#into my throat while im sleeping | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hellafluff · 8 months

Text

Currently obsessively thinking about a silent hill from Mary's perspective. Starting in the hospital, the nurses replaced with doctors, faces blacked out except for white shiny gnashing teeth. She only has in her pockets a note written on hotel stationary that says I'm Sorry.

Escaping and meeting a young man, cute and a lil awkward, who says you look a lot like his girlfriend Maria, and shes missing too? Can we look for her together?

Hes... sweet, a bit quiet. He gets very close to Mary often, pushes her boundaries, but this is all weird and strange and maybe hes just scared. When she mentions it, however, he makes a rude remark abt Just Wanting To Help Her but backs off.

They get seperated when the Red Pyramid Thing, unchanged in this version, comes and attacks them both, but chooses to persue him.

Laura is still there, and when Mary and her meet they cling together. She talks about an awful, ugly man she met earlier, and to watch out for him. She helps guide Mary through a maze like area before the Other World sets in and separates them.

The monsters in Mary's Silent Hill are almost all larger then her, and many masculine in appearance. They attack her head, try and choke her. Certain ones cough and gasp, arms thrashing wildly and thrashing on the floor when knocked down. Some seems to have exposed, black lungs that stutter to breathe. If Angela and Eddie are the same in this version, then their boss fights remain the same. The Abstract Daddy just as horrifying to Mary as it is to Angela.

Every reunion with the man, hes different. Less nice, more haunted looking. He starts to call her Maria, and barely acknowledges her if she corrects him. Following his advice leads to darker and more dangerous areas. The Red Pyramid keeps coming and chasing him away, but shes always collateral damage when that happens.

Eventually, she makes it to the hotel. Hes waiting for her in the hotel room, haggard, almost unrecognizable from the man he was when they first met. He has a monologue about how she's been sick, and hes been trying his best to be there for her. She doesnt understand, she doesnt know him, shes NOT Maria! She never will be. She starts coughing.

He makes to leave but at the last second turns, and hes a monster now. Large, fleshy, imposing, always trying to suffocate her under thick hands. Upon his defeat, two Red Pyramids arrive and stab at the dying thing over and over until finally impaling themselves.

There are different endings still. She remembers her disease, and her murder, in most of them. In the best ending she leaves the town with Laura, likely still ill, but alive again. In one of the worst, she wakes up in the trunk of a car, as water begins seeping in.

#silent hill #silent hill 2 #i have a few other ideas for this but wasnt sure how to work them into the prosey wording this took #i think Angela's story goes the same way but instead of James being flustered and kinda unsympathetic #Mary has kind words but no way to help #and their final meeting isnt as hostile as her and james but its still bitter #gameplay wise i also am imagining James Constantly being up on Mary and like pushing her into monsters while trying to atk them himself #instead of always trailing behind #Mary doesnt get her own PH bc hes a punisher and she doesnt need punishing (its why Angela doesnt have one but Eddie does yknow)#but im tempted to say she gets a prefinal boss that is Maria in some way #not like how we know maria but im thinking a mix of the Mannequins and the Flesh Lips enemies #its got the moth/butterfly motif still too #i do have a kinda clear scene in my head #of late in the game leading to this fight Mary has just shaken off James again and hes fully in the Youre Maria :) mental state #and she passes a mirror in a hall and sees herself as Maria. she turns back to look again and Maria smiles before reaching through and #grabs Mary by the throat as she transforms into the boss #crazee talk #i wrote this over the course of an hour and a half directly after waking up today #what was going on my sleep brain #took all day to post it bc i wanted to edit the tags on desktop and i had stuff to do

16 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 4 months

Text

...

#sometimes i find the degree to which i cannot concentrate very alarming #like bro i canno read. i have so much to do but i wanna sleep forever #i just have to get up and go somewhere else. normally id go transfer algae or run but im stuck inside and .y fingers r all cold #usually its just in the morning that I get thr high distress so its prob the meds #but yesterday was kinda fucked. ugh.i just need to run around but i cant #i have such a sinister combo of: brain stops me from being able to b productive and if im not productive i am compelled to do horrible #things. mood issues and 0cd is horrible. horrible feedback loop #i just wish i could breathe. itll b fine. eventually itll b summer again and itll b fine #its like someone's squeezing my throat. like im sick but i kno its just that im anxious #i was doing so well the past few days in terms of reading and productivity despite the distress #and im trying to b kind and roll with the punches but its so hard #like i kno i need to relax and not resist bc resistance makes it worse but it's just hard and im worried this is how itll always b #i wish i could go back on lamicta1. i felt way better on low dose of that then i do on low dose of abi1ify. its so hard to stay on this #just bc of how my head works. and like things were complicated with the lamicta1. maybe i wouldnt habe had a reaction if i didnt get a #tatto0 while upping the dose but now im marked as allergic so i prob wont b allowed to try any of thr anti convulsive type antidepressants #ugh. i hate this. its so frustrating #unrelated

11 notes · View notes

verdantmeadows · 10 months

Text

I have GOT to learn to go to bed by 8/9 pm before The Horrors hit (intense sadness, depression, and suicidalness)

#happens every night without fail #i had to finish putting away clean clothes i had on my bed tho before i could sleep and then i got hungry #so im eating now and literally just looked up happy bossa nova #and wow it's successfully distracting my thoughts????? and feelings?#like i was dancing to it while i waited for my hot dog to heat up. and felt much better #i ❤️ bossa nova #also u know the amount of ketchup you used is amazing when you cant breathe for a moment bc of the acidity #hitting ur throat #um well hm im actually starting to get a bit more hyper rather than all suicidal now #🙂 smile.#also when i write tags like this and posts that are just. diary/journal posts like this #it takes over the course of several minutes #book of kells

10 notes · View notes

saturnniidae · 30 days

Text

Waking up post concert (forgot ear plugs 😭) post post walking around all day post being awake 30hrs sure is A Feeling

#couldnt sleep the day before so i just powered through #my head is pounding #my ears are ringing #i had so much fun tho #but my qhole body hurts #i wore my knee braces all night since i was standing for like 5hrs straight #ouchie.#jhariah posting #ily #jhariah #bros literally a madman for playing while his throat was shot (could only rlly tell for myabe one song)#and touring WHILE recording an album at the same time #im in awe at his ability tbh #jhariah clare #moth.txt

2 notes · View notes

foxgirlinfohazard · 8 months

Text

i wish I didn't have a fucking. Invincible sore throat right now this sucks

#ibuprofen doesnt work and neither does the other one i cant remember the name of #cough drops dont work #hot soup/tea and cold drinks ONLY work while im consuming them but dont have lasting effect #not to mention that most of the juices we have feel like fucking razor blades in my throat #the nasal spray (cause covid) wont work and in fact made things WORSE by causing me to retch amd fuck my throat up more #this sucks and im so fucking tired but i cant fucking sleep cause im in too much pain

2 notes · View notes

izzy-b-hands · 1 year

Text

shout out to ND for making it incredibly hard to get caught up on COVID boosters; I think that may be why this time having COVID is kicking my ass so hard

#text post #i at least have been getting up to go downstairs but today i don't even want that and i hate that #my throat is killing me and there is Zero energy in any limbs and i slept for shit #bc apparently at this stage i should have been sleeping sitting up to help the throat (i am sitting up in bed now aksnfkgn)#butterscotch weed hard candy do ur work and numb my throat a bit pls #it keeps it from hurting as much and my god i have never been more grateful for weed aksndkfng #thank travis for travis but instead it's thank ppl who fought for legalization for it being legalized #i feel so lazy!!! sitting in bed!! gnashing teeth and frustration!!!#there is i think? a woodpecker outside tho and that's so cool #bc the last one i saw and heard was at my great aunt and great grandmothers place while they were both still alive #they claimed to hate the guy but after the fake owl didn't scare him off he just got to Stay aksndkfng #aunt Betty and great granma pls lend me some strength here bc im a Baby TM when sick like this aksndkgngn

5 notes · View notes

pizzapizzadickz · 2 years

Text

#diary #personal #got fucking dammit my throat is sore and i wanna fucking stop this vocal stim cuz it strains my voice.#but i just fucking keep on doing it. ugh. its so just. annoying after a while. ugh.#sometimes i just get into one specific stim a lot and ill do it so much but stop in a while. but sometimes its too much #idk i just wanna chill but it be hard bc i keep fucking squeeking ;-;#first world problems man. the squeak™️#and whats about as bad is i wanna bit on my cheeks and thats also annoying bc i *should* get some gum #BUT I WANNA SETTLE DOWN AND SLEEP FFS #...god i just need something to bite or chew on ffs. and doing it to myself isnt a good idea lmao #seriously this is so annoying. like ive *sorta* burnt out or something so im just super stimmy lately.#AND LIKE AGAINST BETTER JUDGEMENT IVE BEEN WATCHING NEURODIVERGENT TIKTOKS #AND LIKE THIS IS A PROBLEM BC IT MAKES ME STIM MORE FFS #...a while back i was watching sweet anita who has tics and because she has a popping tic it makes my stim MUCH WORSE.#bc i have the same fucking stim as her tic #IM DYING HERE SOMEONE BRING ME WATER UGH #like. i can cover them up and i dont stim in public or whatever. but at home in my room? its free real-estate.#(yes i just pictured that meme) but seriously tho it gets tiring and annoying after a while when youve spent HOURS or DAYS #just fucking stimming. like. i dont mind stiming. but this is too much. send help. what do do when stim too much.#...and i know this is bc i mask a lot and burn out a lot.... i know i did this to myself leave me alone.#UGHHHHHH FUCK.

3 notes · View notes

tenrose · 2 years

Text

The only reason why I need somebody to live with me is so they can hold my cat while I shove medicine down his throat. Because it's too much of a hard work for one person..

#i usually mix pills like dewormer with his biscuits and he sees nothing #but he saw me trying to sneak on him this time and he was clearly down with my bullshit lmao #I mean since im giving him the pipette medicine he's suspicious of everything #since yesterday and the vet he's a little bit mad at me 😢#anyway i had to shove it in his mouth by myself #first time he throws it back at me ffhfhdjdj #second time i nearly lost one finger #i rubbed his throat #but i think i didn't do it exceptionally well cause he spent two minutes chewing and hiding from me #thankfully this one medicine is only till tomorrow #i hope I'll manage to manipulate him to eat it tomorrow or else I'm gonna end up dead #anyway i desperately need someone who love cats #and able to handle one who's refusing to open their mouth for medicine #tbh i didn't end up injured because it's me #anybody else he would go full feral on them #the vet gave him yesterday while he was still sleeping jfjeje

4 notes · View notes

nomaishuttle · 5 months

Text

shots also freak me ouy bc im like ohhh my god what if i get a shiver and the needle breaks and then its judt fuckjng there forever it scares me i hate having things in my arm. That was rhe only downside to my appendectomy was the umm. iv bc i was terrified if i bent my arm itd push the needle in or something very scary

#yes that was truly the only downside like the throwing up was annkying but like. idk its kinda fun. sometimes it is a little bit fun to #throw up like it ISNT butlike. when yr sicj and throwing up it rly sucks andyr miserable and yr throat hurts and you feel gross abd yr #crying and stuff. but then when its been a while aince you last threw up its like..ok i kinda wanna throw up again ykwim #a2t #AGAIN sry #emeto #?#but ya. other than that it was fun i didnt even hurt too much like i got 2 sleep in my Moms bed which was saurrr comfy (jt became my bed #when we moved into the new house 😏 but now its my baby sisters bed -_-). so i just slept 4 like 2 days straight and likee. the only other #annoying thabg was the belly button stuff since it was laprascopic. so my belly button was bloody and hurt and everybody was like Ok you #cannot clean yr belly button bc if u do you could reopen the wound and thats like straight to your whole insides So dont do that.#but ive had this like. irrational preoccupation with keeping my belly button clean ever since i read this one aita like 2-3 years ago that #was like Aita for dumping a guy for not cleaning his belly button n she was like Yeah he said he judt never cleans it and every time i go #down on him i get hit with such a horrific scent im instantly turned off. and then that other thing that was like Scientists found like #5005i585858584 unidentified bacteria inside a belly button. it terrifies me so now i clean it Very vigorously which honestly it hurts a lot #sometimes when i do it bc i like. stick my finger in and my body wash is exfoliating. basically its miserable and i dont even have anybody #going down on me evrr nor will i for the foreseeable future Idk whos 2 say but like. what if the one day i dont clean my belly button is #the one day somebodys like Hey do u want some head. yk...#mdni #<- Rly sry

0 notes

whumpshaped · 10 months

Text

send me a word for a list of incoherent associations?

#im never this sick and i dont know how to cope #im trying to just. pass the time so i get so sleepy that i can actually sleep thru the night #while just being in pain from my throat and head and chest and neck #running a fever for the second day now which ??? i never get actual fevers #so i cant exactly promise drabbles or even coherent lists lol #i can promise delirious ramblings and incoherent associations at best #if i can make myself focus at all #irlshaped

0 notes

halfacowboy · 1 year

Text

Just woke up from my first sleep that wasnt shorter than 2 hours in DAYS. fuck being sick i literally thought i was going to die 2 days ago but feeling myself start to get better is like seeing the world in color again

#i was TERRIFIED of going to sleep for a while there #bc i only slept for 40 minutes before i woke up in agonizing pain #swallowing felt like someone running a knife up the back of my throat #i drank 3 litres of milk in a day just to not want to kill myself when swallowing #i slept in a bathtub bc the air anywhere else was too harsh #AND THEN I GOT PINKEYE #literal hell #holy shit #i commandeered the livingroom and watched fraggles for 2 days #like my hearing is shit now but i can swallow #and sleep #holy shit ive missed sleep #and im loosing my hearing (hopefully temporarily)#but like. life isnt just pain : )#rambles

0 notes

thecherrygod · 1 year

Text

ok i am sitting here waiting for the last 20 minutes before enrolling on my classes, today has been a neutral, bad, good, bad again day, i slept like shit bc this heat is insuferable, and now im sitting here wondering if im just going through a very specific anxiety, its still just the weather, or i managed to get a fever

#my posts #like i know i AM having a very specific anxiety but also is it the only thing?? idk #my face feel warmer than it should but also is all my body and while i dont feel exactly hot im not cold either #like if it IS a fever is a weak one #last time i felt like this i was preparing my final and i was mentally feeling like shit? so. idk??#theres just a lot going on i guess #but yeah i do sorta want to throw up and my throat has been feeling weird these past few days so theres also that?#unsure and probably wont figure it out lmao all i could do is try to sleep relatively soon #but with this weather god who knows #summer should end at some point and i hope it does #.... yeah ill stop this but yeah enrolling is making me feel bad i guess i just genuinely hate it #i hate going to college in general at this point i just want to drop out lmao

0 notes

lockleysfav · 9 months

Text

My Little Flower

Miguel O’Hara x AFAB virgin!Reader

summary: You had just met the spider society and Miguel a few days ago, You and Miguel had been quite chatty with eachother for a while before be was called out to a mission. A few hours later when you’re asleep in the lab, a high Miguel stumbles in.

warnings: NSFW, sex pollen, drugged Miguel, loss of virginity, rough sex, non con, somnophilia, creampie, reader soon loves it.

A/N: From the last post, the poll, i will be doing the top 3 voted smut ideas. If you want to be in a taglist just comment on this post ❤️. Enjoy!!

To say you were tired was an understatement, you had been working on your new costume a few minutes after Miguel was called out to a mission. It was lonely sometimes without him despite the hundreds of spider people around. You knew that you and Miguel were a little closer than others, and his company had always lightened your mood.

You begged him to let you come with him on this mission but he immediately shut you down, rushing off after telling you it’s too dangerous, plus, your suit isnt finished. It was whatever, you scoffed and sat back down to carry on with the designs. “Asshole” you muttered to yourself, mimicking his facial expressions only to make yourself laugh but once you calmed down and looked to the clock and saw it was 10:34pm, you decided to work a little on your laptop in miguels chair (he had the comfiest chair of course).

The door and slammed wide open and yet you didnt flinch for a second, Miguel stumbled in onto his knees, panting and clawing at his neck “fuck what is this” he heaved as he continued to squirm. His fangs had retracted and he felt his body growing warmer and warmer at a certain smell, he didnt realise that smell was you until he forced himself up onto his feet and saw you asleep in his chair, your body hunched over on the desk with your laptop still open, the white light lighting up your face. Miguel almost purred at the sight of you drooling on his desk.

“te necesito” he muttered breathlessly before scrunching up his face in frustration. He couldnt do that to you? right? You were new, still young. You’d hate him but god he couldnt stop his legs from moving towards you. He growled and so desperately tried to hold himself back, his cock straining against his suit.

You were whining ever so slightly in your sleep, Miguel wasnt aware if you were having a nightmare but its what he assumed and it only drove him even crazier “poor bebita” he whispered as he ran his long fingers through your hair before letting the bottom half of his suit fade away, his cock resting against your cheek. His tip was almost gushing with precum, he gripped the back of your hair and growled before pushing the tip into your drooling mouth “oh fuck, thats it good girl” he whimpered as his body grew hotter, his hips suddenly bucking harder into your mouth. Your head twitched and pulled back a little but Miguel gripped your hair tighter holding you in place “im sorry bebita im so sorr- f-fuck” his dick hit the back of your throat and he doubled over emptying his cum on your tongue.

He pulled out panting, he stared down at you expecting you to jolt awake but you were still fast asleep. You were more of a deep sleeper than he thought. Initially he thought he was okay, but the sight of his warm cum dribbling out of your mouth only hardened his cock again. He didnt waste another second, he lifted you up from the desk, the cum from his mouth smearing onto his shoulder causing him to groan. He carried you to his bed and layed you on your stomach, your feet dangling off the edge of the bed. He pulled down your leggings along with your socks and shirt, you stirred for a moment and Miguel stopped, looking at your face until it relaxed again “so good for me, you love it dont you? you want me just as much as i want you” his eyes had turned a deep red, he felt feral.

He straddled your thighs and ran his fingers down your spine before gripping your ass cheeks tight, putting his weight down and spreading you wide open, your puffy pussy exposed to him. He heaved again, saliva spitting from his mouth before spitting directly onto your pussy. This time, you jolted.

“M-Miguel?” you lifted your head realising it was planted down on soft sheets. You feel a pair of large hands on your ass and you quickly realised the situation, the head of his cock pressed against your hole and you immediately thrashed against him to get away “no no! stay!” Miguel had tears in his eyes he was so desperate. He grabbed your arms and pinned them behind your back. “Miguel stop! Im a virgin please please dont do this” you were almost sobbing and Miguel let go of your hands.

“Virgin?” he asked as he looked down again, spreading your pussy lips before looking at the back of your head. “I wont…i wont hurt you okay? please bebita” he leaned down, his body weight completely pinning you down as he kissed behind your ear. “need you so bad, just don’t fight it and it wont hurt i promise” you were panting and whining, you were so scared but also full of adrenaline. You were crushing on Miguel the minute you laid eyes on him. But you were just scared.

Miguel nipped your earlobe making you yelp, he growled and sat back up on his knees, he let you have control over your arms as he started rubbing his thick tip along your slit. He used his thighs to pin your legs together, making sure you wouldnt be able to squirm so much. He pushed in a little and sighed in relief at your loud whining “it hurts! miguel w-wait” but he didnt, he forced himself deeper and deeper, he knew it wouldve been easier for you if his dick was any smaller. He felt guilty in his gut as he continued and struggled to force his cock all the way inside you “shh relax, take me all in baby come on” he pulled back before pushing in again and this time your pussy opened up for him, letting him slide right in making you cry out loudly “miguel!” you were frantic, trying to get away from the pain but Miguel only held you in place, hushing you and kissing your shoulder as he refused to stop his movements.

“Shh it’s alright, dont be scared it’s over j…just stay still and oh- everything will be fine!” he stuttered as sweat dripped from his face. His gut was burning with desire and he couldnt stop, he so desperately wanted to pull out and hold you, tell you hes sorry but he couldn’t.

Miguel had shown a little mercy by flipping you onto your back and spreading your legs before slipping his hands behind your knees and pinning your legs to your chest, folding you together. He saw the fear in your face when you looked down at the size of him “no dont look mi amor, look at me thats it…you’re okay this is gonna feel so good trust me” you shook your head but he only nodded his before sliding his dick back into your pussy. You gasped and pressed your palm’s against his chest a poor attempt to keep him from going any further, he moaned and only slid deeper, hitting your cervix. “too deep” you told him shakily and he ignored you, lifting your legs higher onto his shoulders and pounding into you “fuck you’re so tight, leaking everywhere you little slut you love it, stop being so fucking dramatic and take it” the moment he said this, he slammed against your g-spot and your eyes rolled back “o-oh my god” you bucked your hips up and he smiled against your neck “good girl there we go…” he pulled away to look at you, taking in your beautiful features while pounding you.

You were moaning at each thrust, it was music to Miguels ears and as soon as you started panicking, unknown to what was coming he almost exploded. “mmm fuck dont fight it, let it happen bebita come on let it all out” his encouragement had you crying, your pussy squeezing his cock as you came, making it difficult for him to keep thrusting but it didnt matter, he grabbed your throat tightly and kissed you, pushing his tongue deep in your mouth as he rammed his warm sticky cum into your womb.

Miguel laid his head on your chest, he felt a weight lift off him and he came back to his senses when he heard you crying. He immediately shot up and looked down at you with a frown “oh no…oh im so sorry i..i didnt..i dont know what to say” he cupped your cheeks desperate to hear you say something.

You shook your head in his hands “please dont leave” Miguel was stunned for a moment at your plea, your body was shaking and his heart broke “hey..hey look at me im not going anywhere” he looked into your reddening eyes “im not going anywhere…im so sorry this wasnt how i wanted this to go” he sighed and laid his head back onto your chest “i was hit with some powder i dont know what came over me when i saw you, please babygirl believe me when i say i didnt wanna hurt you i-i never want to hurt you” you were looking up at him, smiling weakly “it’s okay Miguel..i understand” you nuzzle into him and he clung to you tightly “i wont let anyone hurt you..you’re mine” he was gentle with words, it almost felt normal.

You really had no idea what you were getting yourself into.

A/N: Thank you for reading! 💕

likes and reposts are so appreciated <3

#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara smut #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel spiderverse #miguel x you #miguel x y/n #miguel smut #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #steven grant #smut #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley smut #fluff #oscar isaac x reader #oscar isaac smut #spider 2099 x reader

6K notes · View notes

ohdeerfully · 2 months

Note

K hear me out, a wife! Reader x Alastor and Charlie finds out they had a kid when they were alive. (I don’t mind what the kids name is but make them young and passed due to Spanish flu, dark I know)

omg this has been sitting in my drafts so long, i love requests like this </3 im sorry if it seems rushed, i really wanted to finish it!

Mourning Dove

Alastor x Reader (angst, slight comfort at end) TW: CHILD DEATH, child sickness, reader referred to as a woman but doesnt effect story too much join my discord! ═══ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ═══

You sat yourself unceremoniously at the bar in the hotel lobby, shoulders slouched and cheek squished against the cold countertop. You weren’t one for alcohol, but you didn’t mind the company of Husk. He didn’t say much unless prompted, but that didn’t bother you. It was nice, honestly, after a day of dealing with the others.

“Somethin’ the matter?” Okay. Nevermind about him not saying much.

“Hmm?” You responded, barely peeking up from your finger that dragged patterns in the surface you laid against. “I’m good.”

“You don’t look it,” Husk observed, and you knew he was referring to the discoloration of your eyes and the residual dampness of your cheeks from crying. Your hair was a mess, too. Yeah, you looked like shit. “Tough day?”

“I guess, yeah,” You sighed, pushing yourself up and leaning back in a stretch while your fingers gripped the countertop to steady yourself. “Just thinking about… Y’know.”

He didn’t pry, and you were thankful for that. Husk did know a little, actually, and knew better than to push for more details. After being stuck with Alastor for so long, with the guy owning his soul and all, he inevitably learned some deep shit about him and, by extension, you. He just grunted in response and went back to spot cleaning his bottles of booze.

“(Y/N)!” A chipper voice called your name, and you squeezed your eyes shut in frustration. You thought you were done with all of this for the day, and you were so ready to just go to sleep. “I wanted everybody to join me for dinner today! We have a few new residents, so I want everybody to meet each other.”

You squeezed your lips to prevent a harsh word from responding to Charlie’s invitation. You were so tired. You feigned a weak smile and looked at her. You wanted to say no, to say you needed to sleep, but those huge, pleading eyes of hers caught the rejection in your throat. You tried to reason with yourself that Charlie doesn’t host stuff like this very often. It would just be one night. You’ll survive.

“Okay.”

She clasped her hands together and jumped on the balls of her feet, thanked you, and took off to find the next resident to invite. You held your head against your hand and you sighed dramatically. Husk looked at you from the corner of his eye, but opted to remain silent. You stood up after a few more minutes of quiet sulking, deciding you should fix yourself up for dinner.

In your room, you gently fixed your hair and threw on a casual outfit. Nothing super nice, just in case food started flying–knowing the antics of some of the hotel residents, it wouldn’t be a surprise.

You slowly made your way to the banquet room, which Charlie had installed for events like today. You could already hear the low murmur of small talk, and you were surprised to see a few new faces. Not a whole lot, just about five, alongside the familiar faces of your friends. Charlie’s hotel was, slowly but surely, becoming more successful.

You spotted Alastor quickly–he was hard to miss due to his height. You settled yourself in a chair next to him at a long table that Charlie had dragged into the room for everybody to sit at. You felt your skin prickle with the familiar sensation of static, which increased slightly as his attention turned towards you. He gave you a grin before focusing his eyes on the racket that was already picking up. You watched his smile curl, a bit sinister, as the sound of shouting caught your attention.

“-my fuckin’ business!” You picked up the tail end of Angel Dust fuming at Vaggie, one pair of arms crossed under his chest. He had a third hand on his hip, with his fourth hand jabbing an accusatory point at the woman in front of him.

“Guys, please!” Charlie pleaded, pressing her shoulder against Vaggie’s in an attempt to move her away from Angel. “I don’t want to scare my new guests away!”

“Tell this bitch to keep her nose outta my shit! I can’t have my fuckin’ life on the line because she doesn’t like my job!” Angel spat. There was a dangerous, maybe even frantic, look in his eyes. Before Charlie could say anything, Angel had spun around and stormed to the table. He ripped the chair out and slammed his body down. All four of his arms were crossed now as he glowered at the wooden tabletop.

You sighed, and felt a headache already forming.

Angel’s spirits quickly changed when Husk sulked into the room. He had his paws stuffed in his pockets, and glared at the air in front of him. He sat down at the other end of the table, but Angel was quick to stand up and saunter his way over to sit next to the cat. You couldn’t quite catch the flirtatious remarks that made Husk roll his eyes.

You observed them for a while, watching as Husk slowly grew more comfortable in the small talk he and Angel shared. He would never admit it, but you knew Husk didn’t hate Angel’s company. Husk seemingly said something about you to Angel that made him whip his head up to look at you. You quickly averted your gaze.

Charlie had been standing by her own chair, and a cough from her throat made the chatter die down. You didn’t really listen to the overly sappy speech she had started to give, your mind drifting away in absent thought. You picked your nails into the edge of the table, fidgeting with the light cloth.

Alastor caught your attention by lightly nudging his leg against yours. You trailed your eyes up to his, meeting his red gaze. There was a hint of worry in his eyes, and his grin twitched at the edges as he looked at your exhausted face. He tilted his head in a silent question.

You merely shook your head in response, and mouthed a quick “it’s nothing” and hoped that he wouldn’t press. He didn’t, but you knew he’d ask again in a private room.

Charlie sat down again, and Vaggie rubbed her shoulder, murmuring a silent praise. You dragged your eyes across the table, making note of the handful of new faces. None of them seemed to take Charlie very seriously, but that didn’t come as a surprise. They probably just liked free food.

The food in question seemingly materialized out of nowhere, and you chalked it up to her “princess of hell” type powers that she didn’t use very often. You smiled gratefully and, though you didn’t have much of an appetite, you started slowly picking at the plate in front of you.

The room once again began to rumble with small talk, but at some point the multiple conversations began to melt together until the whole table was talking to each other in one. Charlie was doing most of the heavy lifting with keeping the conversation going.

“-the deal with the Radio Demon and that gal next to him?” You perked your ears when you heard this reference to yourself. One of the new guests, some sort of lizard demon, had a finger pointed at the two of you. He had a slight country drawl in his voice. You saw Alastor’s smile widen when the attention of the table turned towards himself.

“My darling wife,” Alastor stated simply, briefly placing a hand on your shoulder. His eyes were closed as he smiled proudly. You silently nodded with a light, polite smiling. “We knew each other in life. It’s only natural for us to remain together. It would have been a shame for death to do us part.”

“Didn’t think you was the type…” The lizard said slowly, eyeing the two of you carefully. You didn’t blame him; what kind of nut job would marry the Radio Demon? Though, as Alastor said, you were married before Hell, and he wasn’t so… infamous back then. He was actually rather sweet, besides the whole serial killer thing–which, in your defense, you weren’t even aware of till he was shot to death.

“Didn’t think ya were the type to have a kid, either,” Angel piped up absently, one arm thrown lazily over the back of his chair. You watched as Husk tried desperately to shut him up as he continued to speak, but you barely heard the words over the sound of your heart picking up pace, and the increased radio frequency of Alastor’s. His body had stiffened and his eyes had shot open, quickly narrowing as his smile strained and curled dangerously, his gums visible in a snarl. His eyes were not on Angel, but on Husk, whose ears were flattened against his head and a nervous look in his wide eyes.

You weren’t really paying attention though, but you felt the intense tension and rapid prickling on your skin. Your breathing became more labored and you pointed your face to the table to try to hide the building tears in your eyes. You had tried so hard, all day, to push back the memories that kept threatening to resurface. What are the chances that on the same day, the topic was brought up, destroying the wall you had built to contain the anxiety, regret, grief…

You were kneeling by the wrinkled, messy sheets of the twin bed your son had been in for the past couple days. Your heart was tight, and you could barely breathe as you looked at him. He gazed blearily at the ceiling, following the path of the rocking fan. Every breath he took scratched at his throat, as if there were pebbles blocking the path. He barely had the strength to cough. His lips were dry and cracked, and his graying skin still had a flush of fever. You used a damp rag to clean the dried snot under his nose.

You had tried everything. Every recommended antibiotic, every treatment, therapy, exercise; nothing had worked. Nobody knew how to treat the illness. You had even tried to work with witch doctors that Alastor knew. You had spent so much of what little money you had trying to save your little boy.

Alastor was often gone during this time, being the one to go out and find something new to try. You never left the room, even when your husband tried to push you to go outside to stretch your legs or take a shower. He promised to watch over your son. But you just couldn’t, not with David laying on these dirty sheets, looking so frail, weak, and small. You had often called him little dove, and it made you sick to think that your nickname was now like a cruel adjective to describe his current state. A sick, frail baby bird. He had barely eaten in the past eight days, and you didn’t want to admit to yourself that any scratchy breath he took could be that last one.

You stiffened when his head rolled over towards you, and his eyes struggled to focus on you. His cracked lips grimaced for a moment, followed by a sharp, grating cough that made your heart drop and your eyes sting. You reached a shaky hand forward to smooth down his knotted hair.

“Am I going to be okay,” David said weakly. His voice caught on the tightness in his throat multiple times. “I feel really bad.”

“I know baby, but you’re okay,” You said tenderly, continuing to stroke his hair. “Your dad is getting you some new medicine. You’ll be okay.”

You were lying to him, and to yourself. But you couldn’t help but cling on to a morsel of hope–it was all you could do, really. David just looked towards you, his eyes flicking around slightly, unable to truly focus on anything.

“I’m tired.” He said. His breathing was labored.

“I know.”

Your emotions threatened to spill from your eyes as you watched him turn his head back towards the ceiling, eyes shutting. You didn’t want to cry; you couldn’t, not in front of him. You needed to stay strong for him.

You pressed the back of your hand to his burning forehead, and then trailed your hand to his chest, lightly pressing against him to feel his heartbeat. It was slow, and slowing. Your own heart picked up in response.

You heard the door in another room open, shut, and footsteps quickly pace towards the room. The door cracked lightly, and the tall, thin frame of your husband peeked in. He held a brown back tightly in his fist. With one look into your eyes, he knew something was wrong. Or, well, more wrong than usual.

You clenched your jaw to prevent any sob from escaping your lips as he sat the bag down on an end table and kneeled next to you, gripping your waist tightly as he looked at David. The boy’s breath had gotten dangerously quiet.

You watched as his eyes opened again.

“I’m tired.” He repeated, weaker this time.

Both you and Alastor leaned towards the bed, his hand on David’s leg as you gingerly lifted the boy’s head into your arms, pulling his light body towards yourself. You shifted yourself up into the bed with him, trying to wrap as much of yourself around your son as possible. You could feel his heartbeat getting slower with every weak breath he took.

“Sleep, then,” your voice trembled. You felt Alastor grip your shoulder, his other hand softly rubbing David’s arm. You couldn’t describe the expression on his face. “I’ll see you in the morning, little dove.” You lied.

“In heaven?” He responded. Your breath hitched at his words. He knew, somehow, that he was dying. How sick it was, for such a young boy to be aware of his impending death. How cruel God was.

“Yeah, I promise,” Was all you could muster. You worried that any more would destroy the dam that held back your tears.

It broke, though, when you felt David’s heart finally stop. You choked on a sob once, twice, before finally you started wailing. Screaming. You held a vice-like grip on the boy, both your arms and legs secured around him. Alastor was still quiet, but he had sat across from you on the bed and pulled you towards him, securing you and David’s still-warm body in an equally tight grip. You could feel his strained breathing and tight jaw against your head. He said something, but you didn’t hear him.

Your mind rushed back to the present when you felt a hand on your back. Your head whipped towards Alastor, who was looking at you. The table was dead silent, and there was still a look of rage in his eyes, but his smile held a softness that was only ever given to you. Your heart still beat strongly, and you struggled to breathe, but you were at least glad that your mind was still back in the present.

Evidently, barely any time had passed. Angel had a nervous look in his expression, which he tried and failed to mask as Husk cursed at him. Charlie was looking at you in worry.

“(Y/N),” She said softly. “...How come you never-”

“Truly, there is no point in speaking of life before death,” Alastor interrupted her, the usual cheer in his voice lilted by a masked emotion. You knew he felt the same grief as you, but he was a million times better at acting naturally. “What a waste of time and emotion.”

Alastor stood quickly, his hand trailing against your shoulders as he walked past you and towards Angel and Husk. Husk’s ears flattened to his skull again as Alastor loomed over them, hands behind his back as a smile twisted his features.

“Husker, my friend,” He said, the cat demon visibly flinching at the mention of his name. “Let’s take a walk.”

Husk didn’t move, and the room grew heavy with tension with every second as the sound of radio frequency got louder and somehow sharper. Alastor bent at the waist, his snarling smile inches away from the panicked expression on Husk’s face.

“Is the tomcat getting too old to hear?” You barely picked up Alastor’s words, but you definitely heard the threatening tone in his voice.

The cat swallowed hard before standing up. He shot one last infuriated look at Angel, before whipping his head back to attention when Alastor tapped his cane against the ground impatiently. The two of them left the room, and the tension in the air immediately lifted when the door shut.

Charlie startled you when she placed a delicate hand on your upper arm, and she guided you to your feet and out another set of doors. A weak smile touched her expression.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked as you both went up the stairs towards your hotel room. You shook your head silently at her offer. She only nodded back, and said nothing more. She opened the door to your room for you, and waited till you settled down in your bed before saying a string of comforting words that you didn’t really pay attention to. The door clicked softly, and you once again began to sob.

Only a few minutes passed before you felt your skin prickle with a static-like feeling. You had grown to find comfort in the odd sensation, and felt incredibly relieved when you knew Alastor was sitting next to you. You didn’t even hear him enter the room.

He pulled you wordlessly against his chest, lying the two of you down. You twisted yourself in his grip till your ear rested against him, listening to the odd drum of what you assumed was a heart.

“Has David been troubling you all day?” He asked you when your sobs slowed and you caught your breath. You nodded. Alastor rubbed a soothing hand on your shoulder blade. You recognized the tone of grief in his voice as he spoke. “What a pesky boy, even all these years later.”

You wrapped your arms tightly around Alastor’s neck as tears began flowing again.

Though you would never tell him, you often hoped Charlie’s idea of redemption would work. Your husband himself would likely never follow that path; you knew he saw no point and enjoyed the power he held in Hell. But, you wished every day to see your son again. To see your little dove.

You had promised him.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #angst #TW: child death #child death #ohdeerfully

2K notes · View notes