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duggardata · 3 years

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What do we know about Whitney’s adoption? What are her adoptive parents names? Do they have other children? Why did Whitney live with them and for how long? Do they stay in touch now? I’m both an adoptive parent and a foster parent so I’m very curious!

Info, Please!: What Do We Know About Whitney Bates’s Adoption?

We don't know too much, and most of what we do know comes from Kelly Jo responding to comments on the Bates Family Blog. (Comments are no longer visible on the public site, but are archived on Wayback Machine—and now, on Duggar Data’s Imgur.)

When Gil + Kelly Jo announced Zach + Whitney's Courtship (in July 2013), Kelly mentioned that Whitney was adopted. Kelly wrote—

“Whitney was adopted into a family including 11 other siblings. Her parents, Johnny + Lydia Owens, live in Clinton, TN. Her father is a preacher and her mother is a hair stylist.”

This is still visible on the current Bates Family Blog, since it isn’t in a comment. Duggar Data has identified Johnny Owens as John Richard Owens, Jr. (b. 8–5–68) and Lydia Owens as Lydia Faith (Taylor) Owens (b. 5–26–67). They married in Tennessee on March 6, 1987. (Citation—Public Records on Ancestry.) They live in Clinton, Anderson County, Tennessee, which is ~7 Miles and 15 Minutes from the Bates Family Home. (Citation—Public Property Records.)

As Kelly said, Johnny is a preacher and Lydia is a hair stylist. Duggar Data did some digging, but isn’t sure which church Johnny preached at. (I thought that I’d found it when I found this, but then realized Parsons, TN is a ~4 Hour Drive from where the Owenses live.) It was probably a Baptist church though, since Whitney met the Owenses at church, and Whitney was and is Baptist. Duggar Data had a much easier time identifying Lydia’s workplace. It is Lydia’s Family Haircutters in Olive Springs, TN.

As for how Whitney came to be adopted by the Owenses... That’s revealed in the comments. According to Kelly, Whitney was childhood friends with one of the Owens Daughters, Laklee Owens (1991–2002). Sadly, Laklee died in a car crash at Age 11. (Kelly said 13—but, it seems she’s mistaken.) After Laklee’s death, Johnny + Lydia became foster and adoptive parents. When Whitney is “placed into foster care” a few years later at Age 13, the Owenses took her in. Per Kelly, “they were awarded custody of Whitney when she was 16.” Kelly’s phrasing suggests either the Court or CPS was involved—but, it’s unclear if it was a true legal adoption, a foster situation, a guardianship, or what.

Whitney is an Only Child, biologically; however, as Kelly Jo said, the Owenses had custody of 12 Children (Whitney + 11 Other Siblings), as of July 17, 2013. It’s unknown how many are biological, adopted, or foster; however, Kelly later said (in September 2013) that the Owenses only had 10 Children. Maybe that was a typo, or possibly that’s an indication that several of the children were in fact foster children in temporary placements.

Duggar Data has been able to identify some of the Owens Children... Quite a few were in Zach + Whitney’s Wedding Party—and thus, listed in the program. Those include 1 Bridesmaid (Nakota Owens), 3 Flower Girls (Ella, Bella, Sadie Owens), the Ring Bearer (Philip Owens), and 1 Usher (Brandon Owens). (So... That’s 6 of 11 Siblings, right there!) As far as I can tell, Whitney doesn’t follow any of her Adoptive Siblings on social media, as of 2021.

So... Why did Whitney end up in foster care, in the first place? That we don’t know; Kelly didn’t say and Whitney has never said, either. All we know is that, for some reason, Whitney seems to blame herself. (Which seems... Very, very messed up. How on Earth could she, a child, be to blame for it?!) She stated on Instagram in 2018—

One of my biggest regrets in life was decisions I made that led me down a road of loneliness, guilt, and heartache. I didn’t value the amazing parents I had and drove a wedge in our relationship for many years. As I got older and married Zach, I knew in my heart that I needed to make things right with God and my parents. My gracious and Godly parents not only forgave me before either of our children were ever born, they loved me unconditionally. They were there for me at Bradley’s and Kaci’s birth. They’ve been there for me through thick and thin. They are the best parents in the world and two of my very best friends.

So, yeah... It’s unclear what happened. Whatever it was, apparently they were still completely estranged as of December 2013, since Whitney’s Parents didn’t attend her wedding to Zach.

#whitney bates perkins

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sweetestpopcorn · 2 years

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Daemon and Rhaenyra were not very religious as we understand from fire and blood. Nor were the Velaryons. It is quite possible that neither were their children. How is it that their grandchildren (Baelor, Naerys, Rhaena and maybe Aemon) were religious to the point of fanaticism.

Hi there 🤗

I truly am not the best person to answer this one because as an atheist (very proud atheist) - raised as an atheist by my parents - I have a serious struggle to understand religious fanaticism. Especially when it just brings unhappiness and unnecessary rules to people's lives for the sake of... I don't know "having a place in heaven" I guess. 🤷‍♀️ no offense to anyone, I just struggle to understand it.

That being said I do find it hum... fascinating to see the lengths people are willing to go and how much they destroy their own lives and the lives of their children. I always feel like I am watching some creepy show when I see religious extremism and I love following certain notorious very fundamentalists families like the Duggars and the Bates - look them up seriously, they are a dream if you are into such things. And please everyone, if you don't know the Duggars do search about them and then about the "Josh Duggar scandal" 😂😂 this is why reality is almost always so much more entertaining than fiction. You're welcome.

Back to asoiaf though, and because in real life I am not religious I just cannot resonate with any overly religious character, so people like Maegelle, Baelor, Naerys, Rhaena, and Aemon really are all just big snore fests to me.

From an objective view point I do commend Maegelle for spending her life helping others, and I do understand she was a good and kind woman, but that religious aspect... I just can't see past it, sorry. I don't dislike her but... I don't really care about her.

Baelor was just an absolute no and the poster child to religious fanaticism of how much you will ruin your life and the lives of others because you are... I don't want to say insane but not very stable mentally and have a lot of... interesting ideas.

Naerys is just presented as a victim who clung to her faith and I just... this is the type of character I cannot stand. Do I feel for her about everything she had to go through and understand that maybe her faith was the only thing she could cling to? I do. Do I like her as a character? I really don't, sorry. I find this character type really to not be my cup of tea. I do still love her name though.

Rhaena... I mean... who's Rhaena at this point? Again, I just can't be bothered. Nothing about her that I find interesting. I just can't resonate with anything she does, or find it the slight bit interesting.

And finally... Aemon. Hum... again I don't really care. Good on him for defending Naerys, my objective self stans but... I never understood why the Kingsguard was so great. Like, why would you want to live like a monk and spend your life protecting the king with no gain but "being famous"? I just don't understand the appeal, sorry.

So, because religious characters don't really interest me, I don't spend much time thinking of it. If I had to guess though, on why they were like this, my money would be on them not having a lot of attention from their parents (i.e., Aegon III and Viserys II) and finding other "parental" figures like septons, septas, maesters and knights of the Kingsguard who influenced them to be more religious.

It's honestly my best guess here, and it's not a very good one I think.

Sorry I can't be of more help.

All the best to you, Anon 🤗

#baelor targaryen #naerys targaryen #aemon targaryen #rhaena targaryen #I just... I just don't really care about them #sorry #I really do struggle to understand this behaviour and to get inside their minds #I am just being honest here #no offense to anyone #popcorn answers

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wtffundiefamilies · 3 years

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Look, I get that this site is garbage, but...fact is, I actually believe they’re right in why Josh took and posted that video. Same reason he made that “we ARE from Arkansas” crack when JD and Jana chaperoned him and Anna on a double-date.

Edit: the video is still up and I watched it. It’s something that would probably not raise an eyebrow in normal circumstances, but given the context, it does feel really gross.

The video does not feature illegal content.

But as people have noted to their horror on social media, it is rendered disgusting by context.

On February 22 of 2015, the world did not know nearly so much about who Josh really is.

At that time, he and Anna made a post to their shared Facebook account.

(Shared marital social media accounts are creepy under even the best of circumstances)

The video was captioned "How to eat a banana quickly."

In it, one of Josh's sisters, only 10 years old at the time, ate a banana in just a few bites.

While we are not identifying that sister, Josh's post did identify her by name.

Obviously, in that girl's mind, particularly given the lack of education in the Duggar family, it was a harmless video about fruit.

Many parents these days would know better than to publicly share some innocuous content.

After all, one never knows what creeps on the internet might find photos and videos of their young children.

In this case, unfortunately, the call was coming from inside of the house.

Investigators found video and dozens of images of girls between the ages of 5 and 10 years of age.

That content depicted the sexual abuse of little girls, some carried out by an adult man.

Obviously, a fully clothed girl eating a banana is not in the same category.

But in the adult world, banana eating is often used to playfully suggest oral sex.

Even without Josh's reputation, an adult man posting a video of a child eating bananas would be in poor taste.

"I hope this video does get taken down, to protect the family from someone stealing this for some sick purpose or game," one commenter wrote.

Another added: "Josh and Anna, please be extra careful with things you post or repost of younger siblings or your own kids."

Obviously, even people who support the Duggar family do not like seeing this kind of content posted ... or remaining up for 5 years.

We don't know if Josh was deliberately sexualizing his then 10-year-old sister in his mind at the time.

It is possible that the video was only posted for innocent reasons.

But given that Josh has not exactly been known to exclude his sisters from his perversions, fans cannot rule it out.

#sin in the camp #team legitimate rape #Josh Duggar #duggar family

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more-quiverfull-sims · 3 years

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So Many Fun Updates!!!

Author’s Note: Ingrid’s family is really growing, and both her and Stetson have now both aged into later adulthood. Ingrid’s parents are elders now, too. I will have to choose an heir soon. So far, I’m tending towards either Hope or Evangeline. Both of them have shown a lot of personality from the start.

On another note, I’d love to hear predictions on how many kids Ingrid + Stetson will ultimately have. I’m thinking it’ll probably be sixteen or seventeen, maybe even more if they have twins again.

I also wanted to note re: Brenna that she and her husband dislike the fundamentalist lifestyle (due to not living up to their parents’ standards) and will be fundie-lite at most. They’ve moved to an apartment in the city and are using birth control until Brenna is at least 21. They’ll still have a big family, but will likely send their children to Christian private school, and Brenna will be able to work part-time as a piano teacher.

Read on for an extra nutty blog post...my favorite part is Ingrid’s insistence on flexing on her sisters by adding a modesty turtleneck to an already insane bridesmaid dress. Ingrid’s mother, Katlyn, has become a little less strict with her youngest kids as she’s burned out over time...but Ingrid isn’t about to relax her own standards.

Hello everyone! My, how nice it is to be checking out the blog again!! I love sharing our adventures with you!!

Here I am at the very end of my pregnancy with Patience Grace!

My sweet Mama got to visit me and help me take care of the little ones, and talk about how I was coping with my pregnancy!!

Later that day, I delivered our TENTH child, Patience Grace Gorman!

I had a great opportunity to speak with little Evangeline May about having a happy heart about a new baby! Our children love being part of a large family, but babies are born sinners and must be TRAINED to show a happy heart at all times! Little Evangeline is still working on this, and I am being sure to keep her on the right path!

Helen aged up into toddlerhood JUST before I delivered Patience Grace. I love putting pink bows in my girls’ hair, and they love it, too! I’ve also strived to begin instilling modesty in my girls at an EARLY age so that they learn not to make their bodies a temptation from the time they are small! Notice my girls are always in dresses and with their knees covered! It is such a blessing to learn how to shield our brothers from temptation!

I also recently celebrated my thirty-fifth birthday. I can’t believe that Stetson and I have been married for more than fifteen PERFECT years and serving the Lord all the while. We are among the rare few that are participating in his perfect design for humanity...which was evidenced by the fact that days after this photo was taken, I found out that I was pregnant with baby #11, a PRECIOUS boy named Landyn Mason!!!

On another happy note, my sweet sister Brenna recently became engaged and then married! She became engaged to nineteen-year-old Alejandro Delgado at the age of seventeen! Alejandro is a commercial fisherman who is also a violinist on the side! Brenna loves the violin, too, and they met at a concert for homeschool graduates last year! Brenna didn’t know he was interested in her until he asked our Daddy for his permission to court her six months ago. They fell in love quickly, and I was so thrilled for her!

Brenna’s sweet wedding day! It was a very beautiful ceremony! Brenna had just turned eighteen a few days before! It was held on my parents’ property. My Daddy presided as preacher and married them. I was surprised Daddy allowed an outdoor wedding at first, but in the end we all liked the idea of Brenna getting married on our parents’ homestead! Their love has been so fruitful and led to so much!

Aren’t they a nice couple?! I am SO pleased that Brenna settled down and got married at an appropriate age. She always had such SPIRIT as a child and loved school, which I often had to remind her was not lady-like. Her academic energies were ONLY necessary so that she could learn to be a teacher for her children, as I explained! Luckily Alejandro seems okay with being married to a woman who likes to speak up sometimes! But Mama and I will be helping Brenna remain a submissive helpmeet!

We got a nice photo of all my sisters here! Aren’t our dresses GORGEOUS!? Mama helped pick them out, and I chose to layer mine out of modesty! I didn’t want anybody gazing upon the arms that belong to my husband!

After the wedding, Alejandro moved with Brenna to an apartment in San Myshuno. They’ve been married almost seven months now! Praying that they will be graced with a blessing soon!

Our family also had a wonderful time celebrating Harvestfest recently. I slaved away ALL day making dinner for everyone!! It is such a blessing to serve my family!! I keep my babies so well-nourished and rested. It is such a joy and truly the calling of my life.

Look at all of us gathered around the table that some sweet folks at church donated to us! Daddy’s gotten a lot older, and recently Thaddeus has taken over the helm for preaching. The congregation is growing every day!

This is me after another successful homebirth with baby Landyn. I did tear quite a bit during the birth and had to be hospitalized afterward. I may soon follow the way of my heroine, Michelle Duggar, and go to the hospital for any subsequent births! I realized, after speaking with Stetson, that the Lord has blessed me and that I need not strive to please him by giving birth at home. Stetson told me that this is what the Lord has planned for me, and I submitted right away! That is what wives must do, without question, all the time!

My sweet girls have been SO great about helping me with my littles recently. I’m so glad that Hope and Katlynn are learning to be good, obedient helpmeets so that they can serve their husbands one day!! I could NOT do things without them and have officially started buddy teams as the two oldest girls become old enough to manage them!

Can you believe how busy our family has been recently?! I can’t believe how quickly time is flying!!! My oldest babies are already 15, 13, and almost 12 (Ezekiel, Josiah, and Hope)! Soon we will be planning THEIR courtships and making way for THEIR babies. It’s hard to believe how time flies...

Finally, we are so excited to announce that the LORD has blessed us AGAIN!! We are so beyond fortunate to be expecting our precious baby #12 in the spring!! The Lord has SEEN our service and SEEN the hearts we have for him. We ALWAYS seek to serve him even when the world is against us. We are stopped much more often now and asked about our large family, with some even exclaiming and asking why we would want so many children!! This is evidence of the backward way of the world and the way so many women have fallen out of their natural roles as wives and mothers. I am SO glad I have taken the path of righteousness and that I am showing MY sweet daughters the way.

We haven’t found out the gender of baby #12, which will mark a first for us! So far we have six boys and five girls...what do you think the next baby will be?!?

Gorman Children (so far):

1. Ezekiel Luther

2. Josiah Thomas

3. Hope Geraldine

4. Isaiah Stetson

5. Katlynn Marie

6. John Brice

7. Evangeline May

8. Camden Duggarson

9. Helen Praise

10. Patience Grace

11. Landyn Mason

12. Baby Gorman

#thegormans #fundiesims #sims 4 #sims 4 legacy #quiverfull #quiverfull sims

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keepingupwithfundies · 4 years

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CO 1110: From Snow to Sand

The Vuolos host friends, and take them from snow to sand in one weekend. Joe and Ben host a Dad-chelor Party for John. Joy & Austin share exciting news with their family.

-T

Minor Miscarriage TW: Mentions of Miscarriage at the end of the episode, as Joy announces her pregnancy and hosts a gender reveal.

In LA, the Vuolos' friends James and Seung Hye are in town. They've been friends for a while, and have been on the show before. James photographed Jeremy's proposal to Jinger, and came to visit in Laredo and are now visiting LA. Seung Hye says California is so warm and nice, and asks how they're settling in. Jinger says it feels like home, and they are excited to snow their friends around. Jeremy says LA is one of the few areas of the country where you can quickly go from snow to sand, and that is the plan for the weekend. Everyone is excited for this plan.

Joe and Ben are throwing John a Dad-chelor Party- a play on "Bachelor party" for someone about to have a child. But Gracie came early, but they've decided to go ahead with the party anyway. Ben says it will be fun to have some guy time and celebrate with John. They're gonna do the "ultimate man food" steaks, and lots of games-diaper basketball. Spurgeon asks if he can go, and Ben says yes. They head to go shopping. First, they go to the butcher shop and the grocery store. They go to Jer & Jed's place, and Ben wets diapers in the sink. The guys arrive from the Duggar house- and Ben and joe have gotten funny tshirts for everyone- uncle shirts for the younger guys. Spurgeon says James is his favorite uncle, because he fixes stuff when it's broken. Austin's shirt says "I Make Cut Babies" and Josiah's says "Ask Me About My Dad Jokes." In talking heads, they tell dad jokes.

Back in California, the friends arrive at the mountains of Big Bear Lake. It's a bit warm, but there is snow. Another friend, Madison, watches Felicity while everyone else heads up the mountain. Everyone is excited for tubing, and they have fun heading down the mountain. Jeremy teases James for wearing a Team USA Olympic jacket, but James did a photoshoot for figure staking Olympians. After tubing, they head to the alpine slide- you ride on a little sled, and you can control your speed as you go. The Vuolos both head out and go fast- but Jinger uses her break a little, so Jeremy wins. James and Seung Hye go next, and James goes quickly as well. Seung Hye uses a heavy hand on her break and moves more slowly. Everyone teases her, and she makes it to the end of the hill. Everyone had a fun day, and they are excited to go to the beach tomorrow.

Back in Arkansas, John arrives at his Dad-chelor Party. John says they have been doing well since Gracie arrived, and they've been laying low and staying home so much. Ben sets everyone up to play diaper basketball-it's best of 5. Everyone has fun shooting and making jokes, and it ends up in a tie of John, Jer, Ben, Justin and Josiah with 3 each. They have them step back and go again. Justin ends up winning the tiebreaker. Next up, the steaks are served without any sides. As they eat, they talk about Gracie- and John says Abbie does most of the late nights to feed Gracie. In a Talking Head, Abbie says if she woke up him, he would do anything she needed. Joe says he doesn't wake up, he's a heavy sleeper-and Austin says he's a light sleeper and wakes up Joy. Josiah, Austin and Ben recount their experiences with newborns, and Ben says Ivy is their easiest baby yet. John says Gracie relies on them for everything, and taking care of her is a privilege and an honor. Ben asks everyone to give encouragement to John, and says he is an encouragement to his family and he is excited for them. The other guys say they knew John would be a great dad because he was a great big brother, and they joke about the boys room. JB asks John what he misses about the boy's room, and John says "absolutely nothing," and everyone laughs. The other brothers talk about what a good person John is, and Austin talks about how he always also saw John as a role model: he's wise beyond his years, and Austin is looking forward to seeing him raise Austin. Ben says it is important for guys to affirm and encourage one another. John says the party was a lot of fun, and he really enjoyed it. JB says they should do this for every new grandbaby, and Justin jokes they'd be over every week.

Back in LA, the Vuolos and friends head to Venice beach for a picnic. Felicity is so cute, and she loves the beach and food. She is very social, Jeremy says, and she is talking a lot to James and Seung Hye. Felicity is also particular, and she doesn't like to have anything on her hands. Jeremy says it is nice to be in a place where they can do things like this, and they should be more intentional about planning days out. Jeremy says while Felicity means they have to include extra planning, it is cool to see her explore the world. James asks Jeremy if he's been in the Pacific, and Jeremy says no. Jeremy and James agree to plunge in after lunch. They talk about kites- and Jeremy says he doesn't remember flying a kite ever. Jinger says they flew kites all the time growing up, but she's never done it on the beach. There is no wind on Venice beach that day, so Jeremy sprints to get it up in the air- it doesn't last long. Felicity is not impressed with the kites at all. After running around with the kites, the guys are ready to plunge into the ocean-and they both run into the very cold pacific. It was freezing, but both guys are pleased with their dip. The Snow to Sand adventure was a big hit.

Joy and Austin are expecting, and they are excited to reveal the gender to their family. Joy says the pregnancy has been harder since time since their loss, but the whole family is thrilled for them. The family gathers up together outside, and Jessa says just about every gender reveal has been used up so far. Joy is having John fly over in a helicopter and drop confetti over the group. The helicopter approaches, and everyone is looking for the color. Everyone guesses blue or pink, and Joy is so excited as the helicopter comes closer. Pink confetti rains down on them, and everyone celebrates. Michelle is surprised it is another granddaughter-and everyone is excited for another little girl. This baby means it will officially be 9 boys and 9 girl Grandduggars. Everyone is excited, and this reveal was over the top. Joy says it has been a tough road, but she is excited and thankful everything is ok.

#CO season 11 #recap #counting on #miscarriage mention

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confessinbouthanson · 4 years

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“ an open letter to everyone about zac

i just found out about this a few days ago, i have looked at the twitter account that posted screenshots, i have been to the reddit. and i feel like i must still be missing something? nowhere did i see anything like f**k n******s /jews/trans people ect. i saw a lot of republican support and gun humor…that were posted on his PRIVATE ACCOUNTS . there WILL be people in this world who do out and do and say things that offend YOU. be an adult and move on. dont stalk, shame, harass or start an online rampage on 3 websites causing the person involved to turn off comments and his wife to straight up leave. who do YOU people think you are? you think you have the right to do that because youve been a ‘fan’ since '97 so your entitled to bash him? because hes a celebrity? hes still human he has the right to privacy and makes mistakes.if your so offended they didnt post blm or anything like that guess what alot of other celebrities and bands didnt eaither. some people dont want to post anything about it because its very controversial and last i checked hanson is not about contravercy. zac stated the bitter truth him posting blm will not stop it from happening again, just like celebrities donating money wont stop it. the way this generation of kids are raised will and so will changing laws .thats it. he didnt makes those memes he reposted them. they have been on the internet forever alot of other people reposted them too. again most of what i saw was gun humor and republican support ect. not for everyone. some people are die hard republicans and will vote for the candidate JUST because they want their party to win, does not matter who it is or what they stand for. you cant just say oh hes a trump supporter so hes racist. you sound so ignorant. people want to twist things and make things much bigger than they are.if i missed a post saying n******rs and je*s /tans gays ect suck and need to die or anything along those lines please share id love to see. and all of you saying how can kate put up with him ect and how their first few years were shaky, post proof of that too. how the hell would you know what goes on behind closed doors?do you live with them? even if they did have a rough start, every relationship has growing pains esp when you are young. everyone who is a 'fanson’ should already know blues, jazz motown-mostly black artists were huge influence on hanson. they have worked with many black aritsts. just like anyone who is a 'fanson’ should know they are DEVOUT greek orthodox christians. ie: very very oldschool stream of Christianity that follows the OLD testiment, basic Christianity follows the new testimate ie: living through the example of jesus , jesus loves everyone gay straight black white ect look into it, the believes ect. its their right to live that way if thats what they choose to do, alot of religions do look down on gays trans ect and truely belive you will go to hell for it because the way the testimate is written and translated. very duggar esq. some strains of that dont even allow the women to wear pants and you can only eat certain foods on certain days ect. again if thats his beliefs thats his beliefs.not everyone supports those lifestyles just because the internet popularized them. hell mainstream tv was sill making stereotype jokes about gays up until like 6 years ago. i saw no uproar online about celebrities that follow kabballah (the red bracelets) no half of you dont even know what that REALLY is, no you just wear the bracelet because its trendy and your fav celeb wears it. im not even gonna sit here and be all like 'well he is from oklahoma and alot of people are biggots there' because guess what? its like that everywhere. ive lived all over the country and it is like that in small towns and large citys. north south east west. and kate posting things on her ig about not supporting planned parenthood, well although they do offer many medical services they also preform abortions. again religious and republican people have a very big issue with that. and shes from ga so maybe she had family that were confederate soldiers which is why she said save the flag. im not saying this is right or not disgusting, im saying there are all kinds of people in the world and you CAN NOT hate, harass, bully ect someone because they dont believe the same stuff you do. it does not matter they are a celebrity dont even go there with them having a 'responsibility’ the ONLY thing they are responsible for is what made them famous-making music. you guys went out of your way to stalk him and invade his privacy, you had a certain image of him in your minds and put him on a pedestal and when he proved it to be wrong, now your pissed off. you all need to grow the fuck up. what are you gonna go through life bashing everyone that does not drop their beliefs for whats socially popular? posting memes does not mean hes a straight up ass in person to people that are black, gay, trans, fat ect. actions speak louder than words. i dont care for the movie american hisotry x because most of it is very racist and violent, but the MESSAGE of the movie shows that a person can be involved in a group, live a certain way, believe certain things to the point where the inflict DEATH on someone and tattoo their entire body with racist tattoos, but then change their lives and be remorseful once they break free. its like a drug addict. if you hang around the same group of people, do not change your contact info, no matter how hard your desperately want to get sober, you wont. because you need to change your lifestyle . it is absolutely no secret that walker and diana dictate all those kids lives, everything about them, including who they married. the guys and the girls. walker worked with natalies family member, not directly but they were contacts, they met they had similar beliefes, and had $$$$$ kates family also has $$$$$$ so does everyone elce that married into that family . unless your rich and have similar lifestyle you never had a chance girls. youd have to be preapproved by mom and dad. dont you think its odd zac never had a girlfriend that was the friend of one of his brothers? marrion , kate and another girl who im not even gonna mention because honestly none of you know who she is anyway lol.

it takes all kinds of people in this world. if you like their music you like their music. half the celebrities musicians youlook up to and admire have EXTREMELY different lives behind closed doors and because you dont know about it its fine. what they do at the end of the day in private is up to them . just like what you do is up to you are you people prefect? i doubt it.”

#confession #hanson #hanson fans #zac hanson #hanson family #open letter

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teamjanaduggar · 4 years

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Meet the Radford family

I’ve been reading about the Radford family and figured some of you might be interested in them too. They’re not fundies, but they have 22 children. The mother first gave birth, just after she turned 14 and the dad was 18.

The parents

Noel Radford, born on 24 December 1970

Sue Radford, born on 22 March, 1975

I can’t seem to find Sue’s maiden name, so I’ll be on the lookout for it and will update it once I have found it. Please comment if you know her maiden name :)

The children

Christopher Radford, born on 7 May 1989

Sophie Rose Broadley, born on 13 December 1993

Chloe Anne Radford, born on 31 July 1995

Jack Richard Radford, born on 9 April 1997

Daniel Leon Radford, born on 3 March 1999

Luke James Radford, born on 1 October 2000

Millie Jo Radford, born on 29 August 2001

Katie Louise Radford, born on 14 November 2002

James Edward Radford, born on 16 October, 2003

Ellie May Radford, born on 6 May 2005

Aimee Elizabeth Radford, born on 21 April 2006

Josh Benjamin Radford, born on 3 July 2007

Max Joseph Radford, born on 11 December 2008

Tillie May Radford, born on 2 May 2010

Oscar Will Radford, born on 22 October 2011

Casper Theo Radford, born on 3 October 2012

Alfie Thomas Radford †, born on 6 July 2014

Hallie Alphia Beau Radford, born on 3 June 2015

Phoebe Willow Radford, 24 July 2016

Archie Rowan Radford, born on 18 September 2017

Bonnie Raye Radford, born on 6 November 2018

Heidie Rose Radford, born on 3 April 2020

Things to note:

Alfie Thomas was a still born.

Christoper is the only Radford child to have one name, Hallie Alphia Beau the only one to have three.

The family has multiple Irish twins: Luke & Millie; Katie and James; Ellie & Aimee; Oscar and Casper and Alfie & Hallie.

They have a son named Casper, and Casper from Casper the Friendly Ghost has multiple friends and supporting characters with the same name or a slightly different name as their children. Namely: Casper (Casper), Maxi (Max), Kat (Katie), James (James), Holly (Hallie), Archibald (Archie) and Ellie (Ellie).

Sue once said that her 20th child would be her last and then went on to have two more.

Bonnie Raye was born after only 12 minutes of labour.

Unlike the Duggars, they have a ten bed house.

My honest opinion: there’s no excuse for putting 22 children on this planet, it wasn’t in 1000 bc and it still isn’t in 2020.

Sources:

The Sun - https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/4513135/sue-radford-age-noel-radford-children/ (not the most reliable source but lets face it, only a trashy tabloid cares about them)

Their Wiki page - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radford_family

Casper the Friendly Ghost - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casper_the_Friendly_Ghost

#radford family #sue radford #noel radford

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pickledchickenetti · 5 years

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So I’ve had something on my mind for the last week or two that I’ve been trying to figure out how to best start a post about and coming up short. We all know that I have a tendency to be long-winded, and some of this post is going to be stream of consciousness, at least moreso than my usual longer posts, which I usually wait to start until I have a pretty solid idea of what I want to say and how I want to say it. I may go back and edit this some at the end, I may not, probably depends on how it comes out. (Edited at the end to add: I’m not editing anything. It’s long and I’m not expecting anyone to force themselves through it, but thanks to those who do!) Since this is partially me using my blog as a place to ruminate on some things, I’m going to put it under a read more for those who don’t want to have it clogging up their dashboard.

Lately I’ve had a lot of mixed feelings regarding social media and what voices and mindsets I allow to be a part of my everyday life. I put a lot of effort into carefully treading the line between taking unnecessary negativity out of my social media feeds and creating an echo chamber where I only see people who agree with me. Most of the time, the decision comes down to the tone and intent. If someone is consistently rude, angry, or condescending, with very little useful contribution to any conversation I unfollow them. This applies to people on Facebook who constantly use slurs, post hateful things about people with opposing beliefs or political stances (even if I generally agree with that person’s beliefs or stances) with little attention to facts, and it also applies to people here are just needlessly rude with no real contributions to the overall conversation.

The older I get, the more I find choosing kindness to be a priority in my life. I’m not perfect; I fully admit there are still times when I’m rude or condescending. Sometimes this is an accident, and unfortunately sometimes it isn’t. I don’t like this, and I try especially hard not to be intentionally condescending. Kindness is a choice, and progress takes time.

As I’m sure most of you know, I am often very critical of @kristagay‘s posts. I still stand by many, possibly even most, of the opinions I’ve shared. Kindness is important to me, but it’s also important to me to not let other people’s hurtful words or actions go unchecked when I have the ability to say/do something. (This applies to everyone in my radar, not just Krista.) I have very strong opinions on a number of subjects, but it’s especially important to me to speak up in defense of others in the LGBTQA community as that’s a community I belong to and those struggles are more personal to me.

A little while back, I got a string of anons (many were answered, some were deleted) that made it seem like someone was trying to create some sort of feud between me and Krista. As I said in one of the posts at that time, I was under no illusion that Krista was reading any of my posts that didn’t tag her directly, and had no interest in any sort of feud. Krista does not follow me, and in general does not seem to interact much on Tumblr beyond asks to her and posts she is directly tagged in (or reblogs/comments on her posts of course). I would likely be the same way if I stumbled onto a community of people discussing every little detail of people I was friends with in real life. I would want to set the record straight and defend my friends while also respecting their privacy, and as a result I doubt I’d interact much anyway. I respect her choice to not discuss them at all, even the things seen on TV, and hope she will continue to make that choice no matter how annoying people asking her for info might get. (And to Pickles and anyone else who has crossed the line and sent her intentionally inflammatory messages/questions about the Duggars or hate for the sake of hate, please kindly delete your accounts and learn how to interact with actual humans in a respectful way.)

When I got the string of anons asking me about Krista, I took a step back and tried to objectively examine why I followed Krista, why I continued to devote energy in responding to her posts, and if it was worth my time and emotional energy to continue doing so. The difference I found between Krista’s posts, which do often frustrate me, and posts from others who I have chosen to unfollow and/or block is the intent and context behind the posts.

At the end of the day, Krista and I are very similar. We were both raised in very conservative families/churches, who had different plans for us than the lives we’ve chosen to pursue. We’ve both come to believe differently about God than the churches we were raised in. And we both know what it’s like to have to keep up appearances, especially online, in order to not destroy (or majorly hurt) relationships with people in our lives offline who it’s still important to maintain a relationship with.

There are a couple big differences between us. First of all, I’m gay. I came to believe differently than the church I was raised in largely because I’ve had to just to be who I am and not feel depressed and suicidal all the time. When you grow up gay in a conservative family, life gives you two choices: shut off who you are and spend your life convincing yourself you are who you were told you were supposed to be or do major amounts of soul-searching to figure out who you are and how to accept yourself. When you’re already evaluating one major aspect of who you are and what you believe it becomes nearly impossible to not do that same evaluation on the other beliefs you were raised in. Because of this process, I’ve come to see a lot of hypocrisy and downright lies in the belief system I was raised in. This has pushed me into developing a pretty strong set of opinions, beliefs, and political stances that stand in stark contrast to my family and lifelong family friends.

As a cisgendered straight woman, Krista did not have this huge thing forcing her to do major soul-searching. Despite this, she has done soul-searching, and seems to still be doing it. (It’s really a lifelong process, after all.) She has stepped out into a world that she likely didn’t consider being able to live in as a little girl. She’s pursued an educational and career path that’s impressive for even women who were raised being encouraged to focus on education, so for someone in her church and belief system to get to where she is is monumental, and for that I applaud her. So while I definitely disagree with her beliefs on a number of subjects, and will continue to say so (with thoughtful responses, not just complaints) when I feel her posts call for it, I am doing my best to remember that no one was born perfect, and she is still learning just as much as the rest of us are. I’ve said many times that I really do believe her intentions are good, and I stand by that belief. She’s learning. She’s trying. She may be one of the more conservative voices in our tumblr community, but many of us have admitted we used to be worse than we are now, and she’s come a long way from who she once was too.

The other big difference between us, at least as far as tumblr goes, is that she has chosen to attach her name and face to her posts on here, and I have not. Many of you know who I am, follow me elsewhere, etc. That doesn’t change the fact that publicly, all you see is a food-based username and (currently) a photo of Jana Duggar on a boat. I share my first name, my age, and my general location. While someone who knew me offline could likely piece together my identity if they paid enough attention, I am careful to not overly-identify myself. This relative anonymity grants me the privilege of speaking freely online without worrying about offline consequences. Krista has not granted herself that same anonymity. I’m honestly a little embarrassed that I had never considered before the fact that she likely does not feel she can speak freely on Tumblr. I am very careful what I post on my other social media platforms. When my name and face are attached, I pretty much never mention LGBTQA issues for fear of outing myself and losing family members I’m not ready to lose. I don’t post about the abuses found in many Baptist churches or the lasting harmful effects I feel from my overly-religious childhood. This is partially to avoid a can of worms with a widespread ripple effect and partially out of respect for my parents and their desire to not have to defend me for believing things they don’t even agree with themselves. For Krista, the things she says here can and likely do affect her life offline, and it’s something that’s important to keep in mind when reading her posts.

I don’t say all of this to say that Krista gets a pass for hurtful things she says. We all are still accountable for the things we say, and she has chosen to put herself in the position of having to choose between saying things that will hurt her offline life, censoring herself, or staying silent. There are topics I still wish she would just address openly or not at all. But at the end of the day, she has the same right to censor herself here as I do elsewhere, and I will be trying to keep that in mind going forward. When interacting with her privately, she’s only ever proven herself to be kind and open to hearing what I have to say. In the future, I may give her the same respect I often give my offline friends where I just send her a DM to clarify her intent of a seemingly rude or hateful post instead of just calling her out publicly. We’re all learning, Krista included.

Social media, especially Tumblr, has given in to a dangerous mindset that’s often referred to as “cancel culture”. There are times when it is absolutely the right choice to “cancel” someone. Like I said at the beginning of my post, we have the right to choose what voices to allow into our feeds. We should all take advantage of that right and do what’s best for our mental health. I just think we should also be more mindful of context and intent when deciding whether or not to “cancel” someone. We all say we want young girls (and boys) in fundie communities to get out of that lifestyle and find better beliefs, but getting out doesn’t happen overnight. Many of us have the benefit of getting here after shedding many of our toxic beliefs. For those who aren’t there yet, I hope we will just remember to choose kindness and respect and do our best to be open to educating them without being hateful or derogatory.

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marshmallowsandmedicine · 5 years

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“You do not have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”

This is a little out of the norm for what I post on this blog, yet it’s a story of coming full circle - of the way that learning the practice of medicine has helped heal me. And so, I think it fits.

I grew up in a conservative Christian family and from a young age was taught about modesty. There were certain body parts that were “private” and should always be kept under wraps. Two-piece swimsuits were out of the question, along with short-shorts, tank tops, tube tops - anything that showed too much skin. My inquisitive prepubescent 9-year-old mind had a really hard time accepting this, mainly because I couldn’t fathom what my mom meant when she said that kind of clothing caused boys to have “bad thoughts.” Resentfully, I complied, inwardly wishing I could wear the same outfits “cool kids” wore.

Fast-forward to middle school and my family moved north to south, where we started attending a much more conservative, hard-line church. Now the leotards I used to wear in ballet were preached against from the pulpit. The one-piece swimsuits in my closet? Forget about it - girls and boys shouldn’t even be swimming together anyway! I knew families who wouldn’t let their kids swim even fully clothed because apparently the sopping wet wrinkly look left too little to the imagination. Necklines were high, pants had to have a certain amount of give, skirts were knee-length or longer, and shorts were really out of the question. Better just stick to capris.

By high school I fully endorsed the modesty standards of my church (mostly). I was the girl who told people they shouldn’t go to prom, the girl who read “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and absorbed the critical underlying premise of purity culture: girls’ bodies are a stumbling block. I believed that God wanted me to dress modestly, yes, but I also believed that if I didn’t, guys around me would be all but forced into objectifying me and lusting after me. The implied reason for dressing modestly was that I needed to cover up my body, which was a tantalizing piece of meat. Although I had a diverse and positive high school experience which gave me a multi-faceted identity, somewhere in the back of my mind the dangerous thought was planted, that I was my body, and my body was a sexual object - a potential cause of sin.

College was a time of struggle and obsession over body image. It was nearly 3 years of disordered eating, which although not reflected in the scale, certainly reflected in lost productivity, lost happiness, and low mental health. When things went wrong, when people didn’t like me, I assumed it was my body. I must be too fat (forget that I had always been, and still was, borderline underweight). Dropping a pound meant happiness, success - because in my mind, I was my body, and to be thin was the highest goal. Eventually, with maturity and greater self-kindness I overcame my demons and turned over a new healthier leaf, for a while.

Two years ago, I met a boy. First we were friends, then we were more. He was sweet (sometimes awkward) and deeply spiritual. As we grew closer, he became one of the few guys I had ever met who really inspired me to be better. I looked up to him. He was so disciplined, so self-controlled, and he seemed to know the Bible inside and out. At first I didn’t think I could be good enough for him, since the word on the street was that his standards were high. But somehow I made the cut and we set out on an ill-fated journey. There were warning signs along the way, but don’t we always see what we want to? 1) He had grown up going to the same conferences as the Duggars, the Institute of Basic Life Principles, led by the now-disgraced Bill Gothard (a legalistic “Christian” sleazebag accused of inappropriate relationships with young interns). 2) All the women in his family wore skirts and never wore pants. 3) He attended a tiny, exclusive church with extra-restrictive doctrines which taught that churches like mine were in “error.”

I should have read the writing on the wall.

It was a slow, insidious process. One month of being reeled in and falling in love, and then the strings came out. I’ll love you IF... There were many strings, many conditional clauses, many things I needed to change to please him, but the biggest battle was what I wore. As a clinical scribe, my daily outfit was scrubs. You’d be hard-pressed to find a more relaxed and baggy pair of pants aside from sweats or pajamas. And yet he told me, “When you move, I can see everything.” “Guys aren’t like women, we’re very visual.” “Why is it necessary to show every crack and cranny?” And in so many words, “Wearing jeans that fit is basically like wearing nothing at all.” We argued in circles. Why isn’t it a double standard that men can wear pants if pants are too form-fitting? I countered. Well, men’s bodies aren’t attractive that way, he would answer. In other words, it’s YOUR BODY that’s the PROBLEM. You are sexual and create sexual thoughts in men, just by virtue of existing and being visible.

In the end, I stood my ground. On principle, I don’t barter my integrity or views for a relationship, I don’t want love that comes with those kind of terms. But the guilt lingered. It was more than the typical breakup fallout, it was a deep sense of shame, of being not good enough, not holy enough, not modest enough. And as someone who self-identified as modest and does care about dressing decently, this cut deep. It meant spending endless hours of googling “are pants immodest” and perusing every article I could find. It was questioning my intuition. It was feeling that hot sense of anxiety and self-consciousness when I bent over or walked around clinic in my scrubs. What if I was tempting some guy to check out my butt? Who was looking? What were they thinking? I was, in short, viewing myself through the eyes of a pervert. Objectifying myself. Internalizing yet again the idea that I was a piece of meat.

***

I firmly believe in the power of a single idea. (Didn’t Inception teach us anything?) And our deepest emotional wounds are often not the result of external circumstances, but the way we choose to internally narrate the stories of our lives. Often, it is a single false premise, a pesky, faulty, misbelief that must be brought to the light, inspected, and discarded before the healing can occur. For me, one of these was the idea that I am my body, and my body is inherently sexual.

What needed to change was the way I saw the body.

Who knew that the key to this change looked like my student ID, scanning me into the cadaver lab? There I started to see the human body differently, in all its post-mortem humility and frailty, but also as an amazing intricate masterpiece of coordinated systems. I touched hearts and livers, fascia and genitalia. The bodies of our donors lay before us, totally bare. No clothes, no skin. And it was not profane, not indecent, but sacred.

This semester we were introduced to the hallowed ritual of the physical examination. We learned to become comfortable inspecting, auscultating, percussing, and palpating, and also taking off our shirts in front of our peers. Stripping away clothing, we were also chipping away at the cultural lies that tell us our bodies are inherently sexual. We learned to look with respect and touch with kindness.

Today was our final OSCE. It might seem like a small thing, but today I stood before one of my classmates, a male, in just shorts and a sports bra. This was the first time I’d ever worn so little in front of one of my male peers. And I knew in that moment, that he was not undressing me in his mind. He was looking at me through a different lens, one of respect and dignity. And in that moment, I understood once and for all. My body is not, and has never been, a problem. My body is not the reason someone catcalls or objectifies me. The issue isn’t what there is to see, but the way we choose to see it.

“Are you still so dull?” Jesus asked them. “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts — murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”

(Matthew 15:16-20)

#paschool #objectification #purityculture #mybodyisnotaproblem

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dearmrsbitch · 5 years

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January 24, 2019 - Embryo Custody for Beginners.

Q. Who gets the embryos? My wife and I had several embryos made and a failed surrogacy. My wife was suffering serious depression at the time and our marriage was struggling (we were in serious debt over the fertility treatments). We had a fight and I left. I went to a hotel and turned off my phone. She killed herself. She called me several times but never left a message. I am haunted by those missed messages.

It has been two years. Her family has been kind and never blamed me. I haven’t told anyone about the other embryos. I am paying for the storage but I am paralyzed about what to do with them. I don’t want to be a father now, but I don’t want to destroy the last bit of my wife left on earth, and I don’t know what to tell my in-laws. Giving them the embryos feels like passing the buck: “Here, take on the expense of surrogacy and raising a baby in your 60s.” Blind donation feels cruel; my in-laws deserve to know they have a grandchild in the world. I want to move on. I want to start over. I can’t with this hanging around my neck like a millstone. I don’t know what to do. Please advise.

Dear Aftermath,

Let’s start with three points.

1. What happened with your wife is not your fault. As a person who has been suicidal and suffers from depression - it is not a matter of “fault.” Depression is not rational and even if you had taken those calls, it might not have done a damn thing. That’s the nature of the disease, so you need to see a therapist pronto to get on healing yourself.

2. Depression has the potential to be genetic. That means those embryos could have the code for it.

3. Those embryos are not “grandchildren.” I know anti-choice people want to make every cluster of cells a person, but what you have are frozen clusters of cells that might not even develop into a baby - you have no guarantee of anything at all. They are simply - chances. What’s more, they are actually more likely to fail than succeed overall. Despite the high high cost of infertility treatment, you’re trying to win against the house, and your odds aren’t good.

I’m not telling you this to depress you, I’m telling you to put yourself back into a more realistic mindset about what is going on here.

You are dealing with your own guilt, and to you, disposing of the embryos is like “killing your wife for the second time.” Even though this isn’t true.

In my opinion, you should start seeing a therapist and calculate a time frame in which to safely and carefully dispose of the embryos. Like, tell the therapist you have so much money and therefore, you want to be able to get rid of them in six months and you need help to get there.

I hate to call financials into this, but you do seem to have a money crunch and putting yourself in debt, or worse, bankruptcy, over a cluster of cells, is not responsible or mature. There is no womb to accept these cells willingly without pay, and you’re already in debt, so think about what that means for you going forward.

Is it responsible to bring a child into the world if you can’t properly care for it emotionally? Financially? Physically?

Is it responsible to bring a child into the world when one of the parents is dead and didn’t consent? Your wife may have agreed in the past, but she cannot consent now and didn’t leave a legally binding document saying that she, for sure, wants you to find and pay a woman to carry these embryos to term. Maybe if she had gotten treatment she would have changed her mind - after all, I did and several people I know changed their minds after trying infertility treatments and having no success. In this moment, you do not have her explicit consent to use her cells.

Is it responsible to possibly pass on the terrible disease of depression that took your wife’s life? As someone who struggled with this choice, it figured in greatly to my decision to not have kids - because I got my depression genetically and I HATE IT. It would break me, no, shatter me, if I had a child who got my depression. The pain of watching someone suffer from what I could have prevented is too much. Even if the chance was only 25%, that is too much for me.

We focus too much in our world about what WE want. We want to have kids because we just want to have them. We brush off issues by saying stupid shit like, “Well, they could have life ending depression, but they could also get hit by a car and die at age 5! No life without risk, right?” Of course we all know this, but what it covers up that is the people who say this are usually having kids for selfish reasons and want to not acknowledge they haven’t thought about their choice. It’s the person who has a fifth kid when the fourth put a strain on them because they can or “god” wants it. It’s the person who has kid after kid hoping to get one without the genetic defect who won’t die young and painfully because “damnit, someone has to carry on the family name!” It’s the person who creates a child to assuage their own selfishness, or guilt, without considering how that child will feel.

We bred like rabbits in the past because maybe only two of ten kids would survive to adulthood, we had no medicines, someone needed to work the farm to keep the family alive, we needed to marry people off the make alliances, and fuck, because we didn’t know better.

We have an overpopulated world where most breeding people are not in a good position to do so, are not equipped, not smart enough, and don’t have the resources, and yet we put families like the Duggars on TV like their women-hating ideology and child-molesting son are held up like, “well, it’s their right to breed like rabbits, because... god and ‘merica?”

You’re not breeding a dog, you’re creating a thinking feeling human who will have more strikes against them than not when they are born. Possible depression, emotionally traumatized father, dead mother? Maybe even grandparents who will expect that child to fulfill a role they never promised to fulfill just by being born?

You, writer, need to deal with you. You have the option to tell her parents that you have the embryos and tell them you’ll give them custody, but then, that’s part you out there you’re not involved in. If you opt to co-parent with them, that’s a ton of work and you could even lose custody in the future, or gain full custody when they die without anymore help.

See a therapist and set a timeline to let the embryos be destroyed. That is the right thing to do here. A human life is not a toy to be played with to make you feel better.

No one else knows about them, and they never need to know. It’s okay to never tell them, it is not their business. They do not have the right, nor do they deserve the right. That’s why grandparents don’t have legal rights over their children until the parents are deemed not viable options.

You have my permission to end this chapter in your life and move on. As someone who had suicidal depression, I wanted nothing more than my husband to go on and live his life and be happy if I did commit suicide.

Honor her by getting help and living a great life by moving on. You’ll never forget her, and you’re not dishonoring her by living your life.

Mrs. Bitch

#dearmrsbitch #dear prudie #dear prudence #Suicide #embryos

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dfnews · 6 years

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Episode Recap of "An Explosive Reveal"

First Aired August 20, 2018

1. The show opens up in Laredo with shots of Jeremy throwing darts at a photo of Trump (I wish) and of a small barbed wire border fence that is symbolic of Jinger's cultish upbringing. She may look more free but looks can be deceiving. Jeremy has two surprises for Jinger on their first anniversary, one good and one bad. She's getting a piano and a visit from some of her family. This show is getting less and less about the boring married couples and more about how to sneak the sexual predator's parents back on. Jeremy makes the lame excuse that sneaking Jim Bob and Michelle back onto the show is because Jinger is homesick. Ummm, if this was filmed last November, their anniversary, that was only a few weeks after Jinger went home for Joseph's wedding. PLUS, Jinger was just in Arkansas taking the little girls' photo for their album where she announced her pregnancy. That must have been only days before this was filmed. It's like they think no one follows this family.

2. Jim Bob and Michelle jump on the family's big plane with most of their sons and Tyler. I guess Jim Bob has to keep an eye on his male servants. I don't know why the brothers came. They didn't even help move the piano. I'm still amazed that the media doesn't make more of a fuss about how Jim Bob has every one of his adult sons working for him. Josh, Josiah, Joseph in the family used car lot. John as the family's pilot and construction worker. Joe and Josiah also dabbling in the family real estate and house flipping businesses for their dad and Jeer, Jed and Jason also helping in all of those businesses. Not one of them in college or getting any kind of training. Jed is said to be dabbling in politics but that is also a family business venture. I just hope these young men will be able to care for themselves and a large family once the overseer is gone.

3. As JinJer go out on a date, the Duggars invade their little house snooping into everything. Jeremy digs into his dish and dishes out compliments to an insecure Jinger. I really hope the side he shows on TV is the same as in real life. He just seems kind of slick to me. Back at JinJer's house the guys and Michelle sneak into the bedroom where a long cable cord is hanging down the wall and attached to a cable box sitting on the floor. It looks like Jeremy removed a TV from the wall. Can't be caught by the cameras having a TV in your bedroom after Jim Bob and Michelle spent years preaching about the hazards of TV watching. Jim Bob whispers, "Don't squeak the bed." to the boys and I feel dirty. JinJer arrive at home. Jinger is led to her surprise new piano that she picked out herself in an earlier episode. I'm pretty sure she knew she would get it because she knows how TLC gifting goes. Jinger acts all appreciative like Jeremy actually bought the piano but we all know he can't afford that on a small town pastor's tithing lifestyle. Then the second surprise pops up and Jinger meets her family again like it's been years instead of days. Jinger is a better actress than I ever dreamed. She cries her eyes out as she hugs Michelle. What the heck? It's actually pretty concerning how she acts when seeing her parents after only a short time away. Is Jeremy treating her okay? Michelle says she cried too but I think she was just faking it as she usually does. Luckily, Jim Bob says they're there for a short time. I hope they left that night and allowed the anniversary birds to have some privacy that night but I bet Jim Bob slept in JinJer's bed as the lovebirds napped on the piano stool.

4. JoyStin assemble a crib and get the baby's room ready. Good to see they bought their own instead of using a chewed up Duggar crib. Austin is offended by instruction manuals. Joe agrees. He'd rather just look at the pictures and Kendra chimes in with a hilarious, "He doesn't like to read." Ain't that true. I've never seen a Duggar man with a book other than the Bible and I know they can't read that right. Jessa says she's a stereotypical man in that she throws away the manual and Ben reads it. Good for gender breaking, Seewalds! I've learned through too many mistakes to read the manual with a fine tooth comb because I AIN'T DOING IT TWICE! Joy teases Austin about his building skills and they talk about not knowing the sex of the baby. I'm glad they broke the mold in that area of not wanting to know. Most Duggars want to know so they can begin gender stereotyping before the child even takes its first breath.

5. Oh, geez...they didn't go home. They did sleep on the piano bench. Michelle and Jinger discuss food aversions. Jinger says she had an aversion to the smell of coffee but I think she actually was going through caffeine withdrawal. Jinger was totally addicted for years. Jinger mentions using the birth center in San Antonio which is a two and a half hour drive. They decided on that pretty early in the pregnancy. In the meantime, the Duggar boys and Jeremy go grocery shopping in order to buy the ingredients of some infamous Duggar meals they want Jeremy to try. Poor Jeremy. First up is barbecue sauce and tuna fish sandwiches. I actually tried this once. Just a small bite and I give it a thumbs down. Jeremy tries it and says he likes it but we don't see him take more than one bite and he has a drink in his hand pretty quickly after that. Jim Bob jokes about never having had to cook before when he starts to help in the making of tater tot casserole. Many men love to cook but Jim Bob thinks the job is only for girls. He's missed out on a great joy in life by being a sexist pig. The meal is tossed together and baked and everyone eats it, carbs and sodium overdose and all.

6. Joe and Kendra and John have an ultrasound to find out the sex of their baby. John gets the secret note from the doctor. He says the note will determine if the room will be painted pink or blue. Sigh... I always hated pink and I'm a girl. What the hell does a color have to do with anything?

7. Josiah walks out of daddy's house, gets in a daddy owned car and goes to the home of a girl daddy picked out. He's going to formally ask for Lauren's hand. He's a grown man why does he need to ask....oh yeah, he doesn't own anything of his own so I guess that means he's not quite a grown man yet. Dwain has three questions for Josiah. 1. Does he know Lauren's love language? I'm guessing this was a slide show presentation at homechurch that they recently had. Si says he does. 2. Don't go to be with wrath. Will Josiah be diligent to not wrath in bed? He says he won't. He had a lot of practice with his siblings. 3. What are your plans as far as life's work? Si says, to continue working for daddy. So no real plans except to slave for the master. He better hope the economy holds up. Businesses can fall mighty quickly. Dwain gives his blessing of course. Maybe Josiah can go work for Dwain and his business. Dwain has the better house and property.

8. Another party at the Duggar house. It's sex reveal day for JoKen's baby. The boys are back in town because this happened months later in February. John sets up a powder target in the shooting fields they own across the street from the penitentiary. He will shoot a box and send blue powder flying. I hope the fetus was wearing ear protection. Blue powder flies. It's a boy named Garrett David. Jill and Derick are hidden in this scene but Jim Bob is holding Izzy. Derick!!! You said you wouldn't allow your family to participate in the show anymore. Liar!

That's it. Nothing new. Anniversaries, babies, engagements, bad food and trapped kidults. Next week, more of the same. Unless there is another scandal to break up the boredom. Please let there be another scandal!

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dracotrash · 6 years

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Happy Pride y’all.

this year has really been me coming into my own when it comes to my bisexuality. I’d always been aware of it for as long as I can remember but being raised conservative Christian on the level of the Duggar kids I repressed it for many years. It came up when I was 16 and a lot of traumatic events came from that. A girl i was best friends with and i experimented and she ended up falling in love with me. I definitely felt something. For her too but we were both very repressed and conservative her family ten times more than mine, and she eventually felt so much guilt about it that she tried to commit suicide. She thankfully did not but she confessed to her parents and then to cover her ass told them i had forced her to do it which absolutely didn’t happen. There was clear talk of consent always. That really seriously fucked me up and it’s something i still struggle with.

I then began dating a sweet boy who is also bi and my best friend now when I was 19. We were together for 3 years and very in love and I told him I was bi and he was so loving about it and helped me to learn not to blame myself for being who I was. We ended up breaking up because my anxiety was terrible and i realized as much as we loved each other my issues were so out of control I was hurting us both. It was so hard and I also was moving for graduate school. We have nearly gotten back together loads of times but we live thousands of miles apart. We will always love each other but I think it was good we didn’t work out because we both needed that time to explore who we were. We always come back to each other but he’s always my best friend before anything else.

Since then, I got involved with a boy who was very toxic but i cared for him even if it wasn’t the way he wanted. It eventually became unsafe and I had to block him which still breaks my heart because he’d been my friend for a while and I wanted to help him. This was post undergrad and part of my first year of grad school. Then I was taken advantage of by a girl at my school when I got blackout drunk for the first time after I turned her down sober and she saw I was drunk and that she had an opportunity. That really was rough because I struggle already with shame about my sexuality being raised as I was, and that whole incident made me very scared. None of my experiences with girls up to this point had been positive and I was afraid maybe I was fucked up, or i didn’t really like girls and was just pretending. I didn’t know how to interact with women I found attractive or know when they were flirting (still working on that)

This year, I was determined to allow myself to explore my attraction to women too, particularly after things with a boy I had become close to in graduate school didn’t work out. I went out with one girl a few times which was fun, fell for a girl in my a cappella group who led me on even though we didn’t end up dating, and then on total accident ended up dating this other girl from the group that I had crushed on from afar for a while and didn’t realize she was even interested. I drunkenly told her at a party and we went on a date shortly after. We have been seeing each other ever since April.

It’s tough because my parents don’t know I’m bi. They’d never disown me but it wouldn’t be a happy convo. I’ve learned so much about myself and finally accept my bisexuality in full and don’t feel guilt over it. I can’t be openly out because my music job is in a church and i want to be careful, but all my friends know and that is enough for me. Idk….I just wanted to write this out for myself to see how I’ve changed. It’s amazing where I’ve come from. I was in such a dark place with this for a long time.

Please remember that you are NOT alone. My inbox is open to all of you any time to talk to listen. So many people did that for me and I want to help in any way i can. Much love. 💕

#personal #bisexuality #gay pride #gaypride2018

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helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog · 6 years

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Joel Taylor, Star of Discovery Channel's 'Storm Chasers,' Dead at 38

Joel Taylor, best known as one of the stars from Discovery Channel's documentary reality series, Storm Chasers, died suddenly on Tuesday. He was 38. The network confirmed the news to ET on Wednesday, releasing the following statement: "We are so saddened to hear about Joel's passing. We will always remember him fondly as an incredible meteorologist and driver of The Dominator. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends at this difficult time." Although the cause of death has yet to be determined, Richard L. Duggar II of the Martin-Duggar funeral home told ET on behalf of the family that Taylor died while on a cruise. "We ask for your understanding during this difficult time, and your respect for the family while they deal with the loss of their son," a statement from the funeral home reads. According to The Washington Post, Taylor studied meteorology at the University of Oklahoma. As a student at the university, he chased the infamous Moore tornado of May 3, 1999, which caused more than $1 billion in damage and killed 36 people. Winds in that storm were clocked at 301 mph, the highest recorded on Earth. Shortly after the tragic news broke, friends of the Elk City, Oklahoma, native took to Twitter to share their condolences. "RIP my best friend and storm chasing partner, Joel Taylor," Taylor's former co-star, meteorologist Reed Timmer, wrote. "I am shocked and absolutely devastated by the loss of my incredible, caring friend." "We chased so many intense storms, and I wish we could have just one more storm chase," he added. "I'll miss you forever, Joel. We lost a legend."

RIP my best friend and storm chasing partner, Joel Taylor. I am shocked and absolutely devastated by the loss of my incredible, caring friend. We chased so many intense storms, and I wish we could have just one more storm chase. I'll miss you forever, Joel. We lost a legend pic.twitter.com/htN45t8wik

— Reed Timmer (@ReedTimmerAccu) January 24, 2018

Timmer also shared a few pics and videos of his pal "doing what he loved" most: "#stormchasing."

Photos of Joel doing what he loved #stormchasingpic.twitter.com/VHO7i4j2Xn

— Reed Timmer (@ReedTimmerAccu) January 24, 2018

Here is video of one of Joel's many tornado intercepts, but this one from May 29, 2001 when just 21 in the TX Panhandle. Incredible natural instinct chasing tornadoes and reading the sky. No one better at dominating back roads behind the wheel https://t.co/wIx1AUDKng

— Reed Timmer (@ReedTimmerAccu) January 24, 2018

See more tributes from his fans and friends below:

The weather world is a little darker tonight. #RIP Joel Taylor. pic.twitter.com/506UrSnIr1

— RobertHahnVNL (@RobertHahnVNL) January 24, 2018

I was lucky enough to meet Joel a few years ago at Reed’s wedding. He was so kind to me and we got to hang out for a bit during those few days. I snapped this photo of him and that just seemed like who he was. A huge smile. RIP Joel Taylor…you will be so missed. pic.twitter.com/mZI5eHzhKG

— Mike Olbinski (@MikeOlbinski) January 24, 2018

I’m heartbroken to hear of the passing of Joel Taylor. My heart goes out to his parents. Long before his Discovery fame, Joel and his parents accompanied us on a trip to Hawaii while we taped our show Atmosphere’s. His passion for tornadoes was infectioushttps://t.co/tXUiUF5aUo

— Jim Cantore (@JimCantore) January 24, 2018

An entire generation of meteorologists and storm chasers grew up on and were inspired by the actions of Joel Taylor. May his spirit carry on in them and may he rest in peace.

— Nolan Meister (@Nolan_Meister) January 24, 2018

Wow. Shocked. Rip Joel Taylor. Forever a storm chaser legend and a personal idol. Chaser community lost a good one

— Ryan Darr (@_Radarr) January 24, 2018

Another great chaser gone too soon. We are deeply saddened to hear that Joel Taylor, a person who had a huge passion for storm chasing, has passed away at the age of 38. Please keep his family in your prayers. #chaseon

— Echo Top Chasers (@EchoTopChasers) January 24, 2018

Horrible to hear that we've lost Joel Taylor today. One of the kindest chasers I've met - he was more than happy to take a picture with a star-struck nerd back in 2014. He will be missed. pic.twitter.com/vm1HCvuBAS

— Sean Ernst (@Sean_Ernst_Wx) January 24, 2018

Terrible news in the weather community tonight. RIP Joel Taylor. A great guy who will be sorely missed.

— Chris McBee (@McBeeWX) January 24, 2018

#_revsp:new_provider_with_logo_342 #_uuid:092c34b3-66af-3c8e-bf0e-e9e921ddbbdd #_lmsid:a0VK0000001yfWcMAI

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fly-like-a-grayson · 7 years

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New in Town Pt. 1 (Connor Murphy x Reader)

A/N: This us gonna be a series. It’s going to have all the DEH characters, but the like relationship part will be focused on Connor and the reader. Also, an apology if Connor is OOC, this is my first time writing him. Oh aaaaand I got the title from John Mulaney and I’m done rambling. Thank you for reading!

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Make friends, it will be fun. New town, new school, new people. It’s a great opportunity.

Your mom’s words echoed through your head as you walked into the highschool of your new town. What a lovely way to spend your senior year, in a new town halfway across the country from your old home. But hey, you were an optimistic person, so maybe you should listen to your mom. Maybe one friend will change how the rest of the year will turn out. Maybe you can change someone’s year and tell your children one day that you helped someone for the better. Or maybe you were just being too ambitious.

Plus, how would you find people with interests like yours? You weren’t exactly hip with the kids, as your mom put it. Weird trivia and pieces of information were your forte. You were a knowledge sponge, but not like academic. You could tell someone how many types of lettuce there are, how many countries in Africa, how big each of the great lakes were. Weird stuff that meant almost nothing to anyone else, but everything to you. You were lucky enough to find a small group of friends who dealt with your random facts and actually listened when you would go on a tangent. How would you find that here? You had to find that group of weirdos where everyone in that group was just a little gay, some way more than others.

You decided on one person, you would approach one person as yourself and if that was a complete fail, you would try to fit in. But the real question was who, who would you subject to the torture of knowing the real you? Maybe that girl with the guitar case, oh wait, she’s in the band at school. Aren’t band kids like a close knit group? No doubt she would tell her friends about the weirdo she met before school started. Maybe the kid with the cast and the blue striped polo? He looked like he was an easy person to talk to, but just then some dude with glasses started talking to him and the poor kid looked like he was about to explode. Maybe your personality was a bit too much for him, and he wasn’t alone anymore. You had to talk to someone who was alone, didn’t need to embarrass yourself in front of two people, now did ya?

As your eyes scanned over the crowd, like Terminator, they landed on some kid walking out of the school building. Why would he be walking out of the school 5 minutes before the bell? Maybe you should go and find out? So, that’s what you did. You fast walked to the person as he turned the corner to the side of the school. When you got there, they were smoking a cigarette, that has to not be allowed. But the calmness of him made you assume he really didn’t care. Now that you were closer to him, you could actually get a look at him. He had fair skin and fluffy looking brown hair. Oh, and his nails were painted black. Nail polish! That can be your opening topic, ask him about what nail polish he uses! It’s genius!

So, you took a deep breath and walked over to him. He didn’t seem to notice your presence, so you decided to clear your throat. He flinched and looked at you with a slightly angry face, but you thought nothing of it. Maybe he just had RBF or something. After a few beats of silence, that’s when you went in with your question, “What kind of nail polish are you wearing?”. He didn’t respond, just kinda stared at you.

Realizing you weren’t going to get an answer, you pressed on, “Is it Wet N’ Wild’s Black Creme? It’s cheap and you don’t seem like the kind of person to spend a lot of money on nail polish. Not to say that you look cheap, it’s just… well, maybe you don’t mind splurging on nail polish. So maybe it’s like OPI’s Black Onyx, but that’s still only like 5 dollars, or maybe it’s 8. I guess it depends on where you go, tax and if you have coupons. Do they make you pay more in each state? I’ve never done that, but I also don’t travel a lot. I have a big family so it’s hard for all of us to go somewhere enjoyable-”

“Do you know how to shut the hell up?”, he interrupted you.

Oh crap, you screwed it up. Maybe you should try to fix it, how do you fix it? Don’t say anything yet, you gotta think this over. Be precise with your words and you’ll be fine, “My brother says I don’t know how to, he might be right. Judging by this conversation, he is right. My mom says not to listen to everything he says because he isn’t really a good person, but he’s alright by me. And-”

He cut you off again, “Look, I’m trying to smoke here and you’re fucking it up for me.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry.”, you stuttered out, “I’m just new and stuff and I wanted to talk to someone and you seemed nice and I guess it was my fault to assume and I’m sorry.”

“Oh, you’re new? Couldn’t tell,“, his voice was laced with sarcasm, “Word of advice kid, if you want friends at this school, stay away from me. I’m a freak and the moment someone sees you talking to me, they’ll dispel you.”

You huffed, he didn’t seem bad, he was just annoyed with you. Not like that’s anything new. But an idea popped into your head. You placed your backpack on the ground and rustled through it, looking for a blank piece of paper and a pen, or any writing utensil.Once you had found it, you then tried to find a place to write. You chose to write on the dark brick wall, which caused your writing to come out sloppy. You read over it to make sure the boy could read it. You were satisfied with it, so you gave it to him. He reluctantly skimmed the paper before crumbling it and speed walking away.

What was it? You didn’t put anything rude in the note, right? All it said was that by writing on the note you weren’t technically talking to him and that you wanted to know his name. Guess he wasn’t one for loopholes, oh well. You can’t win them all, or in your case can’t get everyone to like you. Guess the universe didn’t want you and that kid to be friends. You sighed as you made your way to your first class of the day, psychics. Not your favorite, but you can’t control what classes you take. Your mom controls all of that. Not that she’s controlling or anything, you’re just so indecisive that you wouldn’t get the forms done until the next school year.

Anyways, you made your way to your classroom, silently hoping to see that boy again. As fate would have it, you and that boy had the same first period. He had an empty seat next to him, but you still wanted to play it casual, not that you could be casual anymore. You kinda ruined that chance when you rambled about nail polish to him. Oh well, you still decided to sit in a chair close to his but far enough away to make it seem like you didn’t care he was sitting behind you. He still didn’t notice your presence, that carelessness will get him hurt one day. Like he’ll fall down of something, not get hit by a bus.

The bell blared, signifying that the first class was going to start. Your teacher, who had on a smile ear to ear, walked to the front of the class and told everyone to get in their seats. Then the dreaded thing happened, “We are blessed enough to have a new student in our midst. Y/N Y/L/N, would you please stand up for the class.”

Well, who were you to say no to this lovely lady who wanted you to stand up in a room of judgemental teenagers! But, you knew you had no choice, so you did as she requested. You slowly rose from your seating position as all heads turned to you, oh great.

“Ms. Y/L/N, would you like to introduce yourself to the class?”, she asked, but again it was another demand.

You mulled over what you were going to say for a moment, until your mouth started to pour out words again, “My name is Y/N, but all of you already know that. I moved here, but you all know that anyway. There’’s nothing extraordinary to say, I have a large family. We aren’t like the size of the Duggars but there’s a lot of us. My mom says she loves all of us but sometimes I think she doesn’t like the oldest of my family. She loves the younger children, but that’s common for families. I understand it though, I like my younger siblings more than my… older… ones.”, you trailed on until you noticed that some girls were snickering at you. Your face burned bright red as you slowly sat back down.

The teacher smiled just as brightly as before, “Welcome to our school, Ms. Y/L/N.”

The rest of the class period went by in a daze. You still felt the embarrassment of before surrounding you. You met one person and scared them off and managed to be laughed at all in 20 minutes. Wow, this school year is going to be great.

#dear evan hansen #dear even hansen the musical #dear evan hansen imagine #dear evan hansen x reader #deh #deh imagine #deh x reader #connor murphy #connor murphy imagine #connor murphy x reader #mike faist #mike faist x reader #mike faist imagine

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keepingupwithfundies · 6 years

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Pickle’s “Sam’s” Q&A

Take it with a huge grain of salt please!! We know nothing about the validity of that person. (Annie)

"Why do you believe Jana hasn’t been married off yet? When will her time come?”

I think she hasn’t been married because she hasn’t wanted to yet. To a degree, I think some of the kids have autonomy and choices as far as their spouses are concerned (more so the boys than the girls, but still). Jana’s always been super needed at home, and I think she might prioritize that over marriage (can you imagine the family without her?).

“Lets talk about Amy and her mom Deanna. Did Amy use the Duggar name? When did her folks get married? Are they still together? Is Deanna in the “cult”?? Does she go to whatever church JimBob is fronting??”

Amy wasn’t around a whole lot that I remember in the years I was attending the church. She did go by Duggar. I knew even less of Deanna, but while they’re Christians, they’re not the same brand as the Duggars and don’t follow all (if even many) of the same beliefs. Less conservative and all that. To my knowledge, at least back then, they didn’t attend the church unless they were visiting.

“Was all the strife between the Holts and Duggars about Josh? Did those in the church take sides? How much did the Duggars keep in contact with former church members? And lastly, were a lot of other church members believers in Gothard as well?”

I think it was partly about Josh, partly because Jim Holt and Jim Bob had a power struggle. The church did take sides, and families chose leaders. The Holts started having separate services at their home. The Duggars kept in semi-contact, and I think despite the rift they still attempted to maintain some kind of friendship. But it was never the same. Almost all, if not all, of the other church members were pretty staunch Gothardites, following his material and teachings and attending Gothard seminars, reading books by him and his people.

“Did you see any personality changes back then once the girls “learned” what happened to them and do they fully understand what happened or was it sugar coated?”

I was young at the time, and didn’t fully understand what was going on until later—couldn’t make sense of what I saw and heard at the time. I think it was heavily sugar coated, for sure, but the girls knew what was happening was at least violating. I remember seeing them sobbing for seemingly no reason, being upset around Josh, etc.

“How much parenting did Michelle do during that time? Did you ever see her break her voice/tone from her soft sweet stuff she shows the cameras? Were the boys ever expected to do things around the house?”

Let me put it this way: children in that church took care of the other children, even if they weren’t in the same family. If there was a baby who needed to eat and didn’t have a spare sibling, someone else’s older (female) child was expected to step in and help out. Changing diapers, feeding, general babysitting, the works. I never saw her break her tone…that was the way she talked all the time. The boys had general chores just like the boys, not that they ever got done. The bathrooms and kitchen and living areas were always disgusting.

“Is there a fundy underground, however small?”

Not that I know of. I’m only aware of myself and a small handful of others that have gotten out. In general, if you were born and raised in it, you kinda stick in it. It’s safer that way.

“I would like to know why no one has a job?”

Self employment was extremely encouraged, even expected. I’m not sure why? College educations, particularly for women, weren’t a good idea (my parents absolutely forbade it), so professional lines of work were sort of out-of-bounds. Plus, there’s all the temptations that come with the secular world.

“When someone (like yourself) leaves the cult for good is he/she allowed to visit their family?”

Depends on the family and who wants to be sympathetic and why they left and what sort of lifestyle the ex-cult member lives now. Oftentimes they’re considered a bad influence on the rest of the kids, so contact is limited or removed. I have no contact with anyone from my upbringing because I feel safer, but I highly doubt they would welcome me back now.

“Was Josh molested and he repeated the acts?”

I think it’s possible, but more likely he was probably exposed to pornography at a really young age by someone. I can think of a few people who could fall into a suspect category of abusers when he was young.

“Were the girls forced to forgive Josh and still spend time with him?”

I think they genuinely thought they were forgiving him and didn’t recognize (and also weren’t shown) the gravity of the situation. He was their brother, and they loved him. I think they lived in a lot of unexplained fear growing up. Like most of us did.

“Please describe how a ‘confession’ comes about.”

There were multiple meetings where they sent the children out of the house so they could discuss the situation with Josh. I think that’s likely where the confessing happened. I was a child, and therefore not privy to those discussions, but I overheard my parents and some of the other adults talking about it. Later, Josh was humiliated in front of the church; the adults already knew what he did, so they didn’t really rehash the specifics. He cried, several other people cried, his victims cried, and then there was a climactic moment when he was told he was going to have his head shaved or they would shave the head of one of his victim’s. Then he was told he was going to be sent away to work. It was horrible and scary and I hate thinking about it. Josh did terrible things, but at that moment he looked very broken.

“If girls were caught ‘breaking rules’ what was their punishment like?”

To be perfectly honest, I don’t really remember the Duggar girls ever breaking rules. I’m sure they did at some point, but they were “angelic” as far as behavior. I could speak for other members of the church, including my own family, but I don’t want to disclose that information at this time.

“Were the daughters seen as ‘damaged’ after the molestation scandal and did this impact their marriage chances within IBLP circles?”

No. No one ever talked about it, and the girls weren’t treated any differently after it broke.

“Were the older girls ever abusive to their younger siblings?”

Jessa was mean; I never liked Jessa, and wanted to steer clear of her. She scared me, and most of her younger siblings were scared of her. Jana could also be a bit stern and quick to punish, but then again all of them were supposed to be mothers to a whole host of children. That’s a huge burden to place on any adolescent or teenager.

“How did Sam get away from that lifestyle?”

By walking away and disappearing as best as I could. It’s still a struggle to recover from the abuse and spiritual mistreatment, and most days I wake up in disbelief that it ever happened.

“To what extent are children “betrothed/promised” to one another?”

It’s extremely common in those circles. Typically the father of a boy talks to the father of a girl and they work out an arrangement. A lot of times the boy does initiate some interest and discusses it with his dad first, but the girl rarely has a say and is pressured to accept her father’s choices.

“I’m wondering how the family was doing financially during those years.”

They were poor—until they built their big house. Then suddenly it changed. They could afford toilet paper now. But yeah, every Sunday when they held church, every family brought all the food they could so everyone could eat together, then leftovers were distributed. We all shopped at Goodwill and ALDI and pinched pennies. The poverty was real until the TV money started coming in, and then suddenly they were showing off a pantry like a grocery store to the rest of us and offering everyone extra food to take home that was donated by sponsored companies “before it spoiled” because there was so much of it.

“Can you describe what the home church services were like?”

We sang songs from hymnals they kept in the kitchen cabinets (so many hymnals!) that were accompanied by Jana playing on the piano. Classic hymns, never anything contemporary. Requests were shouted out by kids and adults alike. Sometimes there was a music special, but always there was one song in particular that all of the children would sing every Sunday morning. Then we had prayer time where requests were shared, and that was followed by watching a video seminar. I don’t remember ever taking Communion (I feel as if that was frowned upon, but can’t recall), but the service would be followed by a communal meal they called Fellowship.

“Are you aware of any sexual abuse of the boys in the church?”

I am, but not of the Duggar boys. It existed.

“I have heard that Jana ran away a couple of times, and she was rebellious.”

Absolutely not. Jana was (and still seems to be) one of if not the most loyal of the bunch.

“Did things get weird? People speaking in tongues? People with blankets to catch holy rollers as they fell backwards?”

Anything related to the gift of tongues, prophecy, or non-Baptist tradition was considered heretical. What got weird was punishing children in the middle of a service, women being constantly pregnant, husbands humiliating their wives and kids, and myself and other young people being preyed upon by elders.

“It has been suggested at times that the oldest daughter “belongs” to the father. Is that true in the IBLP?”

All of the daughters belong to the father. If you’re referring to Jana specifically, I wouldn’t say it’s just her. All of the daughters in their family and others were subject to their dad’s decisions. It was common to make vows to fathers as teens to stay pure and obey him always (similar to wedding vows) sometimes with a purity ring. I don’t think the Duggars quite did that tradition, but my family and many others did. My father gave his daughters a ring after a “proposal” where he asked them to remain virgins until he gave them away. Usually around 13. Creepy stuff.

“Was Anna’s family really made aware of Josh’s past?”

Yes. And no, that didn’t matter. He’d been “forgiven” by God and his family, so of course he wouldn’t sin again…especially if he had himself a wife to play with instead of children.

“How old was Jana when her parents made that arrangement/when it was canceled?”

I think around 2008.

“What does Sam think of the Jana/Laura rumors?”

Pretty ridiculous to me. Jana and Laura aren’t having a secret fling, in my opinion. LGBT+ members did come out of that church (including myself) but that would be far too obvious for them to carry it on.

“Why doesn’t Jana just leave?”

I don’t think she wants to. I think she’s semi-happy there, at least, to the extent of her knowledge of happiness. It’s her world. Leaving—coming from someone who did it—is absolutely terrifying.

“Are any of them secret atheists?”

The church was so fear-based about the afterlife being determined by present choices that I found myself as a child asking Jesus to save me every single Sunday. I still have a hard time even being an agnostic because of what was beaten into me. So I doubt it. It’s hard to disbelieve when the stakes are set so high.

“Did Josh’s abuse of his sisters continue when they moved into the big house?”

I think it mostly became a porn issue at that point. But it's possible. I think it was still an issue even then.

“Have you ever seen an example of an unwed woman getting pregnant?”

No, but my parents suspected one of the members in my family of getting pregnant (quite irrationally) and hell broke loose at the suspicion. It likely wouldn’t have gone over well and probably would have ended with that person being turned away (much like Anna’s sister).

“What was John David like?”

He was a shy, awkward, friendly-enough strange kid. Likable by everyone, obedient, humble, hard-working. I think he’s a good person, if misguided by his upbringing.

“Are you pursuing a formal, structured education or a trade? Will you raise your children differently than you were raised? Are you still a member of the same “church fellowship” as the Duggars?”

I am not pursuing further education at this time, though I have plans to. I’m supporting myself in a successful career and doing pretty well independently. I will raise my children VERY differently, without religion as a factor. I am not a member of the same church, I am not in the same area, and I have no plans to return to Christianity, at least staunchly, or in that branch. It is toxic and abusive. It is vile to me.

“How are the kids with the protruding stomachs now?”

I looked them up the other day. I think their family moved away, and it seems like their kids aren’t as involved in the cult anymore. They seem to be doing well. I’m happy for them.

“Did Sam ever go to ALERT or one of the family conferences?”

No, I didn’t. My family didn’t travel much.

“Were you able to have genuine friendships with the Duggar children in that environment or was there still a lot of isolation and privacy?”

I did have genuine friendships with the Duggar children; I even developed feelings for one of them as a young teenager that I thought were reciprocated (and may have been, we weren’t allowed to talk about that). We didn’t discuss the abuse because we didn’t consider anything abusive. We looked up to our parents (and feared them).

“Did Sam ever meet someone from the cult who cooked without using cans?”

Nope. We were all raised on cans. And speaking of cooking — Jim Bob’s BBQ tuna, or whatever that nasty stuff is, is absolutely disgusting. I’ve tried it. Hash brown casserole is gross too. It’s all gross. Ugh. I love eating real food now.

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