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waterghostype · 3 months

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a bit of an unconventional post but here is rosel!!! struggling princess and novice of void she is my ninjago oc bc ive been infected with deadly oc brainrot disease…

oc ramblings under the cut lel

she is a princess with a tragic backstory . super original i know

in all seriousness she basically conjured up in my head while i was thinking “what could they ever do to recover harumi’s character from crystalized in dragons rising” and it all went downhill from here

she’s super energetic, lively, dramatic, basically a cringe theatre kid who doesnt shut up at all. she loves animals and nature and life and being elaborate and performing and all that jazz.

she’s basically harumi’s surrogate little sister. after being on her own for a bit and traveling all across realms she landed in this weird magical realm (one that i made up. lol) and was taken in by the royal family as a knight (basically) after she brought back rosel when she got lost in the forest. she’s having a terrible time in there BUT she’s staying because… there is a freakazoidal organization trying to take them down. super original once again.

harumi feels like shes sort of called to do something about it to somehow atone for her wrongdoings but she doesn’t want to do any more than she has to aka she doesn’t want to get close to rosel bc shes obviously very Not right in the brain and also because of her past

rosel originally had an older sister who was supposed to be the actual heir to the throne and she was totally chill with that! she liked to just have a second say in important stuff and do a lot of commercials like that was her whole thing and she enjoyed it. then her sister got assassinated so now she has to be the one to worry about everything and just be an heir all of a sudden. this is part of the reason why she got very easily attached to harumi and harumi knows this and understands what’s going on in rosel’s brain because a losing family then getting badly attached to someone bc you think they can fill that hole in your heart?? yeah not cool

doesnt help that harumi currently hates herself and thinks shes the worst person in the world (tbf she did do All that.) but the difference is when she was being unhealthily attached to garmadon he mistreated her BAD but here harumi actually tries protecting rosel and gets unfortunately attached as well which sucks! it’s like that grumpy old man adopts daughter trope except it’s a ~20 yo girl and a little sister

before she died rosel swore she hated her sister and they would fight allll the time. older sister (havent decided on a name) is really strict and pressured to do all her work as an heir and the oldest princess and i could go into more detail abt their relationship but just think oldest sibling vs youngest sibling shenanigans. theyd fight abt how rosel would never understand the pressure of being the heir in their political cilmate thing (yeah the made-up realm is going through it) but too bad so sad she got executed in front of literally the whole kingdom.

after a surprisingly short while rosel gets back on her feet after her sister’s death but shes just fakering oops. she has a bunch of bottled up issues but it’s ok! it’s ok!

also shes the elemental master of void. oops

this one is fucky wucky complicated but BASCIALLY my bs reason for her little mary sue op power is bc time twins were stuck in that weird time vortex all throughout everything And then the merge happened and the merge’s weird elemental energy whatever caused the time vortex and the twins’ elemental powers to get weird and because time is being messed up reality can be messed up and so this basically broken version of the time element gets transferred onto my girl rosel as if it was a regular degular elemental power which sucks bc it’s even harder to use and control and she doesnt even know how to fight so shes just struggling

she finds this out while on a journey with the ninja and harumi. like if it was a season itd be like episode 15+ she finds out. this is because she accidentally caused an important artifact to disappear out of nowhere, got sad about it bc she messed everything up, and then she accidentally makes a whole bunch of stuff (including living things) disappear too. yikessss

she doesnt want to hide it she tells the ninjarumi right away and theyre all like What the hell and shes freaking out but after some help she can at least keep herself from destroying literally everything.

until she messes up gets mega emotional loses control of her everything and starts voiding a bunch of stuff so she gets even more stressed which makes her void even more stuff and now shes basically destroying the kingdom shes been trying so hard to be able to rule. ooooopsies

after a whole thing with the power of siblingship and empathy harumi snaps her out of it and now shes absolutely baffled with what shes done and is a bit crazed abt the whole thing. bc of this she decides it’s best to train with the ninja (idk if she actually becomes one) so she can use her power better. btw harumi was able to snap her out of it and give her a hug without being voided because a) power of friendship and b) overlord resurrection she’s literally dead inside She basically is already voided in a way

so thats basically what goes on very sorry this is too long but i hope it all makes sense… i swear her story is better than the way i explained it (or maybe it’s not idk) i just have many MANY MANY thought abt her! i might ramble even more in the future so be cautioned. thx

heres zoomed in ver of the notes in case u need it

#ninjago #ninjago oc #lego ninjago #ninjago harumi #aphid artisms #aphid originals #princess rosel anjg #thats aphid ninjago #her design is weird i dont really like it all too muchhhh #but what ever #same thing w harumi oh my god that is the wippiest wip of a design dont even look #this is just her princess outfit though she has a diff fighter outfit #the thing is if she is a ninja i have no clue what her color should be #anyone else think too hard when making njg/lmk ocs.#like thinking abt what color bricks there are and what colors u can still use #and how a design would look on a minifig #sorry for being CRINGE but i cant stop thinking abour her…#i feel shes too much like me but better so it feels a bit weird #but shes more like me if i went theatre instead of stem #WHATEVER! i have an actual seperate like real cringe self insert ninjago oc Shes my for fun mary sue #bc making mary sue ocs is so fun #but rosel isnt like that shes like an actual character #ok i need to shut the up!

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transhawks · 1 year

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sorry for the cringe ask pls ignore if you want but with these chapters of the todofam do yuo think it is like "wrong" to not see anything poetic/pretty/anything like that about the family and mostly touya and endeavor situation? ive seen all these texts (not here though) abt how touya loves his father and is a Liar™ while also ignoring most of what he went through and his feelings of anger and bitterness i mean... sure there is/was love behind the hurt but i feel like i read the story wrongly

Okay, let's break down your ask a bit because it's not that I think you read the story wrong, it's that there's a missing component that I see a lot of people miss when it comes to stories like this:

you can love your abuser.

most of us love our abusers.

Now, and I think this is something I believe that uhh I've argued with my friends over - I don't know how much parents who abuse their kids "love" them. It's complicated and a case-by-case basis, but I want to say that often it's love for what they want the child to be, not the child themselves. I've said it a few times over the years: out of the all the Todoroki children, the only child that got Enji as an actual father from the start was Touya. Toddler Shouto is scared of him, Enji seemingly didn't interact much with Natsuo as a baby or toddler, maybe to avoid the issue he had with Touya. And, well, bluntly, Fuyumi was essentially a baby sister for Touya's sake. Add to that the Japanese tradition of male primogeniture, and you get a very, very strong reason for why Touya loves his father and hates him at the same time, especially since this is met with apathy from Enji's end (as Touya thinks). As @pikahlua said recently, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. The actions and desperations of Todoroki Touya to be seen by the man he loves, no matter if the man in question doesn't deserve this adoration, are signs of a child yearning to be loved by his father, not ignored. Now, let's break down your ask: "Poetic/pretty"

Abuse isn't poetic or pretty. It's abuse. It's messy, and it creates rifts and broken, messy people who don't make sense and move through the world breaking things further. I know that's quite a harsh thing to say about other victims like this, but I'm not going to candy-coat it - victimhood is not virtuous. Being abused and victimized doesn't automatically make you good person or a better person, and you are not a better person for having struggled. In fact, honestly, trying to do good will be that much harder. And this is exactly why cycles of abuse are replicated.

Touya is both a liar and he isn't - because he's abused and that creates irrational feelings about the abuser and what happened. His lies are mostly to himself. That's how you get Touya maniacally making a video decrying all of hero society propping up abusers while trying to murder his younger brother in sheer jealousy that he wasn't abused the way he was.

I'm going to use the same words I use for Hawks: when are you people going to understand people who are fucked in the head are fucked in the head?

To me it makes sense that Touya has conflicting thoughts and feelings because people, especially mentally people who got there due to abuse, have conflicting thoughts and feelings. That's what you go to therapy to fix. (no one in BNHA goes to therapy) So, where does that leave you, anon? I think it's again about a greater question of what kind of stories you want to read. I will always agree we need more stories where child abuse victims walk away from their families and get to be happy about it. I get that the reconciliation stories like Encanto have their place, but for so long that's been such a big narrative in why people like me have to continue to have ties with people who hurt us. But BNHA isn't bucking that formula.

Horikoshi's own experiences and perspectives on abuse want wish fulfillment. And in his wishes, he wants the abuser to say sorry. Most abusers never get to where Enji has gotten. However, a good chunk of people don't want Enji to even say "I'm sorry" in the first place, and that's where I feel the story was just not written with them in mind. So, if you read the story wrong, it's because you wanted something different from it. You wanted a different type of narrative of abuse. Neither Horikoshi or you are wrong in wanting or writing this sort of story, it's just that the story is not for you. And accepting that will make you a happier person in the long run. Sometimes stories just aren't for you. I keep beating this like a dead horse; a large amount of the fandom, especially among my fellow villain-stans, didn't heed my warnings that the story wasn't going to end with what they wanted and they'd end up frustrated and angry at spending so much time for something that feels flat to them because they couldn't adjust their expectations. Lo and behold, it's too late now and now people are in their feelings about something they could have simply dropped or accepted. I'm sorry the story isn't for you and I hope you find a manga that suits you better in the future.

#asks #dabi #todorokis #todoroki touya

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nameless-ghoul-trash · 8 months

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Papa emeritus IV X Ghoul!Mom!F!Reader

Part 3

Word count: 2.3

Lightly proofread

Warnings: Cussing

Part 2 / Part 4

The last two days had seemed the drag by. Your dinner plans constantly on your mind. It had caused several emotions to rotate through you. From anxiety to excitement, it seemed like a never-ending cycle.

Currently, you felt more anxiety than anything as you made your way towards his office. You had spent the last hour going through your closest. Trying to decide what you wanted to wear was harder than you'd have originally thought. You didn't want to just wear your everyday uniform. After going through every piece of clothing you owned, which turns out it wasn't a lot, you had opted for a simple black dress/romper. Doing some light makeup and wearing your hair down.

Coming face to face with his office door, your nerves were eating you alive. It had been so long since you had been in a situation like this, by your own choice. Pushing through, you knocked. The door opened before you had finished, a nervous looking Copia on the other side. At least you weren't alone. Taking in his appearance, you not the nice black button up and black slacks. He looks good. "(Y/N)! You are here." He cringed into himself at his awkwardness. You give him a soft smile, trying to calm his nerves and yours. "Please come in, il mio fiore!" He stepped to the side and opened the door wider to let you in. "Thank you, again, for inviting me." Your smile had yet to fall. "Thank you for coming." He countered, gracing you with a meek smile of his own.

Scanning the room, it had changed since you had last seen it. It was tidier. There was now a decent sized square table, adorned with a variety of different foods, that now sat in the normally empty space. With quick steps, Copia moved to pull out a beautiful ornate chair for you. "Please sit!" Taking your seat, you thank him. Waiting for him to take his place, you remove your mask. "I wasn't sure what you liked, so I had a couple of different options made. So please help yourself!" He motioned to the table. Doing a quick scan of the prepared foods, your eyes immediately land on your favorite. Copia takes a mental note as you begin to dress your plate quietly. He finally takes a moment to just take you in. "You look absolutely stunning tonight, il mio fiore." He said it as if he was completely enamored by you, which in turn causes your face to immediately flush hot.

Making eye contact, you both sit with an awkward air surrounding the two of you for a couple of heartbeats. You let out a small giggle. You felt like a human teenager. "Thank you, Copia. You don't look so bad yourself." He flashed a small smile, and his eyes brightened. Breaking his eyes away, reaching for an already open bottle. "Ehh, would you like some wine?" He motioned to the empty glass to your right. "Yes, thank you." Sliding the glass closer to him, he began to pour the pale pink liquid. "How has your day been?" He asked, push the glass back and filling his own. "It has been good. Pretty normal. How was yours? Anything exciting?" You bring your glass to your lips and savor the taste. It was light and sweet with a lovely berry flavor.

"It has been okay. Lots of paperwork and band work mainly." He talks while dressing his plate. The silence falls back into place as you both begin to eat. It continues that way till Copia notices you glass empty. "More wine?" He offers. "Yes, thank you!" You smile politely, and he fills your cup. "So, what is it like being Papa for you?" You were curious. "It's a lot, honestly. There is always something that needs to be done or someone who needs me. Sono sempre stanco, but I make due. The other Papa's had made it look so easy." You chuckle. "It was not easy for them by any means, I can tell you that. They all had their own struggles."

"Were you close to them?" You take a sip before you answer. "I suppose in some ways. I've been around for a long time. I essentially got to watch them grow into the men they were. I even got to see Papa Nihil in his youth. I was probably closest to Primo out of all of them. Even in his younger years, we just kinda clicked." Copia soaked up every word. He enjoyed learning about you and what you had to share. A sadness rang through his heart at the discovery, though. You had been close to his brothers. Brothers who are long gone from this earth. "What was it like?" The question confused you. "Was what like?" "Knowing them. What were they like. I never got the chance to know them beyond surface level." Studying his face, you let out a sigh. It hurt to think about them, but didn't he deserve to know who they really were? "Primo was strong headed and passionate about his hobbies. He loved his garden fiercely and took his duties very seriously, but he had a sense of humor. He listened with such intensity and gave the best advice." You took another sip from your glass before continuing.

"Secondo was similar in ways but so different. He was wild in his off time. Confident. While he was Papa, he was strict but kind. Terzo was wild, too. He was flashy, flirty, and flamboyant in a sense. He probably struggled with being Papa the most out of the three. Not that he didn't try." Sometimes Copia wasn't the best at hiding what he felt. This was one of those times, everything showing on his face. "Are you okay?" Your question seemed to catch him off guard. "Like really okay?" Giving a small smile, he nods. "Sí, il mio fiore. Why do you ask?" "Just asking. Sometimes, it's good to check with people." He quieted for a second, looking at you. "Are you okay, il mio fiore?" You opened your mouth to say something along the lines of 'I'm fine' but stop yourself, pressing your lip together. You hold contact with his mismatched colored eyes.

This was an opportunity to talk to someone. To let someone know what you feel, but also get hurt. It was an opportunity to build an attachment that would inevitably end. Leaving you alone again. Could you take that risk? Would you even allow yourself? When you had lost Primo, it had been so hard. He had been your best friend for so long. Could you do that again? You already felt too close to some of Copia's ghouls. A tight feeling forms in the back of your throat as you try to hold your emotions in. You could feel your eyes grow watery. It was overwhelming. Having all these questions for yourself but no answers. 'You know i honestly don't know.' Is what you should say. Be honest with him.

"I guess I manage." It wasn't a lie. His eyes lingered on you as if he could sense the inner turmoil but did not press. Shifting your attention back to your plate, you take a couple of bites. "Tell me about what being on tour is like." He perked up at the topic change."Oh! Touring both funny and exhausting. Getting to see different people and places, but it moves so fast." You listen intently as you eat. "When I am on stage, I can be confident and myself. I can mess with the ghouls, and they mess back. The crowds love it. It feels good. Sleeping on the bus isn't great. It's probably my least favorite part. " You give a chuckle at that. "You said being on stage makes you confident?" "Yes. I could say or do practical anyway, and the fans would eat it up." He makes a nom nom nom sound that causes you to laugh. "Sometimes, it feels like I have to keep up the raunchiness, but that's not hard." He wiggled his eyebrows, and you both laugh. "I bet."

As the laughter died down, Copia spoke up. "I have a bit of a, eh, personal question." Smiling, you nod, encouraging him to talk. "What was it like when you were summoned?" That was probably the last question you thought would be asked. "Oh, umm." "You don't have to answer if you don't want to!" He quickly amended, sensing the shift. "No. No, it just kind of took me by surprise. It wasn't - " You pause leaning back in your chair. "It wasn't good. I was summoned by Papa Nihals' grandfather in 1894. They were very inexperienced. Still trying to figure us ghouls out. When I was pulled from the pit, I was pulled away from everything I knew. I had to leave those important to me. I was confused and scared. It was all so different from what I'm used to. Even time moves differently. Unlike now, I had no one to help me understand. " Copia kept his eyes glued to you, listening to every word with intensity. "I was "farel". I attacked and killed 3 men that night. What did they expect? You back someone into a corner and expect it to go well. Doesn't work that way." You watch him, gauging his reactions to the information you were giving him.

Copia was hardly fazed. You were a ghoul. He had been around enough throughout his life to know better. "They kept me locked away from the majority of the clergy and siblings of sin. The rest of the summoned ghouls seem to have adjusted fairly quickly. It took me four years to come to terms with what was now my life." Copia was still processing it all. "I'm sorry. That must have been hard." You shrug. "Shit happen. It was a long time ago. Just make sure you are understanding of the new ghoul." You began to fill your glass again only for it to not even fill a quarter of the way. "Looks like we went through that fast." You laughed out. "Want to go for a walk and snag some from the good stash?" Copia asked with a look in his eyes that was new to you. Something akin to mischief. "Hell yeah!" You stand, swallowing the leftover wine in your glass and done your mask. Copia follows. "Let's go."

Leaving his office, Copia leads the way. Fallowing close behind you notice, he's not heading towards the celler. No. He leads you straight to Sister Imperators office. "No way." You look at him with wide eyes. He flashes another mischievous look and pulls out a set of keys. Unlocking the door, he quietly makes his way into the room. "Keep a look out. Wouldn't want to get caught." There was an underlying snicker in his voice. You kinda liked this new side of him. It was playful. You look both ways down the hall as he goes straight to a wood cabinet in the corner and pulls out 2 bottles from the back. "Let's get out of here." He scurried back out of the room, handing the bottles to you so he could lock the door. You definitely felt like a human teenager. Grabbing one back, he makes quick strides down the hall and in the direction of the door that leads to the garden. He looks back to you. "I have something I want to show you." Holding the door open, he waits for you to exit.

Once you're both outside, he grabs your hand and tugs you in the direction of the out edge of the garden. Coming to a full stop at the herb beds, you notice some new additions. A brand new stone bench sets in front of the lemon grass, which butts up against Primo's greenhouse. On either side of the bench are pots filled with (favorite flower).

This is your spot. You often come out here at night to think or spend some time alone. Turning to face him, you see him watching you. "You did this? How did you know?" His ears and neck flush, and he brings his hand up to rub the back of his neck. "As much as I would love to take credit, no. I didn't do it alone. I employed the help of my ghouls on this one. Sodo and Mountain mainly." You surge forward and pull him into a hug. "Thank you." He slowly hugged you back. "Sei il benvenuto, fiore mio." Pulling away, he gave you a smile.

Walking over to the bench, you plop down and pat the spot beside you, smiling back. As he was sitting down, another voice rang out across the garden. "Papa!" Groaning softy, he stands back up. "Sí?" Before too long, a Sister makes her way over, handing him a letter. "Papa, Sister Imperator has requested you meet her in her office." "Yes. Tell her I will be there shortly." Nodding the Sister turns and leaves. "Unfortunately, our time has been cut. Il mio fiore, please forgive me." Offering him a small smile, you reassure him. "It's alright. I understand." "Would you like me to hide these for another time?" He holds up the bottle in his hand. "I would love that." You hand him yours. "Goodnight, Il mio fiore." "Goodnight Copia."

A sadness spread through your chest as the feeling of loneliness came creeping back. Watching him turn away just made it worse. Before you knew it, your body reacted, reaching out and griping his wrist. A thought shot across your mind. What are you doing? Your actions seemed to startle him as he looked back at you. "Will you come back here? Tomorrow night? To meet with me?" You ask, desperately wanting him to say yes. "Of course. Right before dark. I'll be here." With that, you let his wrist go, and he walked away. With him out of eyesight, you bring your knees to your chest and enjoy sometime in the garden.

sono sempre stanco- I am always tired.

Sei il benvenuto, fiore mio.- You are very welcome, my flower

If at least one part of this gave you second hand embarrassment, then I portrayed the akwarkness the way I wanted to. Sorry it took so long to get this one out. I spent like 3 hours one day trying to work out dates for when (Y/N) would have been summoned and rewrote this part like twice. Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed the read. As always, feedback and requests are always appreciated and encouraged.

Tags

@maddie-21-skye

@seestorpopia31

@water-ghoulette

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kiruliom · 11 months

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you know what mental disorder people make hard to talk about even within communities built on it, besides paras?

munchausens.

and I get the reasoning, its scary. even if the whole disorder's thing being faking another disorder/illness/trauma wasnt doing it, fakeclaimers love to abuse the word until it loses its meaning.

so as someone who actually has it Id like to clear some stuff up

first of all, this doesnt mean Im faking any of my conditions, maybe not all of them are entirely accurate, but thats because I havent been able to find disorders that better describe it. Ive researched each of my conditions religiously, and talked most of them with my psychologist, who we already agreed I shouldnt get a medical diagnosis for because it could literally ruin my future where I live.

we're not "transabled", yes a portion of our community unfortunately does swing that way, but thats because thats the only community that wont immedietly flip its shit when you say "hey I dont actually have this disorder but I feel like I should have it" and thats so fucking sad. Im very anti-transabled and similar things. hell, even I was terrified of bringing it up until now.

its not a delusion, not for me, at least. I know I dont have the disorders I feel like I should have. so its not a mental equivelant of BIID. most of us feel that way because we're neglected, or feel we should have been affected worse, and some part of us grips to the false fact that maybe if we were hurt worse people would actually care, even if deep down we do know better.

it is incredibly rare. rarer than plurality even. so most fakeclaimers who immedietly resort to blaming munchausens for disabled people they claim are cringe, guess what!! that shits even rarer than whatever bullshit you claim cringy teens are faking.

if you believe someone is faking a disorder, let them!! ignore them!!! personally Id let 1000 people get away with faking shit than fakeclaim someone who actually has that disorder you claim theyre faking. and similar to delusions, it often makes us 'get into character' even harder, and just ruins our mood and makes actually disordered people around us insecure as well. there is no 'right' way to be disordered.

me, personally? Ive never gone as far as to fake a disorder, but god damn did I have the urge to and still do. I would be that whole 'he has every mental illness' meme if I didnt have as much self control as I did. but honestly would you even know if I did? I wouldnt tell you. because that means Id no longer get the attention I already wasnt getting because realistically no one cares and those that do are annoyingly pitying about it.

if any of you have questions about this, dont be afraid to ask, as long as you dont accuse me of shit Id love to talk about it. I just want more information on us out there :(

fakeclaimers fuck off or Ill rip your throat out

-Reggie and Velvet

#not flagpost #munchausen syndrome #facticious disorder #actually munchausens #facticious disorder imposed on self #FDIOS #munchausen #actually munchausen #LIOM #liom community #liom friendly #liom blog

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anonzentimes · 12 days

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That's not the only example. Some antis tried to use one line from Monaca in DR3 to push a theory that Nagito raped her as an Ultimate Despair. You can still find the theory on one of TVTropes' pages.

There are just some really blatant double standards in the way the fandom treats Nagito, compared with the rest of the cast. He alone gets singled out for speculation of having committed rape as an Ultimate Despair. He alone has people casting doubt on whether or not his illnesses are real, due to how they're depicted. You don't see people claiming that Toko fakes the Syo persona, or that Nekomaru's fight scenes mean his heart condition isn't real.

OH MY GOD IVE USUALLY BEEN WAITING UNTIL IM AT THE HOTEL (i am in the middle of Epcot <3) TO ANSWER THESE BUT I GENUINELY HAVE NEVER CRINGED HARDER WHAT IM SORRY WHAT LIKE I WAS SHOCKED MOUTH GAPE OPEN WHEN I READ THAT WHAT. WHAT DID THIS POOR MAN DO TO YALL TO DESERVE THIS TREATMENT GOOD GOD,,, A QUEER MAN WITH A DETERIORATING BRAIN EXISTS AND PEOPLE TRY TO ERASE HIS SEXUALITY, BE BOARDERLINE ABLEIST, TRY TO ERASE HIS DIAGNOSIS, AND MAKE UP THINGS ACCUSING HIM OF WHAAATTTTTTTTT AS A DESPAIR IM SO DONE NO. NO WAY. HE CANNOT CATCH A BREAK. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I REMEMBER WHY PEOPLE COMPLIMENT ME FOR JUST RAMBLING ABOUT HIM 😭😭😭😭

#nagito komaeda #danganronpa #sdr2 nagito #danganronpa nagito #danganronpa komaeda #sdr2 komaeda #komaeda nagito #sdr2 #danganronpa goodbye despair #nagito #komaeda #nagito sdr2 #sdr2 nagito komaeda #nagito dr #nagito dr2 #komaeda dr2

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pangyham · 6 months

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sorry to anyone who has to see this HAHAHA i think it's a little fun to ramble to.. a void i guess. i'm typing this under the assumption no one's gonna read it, let alone find it, so, sure, i'll talk!

on pangytine, my current and only instagram account, i sometimes get these spontaneous urges to post a huge a long overdue thank-you paragraph to my followers on my story. gratitude for indulging my artistic endeavors when i still had tangypine. i just never did it because.. well it's kinda.. cheesy... i had no idea how to deliver it in a way that didn't seem dramatic or "humble" because cmon, i'm not that relevant. It felt a bit weird addressing it because it just made it seem like i was this huge influencer who suddenly disappeared (and yes i know i was technically considered a big artist on both ig and twitter but.. it's not like i was unique; i think.. the state of Fandom and the art community these past few years makes accumulating thousands of followers a little less unattainable, and i was one of those artists. and my work is not phenomenal- i did not leave an impact on the art community. but these nuances will just have to be generalized for now because i think you all know what i mean) and so i couldn't help but laugh and cringe and think, "i am not this relevant-" because i really wasn't. why make a big deal out of it?

but i can't help it being a little dramatic though, because i still get emails from my followers asking where i am, and i get comments and messages on pangytine ("i finally found you!"), and i even get messages from my shop's contact form! a shop that i've abandoned for months! and my heart swells. I don't want to dismiss that; i think i will always be a sensitive, emotional person and so stuff like this just makes me overwhelmed. it's sweet, and it will never fail to make me a little bit nostalgic and thankful. I will always have a soft spot for tangypine and my time spent in the anime + genshin communities… i dunno.. people are just so kind and i'm thankful i've encountered a lot of them

i've been a lot less.. chronically online (LOL) that the thought of having 200k followers is completely foreign to me. i forget that i had a huge following, that people actually looked at my stuff. I dont mean for this to come across as modesty though because i'm just being honest, truly. but this just makes the occasional "where are you? i miss your art" hit a little harder 🥲 i mean, i was able to somehow sell my art through tangypine. i was able to do commissions.. had so many say they loved my art- of course a part of me misses that. i don't think i yearn for it, and knowing that makes me a little sad.

i genuinely am thankful for every kind comment people have left me, and every kind message. I think i'm just ultimately thankful i had a kind following. people are so nice! and that's what i wanted to say, that's all ive always wanted to say before i deleted my accounts. here it is

aha and again i dont really expect anyone to see this (except maybe a few handful just because my very first post here has a whopping 4 notes, me included, and that genuinely shocked me HAHAHA). perhaps i just find closure in publishing these particular thoughts somewhere, and here they are sorry this is cringe to the people who read it. my friend once told me i'm notorious for overexplaining. This is will be the only time i get to say this, so gah whatever. i don't think i can bring myself to post this lengthy ramble on my more public account on instagram

#tangy says something to the void

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raisinchallah · 10 months

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you know ive had this cleanliness ocd for so long its like totally warped my perceptions of normal or average levels of cleanliness like i fully know how i behave is diseased and insane so i sometimes over correct in my mental model of like normal person its like wow i wash my hands so much to the point that its like well i wont stop doing it but i do believe its cringe but its like wow washing your hands after touching garbage i bet normal people manage just fine without washing their hands because its like the ritual itself is in some ways totally devoid of context from actual like health and sanitation reasons for hand washing and also the fact it paradoxically makes it harder for me to do regular house cleaning because to clean things i must be made dirty and find that state to be unbearable and also that some of my bizarre beliefs are predicated on the idea of avoiding touching something dirty and not necessarily in relation to like how clean any object is and sometimes is more about building walls around dirty things rather than cleaning them because theyre so tainted they can never be clean but again ive had this problem for 10 years so its sometimes like wow if you were normal you would be able to go to sleep covered in mud (over correction not related to actual societal cleanliness expectations) or like thinking hair that is greasy but has not touched anything besides my pillow is clean but hair that was freshly washed but touched grass is dirty and diseased you know its all very silly and topsy turvy and in some ways i still have no clue how to keep clean in a normal way which despite it occupying my mind constantly i then find it kind of difficult to take care of myself..

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toadstool32 · 1 year

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its the sextuplets birthday! in celebration im ranking them based on personal preference <3

karamatsu < i like him

osomatsu < i like shitty older brothers when theyre not my own

jyuushimatsu < i dont even think he knows how baseball works

todomatsu < hes such a bitch i love him

ichimatsu < cat

choromatsu < at his best when insane

the nature making numbered list make it so that they all have a rank but if anything it would be like > 1 karamatsu >2 osomatsu / jyuushimatsu >4 todomatsu / ichimatsu > 6 choromatsu

now im gonna proceed to rank them as combinations <- insane behavior

i got the names from this list!

im mostly ranking them by how funny they are but comedy is subjective feel free to send me anon hate ovr this i dont care

doing this in a five star format! ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

choukeimatsu: starting out strong! i love shitty older brothers! they suck <3 five stars ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

sokudomatsu: its ok, i like they more when they act out as other characters than themselves, they either do a funny skit or their manzai act, this one is a toss up for me! ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖➖

parkamatsu: their shittyness and cuteness level gets balanced so evenly... its precious to see truly..... however!!! its cute to see oso treat ichi like a cat / a future ward of the state but alas its not tickling my funny bone as much ⭐ ⭐ ➖➖➖

bakamatsu: i like stupid idiots, i want more of them ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖

benimatsu: oso n todo are such shitheads fr, they enable eachother to be the worst version of themselves, which is both cute AND fun ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

suirikumatsu: i read this one comic where they both get bullied by everyone else and then get revenge at the beach, (ill find and reblog later) other than that i dont think they really have that many skits together? booo. its rough out there ➖➖➖➖➖

iromatsu: its mid, it makes me cringe more than laugh, well, thats a lie sometimes i do laugh, its a toss up really, (i do like the bazooka scene tho) ⭐⭐⭐➖ I

musclematsu: while iromatsu its ichi using kara as a chew toy karamatsu is like, a chew toy with spikes, and fire and hurtful things, so ichimatsu receives psychic damage by that. Yeah that does not happen with jyuushimatsu this is like a uno reverse, these two are made or way harder stuff, and way dumber too, five stars ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

woodmatsu: theyre sweet :3 its a good balance between karamatsu being a chewtoy and todomatsu being the tsukkomi fishing with love letters and falling in love with the same cashier? pretty solid gags ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖

middlematsu: funniest gag they ever did was the fact that they never talk to eachother, nobody has a good time here, four stars only bc its a rare one ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖

wakabamatsu: are u fucking kidding me ok this one is interesting bc when jyuushi is the boke i feel like the skits run way to long, i still laugh but whatever not the point. but when they make jyushimatsu choros tsukkomi??? insane behavior honestly. ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖ ➖

cybermatsu: funniest shit ever, choromatsu shines with todomatsu as his pair truly, funniest shit ive ever seen ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

numbermatsu: top tier! what do i ever have to say here they just work ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

110matsu: catty bitches, ichimatsu gets to be weird in new ways here such is the curse of being a good straight man! hang in there todomatsu!! ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖

youngestmatsu: they r so fucking cute, cant remeber any skits with them tho, oh well ⭐ ⭐ ➖➖

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

ok now im gonna do groups!! but not really just the ones i care about, fuck the list im doing numbers now:

125- i like idiots, i want more of them, jyuushimatsus fun day with his big brothers (goes wrong) <3

456- shitty little brothers represent! u cant be mad at them theyre just little guys and its their birthday :3

346- catty bitches but more toxic, this one rulez, the self awareness has left the room

146- i think theyre neat

126- this is just my dream blunt rotation lets move on

246- i thought abt girlymatsu for a bit and passed out for a sec imagine this with me

thats all!!! get out of my post!!!

#osomatsu san #ac #long post

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junebudinfodumps · 1 year

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infodump #1: LaLaLand THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!!!!!

this shit is straight from the notes app but with more cohesion (also this is from august)

thoughts about the ending:

i knew that rewatching lalaland was a bad idea and i knew that i would probably cry but i thought that maybe this time would be different!! it wasn’t. i’m now crying in my bathroom while trying to paint my nails but i’m also thinking about the devastating ending of that movie and how mia looks back at seb for one last time. and she does with it so much love and admiration in her eyes and seb looks back at mia with that same love and admiration and they’re both so proud of themselves and each other and how far they’ve come but the devastating part is the realization that they wouldn’t be where they are now if they had stayed together. it would’ve been one or the other and they would’ve been unhappy. the epilogue is just an idealization!!! mia became an actress but seb never got his club!!!!!!! so while they were happy with each other when they were together, it wouldn’t have sustainable and it would’ve ended even worse. it’s just so heartbreaking and i hate it. i hate it so much. but yet i come back to this devastating movie time and time again.

and what's worse is that even though they aren’t together anymore (and couldn’t be), they will always love each other and that shit hurts. that’s unconditional love and it hurts my feelings and i don’t like it.

thoughts about the start a fire scene:

the concert scene where seb is playing and the piano and is making eye contact with mia the whole time?? that scene is so important to me. the crowd rushed in to get closer to seb and mia is pushed away from him. mia is so confused in this scene as well because she knows it’s not jazz and she knows it’s not what seb wants to play. the crowd pushes her away from seb and it shows the distance that’s slowly growing between them because of how busy they both are getting with their own projects. it’s devastating. and then things get tight and things snap at the surprise dinner and that’s where everything starts to fall apart and start to end. they never really thought about their futures and how their career paths would fit in with their relationship. they obviously didn’t communicate with each other about how they thought things would go which makes me very sad. i know they wouldn't have been able to stay together no matter the amount of communication but maybe things would've ended a little softer and a little kinder.

my overall feelings and connection with this movie:

now it’s time to get personal. i was 12 when i first saw lalaland, and im now 18. ive been obsessed with this fucking movie FOR SIX YEARS. SIX!!!! so its clear that i really love this movie. i got my first taste when seb playing mia and sebastian's theme was reenacted on some award show. i was immediately hooked and listened to the soundtrack for weeks until i saw the movie with my best friend at the time. i went into that movie with every word of every song memorized. the guy sitting next to me got so annoyed at me whispering the songs that he left. anyways. i left that movie shell shocked. i know saying this movie changed me is cringe but i really do mean it. there was a hole in my heart craving something and this movie filled it perfectly.

over the next six years (six!?!?!?), i would rewatch this movie anytime that i could and every time i was left distraught with so many thoughts spilling out of my brain. my mom has heard a lot of these thoughts. she has also cried with me over this movie. i remember the one time where i watched this movie at boarding school. for some reason it fucked me over so badly this time and i cried over it harder than i’ve ever cried about it before. like sobbing. so hard. (and this was when i was an edge lord and wore so much eyeliner and mascara. i cried a lot of it off) it was sort of cathartic really, highly recommend it.

anyways, i think lalaland’s ending is what makes it truly memorable. and if you hate the ending of this movie you are wrong and stupid. you hate it because its realistic and it hurt and the movie gave you a false hope and grabbed that hope and crushed it like a can in front of you. this movie was like no other and thats what made it truly amazing. it didn't follow the path of hollywood magic and love prevails. it took the road less taken and decided to be mean. not everything can be like the honeymoon period of the movie, it had to end and it ended realistically and thats just part of the charm baby.

i will maybe go more into specific aspects of the movie but i have to rewatch it again before i can do that so stay tuned

#this movie means so much to me #i will never be normal about lalaland #i love it too much #june's info dumps #lalaland #la la land #mia and sebastian

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worthless-weight-in-gold · 11 months

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get to know the author!

name : gold, unless we're close enough for u to get my discord and then you get my Actual Name #StaySafeKids

pronouns : generally people use she/her or they/them for me

preference of communication : tumblr ims (usually i send a text wall of plot ideas to new mutuals) and then discord if we get chatty :3c

most active muse : rn daniels, eun yoo, and bruce. overall it changes a lot though

experience / how many years : making us show our age are we, huh? i started rp'ing in 2007 over text with my friends . that's where i was at . i started rp'ing on tumblr in probably 2008?

best experience : on my cheesy shit but i've met some really good friends on tumblr who love me not despite of but bc of my horrifically cringe sensibilities. ive literally flown out to friends from tumblr/flown them to me like 6 or 7 times :3c

rp pet peeves : when people get like really entitled to your writing. badgering others for replying slowly/shorter than u want like someone is making u rp with that person is wild. my other big one is when people disrespect other muses and their capabilities to make their own muses feel cooler (except disrespect jim he's a piece of shit loser --)

fluff, angst, or smut : im an angst lover first and a human being second. i love psychological horror/terror above all else. fluff is nice for a lil detox or to make the angst hit harder. i almost never write smut, ive literally only done so on this blog twice and its over 5 years old lol

plots or memes : i prefer to plot at first so we go into with ideas, then when we both have a pretty solid idea of the type of shit our muses get up to and how they interact memes are very fun! i especially like memes that are like flashes forwards from current plots in threads to get us more hyped for hitting that point

long or short replies : it literally takes me so long to do short replies because i have to go back and cut things out. im a verbose woman. i got a lot to say! i like giving my writing partners stuff to work off of, especially non-verbal tells my charas give

time to write : mostly when i am breathing & conscious and not actively doing something with friends/family. neta writing is my biggest hobby, if im not writing on here im probably writing just random stuff on my own

are you like your muses : i have at least 1 projected trait per muse. usually more tbh. how many varies between muse, but if you notice themes of "lgbt and has adhd" you might onto something,

tagged by: the wonderful @mutatedangels

tagging: @fasciinating @manneatcr

#q #❝ oh wow it facts about me ❞ | it mun about #i decided i wanted mun icons so i drew myself in my fastest style aksjdhkajsdf

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rustyvanburace · 1 year

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For the SMT ask! 3, 12, 14.

Thank you for the asks!

3: Favorite alignment

I don't care how cringe or boring this is, but my pick is Neutral. This alignment has always been the most satisfying to me and the one truest to my values. It's also often the hardest alignment to get, but I also welcome that challenge.

Sure it doesn't "solve anything" as so many SMT fans are quick to point out. But neither does Law or Chaos and I'm really loathe when people try to paint those as the be-all end-all. The cycle is always going to repeat itself again regardless of ending, but that is exactly the beauty with SMT's narrative. We shouldn't be treating the alignments as solutions when they're really not.

Mini-rant aside though, I just like Neutral the most. Other times I like Chaos to an extent, but it really depends on the game.

12: Hardest SMT

I think of all the Megaten I've played thus far, the hardest for me was Strange Journey (original). That one was my fifth SMT game, so I didn't really struggle with it too-too much, but there were definitely sone really challenging parts that got me stuck for a bit. But that made the bosses all the more satisfying. Jimenez's boss battle in Neutral was one of the hardest I've fought but was also the best one by far.

Truthfully I think I would've had a far harder time with it if it weren't for the demon keyword feature, though I didn't abuse it either.

14: Best soundtrack

This is going to sound incredibly biased of me, but hands down, it has got to be the SMT IV duology soundtracks. They are so incredibly varied and atmospheric that perfectly fits IV's tone and environments. I have quite a few favorites from IV's soundtrack alone and never grow tired of them.

SMT V's is a very close second though, for much of the same reasons. Ryota Kozuka is incredible at his craft and I'm really glad he composed for these games.

In so far as Persona games, I'm fond of P1's (original's), the P2 duology, and the P3 media.

#long post #smt #Rusty Answers

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traumxrei-archive · 2 years

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1) YEAAAAAHHHHHH LEONA WOOOOOO Love all of your leona fics, they are so, so good!!! Silly lion man, love him. you write him super well too!!!!! (also tumblr how dare you not give me a notif. /lh) Honestly your leona fics are what got me to actually like his character in the first place- i mean i liked him in book 2 (just not as much as i do now-) but idk they way some of the fandom portrays him- y e a h. Love him lots now so thank you for that! /srs

2) Enstars. ive had “come on baby america” stuck im my head for around 5 days now (thanks to my friends on discord- thanks a lot roblox hq.) To be completely honest ive never really been a big fan of rhythm games- at least before twst (i know it’s technically not a rhythm game but like. come on. its 1/3 rhythm game) But i’ve gotten slightly better at rhythm like things thanks to twst so looking forward to enstars!!! also cant wait to get attached to the characters, i know like literally nothing about them-

3) Yes okay thanks for pointing out the crossed out demon on Yu’s intro sheet!! Both of his parents are demons, (mother((Emiriko)) is a water demon, basically demons specifically adapted to living both on water and on land. father((Luka)) is a fire demon, adapted to living in lava and extremely hot places.) so it doesn’t really make sense for him not to be one. Instead, he uses potions (specifically made to not leave a magic scent/residue on the user) To hide his demon appearance, mainly his horns and tail, since its harder to hide those, however said potions do hide the rest of his demon features really well! (fangs, ears((which are normally like small elf ears and tipped in dark gray and black.)), etc.) i could talk all day about my boy, but for now im just gonna leave you with this.

Have a great day!!

-🍓

(leona fic goes brr)

1 - I'M GLAD YOU ENJOYED THE LEONA FIC !! it was also such a blast for me to write >:DD and that's...that's actually really touching :')) i'm kinda surprised that you fell for leona because of my fics and ahh saying that makes it sound unreal again-

but i can understand why some ppl choose to portray leona as someone who's just plain mean and lazy. bc that's exactly how he comes off. even after his overblot, he doesn't quite get the same wake up call that the others got. he didn't get the scolding like riddle, he didn't get the fact that his friends would always be there like azul did, and he most certainly didn't get the same emotional release that jamil. chapter 2's writing isn't the best twst writing out there, so it's easy to dismiss his character as just what he appears as. his flashback does give us some background on why he puts up such a mean and lazy front despite having potential, but well...some creators might prefer for him just to be that. i'm not here to critique them on how they portray him but it does make me kinda :') when i see that ppl don't like leona as much bc of stuff they've read around the fandom or bc they judge him too quick. n e ways enough abt leona we alr know how whipped i am for him-

2 - I'M SO SORRY FOR YOU BUT ME TOO- c'mon baby america syndrome is real everyone !! stay safe and don't watch cover song 1 crazy:b x undead usa which you can find at this link no matter what !!! /j it made me cringe so hard i had to take a break from watching it but it's so damn catchy TT^TT also you knowing literally nothing abt them was me 40-ish days ago. don't you worry !! you'll get to know them slowly hehe and if you wanna get to know them quickly you could read previous stories or their wiki pages ofc (you could dm me for resources if you'd like :D)

3 - and ooh !! yu lore drop !! how was he able to keep this all a secret from the rest of the ppl at nrc btw ? or does crowley + the staff know, but they keep it a secret from the rest of the student body ? and idk if this is a weird question to ask but did he have any problems like...making the potions ? since he's in twisted wonderland now and not his original homeworld, did the ingredients differ or was it mostly the same ? idk if that makes sense, anyway, i just like asking abt ppl's characters bc it's so interesting to see how many details you have abt him <333

hope that you're having a good day / night wherever you are, strawberry anon !!

#/trau replies #/🍓 anon #ok sorry for the lengthy ramble abt leona #BUT I'M GLAD THAT YOU LIKE HIM BC OF THE FICS *SOBS*#THANKS FOR GIVING HIM A SECOND CHANCE !!!#and yes enstars #in 3 days sobs #abt to start a fresh wave of mental illness in me sjfdkf #also yes i find ocs interesting #bc i'm trying to make my own #it's working kinda but i am still developing them !! currently

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gayspock · 10 days

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cringe check

ok lastone tonight before i flush my head down the fucking toilet or whatever the fuck i can do , just god thinking abt how fucking much youre left behind with fucking everything. i wonder how many lives everyone ive known have lived in the past 10 or so fucking years, whilst ive done fucking nothing at all... because i cant even pull myself together just for one fucking second. i feellike a rotted fucking cunt. i dont know why i have to be such a fucking failure at fucking everything no matter how much i try like its never enough for anything and i cant make anything work out right and even when i do fucking try my best nobody ever even fucking believes me because its just that laughably bad half the fucking time . its so fucking embarrassing it just gets worse its fucking everything i cant fucking manage anything half the time without fucking falling apart. at least 10 fucking years ago i was a loser whose brain was fucking rotted by fandom bullshit or whatver now i fucking pick up anything and i feel myself shaking and sick half the time because it just makes me cry and get upset like i cant fucking read anything any more without losing my mind because even books about sad depressed fucking cunts have to have some other fucking person in it and to make the thing fucking go forward or they at least had something that they lost in the fucking first place and it just makes me sob because its not like i can even have that to fucking cling to i just fucking rot in here alone and its getting harder and harder to even be a fucking delusional dipshit. i dont know why i keep thinking new beginnings might help that trying might help and i hear other people fucking whispering at work and the tone of their fucking voices shift as they realise oh fuck me hannah did nothing again this weekend oh hannah youre not in contact with anyone from uni or with anyone else what did you do this weekend? oh spend it alone again oh ha ha um... no no noim fucking not i dont know whats wrong with me i spent 3 years i feel like they never happened any more i cant fucking remember anything i turned up to graduation and people didnt even know who i was because i just cant keep a fucking hand on any of it and the exact same thing happened at sixth form and secondary school and primary school no mnatter how hard i try at new places to try and be fucking nice nobody can fucking stand me and im trying not to be a btich half the time but it gets harder and fucking harder and the longer i go the harder it gets and nobody fucking wants to deal with a grown fucking adult that doesnt have anything that cant handle anything what do you even fucking talk about with a fucking blank wall and an empty headed freak with no other friends theres nothing but i cant handle anything i cant do it i keep trying and i cant do it by myself its such a stupid neverending fucking cycle and i feel like everything was so bad when then but i feel like a physical fucking difference with how much slower my brain feels nowadays like not just the brain fog i used to have but i cant even fucking string shit together or whatever and god fuckingg christ i think part of my brain might just be fucking collapsing in on itself im just biding my fucking time or whatever until etcwhy why why. sorry i dont mean all that

#egg.txt

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