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dessarious · 4 years

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Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt76

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

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That night Chloe and Marinette were at the hotel. Marinette felt somewhat guilty for the way she’d been relying on Chloe. Even now she was using her as a pillow because she just couldn’t get comfortable on her own. Granted Chloe hadn’t complained at all but between feeling useless and taking up all her time Marinette was starting to feel like a huge burden.

“I know you’re not asleep, you’re far too tense. What’s wrong?” She jumped a little at Chloe’s voice, but couldn’t bring herself to look up at her.

“Why don’t you like Barbara?” Marinette didn’t even know where the question came from. Yes, the tension had been strange but it wasn’t Chloe’s normal hostile attitude towards those she didn’t like either. She’d been planning on just leaving it alone unless they interacted more. However she also didn’t want to discuss what was actually bothering her.

“It’s not that I don’t like her…” Chloe paused and Marinette looked up to see her frowning in thought.

“You don’t know why you reacted that way.” It wasn’t a question but Chloe nodded anyway. “Do you have any guesses? Or does it feel like something you’ve experienced before?” Marinette had learned not to just ignore feelings like this. First because, with the Miraculous especially, their instincts were there for a reason and ignoring them wasn’t a good idea. Second, letting Chloe mull over a problem by herself had a tendency to blow up in everyone’s face.

“It sort of feels like the way I was with you when we were little. I think…” She paused and Marinette just waited, hugging her a bit tighter so she’d know it was okay. “I think I’m jealous that she can understand you in a way I can’t. That you can share things with her you can’t with me.” The words were soft, like she didn’t want to be heard. “It’s stupid I know.”

“Your feelings aren’t stupid and I’m glad you told me.” Marinette paused to think about the problem. Unfortunately it was something time was likely to fix. “She might have a better understanding of what I’m going through, but you’re the one here with me all the time. You’re living through it with me and that’s far more important. Assuming you don’t get sick of me using you as a horse, pillow, and errand girl before I get things figured out and can actually do things on my own again.”

“Until we figure things out. And honestly I like being with you all the time. Not to mention I actually feel needed which is really nice. I know it’s selfish but before this happened I always felt like more of a tag a long than anything else. I’ve been waiting for you to decide that you deserve better, or that I’m just a phase you’re going through. Now I at least feel useful.” That finally caused Marinette to really look at her. The guilt in her expression hurt, as did knowing that she’d missed this, probably since they started dating.

“Chloe, you’ve never been a phase and even if there’s better out there, which I highly doubt, I don’t want it. I want you.” The look of shock and hope on her face caused another wave of guilt. “What’s more I need you, and not because of my legs. Whenever I feel like I can’t do something, or like I’m a failure, you’re there to tell me to get over myself and do it. Whenever everything gets too overwhelming you’re there to pick it apart into manageable pieces. When everything is just too much, you’re there to tell me that I don’t have to do everything by myself. I don’t need you because I can’t walk. I need you because you’re you.”

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Damian was texting Luka on the burner phone he’d bought not long after finding out Marinette was Ladybug. He’d wanted a way to communicate that his family wouldn’t have access to so that they didn’t get information they shouldn’t have. He was especially grateful for that device now that Drake was in Paris.

“Do you really have a boyfriend?” Tim’s question caused him to roll his eyes. He didn’t bother answering. No one in his family seemed to know what to do with that information though he didn’t know why. It didn’t seem to be attached to the fact that he liked another boy either. “It’s just… honestly with the way you act around other people and the fact that you’ve never really shown interest in anyone before we all kind of figured you were ace.”

Damian leveled his brother with a flat look. Once he’d started feeling things for Luka he’d done a lot of research on sexual and romantic attraction. The sheer number of orientations and vocabulary was honestly annoying to him. He understood that most people wanted to feel like there were other people out there that were the same as them, but it seemed like there were so many overly specific descriptions that it just made his head hurt. Eventually he decided that finding a specific label for what he was, wasn’t just unnecessary, but also limiting. He didn’t want to put himself in a box that would define him when he wasn’t certain about any of it in the first place.

“I didn’t realize you all talked about my personal life so much. You really should concentrate on your own rather than try to analyze mine.” Tim frowned at him but it looked more like confusion than insulted.

“We care about you, whether you want to believe it or not, and we want you to be happy. I just don’t want you feeling like you have to be with someone if you don’t really want to be.” Damian could only scoff and the stupidity of that statement.

“When do I ever do something I don’t want to do without one of you forcing it on me?” Tim actually flinched at the question. It was true though. His family had an incredibly annoying habit of not only inserting themselves where they weren’t wanted, but also pushing him where they wished with no real regard for what he wanted.

“We’re just trying to help you. You act so certain of everything but you’re still just a kid and considering a lot of your attitude and opinions were set by your mother we want to try and make you open to new things.” That just brought another eye roll.

“And you really think forcing me to do things against my will or better judgement actually makes me more open to things? Given the fact that none of you even bother to ask me what I think or feel about anything you’re just projecting your assumptions on me before making decisions about what I should or shouldn’t like or do. None of you know me at all yet you constantly feel the need to ‘fix’ me. All you’re really doing is making me less likely to try things on my own since I know you’ll all just fixate on it and then force me to do it the way you think I should.”

Tim was looking at him like he’d never seen him before but Damian just ignored him and continued texting. That was another reason he didn’t want to label himself. Everyone in his life already did it for him, no matter how inaccurate it actually was.

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#maribat #marinette dupen chang #Damian Wayne #bffmaridami

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taexual · 5 years

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HOLIC - 44 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: it’s just raw angst

words: 7.2k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

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It only took you a few days to finish editing all of the pictures you’d taken of Jaebum that night. You ran them by him first – and smacked him when he tried to make you swear he’d always be your only model – and then emailed them to his agency. You still needed their approval so, even though Jaebum had insisted you take these pictures, it was possible that his employers were going to end up hiring someone else, after all.

Except, as you learned on your way to work that Friday, they didn’t. As it turned out, the only problem Jaebum’s producer had with the pictures you’ve taken was that he couldn’t choose one. It felt like the biggest compliment you’ve ever been told.

The entire day would have been wonderful – Fridays already carried a certain aura of just being plain great – had it not been for a text Jiho sent you right when you were wrapping up, ready to head home. Apparently, his old friend was holding an exhibition at one of the out-of-town galleries he’d worked with before so you needed to keep your Saturday free.

Grateful that he’d warned you—sort of—in advance this time, you texted back in confirmation and were surprised to learn that Jiho actually expected you to bring your camera to the exhibition. For a moment, you thought he’d found out you’d taken Jaebum up to the balcony and had completely stolen Jiho’s photoshoot spot, so he was now going to get back at you by taking your camera and locking it away or something equally as unrealistic. But then you realized that made no sense – even if he had learned about your impromptu photoshoot, why would he try to get back at you? You’d done nothing wrong. Quite the opposite, actually.

Getting the approval of Jaebum’s agency provided you with a huge boost of confidence that you obviously needed. They liked your pictures so much, they didn’t know which ones to use – that had to mean you were, at least, somewhat better than average at what you did. What was more, that had to mean that, perhaps, you’d been too pessimistic about the number of opportunities you would get to make yourself known. Maybe you wouldn’t have to completely rely on Jiho to get your name out there, after all.

In the time leading up to the exhibition you had to attend with Jiho that Saturday night, you couldn’t get the memory of the photoshoot with Jaebum out of your head. Taking pictures of him had been nothing short of wonderful. You both had fun – although you did nearly freeze your hands off – and just seeing him through the lens of your camera inspired you so much, you had come up with three new ideas for a photoshoot if this one didn’t work out. But it did work out. Not only did you thoroughly enjoy the photoshoot itself, but the end result was also splendid. You couldn’t have been happier.

However, ruining the utter bliss of your routine with Jaebum as the two of you munched on pizza in his bed that Friday night, you got a call from Hyojin who was demanding to see you immediately. Normally, you’d have turned any offer to go out down – there was simply nothing you’d have rather done that what you’d already been doing – but because she was one of your best friends and, frankly, she sounded absolutely terrifying on the phone, you forced yourself out of bed.

“Are you seriously leaving right when Johnny Depp discovers the—”

“Oh, no,” you stopped Jaebum by extending your hand in front of his face. “Just because you’ve seen Sleepy Hollow before doesn’t mean you get to spoil the ending for me. Or watch it without me. Pause it, I won’t be long.”

“That’s not the ending, it’s barely even the middle,” he mumbled, pausing the movie nevertheless. “And are you saying I’m going to have to stare at the ceiling while I wait for you?”

“It’s just fifteen minutes,” you said. “Jacob’s dropping her off in front of our building. There’s no way Hyojin will make him wait for very long.”

“Why is she coming all this way over here, anyway?” he asked, already knowing all about your friends and their boyfriends. “And, at this hour, nonetheless?”

“It’s nine on a Friday night,” you said matter-of-factly. “She was probably out drinking like normal people do. It’s just you and I who get drunk on a Monday night instead.”

Jaebum grinned at the jab. “Fair point. I’ve paused the movie for you – consider that when you’re out and don’t keep me waiting for too long.”

“I will keep your sacrifices in mind,” you leaned over to kiss him and then stumbled out of his bedroom, your jeans still only halfway on.

Hyojin hadn’t been to your neighborhood before and it showed – she had her boyfriend drive around the block three times before she called and got you to come to the building they’d eventually parked outside of. But even despite getting lost, she looked like she thought that coming all the way over here was worth it.

“It’s great to see you,” you told her after the two of you hugged hello. “But, seriously, what’s up? You’ve never driven this far for me before, usually we just—”

“No, I know,” she cut you off, pulling her phone out of her pocket. “But you need to see this. I couldn’t text you the link because, well, yelling at you over text is not the same as yelling at you in real life. So, here. Look.”

She pressed something on her phone and then passed it on to you.

From the looks of it, Hyojin had opened up a tabloid site – with some very bad formatting that warped the text in every second paragraph – but you didn’t get to check what kind of site because your eyes immediately caught Jiho’s name in the headline. And then your name following right after.

“Oh, shit,” you muttered under your breath, reading on.

The article seemed to be a quick recap of the dinner you’d attended with Jiho earlier this week. It was accompanied by some high-quality pictures of the people who were there – and thus, you realized that this wasn’t actually a tabloid site at all, this must have been a blog-like website by one of the dinner guests – but its’ main focus, without a doubt, was the “budding relationship between the most promising young photographer” – Jiho – “and his muse” – you.

“I’m not—this wasn’t supposed to—oh, fuck,” you tossed around helplessly, handing Hyojin her phone back. “How did you even find this?”

“I didn’t. Jacob showed it to me,” she replied, her face executing every sign that she was about to scold you good. “One of his friends from publishing was at that dinner, so he was showing Jacob the pictures and Jake thought he’d recognized you. Turns out, his friend was actually looking forward to meeting you. He’d referred to you as “Jiho’s girlfriend.”

“God, no, it’s not—”

“Yeah, I sure hope it’s not,” Hyojin continued, too fired up to let you finish, “because this implies that you’re still in touch with that asshat and, not just that, but you’re also dating him.”

You momentarily recalled your last conversation with May at Mark’s bar. Evidently, she’d kept quiet about the revelation that your entire future depended on Jiho, so Hyojin was completely in the dark about it all.

“I’m not. I swear, I’m not. I would never! Jaebum—he’s right upstairs, waiting—God, this is messed up,” you brought your hands over your face in an attempt to collect your thoughts so you’d finally form a coherent sentence. “Listen, you can’t tell anyone because I’m not sure if I’m allowed to speak about this – at least not to the press – but—”

“Well, go right ahead,” she urged, “I’m not the press.”

“Yeah, but Jacob is,” you nodded your head towards the car Hyojin had just stepped out of – or, perhaps, sprinted out of would have put it more accurately since she hopped right out, slamming the door shut before you even got a glimpse of her boyfriend.

“He’s not that kind of press,” Hyojin rolled her eyes. “He doesn’t care about some photographer that’s fresh out of the womb. No one does. No offense.”

You didn’t take offense – she was right. As Mark had pointed out in his bar the other day, the only people who cared about photographers were other photographers.

“Right,” you swallowed. “Well, this was Jiho’s idea. He thought I should get some exposure before my exhibition.”

Hyojin frowned. “Why does he get to decide that?”

God, you thought you appreciated May for not telling the rest of your friends about this – she must have thought you should have been the one to do that – but now you wished she had, just like she revealed the truth about who your roommate was. You’d planned to keep Jaebum’s identity a secret but ended up spilling it all to her while wine-drunk and, in turn, May had told the rest of your friends. If she’d done the same thing now, perhaps you wouldn’t have had to face Hyojin’s judgemental eyes.

“Because,” you closed your eyes, “it’s his gallery.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” you groaned, your fingers suddenly very drawn to your scalp and, particularly, ripping your hair out of it. “God, it’s a long story.”

“Honey,” your friend put her hand on your shoulders, a very determined expression on her face, “I’ve got all night.”

Jacob pulled his window down, having overheard her say this. “You really don’t, love. We have a movie to catch in half an hour. Hello, by the way.”

“Hey, Jake,” you gave him an awkward wave which he acknowledged with a nod and then slid his window back up, giving you and Hyojin some privacy – even though he could, clearly, hear everything from inside of the car anyway. “You should go, Jin. I swear nothing’s happening. His gallery reached out to me and offered me… something. It’s not just an exhibition, it’s a whole ton of other stuff, too. It’s a great contract, really. But before I get to lay claim to any of those perks, I have to become more well-known so that my first exhibition isn’t a complete bust. That dinner is a part of a-a PR stunt, you know? Like, we were supposed to appear together as two photographers, having dinner—”

“Is that not what you did?” she asked, interrupting you.

“It is, but—well, they’re calling me his muse,” you replied. “Not his colleague. So, that’s not exactly what was supposed to happen but, I guess, it’s still exposure.”

“Are you going to do something about this, then?” she continued.

“I don’t know what I can—”

“And what does Jaebum think about this wonderful stunt?”

Her questions already made it difficult to catch your breath but this last one seemed to punch you right in the lungs.

“He doesn’t know,” you wheezed out, not raising your eyes from the pavement.

For the second time that night, Hyojin’s jaw opened and froze in that position. “What?”

“N-no, I mean, he knows I’m doing these events for publicity,” you tried to explain, guilt flashing all over your face. “He just doesn’t know—”

“That they’re with Jiho?” she raised her eyebrows in an oddly accusing manner. “Babe, what are you doing?”

“I’m—”

She shook her head, choosing not to listen to another excuse. “You have to tell him.”

“I will!” you said, sounding far too exasperated. You’d already told everyone but Jaebum and the constant promises you made about telling him were starting to weigh down on your consciousness. “He’s just been so happy, getting that contract with an agency, and all. Everything’s going so well, it just doesn’t feel right to piss on his parade. He wanted this for so long.”

That sounded like an excuse and both of you knew it.

“Don’t think you’re doing him a favor by not telling him,” Hyojin reprimanded immediately.

“I know I’m not,” you said. “And I will tell him. Just not right this moment.”

“Well, if he sees the article, it will be too late, won’t it?”

“He won’t see it,” you said and then, after a moment of panic, added a fearful, “will he?”

Hyojin sighed. “Honestly, no, he probably won’t. The only reason Jake even saw that was because of that co-worker who showed it to him. There are probably, like, six people who read that website and I don’t think Jaebum is one of them. I hope that isn’t the kind of publicity Jiho meant.”

“I hope not,” you echoed. “Although it makes sense that no one cares about this. We’re irrelevant.”

“No, he had one thing right – people don’t care about these dinners but they do care about who’s dating whom, even if the people in question aren’t too famous,” she said. “Sex sells—”

Your eyes widened. “Sex?”

“You know what I mean,” she waved your surprise off. “People care about that shit. They want to know who’s sleeping with—”

“It’s just—just a few events,” you cut her off, just the mere mention of anyone assuming you and Jiho were having sex enough to send your stomach into a panicked frenzy. “Any publicity is good publicity, right?”

“Well, Jake would disagree but he’s not trying to become a celebrity. He just writes about them.”

“Right,” you nodded, allowing the looming awkward silence to finally engulf you both.

“Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?” Hyojin asked another uncomfortably long moment later.

“No. I’m not sure about anything,” you replied honestly. “But I want that exhibition and if that’s the only way—”

“You know it’s not,” she disagreed right away. “And, frankly, faking a relationship with someone doesn’t seem worth it.”

You continued to count the tiles on the pavement, feeling – and looking – like a scolded kindergartner. Any other time, you’d have felt like she just didn’t understand your situation. Merely a few days ago, you were convinced you weren’t good enough to find a place to host your exhibition some other way, but now you’d achieved a huge breakthrough with the pictures you’d taken for Jaebum. Now you believed in yourself a little – oh, alright, a lot – more.

“This isn’t long-term,” you decided to say. “It’s just a few weeks tops. That’s two or three more events and I’ve got another one tomorrow night. It’ll all be over before long: I’ll have my exhibition and then I can forget all about Jiho.”

“Hmm,” Hyojin had crossed her arms and was now looking decidedly skeptical. “And, I suppose, you’ll tell Jaebum about this another decade later, yeah? I don’t really understand why you—”

“I’m afraid,” you cut her off. She didn’t seem to understand why you sounded so agitated so, after sighing so deep, your whole chest began to ache, you explained, “I don’t want to lose him. I’ve already fucked up before and it lead to some hefty arguments. But that was before we were together, so they weren’t as significant.”

“When are arguments ever not significant?”

“Fine, they were significant,” you said. “But they never posed a threat to our relationship because there wasn’t one. And now that there is, I’m afraid that if we fight, it will break us up.”

“So, what, you’ll spend the rest of your life walking on your tip-toes, avoiding arguments with him because you’re afraid?” Hyojin asked. The more she talked, the less your words made sense to you. Suddenly, you couldn’t understand why you kept talking at all.

“No,” you said awkwardly. “No, that’s just stupid, I can’t avoid arguments with him for the rest of my life, but it’s so soon. We’ve only been together for, what, a few weeks, a month—”

“When did you move in with him?”

“I-I don’t know, a few months ago,” you blinked, not sure how this question was relevant. “Maybe three, three and a half—”

“Alright, so you’ve been with him for three and a half months, then,” Hyojin concluded.

“No, but we weren’t together before—”

“No,” she declared louder so she could talk over you – just like she seemed to do the whole night tonight. “No, babe. Every argument you’ve had with him since the day you moved in was equally as significant, and yet, not a single one posed any threats to your relationship. Not-a-single-one, you hear me? Because, from what you’ve told me, you and him have gotten pretty intense with each other before and yet, neither of you moved out. Not even when you didn’t think you were going to end up together. You have some real stuff between you, you know what I mean? The kind of stuff that can’t be broken by arguments… but might get irrevocably stained by secrets.”

You didn’t have a response to give her and sighed instead but Hyojin understood everything you couldn’t say just from your breath.

“You don’t want to do this with Jiho, either,” she said gently. “So, don’t put yourself through something you don’t want to do. Do it your way. So what if it takes longer?”

It wasn’t the first time someone had said that to you and it certainly wasn’t the first time that you considered the weight of these words. They were heavy but that was the case with the truth – it weighed you down until you could barely move.

“We said we were going to do this together,” you whispered under your breath, the engine of Jacob’s car nearly drowning your words out. “So, if I don’t do this, I’ll just have to watch him walk away from me.”

“Walk away from—honey, no,” Hyojin sighed, wrapping her arms around you, her sweet perfume so familiar, you almost started to cry. “He wouldn’t.”

“He wouldn’t have a choice,” you insisted. “That’s how life works sometimes. I don’t want it to. I don’t want him to—I just want us to do this together.”

“And you will,” she promised, pulling away slightly so she could look at you. “But maybe at different speeds. But who the hell cares? You were together before fame and you’ll be together after. You’ll wipe your stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame together and then walk into the sunshine, hand-in-hand. Who cares if you’ll host your exhibition a month, or a year after he releases his album?”

You cared, sniffling as you refused to meet her eyes. “A lot can happen in a year.”

“And a lot will,” she nodded. “But you two had already gone through so much, you might as well go through a little bit more.”

“What if that’s where the breaking point is? What if we don’t have a year—”

“Sweetheart,” she stopped you, suddenly grave serious. “What if I reach down inside of you, grab that paranoia of yours, and strangle it so it no longer bothers you, hmm? That would save us all a lot of time.”

You couldn’t control the snicker that passed your lips and got Hyojin to smile as well.

“Go back,” she told you then. “And don’t forget where you’re going, okay?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean? Where am I going?”

Hyojin smile meaningfully. “You’re going home.”

Hyojin’s last words helped you more than you’d realized at first, and you woke up the next morning with a decision – tonight was going to be the last event you’d attend with Jiho. Once it was over, you would sit him down and tell him that you had to find another way because you simply couldn’t approve of this one. He’d have to agree to let you host your exhibition right now and not “when you were more popular.” You’d tell him about the pictures you’d taken of Jaebum and how much his agency liked them if he refused to listen to you.

And then, if he’d agree, you’d go home, talk to Jaebum, host your exhibition, and live happily ever after. And if he wouldn’t, you’d still go home, talk to Jaebum, and find a way to live out your happily ever after without getting your exhibition.

You hoped for the former but, as you applied your make-up for the night, you braced yourself for the latter. You knew that the chances of Jiho agreeing to just cut straight to your exhibition were slim – you and him were only seen together twice; surely, that wasn’t going to be enough in his eyes – but you trusted your ability to sound convincing. He’d insisted the gallery wanted you for your potential, so, maybe he’d fight harder to hold on to you and agree to your terms, after all.

In the end, whatever happened tonight, this was going to be the last time you were out with Jiho for publicity.

You nearly blacked out when, after leaving a note to let Jaebum know you were off to a photography event, you walked out of your building and saw Jiho step out of a limousine. A sleek black limousine – as if you two were headed to your wedding or something.

“W-what is—” you began but didn’t get to finish before Jiho’s bright laughter cut you off.

“I thought we’d arrive in style! What do you think?” he asked. You thought he was a lunatic. “Attract some more attention, hmm? Come on, get inside – got your camera? Good! – there’s champagne.”

You felt like you’d just skipped through, at least, three chapters of your life when you climbed into his limousine. Who were you, exactly, to have this expensive ride with undoubtedly equally as expensive glass of champagne thrust into your hand as soon as you sat down?

It was impossible to understand what was happening – although, from the laid-back way Jiho was acting, you’d have thought he took the limo to go to work and do his grocery shopping, so this wasn’t weird to him in the slightest – and, what’s more, it was impossible to figure out what would happen next.

As it turned out, what happened next was silence. Jiho was texting someone on his phone, so the only sound in the car was the rapid click-clacking of his fingers against his screen and the ever-so-often sip of champagne. You, on the other hand, refused to drink and remained completely quiet and overly alert the entire ride. When thrust into a situation you’ve never experienced before, it was probably best to stay sober and aware of your surroundings.

Once the limousine stopped – tossing your heart from your chest to your heels – about fifty minutes later, Jiho finally put his phone away and turned to look at you.

“Here’s the plan,” he declared in a way that made it seem as though you two were about to rob a bank Bonnie-and-Clyde style. “I didn’t tell you to bring your camera just so people would know you’re a photographer. That will come up anyway. I asked—”

“Will it?” you cut him off reflexively.

“What?”

“Will it come up?” you repeated, deliberately this time. You had decided to tell him you didn’t want to do this – even though he had to know that himself already – and you were going to stick with that decision. “Because, judging from the article written about us after the dinner, I’m not actually a photographer at all. I’m just a girl on your arm.”

Jiho, for some reason, hadn’t expected you to have read the article. Once the initial surprise wore off, however, he looked pleased that you’ve seen it and was almost inclined to ask who’d shown it to you. Clearly, you had your own sources and he was all the more curious to know who they were.

“Right, but that’s where it starts,” he insisted. “Slowly, more and more people will stop focusing on the fact that we’re together and, instead, will start to focus on us as individuals. I mean, come on, there are only so many speculations that can be made about the relationship of two people. Sooner or later, people are bound to get bored.”

“If they’re bored, they’ll ignore me and focus on you,” you said, “and I will still be the girl—”

“Quit thinking I’ll be quiet through it all,” he cut you off, showing you, for the first time since you’ve met him, that he also had the ability to get annoyed. “I’m doing this for you—for the gallery. Obviously, I will do everything in my power to make it clear that we are both photographers. Hence your camera here, tonight. I want you to capture this event from your own point of view. I will use one of your pictures in my review of tonight’s exhibition – with proper credit, of course – and that’s how everything will kick off.”

You bit your lip, looking down. If he’d told you of this plan earlier, perhaps you’d have felt less revolted riding this limousine with him. Still, though – was the expensive car so necessary?

“Fine,” you said, choosing to leave the conversation about how you wanted to finish doing these events until after the night was over. You were sort of an expert at postponing potentially complicated conversations. “Let’s just get this over and done with.”

Jiho smiled in response – the smile, that was most likely fake, looked so real that you started to wonder if he’d been faking this nice exterior the whole night tonight – and, opening the door of the limo with one hand, extended his other one to you.

“What do you want me to—”

Not waiting for you to start questioning his motives again, he took your hand against your wishes, and helped you get out of the car. There were three people taking pictures of the guests arriving at the exhibition and all three of them suddenly had their cameras on you and Jiho, eager to capture you two stepping out of the car, hand-in-hand. It was almost blinding and most surreal.

“Good to see you, Jiho!” one of the photographers hollered, his flash going off every two seconds. You were sure you had your eyes closed in every single picture he took. “Is that the missus?”

You cringed – but hoped it wasn’t too noticeable – and tried to pull your hand out of Jiho’s grip now that you were out of the car, but he didn’t let you.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Jiho replied sneakily, shooting a wink in the direction of the camera. “I’m here to have a grand night, admiring the artwork of a dear friend with a dear friend.”

“Is she just a friend, then?” another one asked. You felt yourself clutch the camera in your hands tighter in hopes of drawing more attention to it. “A close friend, perhaps?”

“She’s all of that and a lot more,” Jiho replied and you felt a cold wave wash over your entire body at his words. “And she’s one of the most talented young acts I know. Careful, boys, her pictures tonight might just overshadow yours.”

“We’re looking forward to it, Jiho!” the photographer said as Jiho lead you inside. Your feet were nearly frozen solid. “Have a great night!”

“You, too!” Jiho wished with a gentle wave of his hand and the two of you finally escaped the cameras by entering the building.

As soon as the photographers were behind you, you pulled your hand out of Jiho’s a little more forcibly than you’d intended and gave him a horrified look.

“What the hell are you saying to them?!” you demanded, not even trying to keep your voice down. “You told me you’d leave our relationship up for speculation and then you went ahead and—”

“And what?” he snapped, your sudden outrage frustrating him much more than your persistent doubts in the limo did. “What was it that I said to them that wasn’t precisely that? I’m planting the seeds of doubt—”

“You’re planting rumors!” you disagreed vehemently. “Do you really think they’ll care about my photographs now that you’d made it seem as if we’re together? As if we’re in love?”

“Of course, they will—”

“They couldn’t care less about that shit!” you continued, noticing how each swear word out of your lips made Jiho cringe and look around to see if anyone heard. “All that their cameras focused on was you holding my hand. I’m nothing to them—”

Jiho cut you off by taking a threatening step towards you, his face dangerously close to yours as he whisper-yelled through clenched teeth, “how do you expected to be something when you haven’t done anything? Popularity is earned. I’m earning it for you so show more gratitude and stop making a fucking scene.”

He stepped away a second later and, if you hadn’t been there, listening to him curse and put you down, you probably wouldn’t have believed it. Jiho was a fantastic actor, truly – the way he kept his composure around you all of this time was admirable. But there had to be a reason why you were so adamant to get away from him at all times; clearly, it wasn’t just because you’d misunderstood his intentions the first time you met him. It was also because somewhere deep in your subconscious, you figured he was just playing a role of Jiho, the sweet and eager-to-help photographer, while his real personality was buried deep underneath.

Well, you’d caught glimpses of his real face just now and, when he told you to straighten up and proceeded to wrap one hand around your waist to enter the exhibition hall, smiling as if you hadn’t just argued, you knew that the decision to drop everything, cancel the contract, and find another way to get your name out there was the right one.

“Jiho, I—”

“Shh,” he hushed sharply. “I need you to stay quiet right now. I’m looking for the host, I’m going to introduce you and then off you go, taking your pictures. Got it? I’m not in the mood to talk to you right now.”

“Me neither. I was just—”

His grip on your waist tightened. “What did I just tell you?”

His voice sounded like it came straight from hell and yet, instead of feeling intimidated, you felt incredibly relieved. You weren’t wrong, Jiho may have just been the devil incarnate with some very well-trained – albeit pretend – manners.

You stayed quiet, allowing him to search for the host of the night because you figured that if you had to end the night without a contract – you didn’t think it was possible that Jiho would agree to cut short to your exhibition instead of just dropping you right away – then it’d be great if you would get to meet a few more influential people beforehand. They probably weren’t going to help you out, knowing their relationship with Jiho, but it wouldn’t hurt to have them learn your name.

As soon as you shook the hand of the photographer whose pictures hung on the walls of the hall around you – your face hurt from all the fake smiles already, even though you’d only been here for less than twenty minutes – something happened that made you regret leaving your house tonight even more. You should have bolted in the opposite direction as soon as you saw the limousine approach, really.

“Hello,” an awfully familiar voice sounded next to you. You thought you experienced what falling from the twentieth story of a skyscraper must have felt like when you turned around to meet Jackson’s eyes. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Oh. H-hey,” you choked out, painfully aware of Jiho’s hand still on your waist. “I’m here with—”

“Hello,” Jiho turned around as soon as the host of the exhibition walked away. You may have feared Jaebum meeting Jiho but you couldn’t even begin to imagine what was going to happen when one of Jaebum’s best friends met him instead. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m—”

“Could you excuse us for a moment?” Jackson asked, his hand coming to rest on your waist instead.

Taking advantage of Jiho’s confused features, Jackson pulled you away from him and – before you could protest – walked you to the closest bathroom he could find, closing the door behind you.

“I’m sorry for cutting it straight to the chase,” he spoke as calmly as he could given the situation, “but, shit, who the hell is that?”

“T-that’s Jiho. He’s—”

“A scumbag that’s about to get his ass kicked, I hope?” Jackson finished for you. “What are you doing here with him?”

“I’m—God, it’s a long story,” you said, the exhaustion you’ve felt since you signed the contract showing in your voice. “I’ve signed a deal with his gallery, so I have to—”

“Does Jaebum know you’re here?”

“Jackson—”

“Because, I swear to God, I have no idea what you’re doing but I—”

“Jackson!” you said louder, suddenly afraid of the fire behind his eyes. He looked frantic. He looked like he was going to knock Jiho out right after he left the bathroom and his hand was already reaching for the door handle. “Please listen, I’m just—I came to the exhibition. I’ve signed a contract with a gallery Jiho represents and I need some exposure—”

“Some exposure?” he frowned, the look on his face depicting every frustration you were feeling inside. You were afraid to look him in the eyes. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means I can’t host my exhibition while no one knows who I am,” you answered. “I need to—”

“That’s bullshit!” Jackson snapped. “How are you supposed to get exposure without hosting any exhibitions? Did he convince you this was a good idea?”

“No, I don’t think this is a good idea, I—”

Jackson threw his hands in the air, startling you. “Well, then what the fuck are you doing here?!”

“I’m trying to get my name out there!” you replied in agitation. Jackon’s accusing tone and the questions he was firing at you confirmed that your raised voices in this bathroom were going to be nothing in comparison to the storm this would cause with Jaebum. “Fuck! I’m just—I’m trying to get some publicity. That was part of the contract.”

Jackson scoffed. “That guy has you pressed against his side like you’re his trophy wife. I don’t know what kind of publicity you’re seeking but I can assure you, this isn’t it. Jaebum—fuck, is he on board with this?”

You almost flinched when he mentioned Jaebum again.

“Of course he’s not—actually, uh, he doesn’t know the—”

“He doesn’t know?!”

To say that Jackson was appalled would have been an understatement.

“He doesn’t know the details!” you tried to explain, feeling yourself tear up but desperately trying to remain calm – or, well, as calm as you could with Jackson looking at you like you’d just killed your way through the West Coast. “He knows I have to attend these events for a little while, he just—I didn’t tell him about Jiho. The three of us go way back, he hates the guy.”

“Oh,” Jackson said in an uncharacteristically high-pitched voice. It was scary to hear his deep, somber tone take such a sarcastic chirp turn. “So, that makes all of this better!”

“It doesn’t,” you tried. “And I’ll tell him—”

“Like hell, you will.”

“W-what?”

“If you hadn’t told him yet, clearly, you’re not that eager to tell him at all,” he stated.

“No, I want him to know,” you insisted but you weren’t sure if you meant it. Hearing Jackson voice your real intentions was the ultimate turning point and every single ounce of guilt came pouring out of your eyes in tears. You really didn’t want Jaebum to know. “I-I just don’t want to fight with him about this—”

“Then maybe don’t do this!” Jackson continued, still as loud as before but gentler now that you started to cry, “if you’re doing something that’s going to start a fight with your boyfriend when he finds out, then you’re probably stepping out of line in a major way, don’t you think?” he paused as soon as he realized how riled up he was. He brought his hands through his hair to calm himself down. “God, I’m sorry, I can’t—I seriously have a hard time understanding this. W-why did you think this was a good idea? How the hell did you think faking a relationship with someone was going to go under your own boyfriend’s radar?”

You sniffled, trying to focus on your breathing so you wouldn’t sob out loud, “I’m not faking a relationship—”

“Oh, okay, well, don’t worry about that – that guy out there is doing it for you,” Jackson countered.

“No, I—this,” you felt yourself hiccup, “it w-wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“Fuck, what was it supposed to be like?” Jackson asked. “Because last time I was on the phone with Jaebum, he was in my studio, writing a fucking song about you. I definitely didn’t think I’d hang up the phone, turn around, and see his girl walk right past me with another guy.”

You barely had enough time to process what he had just said when a knock came on the bathroom door.

“Is everything alright?” Jiho’s voice called out. “I hate to bother you but we should probably get back out here. We’re here for your benefit, after all.”

“In a moment!” you replied through a stuffed nose. Jackson sighed, his hands on his hips and his eyes focused on the floor. The fact that he couldn’t even look at you felt like a whole new stab of pain. “Look, this is the last event I’m doing. I’m ending it tonight. If they won’t let me host an exhibition, I’ll find another solution. I won’t do this anymore.”

You wiped the tears from your cheeks and tried to steady your breathing.

“How many events like this have you done already?” Jackson asked another moment later. He may have been angry with you but he hated to have been the reason why you started to cry.

“Just a few, it hasn’t been that long—”

“And how long were you planning on doing this for?”

“N-not long,” you said, your breath hitching again. You exhaled slowly before finishing, “ideally, I want to end this tonight.”

“But you’ll still work with him – with a guy who’s obviously very interested in making the public think he’s dating you – and Jaebum will still not know about it, is that what you’re planning?” Jackson continued, watching your eyes fill with tears again but not being able to stop himself. He’d have put his life on the line for his best friend and it was starting to feel like that was exactly what he was doing right now because he knew he was going to wish he was dead as soon as this blew over. The sight of you crying because of the things he’d said was too awful to bear. “Jaebum will come to your exhibition, not having the slightest clue that there’s a guy who’s—”

“I’ll tell him!” you shouted desperately, pain spilling from your eyes without the slightest intention of stopping. “God, I will! I’ll tell him everything.”

“Will you? Will you, really? Because he’s my best friend. I can’t just stand here after I learned about the shit that he doesn’t know but should know. Fuck. I think you’re great, I really do. And, God knows, I’m so sorry I’ve made you cry tonight,” he added and then, even despite all that he’d just said, stepped closer to provide you with some comfort by carefully wrapping his arms around you, “I think the two of you are perfect for each other but, fuck…” he sighed after hearing you sob against his shoulder, “you know his heart better than I do, but even I can tell that you’re walking dangerously close to breaking it.”

“I wouldn’t,” you whispered, pulling away from him to look him in the eyes. “I couldn’t. I would never, I-I—”

“I know you probably don’t mean it,” he said softly, releasing you. “But he’s going to hate the fact that you’re keeping this a secret.”

“I know he is,” you nodded, stepping away from him and sniffling before slowly bringing your index fingers under your eyelids. Your make-up was most definitely destroyed but that was the least of your worries right now. “That’s w-why, the longer I stay quiet, the harder it gets to find a way to tell him.”

He sighed again. “You know someone has to.”

“J-Jackson, I—”

“Just go, okay?” he asked, turning away from you and resting his hands on the sink, his head hanging low. It was you who felt beyond ashamed and yet he looked like he was the one making the biggest mistake of his life. “That guy’s waiting for you out there.”

“Please, I’ll tell Jaebum about this, I just—”

“Go,” Jackson repeated. “Please.”

You reached the door but turned around as soon as the last tears slid down your cheeks. You waited for him to turn around to look at you but he wouldn’t.

“I don’t want to hurt him,” you said slowly, the ball in your throat from the tears and the pain and the guilt suffocating you. “I love him.”

Jackson whipped his head to face you. “Does he know?”

Looking down again, you didn’t even dare to shake your head – and you didn’t have to, Jackson knew the answer already. This was another thing you’d never gathered the courage to tell to Jaebum.

Jackson looked away again and, after another torturous moment, you dared to exit the bathroom, closing the door behind you and feeling yourself tear up yet again as soon as you saw Jiho’s polished shoes.

“What was that about?” he asked you right away.

“Jiho,” you said sternly, your vision clouded with tears. You thought you saw him take a small step back in shock once he saw your puffy red eyes. “I won’t do this anymore. I need an answer right now – can I host my exhibition at your gallery or not? Because if not, I’m ending the contract right this moment.”

“Well, of course, you can,” Jiho replied, surprised. His fake face was back on and you wished nothing more than to claw it off. “You just need a little bit more exposure and—”

“No,” you shook your head. “I don’t like this. I didn’t like the article written about us, I didn’t like what you told those photographers out there, and I don’t like the fact that we’re, essentially, pretending to be in a relationship. I’m not—I don’t want to do that. Either, I host the exhibition now or I’m leaving.”

“Well—that’s—where is all this coming from? I thought we’d reached an agreement. You’re so close to—”

“The only thing I’m close to is ruining the only thing that makes sense in my life,” you were the one who kept cutting him off this time. It was nice to have the upper hand for a change even if you had a feeling it would backfire. “So, tell me right now: will I have the exhibition at your gallery or not?”

“I-I can’t give you an answer immediately,” he replied. “I need to check in with the gallery and we need some time to consider this.”

“Okay. Consider it, then,” you said, exhaling shakily as you turned around towards the front door of the hall. “And give me an answer as soon as possible.”

“Wh—right, but where are you going?”

You didn’t stop as you answered curtly, “I’m going home.”

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jae-daddy · 6 years

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Chubby (6)

Jaebum AU Series

one / two / three / four / five / seven / eight

pairing: im jaebum x reader genre: drama, romance, angst plot: you are getting bullied and Jaebum decides to help you. a/n: the first story i ever started on this blog, and i think my most fav too. I love this chap even though I want extra on the writing, but i hope y’all like it!

Life is unpredictable, considering how predictable it truly is. Everything follows a pattern of repetition, one thing follows after another, time and time again. It gets boring, tiring and everyone just simply starts to live; no one is alive anymore. Everyone is stuck in a constant cycle of every day; looking back you can’t even differentiate last Wednesday with Thursday. It all becomes a bleak sheet of faded caramel, ageing with us and our dying memories.

But sometimes, life gives you a curve ball one in a few mundane moments; to really spice up things.

A few weeks ago, you were lying on your bed staring at the empty ceiling and wishing for someone else’s company. At that point, you would have anyone, but deep inside you, you wanted Jaebum next to you.

You wanted his presence in the same room as you, both existing happily, together. You wanted to watch a movie with him, snuggled up beside him as you both drank hot chocolate on a cold winters night. You wanted to hear his breathing lull you to sleep, and wake up next to his warmth.

It all seemed like nothing, but to a girl who felt nothing but loneliness, guilt and sadness, your affection for Jaebum seemed to be the only thing that kept your heart beating.

If you stumbled into a psychic who told you, you’d be in Jaebum’s kitchen cooking him soft tofu stew, you would have nodded, and then walked away with the hope that it becomes true. Even though you are supposed to laugh at the impossible possibility of it happening, you would’ve walked away with a glimmer of hope, wishing for it to be true.

However, you didn’t stumble across a psychic and no one told you that you’d be standing in Jaebum’s apartment. You would have never guessed you’d be standing in his black slippers, standing over the stove watching the warm spicy soup bubbling.

Behind you, you could hear Jaebum chasing after Tuesday who was running away from him.

“Yah, Tee!” Jaebum grumbled, adorably, as he chased after him around the sofa, his arms in front of him. “You’re a cat, be lazy and judgemental and let me love you.”

You turned around to find Tuesday finally in Jaebum’s arms. He snuggled closer to his chest, as Jaebum gently rubbed his grey ears. Tuesday purred in Jaebum’s arm in complete bliss, making Jaebum smile with so much warmth that you couldn’t look away.

“See, buddy,” he softly murmured to Tuesday, as he looked at him adoringly. “Letting me love you isn’t bad, I’m a good dad.”

You stared at the dark haired boy, as your heart leapt in your chest.

This was Im Jaebum, the same bad boy that girls drooled over and guys fussed over. The entire school knew him as a cold-hearted, hot-headed guy who did as he pleased. He didn’t care about what other’s thought of him. Maybe because he didn’t have any friends, you wondered.

But his missing list of friends could easily be replaced with his list of ex-girlfriends. There weren’t many, but it was enough to show anyone that Im Jaebum never fell in love. He went out with girls for less than a month, and yet still managed to leave them heartbroken. Some of them continued to flock around him, hoping for a second a chance.

You had wished a million times that you were one of them; you knew given the chance you could make him love you. Despite, the fact that that's what all of those girls believed too, you somehow felt as if you were destined to be together. You had felt it the first the day he walked into class in the middle of the third period. All the girls were gushing over him, and the boys sat up straighter, you, you couldn’t breathe.

You felt completely taken by him, as superficial as it sounds you at first liked him for his looks. He was undeniably the most attractive guy you had ever laid your eyes on. Everything about him enticed you, as silly as it sounds Jaebum was the reason you were alive.

There were many times you thought of ending this and getting out of this cycle of guilt, but then Jaebum’s eyes would land on you. Even for the split-second that his beautiful brown eyes met yours, you felt the guilt lessen, and will to live another day.

Your heart warmed to a soft glowing yellow, humming like the early morning sunshine of a winter inside your chest.

Jaebum was magical, beautiful and everything you believed to be a fantom of the world. Every doubt of happiness and beauty cleared away the moment you looked at Jaebum.

His dark hair falling over his forehead, brushing slightly beneath his eyebrows, making him continuously sway his head to the side to brush it away. His eyes that warmed the darkest parts of your heart with the faintest streaks of golden amber that lived in them. His lips that curled into the softest smiles, taking your breath away. His voice like melted honey getting your drunk of its sweetest; everything about Jaebum left you slightly hazy and intoxicated.

As he stood there his long rigidity fingertips gently brushing Tuesday’s grey fur, you couldn’t help but sigh at his beauty.

Im Jaebum was perfect.

He was breathtaking and beautiful and made you cry in the middle of the night cause he could never be yours.

Jaebum smiled brighter, his pouting lips turning into a grin as he felt Tuesday’s weight in his arms. He was happy as the cat who barely showed any love and attention to its owner, snuggled to him, letting Jaebum pamper him.

Jaebum’s eyes crinkled at the corners, almost disappearing when they looked up to meet yours. You stared him, wondrously, how can a man like him exist?

Moreover, how can people think of this adorable little muffin as a sex god and bad boy, when he was truly just a fluffy cloud of marshmallow. How had you ever found his warm brown eyes intimidating when they were so light, playful and full of joy?

You hadn’t realised you were blatantly staring at Jaebum until his happy grin faded into a confused twist. His eyes staring back intrigued by why you were looking at him like that.

Your cheeks flushed pink when he caught your eyes. The flame burned brighter when his pink lips dissolved into a playful smirk.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked, his voice gentle enough not to scare Tuesday, but still humoured and demanding.

Your eyes widened, as you stumbled over your words trying to find a reason that made you seem less of a crazy fangirl than you truly were. How do you tell him you were so awestruck by his beauty that you couldn’t look away?

How do you tell him that every time you saw him, you saw a happily ever after and a horrible reminder of your heartbreaking at once?

How do you explain to him, that all of this seems fake? His kindness, care towards you seemed like a game to you, because you felt, no, you knew, that you weren’t deserving of such treatment?

How does one say that without sounding completely insane?

So, instead, you said the only thing a sane human would say.

“Huh?”

Jaebum looked at you expectantly, before letting out a little chuckle. Tuesday turned in his arms to stare at the angelic face of Jaebum laughing. However, unlike you, Tuesday glared at his owner’s happiness before grudgingly hopping of his arms.

Jaebum seemed unfazed by Tuesday, walking towards you instead with a lingering smile that made your heart swell.

“Were you doing that thing where you’re not really looking at the person and thinking about something else, but your eyes are just staring into I happen to occupy?” He asked, standing in front of you.

Your eyes skitted around the surroundings, trying to find an escape, before you said, “Yes, precisely that.”

Jaebum seemed to find that adorable, or cute, or just simply pitiful because he brushed the top of your head. It seemed like his habit, to ruffle your hair whenever you did something that was otherwise considered slightly socially awkward.

“How’s the food coming along?” Jaebum asked, looking over your shoulder expectantly. “I don’t want to have ramen after waiting so long.”

You turned towards the stove, not before throwing an excited grin towards Jaebum.

“It should be done by now,” you lifted the lid, hiding the pot with your body as Jaebum attempted to steal a glance. “Can you please set the table?”

Jaebum nodded, his lips set in a tight line to hide all emotion. However, as his body happily hopped with every step, you could tell how excited Jaebum was about eating your food.

“How long have you been eating ramen for?” You asked as you added the spring onions.

“All my life,” Jaebum chuckled, making you roll your eyes.

“I mean, how long have you started living off them?”

“Since two years ago,” Jaebum answered his words light, but a heaviness in his voice. You tried to ignore it, the sadness in his voice, instead you concentrated on the time stamp, and shivered with guilt.

You shook your head and planted a weak smile as you lifted the pot and walked towards Jaebum. You sat the pot on the wooden coffee-table that doubled up as a dinner table.

“That can’t possibly be healthy,” you murmured, as you settled in front him.

Jaebum sat a bowl of rice in front of you, making you look up at him in surprise.

“And so isn’t skipping meals,” he told you with a stern look. You smiled to hide the panic of getting caught, and the choking warmth that spread in your chest at the fact that he noticed and acted so kindly. “Eat with me, y/n. I’m tired of eating alone.”

You removed your eyes from Jaebum’s sad and pleading ones, settling your gaze on the dark deep groves of the table instead.

You nodded, timidly, before settling on your knees, and lifting the lid, making Jaebum gasp.

“Wow,” he said in awe, as he peered at you for a second, before eyeing the dish hungrily. “I could smell it, but it looks like its going to be delicious.”

“Try it,” you told him, meekly. Jaebum didn’t hesitate, as he lifted his spoon and brought it to his lips.

His eyes widened as he looked at the dish in wonder, before taking another mouthful.

“This is,” Jaebum choked, as his nose turned red. He looked down shaking his head, before looking at the ceiling. Finally, his eyes met yours and your breath caught got in your throat when you saw the tinge of red in his eyes.

He was about to cry after tasting your food.

“This is delicious, y/n,” Jaebum said, before digging in. A tear fell down his cheek before another did. He stuffed his mouth with the food to drown his sob. “It tastes so good.”

“Have some more,” you pushed the dish towards him, before beginning to eat yourself. You both didn’t talk through the rest of the dinner.

The comfortable silence was filled with slurping and irregular but frequent sniffs of Jaebum. It was nice, even though one of yous was crying, it was nice.

It felt good to finally eat with someone, but you bit your tears back. You didn’t cry because it was Jaebum’s turn to shine.

Jaebum handed you the last bowl, as you dried it and placed it on the drying rack.

The two of you hadn’t talked much since the start of dinner; only a few words to sort out the cleaning out duty. Thinking of it, you both didn’t really talk much, it was always just words, and sudden confessions. You both never had a normal conversation, whatever that was.

You were both, people of a few words, and yet you both seemed completely comfortable, and understanding of one another. You liked it, like this; you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You felt Tuesday come beside you and rub himself against your leg.

You chuckled drying your hand, before bending down to pet him.

“It’s unfair how he’s always so loving to you, but I have to beg for it,” Jaebum frowned pouting, as he dried his hands, before bending down beside you.

You smiled, feeling your cheeks get warmer at Jaebum’s words and presence next to you.

His hands ran over Tuesday, and you followed his large hands. You noticed the rings on his fingers, and the cleanliness of his nails, even though it looked a bit bitten. You took in the slight crookedness of his fingers and how thick and long they were.

Out of nowhere, a thought hit you, those fingers would feel so good inside you.

Your cheeks flamed brighter, as your hands twitched slightly, scaring Tuesday, causing him to run away. You lost your balance and reached for something to hold you steady.

Your fingers gripped the front of Jaebum’s shirt, as his hands automatically settled behind your head to cushion your fall. Jaebum’s weight falls on top of you, as you both groaned in slight complaint.

“Are you okay?” Jaebum asked, his face so close to you, you could really see that his eyes truly did hold those streaks of flaming amber, you had always thought they did.

Tuesday let out a scowl from somewhere in the apartment, making you snap out of your little trance.

You cleared your throat, nodding, as your eyes looked everywhere but at Jaebum, as his heated gaze remained on your face.

“I’m okay,” you said, as you flattened your fisted hands on his front, letting him know you were ready to get up.

Jaebum cleared his throat, getting up as he offered you a hand. You decided against it, not wanting his touch on you, especially when you were feeling so... sensitive.

“I think I should go now,” you said, looking for a clock. You finally found one, causing your eyes to widen in surprise. “I think I should really go. It’s ten, I have clearly overstayed.”

Jaebum let out something inaudible behind you, as you frantically grabbed for things.

“I’ll walk you home,” Jaebum told you, putting on his shoes, as you tied your laces.

“I don’t live far,” you told him, but he thought you were understating.

However, once you walked down a level of the building, and turned to the fourth door, putting in the passcode the look on Jaebum’s face was hilarious.

“You weren’t shitting when you said you didn’t live far,” he nodded, gulping, his hands in his pockets.

You shrugged before giving him a plain smile.

“I live directly beneath you,” you added, your breath puffing out white in front of you in the winter night.

“You should go now, it’s cold tonight.” Jaebum nodded, before slowly closing the door for you, waiting for the final ring of the closing to sound.

You opened the door, just as he was about to turn the corner, and shot your head out.

“Text me when you get home,” you told him, before quickly closing the door.

Jaebum waited for the faint ring once again before walking off.

I’m home.

Your phone buzzed after a minute making you relax.

You showered and settled into bed, before letting out a sigh as you reflected on the day. It was a long, tiring day; like a rollercoaster, unpredictable. But just like every ride, after it finishes, you think back to it with a racing heart and happiness.

It amazed you how much the day had changed simply because Im Jaebum was there.

You sighed before staring at your plain ceiling. You closed your eyes, trying to sleep when your phone buzzed by your head.

Thank you for the food. it was the best I’ve had in a long time.

Good night, y/n. Sweet dreams.

You bit your lip, as the familiar warmth spread through your chest.

You too, Jaebum. Good night.

You replied after ten minutes of pondering.

not edited

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noctispostmortem-blog · 6 years

Text

PSA

I did one of these on my old blog and I’m bringing it back but revamping it a bit. This is to all my mutuals! Mainly this is what is in my rules but I thought I’d post it as well as a reminder and to clarify certain things. This did get pretty long so I placed it under the cut. Any questions, feel free to send me an ask.

First of all, if I follow you I want to RP with you.

If you want to drop something, whether it be a thread, a ship, an interaction, anything all, that’s perfectly fine no matter the reasoning. You’re not feeling that thread anymore? Alright, let’s do something else. You’re not feeling this ship anymore? Sure, I’m alright with that! These two muses just aren’t working out in their interaction? Got it! Let’s try something else! I’m perfectly fine with all of it!

My inbox is always open. Send that meme. Say hello. Ask any question that you have! Seriously, I won’t mind!

If I post a starter call, inbox call, or plotting call, do not be afraid to like it if that is what you want to do. Same thing for if I post an open RP’s for my muses, just jump right in if you want.

I love AU’s, I truly do. And they can vary from small little changes to the normal verse to my characters becoming something completely different. Either way, I’m up for it so come at me if you have an idea.

I’m a little shit when it comes to replies, seriously I am. Sometimes I can spew out reply after reply within minutes of each other, and sometimes I will go days without a single one. It’s called life. Sometimes I’m not feeling good, or my mood is too sour. Maybe I’m struggling to come up with a reply I find suitable and really want to take my time and make sure it’s right. Maybe my muse isn’t cooperating with me. There are so many reasons, it’s ridiculous and if you’re worried that I no longer want to reply, just ask. I won’t bite, I promise.

I do not mind having multiple threads with the same mun. Whether that be your muses RP’s with several of mine, several of mine RP with multiple of yours or even if you have more than one blog but want to RP with me on each one. I’m down for that.

I’m a huge lover of shipping. Seriously I am. Ship with me you cowards! But, there does have to be some chemistry between the muses, I have to be able to see that they can go down that path together. If I ship something, that doesn’t mean you have to and if you ship something doesn’t mean I will either. Don’t force anything on me but do tell me if you ship our muses. I probably do too. Plus, there isn’t just romantic ships! Platonic, familial, frienemies, all that good stuff. I love all of that and so much more!

I can do pre-established relationships (not romantically at all though (usually)) but we as muns have to discuss it first to see if the muses can even be on such terms with one another.

I am open to pretty much every kind of plot you can think of. Seriously, I am! So don’t be afraid to approach me on that either if you want a specific genre.

You are allowed to use memes as icebreakers.

You are allowed to turn asks into threads, just please repost it and if you can’t, tell me and I can do it for you.

Let your muse, be your muse. Don’t change them simply to suit the RP. If your muse is a jerk but you feel sorry for mine because they are sweet, don’t make them nicer so that you don’t feel guilty. If your muse is flirty, but mine isn’t having it, oh well. That’s how they are and my muse is more than capable of handling themselves.

I do not care if you take forever on your reply, I really don’t. As I already said, I’m bad with that myself. So don’t stress it, take your time!

You are NOT just a number in my follower count, I promise you that. So, if we’re mutuals, even if it takes me forever, eventually I will reach out to you. Most likely with a meme. However, I will say this much, I generally give a limit of three asks to start an interaction. This means I the first two icebreaker memes I send in that aren’t answered will be given the benefit of the doubt by thinking maybe you didn’t get them or the ask didn’t work or maybe the muse wasn’t good. Each one I send will likely contain a different muse and scenario to give you options. But after three asks are sent to try and break the ice between us and none are answered, I will assume you don’t have an interest in rping with me and will soft block because I don’t see a point in us being mutuals if you’re not interested in rping.

There will be times when I drop threads, there will be times that I don’t answer an ask you sent in, and times that I’m really not good at talking to others ooc. This is nothing against you. Generally, I really only don’t answer asks that just won’t work with anyone (rarely, is what I am saying). If I do these, we can always start a new thread, you can always send another ask which I will be more than likely to answer and if I don’t respond via chat or discord, just give me some time. I’m probably simply not up to it yet but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk with you.

Feel free to specify a muse if there really is one you’re interested in, I swear you won’t upset me because you like this particular muse. If anything, that makes it much easier for me. But, if you’re not sure who to use, let me know and I’ll try to help you.

My activity is sporadic like crazy, I ask that you have patience with me on this.

My page is hella disorganized but I’m chipping away at that bit by bit (ignore the fact that I’ve had this particular blog for eight months now and I’m still trying to get it together)

I do not care about that whole thing that’s going around about reblogging from the source, I truly don’t and it’s even in my rules that the likelihood of me actually doing that isn’t high.

I am private. I am selective. And I most certainly am mutuals only. If I haven’t followed you back yet, please do not jump into my IM’s asking about doing things. That will make me either want to block you or not even give your page a chance. If I don’t follow you back for whatever reason, it’s nothing against you, really. Could be a great deal many reasons as to why.

I am multiship (for the most part because some muses are selective few ship, it says it in their information if they are) but certain muses have their main verse and then they also have their canon verse which is not the same. If for any reason, you wish to be involved in their canon verse, it would have to be thoroughly discussed between us and then I’d have to discuss it with another mun who is involved with the canon verse muses.

I have a very broad range of muses from the most innocent and sweets ones to the worst of the worst. They also range from completely normal humans to vampires, lycanthropes and much much more. But having muses like this means there will likely be a lot of triggering content. I will try to tag it but if I’m being honest, I suck at it.

Will contain NSFW content as well (though certain parts of that NSFW I’m very picky about). Smut is something that will likely take place on here eventually, though not very often. I just generally prefer to do morning afters and all that good stuff.

I do crack/shit post, I do a have quite a bit of ooc posts, I do dash commentary at times too.

If you send your male muse at me, it will likely be responded with by a female muse. This is NOT for shipping purposes. This is because I’ve had a bad experience before where even though my muse was a heterosexual male and the one he was threading with was considered bisexual, they began to try and force a ship between them. Not only was the muse itself being extremely pushy but the mun was as well ooc. This also doesn’t mean that I won’t do it at all, if I know the mun isn’t like that or something along those lines then I will be okay with actually doing it.

You can bet your ass I play favorites. This means that there are certain threads I’m likely to respond to first, there are certain asks I will do quicker than others. Usually, this is because me and the other mun have that solid connection ooc and that the muses just really go well together. But don’t let that discourage you, please. That doesn’t mean I won’t rp with you, that doesn’t mean I’ll ignore you and that certainly doesn’t mean that with time you can’t become one as well.

I use icons, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. Yes, I also edit my text but that doesn’t mean you have to either in order to rp with me.

My biggest peeve is not cutting your posts. I really hate having to scroll so much just to get past one post. If you don’t cut your posts, I won’t follow or if I already do then I will unfollow once it becomes an issue.

When I unfollow, I do it through soft block because, as I’ve said, you are not just a number in my follower count and I think it’s only fair. So, if I unfollow you and didn’t use this method, that means I personally didn’t unfollow you. It must have been a glitch on tumblr or something and you’re welcome to say something to me.

I generally rp at any length but the longer the reply is the longer it takes for me to do it so I usually try to keep it at 2-3 paragraphs.

I do currently have 39 muses and more are going to come. That’s just how I am. The world in which my muses are in has a lot of possibilities and connections that I like to explore and develop more and as I do, muses come out and sometimes it will be just one and others it can be multiple. Really depends but if you don’t like blogs with too many muses that I wouldn’t follow me.

More will be added as I go and this will be reposted throughout my time here. Thank you for your patience and taking the time to read this! I truly do appreciate it!

#|| Speak Your Mind Even If Your Voice Shakes // PSA ||

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