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dreaminginpastels · 2 years

Note

Hi Daniella!, Can I ask for a fem!reader for Conor Murphy, in which the reader has a big family with a couple of brothers and sisters (she is the oldest) and she wants to introduce Connor to them, but my poor Con is very insecure about it ?. If you don't fell like doing it is totally fine, take care ❤

Nela

open your eyes

pairing: connor murphy x fem!reader

summary: connor is finally comfortable to be himself in your relationship when you decide it’s time for him to meet your big family

warnings: slight angst, mentions of mental health struggles, bullying, and insecurity (because it’s Connor)

reader pronouns: she/her (by request)

word count: 1.8k

*✧ deh masterlist | main masterlist | ask | taglist ✧*

Connor Murphy was in love with you. But then again, he’d never really had any other option. You weren’t the type to give up on anyone, and once you’d decided that you would be friends with Connor Murphy, well, the boy didn’t stand a chance.

He’d fallen for you slowly, ever careful with his fragile heart. Had done everything that he could to deter you. He’d put on a tough facade, determined to not fall for those doe eyes of yours, but his walls had started to crumble from the first moment he heard your sweet voice.

It had been your first day of school, a year ago or thereabouts, and he had been grabbing books out of his locker when he’d heard confident steps approaching him. He’d flinched, used to being grabbed and shoved against lockers, or shoved to the ground, books toppling around him. High schoolers were not kind. His nervous system relaxed, however, when he’d seen you looking up at him, shoulders back, with a determined smile on your face. “Hi, I’m new here and-”

“I can tell.”

“Oh! Right, sorry.” You smiled, shaking off his rude interruption. “I’m y/n, it’s my first day and I was wondering if you could tell me where room 416 is?”

He rolled his eyes, painful as it was to treat such adorableness with displeasure. Still, he couldn’t let anyone in. Not when he’d been hurt too many times before. “Look, what I mean is I can tell you’re new here because no one speaks to me unless they’re looking for trouble. But, if it gets you out of my hair, it’s down the hall, to your left, and then your third right. Got it?”

You nodded, smiling up at him as he turned back to his locker. “Thank you…uh…”

He sighed, closing his locker door and turning to you. “It’s Connor.”

“Oh, well thank you Connor, I-”

Your voice had paused as he turned and walked down the hallway in the opposite direction. That hadn’t stopped you though. “I hope you have a great day!”

It would take him months to tell you, but as he walked away from you that day, a small smile spread across his face at your kind words. He told himself not to think anything of it, but figured as he’d probably never see you again, he could allow himself to enjoy that small moment of kindness. It was a rare occurrence for him after all.

Until it wasn’t. A few days later, he was sitting alone in the cafeteria when a lunch tray appeared next to him. Again, he flinched at the sound of it hitting the table, used to being approached by bullies intending to threaten him or tease him about…existing…he figured. But again, he’d been surprised when those increasingly familiar doe eyes looked up at him. “Hi Connor, it’s uh, y/n? We met the other day. I just wanted to say thank you for helping me find my class. It’s nice to have a friend, this school is bigger than I imagined.”

He was flabbergasted. A beautiful girl kept approaching him, and had now decided that they were friends? After a miniscule interaction? He had to be dreaming. These kinds of things didn’t happen to guys like him. And yet there you were, awaiting his response patiently while he sat there like a moron staring blankly back at you. Nice one Connor. He laughed as he thought back to how awkward he’d been.

“People don’t usually sit with me.”

Somehow emboldened by his words, you shuffled closer. He felt his walls begin to crumble. “Well there’s always a first!”

He stared at you before coughing himself into action, he figured he should at least give talking to you a go. “How, uh- How was your first day anyway?”

Your mouth broke into a warm smile. Crumble. “It was alright, a bit lonely, people don’t seem to want to give new people a chance here, but-”

“Oh, they don’t give anyone that isn’t a part of their cliques a chance, don’t take it personally.”

“Thanks Connor,” Those doe eyes met his cautious irises. Crumble. “So how’s your day?”

He grimaced then, not used to people asking him about himself. He took a deep breath and gave his best attempt at a smile. “It’s, uh- okay? I don’t usually have someone to talk to about my day so I’m not really sure what to say.”

You frowned at him, which, against his better judgement, caused a deep laugh to emerge from his chest. Crumble. He couldn’t help it, your concern for him was adorable. Those walls he built to keep himself safe were no match for your kind heart. “Well, here.”

You leaned down and took out a notebook and pen from your bag before writing on the page, ripping it out, and handing it to him. When he took the page from you, his hand trembled as he realised what had happened. He looked up at you with the expression of a child being given their first dose of affection. You smiled, resolute. “Now you have my number, so you can call or text to tell me about your day if you ever want to.”

He couldn’t get the smile off his face for the rest of the day, palming the page in the pocket of his hoodie whenever he needed a reminder that someone as wonderful as you actually seemed to care about him. Little did he know how your heart had soared when, an hour after school, your phone buzzed with his first message:

Hi y/n, this is Connor. Thanks for being my friend. You’re a cool person.

Followed immediately by another after as he realised that his message was a bit cold.

You’d giggled the whole way home.

A year later, and you had happily been dating for eight months. It had been tough, what with Connor’s seemingly endless self-doubts and insecurities, but you were going strong. Connor had made you more considerate and thoughtful, taking extra care to stop and pay attention to the world around you, and you had made him open up, showed him that it was okay to let the world in and that not everyone was out to hurt him.

Connor was finally comfortable being himself, secure in the relationship, when you decided that it was time for your worlds to combine. Your mother had been insisting for months that she wanted to have your boyfriend over for dinner, and having seen Connor so happy lately, you figured now was as good a time as any.

You imagined it going so smoothly, with Connor melting into your arms and being so excited to meet the people that loved you as much as he did. What happened instead was that Connor stared at you wide-eyed for a moment, then stood up, mumbled something about being late for class, and left the cafeteria. Despite it being the middle of the lunch break.

Anyone else would’ve been worried but you knew Connor. He just needed a bit of time to think about things and then he would come find you and talk about it. Sure enough, he approached your locker right after the school bell rang to finish the day.

He looked at you nervously, arms folding in on themselves. “Can, uh, we talk?”

You nodded. “Of course we can, love.”

You walked to a nearby park where you often spent time, the two of you sitting down on a park bench. A group of young kids were kicking a soccer ball around between them, while others sat on swings. You looked at Connor whose gaze was locked on the group kicking the ball around in a desperate bid to avoid your eyes. “Sweetheart, what’s going on in that mind? Please let me in.”

He sighed, studying the gravel below you with his head in his hands. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to meet your family.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in concern. “And why is that?”

Running his hands through his hair, he finally looked up at you. “I’m not a..people person…like you. I mean, you remember what I was like before we were dating, I’m not good at looking at people, let alone talking to them, let alone trying to impress your family who…”

His eyes widened. “-your large family, who I’m just never going to be enough for. Your parents are already going to stress me out and you can at least hold an adult conversation with them. How am I supposed to make a good impression on your siblings? They’re kids! I’m horrible with kids.”

Just as Connor was returning to his head-in-hands-moping position, a ball landed at his feet. “Hey, pass us the ball!”

Connor slowly stood up, gently dribbling the ball between his feet before jogging over to the group and passing it to the boy that had called out. “Dude, that was some super quick footing before, do you play professionally or something?”

You watched the young boy blush, rubbing a hand behind his neck bashfully. “Haha, no!”

Connor leaned down, “You sure? With moves like that I wouldn’t be surprised if you make the big leagues with some patience and practice!”

The kid squinted up at your boyfriend, smiling excitedly, and your heart melted at the sight. Connor reached over and ruffled the boy’s hair before heading back over to you. He turned around to the boy, pointing a finger at him and calling out, “Gotta put in the hard work, alright?”

The kid nodded as Connor sat back next to you. You noted how his body language had shifted: he was more open, happier, content. At least until he remembered the conversation he had left. He sighed, “I just…they’re going to hate me.”

“Connor, hey,” You reached out an arm, noting the way he flinched before easing into your touch. It broke your heart how much pain he held inside him, despite how far he’d come. How far you both had. “They’re going to love you. You have so much heart, my love. You try so hard to be loving and kind despite all that you’re going through. How could they not love you?”

He lingered in your gaze before looking back out to the park, letting out a deep exhale. You took the opportunity to continue. “I mean, look at how you just made that little boy’s day. He’s not going to forget the guy that went up to him in the park and believed in him and his dreams. If you can do that, you can sure as hell hold a conversation with my siblings.”

He looked up at you, a glint of hope in his eye and a small smile appearing on his face. “You think?”

You smiled, “Absolutely. And besides, do you really think I’d ever let you get hurt by someone, even slightly? If my family says anything that upsets you, I’ll be right there. And I’ll give them a piece of my mind.”

He laughed and wrapped his arms around you, angling down to kiss the top of your hair. “How did I ever get lucky enough to find you?”

You smiled into his embrace, “You opened your eyes.”

a/n: hi lovely Nela! thank you for being so patient waiting for me to tackle one of your wonderful requests. I figured since you’re a bit nervous about your upcoming adventure that I would surprise you with a story to cheer you up! I hope that this is everything that you wanted it to be. thank you for always being such a wonderful friend 💜

p.s. I listened to the writing playlist you made me while writing this and I absolutely adore it 🥰

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je-suis-asshole · 2 years

Text

Running From My Emptiness

A Treebros Oneshot

warning: this heavily features an eating disorder and contains vomiting

Night time has always been the most peaceful for Evan. It means no people, no expectations, just him and the dark. Being well acquainted with sleeplessness, he had grown accustomed to staring at the ceiling, not sure why he couldn't just fall asleep.

Tonight, however, he knew exactly why he couldn't sleep. His stomach wasn't exactly quiet with it's tugging and growling.

Maybe Evan hadn't eaten dinner tonight. Or lunch. And he never eats breakfast. So what? It's just one day. It's not like anyone died from skipping one day.

It wasn't on purpose, either. Evan had spent the lunch period in the counselors office, discussing his AP exams in a few months. They would be the last AP exams he took until applying for college next year, and his counselor couldn't stop expressing how important it was for juniors to send colleges their exam scores. Which meant scoring well. Which meant studying.

So, later that night, he had opted to ignore the twenty dollar bill his mother had left on the counter. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence. He had other things to do, like look up study guides for AP Bio.

It doesn't matter if he lied to his boyfriend when he had asked if he had eaten yet. Connor was a worrier, that was all. Evan just didn't want to stress him out.

Evan huffed, and rolled over on his bed. He would just have to try harder to sleep. It was far too late to eat. Tomorrow was a new day.

"What's wrong with your sandwich?" Connor asked, screwing the cap on his water bottle closed. The chaos of the cafeteria raged on around them and their small, sticky table.

"What do you mean?" Evan asked, stabbing at the container of broccoli with the flimsy fork. Connor flicked his wrist towards the sandwich, like that was the part that Evan was questioning.

"You haven't touched it," he commented. It was undeniably true, so Evan just shrugged.

"Not feeling very hungry. I actually had breakfast this morning and I guess that was enough," he lied with ease.

Evan wasn't a liar. It's not like he made a habit out of it, or he relished deceiving Connor. He just didn't want to make it out to be something that it wasn't.

"At least one of us has our shit together," Connor scoffed. "I left my notebook on my desk last night, and didn't even realize until this period. I'm so used to just not taking notes."

"I could have told you that," Evan said, yelping at the pea that got thrown at his head in response.

The bell signaling the end of lunch rang, and his tray got thrown in the garbage, untouched.

It wasn't a habit.

It really wasn't. Evan wasn't trying to skip eating or anything. He had been planning on eating dinner that night, honest.

But as he stepped out of the shower that evening, he couldn't help but glance in the mirror.

He had only skipped for a couple of days. Staring in the mirror, though, he looked... skinnier. Not a significant amount. Just enough. Enough to get him thinking.

Evan had never considered himself overweight. In fact, doctors often told him that he was close to underweight and advised him to eat more.

Despite this, he never really liked how he looked. His face was too round, his nose too big, his fingers too stubby, his chest too sunken. It got worse when he started going out with Connor. Perfect, beautiful, angelic Connor who makes anyone standing next to him look hideous. Especially Evan.

He never understood what Connor saw in him. Why anyone as supernaturally beautiful would want someone who looks the way Evan does.

But, now, Evan felt better. It wasn't quite confidence in his appearance, or even tolerance, but he hated what he saw a little less.

And maybe, he thought, so would Connor.

For once, when Evan got into Connor's car the next morning, he felt a little excited for the day ahead. He had found a solution to the problem that was him. And the aching in his gut was a reminder that he was doing the right thing.

"Good morning!" he said, kissing his boyfriend on the cheek before dropping his backpack down between his legs.

"Good morning, babe. What's the good news?"

"What good news?" Besides the fact that Evan had discovered how to finally fix himself. Now not only would his looks improve, so will his relationship with Connor and his mental health. He had to restrain himself from kissing him again out of joy.

"You seem very cheery. What happened?" Connor asked suspiciously. He was smiling, though, when he pulled out of the Hansen's driveway.

"Nothing. I just feel good. And I love you," Evan said. Both were true. Especially that last part. He really did love Connor, and now he could justify how Connor could love him.

It never really made sense. He guesses he could understand why Connor wanted to be friends with him. Neither of them had friends and bad company is better than no company.

But he didn't have to ask Evan out. He didn't have to let another day go by without breaking up with him. Unless someone was secretly making him, or Evan's mom was paying Connor- no. That's stupid. She didn't have enough money to pay Connor. It'd take a significant amount to make someone deal with Evan.

Now, though, now Connor will like him.

"You're smiling," Connor said, stopping at a red light and taking the opportunity to turn to Evan. Evan touched his face to find that he really was smiling. He hadn't even noticed.

"Oh. Sorry. I didn't notice," he said, biting his lip to keep it down. Just one more thing he didn't like about himself. His eyes would crinkle too much and his gums were too big.

"Don't apologize for smiling! I like it. I like your smile. I like you being happy," Connor admitted, ears glowing red with blush. It was hard for him to be open and mushy, Evan knew, but with practice he learned to open up.

"I am happy." Soon, with enough discipline and self-restraint, he'd be able to make Connor happy too.

Connor grinned, and rested his hand on Evan's leg as he cleared the intersection.

The smile faded. Evan wasn't skinny enough yet for Connor to touch him, especially on his leg! He couldn't pull away, that would be rude and Connor would think that he'd done something wrong.

Evan didn't relax until they were out of the car and walking into school together. He had a mission, now. A goal. To finally be skinny enough for Connor to touch.

139.5lbs.

That was how much he weighed at the end of the week. Evan felt sick. He had a system, and it seemed that it didn't work. Only during breakfast would he eat, and then sometimes a snack for dinner. But he was still too heavy.

Frantically, Evan looked up how much a teenage boy his height should weigh.

Google was lying. The article he used to calculate his BMI said his weight was on the lower end of the average weight range. That wasn't not right. He was heavier than that.

He couldn't settle for average. He wouldn't rest until that calculator read 'underweight'.

Maybe he should start working out. That way he wouldn't just be waiting for his body to burn calories on its own. He could speed up the process by burning it himself.

Besides, wasn't working out healthy? He was just being healthy.

School was a blessing in disguise. It was so much easier to avoid food at school. At home he had to lock his bedroom door to avoid wandering down into the kitchen and listening to the growing pit in his stomach. Or he would go on a run through the neighborhood to put distance between him and the fridge.

But at school, all he had to do was call the cafeteria food gross and get away with eating nothing for 7 hours.

"Here," Connor said one day at lunch. "I made you a sandwich." A blue Tupperware container was dropped in front of Evan.

"What?" No. No, no. What was Connor doing?

"I made you a sandwich. You don't like the cafeteria food, which is totally understandable, but you still need to eat. So I made you a PB&J. Actually, I made you two. You liked them at my house."

With the strength of 50 men, Evan smiled and opened the container. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that. You're sweet," he said, leaning over and giving him a peck on the lips.

"Of course! Can't have my boyfriend starve," Connor said, grinning and pulling out his own sandwich.

Every bite was another loss. Why was Connor doing this? Didn't he want Evan to be skinnier? That's why Evan was doing this, he was doing all of this for Connor. He had been watching what he ate like a hawk for the last 3 weeks for Connor. For them. For their relationship.

Yesterday, he had weighed in at 131.7lbs. He was just a few pounds away from officially being underweight. It's not like Evan could just settle for underweight, though. He wouldn't stop until he was 120lbs, to make sure that he stayed underweight. And he wouldn't get that way by eating PB&J's.

"Hey, I gotta go to the bathroom. I'll meet you in APUSH, okay?" Evan said when lunch dismissed, standing up unsteadily. His vision swam for a second, before he shook it off.

"You okay?" Connor asked, watching him. Evan swayed and then straightened.

"Yep. Be back in a second, babe," he called, weaving in between the students. Once he was out of Connor's sight, he sped up towards the bathrooms.

Once he was safely in a stall, he locked the door and listened to make sure no one was in here. No feet. No sounds. The coast was clear.

Dropping his backpack on the gross floor, Evan bent over the toilet and paused. Was he about to do this? For what? To lose a little bit of weight?

Yeah, he thought, I am.

Quickly, before he could chicken out, Evan hooked two fingers and shoved them down his throat. Panic clouded his brain and he choked.

Retching noises echoed in the bathroom but nothing came out. He tried again, curling his fingers and soldiering through the feeling.

After a moment, finally, Evan coughed and hurled into the toilet. Tears pricked his eyes. There was more. He needed to get it all out.

15 minutes later, he walked into APUSH late and avoided Connor's eyes. He was doing this for them, anyways.

127.6lbs. He had lost 15 pounds in a little over a month. He was officially underweight. He was so, so close to his goal. It would turn summer soon, and he could wear his swim trunks and be proud of how he looked.

But when Evan looked in the mirror, he couldn't help but look at his gut, his arms, his thighs, his calves. There was too much fat. He should be skinnier than this.

All of this work and he still looked gross. He barely ate, barely went a day without going for a run, and couldn't remember what it felt like to not be hungry.

Evan thought that this is probably what the universe felt like before everything was created. Not that he was calling himself a great expansion of nothingness, though 'nothing' is a fairly accurate word to describe him with.

But, much like the universe pre-Big Bang, he too felt nothing but empty.

Connor wouldn't like him like this. Connor would break up with him if he didn't start getting serious about this, and fast.

Evan turned away from the mirror, and sighed. It was time to go for a run. A long one. He needed it.

"You hungry? My mom said she'd order us a pizza, which she literally never does," Connor asked, head upside down on his bed as he looked at Evan.

"Um... sure," he said, tugging at the hem of his shirt. It was fine. He could eat a few slices of pizza. It was necessary to act normal, and he could always just throw it up later.

"C'mon, let's go tell Cynthia to order Papa Johns so she doesn't get Pizza Hut again," Connor sighed, hopping up off of his bed and motioning Evan to join him.

When Evan stood up, the world seemed to stand still. Then it started moving underneath him, like a carnival ride. His vision went foggy and distantly, he could feel his knees hit the floor. A month and a half of starving himself hit him all at once.

"-an? Evan? Baby, are you okay? Please, please answer me? Are you okay?" Connor was asking. Evan blinked, clearing his vision.

They were on the floor, his back pressed against Connor's chest. He could feel how heavily Connor was breathing. "I'm okay."

"Jesus- fuck, Evan. What happened? You started shaking and I thought you were having a fucking seizure," Connor gasped, squeezing Evan like he was trying to escape. Like he'd ever want to leave Connor's arms.

At least, that was how he felt until he realized that Connor was touching him, he could feel how much weight Evan hadn't lost.

"I just stood up too quickly," Evan said, pulling himself out of Connor's lap and tucking his knees up to his chest. Blood roared in his ears. That was too close.

"Evan, you were out for over a minute."

"What?" It had felt like a blink. Not a minute. Was Connor lying? No, he wouldn't.

"You fully passed out. When's the last time you ate?" Connor asked, innocently, unaware that the question hit Evan like a flatbed truck.

The honest answer was two apples the day before for breakfast. "I had breakfast this morning," Evan lied. He wasn't a liar. He just needed to protect Connor.

"Did you?"

Why was Connor pressing? Didn't he want Evan to lose weight? Didn't he want him to be skinny, to be pretty? "You feel... really thin, Ev."

"I do?" Evan asked, head shooting up. A smile spread across his face. Connor thought he was thin! The tears, the vomiting, the working out, it was working!

"Evan..." Connor didn't look quite as happy, though. His eyebrow pinched together. And just as quickly as it had soared, Evan's heart dropped. Connor was going to break up with him.

"Listen- please, it's just, okay. I know, I know it's not a lot but I'll get there, okay, I promise. I'm so close just, please, please don't do it," Evan begged, squeezing his legs closer to his chest like they could protect him from the inevitable.

"Don't do what? What are you talking about?" Connor asked. If he was going to make him say it out loud, then so be it.

"Please don't break up with me..." Evan whimpered. He couldn't bring himself to look at Connor. No doubt he was disgusted with how pathetic he looked right now. If anything, he was more likely to break to with him than ever.

"Break... what? You think I'm going to break up with you?" Connor asked.

"Well..." Evan trailed off, sniffing. Tears were threatening to fall and he didn't want to be even more of a mess then they both knew he was. "Yeah."

"What? Why would I break up with you? I love you! So much! I- I know I don't say it often enough but if you're unhappy with me-"

"No! No, it's not you. God, it couldn't be you. I just thought you wouldn't be able to stand it for much longer," Evan confessed, peaking up over his knees. To his confusion, he was met with a look of horror on Connor's face.

"Stand what?" he asked. Evan couldn't tell if it was mercy or sadism that was driving Connor to act confused, like he didn't know exactly what was wrong with Evan.

"Everything about me. How annoying I am, how ugly I am, how stupid I am, how fat I am, how-"

"What? Woah, what the fuck?" Evan couldn't bring himself to look at Connor anymore. His memories of his first heartbreak would be staring at the carpet in a bedroom that wasn't his.

Silence lay across the room, heavy and suffocating and Evan wanted to scream and cry and crawl to Connor for comfort but he can't. He's not allowed to do that anymore, not since they're basically broken up.

"Evan..." Connor whispered. His voice is soft and gentle, heartbroken, but Evan flinched like he screamed. "You're not any of those things. Not even close. Have you... have you been starving yourself?”

"Um, yeah." Did Connor not know? Did Connor not notice how he'd been losing weight and getting skinnier?

"Why?" The words came out in a shudder.

"I wanted to be skinnier for you... I wanted you to like me," Evan admitted. His head snapped up at the ensuing gasp.

To his horror, Connor's face was red and tears were streaming down. He looked heart broken. "Ev, no. No..." With little warning, Connor lunged forward and held Evan close, unable to contain the sobs that had been building when he felt just how frail Evan was. "Evan, I like you. I love you. You don't need to starve yourself to prove it."

"Well, I just, uh, I just thought you might like me more if I was skinnier," Evan said. If he was skinny enough, Connor would overlook the rest of his general Evan-ness.

"No. Babe, no." Evan could feel Connor bury his face in his hair, and Evan held him tight. Maybe he wouldn't get broken up with. Maybe they would be okay.

"I just wanted to be better for you. I'm sorry," Evan apologized, the tears finally falling. Tears turned into sobs, and his small body shook. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

"Please, don't be sorry. It's okay. You're sick. I love you. You're beautiful. You always were."

Evan couldn't bring himself to believe Connor. At least yet. Maybe, one day, he'd be able look in the mirror and smile. Without thought of what he would one day look like. Just acceptance of what he was now.

"Thank you," he whispered into Connor's chest, receiving a squeeze in return.

"Any time. Do you think you can eat?" Connor asked, kissing him on the top of his head.

"I can try.”

"That's all you need to do."

#treebros #dear evan hansen #oneshot #connor murphy #evan hansen #connor x evan #dear evan hansen oneshot

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lightupsketchersperson · 2 years

Text

Connor Murphy x Reader

Summary: You are Connor were dating until he started acting strange.

warning: shitty writing

Mentions: Suicide and other possible triggering topics

570 words

No one's POV

When it was the first day of school and the only good thing that came from that is seeing Connor. You and Connor were best friends when you were younger but no one knew about you. You never got to meet his parents or other friends. You of course met his sister but she didn't like you, she thought you influenced him to bully people. However, you were the complete opposite for him and help him a lot, or that's what you thought. After a bit, Connor started to push you away and began to argue with you more. He started arguments about everything but never got violent. You felt there was something up and different about Connor.

When you were at school you noticed Connor was avoiding you at school which set you off. You had known there was something wrong because he was usually with you at school. After you had realized what was happening you paid more attention to him.

You were the one to find Connor's body and the note. You felt you had failed him worse than his parents felt. When you found the note you had known that Connor must've stolen the note. Connor's parents didn't know he had a significant other and when they found out they were heartbroken. Connor's parents loved you because you were one of the closest people to him. You reminisced on the days spent with Connor cuddled up somewhere in your house. He always had a hard exterior but after several times he let you paint his nails you knew.

When you found Connor you were heartbroken. You felt like that was the reason you got up in the morning, now he's dead. You sat at their table while chaos broke out around you. You didn't know what do to with yourself. How would you even make it without him, he was your lifeline.

There you were in front of his grave on your birthday. You truly missed Connor but it was time you moved on with someone new. You didn't know how or when but you finally made amendments with yourself. After years of reflection and therapy, you were finally ready to start dating again. That's why you have a date tonight with Evan Hansen. It felt really wrong for you to go on a date with him but it was your only chance.

Pulling into the restaurant you were really confident but you were feeling woozy. You knew this date wasn't going to work for you. However, you walked through the restaurant doors anyways sitting down at your table. When Evan pulled up to the table things were very awkward due to him faking everything with Connor. You and Evan had a great night together but you didn't feel like it was right for you to move on.

That night you were in bed curled up looking at the old photos of you and Connor on your phone from years ago. At the moment you took to your social media and posted the photos. You sit there in bed wondering what you are doing with yourself and why you even decided to move on.

That night was the last night anyone had seen you. You committed suicide figuring it was the only way to be happy with Connor. And it was.

-S

#dear evan hansen #connor murphy #connor murphy x reader #fluff oneshot #suicide warning

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mysteriousxmidnight · 2 years

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I’ve come to the conclusion that my Top 3 Favorite Musicals are:

1. Dear Evan Hansen

2. Legally Blonde

3. Mean Girls

In that order. And since I’m bored and love answering asks, I’m gonna open asks and headcanon requests up to all 3 instead of just DEH. One shots are still DEH only because idk that I could do the other shows justice, but I’d consider writing mini one shots for them, the kind that could be posted here.

(And, if at some point I can come up with two more to make a top 5, I’ll edit this post. But brain empty right now and all I can think of is top 3, heh)

#dear evan hansen #deh #legally blonde the musical #legally blonde #mean girls broadway #mean girls musical #mean girls #musicals #musical theater #broadway #headcanons #oneshot requests

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theromcommotel · 11 months

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WELCOME !!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN !!

hello !!

i am elsie, i have requests open for x reader fanfics !

the fandoms and types of writing i’m willing to do will be listed below !!

PLEASE specify the type of fic!!! (headcanons, oneshot, blurb, etc)

fandoms:

dear, evan hansen (the musical):

evan hansen

connor murphy

jared kleinman

harry potter:

harry potter

ron weasley

hermione granger

luna lovegood

seamus finnigan

neville longbottom

draco malfoy

cedric diggory

pansy parkinson

lavender brown

fred weasley

george weasley

percy weasley

young!sirius black

young!remus lupin

young!james potter

young!lily evans (potter)

young!severus snape (?) ((maybe i haven’t decided yet sjbsnsjsns))

(and more probably - i just don’t feel like writing them all down)

heathers (the musical):

veronica sawyer

jason dean

h. chandler

h. duke

h. mcnamara

martha dunstock

ram sweeney

kurt kelly

encanto:

mirabell madrigal

camilo madrigal

isabela madrigal

luisa madrigal

dolores madrigal

pepa madrigal

felix madrigal

bruno madrigal

ouran high school host club:

haruhi fujioka

tamaki suoh

kyoya ootori

hikaru hitachiin

kaoru hitachiin

takashi morinozuka

mitskuni huninozuka

REMINDER: if there isn’t a certain character on this list, i’m not very good at writing them / don’t feel comfy doing so !!

do’s and don’ts

do’s

oneshots

imagines

headcanons

x reader

angst

fluff

don’ts

smut (i may or may not write smut on certain occasions - i’m just not very confident in it.)

incest (sibling x sibling, parent x child, etc)

oc x canon

if something pops up in a request i won’t do i’ll add it to this list

got questions ?

be sure to lemme know! <3

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itsjustaturt · 6 months

Note

do u have any fanfic recs? I'm not sure what to read next.. (can be for tmc or any fandom!!!)

thank you for the ask, anon! I, too, often find myself scrolling aorund ao3 with nothing much to read-- so here's my personal list of fanfics that are well-written, interesting, or just plain fun to read in any way!

(apologies for the pings, authors!)

TMC

my number one recommendation is, as always, every work in the Hail, True Body AU series (ongoing) written by @mustangsart, which is an AU wherein Mark doesn't die in vol. 1 while alt!Cesar starts trying a little too hard to be human. the characters are complex, relatable, compelling, and they tie in a lot to each other's role in the story and the themes; and this is all accompanied by an excellent writing style and manner of prose. 10/10, highly recommend, changed my life, constantly thinks about this AU, etc. etc. read it now.

cut down the altar! by @missr3n3 (main fic completed, accompanying pieces to come), an AU wherein Jonah lives after vol. 2 and is there to deal with the subsequent fallout. the prose is simpler, but the characters are engaging and relatable, and the plot is riveting and interesting. this one's worth a good read if you're looking for Adam dealing with humanity issues especially.

what's the softest way to say by snapplebee on ao3 (oneshot), an emotional piece detailing Cesar's friendship with Mark with a fair share of codependence-- and its inevitable end in September of 1992. this one's. uh. hhhhh. arhh..agg., yeah. this one's a hard hitter. this one might make you cry. don't blame me if it does. it's short, but very potent.

suburb life, uncertain (what is inside?) by @mythicandco (oneshot), wherein Adam takes a lie detector test. like the previous oneshot, it's short, but very potent; it handles Adam's character very well, has a good serving of his trademark Humanity Issues, and ends ominously, keeping you thinking about it for a while.

other fandoms

i'm sort of taking these off my bookmarks here

I'm gonna have to recommend the pray for disaster series by @graffitibible (ongoing; fandom: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys), a series of works detailing the backstories of the Killjoys and associated significant characters. it's a big one (over a million words long!) and even I haven't managed to read it in its entirety, but if you can spare the time, do check out at least one of the fics in there. the prose and descriptions are immaculate and bound to hook you into reading through a good portion of its word count, and the backstories and characterisations breathe new life into the characters and make them much more compelling than current canon.

Carry Me Home by valleykey on ao3 (completed; fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen), a fix-it wherein Geto and Gojo travel forward in time from 2007, right before Geto would have massacred that village, to 2018, and see what could have been. this one's especially good for the way it handles Geto's characterisation and thought processes; it really fleshes out his character in compelling ways that somewhat extend from canon but is still consistent with the way canon presents him.

march of progress by Calamitatum on ao3 (completed; fandom: Detroit: Become Human), wherein Connor has to deal with the aftermath of the android revolution and his newfound humanity at the same time. again, this one has an excellent writing style that clearly showcases Connor's character through its narrative voice. it develops Connor in interesting, compelling ways; ways that the source material could never. (for the record, I think DBH only has a mildly compelling story at best, with the 'best' being Connor's segment.) check it out-- it's a pretty engaging read!

love, comment and subscribe by nothingunrealistic on ao3 (oneshot; fandom: Dear Evan Hansen), a series of transcripts of the videos on the Youtube channel Jared's Tech Inspect. based on that one marketing video they did, this fic is as lighthearted and cheerful as Jared presents himself to be, before taking a darker, more serious turn as the events in canon progress and Jared's mental state takes a turn for the worse. the unconventional format is effective in the way it shows both Jared's characterisation and the scale of The Connor Project's fame, as well as the reactions of the internet towards Jared and TCP.

anyway, those are my recommendations; do let me know if you find these useful. cheers!

#turt replies #reki's mess #the mandela catalogue #danger days #deh #dbh #fanfic rec

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goldendoodlerlockerlove · 3 months

Note

4 for the wip asks :)

Thank you so much!! :D

Sincerely, Me is a very rough WIP name for this WIP fic. It takes place in the universe of the musical Dear Evan Hansen, and it came about because I had the biggest desire in the world to write something Kleinsen-related (Evan Hansen x Jared Kleinman). It actually technically takes place in the movie universe, and I don't even particularly like the movie (I have thoughts). I don't hate it or anything, but it could've been done so much better. Anyway, I made it part of the movie universe so some good content could come from there. So, I guess I'd have to call it Kalsen (Evan Hansen x Jared Kalwani) because they changed his last name for the movie.

It's mainly centered around their daughter, Paige, and her best friend, Tyrone. Paige is Cis and Panromantic, and Tyrone is Trans Masc and Straight. They were definitely a fun duo to write, even though I didn't write that much for this fic. I was actually planning on it being a big, multi-chapter fic, but I might just try to make it a Oneshot so I can just finish it and post it. I'm not sure I can make it a big, multi-chapter fic with this concept, anyway.

Here's a little excerpt for you:

She didn’t answer, opting instead to glance at the trees. “I’m surprised you didn’t mention Jared being Indian first.”

She was well aware of his distaste for her calling her dads by their first names. In her opinion, it was entertaining watching his mouth become agape whenever she did this, so sometimes she’d do it on purpose. It never mattered to her--it was sometimes necessary, to distinguish them, and the two of them weren’t fretful of this habit. However, Tyrone always suggested she call Evan “Dad” and Jared “Pitā” instead, which is the Hindi word for Father.

She never listened to this advice.

Tyrone began chasing a pebble with his shoe, “Well, he mentions being Jewish a lot more than he does being Indian.”

She sighed, crossing her arms as a sudden, harsh breeze cut through them, “I guess you’re not wrong.”

He didn’t stop harassing the pebble even when they approached her house. It was pretty average, as far as regular houses in suburbia went, being all beige and harsh corners, as well as a roof sharp enough to poke Santa on his journey every Christmas (she stole that joke from Jared).

Annnnd here's another excerpt that comes a little later!

“Paige?” She heard an all-too familiar voice float from the kitchen. “Is that you?”

“Yeah, Dad.” She began striding towards the source as Tyrone shot her a look. “It’s not as if I call them by their first names all the time.”

Jared was perched over the stove, nursing a bottle of water as he continued frying something on a pan. He enjoyed nursing a bottle of alcohol instead on some late nights, but he was trying to consume less for Bri’s sake. “Sorry about your sister. I thought she was going to be napping around now, but I guess it was my mistake assuming she would do anything I expect.”

Paige let out a snicker, “It’s fine, you know Ty loves her anyway.”

She leaned closer, trying to sneak a peek at his latest concoction, “I thought you wouldn’t be home. What is that?”

“I took the day off. It’s Rosh Hashanah, remember? This is chicken breast with leeks and potatoes. Your dad should be coming home soon from the park.”

Paige felt her hand connecting hard with her face, “Oh God. Oh no. I can’t believe I forgot!”

A strength she always prided herself on was her ability to remember dates more so than everyone else in her family. The fact this one slipped by her was frustrating, to say the least--not to mention Rosh Hashanah was always her favorite Jewish holiday to celebrate. Perhaps Grace was making her more distracted than she first thought.

She turned towards Tyrone, “I’m sorry, I still can’t believe I forgot about this. I was hoping we’d be able to hang out tonight.”

“Well, I can’t see why he can’t stay for dinner.”

Her mouth agape, she turned on her heel to face Jared again, “Who are you and what have you done with my father?”

When he gave her a questioning look, she continued, “You’ve never let anyone stay over for Rosh Hashanah. It’s family time.”

Tyrone gasped, bouncing on the toes of his feet, “Does this mean… you consider me family?”

Paige grit her teeth and elbowed her friend, a fruitless attempt to calm him. One of the things that annoyed Jared the most was people who weren’t part of the family trying to insert themselves into their tight-knight dynamic. Sure, it seemed for a while Tyrone was the exception, but it was still thin ice to tread. A reason why was because someone else, someone older, tried doing the same some time back, and ended up uprooting all of their lives once it was revealed they were a no-good scam-artist. And, for irony’s sake, that person ended up being Grace’s current foster father.

Just for some context, Bri is Paige's little sister (So Evan and Jared have two daughters) and Grace is Paige and Tyrone's bully (mostly Paige's). And I was planning on having it be revealed to Paige the first time all of the events of the musical (Connor's death, The Connor Project, Evan's speech, etc.), which was never mentioned to her before because Evan and Jared were too embarrassed by it all. They kind of wanted to sweep it under the rug, which evidently wasn't the best way to handle the situation.

#ask game #dear evan hansen #this is actually so fun to do #sorry for it not being bob's burgers related but this fic still holds a bit of a place in my heart #i actually kind of miss it and do want to finish it one day. if i recall correctly there aren't any kleinsen parent fics #so i really wanted to get on that. and making grace tyrone paige and bri to flesh out the world here was fun #i think part of me headcanons that tyrone used to have a bit of a crush on paige but got over pretty quick (they're just besties)#i like to think paige and grace might have something going on later because i was planning on making grace a complicated character #and giving her a whole redemption arc

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busted-glowstick · 1 year

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So I'm going to start writing requested fanfic stuff on here-

I have a bit of info before i get started- Yes, I will do smut, but not super commonly. I refuse to do any sort of incest, pedophilda, S/A, ect. I only do Character x Reader, sorry! These are the following fandoms I will write for and the characters! You can request familial, plaronic, or romantic! I don’t write females very well so I do apologize :( If I don’t specify certain characters in a fandom, they are all open! I don’t usually do Shipfics but if i get a detailed request I could try- I do scenarios, oneshots, and headcannons!

-Camp Camp

-Danganronpa (only Thh and Goodbye Dispair-)

-Mha/bnha

-Total Drama

-Haikyuu

-Dear Evan Hansen

-ohshc

-South Park

-Helluva Boss

-TADC

#ohshc x reader #deh x reader #hq x reader #camp camp x reader #danganronpa x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #total drama x reader #south park x reader #helluva boss x reader #tadc x reader

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upside-down-theater-kid · 2 years

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This Year We Make A New Start

A short oneshot of Evan's first day of freshman year that I wrote for the @sincerely-us Dear Evan Hansen on Broadway closing tribute.

Look! I'm actually posting a fic! Haven't done that since May! I'm not emotionally prepared for Dear Evan Hansen to close on Broadway on Sunday (or for when it closes on the West End and when the tour ends). A big thank you to my friends who gave me feedback (and the title)!

ao3

Scenario after scenario ran through Evan’s head, each of them more anxiety-inducing than the last, and his hands had begun to sweat.

“Oh Evan, I can’t believe that you’re already a freshman,” Heidi reached out to ruffle his hair. “It seems like yesterday that you were just starting kindergarten!” He stood up to put his bowl away.

“I should probably leave soon.” He started shaking his hands, one of his many nervous stims. “I don’t want to be late for the first day of high school, since what if I’m late to the assembly and I miss important information and then I don’t know what to do or where to go for the rest of the day? My teachers definitely won’t like it if I don’t show up to class.” The stimming stopped.

“Don’t worry,” reassured Heidi. “You won’t be late. But Evan?” He briefly made eye contact with her. “Please try to make friends this year. Or at least talk to people.”

“It’s so hard! Everyone already has their own friends.” He checked the time for the third time in a minute.

“High school is a big change from middle school, honey,” she replied. “There are lots of new kids. Who knows? Maybe one of them also has a special interest in trees.”

“I guess I can….try to talk to people.” His mother smiled.

“And there’s always Jared,” she reminded him.

“I don’t know if Jared will want to hang out with me, since we’re now in high school. What if I actually can’t make friends with anyone else?”

“This year will be different. I promise.” She hugged him. “Also, make sure to use your earplugs if you get overstimulated.”

“Thanks,” he said halfheartedly.

“I can’t wait to see what you’re going to accomplish in the next four years.”

#dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen fanfiction #evan hansen #heidi hansen #pre-canon #evan is a freshman #autistic evan hansen #i project my stims on to him #reblogging to get the word out is appreciated

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starlitink · 1 year

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About Me

Aster | They/them | Queer

DNI LIST!

Homophobes

Transphobes/TERFS/JK Rowling

Racists and white supremacists

Sexists/misogynists

Autism Speaks and their supporters (#lightitupred people!)

Xenophobes

Nazis

Pedophiles

Bipjobes, acephobes, arophobes, panphobes, literally just any kind of -phobe

You're not scared of people, you're just an asshole

Trump supporters

Ableists

Please note this blog has a big TW for cursing (but other than that, I try to keep everything family-friendly).

This is primarily a blog about Broadway musicals, although I will reblog random shit from time to time.

So far, I’ve listened to:

Newsies (both 92sies and Livesies)

Mean Girls

Heathers

Wicked (I saw this one live on Broadway right before COVID)

The Lightning Thief

Beetlejuice

Six

Hamilton

Tuck Everlasting

Legally Blonde

Beauty And The Beast

The Little Mermaid

Dear Evan Hansen

Aladdin

Mamma Mia!

The Prom

Hadestown

West Side Story

Anastasia

Into The Woods

Addams Family

Matilda

The Sound of Music

The Wiz

Frozen

Les Miserables

The Phantom Of The Opera

Hairspray

This is where I post headcanons, incorrect quotes, and writing (primarily about Newsies, as that is my favorite (as you can probably tell from my blog’s aesthetic))

A guide to navigating my blog is under the cut!

How to find things on my blog:

The ‘ask aster‘ tag is where I have ask games and answer questions!

Anything tagged ‘dogsies‘ is related to the Dogsies AU that my sisters and I came up with. In this AU, the newsies are dogs in an animal shelter run by Kloppman.

Anything tagged ‘invisible string‘ is related to the Invisible String AU (alternate name, Hell Was The Journey But It Brought Me Heaven). This AU is based on Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. In this AU, Jack and Davey are an angel and a demon trying to stop the apocalypse.

The ‘we’ll stay young forever‘ tag is another AU of my own creation. It’s a Newsies x Tuck Everlasting crossover AU where Jesse Tuck (AKA Crutchie) is forced to give Jack water from the magic spring in order to keep him alive, and chaos ensues.

Search for a specific ship like Javid or Sprace to find everything I’ve posted about that ship.

Contrary to popular belief, I do post about stuff other than Newsies. Search a specific musical to find everything I’ve posted about that musical!

The ‘aster writes‘ tag is where I post my writing! Oneshots and short stories go here!

"crystallizedtwilight" is for posts reblogged from @crystallizedtwilight, one of my absolute FAVORITE artists here on Tumblr. (She does a lot of Sprace art, so if you're looking for that, check this tag!)

I have low-key giving up on tagging things cuz I'm apathetic and the only reason this blog is still up and running is because of the queue function so uhhhhhhh good luck finding shit now lol

#about me #Had to remake the about me post lol

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dreaminginpastels · 2 years

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d e a r e v a n h a n s e n m a s t e r l i s t

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

┌────────────────────────────┐

key:

✿ = fluff

➷ = angst

⁂ = hurt/comfort

☽ = alternate universe

♡ = gender neutral reader (they/them pronouns) - default

❀ = female reader (she/her pronouns) - by request

✧ = male reader (he/him pronouns) - by request

└────────────────────────────┘

connor murphy

open your eyes ✿➷⁂❀

connor is finally comfortable to be himself in your relationship when you decide it’s time for him to meet your big family

#connor murphy x reader #connor murphy x fem!reader #connor murphy x you #connor murphy imagine #connor murphy oneshot #connor murphy #connor murphy fanfic #connor murphy fanfiction #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen x reader #dear evan hansen x fem!reader #dear evan hansen x you #dear evan hansen imagine #dear evan hansen oneshot #dear evan hansen fanfic #dear evan hansen fanfiction #requests open #daniella writes 💫

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littlefirefly42 · 2 years

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Greetings fair traveler! Welcome to my blog! I'm happy to have you, why don't you stay a while?

(If you're looking for my masterlist, it's at the bottom of this post)

About Me!

-You can call me Firefly :)

-I'm genderqueer and I use all pronouns

-This isn't just an agere blog, but I am an age regressor and I do make some agere posts and reblog agere content

-I do swear and reblog mildly nsfw content (such as sexual jokes and objective conversations about the morality of sexuality. Nothing explicit, and zero pornographic art, writing, videos, or photos)

-Ddlg, abdl, and other de-aging kinks are not welcome on my blog. Do not interact if you are going to sexualize or hate on age regression

Requests

I love getting requests!! If you want to request a fic, moodboard, or DNI banner don't be shy! This blog is mainly agere, but I do other stuff too.

The fandoms I work with are:

-MCU/Marvel Comics

-She-Ra

-All Riordanverse fandoms except Kane Chronicles

-The Owl House

-Adventure Time

-Crier's War

-Bee and Puppycat

-The Song of Achilles

-The Outsiders

-Stranger Things

-Gone

-Heartstopper

-Over the Garden Wall

-Don't Hug me I'm Scared

-The Dragon Prince

-Goncharov

-It (movies only, chapter one and two)

-Wednesday

-Hamilton

-Dear Evan Hansen (the book and the musical)

-How to Train Your Dragon (the books and the movies/shows)

-Deadloch

-My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Fics

I will only write oneshots, however the length of which can vary and is usually 1000-4000 words.

I will not write:

Incest

Pedophilia

Romantic couples under the age of fourteen

Smut or kink of any kind

Breastfeeding

Padded agere (there's nothing wrong with it but it does attract creeps outside the community)

Pro ED, SH, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, antiseminism, xenophobia, rape/non-con, fatphobia, or ableism (I will still write these things, but not in a positive light)

Certain characters (you can always send me an ask about which characters in a fandom I will not write)

I will write:

SFW agere

Y/N

Mild to moderate gore (blood, stab/bullet wounds, infections, etc.)

Heavy angst (including the angst tropes listed previously, as long as it is not shown in a positive light)

Major character death

Basically any trope that isn't on the previous list

Moodboards

I will do moodboards for whole fandoms, aesthetics, places, time periods, fictional ships, fictional characters, and (positive or neutral) stereotypes. I can even do moodboards of certain headcanons. If you have a request that isn't listed, just message me, I'll probably do it so long as it is sfw.

DNI Banners

Unlike fic and moodboard requests, I'll do a DNI banner for any character in any fandom, even if it is not listed above. I'll even make one for groups of people. Heck, I'll do one for an object if you want. The default for my banners is "____ Protects this Blog NSFW DNI" If you would like it to say something else let me know.

Don't feel bad if your request (for any of the above categories) is very specific! I love specific requests, they actually make my life so much easier, so don't be shy to specify exactly what you want.

Works

I Ate- CG!Mike/Little!Will>> Warnings: Implied ED; throwing up>> Summary: Will is fussy from hunger and Mike tries his best to help.

Tummy Hurts- CG!Lucas/Little!Max>> Warnings: Throwing up; impure regression>> Summary: Max is on her period and is a little more than fussy, Lucas takes care of her.

Glass- CG!Natasha/Little!Wanda>> Warnings: Panic attack; blood; impure regression>> Summary: While Natasha is out getting groceries, Wanda breaks a glass and slips, and chaos ensues until mama nat comes home to comfort her baby.

Rainy Day- Lumax (LucasxMax)>> Warnings: None. It's all fluff. All of it. There is a bit where a character chokes on popcorn?? Does that count??? They don't die or anything though, they cough it up>> Summary: Lucas and Max get to go on their movie date and vecna can kma.

Never Ever- CG!Wanda/Little!Reader>> Warnings: Abandonment issues; blood; yelling; nightmare; very minor implication that reader was abused at some point>> Summary: Your mommy comforts you after a bad nightmare.

Little Monster-CG!Magnus/Little!Alex>>Warnings: Sensory overload; Impure regression; blood; anxious SH>>Summary: Alex gets sensory overload at a Halloween party and regresses. Magnus takes care of him and they just have some fluffy fall fun

Braids-CG!Eddie/Little!Steve>>Warnings: Cheerio violence>>Summary: Steve can't help but play with Eddie's hair. Who is Eddie to refuse the little prince?

Love, Maxie- Elmax (El x Max)>> Warnings: Mental Breakdown; Self harm; Su!cide (not graphic); vomiting (not ED related); Hurt no comfort>>Summary: When Max's letters stop coming, El realizes she's lost the only person she's ever truly loved

Spiderling- CG!Gwen/Little!Miles>> Warnings: Slight blood, semi-graphic description of minor infection>>Summary: Miles is definitely NOT regressed and he CAN help fight. Except... Gwen and Peter aren't buying it.

25 Days of Agere Moodboards

I hope you enjoy your stay, make sure to eat some sleep and get eight hours of water!

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