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1-800-clouds · 5 months

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Hello I am a sane normally and totally well adjusted person asking about your spirit headcanons

OH BOY IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED

This is about to be a long post.

Spirit Albarn headcanons

//Cw: abuse, neglect, self harm

- He grew up in a super religious household, he always had be on his very best behavior in order to get into heaven

- Hes an only child with extreme helicopter parents, everything he did up until he got his own dorm was strictly monitored. Even after he got a dorm his parents would still contact him constantly

- extremely high standards have been placed on him since he was a child. He has to be absolutely perfect or else he isn't good enough for his parents love

- The standards Spirit had placed ontop of him were to the point if he didn't get perfect marks on smth he'd break down in tears. Eventually it got to the point where he began cutting his arms with razor blades

- He is an unhealthy perfectionist

- Hes got a crippling fear of failure, if anything goes wrong he shuts down completely. Nervous breakdowns

- self harm scars from high school, "helped" his stress

- If he didn't receive perfect grade or marks his parents would often neglect him to the point he'd do anything just for the smallest fraction of attention. It's negatively effected him that now as an adult hes severely attention starved

- verbally and emotionally abused growing up. He had to be the perfect son. If he wasn't than he was neglected, yelled at, gaslit, isolated, sometime the extreme of humiliation.

- Hes a big people pleaser

- He has a difficult time saying no to others

- Big ball of anxiety

- depression

- ptsd from parents

- Trans feminine and Bisexual

- He has a difficult time controlling his emotions and often pukes when overwhelmed by an emotion even if it's a positive one

- Big crybaby, he beats himself up for crying a lot

- Hes hemophobic and will faint at the sight of blood

- he often blames himself for everything even if it's not his fault or completely out of his control

- His marriage with Maka's mother definitely wasn't a healthy one, they only got married bc he had gotten her pregnant by accident and he had panicked at the thought of what his parents would think. He was very emotionally neglected during their marriage which led up to the cheating and the constant visits to Chupa♡Cabras. He only wanted someone to pay attention to him and the only people who did were people who were paid to but he didn't care

- The divorce broke him, he was emotionally unstable for days on end. He couldn't bear to tell anyone about it, he tried praying for forgiveness but gave up on that. He considered dying several times, if he didn't have Maka there was a good chance he mightve

- He still has terrible nightmares from Stein experimenting on him

- he hates seeing himself naked, he sees the singular messy scar Stein left as well as all the ones on his arms and a body he isn't comfortable in

- He has a habit of running from his problems before they can cause him to have a mental shutdown

- prosthetic leg, lost the original one when he n Maka's mother were fighting the witch needed to turn him into a death scythe

- hooked nose and freckles!!

- double vertical labret piercings

- Split tongue and piercing, did it to impress cute girls

#soul eater #spirit albarn #trans spirit #trans spirit albarn #spirit soul eater #spirit headcanons #spirit albarn headcanons

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luvlyhyunjin · 1 month

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omg i literally sent you an ask like two hours ago thinking "well this can't get any worse now we're gonna be so up from here on" AND IT SOMEHOW GOT WORSE?????? AGAIN I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START WOAH yeji having it out for y/n over something that happened years ago and that hyune obviously got over is just soooo.. like she has so many reasons to give y/n a piece of her mind for and she chooses /this/ hill to die on?? AND not addressing her directly???? babyyyy this ain't it!! i think this is also a way of evidencing how distanced yeji and hyune have grown more than the distaste that she has towards y/n, like she doesn't know about hyune and her's connection and where they stand as much as the others do bc yeosang drove her away from them all which is so sad :-( sometimes she frustrates me a bit but i have a lot of sympathy towards yeji especially in this situation bc i know how hurtful it is to feel ostracised from your close friendships due to a toxic relationship and trying to hold on to the things you knew about them while not realising that they've changed bc you haven't been there enough to witness those changes :-( idk if this was your intention when you wrote it but it's really accurate. i know there's a lot of bad blood between yeji and y/n, now more than ever with the yeosang situation 💀 but i really do wish they can have a heart to heart sometime bc both of them have been so wronged and hurt by evil men and idk if a friendship between them is possible tbh but i feel like they can find a support system in each other even if they aren't friends. i just want my girls to be happy and i know there's a long way to go but they both deserve healing smsm :-(

now WDYM MFS RAIDED HYUNE'S HOUSE OH MY GOD????? this is y/n's fuckass father FOR SURE his ass wants to play gangster so bad HE AIN'T SHIT!!!!!!! i'm so flabbergasted i swear i never saw this coming??? i never thought that bum would ever go to this length to try to impose control on his daughter like that man's crazyyyyy. at first i thought the raid was bc of yeosang but you know that man ain't got no friends and is a coward he could never pull up like this 😭 so that's why i think it's y/n's father who's behind this bc he wants to have his godfather moment for some reason 💀 yk how weird men go crazy once they realise they can't control the women they feel entitled to so i think y/n moving out made him feel some kind of way. i can't wait for that asshole's downfall i swear i'm praying on it im going to church over it im manifesting it 🙏🏻 unless hyune is onto something that we're not aware of??? which idk im not sure about that honestly but i didn't see like half the things that ended up happening coming either so you knowww im seated, hyune and hannie living with y/n will be so cute too!! we love to see domestic hyune+y/n content we used to pray for times like this 🥹 so we might be kinda up after all maybe

thank you sm for the update so soon!! you're working overtime for this and it's sooo appreciated you deserve the world fr 🫂🩷🩷

genuinely curious what made you think "its only up from here" cus... 🫡efuhhfihw fyi anon i take my angst tag VERY seriously 🧐 some may say i'm not trust worthy but i just like being unpredictable

about the whole yeji situation it is intentional yes! im so glad you noticed its kinda hard to write such subtle things in smau without it being in your face because it's one of those things that i want ppl to notice but sometimes im like ahh idk if anyone would notice, i think for her she obviously views y/n as a rival but because she's left out (hence jinnie growing more distance ever since yeo came into her life) she tries to attack y/n with the only available card she has which is "you did smth bad to my friend" bc she doesn't know anything else and she wasn't even there when it all happened she only got snippets from the story and from jinnie's side when he was still feeling resentful towards y/n and you see the difference in this specific subject between her and lix (bc lix was there) he gets their bond sm more and it's so much easier for him to not hold it against y/n

listen y/n's dad might be a little worse than her mom idk they're competing for that title rn, ty for being so kind baby as alwayys i enjoyed reading and im sorry for talking sm i just get excited about my characters🥰🥰💞💞

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crystalis · 3 months

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i wish i could suck my own dick so bad. by like disconnecting it from mtself and it retain feeling. like a fcking detachable object

i think im pretty good at sucking dick honestly not to be overtly boastful or conceited.. idgaf really though.. i hope my sometimes-fwb feels lucky to have me in his life bc im a depraved faggot with insatiable cocklust and an autistic oral fixation and ********** fetish. and i enable his pillow princess behavior bc i like when guys lay on their backs and do nothing. and everyone is so fucking ableist toward me for just wanting to stim and trying to kill me for no reason. everyone hates me so much and prays for my downfall

he doesnt even deserve it honestly (not to imply that anything like that is ever 'deserved') bc he pisses me off sometimes and our friendship/relationship has been so weird for years but i have no self control and it makes me feel sorta ashamed. i think being fwbs with someone for a very long time can jsut cause a warped relationship bc it feels like we sorta use eachother for s*xual release sometimes.. it's almost like you develop a pavlovian response around them, like you just associate their presence with sexual acts/pleasure. when im alone with him i jst want to touch his crotch and its disgusting really. but it doesnt bother either of us enough to stop (unless hes in a relationship) i havent been in a relationship in many years) and i think it might be something that continues for as long as we're friens. im probably making this sound terrible, its not like we have s*x 24/7 and its not the only reason we're friends.. though for the past couple years its been getting harder to relate to eachother. every time we hang out we have to drink or get high so it isnt awkward, which feels bad.. though i think its getting harder for me to relate to anyone really, the farther behind i fall in life and more i regress socially.. i think our friendship is devolving into literally nothing more than weed/alcohol/sex which sucks bc we've been friends since we were like 12 and have countless memories together and witnessed all of the hardships / traumas we went through as teenagers and cried together and and experienced a lot of things together for the first time. our weird friendship was one thing that persisted throughout every changing year of middle school and high school and then adult life when i fell off the face of the earth and commited mental suicide

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officialbillhader · 1 year

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Tell us more about your OCs ❕❕❕

This is either gonna be the shortest thing or this is gonna open a big can of worms. I do want this to be a published book one day but who knows when so major spoilers below i suppose. Cw for suicide, femicide, child death. Its a dark story

Ok so this story is still hugely in development meaning the characters are too. Honestly it started as me wanting to write another macden fic where dennis is a gay serial killer bc im so obsessed with that but the scene i was picturing in my head was just too good to give to macden. And ive obviously loved this idea, i kept projecting it onto macdennis (and come on we all know the reddit fanboys are wrong abt sk dennis) so i thought why not make it original. Normally i make horrible ocs. Theyre always so flat. But these two keep jumping out at me like they actually exist, establishing themselves into something i never thought they could be.

We have joe (joseph) (he has his name for religious symbolism) who is the serial killer. He commits femicide exclusively (except for his spouse's father, who i mentioned yesterday he kills bc he was dying of cancer). But basically the story starts by him killing the preacher's daughter named mary who is only 12 yrs old. YEAAAH BUUDDY.

His spouse is the narrator who is so ekvkekvkwkwkfkke he's a man but its more interesting if the reader doesnt find that until near the end. And his name is not found out until the last chapter when his husband addresses his suicide note to him. Basically he doesnt exist outside of husband, its hard to discover anything abt him if the reader isnt getting the informatjon from his husband.

They meet in high school when joe moves to his high school (after his mom left him bc she was scared of him) and they become fast friends bc the narrator is simply easy to control. The first murder happens on their prom night when theyre 16/17, joe murders the narrators prom date. And the narrator doesnt run or leave him!!! Instead they marry!! Hes so foolish 🙄

The narrator is religious himself, but joe doesnt know that, and after mary's murder he sneaks away sunday mornings to go to the church that the preacher is at. Bc he knows who killed their daughter, but never says a word as they pray rvery week to bring the man to justice. Her body is found on christmas eve/day btw.

Theres so much more, but im still figuring a lot out and i also just revealed a lot and im hjdgnegbetwth

#i should not be revealing so much but it makes me so excited #ive never wanted to talk abt any original story like this #asks #sk ocs

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paranormeow7 · 9 months

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CAN I PLEASE HEAR ABOUT GAVIN AND SAM.... i saw eating corpses and angels and went oh! well i must know

yes absolutely I’m so glad u asked!!!!!! i love talking abt my horrible ocs LAWLZ- I actually have Gavin’s backstory in my writing tag but I would love to talk abt him and Sam more now bc they are very dear to me… basically Sam is one of the last remaining members of an ancient alien race that are like planet sized and have crazy magic and shit. They sort of just hung out in space until people on other planets begun to notice them and worship them as gods, with the aliens deciding to try and fill the role, watching over the planets and their inhabitants. Sam and Gavin live on a fucked up post apocalyptic future earth populated with spirits and demons and shit but more on that later. A big reason the planet is so fucked is that Earths inhabitants began to fear Sams species and decided to try and kill them, mostly succeeding, except for one child who rocketed to Earth and got stuck in a much smaller and more comprehensible form until their “awakening”. Sam always felt connected to the deities though, and became one of the last remaining believers. He would always go out and look at the corpse of Earths former protector in the sky and pray before going to bed. One day, a single tear fell from its eye and splashed Sam and all the memories just flooded back. She basically went like “OH SHIT IM GOD I GUESS” and became a biblically accurate angel kaiju thing because cringe culture is dead lol. It doesn’t make a lot of sense but hey we ball- I don’t have a lot of the story planned out OOPS, but a lot of it is based on spirituality and how religion can’t solve your problems, you have to take care of them yourself, meant in a literal sense, because Sam waited most of their life for someone to save her, but ended up becoming the very thing he prayed to every night. Idk man I’ve had this OC since 2017 maybe I get to go a little wild

about Gavin, this is where we come back to the spirits and stuff !!!! he shares his body with a demonic cat spirit in a sort of parasitic symbiotic relationship. This cat was literally just some roadkill stray, but as the fury and ambition built up in its soul, it became a horrific and tyrannical monster with no trace of its older self. It believed that since it’s life was taken away with such little care, it should be allowed to do the same to others in order for its power to grow, so that eventually it can get back the life it believed it was owed. This demon stalked Gavin his whole life because he saw the spark of that same ambition and rage in him, and decided to get him killed so it could take his body and use it for its own gain. Gavin also believed that he deserved to continue living as long as he wanted to, so when this spirit offered to bring him back for the price of complete control over his own soul, he took the deal. The demon needs living souls to be able to gain enough power to communicate with the higher level spiritual beings, so he would make Gavin eat animals and people in order to get that from him. After a while though, Gavin started to kill by himself. He was abused for most of his life leading up to his death, so he started to kill and eat random people that he saw his abusers in. He believes that not only do these people owe him their lives, that he’s doing the world a favor by getting rid of them. Over time, he loses most of the compassion he had in the past and becomes more and more like the demon he shares his body with, because after everything he’s been through, the world owes him that, doesn’t it? Basically, he’s awful, but he’s also very silly and he has a partner who’s the only person he actually likes LOL

This is incomprehensible I’m so sorry I hope this made even a shred of sense- whablalgavkq

#actual sugar post #beetle writes #long post #ocs #my ocs #original characters #Sam #Gavin #oc world

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golbrocklovely · 2 years

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As usual Sams perspective of feeling energized when life is “hard” and allowing yourself to feel “pain” comes from the pov of someone who hasnt suffered. When life has gotten extremely hard for me i dont feel energized, in fact i feel like giving up, my head gets dark, and you know what i cant control my emotions. I cry i get angry and i pray. I would not wish the pain i’ve felt on anybody so for him to say this feels like he hasnt really experienced life in a deep level and was not forced to grow up faster than usual.

I’ve live a pretty hard life too, a rollercoaster set on fire if you ask me, and the songs that always brought me comfort were hiphop songs like Ice Cubes ‘It was a good day’. Funnily enough Sam complained Colby had a period where he listened to that song on a loop, if only he paid attention to the lyrics himself. Im not just saying this because i like Colby a little more, but i feel like he gets it more than Sam does. Hes more emotional and has sympathy for situations i feel Sam would scoff at and tell us to suck it up. Basically Sam needs a HUGE humbling down.

i am in the same boat as you. literally when i'm down, i'm borderline buried. if i can give you even just a bit of advice for the next time things feel dark, bc i've been there before more times than i'd like to admit; realizing the amount of things i would have missed out on are what keep me going. to think back over the years at the times i wanted to end things, i just try my best to remember how much good stuff did come my way. and i'm talking the small, tiniest of things.

if i had ended things back the last time, i would have missed getting my two dogs. i would have missed ending that toxic friendship that should have ended long before, i would have missed so. much. music. from my favorite artists.

tiny things like that. that's what keeps me going. bigger things too, like my family. but i also know that not everyone has that in their life. but that's another reason to appreciate them more while i still got them.

but back to your ask.

sometimes i like to describe my life as god's longest running comedy special, bc someone has to be finding all of this funny. it's not me, but someone's getting a good laugh out of it all lol

i think something that sam, and really any neurotypical person, should realize is that telling us to just "focus on the positives" does little to nothing. beetlejuice the musical said it best: positivity is a luxury that few can afford. i think once sam realizes that while his words might be genuine, they aren't that great coming from someone with no experience. he talks a big game for someone who still doesn't know who he is internally.

and as for colby, i think while he's bad at expressing himself, he feels for ppl deeply. which is why i think he can't express himself, funny enough. personally, and this is just an opinion i have, i think colby struggles a lot more than he lets on, so i think that's why he seems only a smidge more connected to reality than sam haha

#ask #personal

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frostbite-the-bat · 9 days

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do u have any tips for the high roller fight shes so mean to me...

(HEAVY BREATHING)

OKAY! SO! IM AUTISTIC AND HAVE A SPECIFIC STRAT I USE WHEN I DO THIS FIGHT A MORBILLION TIMES (48 defeats..... not enough im gonna kms im not getting to 69 funny number at this rate with burn out)

ANWYWAYS THIS IS JUST KINDA HOW I DO IT AND HOW I Rember IT! OK! ok. most of this is for stage 3 bc the first 2 are short and not that difficult imo. well. i fucking hate stage 2, but it is only 5 rounds long, and requires lots of focus, but it's Guaranteed Short. can always take the safe route with luring and tooning up... but you WILL NOT get a good damage boost for stage 3! (the more hollys u kill the more damage buff u get for hr)

One thing to remember! if all cogs are under 360 hp and everyone has enough pips for opera, just use that, you'll clear all cogs.

if you wish here's my gay little sound note i have on my wall. it doesn't go to the lower lvl gags but in early rounds you may use them too, makes shit faster. the cogs there got baby levels

pls know in the fight i also use a calculator! i highly suggest using one especially in any round you'll be using sound in. i just use one on my phone while i play!

using 4 dice for power ups isn't necessary in stage 1 unless you get nasty fucking spawns later in the later rounds (got a 1000 health cog there once i'm sure? ?christ almighty)

absolutely more necessary in stage 2, though, usually the spawns there are nasty. go for zap, i usually go for it to at least *try* and wipe out as many hollywoods as i can. weakening is okay too because with enough luck you may be able to use sound. careful with laff though it may be risky since this typically includes saying fuck it killing the worst ones and leaving one alive to hopefully wipe out easier next round

healing before stage 3 isn't as important (GOOD IDEA TO BE HEALED UP FROM STAGE 1 TO STAGE 2, THOUGH).

in stage 3 what i do is i target one silhouette at a time, all with cakes. gives a good self heal! do it in like... worst priority order? however if you miss and lose a lot of laff it's good to 2 dice, lure, and all toon up to stall a bit. if you have green on board then focus on that and tooning up at the same time

uhmmm. purple is worst because punishes healing. my kill order is usually purple > red/green > cyan (though i've been taught the trickery of cyan and i like it being wiped out early too. depending on what's in the fight i may target cyan first or later) > orange > everyone else (i dont worry abt anyone else besides they do nothing)

cyan worries me a bit less since it likes fucking with drop gags the most, and i dont use it. you can clear everything with 4 weddings. one by one tho. it works for me like 85% of the time except from when hr is mean to me and makes me miss wedding 3 times. 80% hit rate, everyone

leave one silhouette alive and grind to get some ious (focus on getting trap and drop. everyone having drop Good). do old strat, pre trap hr and the silhouette. make sure you spam 4 dice. if you dont get any wait until a good round when everyone can use 4 dice. hard to coordinate in voice, but incredibly easy (but maybe stressful) in quads (all toons controlled by you)

4 dice increase power, very useful. will make tnt on hr stronger even if the damage WILL be significantly weakened. before you do anything tho, check who has highest tnt damage. whoever does, they tnt hr. one person uses a weak trap on the silhouette. (make sure to weaken it first, my safe range is like 1100 hp. typically just double wedding it, and then later next round using a weaker throw)

you dont need to lure right away, you can spend some more rounds to toon up and regain pips. then, get whoever has weakest drop to lure (if they have a 2 dice and/or rerolls to get 2 dice and use a weak group lure to save pips. if not, just use a stronger one and pray it hits. or just agree to get whoever has 2 dice to lure.)

one person lures, everyone else piano's hr. use 4 dice too to increase damage. necessary if you want this done in this one silhouette round. rng based tho. wait till everyone has 4 dice or rerolls, maybe. hard to communicate thru text, easier in vc, easiest when quadding

the trap you set on the silhouette earlier. it'll die, and high roller's gets normal damage in the same round! pray all pianos hit.

you WILL get hit by high roller's ace, but at this point hr SHOULD be around like... 10000-20000 ish hp? out of 44444. good range!

then what i do, for safety, get some 2 dice maybe? use 4's, also. just watch carefully to like. still have pips for max gags. whoever has strongest throw, uses wedding. everyone else pianos. kill her.

that's gg's !

basically kind all to remember..? what i do in this fight? uhmm any other tips. if ur not a fan of trivia unlike me, keep this tab open! like me. i keep it open always ( LINK TO TTCC WIKI GG HR FIGHT TRIVIA ANSWERS )

if you have adhd and can unfocus your eyes like i and there's a shuffle round just like. remember which one it is. stare at the middle. use your powers dont move your eye but like Look At Which One Is Being Shuffled. works even in harder rounds! normal people uhmmm Suffer

uhmm be careful with pips in general? if you can save do save.

oh yea, shouldve said earlier - the way you stall in the 3rd stage with hr and the silhouette is just. all or just 2 use megaphone toon up. every 2 rounds when you can try to use an iou dice. yknow. 5 dice !

pass if low on pips, but if any toons get lower laff then use more megaphones or just single toon up each other. i typically space out in this stage so i just 4 megaphone always but saving pips by skipping i n some turns can earn you quite a few spare pips lol.

but srsly i space out for most of this and chat offtab or just talk abt shit in vc. then i pay attention only when its Time To Kill.

that's that! thanks! im autistic about this fight. idk how good my strats are, i hate talking abt em publicly bc i know some nerds gonna go in and go ERMM THERES SOMETHING MORE OPTIMAL

stfu i dont care im doing my own autistic thing (fun fact i gotta lead everyone always not only bc im like trusted with this fight but also if things dont go my way my brain implodes on itself and i cant focus on shit)

please look at this NOT OLD STRAT piano damage. colossal damage

#[answered]#long

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n0toverit · 6 months

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i have no reason to feel as upset as i do rn which is something i need to remember to bring up in therapy so i write down here bc do not have little journal diary whateva and the worst part is during my little bursts of huge emotions im aware that it doesn’t match the situation the whole time and then after it’s all done and passed i just feel stupid and dramatic but it’s not something i can control and i don’t even know what it is that’s causing me to feel this way so i don’t know how to treat it and de escalate myself like last therapist had been talking to me ab schizophrenia, symptoms of ocd or schizophrenia- ocd linked things and bpd type things which do make a lot of sense but it never went anywhere bc i had a special appt with psychiatrist booked to be long just to ask her about those things and she ended the appt in 5 mins after asking her regular questions, refilling meds and scheduling next appt while being 15 mins late so now i never wanna ask for a long appt bc it feels like she’s just telling me that im dramatic and there’s nothing to be talked about and just shutting me down i hate it and i hope and pray that my work insurance when i get it covers some better mental health places bc i can’t stand the one im at but it’s literally my only option

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piscesgirl87 · 1 year

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its obvious reem & marina dont get along 😂 she organised tracy bday celebrations. reem wasnt there even though she is close to tracy & laura & leah who were there too. did marina not invite her? why? we have seen reem hang out with tracy multiple times, her & paddy went to greece with tracy & jesse more than once. how come we never see her hanging out with marina & her husband eli? how come we never see her traveling with them? jesse was at paddy’s last bday party organised by reem. im guessing tracy was there too. but not marina 😂 reem didnt invite her did she 😂 good on marina for not inviting her then! reem is always leaving her out so now she got taste of her own medicine 😂 u would think we would see reem, paddy, marina & eli hanging out together a lot since paddy & marina live right across from each other. well they used to hang out a lot, paddy & marina used to be bffs, they were very close, he liked & commented on her ig photos a lot until reem came along & fucking ruined everything! fuck her! ever since he started dating her he stopped doing all that. i think reem told him to stop. i think she told him to keep his distance from marina bc she is jealous of how close they are 😂 she come across as a very jealous, insecure, controlling, abusive gf! im surprised she let him live across the street from marina. surprised she didnt tell him to get new home 😂somewhere far away from marina! is she going to be ok if paddy & marina’s characters on cpd get back together & they have to make out & maybe have sex scenes? 😂 what does it say about reem that marina is married & she is still jealous of her & paddy friendship? how insecure is she? 😂 i pray this is the year she & paddy finally break up! she doesnt deserve him! she is not good for him! they dont really love each other! only reason paddy with someone so much younger than him like reem is bc it makes him feel young & he doesnt want to let go of his youth! but he needs to man up & dump reem & date torrey! paddy & torrey are perfect for each other! only reason reem is with paddy is bc she is fame wh0re! she dont love him! she is only with him bc he is on successful show & she love attention that come from being his gf!she wouldnt be getting 1/4 of all this attention if she werent his gf! she woulve never been on dick wolf show if she werent his gf! he probably helped her get other acting jobs & modeling jobs too 😂 when cpd ends or if someone famous & more connected in hollywood wants to date reem she will dump paddy right away 😂 its sad her biggest accomplishment in life is being someones gf. thats all she will ever be 😂 her dad must be proud of her & her mum must be looking up or down proud too! its also obvious she made paddy get cosmetic surgery. she made him get face & lip fillers just like she did! she is very insecure & made him insecure too! jesse & laroyce age well but not paddy! he age poorly! side effect from surgery! he started gaining too much weight after he start dating reem! must also be side effect from surgery! or bc of alcohol & drug problem & depression which he got after he start dating her! the sooner paddy & reem break up the better for him!

Ok wasn’t gonna bother to resound but

1. What even is this message

2. Reem is AMAZING and beautiful and talented and is VERY supportive of Paddy and his friends on CPD

3. Paddy and marina are best friends and have been since the beginning

4. Marina never shares pics of her husband- she’s private about it

5. They don’t ALL have to Hang out 24/7

6. Marina is a mom. She can’t just jet off to Greece with all of them

7. Paddy is 🔥🔥🔥

8. You can kindly shut the fuck up

#I try not to respond but like lol wtf

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xielians · 3 years

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sorry that i come back to tumblr just to reblog posts about The Twit Drama but man, hard to not be affected by it

#personal stuff #venting here bc its a very different circle i have here #ive mostly been deliberating this whole thing with chii in silence but i also really fucking want to talk about it but heck #whatever ill come clean #so like im actually doing fan-tls too - do not ask which #ive quite literally left that drama alone until yeah like the previous rb said - people started calling fan tls illegal #im sorry like yes sure its illegal but do you think we dont know that???#ngl to read something like that is like a slap in the face #90% close to literally just locking up my tls right there #to tell people lock up your tls and face the consequences then! and like thats really not a threat #its really easy to just only spread our tl privately instead of publicly #pray tell like after being told something like that why the hell would tlers want something we spent hours on to be read by them?#anyway it was very hurtful and it really makes me wonder why the hell i even spent all these time working on them #i know the whole thing spiralled out of control and a lot of people have genuine reasons why theyre incapable of purchasing it #but its really really hard for tlers motivation to not dip a shitton when theyve read things like that #nvm if its just one or two people saying it but it was like? a whole bunch?#if youre reading this do not engage me about this drama #im exhausted ngl

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occeansun · 3 years

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#it has come to my attention that #a lot of my old classmates from primary school know i'm bisexual.#i really don't know what to think rn but #this was the last thing i wanted to happen.#bc like apparently they've known for MONTHS??? bc my dumbass but bi in my insta bio #aka when i still had faith that majority of the world wasn't homophobic or at the least THEY didn't hold homophobic beliefs?#and thing is???? i have no idea if they do !!! i've never talked to them in YEARS #god the last thing that i want to happen is that someone from my current school finds out; or a teacher finds out; and they end up telling #my family about it. and they're the LAST people i need finding out about this.#i'm just glad my irls only know about my IG and not here. and i'm mostly anonymous on both so ig i'm safe...#i just gotta pray that those ppl forgot that *im* kry and that they don't rattle off to other people i don't know.#but it still scares me that the facade i was trying to pull of to avoid this situation was pointless #and that i really don't have that much control over who knows this really secret part of myself i'm terrified of letting too many irls know #i /might/ change my url here to be safe no one tries to find my tumblr #but idk i guess the inevitable mood swing will decide that #...im so upset about this and yet i feel nothing. but ik i'm panicking inside & the fact im not physically reacting makes it worse mentally

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schneesisterss · 3 years

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Do you have any head cannons for the other Dimitrescu sisters? I loved your takes on Cassandra!

thank you! <3 and Of Course I have headcannons for the other two. (though not as extensive as the ones I have for Cassandra bc you know... brain rot) BUT HERE:

Daniela:

ADD/ADHD representation

stims include, but not limited to: jumping, hard blinking, leg bouncing, word/phrase/noise repetition, and fidgeting with her clothing

and i’m also CONVINCED she gets the zoomies at random times of the day

Alcina, hearing loud and fast footsteps up and down her hallway at 3am: *sigh* “Daniela! Take it outside!”

followed by a loud THUMP and painful groan (she definitely ran into a wall)

hates loud noises but simultaneously has no volume control

especially when she gets excited

Cassandra has to constantly remind her to lower her voice

“AND THEN I TOOK MY KNIFE AND STABBED THE LYCAN IN THE NECK AND IT WAS SO COOL—”

“Dani, i’m standing right here, why are you yelling?”

she loves play-fighting with her sisters

Cassandra is more willing to entertain her than Bela but the both of them like to see their sister happy. so whenever they recognize Daniela getting antsy they’ll wrestle with her a bit

(Cassandra gets way to into it sometimes and makes Bela be the referee lol. Cass always ends up pinning her younger sister with a proud, competitive smile on her face. Bela let’s Dani win, but we don’t tell her that)

has the keenest senses of the three which makes her the best at stalking/killing pray

and since she can hear the best out of all of them, she unintentionally eves drops on conversations

so Daniela, bless her, has all the tea

tactile learner

will just. touch things

“Life hard, Mothers gown soft”

can get trapped in her own head and doesn’t know how to express to her family what’s bothering her

this can make her very reserved at times and she’ll distance herself for days on end

her mother is really the only person who knows how to get her out of that state. Alcina walks up the long flight of stairs to the highest point of her castle. her youngest daughter likes to come here sometimes when she needs the quiet. “Daniela? Are you up here?”

“Hello, Mother.” Alcina looks up to see her daughter lounging on a banister high up on the ceiling.

“What are you doing up there, my love?” Daniela rubs the fabric of her dress between her fingers. “Cassandra and Bela were arguing again. I don’t like when Cassandra yells.”

Alcina shakes her head. Those two were always going at it. She’ll speak to Bela about it later. “I haven’t seen you in a few days.” Daniela then grabs a fist full of her dress and tugs at it, blinking hard. “Come down for a moment. Talk to me, baby.”

and Daniela simply rolls herself off the banister and into free fall. Alcina, already prepared, catches her with ease and holds her bridal style against her chest. Daniela runs her hands over the sleeve of her mother’s dress.

Alcina gave her youngest child time to gather her thoughts, knowing it sometimes takes longer for her to be able to understand them herself. Daniela finally spoke up: “It’s been very loud recently. Around the castle. Small things, like footsteps or glasses clicking, they sound so loud in my head.” She covers her ears with her hands. “Even now I can still hear Cassandras voice through the castle, it’s pushing in my ears. My head hurts, Mother.”

Alcina gave her daughter a quick squeeze before setting her down. “Follow me baby, I want to show you something.” Daniela followed her Mother through the twists and turns of the castle until they ended up at a door that was just like all the others. It blended in and maybe that’s why Daniela has never noticed it before. “In here.” her mother guided.

Inside was a small library and lounge room. A fire place tucked in the corner and, of course, a wall a wine next to it. Daniela looked at her Mother questioningly.

“Listen.” her mother said, and Daniela did. She heard... nothing. Nothing outside of the quiet cracking of the fire place. “This room is sound proofed. Come here whenever you feel overwhelmed.” She leaned down to stroke her daughters head. “Just don’t tell your sisters I showed you my secret getaway room.” and with a wink, the tall woman exited the room and shut the door behind her.

The next day Daniela was at breakfast like nothing had changed. She didn’t even mind when Cassandra yelled at a maiden for breaking a plate, it only made her laugh.

(if you get overstimulated you KNOW what i’m talking about)

personal space? never heard of her.

loves to cling to Belas arm and Bela let’s her bc she thinks it’s just. so cute.

will also sometimes just crawl into her mothers lap and fall asleep. then Alcinas like: “well.. i guess i’m not moving for three hours”

Daniela: “if I run an jump at Cassandra, she’ll most certainly catch me.” *takes off in a full blown sprint*

Cassandra: “NO IM HOLDING HOT TEA—” *drops tea to catch Daniela* *proceeds to cuss her younger sister out, all while Dani is wrapped around her like a koala*

(this happens a lot. Dani will just... climb on Cassandra. piggy back rides, getting on her shoulders, wrapping her hands around her neck from behind and letting her feet drag on the floor, etc. Cassandra complains adamantly but never once moves to get her off)

Cassandra: “hey Dani, I dare you too—”

Bela: “Mother said Daniela isn’t allowed to accept dares anymore.”

Daniela: “apparently I have ‘no regard for my personal safety.’”

it takes a lot for Daniela to get genuinely angry, but when she does, it’s.... bad.

Very Very Scary when mad

turns into a completely different person that you Do NOT want to fuck with

dangerous and violent

much more dark and sadistic as compared to her normal personality

came home one night covered in blood and laughing hysterically. it scared the shit out of her sisters bc if they would try and get close, she’d slash at them with her weapon.

(this was one of the only times Bela had seen Cassandra genuinely worried and afraid for their sister)

when Alcina came to see what was wrong, Daniela, still laughing madly, swung at her too. Cassandra quickly shot out her arm and grabbed Belas elbow to stop her from getting involved. Bela whipped around with a growl but Cassandras glare and squeezing nails told her to back down. Mother can handle it.

Insane Laugh™️

thinks it’s funny to intimidate the maidens by showing her fangs and snapping her jaw

she often likes to find Bela when she’s reading a book to convince her to read to her (Bela almost always complies)

that’s it for Daniela. just a hyperactive baby with a murder streak <3 ONTO THE FINAL SISTER

Bela:

Mama’s (and I cannot stress this enough) Girl

needs constant reassurance that’s she’s doing a good job and yes this reassurance can ONLY come from her mother

INSOMNIAC

this girl never sleeps, pls baby you need some rest

she spends the time she should be sleeping reading books or running errands for her mother (whether Alcina asked her to or not)

she has read almost every single book in their giant library

Cassandra doesn’t understand this at all

“Why are you always cooped up in here?” Bela glanced up over the pages of her book at her younger sister. “This is the library Cassandra. Take a wild guess.” her voice was completely level and had no inflection. Cassandra gritted her teeth, “You think your so much better than me.” Bela sighed and closed her book. She didn’t want to do this again. “No. I don’t.” she said seriously. Cassandra eyed her for a moment then looked away, Bela saw the guilt on her face before she turned on her heal. “You’re so boring.”

because she reads so much, she is incredibly smart and just knows facts about random things

Daniela, daydreaming: “I wonder why grass is green.”

Bela, immediately: “the pigment that most grasses produce, Chlorophyll, absorbs almost all blue and red light and reflects green light which is why we see green. so I mean, technically grass is every single color EXCEPT for green.

Dani, confused as fuck: ....

Cass: “Bitch, how do you even know that?”

Bela’s sisters just end up using her as Google

“Hey Bela, how far away is the moon?” “238,900 miles.”

“Hey Bela, how many different climates are there?” “Twelve”

“Hey Bela, what’s the worlds deadliest poison?” “Botulinum... why?” “No reason.” “Dani. WHY?”

“Hey Bela, how much can I sell a human skull on the black market for?” Bela, concerned: “Cassandra why would—” “HOW MUCH?” “Well... are all the teeth still in tact?” “...No.” “Than only about $500.” “FUCK.”

“Hey Bela, I have this weird rash on my back and—” “Daniela. Do not finish that sentence. Go ask Mother.”

she is so quiet

and not just because she doesn’t talk very loud or even much at all. she’s just So. Silent. when she moves

just pops up in random places without anyone hearing her approach

even Daniela can’t hear her coming, which is saying something

Cassandra, minding her own business, drinking blood tea: .....

Bela, suddenly right next to her: “Hey I was wondering if— stop screaming, it’s me— have you seen Mothers lipstick? It’s missing.”

refuses any type of help with anything or else she feels like she failed that task

Never asks for help, Never asks for favors, and Never Ever will burden her Mother with any of her problems. Ever.

(Alcina thinks this is ridiculous. her eldest daughter pushes herself too hard.)

Anxiety™️

sometimes when her anxiety becomes too much she shuts down and becomes very indifferent to things around her. this has caused many fights between herself and Cassandra because Cass will get really fired up when all Bela does is respond with a monotone voice and blank stare.

overthinks literally everything and is a perfectionist

this makes her prone to panic attacks :(

when this happens she shuts herself in her room, not wanting to bother her Mother or sisters

Bela closes her bedroom door behind her and stumbles to her knees. she can’t seem to get air into her lungs no matter how hard she tried. she had failed. Mother asked her to bring her the head of that stupid man-thing, but somehow he knew their weakness.

how could he know? are Cassandra and Daniela ok? where are they? where is Mother?

Belas breathing was shallow and short, her chest burns as she presses her forehead into the ground. She claws the skin of her chest raw, leaving angry, red marks behind, desperately trying to open her lungs.

she stays as quiet as she can, only gasping few and far between. she will not be a burden. she should deal with the consequences of her failure. alone.

a sudden knock on her door makes her scramble backwards on her bottom till her back hits the opposite wall. then Belas worst nightmare, her Mothers voice.

“Bela?! Bela, is that you?” Alcinas words were rushes and worried. the door handle jiggled. “Bela, baby the door is locked, please let me in.” Bela covered her mouth and cried silently while her Mother begged to be let in.

the sound of snapping wood had Belas eyes flying open, her Mother had broken down the door. Bela shrunk into herself. She’s going to be so mad. I’m a failure. the ringing in her ears became so intense she couldn’t hear anything else.

large, soft hands cup her cheeks and a muffled voice through the air: “Bela, my love, you’re alright thank god. Are you hurt anywhere? Let me see.”

Bela pushed weakly at her Mothers arms and said between sobs, “I-I’m sorry, M-Mother.”

Alcina looked at her eldest daughter with confusion, she had no physical wounds, but the look on her face was heartbreaking. “What are you sorry for, my love?” this only made Belas breathing spend up even more, her face red from the lack of oxygen. Alcina quickly pulled her in close.

“Now Bela, listen to the sound of my voice,” she said it gently but just hard enough to grab her daughters attention. “I need you to copy my breath. Do it now, love, listen to me. Do what i’m telling you to.” Alcina took exaggerated breaths and noticed that instantly after her command, Bela had tried to follow, but the smaller girls breath was still choppy and small. Alcina rubbed a thumb across Belas cheek. “You’re doing so well baby. Keep going just like that. Good girl.” a smaller hand was placed on her arm and grabbed at her sleeve. “Good baby, use me to ground yourself. Keep breathing now, you’re doing so good.” Alcina kept whispering soft encouragements and praises until her daughters breathing was back to normal and she was laying limp on her chest.

Alcina moved the hair away from Belas face. “What a good girl, you did so well.” Bela squeezed her eyes shut and pushed into her Mother until her face was hidden. “I’m sorry Mother.” came a muffled apology, though her voice was much more steadier than before. “I failed you, I couldn’t stop the man-thing. He shot at the windows! He knows our weakness, Mother. What are we going to do? Where’s Daniela and Cassandra, are they ok? I should have stopped him for you I’m so sorry I—”

“Quiet.” Bela immediately seals her lips and looks away, already extracting herself from her Mother’s arms. She probably hates her. Alcina simple tugs her back and forces Bela to look in her eyes with a quick tap to the forehead. “Bela, I need you to listen to me very carefully.” Her daughters eyes go wide and she nods. “You have nothing to apologize for. This is not you’re fault and I will not allow you to think that way. Plus, the man-thing won’t bother us any longer, I took care of it.”

“But—” Alcina raises an eyebrow and Bela gives in, nodding hesitantly. “Good girl.” Bela exhales through her nose at the phrase and squeezes her Mother’s sleeve again. They sit like that for a few more moments, calming down.

Bela suddenly shoots up. “Daniela, Cassandra, are they—” “They’re fine my dear, Daniela got a little banged up, but Cassandra was already patching her up before I could even get close. We didn’t know where you were, that’s why I was so worried.” Bela relaxed and again nuzzled her nose into her Mother’s chest, took one more deep breath, then stood. “I’m going to go check on them.”

She steps through the now empty door frame and pauses. She spoke without turning around: “I won’t fail you again, Mother.” and shifts into a cloud of flies and disappears.

(am I projecting again? idk help)

can play the piano

no like you don’t understand, she is so good at piano

this girl has mastered songs by composers like Liszt, Beethoven, and Ravel

she’ll play for hours on end, if she starts a new piece she Will Not get up until she can play it through perfectly

she pretends not to notice Cassandra secretly listening to her play, hidden behind a nearby bookshelf

while her younger sisters always jump head first into a fight, Bela takes a more calculating approach. learning her enemies movements from afar before advancing and ending it in like 3 quick moves.

“Well Bela, if Mother asked you to jump off a bridge, would you?”

Bela, already climbing over the railing: “Hm?”

and there you go for Bela! my sweet child.. please learn self-care.

*ahem* I went overboard again didn’t I? WELP. I regret nothing. Give me more headcannons.

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oshaaofficial · 2 years

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ok hold on here we go. nadja and laszlo found freedom with vampirism-- to have power and to escape caste systems and the like-- but nandor had the power and love and status and wealth, as a human. if anything vampirism robbed him of the privileges he had as a man. all of those things are only theoretically fulfilling anyway. it’s probably easy to feel unchangeable when you’re immortal; its almost like being preserved. nandor views vampirism as a curse and that manifests as his desire to be human again. bcos i think to him, the antithesis of eternal undeath is the mutability of humanity. but what he really wants is freedom, something he hasn't afforded himself in the past, bc probably he doesn't know how. i have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of nandors angst comes from the fact that his aspirations of power, control, and conquest, the willingness to kill and kill and kill and hunger for more, always more-- those things were befitting of nandor the soldier, nandor the leader, the conqueror, nandor the viceroy, nandor the relentless. i think he’s really tired of being hungry. and that i can understand. like what about nandor the horse girl???? nandor the roommate, nandor the more merciful council leader actually, nandor the ‘i want to do something special for the immortal ones arrival im going to sprinkle [glitter] on my face and on my body like twilight,’ nandor the loved?? can he be loved? (yes) he would like to think so (he is). and what about giving? nandor knows plenty about wanting, yes plenty about wanting. and getting. but he hasn’t had much practice with giving, or loving. there’s someone who reminds him of fresh fruit and burning sand and the sun and praying. not that nandor has any concrete memories of those things. but its been so long since desire (real desire) was anything but painful. and he’s selfish, something he’d be hard pressed to admit even at stake point. really, he knows he’s selfish, and he wants his sun forever (forever...). blood will never taste like fresh fruit; it can be red all the same. but guillermo is also so good. he’s better, better than nandor could have ever been, so alive and warm and for some reason nandor got to have him all to himself for so long. he believes that turning guillermo would rob him of everything nandor loves about him (and he loves). to want guillermo is to damn him for eternity (and nandor is unconsciously used to being deprived). he had to be a certain type of human man, but he can be anyone now. the freedom nadja and laszlo found in vampirism was only possible in part bcos of why they were turned, in love, devoted, trusting. something something life force something something vampires live on other ppls borrowed time something something monster tropes and queerness something something nandor wont acknowledge it's actually an interpersonal issue bcos blaming it on something he can no longer control is, like, the only way he knows how to deal w his emotions. nandor thinks taking guillermo’s literal humanity wld fundamentally change him forever (forever...), the same way nandor thinks it changed him. immutable; unlovable. eventually. he knows a lot about wanting. well, he thinks he does. like he tries to find the happiness he wants in relationships the same way nadja fought tooth and nail for respect and power and control.* now she has a position on The vampiric council, but i have a feeling she might hate it a little. bcos power and respect aren't the same. but nandor is wrong ab vampirism, and it wouldn’t be guillermo’s teen fantasy either. vampire is just a state of being, like human, they still need the bonds and emotional intimacy that people crave. and just. sigh. what happens when someone whose life was defined by violence just wants to love and be loved instead?

#*i also have a lot to say about nadja #nandor suffers from misogyny induced shounen manga homoeroticism #it was terminal #hm. anyway #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #nandor the relentless #guillermo de la cruz #nadja of antipaxos #laszlo cravensworth #i continue to feel weird ab tagging my own posts #mikeys nandor dissertation #and #mikeys nadja dissertation

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