Hi Daniella!, Can I ask for a fem!reader for Conor Murphy, in which the reader has a big family with a couple of brothers and sisters (she is the oldest) and she wants to introduce Connor to them, but my poor Con is very insecure about it ?. If you don't fell like doing it is totally fine, take care ❤
Nela
open your eyes
pairing: connor murphy x fem!reader
summary: connor is finally comfortable to be himself in your relationship when you decide it’s time for him to meet your big family
warnings: slight angst, mentions of mental health struggles, bullying, and insecurity (because it’s Connor)
reader pronouns: she/her (by request)
word count: 1.8k
*✧ deh masterlist | main masterlist | ask | taglist ✧*
Connor Murphy was in love with you. But then again, he’d never really had any other option. You weren’t the type to give up on anyone, and once you’d decided that you would be friends with Connor Murphy, well, the boy didn’t stand a chance.
He’d fallen for you slowly, ever careful with his fragile heart. Had done everything that he could to deter you. He’d put on a tough facade, determined to not fall for those doe eyes of yours, but his walls had started to crumble from the first moment he heard your sweet voice.
It had been your first day of school, a year ago or thereabouts, and he had been grabbing books out of his locker when he’d heard confident steps approaching him. He’d flinched, used to being grabbed and shoved against lockers, or shoved to the ground, books toppling around him. High schoolers were not kind. His nervous system relaxed, however, when he’d seen you looking up at him, shoulders back, with a determined smile on your face. “Hi, I’m new here and-”
“I can tell.”
“Oh! Right, sorry.” You smiled, shaking off his rude interruption. “I’m y/n, it’s my first day and I was wondering if you could tell me where room 416 is?”
He rolled his eyes, painful as it was to treat such adorableness with displeasure. Still, he couldn’t let anyone in. Not when he’d been hurt too many times before. “Look, what I mean is I can tell you’re new here because no one speaks to me unless they’re looking for trouble. But, if it gets you out of my hair, it’s down the hall, to your left, and then your third right. Got it?”
You nodded, smiling up at him as he turned back to his locker. “Thank you…uh…”
He sighed, closing his locker door and turning to you. “It’s Connor.”
“Oh, well thank you Connor, I-”
Your voice had paused as he turned and walked down the hallway in the opposite direction. That hadn’t stopped you though. “I hope you have a great day!”
It would take him months to tell you, but as he walked away from you that day, a small smile spread across his face at your kind words. He told himself not to think anything of it, but figured as he’d probably never see you again, he could allow himself to enjoy that small moment of kindness. It was a rare occurrence for him after all.
Until it wasn’t. A few days later, he was sitting alone in the cafeteria when a lunch tray appeared next to him. Again, he flinched at the sound of it hitting the table, used to being approached by bullies intending to threaten him or tease him about…existing…he figured. But again, he’d been surprised when those increasingly familiar doe eyes looked up at him. “Hi Connor, it’s uh, y/n? We met the other day. I just wanted to say thank you for helping me find my class. It’s nice to have a friend, this school is bigger than I imagined.”
He was flabbergasted. A beautiful girl kept approaching him, and had now decided that they were friends? After a miniscule interaction? He had to be dreaming. These kinds of things didn’t happen to guys like him. And yet there you were, awaiting his response patiently while he sat there like a moron staring blankly back at you. Nice one Connor. He laughed as he thought back to how awkward he’d been.
“People don’t usually sit with me.”
Somehow emboldened by his words, you shuffled closer. He felt his walls begin to crumble. “Well there’s always a first!”
He stared at you before coughing himself into action, he figured he should at least give talking to you a go. “How, uh- How was your first day anyway?”
Your mouth broke into a warm smile. Crumble. “It was alright, a bit lonely, people don’t seem to want to give new people a chance here, but-”
“Oh, they don’t give anyone that isn’t a part of their cliques a chance, don’t take it personally.”
“Thanks Connor,” Those doe eyes met his cautious irises. Crumble. “So how’s your day?”
He grimaced then, not used to people asking him about himself. He took a deep breath and gave his best attempt at a smile. “It’s, uh- okay? I don’t usually have someone to talk to about my day so I’m not really sure what to say.”
You frowned at him, which, against his better judgement, caused a deep laugh to emerge from his chest. Crumble. He couldn’t help it, your concern for him was adorable. Those walls he built to keep himself safe were no match for your kind heart. “Well, here.”
You leaned down and took out a notebook and pen from your bag before writing on the page, ripping it out, and handing it to him. When he took the page from you, his hand trembled as he realised what had happened. He looked up at you with the expression of a child being given their first dose of affection. You smiled, resolute. “Now you have my number, so you can call or text to tell me about your day if you ever want to.”
He couldn’t get the smile off his face for the rest of the day, palming the page in the pocket of his hoodie whenever he needed a reminder that someone as wonderful as you actually seemed to care about him. Little did he know how your heart had soared when, an hour after school, your phone buzzed with his first message:
Hi y/n, this is Connor. Thanks for being my friend. You’re a cool person.
Followed immediately by another after as he realised that his message was a bit cold.
:)
You’d giggled the whole way home.
A year later, and you had happily been dating for eight months. It had been tough, what with Connor’s seemingly endless self-doubts and insecurities, but you were going strong. Connor had made you more considerate and thoughtful, taking extra care to stop and pay attention to the world around you, and you had made him open up, showed him that it was okay to let the world in and that not everyone was out to hurt him.
Connor was finally comfortable being himself, secure in the relationship, when you decided that it was time for your worlds to combine. Your mother had been insisting for months that she wanted to have your boyfriend over for dinner, and having seen Connor so happy lately, you figured now was as good a time as any.
You imagined it going so smoothly, with Connor melting into your arms and being so excited to meet the people that loved you as much as he did. What happened instead was that Connor stared at you wide-eyed for a moment, then stood up, mumbled something about being late for class, and left the cafeteria. Despite it being the middle of the lunch break.
Anyone else would’ve been worried but you knew Connor. He just needed a bit of time to think about things and then he would come find you and talk about it. Sure enough, he approached your locker right after the school bell rang to finish the day.
He looked at you nervously, arms folding in on themselves. “Can, uh, we talk?”
You nodded. “Of course we can, love.”
You walked to a nearby park where you often spent time, the two of you sitting down on a park bench. A group of young kids were kicking a soccer ball around between them, while others sat on swings. You looked at Connor whose gaze was locked on the group kicking the ball around in a desperate bid to avoid your eyes. “Sweetheart, what’s going on in that mind? Please let me in.”
He sighed, studying the gravel below you with his head in his hands. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to meet your family.”
Your eyebrows furrowed in concern. “And why is that?”
Running his hands through his hair, he finally looked up at you. “I’m not a..people person…like you. I mean, you remember what I was like before we were dating, I’m not good at looking at people, let alone talking to them, let alone trying to impress your family who…”
His eyes widened. “-your large family, who I’m just never going to be enough for. Your parents are already going to stress me out and you can at least hold an adult conversation with them. How am I supposed to make a good impression on your siblings? They’re kids! I’m horrible with kids.”
Just as Connor was returning to his head-in-hands-moping position, a ball landed at his feet. “Hey, pass us the ball!”
Connor slowly stood up, gently dribbling the ball between his feet before jogging over to the group and passing it to the boy that had called out. “Dude, that was some super quick footing before, do you play professionally or something?”
You watched the young boy blush, rubbing a hand behind his neck bashfully. “Haha, no!”
Connor leaned down, “You sure? With moves like that I wouldn’t be surprised if you make the big leagues with some patience and practice!”
The kid squinted up at your boyfriend, smiling excitedly, and your heart melted at the sight. Connor reached over and ruffled the boy’s hair before heading back over to you. He turned around to the boy, pointing a finger at him and calling out, “Gotta put in the hard work, alright?”
The kid nodded as Connor sat back next to you. You noted how his body language had shifted: he was more open, happier, content. At least until he remembered the conversation he had left. He sighed, “I just…they’re going to hate me.”
“Connor, hey,” You reached out an arm, noting the way he flinched before easing into your touch. It broke your heart how much pain he held inside him, despite how far he’d come. How far you both had. “They’re going to love you. You have so much heart, my love. You try so hard to be loving and kind despite all that you’re going through. How could they not love you?”
He lingered in your gaze before looking back out to the park, letting out a deep exhale. You took the opportunity to continue. “I mean, look at how you just made that little boy’s day. He’s not going to forget the guy that went up to him in the park and believed in him and his dreams. If you can do that, you can sure as hell hold a conversation with my siblings.”
He looked up at you, a glint of hope in his eye and a small smile appearing on his face. “You think?”
You smiled, “Absolutely. And besides, do you really think I’d ever let you get hurt by someone, even slightly? If my family says anything that upsets you, I’ll be right there. And I’ll give them a piece of my mind.”
He laughed and wrapped his arms around you, angling down to kiss the top of your hair. “How did I ever get lucky enough to find you?”
You smiled into his embrace, “You opened your eyes.”
a/n: hi lovely Nela! thank you for being so patient waiting for me to tackle one of your wonderful requests. I figured since you’re a bit nervous about your upcoming adventure that I would surprise you with a story to cheer you up! I hope that this is everything that you wanted it to be. thank you for always being such a wonderful friend 💜
p.s. I listened to the writing playlist you made me while writing this and I absolutely adore it 🥰
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How You and Connor Met & Started Dating [Headcannons]
a/n: hi! i know its been a while since i’ve posted but i’ve been super busy! this has been in the drafts in a while, but i’ve finally had the time to finish it! and yes, ik, shut up obviously this isn’t connor, but just pretend it is. enjoy the headcannons! sorry for the shitty ending lmao
You were a transfer student to Connor's school, as your parents had just gotten new jobs in the area your senior year.
You were in the main entrance, trying to find your way to your homeroom
You were staring at the paper in your hands when you heard an annoying voice say something really rude to someone else, whether it was a joke or not "Very school shooter chic, Connor."
You flew forward before you even realized, "You're an asshole! You don't just say things like that to people!" The boy with the long hair opened his mouth to say something, but you spoke before he could.
"Woah, who's the new kid?" The asshole replied, looking you up and down, "You another freak too? Lovely." He said before walking away
You turned back to the boy you had defended, but he had shrunken into himself. "Hey, are you-"
He flicked his head up to you and yelled at you, “I don’t need saving!”
And with that, he stormed off, leaving you alone
You were caught off guard, but weren’t too upset. He had a point, he never asked you to step in
You were only trying to be nice.
Eventually, you found your way to homeroom
You walked up to the teacher and let him know you were the new student
He sat you all the way in the back
Next to Connor
You sat in the seat and began pulling out all your supplies needed for class
Class was pretty uneventful, but you tried your best to pay attention, it was your first day, after all.
In the middle of the lesson, you felt something hit you.
You looked down the piece of paper that had hit you and you looked in the direction it came from, seeing Connor staring out the window
You opened the paper ball and smiled softly at it,
“Thanks.”
You took a pen of a different ink color and wrote a response before you threw it behind you
You didn’t look at Connor, but you could hear the crinkling of the paper
Before it could make its way back to you, the bell rang. You packed up your belongings before standing up and turning around to face Connor who was awkwardly standing there with the paper ball
“How do you know my name? Did you learn it just to see me freak out? Just so you can see Connor Murphy go crazy? Just like everyone else?” He demanded, moving frantically.
You shook your head and held your hands up defensively, “No, no. I heard that jerk use it early, You don’t have to worry about though. I just want to be friends, I promise.”
He hesitated before a scowl rested on his face, “Liar.” He walked out of the class before you chased after him and grabbed his sleeve
He stopped and looked down at you in surprise, “You’re still following me? Why?”
“Because I want to be friends, Connor! How can I convince you I’m telling you the truth?
He grimaced at you before glancing away for a moment, “What’s your name?”
“Well, my name is Y/n, but you can-”
“Your new name is dork. Where’s your next class, dork?”
He took your schedule and looked over it
“Cool. I have this next class too. Wanna walk together?”
You nodded gratefully, smiling. “I would love that.”
You could’ve sworn he had a small smile on his face before he wiped his mouth and it was gone
Connor had walked with you to your next class and made sure to sit next to you and distract you the whole period with drama about everyone, and who they were.
“The asshole from earlier was Jared Kleinman. Truly a dickhead if I’ve ever seen one.”
“I agree. I’m so sorry about earlier. You don’t deserve that.” You placed a comforting hand on Connor’s and his hand darted away from yours. He averted his gaze and you retracted your hand
After a moment of quiet, “Is it always like this for you?
You were a little nervous for the answer
“Yeah.”
You had never felt so awful for another person in your life.
“Connor, I-”
“What is this about for you? Why are you being nice to me? You have no reason to be. It’s probably because I’m just the weird-”
You obviously weren’t getting through to him, and that wasn’t his fault. This boy was so damaged and it seemed he’d never been treated well
You did the first thing you could think of and you grabbed his hand and held it with both of your hands, causing him to stop speaking halfway through his sentence
He stopped speaking and accepted your touch, not knowing how else to react,
You stayed like that the rest of class, no more words being exchanging, only your touch on one another.
The bell had eventually rung and you two had let go to put away your things
Connor had waited for you, his hands by his sides as watched put your stuff away
You stood up and shyly held out your pinky for him to hook his onto
He shyly accepted and the two of you walked to your next class
You were so grateful to have the same schedule as Connor
You had two more classes before lunch, but after them, you happily pulled the tall boy with you to a table in the corner
You placed your stuff down and grabbed his hand once again, taking him in line with you
He kept his eyes on your hands, hyper focusing on that, pretending he didn’t hear the whispers about him and you.
You heard the whispers, but ignored them. You got your food after a while before turning to Connor, “Don’t listen to those assholes. They don’t know how sweet or awesome you are.”
He offered a smile before looking down sadly and sitting in his designated spot across from you
“No, they’re right. You shouldn’t be hanging out with me, I’m a fucking freak.”
You grabbed his hand and held it tightly, “You are not a freak, Connor. Please trust me when I tell you that.” You frowned
He gave you a look, his eyes were sad and yet he had a small smile on his face, “Thank you, Y/n.”
“Thought my new name was dork, Con?”
“Oh? Already moving to a nickname for me, dork?” He teased, causing you to roll your eyes and smile
For the entirety of lunch, the two of you got to know each other. Connor told you about the bullying and how bad it could get, and you listened attentively.
You squeezed his hand tight, “You are never alone, Con. Promise. I’m always here for you.” You swore, causing him to squeeze your hand tightly
Weeks later
You and Connor had become inseparable or the last few weeks, telling each other everything, always hanging out outside of school
The Murphy’s loved you, trying to have you over as much as possible
Though, sometimes it got a little overwhelming, so you and Connor would duck into his room, or back to your house
Your family loved Connor too, they wanted him over as much as possible.
Connor had told you and your family about how bad it could get over there sometimes, so your doors were always open to him
One day though, you weren’t feeling too great because of allergies, so you decided to stay home for the day.
You shot your best friend a text, ‘not feelin’ the best. staying home td. don’t miss me 2 much lol’
Connor didn’t answer, but you were pretty sure he saw the message.
An hour or so later, there was a sharp rap on the door and you ran to it, looking out the peephole
A jittery Connor stood outside the door and you swung it open, he flew into your arms almost knocking you over
You stumbled but gained your composure, rubbing his back as you held him as close as you could
“Woah, hey, what happened?” You asked the boy
He said nothing but pulled a folded up piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to you
You unfolded it and read it quickly, gasping in surprise at the fact that the letter stated how much Evan Hansen liked Zoe Murphy, Connor’s sister.
“He just printed it out to see me freak out. He just wanted to have an excuse to tell the world CONNOR MURPHY IS A FUCKING FREAK!”
You shook your head and held his face gently in your hands, causing him to freeze and look down at you “What are you-”
“Hey, I’ve got you. Listen to me, Con, I’m sure that wasn’t what he was trying to do. Had he been trying to talk to you while you were in there?”
He went silent for a moment, “I-well, no, but--”
You gave him a look saying, “See?”
He sighed heavily and buried his face in your neck,
“I was so scared, Y/n. I was going to do something awful.”
Your face paled and your heart rate sped up
He was getting better. You knew it.
But, this was a step in the right direction.
He trusted you enough to confide in you, so he did
“Connor...What were you going to do?”
And immediately after you asked, the tall boy crumpled into your arms, causing you to frown deeply and lead the two of you towards the couch
Connor told you explicitly how he planned to wait until his whole family was out to attempt, and you couldn’t help the tears that began to spill from your eyes.
“Con, no...” You sniffed and held him close
At first he didn’t reciprocate like normal
Of course he was wary of anyone’s touch, other than yours
But this felt different somehow
It felt like there was more weight to it.
Connor nervously wrapped his arms around you and finally returned the hug
“Connor, you mean the world to me, I can’t lose you, especially when I’ve only known you for such a short time. I can’t lose you ever.”
The words rung around Connor’s head like a bell and he couldn’t stop himself from acting on his impulses
He pulled you from his shoulder and cupped your face, kissing you deeply.
Shocked, you kissed him back, your arms flying around his neck
He suddenly pulled away after a few minutes, a look of concern welded on his face, “I’m so sorry, Y/n. Fuck! You probablly think I’m some fucking weirdo creep, just like-”
You laid a hand on his cheek and his little ramble ceased,
“What I actually think, is that it’s about time.”
Taglist:
@deatheater25 @lunamadhatter99 @shenevertricks1831 @frogssincorner
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