#it’s bleak and it’s nothing

[whimsyprinx]

I so desperately want to life a ghibli-esque life where I see the wonders and joy in the mundane parts of life but that’s also impossible besties

#whimsy whispers #I do believe a big part of it is feeling both isolated and stuck #I feel so alone and like I’m never going to be anywhere other than where I am rn both like physically as in location wise and like idk #mentally and emotionally as well #like it sounds so easy to just like try and treat things as if they’re wonderful and nice but it’s just not #I can barely go anywhere there’s not really anywhere to go either nor is there anyone to see and it’s just hard to find joy in life when #you feel unwanted and like a burden #the weather is warmer the flowers are blooming and soon fireflies will be back but that’s still just not enough to make life seem worth it #it’s bleak and it’s nothing #delete later #sorry it’s been a bit since I’ve been so depressed on main but like #it all got to me again #even the things I have planned don’t feel worth it or like it’ll actually happen #sure my roommates and I agreed to see the new barbie movie and yo try and go to a ren faire #but honestly most likely neither will happen as is often the case #and so I don’t want to get my hopes up and honestly even if they do happen I don’t know if I care #I don’t know that I’ll even be happy or have fun #nothing is fun nothing is nice I just feel like every minute I spend like as a person is wasted #I feel like someone else deserves the time I have alive

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts 3 - Olympus

#kingdom hearts 3 #kh3 #olympus #scenery #my gif #you could tell they wanted to make a good first impression with this world because they went all out #just think about how it used to be nothing but the exterior of the coliseum and the lobby #you can properly explore thebes now even if it is in shambles after the attack #and it's a surprisingly big town #then there's mount olympus and you actually get to climb all the way to the top #the base is so lush with all kinds of flowers and distant waterfalls it's gorgeous #until eventually you reach the rocky and cavernous mountain top during a severe thunderstorm #it feels very bleak and gloomy until you're suddenly greeted by the golden gates leading to the realm of the gods #and wow it's just stunning #really really beautiful world

[spoopy-moose]

The hands of a saint

(W/o overlay under the cut)

#pathologic #clara the changeling #the changeling #the changeling pathologic #can you tell I mixed 1 and 2 designs #blame the fact that the Lara/Rubin design for two has nothing special about them so I can’t really show who’s who #and also I just like yulia classic better #been drawing for a little over three months now and I really like how I’ve improved #like you guys do not want to see my first ever iPad drawing from three months back that was bleak #pathologic 2 #pathologic classic hd #clara pathologic #also fuck Lineart we balling with shitty sketchy lines

[icarianarts]

I am only trans to my family when it is beneficial. Sniffle

#apparently my mom will use it during work interviews #I don’t know what to call it when your family says they are supportive but do absolutely nothing to recognize or listen to anything you say #about yourself. #I have been out since I was 17 and everyone in my family carrys on like I never said a thing #I am still their cishet daughter but now with the addition of like #Being Brainwashed By The Left To Hate Being A Woman #If any of thst makes sense. it is so bleak

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

You know, I'm glad that some of us take the step to embrace things that we like even if they're "cringe" or "objectively bad"

But perhaps we could take the next step forward and embrace the idea of reading into books/shows/movies/etc even if they don't seem deep. Perhaps we could understand that the two kinds of media aren't either "shallow and meaningless so you're weird and brainrotted to read into it" or "incredibly and profoundly deep in every way so if you don't analyze every single angle of the thing then you're brainrotted". Some media is deeper than others, but all I propose is that no matter how deep it seems it's acceptable to dig into the thing and take the media seriously instead of just assuming that because of ____ thing (such as target audience or how cringe it is) the media not deep and will never be deep and everything good about it happened on accident.

#fandom wank #i just be ramblin #I'm not putting this in any tags #I'm just frustrated that Sonic Prime is going to be remembered by the bulk of its fanbase/people who watched it as a shallow stupid badly #written kid's show where the only thing good about it that we can even consider was created on purpose and is deep is Sonadow #I'm frustrated that when people learned that sometimes the death note creators did things because it was cool and not because they were #planning for it to be some great symbolism that so many people jumped from 'death note is a masterpiece and every bit of it is meticulously #thought out the curtains are never blue' to 'pack it up guys! the curtains are just blue! Everything good about death note like that #profound relationship I like and the neat symbolism completely happened by accident and Ohba sucks as a writer otherwise' #I'm frustrated when I see people talk about 'a kid's show' as if it's not gonna be deep at all or written well *because #it's a kid's show and then turn around and complain that said show sucks and isn't deep at all (even if that's how they're choosing to look #at it and they could see the care put into the story if they didn't go into it assuming that it will be lesser and shallow and dumb based on #what it is) #I guess it's also just getting me on this random Wednesday the idea that the bulk of one's viewers determine the legacy of a piece of media‚ #no matter how close or far away they are from painting the media as it actually is or tries to bw #It's also just bleak (especially from a manga/anime standpoint) that if your work is considered profound and intellectual‚ then any reveal #of something not being deep is grounds for people to completely swap how they think of your work and how they see you as a writer #And any work that's considered 'not actually that deep' from the getgo ends up with people only engaging with it seriously saying stuff like #'I know nothing about it is purposeful or deep but I like it' #and just ends up with prevailing opinion putting down anything percieved as 'good' or 'profound' about the work as a complete fluke

[wormonastringtime]

reminder.

#hi i couldnt think of an awesome caption for all of this so um ill talk in the tags about my thought process #silhouette is forgetting herself. and she knows this. they reflect on this often. this time literally in a mirror. and their face... #its blurry. its obscured. they can see their own tired expression... but can they really see their face? #and the flames. once again burning away at their memories. sil can watch herself forget in real time if she wanted. she's so tired. #she could burn away everything if she wanted. they could keep burning until there's nothing left at all. and that self destructive tendency #is tempting. god it is so tempting to say fuck it and give up. but no they cant. they have a job to do. they usually remind themself to kee #going in the mirror. even when the reflection doesnt always look familiar. but now theres also something else. a new glimmer of hope in #silhouette's otherwise bleak life. a girl. she doesnt know if they can have that happy ending. but she will do anything to keep her safe. #and for now that is enough. sil doesnt know if she will remember her own face or her own name but my fucking god she will not forget lucy's #anyway hi im normal about my ocs 😁 teehee #my art #doodle #digital art #colored sketch #oc tag #silhouette #lucille

[brainrotgoverner]

My favorite scenes from The Demon (1990) cuz Klarion causing THAT much damage as a 5-year-old is hilarious to me

blood warning

BONUS ETRIGAN X BATMAN JUMPSCARE

#blood warning #tw blood #also fuck glenda all my homies hate her #she hurt Klarion 🥺 #I'm his biggest apologist he did nothing wrong #klarion the witch boy #klarion #teekl #klarion bleak #etrigan #jason blood #batman #bruce wayne

[slugandthorn]

The coolest gender thing in the 2009 Japanese video game persona 3 100% how hard they coded shinjiro as the dead mom

#.txt #i got soooo mad in the car driving home thinking about how his drug addiction is essentially the classic anime heart condition. #in that the only side effect of the suppressants is that they will kill him. like? #i realized for the longest time i had assumed the chest pain and sweating came from the drugs but thats. castor. obviously. #it doesnt affect his mood or his awareness its like a mood stabilizer pain relief pill? #its so odd that hes framed as like. being addicted to illegal street drugs. BY THE NARRATIVE. #when its more like hes on the most insane experimental medication that they wont even test on like. rats. #also im not fact checking any of this before posting. so i might be lying about things. #idk if it was all of strega that had trouble controlling their personas but like. chidori was because of the Experimentation. #and shinjis just like. mentally ill coded. in a bad way 😭 #The inability to regulate a mood/stimuli to the point where he can be unsafe to himself or others. #broad ass symptom of disorders that are not treated well. its also interesting that its not brought on by a specific event. #like the childhood fire is there. but you have akihiko right there to directly compare it to. and hes arguably more effected by it all. #and he seems to be coping well 10+ years on like some coping mechanisms are kind of weird (protein) but nothing super out of the ordinary. #so the problem is really the october 4th incident which was just a pure honest to god accident. #the fact that it gets covered up as a car accident does feel like the best like. emotional equivalent. #because it being shinji being unable to control his persona his true representation of himself and it resulting in death is sooooo bleak #and it weighs on him for 2+ years of being suicidal and unhoused until finally he goes through with his suicide by martyrdom. #i lost the plot a little bit on the gender situation with the vague allusions to fraility when story convenient #acting as dorm den mother and cooking and sewing long hair jacket sillhouette reading like a dress #was referring to that before mental illness took over. woman under the influencing this anime boy. #long way of saying i think he should have a over the shoulder ponytail when hes older. and he should have a mood disorder.

[heyclickadee]

It will never not be funny that a large part of Lord Byron’s role in Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell is basically:

Byron: How this weather darkens my spirits, Jonathan! Despair and genius are so often connected. Don’t you think so?

Jonathan Strange: *coked up on mouse tincture (tm), intentionally half out of his mind, screaming at invisible pineapples, starving because he won’t eat, and muttering about fairy mounds* IT WILL BE WRITTEN IN THE TREES

Lord Byron: God, I wish that were me.

#jonathan strange and mr norrell #Jonathan strange #lord Byron #Susanna Clarke spends a good chunk #of the last third or so of the book #dragging Lord Byron for all he’s worth #and I am here for it #he also #to be fair #serves as some much needed comic relief in that section #because Jonathan’s situation is bleak #and Norrell’s is too #in a different way #to say nothing of Arabella #Lady Pole #and poor Stephen Black #all three of whom are just #in a pretty hopeless scenario #so yes #I am here for the Byronic Slander

[eddiediaaz]

i'm feeling so depressed and out of options/motivation/will to do anything that I can't even enjoy the "love you to the core"!!! i hate this shit

#very possibly losing my career because the strikes seem to have changed it forever #the future ia very fucking bleak and I feel like my unemployment benefits will run out before i even have a chance to get a job again #in the industry i mean #and now this medical diagnosis that is my fault and my fault only #30 and no savings nothing in my name #i feel i'm just a waste of space tbh #shut up alie

[chthonic-cassandra]

On whim, mostly because it's so intensely surreal to see the fandom active and other people coming up with these, I tried to count how many separate Dracula darkest timelines I have written and the answer, counting conservatively and excluding edge cases, is at least 18.

#of which compromise is of course the most fully developed #but i think the actual darkest one is the story in which jonathan & the brides are all dead #and mina and dracula are the only survivors #nothing in compromise is remotely that bleak #my writing #dracula

[vamputer]

50 years from now, 100 years from now, the newer generation will ask how we could just sit by and allow a genocide of such magnitude to happen right in front of us, and no one will have an answer for them.

every single person supporting the rogue terrorist state of Israel is another brick in the wall that prevents us from putting a stop to this.

#palestine genocide #palestine #free palestine #free gaza #israel is an apartheid state #it feels so bleak. it feels like nothing if working #because the rich and powerful who back israel can afford to ignore our protests and boycotts #thats why we need to be seriously dedicated in our boycotts. dont support those companies no matter WHAT. #no matter how many years from now i will never fathom how we have allowed them to continue on for this long. never. #vernposting

[elminsters]

being a teenager in the mid 20-teens really was as good as modern teenagers think

#i see tiktoks of like 16 year olds being like #i wish i was a teenager when arctic monkeys peaked!! i wish i was there for the heyday of YA fiction!! #yes you do. it ruled #i was 16 at an arts high school when LiS came out #do u know what that does to a person #teenager culture looks so bleak now it hasn't even been that long since i was a teenager but idk i genuinely feel bad for them #my grade 8 students just seem so lost like there's nothing really made for them anymore

[transamus]

I know I'll feel better after my injection and everything feels so much worse bc I'm late on it but really fuck this whole year it's been actually so bad so far

#like i took an Honest Accounting ov the Good things that have happened this year that arent like. #sullied in retrospect yk. and its like. #cute valentines gift from gabi and collar from gabi. #meanwhile on the Bad end like. #2 year relationship breakup. friend od. cousin suicide. ex took cat in the breakup. #attempted a trip back to where i considered to be home just for no one to want to see me when i was there. #didnt even get to see my first irl jewish friend & peer's grave bc nobody would fucking talk to me. #lost my job bc the group ran out ov money. RIGHT before we were going to go to print too. #so the thing i spent a Year working on i have little to nothing to show for it in terms ov finding Future work. #its all so fucking bleak man.

[suffercerebral]

me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects

#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar #no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new #but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me' #i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term #so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now #so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but #it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out #that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance #so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial #but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal #although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive #i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary #ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness #which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days #and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself #im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles #but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy #and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me #i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this #i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself #im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body #im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up #and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe! #so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please #and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching #between numbness and overwhelming agony #what the fuck am i talking about

[gender-euphowrya]

successful internet personality constantly feeling the gaze of the "THE RISE AND FALL OF ___" video essayists just waiting for them to slip up and crash for content for their next 4 hour video

#like... dgmw it's interesting to hear about some of the shady stuff some people did and how it affected their brand #And them being exposed so people can make informed choices about whether or not to support them is good too #but... damn it must be bleak to build your entire career on other people's failures gkfjfjd #+ it kinda creates a glass house scenario where people just assume there's nothing wrong with You #because you're the guy who calls out others so obviously you wouldn't share any of their flaws #which... sets a weird precedent i would say #like idk someone who's an abuser could start making videos calling Other people abusers and then nobody would suspect Them yk #& like... i am Not talking about sthg like hbomberguy exposing james somerton et al #his videos are about many different topics like games tv shows laughing at right-wingers & flat earthers etc #i mean people whose entire youtube library is filled with stories about successful content creators doing Bad thing and losing their career