#it's part of my senior project

[ominouspositivity-or-else]

my professor: *has the canvas page up* me: sick!!! i wonder what books i need canvas: the syllabus is locked until January 10th at *time the class starts* me: me: i guess this class is top secret then, huh?

#there are many benefits to attending a catholic college #im genuinely wondering if we will be sworn to secrecy about the contents of this class #it's part of my senior project #like okay but im catholic i cant take oaths in secret societies you know this professor #i wonder if there's a non disclosure agreement #where i have to say in writing i will not sue for the emotional damages the university will inflict upon me

[unkillobel]

i need to bitch about my job for a minute in the tags

#ok so a senior role was made available in my team that i could’ve applied for #and there’s two of us in the team so. yknow pretty certain that one of us would get it #it was sort of replacing someone who left who handled a fucktonne of work across two other teams i work with #and ultimately i decided not to apply for the job because 1. the other guy on my team has been there two years longer than i have #and 2. my health is fucking precarious #mental and physical. i already work slightly reduced hours to try and manage my chronic fatigue but even then i have frequent crashes #and whenever my workload gets too much i just shut down. like the worst stress response ever #so my coworker got the job and a hefty pay rise and im like good for him :) #and then he went on leave for 6 weeks so i got handed 60% of his workload #and when you get handed people’s projects you get a good insight into how they work and how they coordinate shit/write documents etc #and not only are these projects a piece of piss compared to the aid programme stuff i’ve been doing #his actual work is like?? not great #i know i’m a perfectionist and i put way too much effort into my documents and reports but #there’s no way this guy is being paid $30k more for this!! #so now i’m like why didn’t i fucking interview for the senior role!! #i have this terrible impostor syndrome even though i’ve been there a year and get good feedback on my projects #part of it because i’m 22 and i am constantly like how the fuck am i here with an arts degree. i don’t know Anything #but shit man. if this guy’s mediocre work is worth a senior role #i have had a couple of job offers with a decent pay bump which is still wild to me. you want to pay me WHAT #<- well aware this is a great ‘problem’ to have #anyway i think i need a pay rise. we’ve just had a mass exodus from our team. i reckon if i threatened to leave they would lift my salary? #but i don’t know if i want to blackmail my manager lmao

[starsarebleeding]

fibs as lil infants <3

ok this started an absolute spiral of calculating their ages lmao but one cool find: the actual program of course study the year Chet was a freshman at Yale! well well well

#otp of all otps ever #mary at 17 in 1987 #chet at 22 in 1970 #jesus fucking christ trying to figure out les bohem's timing is driving me up a goddamn wall #like there are all these little throwaway clues which are AMAZING to have as orienting details #i.e. mary going into biochem at yale to follow in chet's footsteps we all love that one #but yeah so chet directed a play in his senior year and gave harry hamlin his first part #harry hamlin graduated in 1974 #which means the very fucking earliest and i'm honestly being generous here he could have started is 1970 #but that gives chet a decade between graduating from his BSc and getting to the events of episode 5 #like he's gotta get his masters AND phd AND get enough cred to LITERALLY LEAD THE MOST TOP SECRET SCIENCE PROJECT IN THE COUNTRY #in TEN YEARS #even if you say he like super killed it in his grad studies and somehow condensed an MA and PhD into like 5 yrs or something #that still seems insane #but u know what #THATS MY BOY #MSC 1972 #PHD 1976 #poached by the government immediately #meets mary in 1977 when she's 7 #i think it works #but oh my god #why do i know so much about harry hamlin's college education like what the fuck is my life lollllghsjkgdhjkgdfbjk #one one TWO three five e i g h t #1 1 2 3 5 8 #ALSO NO WONDER HE GOT ALL THE FUCKING LADIES OKAY!!!!! LOOK AT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! #and before you ask yes i have done these calculations before #i just redid them and was newly baffled

[amochi]

Anyways you guys wanna see my lesbian werewolf vampire girlies

#extreme WIP rn it’s my senior thesis project #but I love they #my art #thoughts #this is part of my master plan of becoming an oc artist #werewolf vampire lesbians

[magentagalaxies]

idk why my brain decided folding laundry while listening to rollercoaster by bleachers at 11:26pm was the perfect conditions to finally process the fact that other girls is going to be finished in less than three weeks but im genuinely gonna lay motionless on the floor letting all these feelings wash over me rn????

#i'm just. no one will ever be able to comprehend how much this show truly means to me #even *i* can barely comprehend how much this show means to me #i keep trying to put it into words. the show itself is me trying to put that feeling into words #but it always sounds like hyperbole when i say other girls is the most important thing i have ever done and may ever do #most of my audience is only seeing the final 1% of what this project has been for me #and that's the part people should see bc it's the finished product #but also like. this is the same show i thought was going to genuinely kill me when i was eighteen #i worked on this for three years because every time i got close to completing it something took it away #and i realized it's more empowering to remake it on my own terms than give up on it even when it hurts #this show has seen me through my school almost being shut down. my first major depressive episode (and my whole recovery process!) #and that's not even to mention having to cut off multiple toxic friendships with the very first cast i had in 2020 #when i got into my dream school senior year all i felt was anxious because i thought other girls was never going to happen #and i thought that meant i would never make it as a comedian (don't ask me how that works depression makes you believe weird things) #and in the years since i've found my way at this school and realized my worth as a human being doesn't depend on other girls #and that other girls belongs to me and not the other way around #and i was able to take this source of shame. this perceived failure #and turn it into a production far bigger than i could've imagined back in 2019 #it gave me a chance to connect with a cast and crew full of some of the most incredible people i've ever met #and most importantly i'm able to make the show i wish i could've seen when i was young and alone #other girls is just a love letter to my younger self. like even though i know you can't hear me i just want to tell you you'll be okay #anyway side note i'm gonna get to talk to paul bellini again tomorrow #SPECIFICALLY because he said he wanted to talk to me before other girls is out bc he thinks it's really cool and wants to hear more #and he asked me to send him the video as soon as it's up #so year other girls is honestly the wildest ride i've ever been on. going from crying in my room at 3 a.m. over hating the ending #to chatting about the production in less than 3 weeks with one of my comedy heroes #nothing is ever going to top this

[pepprs]

hi mutuals. ive been gone all day in capstone hell in part bc my advisor is basically making me restructure the entire thing and it’s literally due on saturday. also if i look at a screen for another second my eyes will explode out of my face i think. like screens are so weird and 3d to me rn and it hurts my eyes and is too up close but also im pretty sure i have a lazy eye now so that’s probably why lol. but I have a week of this left at least atp except i can’t possibly ahve a week of this left because i literalt graduate a week from today. i feel like setting everything on fire

#purrs #what is it with me and my teachers / professors changing my entire project at the last minute LOL. throwback to ap art i. senior year of #high school when i was so fucking stressed out and depressed about graduating (hmmm sound familiar 🤔💕) and i had spent literally ALL YEAR do #doing my stupjd breadth and composition. or whatever it was like the names of the 2 stupid categories w head to do and i spent the whole yEA #year doing paintings for my compositon and i didn’t finish them bc i bit off more than i could chew (hmm sound familiar 🤔💕) and got permissi #permission from her to do my last like 3-4 paintings as collages in my sketchbook and then i had to give her mt sketchbook to like physicall #physically handle them and grade them (which was mortifying bc mt sketchbooks are like my diary basically) and after she gave it back she sa #sat me own and told me that she thought i had a better chance of getting a high score if in just used my sketchbook collages + some RANDOM #SKETCHBOOK PAGES that i had just been doing for fun and in my free time. instead of the paintings. thst i had spent all year fucking #murdering myself over. and iwas so angry but i went with it and i only got a 4 LMFAOOOOOOOO like this is just a repeat of that where he’s li #like you have to redo your entire fucking soi and break down everything etc etc and i swear to god i’ll get like a C. and at this point i do #don’t care. i almost broke down crying to him i was trying so hard to hold it together but i was telling him how i am worried about changing #so much of this right now not because I don’t care but because im exhausted and i DESPERATELY want and need to be done bc it’s been like #2 weeks of this at least. and he said nothing to that (in part bc i didn’t even look at him when i said it bc i was too embarrassed and bc i #said something else right after to lighten the mood bc i was too embarrassed) but like. lol still. this all sucks TREMENDOUSLY. i literally #am graduating in one week and it feels like i still have a month left and i have no fucking idea honwim gonna do this bc the stupid paper i #have been trying to write for the last 2 days he basically told me i have to redo in its entirety AND THE THING IS ITS 10 FUCKING PERCENT OF #MY ETIRE GRADE LKKE THIS IS SO STUPID HELPPPPPPPPPPPP help. this is so stupid and my faculty mentors can’t help me and im like ok maybe i ai #will go lie in the street right now. also not counting seeing glimpses of my roommates i haven’t been around another human being in person I #in a week and 2 days and ive only left my room 3 #3x in that time span too all to go like take out the trash or some shit. so im absolutely done with everything LOL there is no way this #project is happening and i want to just dump the entire thing unfinished and say please just take it i can’t do it anymore i literally can’t #him: don’t even worry about the time rn. just pretend you have infinite time. me: crying cat meme. LIKE SIR I WOULD LIKE TO BE DONE THIS #VERY INSTANT! HAVE I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH!!!!!!! HAVE I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s the way i have literally created THREE #fucking collections of literature in the course of doing this project and it still isn’t good enough LOLLL like i appreciate you trying to h #help me do well and give me time etc bu you have to understand i need to be done with undergrad right this second or i will explode

[that-was-anticlimactic]

hahahha what if i pulled an all nighter tonight to catch up and get a head start on homework hahahahahahhah unless...

#i'm so stressed #i'm starting to like Feel the weight of all my classes and all my final projects that are coming up and ow little time i have and practicum #job and wanting to have a life outside of homework i feel like i can't do this anymore hhahaahhahhaha it's all so overwhelming #not to have a breakdown on main but like #a part of me just wants to tell my family that i can't come home for thanksgiving break but they'll get so mad at me and my dad's #fiftieth birthday is on thanksgiving and he wants me to be there but imma have to spend the whole time driving back and forth from mom's to #dad's when will i have time for homework and edtpa and senior seminar and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #i have bible study tonight but i really don't want to skip it since i didn't go last week and i know i need the Jesus time like Really need #it but then i don't have as much time for homework and i need to shower because practicum and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #sorry #i'm stressed #i'll delete this later

[bluehairedspidey]

dont post about my personal life on here much these days but bro i am straight up not having a good time right now

#blog #like im not Terribly behind on school rn but im still not exactly on top of things either #and me even remotely keeping up with work and school is coming at the cost of my personal wellbeing cuz im having to put that off #i havent cleaned the house in god knows how long and it feels gross and makes me sad #idek how regularly im showering at this point #havent remembered/been able to take my antidepressants in several days #and im two days late on doing my bf and i's t shots #and my sleep schedule sucks #and honestly the worst part is that im only working part time and taking ONE class right now #and im still struggling this much #and i dont even know what i wanna do with college or my life #and i should technically be a senior right now #hhhhhhhh #its Really hard to figure out what you wanna do with your life when youve never had the chance to do anything ever #anyways i have a project i should be working on so. i guess i should do that

[queen0funova]

We finally printed the school literary magazine and man I love it so so so so so much

#art #poetry #stories #I made this thing! #Me! #(sure there were others as well #but I was a part of it! So much so that i got special titles next to my name in the staff list!) #!! #!!! <3 #my beloved #I've literally been taking photos and posting them to my Snapchat story with excerpts from stuff in here #(that's Totally not a ruse to get people to buy it) #Though the stuff in here is so cool and i want to share it with the other people at my school #and it's my senior project #this thing is literally letting me graduate! #I love you all to fragments

[steviescrystals]

i graduated high school 3 years ago and i’m still not over the fact that NO ONE TOLD ME the district would delete all of our school accounts like a month later and now every paper, presentation, project, etc. i made on that account from 5th-12th grade is just gone forever 🫠

#ik a lot of people couldn’t have cared less but they could’ve given a heads up for the people who did?? #like i had so many things from high school i was so proud of and even stuff from middle school that was just fun to look back on #and i never saved it to any other accounts bc i didn’t think i had to and now it’s all just gone #i have physical copies of a very select few papers that i had to turn in in person but that’s it #special shoutout to my final IWA from ap seminar sophomore year it was my favorite #i wrote it on gentrification and it got me a 5 on the ap test and i loved it sm i made so many of my teachers in irrelevant classes read it #ALSO even if it wasn’t sentimental this stuff could’ve helped me after high school too?? #i read catcher in the rye for english senior year and i had a huge doc full of notes for the paper i wrote on it afterwards #and then freshman year of college i decided to reread it as part of this semester long project i did in my rhetoric class #and the whole time i was taking notes i was like ‘wow it’s crazy how i FUCKING DID THIS ALREADY’ #god. anyway. i’m so mad i will never forgive whoever decided on this system #if you’re in high school save your schoolwork to your personal account i beg #lj.txt

[southislandwren]

just took an exam in 20 minutes without even reading 2/3 of the content and still got an 83%. this is why every faculty member of my department lets me in on gossip and trusts me. i am sooo fucking smart

#sat in plant manager's office for like an hour listening to him yell at a grad student for doing stupid shit #(justified because who does an ice cream research project without knowing you have to fucking pasteurize the mix before freezing it.....) #then i sat in lactation prof's office for 30 minutes listening to her perspective on the department drama #then i went and killed that astro exam. and soon i will depart for the disturbed concert with my friend in tow #tomorrow will be rough i think. 8am class with a quiz. then mixing ingredients. then work. then helping bestie with a spreadsheet #actually my whole week is kinda rough #friday i have prep at 9. clarinet at 10. class at 11. freezing IC at 12. work at 3. dog sitting immediately after work #BUT on saturday im going to see boytoy's cousin's play and i think we'll probably go out for food or something too #so like a proper date kind of. also i WILL hold his hand in the car ride there&back he is simply too soft and comfortable to not hold hands #also while i was in plant managers office he was there sometimes and he stood like right next to me and i couldve made contact but i didnt< #we are so good at keeping life and work separate #anyway. the best part of being a super senior is the trust i have from the grown ups and my classmates #and the worst part of being a super senior is having all the responsibilities that go along with that trust #school post

[bluebellthesponge]

my friend saw trolls 3 over break and we were talking about it over lunch and then *tried* to sing better place and we were soooo in sync (hahaha) jk we were just playfully singing it, but omg i was so excited when she said she saw it, now she can understand my trolls references/singing references/random ass memes, anyways we listened to mount rageous today also during lunch, and then somebody else saw it over break as well and said that nsync appearing at the end reminded them of me

#i am so glad trolls 3 is a recognized master perfect #people are seeing the light and watching it #bluebell talks #anyways good night lovely people #i am about to try and finish up a project i didn’t do all over break until the end #it’s due before class tomorrow and luckily i calculated i will #try and work on it a block and then lunch blocks #a block we are working on small things so i will have more time after i am done #the project itself i just hate it so much #i forgot two aspects of it 😑😑😑 #ik it’s my fault and i should’ve paid closer attention but man idgaf #it’s fucking pe class don’t know why we need to do this shit #also if she tried to give me shit i am gonna say my dad had surgery for his cancer over break and i needed to help him #i mean that part is tru so yeah #i have an a- anyways i no the class so if it goes down #first semester grade can balance it out #like bro if they try to fail me gym in senior i am gonna be pissed #ain’t no way i am gonna take another class to fill out its credit #i want to take my two study halls and art 3 and photo 2 semester 2 classes and be over with hs #i am tired of this shit ok i don’t care enough to work in a dumb ass pe project

[mybraindumps]

Currently questioning my self worth cause this senior did so much better job than me for the same task.

1:00 pm 01.12.23

#that's the thing she is senior #she literally mentors hundreds of people ffs #but i am not anywhere even close #this is the good part #you're the junior most person on this project #you'll eventually deal with even more stupider copy so enjoy this while it lasts #if you don't want to be the smartest person in the room then you need to accept not being the best #its not like you were happy when you were the smartest person in the room #shup up #my brain dumps

[cygnusxxii]

.

#deep abiding disquiet #four days left of high school (!) #and still two ap tests to go (woefully unprepared) plus cs and english projects #and maybe part of what’s disquieting is my conviction that there’s no work at the end of senior year fighting with the fact that there is #and maybe it’s anxiety about college (did i choose the right place etc) #i’m sure both of those play a part #but i think mostly i don’t want to go #i’ve loved it here. i’ve screamed and cried and hated everything and had terrible times but throughout it all i’ve loved it here #i don’t want to go #i was happy to leave my elementary school and thrilled to leave my middle school. so even though it’s my third school i’m so unprepared #i’ve never had to leave somewhere i liked #most of my friends are my grade they’re coming with me to college (in a figurative sense; only one actually is) #but one of my sophomore friends doesn’t really have friends other than us. and i don’t want to leave him alone #things are so hard for him already #and i don’t want to leave my computer science teacher behind #he’s been so much more to me than just a cs teacher #though he’s a great one #he taught me i could enjoy actually learning cs/coding instead of thinking it’s cool but hating the action itself #i have him to thank for any success in calc 2 this year #he encouraged my interest in philosophy and has been endlessly willing to answer my aristotle questions #he holds himself to true catholic values and so helped me forgive the grudge i held against catholicism after middle school #and (though i’m lutheran if i’m anything) through that started me down my own path of seeking god #he’s provided guidance and reassurance so often over the past two years #in him i saw an adult able to juggle stem (math/cs) and humanities (philosophy/theology) which i didn’t know could be done #i saw an adult who has friends which i didn’t know could be done #what he’ll readily confess to when discussing philosophy is this belief that love is central to everything #theres a hopeful and beautiful world he’s revealed to me through that. i don’t want to go

[badgertracksart]

Portfolio advice, from a lead who hires Concept Artists

(This was originally a twitter thread I wrote before the site self imolated, hense it's strange structure.) I wrote this after a weekend of portfolio reviews - 1. Like a maths exam, please please show your working. I want to see thumbs options, mid options and of course a final design.

2. Arrange your portfolio, I don't want to bounce about between subject matter and pipeline. Your portfolio's narrative should be as strong as your work... 3. Please make worlds that excite the viewer, make them want to go in and explore them, explain to them the interesting parts of the town, or the way the character's hat unfolds. How will this draw the viewer in? 4. As I've said before the majority of your project work is explanatory not mood, make sure your portfolio contains explanatory work. Explained here -

5. A lot of beautiful post apocolyptic paintings, , but 80% of realistic games and film, we just give the environment artists photo ref, they are capable artists in their own right. Different work in stylised where you do need to create rules for how things can be translated. 6. Production art contains call out sheets, material references and flat graphics. This doesn't have to be your final image, but it should support it.

7. Design characters on a swatch(es) of the environment they will be viewed in. Not on white. I make swatch backgrounds from screenshots, it avoids assumptions that damage readability. 8. Reverse of this, put people in your environments, show me the scale.

9. It's not a deal breaker for a review, but if you intend to get a job, please show me your work on a screen larger than a smartphone (print outs probably the cheapest option with the best battery life). 10. Please have your contact details clearly visible, and by that I mean email address, I will not pass your social media contact on, I cannot input your form into my tracking system. EMAIL ADDRESS emblazoned and bake it in, sometimes recruiters do funky stuff to pdfs

11. Your portfolio will never feel done, not to you anyway. You will have learnt from your latest pieces and want to apply it to older work. But we know art is a journey. Send your portfolio anyway. I've been in the industry 10+ years and my portfolio is still not 'finished'. 12. If you are applying to an environment centric Concept Art position then please vary your times of day! Golden hour is cool but show me some happy sunny days, looming overcast days, what about at night? Vary your weather too! Sunny snowy day? Rainy Spring day? Stormy night?

13. If you are applying for a character centric Concept Art role then please ensure your portfolio shows a variety of body types and ethnicities. 14. Designing characters for games? Please show back views and feet (!) Many potfolios contain only front views. This is a problem because:

You haven't shown you are considering the design from all angles.

In many games rear view is the main view.

Stop cropping feet.

15. If you are entry / graduating and looking at Portfolios to compare content and standard of yr own work too, look at hired grad/junior artists as opposed to seniors Seniors and leads often have old or personal work in their portfolio which isnt representative of the day job. 16a. Show clearly the intended use case for your Concept Art. Mention the game type in the description. Are these player character designs for a 3rd person adventure game? Then more back views please. Bonus points for diagetic ways of showing health / equipment / role etc.

16b. Are these designs for an FPS? Then really the player view of the gun needs to sell the player style/ choices, in an FPS your weapons are almost your character. Are these world designs? What's the view distance? For an RTS your shapes need to read from above & a distance. 16c. The lack of clarification means I am judging the design in isolation, which both harms the design (you might be considering the backview of a char as the main adventure character.) Or an NPC, their waist up expressions may be important for conveying exposition and mechanics.

16d. Concept art is not separate from gameplay, great concept art serves the game team before it is a good illustration.

17. Play games. A variety of games. Think about them. IMO to be a good concept artist you need to understand the common language & references used by your peers. Also understand the principles and common language your audience are used to. FPS design rules are v.diff from RTS.

18. There are many skills that are needed in concept art, please show them. For example: Graphic design - logos, liveries, typographic use etc. VFX concepts - Abilities, Ambience, motion concepts. Architectural knowledge - How buildings are built! & more but I'm out of space :O

#gamedev #conceptart #advice #careeradvice #hiring

[bioswear]

I’m really fucking thankful I didn’t end up going into the animation industry like 😬😬😬

#i am so glad I’ve made myself basically irreplaceable within my team #personal txt #I’m seeing all of these animators suddenly jobless because dirty rotten corpos decided to cancel ANOTHER in progress project #or whatever corpo bullshit it is this time #and like it sucks so hard #i can’t imagine not having that kind of job security yeah #like yeah the game industry is competitive but at least for the most part we’re stable #and I already have two MASSIVE triple A titles with my name in the credits PLUS a seniority role so like #god fucking bless haha 😬😭😩🙏