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#its not even like bad as a story its just. idk. like ive written and posted way worse but… i am simply not proud of this one!
cactusfru1ts · 1 year
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worst thing i ever did in my life is come up with a special little au separate from my other good au so i could stick all my ideas that i had to ditch in that au but not because it was a bad idea or anything. because i got incredibly emotionally attached to the worse au and like even if it hadnt gotten pretty ooc at parts i never wouldve been able to write it because of some of the stuff i was including since it was literally like 80% stuff that made me say “hm i probably shouldnt write that not because its bad for the plot but because i cant do that to them” but thats still not even the bad part the bad part is that i made a playlist for it and i tried to partially limit it to songs someone could realistically rot in their room to during summer 2020 and because i was personally on tiktok during 2020 i included that song from 36 questions that everyone was using for a while. and unfortunately it actually genuinely fits the au too well for me to take it off so now every time i want to be mentally ill about my horrible au and i decide to listen to the playlist i made for it i get 36 questions jumpscared
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bcolfanfic · 15 days
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(i don’t want to get into discourse over this truly i don’t but sometimes i see Takes™️ and feel like i somehow managed to watch a completely different mota than some other people did?? was it perfect okay, no. wish the tuskegee guys were developed more, wish that marge wasn’t a reshoots add in so we got more closure with her character. wish it was 10 or even 12 episodes not 9.
but idk i genuinely cannot square the takes about it being bad. granted i am a huge fan of austin and came into it very excited/ready to like it bc of him. but i also saw dune for him and while i enjoyed the film i saw it once and that was enough for me. (i saw elvis 2022 10 times in theaters between june 2022-march 2023 lmfao, once 3 times in 48 hours during the $5 awards szn run!!!)
which i say to say i’ve rewatched mota like 5+ times and keep rewatching it because i feel genuinely invested in the Full Story™️, not just to see austin. i think the character archs we see across the show were done very very well, especially crosby’s which i’ve actually been meaning to make a long post about on its own bc i wanna yap about it. rosie’s intro used to really annoy me but after a couple rewatches i came around to it/him and think he was written very well for the purpose his character was meant to serve. as much as i missed austin when gale went down i think the not showing it/leaving it up in the air till john got to the camp was an excellent way of putting the viewers into the shoes of the guys- who had no idea what happened to their friends when they went up and didn’t come back.
ive seen BoB and thought it was a fantastic well made beautiful show. but i personally, *personally* think i’d say i like mota more. and feel like i am the only person of the face of the earth with that opinion loldgdhch)
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IMPORTANT UPDATE!!
the comic is cancelled. you probably already assumed that since i havent posted anything about it in a while but yeah the things dead now lol. mainly because i dont care much about omori anymore, the comic sucked, and it was too much effort. i feel kinda bad about leaving you guys in the dark for this long tho, so i thought id go ahead and include all the scrapped stuff for the comic that never got finished
while i was writing the comic i started a google doc that laid out ideas i had for future pages. heres that if you wanna know how the story ends
it was written over several months and (most) things are in order of where they go on the timeline not when i wrote them so it might be a little hard to follow
also some art i never posted
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(at least i dont think ive posted the last one)
i quoted not liking this comic as one of the reasons i stopped so let me explain that with a list of things id change about this if i were to remake it (which i wont)
remove the swearing that was so stupid
make omori mute (and probably use sign language)
omori does not express fear or stress in-game, thats sunnys job. quit it
he also does not cry and generally shows emotions (even the big ones) in more subtle ways (which i think i was trying to shift towards later in the doc) idk why he was so emotional all the time
literally everything about how i portrayed omori actually that was all just awful
the panic attack scene is fucking embarrassing i have no clue what i was thinking. im so sorry for writing it like that i did 0 research beforehand
make it shorter why did i think that would work out
id probably just make it a fic, comics take way too much outta me compared to just writing things
it does not need a big epic ending and probably shouldve ended not long after they escaped black space
the romance is horrible but thats the foundation of the comic so idek what id do about that
stop making everyone talk like therapists 24/7
and yeah it has a lot of problems but i still do care about this due to the ammount of effort and love ive put into it, i just cant and dont want to continue it
so yeah thats where this story ends ig. i had a lot of fun along the way, and thank you so much for all the support. bigger thanks to that one sunflower discord server (if you came from there you know which one) for being my main motivation and support throughout this journey. sucks this comic never got to see its full potential but im relieved to finally lay it to rest. the blog will stay up for archival purposes but i will not continue the comic any further obviously. the ask box will remain open if you wanna say anything or if you have a question about the story or whatever. thanks for reading.
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okay but hold me like you scared to sounds so good already (they all sound so good tbh but this one piqued my interest lol) what's it about? and for the fanfic questions 32, 50 and J :))
@frappe-the-peppermint WE GOT ONE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ahem oh wow who said that. anyway ill do the questions first then get into fic discussion…
32) Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?
i listen to SO MUCH MUSIC!!!!! it depends on what im wrting tbh but i just queue up a bunch of songs in my liked playlist and write and write until it ends or im no longer on that flow. and well my music taste is an absolute mess so there isnt any one definitive band or genre that does it for me (i only pay attention Sometimes) but i suppose artists like mitski and queen would be a decent summary of my taste 😅
50) How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?
gravity falls, no stop. the first one that ever piqued my interest was versability (originally on ff.net me thinks) and god damn it HOOKED ME!!!! gravity falls was already getting me up but wow that just got me SO MUCH HIGHER. i have a few authors i started binge reading like thesnadger and pinesinthewoods, i started extracting fics from reccs from tumblr artists, soon discovered ao3, and never looked back. and as for writing fic,,,,, well frankly it was the search for the cure’s original form that got me GOING!!!! it originally had crappy ocs as the forefronters but i soon changed that lmao (im definitely not saying theyre bad in general, just those… no) and i wrote So Much For It on my notes app. i didnt realize i culd actually show people until way later, in which i did, and realized that it could actually be better. thats why i reversed back to part one, made the story a part two, scapped the ocs, and…now we’re here. i still love it and gravity falls, i dont really show it here anymore. i really should, man. i need to write for them again!!!! it still excites me!!!! and the prose that im weaving now,,,, id DEMOLISH THE GAME!!!!!!! :)
J) what your favorite fanfic trope? have you written it?
honestly i think just showing you my favorted ao3 tags will paint a very detailed picture. here:
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though i suppose if i had to pick one here…god its between time loop and presumed dead (and grief/moruning but idk if thats a trope so much as it is a theme). MMMMMMMM. mmmmm. just YES. the psychological affects of both being a time loop and thinking someone you love is dead but they arent actually are DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!! they are a MUST HAVE. i daydream constantly, but i havent written time loop yet because while i love it, i havent hadthe motive to write such a thing myself. reading is chill ✊ and presumed dead well i try to throw it is as much as i can, the most recent ive used being a west end town and my favorite being that one kid from jersey ! i need to do more of these fr. its just so GOOD!!!!!!
okay. its finally time for the brainwashing discussing of the fic ! i can tell you alllll about that story and it will be my pleasure sonny 🫡 its a very long story. but short verison in case you dont want to go on: its a Titanic epic . april 1912. iceberg. ive read a few that are AMAZING, but i wanted to write one that catered it allll to Me. it has lesbians, heaven sucking ass, flood parallels, and a king of the world AND draw me like one of your french girls scene. very nice 🔥
okay now its time for the long story. so a super super long time ago for a post i cant even remember (i really wanna find it 😭😭) i for someone reason went on a tangent about the titanic. i had just read this fic called sinking into the sea which was tbh VERY GOOD (and i would read it again fr fr ) but at the time, i was kinda bummed that aziraphale and crowley never actually Interacted when i had expected. aziraphale didnt even know crowley was there!!! it left me feeling melancholy, and realizing that all of the titanic fics ive ate up to that point didnt HIT hit the spot (i didnt find this after this realization, but again, theyre not even on the boat 🤧) so i was feeling a bit incomplete. i started ranting and ranting it was a wholeee wall of a text of what I would do with a titanic story and i realized oh wait i can Do Something with this because i haev free will and actual (somewhat) coherent skill. pepper jumped on the wagon, REALLY REALLY encouraged which i cant thank enough for, and….we’re here. its brewing. i had a very large interest in the titanic for a long time before this tbh, so being able to insert it into The Interest just JUMPSTARTED my brain and it still does to this day. now for the plot….
its 2020, a year after the apocalypse (no pandemic). anathema, newt, brian, crowley, and aziraphale have been assigned to plan adam’s 12th birthday party—they shenanigan, as you do. on the day of the party (adam’s birthday) anathema and newt find a chest in jasmine cottage’s attic full of titanic relics, including a pack of polaroid photos (handheld cameras did indeed exist in 1912, i checked !) which kinda might sort of have a photo of aziraphale and crowley!?!?! it was sent to them about six months before. but after the whole Second Volume fiasco, anathema just sort of wrote it off in that way and Hid It. but newt was curious, he found it, and god it was writtent his way wasnt it. (well, not by the nutter they were thinking of actually). anathema confronts them about itsoon after, and they all sit down to hear the story of the titanic in a sort of rose dawson beat. then its 1912—50ish years since the holy water incident and almost a century since the resurrectionists disaster. aziraphale has been assigned to take this trip to new york for Some Reason (we found out why later) and happened to invite crowley to come along to attempt to make amends after Allat (he really does feel bad, but he will NOT do the holy water thing yet </3) shit occurs, but history atlarge will not be rewritten. it does change their story, though. adding a sprinkle of interest in the device family line. agnes prophec(y)(ies), dancing on deck under the stars, playing cards with humans and winning by a Lot, aziraphale’s artistic skills are put to use at one point—ughghgufhits just so DEAR TO ME!!!!! and of course the conflict will come later, especially considering the religious connections to the titanic sinking—“not even God can sink this ship” type conversation 🥰 aziraphale can and will be made uncomfortable. its for the character development dont worry about it. i even have a playlist for this fic (it sorted by the way the tone shifts thru the story, some songs are silly but they had to stay). pep has also made some song covers to some of the songs that ive heavily connected to the fic and I REALLY FUCKING LIKED. LIKE A LOT. THEYRE AMAZING YOU SHOULD LISTEN IF YOU WANT TO!!!!
the point of all this is that i like titanic fics and im trying to throw my hat in the ring even if its just for me and my friend 🔥🔥 because while others have fed me, i havent seen ones that have documented like Every Single Day on the titanic that aziraphale and crowley would theoretically have as well as developing aziraphale and crowley’s relationship while taking into account whats happened before (insert the story into a part of the timeline seamlessly i think thats how i’d describe) AS WELL AS connecting the reason why the titanic was such a freak tragedy and how the world is not fucking fair instead of just “oh whoops the thing sank 😞” i want NITTY GRITTY DETAIL!!!!!! I WANT GUILT!!!!!!! I WANT CHAOS!!!!!!!! I WANT TALKING ABOUT GOD!!!!!!! I WANT AZIRAPHALE IN A MENTAL CRISIS!!!!! I WANT CROWLEY JUST WANTING TO FUCKING LIVE FUCKING PEACEFULLY!!!!!!! I WANT LESBIANS!!!!!! i need to get on this,,,, so much to do. i love it all and TY FOR THE ASK!!!!
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no-shxme · 3 months
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since ive had people asking about it, here's
an overview of my writing process:
its very long (but split into 4 sections) so i will be posting it below the read-more. i fr threw up all over the post and it covers my writing process specifically. because i write unreliable narration >> canonic characters, etc this will prolly not be as useful for like, idk, crack fic writers or whatever else. basically this is what works for me. it might not work for you, but feel free to peruse, im sure no 2 writer's processes are exactly the same. (AND THATS COOL)
Step 1: The Idea & Start
usually my fic starts with a single scene/mood/line, and the whole fic is started around that. (for ex: my fic Teeth started bc of 1 set of lines that we haven't even gotten to yet. [sob]) this also helps me be more motivated, as i become pretty desperate to get that scene/mood/etc written. (as i write i often find new goalposts to write to, which helps keep me motivated, yeah)
occasionally i will write out an initial drabble (like 1 or 2 paragraphs) set in the story idea i have, just to see if i like whatever's going on before i commit.
before i start i decide my setting or at least whatever parts of the setting are relevant. (i wont go into it here bc that's not exactly process.) then i'm game to start.
i've heard a lot of writers struggle with starting a fic and ending it. starting a fic isn't usually a problem for me but if i don't like how the beginning is looking it's usually because i've started it too far away from relevant plot. i don't want to write too much beginning set up, so my solution is always to delete what i have and restart the scene closer to when something happens.
(for ex: when writing everything that went wrong over the summer, the story started earlier and was going to have kayn discover rhaast at the end of the first chapter. but halfway through i decided it was bad. i didnt want to reveal too much and it was kinda boring, became a slog of wordlbuilding. i hated it so i deleted it and instead we meet rhaast in literally the second paragraph.)
imo if you are having trouble with starting stories, literally just throw yourself into the action, its the best way to jog a stuck start. move up the timeline, make things move faster. ask yourself if you really need all the space before the action happens. this method also be used on other scenes, not just beginnings.
it's generally a good idea to figure out what the minimum amount of time you need to complete your story. (this plot that takes place over three weeks, can it be done in three days instead?) but i dont always do that for fanfiction, more my personal writing. fanfiction can be loose and slimy, thats okay. i'm not gonna stress myself over it like i do with my book lol. for me fanfiction is like a vacation. since the characters are already established i can be free to experiment stylistically and try new things.
Step 2: The Writing (The Slog)
(The longest section of this post)
I actually have SO many notes for my writing process so this will be all over the place.
Whenever I write ANYTHING my goals are the following:
keep things concise, without crazy exposition or information overloads.
to me writing is kinda like a puzzle, or a combination lock. i have a line or thought and i just continuously swap words around in my head or on a doc until something clicks. my goal is not just something that fits, it's something that fits BEST. (i am not always successful at this.) so yeah sometimes a line sounds good, but how do i make it sound BETTER. i am always thinking about lines. all the time. i am always turning a scene in my head trying to find the best angle. im literally doing it right now.
this is a stylistic choice that might not apply to everyone, but i love writing unreliable narrators and therefore always write them. in fanfiction i like trying to keep the characters close to their canon personalities, so a lot of the following advice is through that lens.
WHEN IT COMES TO PLOT:
by the time i write my first scene i usually have an idea of the ending. i'm not too terribly focused on it but i definitely prefer to know it. its just something i have to reach eventually. usually little plot ideas will start sprouting up like checkpoints between the start and the end, and then it's just the matter of figuring out how to bridge the gaps between them. one of my favorite tricks i like to use for longer or difficult plots is work backwards. (i call it Keyframing)
(for ex: let's say i'm writing a story about a knight who marries a dragon, but i can't figure out how the hell that's gonna happen. an easy way to come up with ideas is think: what's 1 thing that has to happen between the start goal (there's a knight) and the ending (married to a dragon)? it could be something simple. the knight has to get to the dragon's lair before he can get married. okay, great, there's another plot checkpoint. now what's 1 thing that has to happen between the start and getting to the lair? and also what's 1 thing that has to happen between getting to the lair and getting married?
as you keep adding 1 thing to the plot between points, it basically writes itself, or gives you a very good list of things that HAVE to happen in order to progress the story. then you can add embellishments and tweak it, but its a good method i use for avoiding over-complicated plot. periodically i also ask myself: can this be simplified further?
in cases where i don't have an ending in mind (about 35% of the time) i let my characters drive the plot. this is very easy because i write unreliable, character focused narration. all i think is: ok what're they gonna do. how would they do xyz. hows this affect them. i'll also think about my end goal for the character as it slowly develops and ask myself if it's realistic for them. i don't write crack so if it's something a character won't do then i just won't write it. i'll figure out some other goal or method to achieve the same effect, even if the scrapped idea is cute. :C the end result is usually a more convincing character. (once again this is literally just how i write ff. you DONT have to write like this) in many cases the goal is fine but the method isn't, so i have to rethink how the character realistically reaches that goal. (this was very much the case in my fic, One Promise)
WHEN IT COMES TO WRITER'S BLOCK:
here's my methods for getting over writer's block in no particular order:
taking a break. (or a nap)
reading poetry (this helps bc i try to write poetic) or just read, if im in a pickle.
changing location. (if you write on your phone/laptop. just go somewhere else)
delete the scene and restart from a diff angle. (not advised tbh. i dont think this is a good method, even if it works for me. im only listing it bc its something i do.)
to a lesser degree: changing the font, listening to music i would never listen to normally. or not listening to music at all.
walking around in circles talking to myself about whatever line im chewing on. :/
Okay now im just gonna list a mixed bag of shit that pertains to my literal writing process:
i use google docs because i like to write on my phone and my tablet. i will write in bed before sleeping or in the car. ill write wherever. occasionally i will also use scrivener on my pc for writing assistance. or ms paint. (dont make me go into it)
i almost always try to write what the CHARACTER sees or experiences, versus what a narrator would see. (for example, in my fic Teeth, sett's ears are mentioned a lot. it's because talon keeps noticing them.) this is super important in my writing as it also serves meaning and makes things more concise. oh a character is an artist? so they might notice the technique in a painting. versus the same painting viewed by a carpenter, who might focus more on describing the picture frame. i have specific thoughts on (confident) character voice/unreliable narration, but this post is long lol. if anyone wants to hear it lemme know.
for the most part i only try to describe what's necessary. im not trying to introduce too many characters BY NAME or too many places or too much detailed description-dumping, unless im trying to hide something. ESPECIALLY IN FAN FICTION. one thing i keep in mind is that the reader will fill in the gap. like i could write 'a kitchen with green walls and one window' and boom you already have an idea of what the kitchen could look like. i could write a character using a stove and different readers might imagine that stove in two different places, as pertaining to their imaginary kitchen. that's fine. as long as the location of the stove is unimportant then i dont need to describe it. basically if it's not Vital to my vision then i often don't bother writing it. (this also allows me to push themes and sneak things, but this post is too long)
often while i write im thinking ahead, so ill start noting future lines/plot ideas to use at the bottom of the document so i dont forget them. if it's a long fic my lines-to-be-used will be like, pages long lol.
JUST WRITE. I JUST WRITE. sometimes its slop, that okay. i try to write every single day.
whenever i return to a wip i reread it to get in the Groove.
as i write i sometimes make comments (in google docs) on some words that i know are placeholders. like i'll write a sentence and think: i need to change that word, but im too in the flow to do that now, so i just make a quick note so i dont miss it when editing. i have shorthand for it too, like for example, WC stands for 'word choice' and REP stands for 'too much repetition.' sometimes im lazy and dont do this ._.
speaking of repetition, one of my lil tricks is to start a list of repetitive words as i write. i will often throw in the names of characters, and some common pitfall words for me (words that i have a tendency to use too often). this is helpful for....
Step 3: The Editing
okay first i take a break. the length often depends on how long the fic is. if its a shortie then i just play a game or 2 of league or smth. i must banish the story from my brain.
when i come back i give it a read over and edit whatever issues i see, reword, blah blah. i also use Ctrl + F with my list of repetitive words! this way i can clearly see problem areas where i've used the same word too close together. i will also Ctrl + F grammar missteps, namely double spaces, double periods, and double commas.
for word choice ideas i use wordhippo :3c sometimes i recognize that a line needs to cook so ill come back to it.
i also do character checks where needed. (Would they REALLY do that?) at this point i can identify a problem area pretty easily so i dont do it that much anymore.
then as my final editing step i read the whole thing aloud. this step is so important that i never skip it, even on long ass docs. reading it aloud to myself is vital. when i read it aloud i can actually test the dialogue and see cadence issues and random mistakes that i never catch anywhere else. for longer stories this is done chapter by chapter as finished, which is,,, thank god lol.
if im unsure about a story then i'll let it ferment for a while (days, weeks) before i come back and edit, just to make sure im not crazy or smth.
Step 4: The Posting
i post in ao3's rich text format, so it keeps some of the formatting. then i hit PREVIEW and then i hit EDIT again. bc ao3 is finicky about italics and will add weird ugly spaces bc of that. so to get rid of them i use my CTRL + F method again to check for space + periods (literally a space then a period), space + commas, double spaces (again), etc. i also center those *** things that people use as scene breaks bc they're never centered. takes like 5 minutes.
then i post and try not to feel immediately awful lol.
anyway that's my writing process. this ended up super fucking long holy shit. sorry i like, rambled and blabbed. i try to be thorough. there's a lot more that i can talk about not pertaining to the process itself but like, yeahhhh. thanks if you read all this, hopefully its not terribly boring.
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bombshelllblonde · 2 months
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hiiihihii!! im backkkk to tell u abt my rdr playthough bc im bored asf haha
¡love this game omg!! the graphics, the story, the details UGH!!!!
hunting is actually so fun for no reason- i bought so many fancy ass guns too 😭
also my play type whenever i play ANY story game thats open world is to do every possible thing every except the actual story so i get a bunch of stuff and then its so muvh easier
in short i have 6000+ dollars 😋
bonus of exploring everything is i got thw white arabian and i love her sm ‼️‼️ i named her pearl and she is my baby
dress up is my seconf favorite hobby
my fav outfit rn is the red vest w the floral pattern on the front (i forget what its called) n the black french dress shirt underneath + the bison necklace talisman
(also arthur w medium-long length hair n short facial hair>>>)
this game is so detail oriented, its kind of insane- im doing a high honor run atm, and i came across the blind beggar for the third (?) time and the blind guy said and i quote
"that is which killing you will finally help you, friend- to hear and see."
is this foreshadowing this feels like foreshadowing
also ik arthurs dies (bc of tiktok edits and fics, they artists in this fandom is amazing!!!) and im not prepared at all 😭 im going to procrastinate so bad 
ALSO CHARLES DESERVES SO SO MUCH I LOVE HIM
yk the hole lil speech he has at the campfire yk "most human beings seem to know why they were born but, for me- its seems i was just mean ton hurt and suffer myself" that one
im bawling istg if he doesnt get a good ending im going to be writing a formal complaint to rockstar games
anyways
tw opinions (ik bro its crazy to have opinions in 2024 whattt no wayy)
ive gotten to the point in playing where im in ch 3, and the only way i can progress the actual story is to help micah rob a stagecoach or whatever
micah is a bastard and i dont like him
him as a character is rlly well written and awesome but,,,,,hes,,,slimy,,and i hate him,,,,so he can wait for a little longer ☺️
my favorite characters rn in no particular order is
arthur (obviously) , charles , sean , javier , tilly , marybeth , and kieran
my pookies ‼️‼️
moving on im so sorry this is so so long 😭 idk anyone who likes rdr irl lmao
anyway hope u have a nice day and no wolves attack you and spoke ur horse who bucks you off a cliff
(in rdr btw)
((true story also))
yo, having 6k in chapter 3 is amazing. good for you!
my first playthrough i got the white arabian and i named her Lemoyne Tree as a tribute to the state of Lemoyne and my favorite post malone song Lemon Tree. But she always got super dirty so i then went to the lake next to Strawberry and tamed the red chestnut arabian. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that one, she's gorgeous and arthur always gets that one when i play it. my beautiful baby girl Diablo <3
also yes. heckin FUCK MICAH BELL. even from the beginning he's been a slime ball. hate that man <3
i won't go too far, but just keep yourself high honor towards the end of the game. you need that to be your first ending. :')
Charles deserves the absolute world. just listening to him speak and hanging out with him at camp, and the missions you continue on to do with him throughout the game are so much fun. charles is someone i wish i could have in my real life because he seems like he would be the best person to speak to and hang out with. he is so lovely and down to earth. even arthur says it a couple times throughout the game. charles gets a good ending i promise.
my top blorbos are Arthur, Dutch, Charles, Hosea, and Josiah Trelawny my absolute beloved <33333 just wait until you go on the mission with Charles to find trelawny. one of my favorite missions ever ever ever ever!!
a lot of people dislike dutch, but i love him so much. he is my actual father. i love him.
i also hate john. let me know how you feel about that little greasy weasel of a man. :)))
i'm so so so glad you're having fun and i am very invested, so please continue to keep me updated on what ur doing because i need to live vicariously through you. if i could erase my entire mind and replay the game over and over again for the first time, i totally would
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cyberdragoninfinity · 7 months
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Oh I think I saw the post u meam and (u can delete/ignore this is its too far from the point and shit) the "The only yusei I like is a depressed one" is so. Idk? Harsh? Hes allowed to ve happy and still be written well, he doesnt need to be shoved onto other peoples sins when the series already has him doing that. He can have an implied decently peaceful life until death. Sometimes! You do so much and oull so much weight that you become something intangible and divine to someone whos never met but still thinks of u! And sometimes its one guy and sometimes its them and the last remnants of the human race out of a desperate love for both!
Idk, just let yusei be like, not suffering 24/7, they forbid him from even entering the WGRP for fun bc ig thats bad to so many characters, let him have a scrap
YEAH. YEAH. god ive been thinkin about this all day, this is so good anon you get it you're Logged In you see the Intent of it all...
again like. if the 'z-one isnt yusei' thing isnt someone's favorite narrative choice, whatever, thats your journey, but every time i see this "well he was ACTUALLY supposed to be yusei from the future for real!!!!" rumormongering i want to groan into my hands, it just feels like this desperate grasping at straws because they really wanted Sick and Twisted Evil Yusei Real and then when that didn't happen they had to make up some grand production conspiracy instead of just taking the "welp, cant win 'em all" with this one and acknowledging that's just not the story the 5D's writers wanted to tell.
i LIKE a good protagonist corruption/evil!protag AU, they're really fun, but you're so right, this sort of Insistence I see when people are like "no, it was GOING to be true, z-one WAS dark and depressed and hopeless future yusei," i just cant wrap my head around it. there's just this sort of miserable harshness to it that i'm not personally very into. (in general i cant really vibe with this idea of "i need my favorite character to constantly be suffering." just really not my thing, ESPECIALLY WITH YUGIOH CHARACTERS??) (also. like. we already did have that. with jaden. and honestly yuma also is fucking Suffering too. it's cool seeing a different spin on things. idfk!!)
i just want to like. grab people really gungho about this thing by the shoulders and ask "why do you want a Yusei who willfully betrays and gets his friends killed SO BADLY? why do you want to see a Yusei who hurts people THIS much?" I feel like it would have just been so jarring and unearned. it doesn't feel like Yusei even in his darkest hours (which imo is part of why Z-one is such an interesting character to me--the concept of someone who thinks if they can wear a fabled hero like a pelt, if he can Become them, then that will fix everything, then They can fix everything. that's so fascinating and fucked up to me!!!! i love thinking about it!!!)
this idea that in the far future Yusei's become this sort of folk hero, this "something intangible and divine" like you said, just from saving the world and doing good and helping people, that's just SO neat and has so much merit and is worth discussing!! and it's unfortunate that you have a Not Insignificant amount of people who just wont even consider the potential narrative weight in it, who are so sore Their Trope of Choice wasn't canon theyre out here weaving madeup production stories to back up their personal disappointment. just. idk. you can give the 5D's writers a lot of rightful flak for stuff in s2, but i do very much think there was great intent from the beginning to have z-one be Just Some Guy who's rotting in a body that isnt his own, and to have him reflect yusei in ways without Actually Just Being Him.
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opinated-user · 4 months
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Genuine question? Do you guys hate what lily writes because you think stuff like that shouldnt be written or because she has done it irl/thinks its not bad irl?
Idk im probably missing a lot of context, but when reading about what yall have to say about the stuff she writes it reads like you think thats stuff shouldnt exist in fiction and is a reflection of anyone who writes that kind of stuff.
Im still against LO because what shes done is completely fucked and i can tell from the evidence ive seen that she definitely projects onto her work, and tries to cover it up.
But i cant agree that people who write or enjoy that kind of content are automatically fucked up or cant see the difference between enjoying such topics in fiction and in reality. If that's what you're trying to say.
i said many times (but not lately so that's my fault there) that if all LO ever wrote was stockholm or any other fic i'd have never cared about her as much as to do a whole blog dedicated to her. i won't read that kind of content out of anything more than morbid curiosity, but i also don't care about existing by itself and as long people aren't trying to shove it to my face without warning, i don't care for the readers either. if i honestly thought that LO wrote all of that just to be an edgelord and there's nothing more to it, she doesn't actually believe any of it or isn't sincere about it, then you wouldn't even see me talking about it in the first place. the issue here is, as you pointed out, that LO clearly project herself a lot through her works, that even she admits are self indulgent and a power fantasy for her, that she said explicitely that she uses them to deal with her "issue with intimacy"... and those work also happened to be the ones where there is a very consistent abuse/pedophilia apology theme all through out. LO is the one who talks about how she sincere is on her works and how much they mean to her, so you can't make the argument "fiction vs reality" here because she's not treating it like that. she's treating her stories as thing she'd actually like to happen and when those things include raping children and women while they're unconscious, only to later be lauded as the good guy exactly because of that raping, i think that's very valid to call out.
LO does not want there to be a separation between herself and her art. so let's not make it. again, in case it wasn't clear, this is entirely a LO thing. not about bad things happening in fiction that i don't like.
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nonbinarygamzee · 6 months
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something to be said about how homestuck as a continuity kind of gets away with the presentation of themes of csa and assault without ever having to commit to being stories that actually talk about those things because despite an at times overwhelming presence on the narratives at large, these topics only ever get Addressed in particular scenarios. most pointedly as means of blanket condemnation of characters the story already doesnt want you to like but keeps running into the trouble of having written them with more sympathy than intended. otherwise its all safely swept away into the implied, into the vague. for me, that only functions as another layer of alienation,to see things that happened to me and that have continued to literally control my life, regarded as like. a plot device. and i dont think every story that talks about abuse, especially sexual abuse, has to do so with this veil of horror and unease, because theres something to be said about making it a taboo too far that other direction, right. too horrible to speak about, thus too horrible to teach about.
idk. i think a lot about how as a teenager i was very into using the terms trauma/torture porn to describe why things hurt me so deeply, and how i feel now is kind of different, but moreso for realizing i was always kind of using it. differently. not to say i wasnt obviously a product of my environment in the hellscape of 2010s internet feminism, but like... for all it is a term reliant on demonization of porn as a stand in for sexual desire, i think its pretty evocative as relying on porn as a stand in for the horrors of an industry that uses bodies without care for those bodies. not to say porn is alone in that obviously, but theres a difference to me between a story that just invokes ideas of rape and assault in a way that is lackluster, or lazy, or clunky. vs a story whos insertion of these topics seems to function almost entirely as a means of shutting down a conversation. of reasserting that x character actually deserves everything without a shred of understanding and youre kind of the bad guy for thinking otherwise, since he like, totally raped/beat/molested that girl/child/whatever. and as further means of justification when those characters are then brutalized themselves, with a lot less obscurity than the supposed crimes they are committing.
i probably wont, because i doubt it would be pleasant for literally anybody else, but as ive been working on this little project idea of mine, i keep considering in application just going full ham on these themes, because ultimately in making anything sequential about homestuck, im kind of caught in this space of tearing open the walls of conversation the story (and its continuations) have been trying to shut down. i do not want to have that conversation on homestucks terms because homestucks terms have always prioritized telling me and people like me why we are wrong for feeling any kind of way, often before we even say it all, and then throwing our own experiences back in our faces and calling us perpetrators. if you want to have a story about the evils of preying on children, then actually have it.
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since ive seen people share their rq->anti rq stories before, i figured id share mine ig? idk. I was a rq around when it first started gaining popularity, so around mid 2022. I was deep into a lot of bad mindsets. I refused to accept the fact I could just be iraqi, because well. America doesn’t exactly idolize the culture. So i said i was rcta, and later transrace. I refused to accept the fact I had religious and sexual trauma, so I said i was transharmed. basically everything that wasnt perfect i refused to accept, so i pretended to be trans whatever. I got a lot of support from rq communities, even if i never had an rq blog and just sent asks. If i sent an ask about being rcta or transharmed or transautistic, id always get a reply with lots of support. I thought it was okay, because I was a kid. I was 12. Literally a child.
I dont know what started my realization it was wrong. I want to say it was just maturity, turning 14, being able to actually and genuinely interact with other people again, but i dont think so. I think that what actually happened was me starting ti accept my culture. The more I tried “transitioning” into being iraqi, the more i realized i already was. I cant speak arabic, im not too familiar with the culture, and ive never been to iraq. But being iraqi is still in my blood. Its still in my families recipe books, written in a language i cant read, and its still there when i visit my baba and i see pictures and portraits and memoirs from when he was my age and still lived in iraq. So i stopped being rcta, and i realized: “Oh. Wait a minute. Why am I [blank]?” For all my different transids.
i should also mention a big reason i started leaving was because i was genuinely having such bad ptsd flashbacks in the community💀 rqs are so much like a cult that the way they acted actually caused my brain to go “HEY!!! HEY HEY HEY, REMEMBER WHEN [religious leaders of my church] HAD ACTED LIKE THIS?? DUDE DUDE DUDE. THEYRE GONA DO SMTH. SMTH BAD HAPPENING. BE READY” 😭 like i was freaking out all the time. And everytime i had one of those post-panic attacks logical moments id be like “….so like. Whyd i do that?” And have to reflect.
so tl;dr: i was basically neglecting my heritage, trauma, mental disability, and appearance by pretending i was never those things, and was just “transitioning” into them.
dk what to respond to this but i'm glad you got out of the community and accepted who you are. rqs are assholes.
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adventures-in-teyvat · 6 months
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wrio’s story quest really just. haha. i have never wanted to kiss a fictional character more in my 17 years of life and that is saying a lot because i’ve thought before like oh this is it and i cant get any worse. but no this is worse i am literally about to delude myself into surviving my senior year by pretending he is real because ive been scrambling to find an ounce of motivation not to drop out and i just need him to tell me he is proud of me oh my god
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silly thoughts and SPOILERS under the cut bc im shaking lol (like seriously im talking all about the quest so dont click if you’ve not done it)
wriothesley after saying “all jokes aside” for the fifth time in one dialogue block:
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and this is actually fucking comical:
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wriothesley talking about his abusive parents: and then also i killed them and i went to jail
paimon and traveler:
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lol. its fine. i am fine. he spends time with each of them and COMFORTS THEM. im going to fucking projectile vomit everywhere he is not real he is not real he is not real
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:’ ‘ ))))))) i need him so bad
also here is us just vibing with him in his office because i just thought it was so lovely. its such a simple short scene but like this man can just sit and he can be in someone’s presence without feeling the need to chat or put on a front and he just. he just sits there. and he listens to his music. and he just. he’s there. idk. i think he would be the most lovely partner and person to be around because LOOK AT HIM HES JUST SITTING THERE COMFORTABLY i need it so bad i need to be able to sit with someone and say nothing and look at this man i just yeah anyways
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im still processing the fact that he . um his childhood. all of that stuff, um. and ueah, and he, and yeah . and he is just. the absoluteness of where he stands morally is refreshing. he literally is so. um . i cannot even articulate this. i cant fucking articulate anything right now. there is just something about this that i cannot process and it is driving me insane because he is so good he is such a good character he’s so well written and intricate and holy hell i want to have his babies. he should give me a hug i think. i think that would be good and everything would be fine then
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gammagoop · 7 months
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my recent fixation has been the wings of fire book series since ive been rereading it, which i feel is not very related to any of my other interests and so i havent posted much about it. but i literally have “post whatever i want” in my bio so i’m not going to let the whims of an audience stop me any longer
all that to say heres some of my series opinions in the form of tierlists
(not including 3rd arc bc i havent gotten there on my reread and i dont remember it very well)
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character tierlist! (added the legends: darkstalker characters manually since they weren’t in the tiermaker version)
notes:
mightyclaws is my background character fave. category 10 glup shitto event
i need to do a long post on how much i love whiteout. another day
i realy like clay in the first book and if he retained the same level of depth throughout the series he would be in the top tier-- its just that his writing makes him so shallow in the rest of the books it makes me so sad :[ i was listening (audiobook) to hidden kingdom and like. 90% of his lines/actions were about food and the other 10% were about protecting the other dragonets..... i related so much to his anxiety in the first book and his empathy and his ability to see both sides of things... gah. sad.
jambu is also one of my glup shittos. i love his whimsical ass
foeslayer is a hard one for me because she never did anything wrong she's just..... not as present as i wish she was. she's treated as a very vital character with how many large plot points hinge on her, but she doesnt have much agency herself. its stated a lot that she's extremely important to darkstalker but in the legends book we dont see much of them interacting? idk. i like her but she always feels so uninvolved
the 'beat you to death (funny)' tier is just for characters who i like on some level but are also pathetic and worms. out of that tier i like deathbringer the best and mastermind the worst
tier after that are for characters who i have a positive opinion on but not really a strong one. anemone and sora are more complicated, but i do generally like them. i really just feel bad for them if anything. i think i like clearsight more than the other characters in this tier, but she's not in the 'wonderful :D' tier because i dont think she has a very strong personality
the 'conflicting feelings' tier is kind of a trainwreck because it means a lot of things
obviously riptide is the outlier since he hasnt done anything nearly to the degrees of coral, glacier, and albatross-- but i do have conflicting feelings on him. riptide is completely inoffensive, hasn't done anything wrong, i just dont like him because he has no real reason to be in the story. like you could write him out very easily. his only purpose is to be a love interest for tsunami which is like...... gh. dude. she doesnt need one. if she's gonna have a romance it should come naturally. not "wow this seawing is handsome and also he's the first one ive properly met as well as a guy do im in love with him now" like girl do better
coral and glacier both have done bad things and obviously have bad intentions but also.... theyre not the worst. bad but not the worst.
albatross is a victim of emotional abuse and even though that doesnt justify his actions it does explain how they could have been negated
next 3 tiers are self-explanatory. i forgot to put her on there but queen vigilance goes in 'the grime beneath my shoe'
actually no i wanna talk about scarlet and battlewinner: i think the thing that i like about them is their theatrics. they bot have such a huge presence, like a disney villain. whenever i read scarlet dialogue it almost feels poorly written with how over-the-top she is but. no other character talks like that. its just how scarlet is. and i think thats so good. whereas battlewinner's situation conceptually is just cool as hell. i love how she struggles to speak because of the ice in her throat, her rage, the way she's hinted at but her reveal is completely unexpected...... very very good
no one likes morrowseer
when im in an emotional abuse and classism competition and my opponent is queen lagoon 😧
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ship tierlist! (made on ms paint since i couldnt find any good ones on tiermaker. turned out to be nice since i can mess with the placement more)
notes:
top tier is /j i just dont really like how tui writes romance
i was kind of against glorybringer at first for the same reason i dont like tsunami/riptide but honestly it grew on me. their dynamic is so fun
anemome/tamarin is good i just think tamarin could do better if she wanted to. but i understand the "i can fix her" mentality and i do genuinely think tamarin could help anemone
sunny/fatespeaker is kind of a funny concept but also i can totally see it
i genuinely forgot turtlejou was a thing in canon ... it does not make sense to me. who came up with this. in the words of my friend "forced heterosexual on both parts tbh"
i love turtle and peril as friends so so so much if i saw someone romantically shipping them i feel like i could get mad
smolder/thorn is like if glorybringer was bad. mostly just because thorn can do way better than him. smolder and vermilion should kiss each other and bond over being wimp princes who havent actually done anything wrong themselves but bow to tyrant relatives to avoid getting killed
i dont know if this will be an unpopular take but clay and peril is such an awful ship. i like them as friends, i think theyre great as friends, but a romantic relationship between them would be so deeply unhealthy considering their situation. peril would be even more dependent and attached to him than she already is, and clay is not the kind of dragon who has an easy time saying 'no' to things. it would not be a malicious relationship in any way, but it would not be good for them. peril needs to learn how to live for herself, not for the approval of anyone else
okay thats all for today friends. thank you if you read all of my mismatched thoughts if you did ^_^ i love talking
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courfee · 29 days
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20 Qᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ꜰɪᴄ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀꜱ
Thank you for the tag @snarky-magpie <333
1. How many works do you have on A03? 14 published, 1 hidden.
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 315,642
3. What fandoms do you write for? harry potter (mostly marauders and back in the day on ff.de also next gen, tho there is a golden era one happening atm), les miserables, and i used to write a handful of doctor who drabbles
4. What are your top five fics by kudos? 1. Operation Walburga's Arbitrary No Kissing Ever Rule 2. blindspot 3. All My Theory Complete 4. Borrow My Name 5. If you ask nicely
5. Do you respond to comments? Usually yes, though I am very very bad with responding (in general, not just ao3 this is a all messages kinda problem) and sometimes im off of ao3 for a solid 3 months before i check my inbox again. i am so sorry for all that, i do read all the comments when i get email notifs for them, i just often dont have the spoons to reply then and there.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably On Lies And Spies since it's a canon compliant peter fic, tho i think my prongsfoot fic might also be up there for competiton... (if we go off of ao3 i am currently writing a basically everyone dies fic and have written an angsty fred&george os on my first fic account)
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'd say operation wanker, probably
8. Do you get hate on fics? mm yeah.. amtc specifically... idk what it is with that fic but ive had all kinds of things said there... people who hated the ending, people who thought no one should ever forgive james, people who said no one should ever forgive sirius, people being just in general mean (and not even in english??).. especially the comments in the bookmarks suck, ive had several people rate that fic out of 10, have had people write an entire list of what i should have done different etc etc... it sucks cause i still like that fic a lot, the first long fic ive ever finished, but its reached a point where im scared when people tell me theyre going to start reading it :(
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yeahh ive written one jegulus smut fic. it was supposed to be a one shot for practicing purpose of seeing if i can do it and got slightly out of hand....
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've started writing one chronicles of syntax hogwarts au before and i did a comic forever ago where the 10th doctor and rose end up in hogwarts meeting the next gen crew
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? someone started translating amtc
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I've had plans, but we haven't yet gotten beyond the planning stage. would love to try it some time tho!!
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? whatever the fuck james and sirius have going on, their relationship has been my favourite for all eternity
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? My jegulus Krabat AU. I so badly want to have it written because i want to read it, but unfortunately the world is just not something i like writing in all that much
16. What are your writing strengths? Writing (un)healthily codependent friendships (aka james and sirius, (or the triumvirate)) and probably also consistency with little details
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plotting. I suck at it. i am very much a paper thinker, so if i dont write i cant think
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? depends on the context? it has to work with the story line and characters and id rather use it sparingly
19. First fandom you wrote for? harry potter (my first published fic was next gen, my second marauders all the way back in 2011)
20. Favourite fic you’ve written? probably either operation wanker or on lies and spies
no pressure tagging @messymoony @static-radio-ao3 @otrtbs @iceprinceofbelair @alarainai @delicris
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august help rat and i are going absolutely feral over running minds au . i didnt even know anything abt fnaf before this but i have been CONVERTED homestly . i need to ficify it so bad . God . oh right thats why im here i was wondering if you have like any writing tips ?? because i have Zero Clue what im doing and you are By Far the best writer out of everyone i know Shoves microphone in your face whats your advice to someone who has like never written ever . actually i have an unrelated actually pretty decent quarter-ish of a fanfic sitting in my notes app but i barely remember how i Did That so it doesn't count i dont remember what wizardry i performed to materialize all those Words
OKAY OKAY OKAY ive figured it alllll out. its honestly not much but it's My process. LETS A GO
august's shitass guide to all things fanfiction and planning (which is near nonexistant!) 🔥
i will be using my current nano project for this because honestly this is the epitamy of writing i have right now and i love talkin about it. sooooo GOOOO
1: Bare Basics
the tagline. the who when what where why. why are u writing this fanfic. for me its the Talking: i want my angel and demon to talk about Feelings, so im gonna make them talk about FEELINGS. this is personal fulfillment. it might take a while to get there, but i want them to TALK. for you, i suppose would be for ford and michael to meet and go on whimscal adventures. basics!
2: How To Get There
so how are we making aziraphale and crowley talk. how are we getting ford and michael afton smushed together in the multiverse. you, of course, have told me how that works. now is it important enought to flesh that out before the rest or just needs to be explained in a quick flashback? your pick, but since my topic is so vague, i definitely need context before it. that, my friend, is up to you. nothing much more to it. if u dont know how to start a fic, just explain how we got to what's intriguing about it (the crossover :))
3: Notes.
now is where the process BEGINS. what happens in the story. i usually start with miscellanous bullet points--everything i want to happen, no matter the order it'll happen, in a little page. here's a picture of one of my pages ib my notebook, with things i want to happen in my titanic fic (handwriting reveal?!??!) (TEA, IF UR READING THIS SOMEHOW, DONT LOOK AT THE IMAGES🫵🫵🫵) (SORY FOR HURRIED SCRIBLES, I WAS TRYNA REMEMBER IT ALL)
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there's literally no order. just stuff that need to be there, there. even if its as simple as the au coming to fruition, or even just one conversation, PUT IT THERE. its all the appeal. what you're doing this for. dontforget....
4: Outlines
now, before i tell you how to do this, there really isn't a way. here's a picture of my timeline for the fic mentioned earlier (not the titanic fic) (TEA AND OTHER READERS OF THE SERIES, ALSO DO NOT LOOK TYYYY ❤️❤️)
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see? complicated as fuck. it doesnt have to be that way tho, obviously: each chapter or one shot could be as simple as "michael is fucking ZAPPED, and meets ford" it just has to be something to work with. (i, on the other hand, need extensive help. so. there's the thing above. theres eve more its just online)
there really isn't too much other than that in the planning department. understand why you're doing it, know how to get there, and PLAN. detail it out. idk if this is an adequet explanation actually. if u need more specifics i can try again, but is what i got. do what works for you, work at ur pace, and such like. it doesnt have to be at this level, or even close. have fucking fun, dude. if u need morehelp, pls ask, or even consult blogs that help out specifcally for that stuff. GOOD LUCK!!!!! <3
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Summary: A hot tip turns into a hot night.
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V
Characters: Soldier Boy x unnamed female character/female reader (1st person POV) x William Butcher
Tags/warnings: still explicit, showering, Dom/sub, sensation play (cold), hand around the throat but not quite breath play, Butcher checking in (bc we all know Soldier Boy won’t), drug use
Author’s note: Idk where Hughie is, this is fic.
"No dogs in the Impala, and never take a joint from a guy named Don."
Thank you @brrose-apothecary. Love you, sis.
Gonzo journalism is an energetic first-person participatory writing style of journalism that is written without claims of objectivity, often including the reporter as part of the story using the first-person narrative, and it draws its power from a combination of social critique and self-satire. The word gonzo is believed to have been first used in 1970 to describe an article about the Kentucky Derby by Hunter S. Thompson, who popularized the style.
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The shower head releases barely more than a trickle of lukewarm water at best, but I’ve got America’s first superhero to lather me up with his big, warm hands and Vought Enemy #1 getting me dinner.
I melt into the soldier as he cocoons me in gardenia bubbles. He squeezes my shoulders and digs his thumbs into the tight muscles between my scapulae, slips around my neck and clavicle, teases my breasts, and dips down between my legs.
“Damn near forty fucking years without this,” he murmurs, firmly cupping my cunt in one hand before focusing on my ass cheeks and between. When he’s done, he pulls the handheld shower head from its perch and begins rinsing me off. “Spread your legs.”
I obey, and he tilts my chin up and to the side to deliver a searing kiss as he aims the quickly cooling stream of water against my clit. My legs shake as another fucking orgasm begins to build. Extreme sensations turn me on, even if my logical brain tells me it’s severe/bad/dangerous.
There’s no way I’d be upright if he wasn’t holding me by my throat. As the water turns to ice, I squirm and buck back into his thighs, as my brain attempts to rescue my body.
“Aww,” he quietly mocks me as I writhe in defiance, dangling from his grip. But he easily holds me the way he wants me, partially cutting off my air supply and waterboarding my clit. “Don’t like the cold, princess?”
I huff a gasp and convulse, trying to close my legs to block the torturous device. He shoves a knee between my legs from behind and lifts to plant his foot on the side of the tub, opening me wider. “Come on,” he whispers. “Come.”
“Fuck,” I sob and violently shake from the spectacular pinpoint of pain.
And then I do as he says.
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When we walk out of the bathroom, both wrapped in towels, Butcher’s just returning from errands.
“Supplies,” he asserts, as he kicks his unlaced boots off and makes his way to the table. “Nosh’s on its way.”
“You couldn’t get nosh when you were out?” Soldier Boy gripes, commandeering the bag.
“Weed dispensaries and Dan on the corner ain’t exactly handin’ out dinner, mate.” Butcher shrugs out of his jacket, leaving himself barefoot in black chinos and a fresh, white beater.
I pause from digging through my bag for something comfortable to wear and stare at Butcher, smoothing a hand over my wet hair before readjusting my towel. “Dan on the corner?”
Butcher crosses the room, his expression neutral and cups my elbow. “Our friend ‘ere’s more fond of Rocket Fuel than I reckoned.”
Soldier Boy’s sitting at the table grinding up a pile of white pills with the butt of his knife. I drag my eyes back to Butcher and start to pull away, but he won’t let me. His eyes soften around the edges only enough for me to notice. Then his eyebrows raise and his chin drops.
My gaze darts back to the superhero before settling back on Butcher. Then I take a deep breath and close my eyes for 4-3-2-1. When I open them, Butcher’s still holding my elbow and looking down at me expectantly.
Those eyes of his, you’d probably say they’re black, or dark brown at least, but they’re hazel-green ringed with amber. They hold layer upon layer of violence, trauma, and rage, but they do give on occasion.
“Okay,” I assure him with a tight smile.
We hold each other’s gaze for a few beats before Soldier Boy interrupts.
“If you think you’re getting dressed, you’re wrong.” He doesn’t look up as he continues to chop and line the pills with the sharp blade. “When I’m done here, you’re next.”
Not to keep bringing up my mother, but she would be absolutely appalled by every single decision I’ve made in the last 24 hours, including packing only three pairs of underwear, and up to this very moment when I decide to not press Butcher or question this super-powered asshole for assuming that I will remain naked and at his disposal indefinitely.
Butcher feigns nonchalance as he releases his grip. “Gotta keep our boy happy.”
Because indulging the radioactive, traumatized super soldier’s many vices is what we agreed to do.
It may not be the best idea, but it was Butcher’s idea and Butcher is usually full of... well, terrible ideas, honestly, but he gets the job done. I’m just here to ensure the American people get the story.
“I need a drink,” I sigh, heading to the mini-fridge for some electrolytes. I can’t afford to lose steam, not now. There’s no way the super soldier’s version of “taking it easy” on me is anywhere near the same neighborhood as mine, especially pumped full of amphetamines and weed, so I drink up and pray for food.
There’s a knock on the door and Butcher strides over to answer it. “Wine and dine,” he announces.
“Damn near anything you want gets delivered right to your fucking door these days. Amazing.” Soldier Boy says, sounding anything but impressed as he snorts one line and then a second in plain view of the delivery kid.
Butcher barely veils his annoyance long enough to thank the kid, snatch the bags, and close the door.
“Alright, I checked in with every cunt on the eastern seaboard, nuffin’,” he says, reaching into the bag and handing me a burger with a pointed look, then doing the same for Soldier Boy, minus the pointed look, before sitting down with his own. “So more fuck off time. Now what?”
Soldier Boy rifles through another of the bags from the delivery, revealing a new bottle of whiskey from inside. “For a minute there, I thought you really meant wine, but this’ll do.” He cracks the cap and tips the bottle back for a long pull.
Butcher shifts in his seat, working on his burger as I near the end of mine. That’s how fucking hungry I was.
Soldier Boy unwraps his burger and takes a bite. “Why don’t you put some music on, doll,” he orders more than asks around a mouthful of fast food. “Something to set the mood.”
He looks straight into my eyes, and my breath hitches.
The verdant ring of his irises is almost non-existent, crowded by the black of his pupils, and frenetic.
I swallow the last bite of my burger, crumple its wrapper, and toss the waste into the trash can a few feet away. “What kinda mood?” I ask, using my calm voice, hoping it has an effect on him.
He takes another bite of his sandwich as he watches me readjust my damp towel before scrolling my phone for a music app. When I finally stop fucking around and meet his eyes again, he’s staring at me.
He wipes his hands, holding my gaze, and my heart rate speeds up as he enunciates every word. “I’m going to tie you to the bed.” He pushes away from the table and out of his seat. “We’re going to use you like a chalice for our drink and a tray for our powder.”
He unknots and drops his towel to the floor as he closes the gap between us. He’s fully hard and looking meaner than I said he was before. It takes my breath away, and I begin to wonder if we’re crossing the line from gonzo to reckless endangerment.
“And I’m going to get you so fucking high, princess, that when I slide inside you you’re going to think you died and went to heaven.”
He refuses to let me look away when he reaches out and untucks my towel to push it to the floor. Then he moves in close, cupping my breasts to tease my nipples with his thumbs. “That kinda mood.”
My mouth is dry and my heart is pounding. I nod up at him dumbly and mutter something affirmative that makes him chuckle. He slides a hand behind my neck and dips in to kiss me.
When he breaks the kiss, he barely pulls away but makes it clear he’s commanding Butcher when he says, “Roll us a fat one so we can get our girl good and wrecked.”
Part IV
More Soldier Boy and/or Butcher
IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU'VE READ, PLEASE REBLOG AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!
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spookfished · 9 months
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big media roundup (july edition)
hellooo again welcome to my media roundup, where i talk about things i read/watched/played this month! (…and by last month i mean AN ENTIRE MONTH AGO. WOOPS in my defense i got sick [better now]) in july i downloaded tachij2k, which im going to be shilling forever as the best way to read manga on android (apk on github here) this also means that ive been reading like, a Lot of manga lol so i split books + comics into two.
books:
vita nostra by Marina and Sergey Dyachenko: a metaphysics-ish novel about a girl who is blackmailed into going to a magic school. sort of a subversion where (unlike many magic school books) it basically is all about learning and stuff? im kind of a sucker for books written by married couples i think its really cute and also kind of fascinating... um i sort of disagree with its approach to pedagogy but its also sort of about the blood sweat and tears part of learning,, where i usually quit beforehand LOL. got that eastern european hopeless and drudgery (?) but idk i would definitely recommend
the great believers by rebecca makkai: historical fiction that swaps between an art curator-y guy living through the aids epidemic in chicago and his friend in the present who is trying to reunite w her estranged daughter. i really liked this!! super devastating obviously literally scooped me like a melon. very well researched! i hadnt really grasped like. the sheer terror and paranoia? that happened during the aids epidemic before..... thats my lack of contemp history knowledge but it was good i learned a lot. liked the theme of sort of surviving through tragedy and even after.. and the line drawn between the lost generation (war) and yales own exp (EDIT: found sth i wrote after reading the book which said "people are living their own intricate and mundane stories and then the stories of the world smash straight through them")
assassin of reality (vita nostra sequel): sasha knows what she will become--has embraced it, even. but theres always something that can be lost, and the institute still has a heavy hand over her.<or sth like that??? the reveals of the last book kind of make it a hard act to follow and the book definitely felt a lot more abstract... ik some people complained about the romantic subplots but i feel like it gives stakes and grounds everything else, yk? it gives you a thread to hold onto otherwise i mightve given up LMFAO that being said i did enjoy it :3 wondering if what happened to the authors will change the vibe of the next book... :(
you exist too much by zaina arafat: literary fiction about a bisexual palestinian american woman who struggles with her addiction to unattainable love, which has led her to cheat in several relationships. this book didnt really resonate with me.. um i actually ended up writing like 500 words of review for this but its pretty negative. so if youre interested check it out here https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/970847361775591466/1147613251933306921/image.png
movies/tv: room with a view: a young english girl travels to italy and finds love there--but has to choose between that love and a 'proper' life. ok this was fine. idk it was cute and funny sometimes but didnt leave that much of an impression sorry :T
past lives: two childhood friends reconnect, lose touch, then reconnect again. aughjjj those two silent minutes where they were waiting for her ride were so freaking agonizing. really good acting pretty film i just enjoyed it a lot in general! :3 i didnt like the boyfriend that much at first but the conversation they had in bed made them feel like a real relationship, you know? wish theyd had a 3some though maybe it will happen in past lives 2: paster life. idk its like most of the time we dont grow up to be who we thought wed be or do what we thought wed do... but is that really so bad? cant you still be happy? *clutches my head
nimona (movie): adaptation of the comic above! um this was fine i think i was a little disappointed bc the jokes felt a little overplayed/didnt really land? and i was mentally comparing it to the comic but then rereading i was like oh these jokes dont really hit for me either.. so who am i comparing this to LOL i think it would have meant a lot to me in middle school, so maybe it will mean something to middle schoolers now. also ppl fought really hard for it to be made so i feel like i need to give it more credit. my mutuals meta also made me appreciate it more :3 https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/687877902200471552/1126752893312184390/image.png barbie movie: not going to recap the barbie movie sorry. i actually watched this twice it was really fun :3 i wouldnt necessarily say it was a Cultural Milestone or anything but it was cute to see everyone dressed up for the movie.. plus i love velveteen rabbit type storylines. i think ken got the right amount of screentime (its not his movie!) but i loved his dance number and the battle scene :3 and the outfitss idk im not super caught up on the movie scene but it feels like there have been a lot of ugly movies recently. i enjoyed it
the rehearsal: a "reality" show about nathan fielder, who believes that any difficult situation can be rehearsed--and has the budget to put that belief into practice. ok like last year or sth everyone was like omg this show was sooo good but i didnt really get what it was about? but its actually really so interesting.. and the whole blurring between fiction and reality as well as the audience not really knowing which parts are staged and which parts are 'real' is so fun! i was a little bit disappointed when it diverged from the episodic format but that ended up paying off bigtime and was really like idk heartbreaking and funny and all of that. very recommend 👍
video games:
super mario odyssey: (replay)super fucking mario yay!!! in the long run, odyssey didnt have as much like. cultural staying power as botw did (they were both switch launch titles) but its still soooo imaginative and pretty and dense! i love platformers love 2 run and jump.
visual media: he was my brother: psych horror manga about a young girl who tries to grow closer to her recently-deceased brother's partner. omg i had so much fun with this the art is so atmospheric and delightfully creepy...REALLY mind the warnings though. i think i ended up reading all of it in one sitting lmfao
nimona comic (reread): classic villain ballister blackheart is looking for a competent sidekick, but what he gets is nimona, a shapeshifting weirdo kid with secrets. i remember trying to reread this and going wow.... is nimona not as good as i remember? am i old? but it was actually just like early webcomic weirdness nimona is still pretty good! yay :3 i still like the comic better but i respect how they are adapted to their respective mediums and also come from different phases in the og authors life
The story of how I came to know my favourite announcer has a side to her I would have never imagined: oneshot f/f w the premise in the title. whether i write down stuff like this is pretty hit or miss lol and i had to look this one up to rmbr what it was but the art is so cute...simple plot but i enjoyed it :3
crossplay love otaku x punk: romcom where two highschoolers fall in love with the other's crossdressing alter ego (m/m?). i really liked this one actuallyyy its so silly and im also a sucker for love square shenanigans. ok also now that someone else said they think hana/shuumei is endgame so im thinking about it. not the right perspective for this but the crossdressing isnt really overly fetishized or like seen as bad or anything? also ppl make some really funny faces in this
breathless momentum (vol 2+3): r two womanizing musicians find love... in each other!? this is also another one of my favorites :3 the leads are so fun and also music yay music! i really appreciate when a romance is still able to present an interesting story even after the couple has gotten together..
damekoi r: sequel to "please love this useless me," (damekoi is like.. useless passion? i think) which is about a woman in her 30s who spends all her money on her college boyfriend and goes into debt and falls in with her shitty former boss. omg it was soooo cute like i already said its a romance set after the main couple has already gotten together. which is my favorite. but these guys are really fucking weird so they still have a lot of problems. having Another Man who fits michikos type and isnt totally evil come in to destabilize shibata and kurosawas relationship doesnt feel cheap bc their relationship is already not very stable? lol i think the first one is worth checking out if you love pathetic women
mr villains day off: a gag manga about an alien supervillain on his days off. ok this one is pretty much just centered around this fluffy guy who likes to look at pandas but its extremely not very deep but its very cute... i like it... i also like pandas
how do we relationship/so do you want to go out, or (reread): f/f slice of life/drama manga about a girls first lesbian relationship in college. ok this is like "the" yuri manga for me i would recommend it to any fans of femslash its like sort of very realistic feeling? in the way that a relationship can sort of degrade slowly through lack of communication and being different people i think its really great 👍
ichinose familys seven deadly sins: psychological drama. an entire family wakes up with amnesia from a car crash. they dont remember themselves or each other, but pledge to stay together and relearn how to be a family and try to find their memories again. but is it really worth digging up the past...? man this one really goes off the rails. but like in a fun way? has an interesting arc going on rn about like... what allowances do we give, what are we willing to forgive in a stranger vs a family member. pretty interesting!
oshi no ko (catchup): psych thriller about the twin children of a famous idol trying to deal with the legacy she leaves behind. ive been talking about this manga for a while to my friends lol its kind of like riverdale in that its sort of very good, sort of very bad--but overall just super engrossing! which makes sense in a way bc its about the entertainment industry but also about the relationship between an idol and their fan... um not so sure about recent developments though lol. a little bit scared to see where things go
blue period (catchup): a delinquent boy used to going with the flow decides to go to the top art school in japan. yeah blue period is really good. hope this helps 👍lets all never go to art school ever ok ^_^
still sick: f/f about an office lady who finds out her coworker writes and sells yuri doujins (like illustrated fanfiction?) on the side. its a classic! was nice to finally get around to finishing it :3
liar satsuki can see death: thriller about a girl who can see peoples deaths and tries to prevent them--except everyone thinks shes just a liar. ok this is notable bc it has the exact same like adventures and gaybait as shounen but its all girls instead. its good light entertainment! sometimes is um kind of horny for sth about high school girls so ymmv on that one
farming for love: m/m romance about a pharmacist who moves to the country after a bad breakup and meets a ~strong but silent farmer~. pretty average, but fun if youre into that kind of thing! not sure if i would really recommend it lol
chainsaw man 2: set after the events of chainsaw man proper, its an action shounen focusing on asa mitaka, a girl who kinda sucks :3 chainsaw man is so fun yayyy im happy to be reading it again excited to get hit by some more bricks! asa is a wonderful protagonist and fujimoto continues to write comitragedy (?) in a way thats kinda obscene but also very cool 👍rip single father denji
skip and loafer (comic): slice of life about an ambitious but awkward girl who comes from the country to start her high school life in tokyo!!!! and some guy i guess. omg ok this is like the slice of life manga for me rn (the anime is really good! finished recently check it out) its just really warm and nice. autistic girls win always lol truly a comic that makes you feel like there is love in the world
no home: webtoon drama about two guys who are trapped together in a haunted dorm. ok this comic makes me really depressed but its also about people who make each other better despite their best efforts. and also violence and hatred its really really good 👍sad about recent updates though.. i guess maybe the characters werent really meant to be friends in the long term
this took me like two weeks to write and now im in a different state LOL so um if you got to the end...thanks for reading!
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