Hollow, rushing in and frantically signing: Dad I need your help, people are worshiping me again!
Pale King: Again? That's... hmm... and you've tried tripping in front of them?
Hollow: I've tried everything! They found my clumsiness endearing, my drunken foolishness hilarious, my rage relatable—I even tried to lie and say that I wasn't a god!
Pale King: What did they say?
Hollow: They said that only a god worthy of worship would be so humble!
Pale King: That's not good...
Hollow: No shit! What do I do?!
Pale King: ...
Pale King: ... I have an idea.
—
Radiance, groggily walking out of her house, mumbling to herself: You'd think being the literal sun would make you a morning person—oh what the actual fuck?
An Entire Crowd of People: There she is! The Goddess of our Humble God! Please, Goddess, share with us your teachings!
Radiance: Teachings... right... um, be careful what you wish for? Look, I'm going to... I need to go talk to a voidling god about a thing, don't... don't follow me.
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I don't normally do this but fuck it, I'm Unwell and need the distraction. Here's a random OrangeHook drabble/ficlet whatever that just oozed out of my brain in the last ten minutes. Enjoy? Maybe?
''Damn. Who's that?''
Orange's head turns as Hook takes a seat on the couch next to him. His eyes are fixed on the woman on screen. Orange doesn't blame him.
''Stacy Keibler.''
Orange had been in a nostalgic mood lately so he was watching a bunch of old episodes of Smackdown. He didn't think Hook was paying attention, but he guessed a woman like that is hard to ignore.
Hook hums, transfixed as Stacy makes her entrance, that slooooow way she'd go through the ropes while the cameras loving caressed those long legs of hers.
''I like her,'' Hook says, simply.
Orange lets a little huff of laughter out. ''You like blondes.''
Hook smiles. ''I'm a gentleman.''
Orange shakes his head emphatically. But the young man is too busy ogling Stacy to acknowledge it.
''That was a reference you probably don't get it,'' Hook says. ''You see, there's an old movie called Gentlemen Prefer -''
''I know what it's a reference to,'' Orange cuts him off. This kid, he swears.
Hook still cannot tear his eyes away from the beauty on the screen. Orange is having more fun watching Hook, the way his eyes slowly follow her whenever she's on screen, the way his shoulders lower whenever they cut away and then raise the second she's back. It's like he's watching himself back in his teenage years.
''Those legs,'' Hook astutely observes.
Orange gives him a look and this time, Hook actually glances over and catches it.
He smiles at him, ''What? Does it make you uncomfortable when I talk about women like that?''
Orange snorts. ''Kid, I was checking out women while you were still in diapers.'' Orange looks back at the screen and yeah. Yeah. He absolutely cannot blame the kid for staring. ''Specifically that one.''
''Good to know we have even more in common,'' Hook says.
A vague memory occurs to Orange, something he's not entirely sure happened but if it did, it's another weird connection between the person beside him and the person on screen. ''I think your dad put the Taz-mission on her once?''
Hook laughs out loud. ''I'll bet. He was probably mad that she's taller than him.'' He paused briefly. ''Those legs.''
''You already said that.''
''It bares repeating. She a wrestler?''
''Kinda? More of a valet.''
Hook nods and his teeth start to worry his bottom lip for a second. It does something to Orange. Always does.
''I'm thinking I need a valet,'' Hook says.
Orange throws his hands up. ''Alright, you twisted my arm - I'll do it. Let me find a pair of booty shorts and I'll be good to go.''
It earns him another even louder laugh. It also earns him Hook's full attention, Keibler be damned.
''I know that was a joke, but...I'd like to see it.''
Orange cracks up, embarrassingly loud. ''You and no one else. But nah, I think you'd suit 'em better. You've got nicer legs than she does.''
Hook's reaction is priceless - a man torn between his desire to defend the honor of his new crush and his own ego demanding that he take the compliment and run with it. In the end, he settles for a smirk and a shrug. Orange returns the smirk.
There's a single beat, before Hook's on him, hands capturing his face, feverishly kissing him while grinding in his lap.
God bless Stacy Keibler.
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