once again thinking about how the fandom treats Kristina like she’s the devil incarnate and often refuses to see the same amount of depth in her as they do the other characters
once again thinking about how there are less than 25 fanfics on ao3 currently tagged “Good Parent Kristina” and over 100 tagged “Bad Parent Kristina”
once again thinking about how i can hardly ever find a fic, even that isn’t under the bad parent tag, that doesn’t have Kristina acting like a horrible terrible villain
once again thinking about how just because the way that Kristina behaves isn’t “Perfect Ideal Mother” this means that she must not love her children at all and will actively never choose their happiness or ever consider their feelings
once again thinking about how Linda’s problems parenting are constantly ignored just because we do see her show affection to her kids, and apparently that’s the only thing that’s needed to make a good parent and any absence of this makes you a terrible parent and person
once again thinking about how Ludvig shows little interest in understanding Wilhelm, actively ignores what he says at the table, never speaks up for him, and yet the fandom would constantly rather make him a perfect and loving parent over Kristina, who we see doing what she thinks is best to protect her son, implying that she fought with the royal court to make sure Wilhelm would stay heir (something that, despite his outbursts, Wilhelm has said he wanted, if only to honor Erik), and specifically stating that she loves him and has no problem with his queerness, or with him liking Simon, aside from the scandal of the video.
once again thinking about how people will give August the benefit of the doubt, talk about how his character is deep and complex and how much they love that about his character, but absolutely refuse to see any deeper meaning or possible feelings in what Kristina does because clearly she’s just a horrible person and there is no depth to her at all
once again thinking about how much of my own mother i see in Kristina and how much it pains me to see people saying that Kristina is an irredeemable villain who only exists to bring pain to her son because i know my mother loves me even when she makes mistakes and says things that hurt sometimes, because i know my mother is also human and thus not perfect.
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Listen, I know this might sound untrue, but Arthur IS mostly a bad dude—or at least not as good a man as some claim. (I love him still but hear me out)
This is not me arguing “he’s bad so you shouldn’t like/glorify him” at all, I promise—I can’t stand that rhetoric. It’s just that I see a lot of “he’s so kind” “so good at heart” “so hard on himself” and I wonder why folks so often adamantly, un-ironically claim him as a misunderstood gentle giant type.
The fact that he’s mostly nice to those he cares about and is willing to help strangers in need (never mind both of those things are optional anyhow, you can just as easily play him as an asshole who doesn’t come to anyone’s aid—) doesn’t undo the harm he’s responsible for throughout the game. Nor does him being told to do so by an authority or being a victim of circumstance undo it.
His good doesn’t make up for his bad, and I don’t think it actually needs to. His bad certainly doesn’t take away from what makes him compelling and likeable to the audience; but within the context of his world, he’s right to be unhappy with who he is. It’s not a matter of low self esteem or self worth issues, his unhappiness with himself comes from self awareness.
(Saying this with a grain of salt because you know, fictional character with no real agency whose actions are as such for plot reasons), he may have had a shit hand dealt to him, but he’s a person who makes bad choices. He’s charming and relatable (and hot lol) but I’m not sure I understand the whole simplifying his character to “good person stuck in bad situation” thing, when it plainly isn’t the case, no matter how much we like him.
I think the “you’re a good man Arthur” line gets thrown around as proof of him being good at heart; but I think it’s more like, he needed to hear it to act as such. He needed to be told how to be good and pushed into reflection and immediate actions. He needed to be told that he’s a good man by others because he needed permission in a sense to be different than he knows himself to be. (Take a shot every-time I say good)
“The Thomas Downes mission was out of character” it really isn’t. He says what kind of man he is multiple times, he hammers the point home that he’s a bad man. And while there is definitely a bit of self loathing in that sentiment, he’s still speaking his truth. He’s just unhappy with it; he IS the type of man to commit an atrocity like beating a dying man for a few bucks. It goes against the beliefs fans have projected onto him, usually coming from their own moral compass instead of what the character shows his own to be, and that’s why it ‘feels so wrong’ to see him doing something actually despicable.
We arrive at this misunderstanding due to fandom projection, as well as this rampant desire to problem solve by ‘fixing’ the canon material to fit a sort of agenda. Ie, ‘I only like the good attributes in this character’ ‘it’s only acceptable to like this bad dude provided he’s always feeling guilt for his actions’ or ‘he’s not really at fault for them.’
But the thing is, even if Arthur is at conflict with his actions, the guilt he may feel isn’t an indication of anything pure within him. He’s in total control and chooses still to go along with everything. I tend to think an action done in guilt is functionally the same as an action done with enjoyment. Arthur feeling bad at the end of the game for his faults and complicity doesn’t mean he is good. Nor does it mean he ‘was a good the whole time’, nor does it excuse what he’s done.
We don’t have to make him a better person than he is in order to like him, is what I’m trying to say I guess. It’s fine to acknowledge all parts of him, to do otherwise does a disservice to his character as it often flattens them beyond recognition. And it’s also fine to hone in on what you appreciate most and write and draw and celebrate that while functionally ignoring the rest if you so choose—but it’s also fine (and usually important) to acknowledge who the character is without the plethora of projections placed upon them.
Arthur ends the game with a loving act, more or less saving John, saving Abigail, Tilly, paving the way for them to become something better than he was. None of these things are meant to be a great action done to save his soul or redeem him in any eyes, especially not his own. He dies on a good note (and yeah I would say low honour/back for the money is still a ‘good’ choice for a low honour story), and shifts his focus to the last good deed he’s done in his final moment as a way to leave off peacefully despite all his wrongdoings. He doesn’t get redemption really, and he doesn't wholly achieve 'goodness', despite all the potential for growth the audience can see in him, that’s the deliberate tragedy of it all.
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Why is everyone so fucking MEAN about sex all the time? It makes me scared to ask questions and makes me feel pressured to do certain things even if my partner hasnt been like “actually you HAVE TO do this.”
Like, its hard to have fun when I’m thinking about how I cant bottom because then im weak and submissive but I cant top because then Im exerting a superiority complex. Theres so many weird ideas about sex in the world, even and especially on this website and especially in response to your posts from people claiming to agree with you. How do you block them all out?
hey. I'm really sorry for the experiences you've had that make it hard to enjoy sex. people love to extrapolate very small amounts of information into stereotypes that make other people easier to understand, but as with all other stereotypes, the assumptions that are tied to different sexual positions have very little bearing on reality. people's sexual preferences actually don't tell you anything except for what gets them off.
the fear of asking questions is rampant in tons of places, but it can feel particularly brutal when it comes to sexuality. and it's crazy that we keep perpetuating it, because it's not helping anybody! it is in fact hurting very many people. that's a big part of why I like doing sex ed with kids graders so much. they feel awkward about asking questions, sure, but they're so much less self-conscious about not knowing things, and when they learn new information they're infinitely more receptive to incorporating it into their worldview than many adults. their preconceived notions are SOOOOO much easier to disassemble!
anyway, as for your actual question: this is going to sound like a flippant answer, but it's genuinely not something I struggle with at all. I'm what some would call extremely secure in my sense of self and the strength of my own ideas and convictions, and what other people might call a heinously stubborn bitch. I can differentiate good faith criticism, feedback, and additions from people talking out of their asses, and the latter just does no warrant a place in my interiority. like what's the point, you know? it doesn't spark joy.
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hey im sorry if you already answered this and i don’t mean to antagonize you, but out of curiosity: why do you tag your Palestine posts with feminism? i don’t want to come off as rude but it did kind of confuse me at first
It's no worries at all, I have addressed this a handful of times, and another person asked me, and I answered. The anon question is deep in my page, so I'll share some posts I've spoken about why more feminists need to be talking about Gaza below, and address why not talking about this as a feminist issue is problematic.
The fight to dismantle power structures and institutions doesn't end at the patriarchy, but when there is an end to white supremacy, capitalism, and western imperialism, among other axises of oppression.
Strides and fights to liberation shouldn't be cherry-picked (we see this predominantly in white feminism -who only act when it personally effects them). And at the most technical level, women's experiences are intersectional and extend beyond just liberation from gender norms and expectations -yes, it is at the core of feminist discourse, to shatter ceilings and demand equity across the board, but that also includes the intersections -race, class status, disability, sexuality, religion, ethnicity, among many other aspects of our identities.
Women and children are also disproportionately impacted and killed by IOF terrorism. They are targeted purposely, and I addressed this in some of the posts below. An IOF official liked a post that said Palestinian women part of the 'Hamas infrastructure' and said they must be 'dealt' with via their deaths. Pregnant Palestinian women are being left without care during their trimesters, and tens of thousands of them have zero to inadequate care; and many are miscarrying. There is also a period care shortage, and many Palestinians have resorted to using cloths. Which overall the lack of access can cause health ramifications in the future.
So this is why ALL my posts are tagged with feminist and feminism. Especially when the IOF regularly uses 'don't the feminists of the world care that Hamas is raping Israeli women' in their propoganda videos and campaigns in order to spread misinformation and weaponize women's and feminist liberation movements to excuse their genocide of Palestinian people.
We should also not forget about the rampant sexual violence Palestinian women and children have and continue to experience by abusive, predatory rapists among the IOF soldiers, both past and present. Especially in the prisons' systems. I talk about this a lot on my page. So much of what I included below is only a fraction of what I have spoken about. My bottom line is if you're a feminist who talks about "women's liberation" and that doesn't include ALL women being systematically oppressed by settler/imperial/colonial forces, and you're especially not critical of your governments being complicit or funding a genocide, don't call yourself a feminist.
I hope this offers some clarity.
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My Notification of the End of the World
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