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lomlhotchner · 1 year

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❛ faking it! ❜ … aaron hotchner

↠ the heart wants what it wants masterlist

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༘♡ ⋆｡˚ SUMMARY : the mission is on, act like a rich loving couple, dig some information, catch the unsub. seem easy enough right?

༘♡ ⋆｡˚ WARNINGS : high tensions 😫 mutual pining, cursing, they’re shy okay, the plot doesn’t really make sense (i tried), english isn’t my first language!

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ HANA’S NOTES : here we goooo!!!!! thank you so much for yalls patience 😭😭 this is part two to for zipper but you don’t need to read the it to understand this! i am so sorry from the bottom of my heart if this doesnt make sense lmao i dont know what i was going for. hope yall enjoy 💗

“Remember the plan?”

You took a deep breath and nodded your head, “Yeah, go in there, bond with the rich, find the unsub, piss him off so that he’ll take the bait, and then lure him outside so that he can get his ass kicked.” you stated confidently.

Hotch raised his eyebrows at you, amused “When does the ass kicking happen?”

You shrugged your shoulders, a smirk playing on your lips, “Whenever I get the chance.”

He scoffed out a laugh, making you grin at the sound. You arrived at the elevator, sending the elevator operator a warm smile in greeting before stepping inside. He was an old man with grey hair, he had wrinkles and the most comforting smile on his face.

“Where are you two lovebirds headed?” he cheekily asked while looking at the both of you with a knowing look.

If only he knew.

Hotch smiled at Stan—the nametag says, “Dinner.”

Stan nodded his head and press the respected level before sending you a warm smile, "May I say you look stunning in that dress.”

You shyly laughed and lowered your head, but before you could thank him, Hotch’s deep voice cut you off, “Doesn’t she?” he spoke with the softest tone you have ever heard and when you look up at him, he was already looking down at you with the certain look in his eyes that anyone can decipher as fondness.

No, he’s just being in character. Don’t be delusional.

Hotch has been acting different with you since the undercover task began. Although the whole point of it was to make everything up and act, you can’t help but think that he was just showing a part of himself where no one has the privilege to know. In easier words, you think he wasn’t really acting.

So does that mean the almost kiss…. ?

Do you really want to go there?

You weren't sure.

You guys continue to stare at each other not noticing the operator’s grin. He has seen a handful of couples in this part of the job and he knows when he sees fools in love.

The elevator dinged, indicating you arrived at the respected floor. You guys broke from the little staring contest, your cheeks heating up. Sending Stan a smile before walking out of the elevator.

The venue was enchanting, to say the least. Bright elegant chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Beautiful flower arrangements placed on the table. People in gorgeous dresses and suits and suddenly you felt underdressed compared to them. Because this isn’t actually your real lifestyle, but for them, this is just a normal Tuesday.

Hotch interrupted your thoughts by bend down so he was level with your ear, “I didn’t get the chance to say this earlier, but you look absolutely gorgeous.” he whispered before standing up to his full height.

You couldn’t even count how many times you were flustered tonight. Your body was all tingly with excitement as you looked up at him, “Thank you, honey. You don’t look too bad yourself.” you teased.

A smirk formed on his lips. You could see his Adams apple bob at how hard he swallowed and maybe it’s the lights, but you can vividly make out his rosy cheeks after your comment.

He subtly tries to hide his face in the crook of your neck, giving it a soft kiss for the extra effect. “Did you turn on your coms?” he mumbled.

Your eyes widen a little. right, you’re undercover. You move to your ear and click the device resulting in it turning on with a beep.

The audio cracks for a moment before JJ’s voice appeared, “Y/N? Hotch? Can you guys hear us?”

“Yeah, we can hear you JJ.”

“Okay, good. Any signs of the unsub?” she asked.

“No, not yet.” you answered, giving the place a once over for any suspicious acts.

“Nope.” Emily sounded through the coms. Followed by the other’s negative response of the unsub’s whereabouts.

“Alright, everyone be cautious. We know the unsub is unstable, keep an eye out for any weird behaviors.” Hotch ordered as he led you to the ballroom.

He took two champagne glasses and handed you one of them. You sent him a small as gratitude. Your hand was shaking slightly when you bought the glass to your lips.

Hotch took notice of that and rub his hand at the small of your back, “Relax.” he smiled.

You shyly nodded your head as you both moved to one of the tables. Taking a seat that Hotch has gracefully pulled out for you.

"You okay?" Hotch asked, sitting beside you.

"Yeah, kinda excited."

"Excited to catch a murderer?" he raised his eyebrows.

"That, but also this." you gestured to the ballroom you guys are in, "Everything is just so fancy, and pretty! I can't even remember the last time I actually got ready and wear a dress." you chuckled, not realizing that your hand has gravitated to the tip of Hotch's fingers, softly playing with it.

Hotch felt like he was going to melt at how adorable you are, plus the feeling of your hands on his skin? He's a goner. He has always known that you were a touchy person, having to see you hug or link your arms with the rest of the squad except him was not entirely unnoticeable. So when he gets the chance to have this pleasure, he isn’t sure what to do.

As you continued to talk about … —okay, he isn’t entirely paying attention— he has a small smile played on his lips. He just can't tear his eyes away from you. His eye move to your cheeks, your eyes, the flutter of your eyelashes. Have you always been this pretty?

"Hotch? Did you hear what I said?" you tap the inside of his palm, trying to get his attention back to whatever daydream he went.

Hotch could feel his cheeks at getting caught red handed, "Yeah, yeah, sorry just got distracted."

You almost laughed at the absurdity, "By what? Me? You play this part too good Hotch, cause I can almost believe you're in love with me." you eyes widen slightly at your word vomit, you instantly regretted what you said but Hotch surprised you by laughing along.

"Oh honey, you have no idea." he softly chuckled.

God, I hate how he can act so good.

Your eyes move to surveillance the room as a distraction and noticed something, "Okay, don't look right now but the table on our left have been staring at us for the past 5 minutes."

Hotch subtly nodded his head and glanced at the table. It was a group of men in suits staring at you guys.

You. Specifically.

Oh.

He clenched his jaw and protectively wrapped his arms around your waist. Your stomach fluttered at the sudden contact. "We should split up and dig more information. I'm going to those gentlemen, and you can scout out the ladies over there."

You cleared your throat, brushing off your bashfulness, "Yeah, that's- that's a good idea." you stood up and brush the wrinkles of your dress. "See you later, handsome." you boldly left a kiss on his cheek, softly patting his shoulder.

Hotch felt like he was in a daze as he stared at you walking away. His tongue poke his cheek, trying to fight back a smile from forming when you sneak a peek around your shoulder, send him a cheeky smile and a wink.

He composed himself before he trudged to the table, “Evening, gentleman.” he greeted, noticing how they all pretend that they weren’t staring at his date. Fake date. “How are you guys enjoying the event?”

Enjoy drooling at my date? he wanted to add.

On the other side of the room, you have to control yourself from getting overly sheepish at the compliments the girls are giving you guys.

Both of you guys.

You and Hotch. Together.

“How long have you guys been with each other?”

“You guys look so good together."

"The ring is beautiful."

"He's so fine, girl. You are so lucky,"

"Are you joking? He's lucky one. Look at her, she's gorgeous."

The compliments are making you blush, "Thank you, ladies." you smiled, glancing at Hotch absentmindedly.

They were right, he is fine.

You shook your head, remembering the real reason you are here. "So. do you guys know the host personally?"

The girl on your right, —Barbara you think, "Oh no, I just work for them. But this one," she nudged the girl beside her, "works as a personal assistant for the host's mom."

Your eyebrows rose at the new information, "Oh? The pay's probably good huh?"

She chuckled, "I don't want to say much but it is definitely better than working as an accountant. If you exclude the constant bickering between her and her son in law."

That peeked your interest, but before you can dig up more information, Barbara spoke, "Oh my god. Your husband is literally head over heels for you. He won't stop ogling you!"

All of you subconsciously turned your head at the direction she was looking at.

Your eyes meet Hotch's and low and behold, he was already looking at you. And at the sudden addition of eyes his own widened as he shy away from the attention.

The sight made you grin.

The girls giggled and moved their conversation to a different topic. But you can’t help yourself from taking a peak at Hotch again. You both made eye contact, sharing a flustered smile.

Okay. What the fuck’s that about.

Countless of thoughts running through your head. The interaction have caught Emily’s attention as you make eye contact with her. What was that? Her face wearing a shocked, questionable look, as she teasingly smirked.

You subtly shrugged your shoulders. I have no fucking clue.

If this is going on for the whole night, you dont know how much your heart can take.

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countthelions · 2 months

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One sleeve down, another to go ✨

#and the collar to finish bhT AAAA IM SO EXCITED!!!!!#its looking EXACTLY as i was hoping for ;;#the 3/4ths sleeve length is so perfect for this look too #pray for me that i have just enough yarn too XD #i feel like it's gunna be close #knitting #sweater knitting #knitblr #lionknits

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kithj · 2 months

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i've been trying to order this book since like early february and two separate bookshops have cancelled the order on me now.... please.....

#i did NOT pay that price btw i am not doing all that #first time it was like $30. then they refunded my order saying their stock count was wrong which like fair enough i get it #now i ordered it for a lot cheaper. but apparently its been lost in the post. and they have refunded my order #just tell me to fuck off please #this tracking number they gave me for the second one says it got delivered in a town over from me but also #i think they just gave me the wrong tracking number bc there's no way it Teleported across the country and got delivered in 1 day #so im hopeful it might still show up this week...............#please pray for my lesbian book

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madhushala · 5 months

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she's talking on a call with her parents about how it was her luck and gods will what got her into this college who's gonna tell her of course no one because you know 🤡🤡

#i can't believe things can get so unfair even in the education system when its literally about someone's career #roommate takes everything so casually she's just the worst person academically i encountered #and i don't have the authority to say who belongs to which place but it really hurt doesn't it #there are kids giving their everything working hard and all praying screaming to get climbed upon my someone #who spent their first year crying about missing home and not studying not even a minute under the name of not being able to adjust #then how did she suddenly adjust now how is she going on group studies now its all a joke to her #and thats why she failed this year yeah it was predictable #there were friends' friends i know who were put out and had to ask how much did she score #well ill tell you A FUCKING 347 in neet #CAN YOU BELIEVE IT #do you think she deserves to come in a medical stream?#and no she's not economically unwell for most i can say she's everything better than me #and god forbid i speak #im not against whatever thenpolitics run around i don't have enough knowledge i don't hate anyone #and im not taking anyone's right out of their platter as if i even have the right #but sometimes i see people like her and it makes me wanna cry #if they aren't at fault neither ae we.right?#but i hope she becomes someone better #does something i hope she turns out a good doctor or whatever she wants #please don't waste this seat

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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months

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Oh boy I can't wait to get 5 hours of sleep before this gp 🌚

#fernando. im gonna need you to pull out a banger performance today #to make me waking up worth it #hes gonna win the race guys.......#forgot to draw him with a crown but tnats fine because hes gonna win #if not im gonna need to draw myself au comfort art 😭😭😭😭😭#but god i really hope its noy a boring race(for me) cause ill just be morose and pass out for 4 hours #I WANNA BE HAPPY AGAIN 🥺 LIKE ZANDVOORT #hey guys remember that 15 years ago he won from starting 15 place- dont worry about the circumstances behind that #but ugh i guess i try to think about how good his starts are #like p5 wasnt that promising 2 race ago but hey look where we go #*got #sorry but i am kinda just manifesting a ferr//ari fuck-up and me//rc of course #nothing else matters as long as nandos on top 👏👏👏👏👏👏#my mclaren boy isnt even up there either so :((((#MANIFESTING PLEASE #sorry i am tiresd and delusional and am resigning myself to so little sleep 😭😭😭😭#i gotta be positive in some form!#im tired enough that i really am considering praying to my fernando poster HAHAHAHAH 😭😭😭😭#about to kneel down i swear to god #catie.rambling.txt

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toastsnaffler · 6 months

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sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests...#theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man #it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing #eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED #and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself #by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others #it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless #ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!)#but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking #and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk #oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao #and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3 #voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries #that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them #and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long #+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc #and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it #to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍#anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite #if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^)#.vent #.diaries

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novelconcepts · 2 years

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Paper girls was one of the most honest genuine portrayals of being a 12 year old girl I've ever seen. Even apart for them fact all this shit is happening around them they are still 12 year olds with 12 year old problems.

The period scene in particular was one of the best, truest scenes I've ever seen. It was beautiful, funny, awkward. It was perfect.

It is so fucking authentic. Everyone rightly leans on how powerful the performances are, but you also get such a range in the writing. The period scene, the sleepover scene, the gentle bickering, the in-your-face meltdowns, the gremlin run up the stairs--it's all so perfectly tuned to what kids are like. And it never talks down to them; the rare time an adult tries to imply a situation is over their heads, they're instantly shot down. Because kids around that age are smart. They're learning who they are, how the world works, what their individual moral compass looks like, and it means they don't get things right every time, but they're capable. They can in one moment be reassuring and kind, and the next snappish and closed-off. This show allows room for that without ever feeling like a deviation from character, which is...frankly really impressive.

It always strikes me--in the best way possible--that these girls are all allowed to be mean. They're allowed to be catty, to be vulgar, to say the wrong thing with good intentions (Tiff pointing out KJ's missed her puppy's whole life), or the barbed thing because they're just being a dick (Mac's "you don't have to talk all the time" followed by KJ snickering). They aren't forced into stereotypical boxes, true, but they also aren't forced to be Sweet and Pretty and Kind. They can be those things, sure; when Erin's falling apart, everyone's there to catch her, and when Tiff's walkies are stolen, Mac's got her back, and when Mac is facing mortality, KJ won't let her do it alone or give up on herself. But they're also not always gentle with one another. A lot of the time, they butt heads. Sometimes they punch each other in the face. Sometimes they have to apologize and mean it for the friendship to continue, and it strengthens their bond every time. Sometimes they're stupidly reckless, lobbing the single brain cell from one girl to the next: Tiff running after the backpack, Mac going off on her own in the middle of the night, KJ stealing the motorbike, Erin getting drunk at a party. And sometimes they're so level-headed in the face of panic. They are all allowed to be incredibly nuanced, so full of life and hope and fear and anger. They're never dumbed down, even when they act like dipshits. I cannot remember the last show that not only took into account what historical periods were actually like, but what young girls are actually like to this degree. I will be gutted if we don't get a pickup, because, Jesus, imagine the growth in coming seasons.

#ask #paper girls #paper girls spoilers #i am literally interested only in thinking about this show and my grief for it is enormous #the arcs! the depth and weight every character is given without ever feeling forced!#the plot is not without its flaws it's true--there are holes and some confusing elements #but i am so confident further seasons would smooth a lot of that out #the first run was about establishing this world and in the world of paper girls everything is so fucking bonkers #that what REALLY matters is these four kids #if we're not on board with them nothing else will ever stick #so the first season did the right thing. the smart thing. in fleshing out these flawed wonderful characters and making them so human #that even from their first scenes you have a sense of what you're working with--but you still only know enough to be hooked #and the rest of the season is about 'looking a little deeper' and seeing how many layers each of them possess #it's a slow burn without ever feeling slow and it doesn't talk down to them at all and i! am! furious! at the idea that it got cut short #i am absolutely praying legendary knows what they're doing #i mean. they've spent money retaining the rights right out the gate and announcing it's in need of a new home. that gives me some hope #i just really really want them to prove me right on that count #because these girls have so much further to fly and GOD this cast is perfect. i would be heartbroken to lose them after all they've given

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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 3 months

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“hey so there’s been a bunch of exposures recently but we’re gonna have the volunteer party this week bc it’s outdoors so we’ll be fine. yeah it’s a bunch of people all talking maskless face to face in relatively close proximity but we’re outside so any transmission would of course be impossible” be so fucking for real

#i love this place i love volunteering there. they have air purifiers around the center and tell people in no other words that if they’re #feeling unwell in the slightest they shouldn’t come in. they’re offering free tests to anyone exposed. they’re doing so much more than so #many other places and a lot of times it’s a place im able to relax a bit #but im just. exhausted. a week from tomorrow will be the three year anniversary of my dad dying from covid so im already in a bad place #plus covid in general is a trigger for me because. yknow. i watched it slowly strangle the life from my father until he was a grey #breathless husk who couldn’t walk three steps or say three words without panting. and that was when we made him go to the hospital #and then the next time he came home it was just his ashes in a bag #but it’s been four years. five if you count the early cases that popped up in 2019. and we’re still dealing with this shit #im just tired of it. im too exhausted to have a full sobbing shaking breakdown so ive gone to the other end of the spectrum and just feel #heavy and hollow. i should probably have a big cry but i don’t have the tears or energy #vent tw #im just hoping my n95 and the air purifiers were enough to keep me from contracting it at all. the worry is the n95 could’ve been loose and #sometimes the metal on the nose loosens slightly but the mask was pretty new overall so im hoping it worked to its full capacity and kept #out any covid molecules so that i didn’t contract any #only time will tell i suppose. in the mean time #im just praying a lot bc that’s the only control i have. i will be saying the shema whenever i get too stressed about it

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow #but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done #and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird #but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow #so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏#i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood #was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone #ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and #hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy #i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better #god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely #focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony #so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno #lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done #to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself #sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough #lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime #so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha #back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies #oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad #tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire #tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh #unrelated

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seal-berry · 9 months

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listening to game grumps remixes and realizing it been 10 years since i was a sad 16 year old incredibly fucked up deeply closeted suicidal kid stuck at my parents house and being taken back to that particular headspace is insane. i feel like i havent changed much its more like ive just slowly stripped away all the religious trauma and poorly managed anxiety but its insane that 16 year old me was like. haha. everything is absolutely awful and i want to die but if i get my 20-40 minutes of internet funnyman time daily i will be ok. it was definitely just refreshing and nice to hear from adults out there living and not constantly talking about Our Lord Jesus Christ and why Everything you do is Wrong because that was basically the whole bubble i was stuck in. (holy shit i barely think about it now but before i truly had enough self confidence to deconvert it literally felt like i was living an awful double life between irl and online, which i think is probably a common sentiment but god i forgot what its like to be in that constant self-monitoring place.) i think a lot of it was just wishing i had anything deeper than surface level friendships at the time and ALSO a deeply entwined gender envy for both arin and dan getting to be career silly guys. truly the funnyman was in me all along i simply had to nurture his feral puppyboy spirit and also build the habit of beating the shit out of neurotic thoughts. which all does still go out the window if i have to do socialization in person but hey ill take being able to be an actual person in any capacity or medium ngl being locked up in your own head and having literally nobody take any interest in your real opinions or personality if it falls outside a very specific kind of wanted behavior is a slow and painful internal death. the way we raise kids in this country is deeply fucked ngl anyways thanks game grumps remixes for perfectly dropping me back into 2012 at like midnight on the computer in the living room constantly watching over my shoulder so nobody would see me watch a guy say fuck and then cut off my internet access and my ability to make art and all my social ties

#game grumps #autism #idgaf abt getting personal on here so ill mention #my mom got suuuper pissed when i tried to talk to her abt how this fucked me up #and shes been receptive to mending past hurts so i was hopeful but she was like i could not have known it would be devastating for you #and its like uhmmm you definitely couldve if you had fostered any open communication between us #or showed any interest in me aside from checking in just enough for me to show her i was ok enough for her to feel ok #to be fair our whole family was drowning i think she literally didnt have the capacity to deal with any of my problems #pray away the anxiety kid i know ur dads on wellbutrin and has had lifelong anxiety but i bet youre neurotypical #anyways dont have kids if youre gonna raise them in church #the web is fucked up but its also absolutely a spiders thread out of hell and can expose you to people who dont hate themselves wowie!!

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