpheus #identity v orpheus #idv novelist #identity v novelist #orpheus idv #novelist idv #novelist identity v

[moonspower]

im gonna say this cuz i see it so often. yall gotta let this shit about being 30+ an elderly age go. even as a joke. because tumblr audiences cant take a fucking joke and project everything to personality traits. no, being 30+ isnt old. and if you think that, youre gonna spin ur ass into an existential crisis. also ur a victim of capitalism so maybe take care of that.

being 30+ isnt being an oldie and muses in their 30s and older arent crypt keepers. holy shit. and you arent really helping saying that shit when a lot of 30+ typists are the targets of call-out posts because theyre fucking weird. just be normal and accept that aging and being 30 and up is a thing. and dont put any more thought into it.

yall are weird.

im almost 32 and i dont feel like an old person at all. actually im living up to my beauty queen trophies and my wisdom and my spark for life.

cut that social conditioning out and show the younger people that being 30 is perfectly fine.

edit: if you're 30+ be normal and stop being a fucking dipshit thnk you.

#🌙 OOC! THE CROWN GLITTERS ON AN EARTH SIGN. #/ we need to cut this divide OUT. #/ u can rb this i dont give a shit.

[stinkrascal]

also this is spoilers but i saw this on reddit and now i must scream about it sooooo spoilers for the end of wyll's romance maybe idk

okay tbh i cant confirm if this is true cuz i havent even beaten the game yet HA but people wouldnt lie on the internet right.... but anyways i saw that someone said one of wyll's romance endings is that he becomes a duke and you guys get MARRIED omg... and it has been on my mind all day and now im having very intense aza/wyll thoughts but mostly aza though aha

listen. just. just listen. okay. picturing aza going from a painfully awkward and socially inept crypt keeper living underground among the dwarves and the deceased, to the wife of the charismatic, renowned grand duke of baldur's gate, UGH. learning to socialize properly with nobility, learning how to maintain small talk, adjusting to the sheer size of their estate, free of cold drafts and water leaks. and the SUNLIGHT? the way it shines through the windows every morning, to remind her another day has come? and how much more comfortable the beds are when they're made of fur and feathers, not stone. and the way she's obviously very out of place, especially as a tiefling living among the upper echelon of baldur's gate, i'm sure she sticks out like a sore thumb. i'm sure she's turned lots of heads while incessantly infodumping about the best way to preserve a dead body, not yet understanding that nobility often aren't fixated on such things the same way she is lol. she's still a little weird and unsettling and unsure of how to handle herself in such a new environment, but hey... it's a lot more fun learning the nuance of courtly dance than it is trying to get a wriggly tadpole out of your head! she'll take the fright of social anxiety over that any day.

anyways. dies

#bg3 spoilers #off topic but i wish bg3 wouldnt force your character to be baldurian #because i created aza with my friend for his dnd campaign and shes not from baldurs gate! shes from a place called understone #which is a dwarven city. idk if thats a 'canon' dnd city or a city my friend made up but #aza was raised among the dwarves. her father was a dwarf who adopted her named fodmock thunderbeard #he was the crypt keeper of the city of understone before passing away. then aza took over #and obviously i dont expect bg3 to get every detail on my oc's backstory right dafhjoiarejgfiretg but there could be something more yk #than forcing your characters to be from bg! like even really vague options i would be satisfied with #if anything id like really vague options more bc it could act as a guidance for new players who struggle w coming up w backstories #like me lol #idk i just think thats a weird oversight! so let it be known aza doesnt know shit about the city #aza is the equivalence of a country girl in my heart. shes like the breanna of my bg3 universe #very silly and very very autistic

[cloysterbell]

im so excited for everything coming next with doctor who but also lowkey feel like the crypt keeper with millie gibson/ruby sunday coming on board, talking about how she “grew up” watching amy pond on the tv as a child lmao ;__; she’ll be great, can’t wait to see her and ncuti gatwa together

When Matt was first cast as the Doctor, I was 16ish and I remember wondering why everyone was calling him so young because he was only 26, that's not young at all, 26 is a good age! But now I'm 29 and it's like no yeah that man was a baby. 26 isn't a real age, you're basically still in diapers

#questionbell #anonymous #here's my hottest take: I'd be perfectly okay with skipping the entire 60th and diving straight into ncuti's episodes #you can't win me over with your nostalgia RTD I never gave up on the show in the first place